时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:04] | – Max. – No, | -麦克斯 -不 |
[00:06] | don’t come over here with that “I’m the boss, | 少来我面前摆出那”我是老板 |
[00:07] | you are the waitress” look, | 你是服务员”的姿态 |
[00:09] | ’cause I could just as easily give you | 因为老娘也可以立刻回敬你 |
[00:10] | the “I’m the murderer, you’re the victim” look. | “我是杀手 你是待宰羔羊”的姿态 |
[00:14] | The muscular woman at table two | 第2桌的金刚芭比 |
[00:16] | is sending her bagel back. | 退了她的贝果 |
[00:17] | She said she ordered a plain one. | 她说她点了原味儿 |
[00:19] | I’m sorry, did you say she wanted a multi-grain? | 抱歉 你说她点的是杂粮口味吗 |
[00:22] | No, plain. | 是原味儿 |
[00:23] | Whole grain? | 全麦口味吗 |
[00:24] | No, plain. | 是原味儿 |
[00:25] | – Garlic? – No. | -大蒜口味 -不是 |
[00:26] | The plain! The plain! | 就原味儿 原味儿啊 |
[00:33] | It took me two years, | 虽然等了两年 |
[00:34] | but I finally got him to say it. | 但终于让他说出口了[捉弄阿憨口音] |
[00:59] | Are you telling me you don’t hear that cat? | 别告诉我你没听到那猫叫声 |
[01:01] | We have to let it in. | 我们得放它进来 |
[01:03] | It’s clearly a stray, | 明显是只流浪喵星人 |
[01:04] | or this marine I met last week at a blood drive. | 或是我上周在捐血车附近碰到的海军男 |
[01:09] | Last week there was a man outside our door screaming, | 上周有个男的在门外大喊 |
[01:12] | “I’ve been stabbed,” | “我被人捅了” |
[01:13] | and all you did was yell, “shut up.” | 而你只是回敬他一句”闭嘴” |
[01:19] | Because he said, “I think I’ve been stabbed”” | 因为他说他”好像”被人捅了 |
[01:23] | You’re either stabbed, or you’re not stabbed, my friend. | 要么是被捅 要么是没被捅 朋友 |
[01:29] | Listen, it sounds like the cat’s saying hello. | 你听 那个喵星人像是在说”哈喽[你好]” |
[01:35] | Hello, hello. | 哈喽 哈喽 |
[01:41] | Listen, it’s talking. | 你听 它在说话呢 |
[01:42] | It’s saying, “Help. Can I come in” | 它在说”帮帮我 让我进来” |
[01:46] | Really? | 是吗 |
[01:47] | ’cause I think it’s saying, | 我觉得它是在说 |
[01:48] | “I’m fine. Go back to sleep.” | “我没事 你们回去睡吧” |
[01:53] | Come on, it clearly just said, | 你听 这句明显是在说 |
[01:54] | “Let me in. Ignore the blonde. | “让我进来 别理金发妞 |
[01:57] | She’s a bitch” | 她是个贱人” |
[01:59] | Look, you can’t just let in everything | 你不能有人来我们家门口 |
[02:00] | that shows up at our door and says hello. | 说声”哈喽” 就让他进来吧 |
[02:03] | Yeah, I can. I’ve done it. | 为啥不行 姐就这么干过 |
[02:05] | Max, we can’t. | 不行 麦克斯 |
[02:06] | We can’t become cat ladies. | 我们不能变成猫痴女 |
[02:08] | And it always starts out innocently, | 这一开始都是发善心 |
[02:10] | rescuing a stray, | 救一只小野猫 |
[02:11] | but then you have to get another one | 但之后就得再弄一只 |
[02:12] | so that they can entertain each other while you’re at work. | 去上班时它们才有个伴 |
[02:15] | And then somewhere along the line, four more sneak in, | 接着不知不觉 就多混了四只进来 |
[02:17] | and you think, “We’re good. We’re cool. | 你会想 “没事啦 没问题的 |
[02:19] | We’re the cute girls with six cats.” | 我们是有六只猫的姐妹花” |
[02:21] | And then, one day, there you are on Animal Cops, | 之后某天就是你上了《动物警察》节目 |
[02:24] | 动物星球频道的节目 拯救居住于饲养环境 主人照顾不周环境的宠物 | |
[02:24] | screaming, “Don’t take my babies! | 哭喊”别带走我的小天使 |
[02:27] | These 27 angels is all I got!” | 这27只小天使是我的一切” |
[02:34] | That’s how it goes, Max. | 事情就会是这样 麦克斯 |
[02:35] | Once you get one, you get 27. | 一旦收留了第1只 最后就会变成27只 |
[02:38] | – Not true. – Really? | -才不是呢 -是吗 |
[02:40] | How many garden gnomes do you have under your bed? | 那你床下收了多少只花园矮人[庭园摆饰] |
[02:43] | 27. | 27只 |
[02:45] | What? | 干嘛 |
[02:46] | They understand I’m only keeping them there | 他们理解这只是暂时的 在等我有院子的那天 |
[02:48] | until I get a yard. | 就把他们放出来了啊 |
[02:51] | Come on. I want a kitty. | 拜托嘛 我想要一只小喵喵 |
[02:53] | Kitty for Max. Kitty for Max. | 麦麦的小喵喵 麦麦的小喵喵 |
[02:55] | Max, we already have a horse. | 麦克斯 我们已经有匹马了 |
[02:57] | We can’t afford another animal. | 我们养不起新宠物了 |
[02:58] | – We’re broke. – Come on. | -咱们没钱 -拜托嘛 |
[03:00] | Chestnut needs a friend. | 栗宝需要一个朋友 |
[03:02] | He is dying to trash us to someone, | 他超想跟别人吐槽我们 |
[03:04] | and all he’s got is that rat | 但对象只有那只 |
[03:05] | who is super self-involved. | 只管自家事的老鼠 |
[03:09] | Who the hell is that? It’s so late. | 是哪个王八蛋啊 都这么晚了 |
[03:11] | It’s probably the cat, | 可能是那喵星人 |
[03:11] | or the guy who’s raping girls in Brooklyn. | 也可能是布鲁克林连环强奸犯 |
[03:13] | Open the door, and roll the dice. | 开门看运气吧 |
[03:17] | Oh, please. | 拜托 |
[03:23] | Please, somebody tell me | 拜托告诉我 |
[03:25] | they killed that damn cat. | 有人已经宰了那只贱猫 |
[03:28] | And where did it learn how to say hello? | 还有 那只猫去哪里学说”哈喽”的啊 |
[03:32] | Told you. | 我就说吧 |
[03:33] | It’s been keeping me up all night. | 被它害得我整晚不能睡 |
[03:36] | This poor cat has been crying at our door | 这可怜的喵星人在我们门外 |
[03:38] | every night trying to get in, | 叫了好几晚想进来 |
[03:40] | trying to get a little warm milk, | 想蹭两口温牛奶 |
[03:42] | maybe a skosh of tuna. | 可能再加两口鲔鱼 |
[03:43] | Max, that’s our dinner tomorrow. | 麦克斯 那是我们明天的晚餐 |
[03:47] | Wait. Be careful. | 等等 你们要小心 |
[03:49] | A cat is not always a cat. | 猫不见得一定是猫 |
[03:52] | Oh, please continue. | 请继续往下说 |
[03:54] | In Poland, we believe if you die outside, | 在波兰 我们相信如果你横死野外 |
[03:58] | you’re reincarnated as a cat. | 你会转生为一只猫 |
[04:02] | Am I the only one who thinks Poland | 我是唯一觉得波兰 |
[04:03] | sounds like a real freak show? | 像出奇人异事秀的地方吗 |
[04:06] | So never let a cat in, | 绝对别让猫进来 |
[04:08] | because it’s just a person that’s been reincarnated | 因为那只是某个转生的人 |
[04:11] | and will bring in all the bad jews? | 会带各种”坏犹太”进来 |
[04:16] | I think you mean juju. | 你是想说坏运气吧 |
[04:18] | Oh, do I? | 是吗 |
[04:21] | Nighty-night. | 晚安啦 |
[04:25] | Look, we just have to put up with it, | 我们只需要忍它一会 |
[04:26] | and after a while, it’ll go away on its own. | 等上一阵 它就会自己走掉了 |
[04:28] | Go away on its own? | 自己走掉 |
[04:30] | It’s a stray cat, not my father. | 它是流浪喵星人 不是我老爸 |
[04:32] | Good night, Max. | 晚安 麦克斯 |
[04:34] | Fine. No kitty for Max. | 行 麦麦没小喵喵 |
[04:36] | No kitty for Max. | 麦麦没小喵喵 |
[04:41] | See, Max, I told you the cat would stop. | 麦克斯 你看 我就说它会消停吧 |
[04:44] | Max? | 麦克斯 |
[04:49] | Max. | 麦克斯 |
[04:50] | Can we keep it, mom? Can we keep it? | 妈 我们能养它吗 能养吗 |
[04:57] | Earl, you don’t want a cat, do you? | 厄尔 你不会想要一只喵星人吧 |
[04:59] | A cat? God, no. | 喵星人 我死都不要 |
[05:00] | Cats steal your weed. | 喵星人会偷你的大麻 |
[05:04] | See, Caroline? | 卡洛琳 你看 |
[05:05] | Nobody wants the cat. | 没人想要喵星人 |
[05:06] | We’re keeping it, | 我们来收留它 |
[05:07] | and I think we should start celebrating right meow. | 我觉得现在可以开始办庆喵宴了 |
[05:07] | now现在 音似meow喵 | |
[05:10] | Max, you didn’t even try to convince him. | 麦克斯 你都没试着说服他 |
[05:13] | Come on, Earl. | 拜托 厄尔 |
[05:13] | Don’t you want a cat? | 你不想要只猫吗 |
[05:15] | Kitty for Earl. Kitty for Earl. | 厄尔来只小喵喵 厄尔来只小喵喵 |
[05:17] | I’m too old to have a cat. | 我老得不能养猫了 |
[05:19] | I’m about six months away | 我估计再过个半年 |
[05:20] | from crapping in a box myself. | 我就得拉屎在”人”砂盆里了 |
[05:26] | Oleg, how do you feel about cats? | 奥列格 你对猫有何感觉 |
[05:28] | Loved it. Saw it nine times on Broadway. | 爱死了 去百老汇看过九次 |
[05:33] | Very clever show, | 很有才的音乐剧 |
[05:33] | 《猫》是世界上最成功的音乐剧之一 所有的演员都扮成了猫 | |
[05:34] | but a little expensive. | 但有点贵 |
[05:35] | The most I’ve ever paid to see a pussy dance. | 这辈子花最多钱看的猫[下阴]跳舞 |
[05:43] | So far we’re keeping the cat. | 目前还是我们收留喵星人 |
[05:46] | Hey, Han, do you want a cat? | 阿憨 你想要只猫吗 |
[05:48] | You could finally have a friend your own size. | 你终于能有个跟你一个大小的朋友了 |
[05:51] | Come on, you could ride it to work. | 来嘛 你能骑它来上班呢 |
[05:53] | No, I can’t have a cat. | 不 我不能养猫 |
[05:55] | They’re lazy, moody, and judgmental. | 它们懒惰 脾气坏 又爱鄙视人 |
[05:57] | I don’t need another you. | 简直就是你的翻版 |
[06:01] | – Plus, they don’t show affection. – Sure they do. | -而且它们又不会表达爱意 -当然会啊 |
[06:04] | You just have to know how to get it out of them. | 你知道怎么让它们展露就行了 |
[06:06] | Cats love to be lightly spanked on their bottom. | 喵星人喜欢被人轻轻打屁股 |
[06:09] | I don’t understand why a cat would like that. | 我无法理解猫为什么会喜欢那样 |
[06:12] | It’s so mysterious. | 太难懂了 |
[06:14] | Kitty. Kitty. Kitty-kitty-kitty. | 喵喵 喵喵 喵喵喵喵喵喵 |
[06:16] | Kitty. Kitty. Kitty-kitty-kitty. | 阿喵 阿喵 阿喵阿喵阿喵 |
[06:22] | Well, I can’t have a cat. | 我还是不能养猫 |
[06:23] | I work all the time. | 我整天得上班 |
[06:26] | Why did I like that so much? | 我为什么会喜欢刚才那种感觉 |
[06:29] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
[06:30] | Something with boobs was touching you. | 因为被有咪咪的人碰了吗 |
[06:32] | People with boobs touch me. | 也有别的有咪咪的人碰我啊 |
[06:34] | She means aside from your mom. | 她指除了你妈以外的人 |
[06:36] | Then, no. | 那就没了 |
[06:39] | Well, we’ve asked everyone we know, | 我们问过所有认识的了 |
[06:42] | and now I’m depressed, because this | 问完我好伤感 因为这些人 |
[06:43] | is everyone we know. | 就是我们所有认识的人 |
[06:45] | Let’s start asking people in the diner. | 开始问餐厅里的人吧 |
[06:47] | We need to find it a place to live. | 我们得为它找个家 |
[06:48] | Why? | 为什么 |
[06:49] | Why can’t it live right here in my arm | 为什么它不能住在我怀里 |
[06:51] | in between my hot and naturals? | 睡在我天然火辣胸器之间 |
[06:55] | Kitty. Kitty. Kitty-kitty-kitty. | 喵喵 喵喵 喵喵喵喵喵喵 |
[06:57] | I have to admit, that does feel kind of good. | 我得承认 感觉是挺爽的 |
[07:00] | Excuse me. | 打扰一下 |
[07:02] | I overheard you two asking people | 我听到了你们在问人 |
[07:03] | if they want a cat, | 有没兴趣收留猫 |
[07:05] | And I’d really love one. | 我真的很想要一只 |
[07:08] | Really? Well, we have your cat. | 真的吗 我们正好有一只 |
[07:09] | Whoa. Whoa. Not so fast. | 等等 等等 别着急 |
[07:11] | I got a couple of questions first. | 我得先问几个问题 |
[07:13] | Do you smoke? | 你抽烟吗 |
[07:14] | Yes. | 抽 |
[07:14] | Drink? | 你喝酒吗 |
[07:15] | Yes. | 喝 |
[07:16] | Prescription drugs. | 处方药呢 |
[07:17] | Occasionally. | 偶尔 |
[07:19] | Forget the cat. | 别管喵星人了 |
[07:20] | Will you take me home? | 带我回家吧 |
[07:30] | Kitty, you’re gonna love this lady. | 喵喵 你会喜欢这小姐的 |
[07:31] | She smokes, drinks, does prescription drugs, | 她抽烟 喝酒 又嗑处方药 |
[07:34] | Which we all know means Oxy. | 明显是强效止痛药上瘾 |
[07:37] | Hi. | 你们好啊 |
[07:38] | Oh, my God. These she is. | 天啊 她来了 |
[07:40] | She’s purr-fect. | 她真是太”它喵”可爱了 |
[07:44] | Come in. Welcome home, you. | 进来吧 欢迎回家 |
[07:46] | See, Max? It’s great. | 你看 麦克斯 太好了 |
[07:50] | What the hell is going on in here? | 这里是什么情况啊 |
[07:53] | Look at all these cats | 你看这堆猫 |
[07:54] | crammed in this little space. | 塞在这小房子里 |
[07:55] | It’s so sad. | 也太惨了 |
[07:56] | The only thing missing is Sarah Mclachlan | 现在就只差萨拉・麦克拉克伦 |
[07:56] | 加拿大知名女歌手 也是防止虐待动物协会的成员 曾为该组织录制过广告与歌曲 | |
[07:58] | singing in the corner. | 在角落唱歌了 |
[08:00] | What? It’s fine. | 还好吧 |
[08:01] | There’s not that many. | 也没这么多 |
[08:03] | They’re attacking! | 喵星人袭击啊 |
[08:06] | Sorry. He loves blondes. | 抱歉 他喜欢金发妞 |
[08:08] | And apparently pooping on the carpet. | 还喜欢拉屎在地毯上呢 |
[08:10] | No, twinkles, no. | 不行 闪闪 不可以 |
[08:12] | Oh, okay, quick introductions. | 好吧 我来简单介绍一下 |
[08:15] | That’s Bethany, Radford, Cellars, | 这些是 贝贝 福福 窖窖 |
[08:17] | Franklin, Eleanor, | 林林 诺诺 |
[08:18] | Pudding, Mustachio, Mitzi, Meredith, | 丁丁 髭髭 兹兹 梅梅 |
[08:20] | Baxter, Bernie. | 特特 尼尼 |
[08:22] | She remembers all of their names? | 她居然记得他们全部的名字 |
[08:24] | I don’t even remember the name of the guy | 我连破我处的男人 |
[08:25] | I lost my virginity to. | 名字都不记得 |
[08:27] | Best I can do is “coach” something. | 我最多就记得是某某教练 |
[08:30] | Well, Catherine, I think it’s lovely | 凯瑟琳 我觉得这很有爱 |
[08:31] | That you have such a big, loving hairy family, | 你有个一个庞大又多毛的家庭 |
[08:34] | kind of like the Kardashians. | 跟卡戴珊家族一样 |
[08:34] | 该家族成员众多 体毛浓厚 金・卡戴珊就曾为激光除毛产品代言 | |
[08:38] | There’s only 24. | 只有24只而已啦 |
[08:43] | 31. | 变成31只了 |
[08:46] | Let’s go before one of these rabid cats bites us | 在这些狂猫病疯猫咬我们 |
[08:48] | and we become half-human, half-cat hybrids | 把我们变成流浪街头却从来不冷的 |
[08:50] | who wander the streets but are never cold. | 半人半猫混合体前 开溜吧 |
[08:53] | We’re just gonna go have a little conversation in the hall. | 我们得去走廊上讨论一下 |
[08:56] | And F.Y.I., the mother looks | 顺便一说 那只母猫 |
[08:58] | like she’s eating the little one. | 好像在吃小猫呢 |
[09:00] | Just a thought. | 我就随便说说 |
[09:01] | I’m only saying that ’cause it’s in her mouth. | 但我说的原因是因为那小猫在她嘴里 |
[09:03] | Mitzi, release! | 兹兹 松口 |
[09:06] | Let’s go! | 走吧 |
[09:07] | In less than five minutes, | 在刚才的五分钟里 |
[09:08] | It went from 24 to 31, | 就从24只变成了31只 |
[09:09] | and I saw two cats in the corner | 我还看到两只喵星人在角落 |
[09:11] | doing it doggie style, | 用”狗”爬式做爱呢 |
[09:12] | So in two months, we could be looking at 50 cats. | 再过两个月 估计就能突破50只喵星人了 |
[09:15] | Max, you can’t get pregnant doggie style. | 麦克斯 用狗爬式不会怀孕啦[会的] |
[09:18] | Right? | 对吧 |
[09:24] | We can’t go back in. | 我们不能进去了 |
[09:26] | There’s so much hair in there, | 里面毛掉得满坑满谷 |
[09:27] | I saw a cat using a lint roller. | 我看见一只喵星人在用粘毛刷呢 |
[09:30] | Okay, but if we don’t leave her here, | 好吧 但如果不把她留在这里 |
[09:32] | We only have one other option. | 我们就只剩一条路了 |
[09:33] | No, kitty is not going to a shelter. | 不行 不许送喵喵去收容所 |
[09:36] | Why? Lots of cats get adopted | 为什么 很多猫都被人收养 |
[09:37] | and end up in beautiful homes. | 然后住进一个漂亮的家 |
[09:39] | Look, I didn’t want to say this, | 我不想说出口 |
[09:42] | but she’s not pretty enough. | 但她不够漂亮 |
[09:45] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么呢 |
[09:47] | She’s not pretty enough. | 她不够漂亮 |
[09:51] | Come on, she doesn’t have classic good looks, | 别这样 虽然她没有经典的美猫脸 |
[09:53] | but she’s adorkable. | 但也呆萌呆萌的啊 |
[09:55] | We cannot take her to a shelter. | 我们不能送她进动物收容所 |
[09:56] | She’ll die there. | 她会死在里面 |
[09:58] | And, yeah, everyone says they want one with a nice personality, | 而且虽然大家都说想要好脾气的 |
[10:01] | but they really just want a hot, sexy, young kitten | 但真正想要的还是性感热辣”小野猫” |
[10:03] | who still gets excited about balls in her face. | 看到球[蛋蛋]在面前还会很兴奋的那种 |
[10:09] | Everything okay, ladies? | 姑娘们 一切还好吗 |
[10:11] | No, everything is far from okay. | 不 一点都不好 |
[10:13] | My boots are now UGGs, | 我的皮靴变雪地靴了 |
[10:14] | thanks to all the cat hair in there. | 真的谢谢你里面漫天飞舞的猫毛 |
[10:16] | Ow! Stop it! | 不许抓 |
[10:18] | Sorry, that’s Gina. | 抱歉 是娜娜 |
[10:19] | She’s bipolar, and she refuses to take her meds. | 她有躁郁症 而且还不愿意吃药 |
[10:22] | Ow! Ow! Stop it, Gina! | 快停手 娜娜 |
[10:24] | I’m sorry, Catherine. | 凯瑟琳 对不起了 |
[10:25] | This isn’t gonna work out. | 这事情看来是不行了 |
[10:26] | It’s nothing personal. | 其实不是你不好 |
[10:27] | It’s just that you’re crazy. | 只是你是个疯子 |
[10:29] | Truly, I’m heartbroken. | 我真的好心碎啊 |
[10:32] | I already have a name picked out for her. | 我都替她取好名字了呢 |
[10:34] | Veronica two. | 薇薇二号 |
[10:35] | Ow! Stop it! | 停下 |
[10:39] | I got to go! | 我得先进去了 |
[10:40] | Who wants treat? | 谁想吃零食 |
[10:43] | Um, just so we all know, | 我就确认一下 |
[10:45] | Veronica one committed suicide, right? | 薇薇一号是自杀的 对吧 |
[10:49] | Kitty, we’re gonna find you a nice home. | 喵喵 我们会给你找户好人家 |
[10:57] | Want a cat? | 想养只喵星人吗 |
[11:01] | Free cat? | 要免费喵星人吗 |
[11:04] | Want a cat? | 想养只喵星人吗 |
[11:07] | You are going to love it here. | 你一定会爱上这里的 |
[11:09] | Park Slope is like the Beverly Hills of Brooklyn. | 公园坡区就像是布鲁克林的比佛利山庄 |
[11:09] | 比佛利山庄有”全世界最尊贵住宅区”称号 | |
[11:13] | Here comes a good one. | 貌似来了个有钱人 |
[11:15] | Hey. Want a cat. | 想养只喵星人吗 |
[11:18] | Excuse me? | 你刚说什么 |
[11:19] | Cat? | 喵星人 |
[11:22] | Yeah, I’ll take some crack. | 好 给我来点可卡因 |
[11:25] | She said “cat.” | 她说的是”喵星人” |
[11:26] | We’re looking for a nice home for a cat. | 我们在为一只猫找一个完美的家 |
[11:28] | – Oh, so no crack. – No. | -所以不是可卡因 -不是 |
[11:30] | Well, why would I want a cat? | 我干嘛要养一只猫 |
[11:32] | I’m a crackhead. | 老子爱的是嗑药好吗 |
[11:36] | Well, kitty, | 小喵喵 |
[11:38] | as hard as this is, | 虽然这个决定很艰难 |
[11:39] | I think it’s time to let you | 我觉得是时候让你 |
[11:40] | back out there into the world. | 重回这个世界的怀抱了 |
[11:42] | At least we leave you in a rich neighborhood; | 至少我们把你放在一个有钱人的住宅区 |
[11:43] | You’ll have a better shot at life. | 让你新生活的起点更高 |
[11:45] | Max, you are okay with this? | 麦克斯 你真的狠得下心吗 |
[11:47] | Well, I was more okay | 我当初把我亲戚家的熊孩子 |
[11:48] | when I did this with my cousin’s baby. | 扔在街上时 比现在还狠得下心 |
[11:54] | There you go. | 你自由了 |
[11:59] | Oh, yeah. Move him to the next house. | 对 把她放到隔壁房子 |
[12:01] | South-facing sun. Pre-war building. | 朝南向阳 还是战前风格建筑 |
[12:03] | She’ll love it. | 她肯定会喜欢的 |
[12:04] | There you go. | 走吧 |
[12:07] | You live in Park Slope now. | 你现在在公园坡区 |
[12:09] | You can adopt an African baby | 这里的人喜欢收养一个非洲宝宝 |
[12:11] | and wheel it around in a $900 stroller. | 然后把它放在价值900块的婴儿车里到处晃悠 |
[12:14] | Can you believe that was my plan “B”? | 你怎么知道这是我的B计划 |
[12:17] | Run! Run away. | 走 快走开 |
[12:20] | Go. | 走吧 |
[12:22] | Ah, screw it. She lives here now. | 算了 她现在就住这里 |
[12:28] | Look. | 瞧 |
[12:29] | They have a piano. | 这家人有台钢琴耶 |
[12:30] | You can make videos. | 你可以录玩钢琴的视频 |
[12:32] | You’ll be a Youtube star. | 你肯定会成为网上红猫 |
[12:36] | Bye, kitty. | 再见了 小喵喵 |
[12:40] | Wow, I’m shocked you didn’t stop me. | 我真惊讶你居然没拦着我 |
[12:42] | Stop you? | 拦着你 |
[12:43] | If I had known that was option, | 如果我早知道可以这样 |
[12:45] | I would have had you stuff me in there. | 我会让你把我扔到那房子里面 |
[12:51] | I wonder what kitty’s doing | 我在想小喵喵现在 |
[12:52] | in her fancy town house right now. | 在她的豪华别墅里干嘛 |
[12:54] | She’s probably snuggling with | 她可能依偎在一个 |
[12:55] | an older gay guy who likes to read. | 喜欢阅读的老基佬身旁 |
[12:57] | You know, ’cause gay guys | 因为基佬是现在 |
[12:58] | are the only ones who still read. | 世界上唯一还在阅读的族群 |
[13:00] | They’re probably on the couch right now | 他们俩可能窝在沙发上 |
[13:02] | with A Tale of Two Kitties. | 一起看《加菲猫2 双猫记》 |
[13:05] | I’m proud of us. | 我真为我们感到骄傲 |
[13:06] | We selflessly gave that cat a better life | 我们无私地给予了那只猫 |
[13:08] | than we could ever afford for ourselves. | 我们永远也无法给予的好生活 |
[13:10] | Oh, don’t try to get in on that. | 别想跟着沾光 |
[13:12] | I did the right thing. | 是我干了一件好事 |
[13:13] | You tried to leave her | 你差点把她 |
[13:14] | at that crazy lady’s pussy riot. | 扔在那个疯女人的疯猫窝里 |
[13:18] | Hi. Excuse me. | 打扰你们了 |
[13:19] | Would it be okay if I put this flier next to your window? | 我能不能把这张传单贴在你们窗户旁 |
[13:21] | – No. – Sure. | -不行 -当然行 |
[13:23] | We lost our cat, Jinxy, like, | 我们的猫金科希丢了 |
[13:25] | a week ago in this neighborhood. | 大约一周前 就在这附近丢的 |
[13:26] | Have you seen her? | 你们有见过她吗 |
[13:28] | – No. – No. | -没有 -当然没有 |
[13:29] | I haven’t seen a cat in a long time. | 我很久没见过猫了 |
[13:31] | I was just saying to her yesterday, | 我昨天还跟她念叨 |
[13:32] | “I haven’t seen a cat in a long time.” | “我好久没见过猫了” |
[13:35] | Um, how come you didn’t have a collar on her? | 你怎么会不在她脖子上弄个项圈呢 |
[13:39] | And where’s her I.D. Tag? | 她连身份标签都没有 |
[13:40] | Even my mother had an I.D. Tag on me. | 就算是我妈 也会给我弄个身份标签 |
[13:42] | Well, it was a flea collar, but… | 虽然是灭蚤颈圈 但总比… |
[13:45] | Why did it take you so long to put the signs up? | 你为什么过了这么久才来贴传单找猫 |
[13:48] | Um, what’s happening? | 你们是怎么了 |
[13:50] | Um, here’s what’s happening: | 事情是这样的 |
[13:52] | we are more than happy | 我们非常乐意 |
[13:53] | to put up this flier of your cat, | 把这个寻猫启事贴上 |
[13:54] | which we have never, ever seen. | 虽然我们从来没见过这只小猫咪 |
[13:56] | I mean, seriously, where did all the cats go? | 说真的 现在猫都跑到哪里去了 |
[13:58] | Queens? Staten Island? | 跑到皇后区吗 还是斯塔顿岛 |
[14:00] | ’cause they’re not in this neighborhood. | 反正它们决不可能在这一带 |
[14:03] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[14:04] | This was weird. | 你们俩好奇怪哦 |
[14:08] | Is there any way this cat isn’t kitty? | 这只猫是你的那只小喵喵吗 |
[14:10] | Nope, that’s her. | 就是她 |
[14:11] | Same green eyes, same notch in the ear. | 一样的绿眼睛 一样的耳朵轮廓 |
[14:14] | Hello. Hello. | 哈喽 哈喽 |
[14:16] | Oh, God. Oh, God. | 天啊 天啊 |
[14:19] | Hey, girls. What’s shaking? | 姑娘们 干嘛在垂头丧气 |
[14:21] | Not me, ’cause I’m all held in. | 我就不会 紧身衣把我包得紧实挺拔 |
[14:25] | Sorry, Sophie, the cupcake window | 抱歉 苏菲 小蛋糕窗口 |
[14:26] | isn’t open during the day. | 白天不营业 |
[14:28] | I don’t need your life story. | 又不是要你说整段人生经历 |
[14:29] | I just need a damn cupcake. | 老娘就买个小蛋糕而已 |
[14:32] | Sophie, do you remember that cat | 苏菲 你还记得那只 |
[14:34] | that was crying outside our building? | 在我们楼外大声哀嚎的喵星人吗 |
[14:35] | Yeah, you put it down? | 记得 你把它灭了吗 |
[14:38] | We thought it was a stray, | 我们以为她是一只流浪猫 |
[14:39] | so we tried to find a home for it, | 所以我们试图找人收养她 |
[14:40] | but couldn’t. | 但找不到 |
[14:42] | So you put it down. | 所以你把它灭了 |
[14:44] | No. | 没有啦 |
[14:45] | We left it in a really nice neighborhood. | 我们把它扔在一个超级好的住宅区 |
[14:47] | Oh, so a rich person put it down? | 所以找了个有钱人去灭了它吗 |
[14:51] | It turns out it wasn’t a stray at all. | 后来我们发现它根本不是流浪猫 |
[14:52] | We just met its owner. | 我们刚见到了它的主人 |
[14:53] | This is the cat, Sophie. | 这就是那只猫 苏菲 |
[14:56] | Her name’s Jinxy. | 她叫金科希 |
[14:58] | Oh, wait a minute. | 等一下 |
[14:59] | Wait a minute. | 等一下 |
[15:02] | You remember how I told you | 你们还记得上次我跟你们说 |
[15:04] | that if you die outside in Poland, | 如果你在波兰横死野外 |
[15:05] | you come back as a cat? | 你会转生为猫 |
[15:07] | Yeah, that’s kind of hard to forget. | 记得 这种话很难让人忘记 |
[15:09] | That’s not Jinxy. That’s my friend Nancy. | 那不是金科希 那是我的朋友南希 |
[15:16] | Look at her. | 你们看 |
[15:17] | Same green eyes, | 一样的绿眼睛 |
[15:18] | same notch in the ear. | 一样的耳朵轮廓 |
[15:20] | same whiskers. | 还有一样的胡须 |
[15:22] | I don’t think that this is Nancy. | 我觉得它不是南希 |
[15:24] | Oh, yes. | 就是她 |
[15:25] | She and I got in a big fight | 我跟她大吵了一架 |
[15:27] | and how she’s come back to haunt me. | 现在她阴魂不散 回来缠着我了 |
[15:30] | She died waiting for an apology from me, | 她到死都在等我跟她道歉 |
[15:33] | and now she’s back. | 而现在她转生回来了 |
[15:34] | Guess what. | 不过 |
[15:36] | She’s not gonna get it. | 我死也不会跟她道歉的 |
[15:50] | Jinxy! Jinxy! | 金科希 金科希 |
[15:53] | Jinxy, come on, girl. | 金科希 快出来 小可爱 |
[15:55] | Look, I said on the phone, | 我在电话中有说过 |
[15:56] | this area is where we randomly spotted her. | 我们曾意外在这一带看到过她 |
[15:59] | I wonder how Jinxy got all the way to Park Slope. | 奇怪 金科希怎么会大老远来到公园坡区 |
[16:02] | Just wait. She’s here, I promise. | 等着 我保证她就在这 |
[16:04] | Jinxy! | 金科希 |
[16:05] | Jinxy! | 金科希 |
[16:07] | Nancy. | 南希 |
[16:10] | – Nancy! – Nancy! | -南希 -南希 |
[16:12] | – Nancy! – Nancy! | -南希 -南希 |
[16:14] | Come on, Nancy! | 快出来 南希 |
[16:16] | Nancy, it’s Sophie! | 南希 我是苏菲 |
[16:18] | I’m here to apologize! | 我来跟你道歉了 |
[16:22] | Um, what’s happening? | 这又是玩的哪一出 |
[16:26] | Oh, my God. It’s Nancy. | 天啊 南希真出来了 |
[16:28] | I mean, Jinxy. | 我是说金科希 |
[16:29] | I mean, kitty. | 就是小喵喵啦 |
[16:33] | Hello. Hello. | 哈喽 哈喽 |
[16:36] | Hi, baby. | 小宝贝 |
[16:38] | Kitty, kitty. Kitty-kitty-kitty. | 喵喵 喵喵 喵喵喵喵喵喵 |
[16:40] | What she’s doing, they like it. | 猫咪都喜欢被这么拍 |
[16:42] | I know, because I liked it. | 我懂 因为我也很喜欢 |
[16:44] | Anyway, we found your cat. | 总之 我们找到了你的猫 |
[16:45] | Isn’t that great? | 皆大欢喜了吧 |
[16:46] | Actually, she’s my boyfriend’s cat. | 其实她是我男朋友的猫 |
[16:49] | I’m keeping her. | 我要留下她 |
[16:50] | Max, just close your eyes and look away, | 麦克斯 把眼睛闭上转过头去 |
[16:52] | like you do whenever those people ask you | 就像每次有人问你 |
[16:54] | if you have a minute to save the earth. | 有没有时间听他们拯救地球的大道理一样 |
[16:59] | Just stick it in here. | 把它扔里面就行 |
[17:00] | “Just stick it in here”? | “把它扔[插]里面就行” |
[17:02] | That’s what I say when my hand gets tired. | 每次我手累了时 我都这么说 |
[17:17] | Maxy. Maxy. | 麦麦 麦麦 |
[17:21] | Maxy, Maxy, Maxy. | 麦麦 麦麦 小麦麦 |
[17:36] | Now do me. | 现在换你拍我 |
[17:40] | First of all, | 首先 |
[17:42] | I own the diner now. | 现在餐厅归我 |
[17:46] | Secondly, don’t ever do that again. | 其次 再也别做这事 |
[17:51] | I guess I’ll just have to spank myself. | 看来我只能孤屁自打了 |
[17:55] | No surprise there. | 正常 |
[17:59] | I hope you’re happy. | 现在你开心啦 |
[18:00] | I found Jinxy’s owners on Facebook. | 我在脸书上找到了金科希的主人 |
[18:02] | Not one pic of kitty, | 里面连一张小喵喵的照片都没有 |
[18:03] | not even a status update | 甚至找到猫了也不更新状态 |
[18:05] | saying, “We found our cat.” | 说”我们找到我们的猫了” |
[18:06] | But she is more than willing | 相比之下 |
[18:07] | to talk about her Reverse French Manicure | 她更喜欢在上面谈论她的法式美甲 |
[18:09] | and posts pictures of a meal | 而且还上传食物的照片 |
[18:10] | I know she’s gonna make herself throw up later. | 不过她等下肯定会抠喉咙吐出来的 |
[18:13] | Come on, Max. | 别这样嘛 麦克斯 |
[18:14] | There’s got to be one photo of kitty. | 肯定会有小猫咪的照片 |
[18:17] | You found one? | 你找到了吗 |
[18:18] | No, that manicure is heaven. | 没有 但那美甲真漂亮 |
[18:21] | Max, photos or not, | 麦克斯 不管有没有照片 |
[18:23] | we need to focus on the fact | 我们都得面对事实 |
[18:24] | that the cat is back with the guy who loves her. | 那只猫已经回到了爱她的人身边 |
[18:26] | The guy who loves her? | 爱她的人 |
[18:27] | He doesn’t love kitty. | 他才不爱小喵喵呢 |
[18:28] | If he did, why aren’t there any pictures of her | 如果他爱她的话 为什么他第一次结婚 |
[18:30] | at his first wedding? | 小喵喵都合照到 |
[18:32] | What, he couldn’t spring for a cat tuxedo? | 干嘛 难道他买不起猫咪穿的西服吗 |
[18:34] | They’re, like, 20 bucks. | 也就20块钱而已 |
[18:36] | I know because I have one on my garden gnome. | 我知道价格 是因为我给我的花园矮人买过 |
[18:39] | This is not a loving home. | 这不是一个有爱的家 |
[18:41] | Pics, or it didn’t happen. | 无图无真相 |
[18:42] | Okay, Max. Okay, just say it. | 好吧 麦克斯 你何不直接说 |
[18:44] | I put the cat in an abusive home. | 我把猫扔去了一个虐待家庭 |
[18:45] | You put the cat in an abusive home. | 你把猫扔去了一个虐待家庭 |
[18:53] | I have a gift for you. | 我有份礼物要送你 |
[18:57] | No way! No way! | 不可能 不可能 |
[18:59] | Oh, yeah, it’s Jinxy. | 对 就是金科希 |
[19:01] | It’s Nancy. Jinxy was her slave name. | 是南希 金科希是她的奴隶名 |
[19:05] | Oh, Nancy, I missed you. | 南希 我想死你了 |
[19:08] | I missed you so much. | 我超级超级想你 |
[19:10] | What did you do? How did you get her? | 你做了什么 你是怎么拿到她的 |
[19:13] | Well, it was really complicated. | 情况有点复杂 |
[19:14] | I went to their apartment, and I said, | 我去他们家 跟他们说 |
[19:16] | “You don’t love that cat,” | “你们根本不爱那只猫” |
[19:17] | and they said, “You’re right. Take it.” | 于是他们说 “你说得对 送你吧” |
[19:22] | Oh, my God! | 天啊 |
[19:23] | Is this what happiness feels like? | 这就是幸福的感觉吗 |
[19:26] | So what made you change your mind? | 是什么让你改变了主意 |
[19:28] | Because two years ago I was outside your door, | 因为两年前 我也是在你家门外 |
[19:31] | saying, “Hello. Hello.” | 说着”哈喽 哈喽” |
[19:36] | And you let me in, and it changed my life. | 你让我进门 改变了我的生活 |
[19:38] | That’s kind of different, though, | 不过有点不一样啦 |
[19:40] | because I didn’t want to let you in, | 因为当时我并不想让你进来 |
[19:41] | and I did want to let the cat in. | 而我是真心想让喵星人进来 |
[19:44] | But you did let me in. | 但你还是让我进来了呀 |
[19:46] | You let me in, and you gave me food | 你放我进来 给我食物 |
[19:47] | and shelter and love. | 给我住处和爱 |
[19:49] | Not the way I wanted to give to the cat. | 我想给小喵喵的远不止这样 |
[19:52] | Max, are you trying to equate a person’s love | 麦克斯 你想把人的爱与对猫的爱 |
[19:54] | with a cat’s love? | 划上等号吗 |
[19:55] | Not really. | 其实不一样 |
[19:55] | A cat’s love is eternal. | 对猫的爱是永恒的 |
[19:58] | Hey, girls. | 姑娘们 |
[19:59] | I’m heading over to the bodega salad bar. | 我要去杂货店沙拉吧 |
[20:02] | They just added hot ribs and a sneeze guard. | 他们上新菜单了 有麻辣排骨和防鼻息食品罩 |
[20:04] | You need anything? | 你们俩需要点什么吗 |
[20:07] | Sophie, we got the cat back. | 苏菲 我们把喵星人带回来了 |
[20:08] | She was in a house where she wasn’t wanted. | 她的主人根本不想养她 |
[20:11] | Oh, yeah. | 是吗 |
[20:12] | That is so Nancy. | 跟南希的遭遇一样啊 |
[20:17] | Sophie, do you want to see the cat? | 苏菲 你想见那只猫吗 |
[20:20] | She’s in the apartment? | 她现在在你们家里呢 |
[20:25] | No, no, no. | 不 不 不 |
[20:27] | No, no. | 不要 |
[20:28] | I can’t see her right now! | 我现在不能见她 |
[20:30] | It’s too much! | 超出我的承受范围了 |
[20:32] | I’m happy for you, Nancy! | 南希 我为你感到高兴 |
[20:34] | But I can’t do this right now! | 但我死也不会跟你道歉的 |
[20:44] | Wait, where did the cat go? | 等下 猫咪去哪里了 |
[20:46] | Oh, no, Chestnut. | 天啊 栗宝 |
[20:48] | I left the back door open. | 我没关后门 |
[20:54] | Oh, my God. Look. | 天啊 快看 |
[20:55] | She’s on top of Chestnut. | 她躺在栗宝的背上 |
[20:57] | They like each other. | 他们喜欢彼此 |
[20:59] | Why wouldn’t they? | 肯定会喜欢啊 |
[21:00] | She’s a foxy redhead, | 她是性感的红法妞 |
[21:01] | and he’s a stud. | 而他是一头种马 |
[21:04] | You did the right thing. | 你做了件好事 |
[21:05] | Kitty, kitty. Kitty-kitty-kitty. | 喵喵 喵喵 喵喵喵喵喵喵 |
[21:08] | Why do I like that so much? | 我为什么这么喜欢这种感觉呀 |
[21:10] | ’cause something with boobs is touching you? | 因为被有咪咪的人碰了吗 |