| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Well, here it is. My last tip. | 老娘今晚最后一笔小费 |
| [00:04] | Only $2. | 只有两块钱 |
| [00:05] | And to think, I held in a fart for those cheap bastards. | 亏我之前还为了那些小气鬼憋住一个屁 |
| [00:09] | This night sucks. | 今晚烂死了 |
| [00:11] | We don’t even have enough to buy supplies for tomorrow. | 我们都没赚够明天蛋糕店的材料钱 |
| [00:13] | We’ll just have to go to that store where everything’s free. | 只能去那家所有商品皆免费的小店拿了 |
| [00:17] | Oh, good. They’re open. | 太好了 那店还没关门 |
| [00:20] | And we have to sneak all this stuff out. | 我们得偷偷把这些东西弄出去 |
| [00:22] | Han’s staying late to do inventory. | 阿憨今晚要留下清点库存 |
| [00:24] | Damn it, why does he always have to be so asian? | 靠 他有需要这么亚洲人吗 |
| [00:27] | Let’s see, what do we need for our cupcake shop? | 我们小蛋糕店需要哪些东西来着 |
| [00:28] | – Eggs, sugar. – A stripper pole? | -鸡蛋 糖 -脱衣舞钢管一根 |
| [00:31] | Do you want to make money or not? | 你到底想不想挣钱啊 |
| [00:34] | How are we gonna hide these eggs? | 我们该怎么偷带这些鸡蛋走啊 |
| [00:35] | You could put some of those “Grade A large” | 你可以把这些”A级大鸡蛋” |
| [00:37] | where there’s “Grade A itty-bitties.” | 藏进你的”A杯小奶罩”里 |
| [00:40] | Rude, but I don’t hate it. | 嘴贱 不过主意不错 |
| [00:43] | I can probably fit four to six in each. | 我估计一边可以塞四到六颗 |
| [00:45] | So positive! | 真积极正面 |
| [00:46] | I love that you’re a “cup’s half full” kind of person. | 我就爱你这样”杯”子半满的积极人士 |
| [00:54] | So come here often? | 常来光顾吗 |
| [00:57] | This is my first time. | 人家第一次来 |
| [00:59] | – Well, you’re very pretty. – Oh, thank you. | -你很漂亮哦 -谢谢夸奖 |
| [01:02] | Heads up. Han’s coming your way. | 小心啦 阿憨要过来了 |
| [01:04] | Should I fake a stroke? | 要我假装中风吗 |
| [01:06] | And P.S., if I don’t get up in three minutes, | 先说好 如果我三分钟后都没起身 |
| [01:08] | It’s a real one. | 那我就是真中风了 |
| [01:10] | No, I’ll deal with him. | 不用 我来搞定他 |
| [01:12] | You keep going. | 你继续塞 |
| [01:20] | Keep it up, and we’ll finally have an answer | 别停啊 你继续我们就能知道 |
| [01:21] | to the question “What comes first? | 是鸡先来到世上 |
| [01:24] | The chicken or the Oleg?” | 还是奥列格[蛋]先”来”啦 |
| [01:41] | Here you go. | 给 |
| [01:43] | I just found the greatest thing online. | 我刚在网上找到最棒的玩意了 |
| [01:45] | The ultrasound of the Kim and Kanye baby | 金与坎耶小孩的超声波照吗 |
| [01:46] | where someone photoshopped a “666” | 就是腹中婴儿小屁股被改图加上 |
| [01:48] | on its little baby butt? | 恶魔数字”666″的那张吗 |
| [01:51] | Wait, this kid’s half Kardashian. | 等等 那娃有卡戴珊的基因 |
| [01:53] | Its big baby butt. | 是大屁股被改图才对 |
| [01:54] | Wow, that baby’s already famous for doing nothing… | 哇 那孩子毛都不干就已经出名了 |
| [01:58] | Just like its mom. | 跟他娘一模一样啊 |
| [02:02] | No, what I found is a site where we can apply | 不 我是找到了一个我们可以申请 |
| [02:03] | for a small business grant. | 小企业生意拨款的网站 |
| [02:05] | There’s a couple of categories: women-owned business– | 里面有几个类别 比如女性专营企业 |
| [02:07] | No thanks. I’ve been to jail. | 不必了 我去过监狱 |
| [02:08] | I was already owned by a woman. | 已经”专属”过某个女性了 |
| [02:12] | There’s also a minority-owned category. | 也有一类是少数民族拥有啊 |
| [02:14] | You don’t know who your father is, | 你也不知道你的生父是谁 |
| [02:15] | and you do have an exotic look. | 你又有着异国风的外貌 |
| [02:17] | Any chance he could be native american? | 你生父有没有可能是印第安人呢 |
| [02:19] | Yes, in fact, I think his name was | 没错 他的名字还叫做 |
| [02:21] | Chief Running Away. | 逃跑酋长呢 |
| [02:24] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [02:24] | Maybe we don’t even need your father. | 你老爸这张牌都不见得需要用 |
| [02:26] | We are white, | 我们是白人 |
| [02:27] | which according to the last presidential election, | 根据上次总统大选时的数据 |
| [02:29] | is the new minority. | 白人现在算少数民族呢 |
| [02:31] | So now all we need is a letter of recommendation | 我们只需要找到一个同样开店的人 |
| [02:34] | from someone who owns another start-up business. | 来帮我们写封推荐信就行了 |
| [02:36] | I was thinking of a recommendation | 我想找糖果店老板 |
| [02:38] | from Candy Andy’s Sweets and Treats. | 糖果安迪帮忙写一封呢 |
| [02:40] | I’ve already written it, so he just has to sign it. | 信我写好了 他签个名就行了 |
| [02:42] | Will you ask Andy? I can’t, he’s my ex. | 你能代我问吗 我不行 他是我前任 |
| [02:44] | And I’m saving up my favor | 而且我想把请他帮忙的额度 |
| [02:45] | for a booty call on a cold night. | 留给寒冷夜晚找他打炮用 |
| [02:48] | I hate asking men for things. | 我最讨厌请[问]男人帮忙了 |
| [02:50] | Favors, last names, to stop. | 请他们帮忙 问他们姓啥 请他们”停下” |
| [02:55] | Excuse me, could I get some more sweet’n low? | 抱歉 能再给我几包低脂糖吗 |
| [02:57] | Why don’t you look in your purse? | 你干嘛不从你自己包里拿 |
| [02:58] | It’s where I saw you put them. | 我看你偷拿了几包放里面 |
| [03:00] | I’m so embarrassed. | 真是太不好意思了 |
| [03:01] | Don’t be. | 不必 |
| [03:02] | I wasn’t when I stole them last night. | 我昨晚偷它们的时候就没不好意思 |
| [03:06] | What did Andy say? | 安迪怎么说 |
| [03:07] | He’s gone. | 他不见了 |
| [03:08] | – For lunch? – Forever. | -暂离吃饭吗 -是永远走人 |
| [03:10] | The man is gone. | 他真的走了 |
| [03:14] | His store is empty. | 他的店都空了 |
| [03:16] | Oh, my God, this is so sad. | 天啊 感觉好伤心哦 |
| [03:18] | I know. There goes the candy. | 对啊 糖果飞了 |
| [03:22] | And my booty call. | 我的炮友也飞了 |
| [03:25] | – He didn’t even leave a note? – Or a Razzle? | -连张字条都没留吗 -也没留包口香糖吗 |
| [03:29] | Forget the candy. | 别想着糖了 |
| [03:30] | Are we not gonna talk about the fact | 我们不应该来谈谈 |
| [03:32] | that my ex-boyfriend left without so much as a peep? | 我的前男友不见最后一面就溜走的事吗 |
| [03:35] | Great. Now I want Peeps. | 这下好了 害我想吃棉花糖[看一眼] |
| [03:38] | Hey, Max. | 麦克斯 |
| [03:39] | Is today the day we’re gonna get married? | 今天有幸跟你结婚吗 |
| [03:41] | Sure, Amir. | 当然好啊 阿米尔 |
| [03:42] | ‘Cause my dream in life is to be detained | 因为我这辈子的梦想 |
| [03:44] | for four hours on our honeymoon flight. | 就是在度蜜月的班机上被扣留四小时 |
| [03:48] | Max, you do know I was born in this country, right? | 麦克斯 你知道我是在这国家土生土长的吧 |
| [03:51] | You were born here? How old are you? | 你在美国出生的啊 你几岁了 |
| [03:53] | About zero dark thirty? | 黑暗零点三十岁吗 |
| [03:57] | Yeah, you were born in a Walmart, right? | 你妈是在沃尔玛生的你 对吧 |
| [04:00] | Where do you think the expression | 不然你觉得人们常说的 |
| [04:01] | “Clean up on aisle 12” comes from? | “打扫一下第12排地板”是怎么来的 |
| [04:05] | Hey, Caroline, | 卡洛琳 |
| [04:06] | you bummed you drove your boyfriend out of town? | 你还为你吓跑你男朋友的事情泄气吗 |
| [04:07] | For the record, I did not chase Andy away. | 我得声明 我才没把他吓跑路了呢 |
| [04:10] | We ended our relationship well. | 我们是和平分手的 |
| [04:11] | Right, that’s why I helped him move out | 是啊 所以我才要在大半夜 |
| [04:13] | in the middle of the night. | 帮忙他搬家 |
| [04:15] | Man, you messed that up. | 你把人家玩坏了 |
| [04:16] | So self-involved. | 你这人太自我了 |
| [04:19] | Coming in a little hot, Amir. | 阿米尔 你炮火有点猛烈啊 |
| [04:20] | Yeah, guns ablazin’. If I was allowed to carry them. | 中东人不能带武器 不然我嘴炮扫死你 |
| [04:25] | Oh, Amir. You’re the bomb. | 阿米尔 你太酷了[你是炸弹] |
| [04:28] | Look at us. | 你瞧咱们 |
| [04:29] | We’re like Homeland, if it was a rom-com. | 我们就像是浪漫喜剧版的《国土安全》 |
| [04:37] | You don’t have to read it, Han. | 不用读啦 阿憨 |
| [04:38] | It’s just a standard letter of recommendation. | 只是一封标准的正常推荐信而已 |
| [04:40] | Don’t be a bitch. Just sign it. | 少唧唧歪歪 乖乖签字就对了 |
| [04:43] | I’m not comfortable putting my name | 没亲自读过的文件 |
| [04:45] | on a document I haven’t read. | 我没法放心签下名 |
| [04:46] | I understand, but don’t be a bitch. | 我懂 但你还是少唧唧歪歪 |
| [04:48] | Just sign it. | 乖乖签字就是了 |
| [04:50] | “Max’s homemade cupcakes is | “麦克斯自制小蛋糕是一个 |
| [04:52] | an up-and-coming powerhouse business.” | 蒸蒸日上 发展强劲的小生意” |
| [04:54] | I can’t sign this. | 我不能签这个 |
| [04:56] | This has more lies than my Okcupid profile. | 这信比我的约会网站个人资料还鬼扯 |
| [05:01] | Don’t be a bitch. Just sign it. | 少唧唧歪歪 快乖乖签字 |
| [05:03] | That one’s on me, girls. | 我也帮你们说一句 姑娘们 |
| [05:06] | If I sign this, it’s lying. | 我签了字 就是合伙骗人 |
| [05:08] | I could get deported. | 我可能会被遣送出境 |
| [05:09] | And I’m one home inspection away from a poodle adoption. | 我可是只差一次家访 就能领养贵宾狗了呢 |
| [05:13] | A poodle? That’s cool. | 贵宾狗啊 挺好的啊 |
| [05:14] | You can share sweaters. | 你们衣服能换着穿 |
| [05:17] | Hurry up, bitch. | 快点啦 叽歪弟 |
| [05:18] | The deadline to mail that is tonight. | 今晚之前得把那信寄出去 |
| [05:20] | Well, if you just wanted to steamroll someone, | 如果你们是想逼人签字 |
| [05:23] | why didn’t you get your boyfriend, Andy, to sign it? | 干嘛不去逼她男朋友安迪签字呢 |
| [05:25] | They split. | 他们分手了 |
| [05:26] | He left last night without a peep. | 他昨晚最后一面都没见就跑了 |
| [05:28] | Damn it, now I’m thinking about those Peeps again. | 靠 我又想起棉花糖[见一面]了 |
| [05:32] | Oh, I was worried you two wouldn’t make it. | 我早就担心你们俩会感情触礁了 |
| [05:33] | You always have your mind on business, | 你满脑子都是想着你的生意 |
| [05:36] | and Andy was such an easy spirit. | 而安迪又是个灵魂轻松的人 |
| [05:38] | I think you mean “free spirit.” | 你是想说灵魂向往自由吧 |
| [05:40] | Easy Spirit is a shoe worn by people | “灵魂轻松”是灵魂已死的人 |
| [05:42] | whose spirits have died. | 才会去穿的鞋子品牌 |
| [05:44] | I have two pairs. | 我有两双 |
| [05:46] | Okay, fine. Give it back. | 行 不签就还给我 |
| [05:47] | I’ll find someone else with a business. | 我找其他做生意的人吧 |
| [05:49] | What about Sophie? She owns a small business, | 请苏菲签如何 她有个小生意啊 |
| [05:52] | and she loves to give, | 又乐意为他人奉献 |
| [05:53] | not as much as she loves to receive. | 虽然她更爱收下我的”爱” |
| [05:57] | I’m not so sure Sophie’s cleaning business | 但我不确定苏菲的家政生意 |
| [05:59] | is totally, well, legal. | 是不是百分百合法呢 |
| [06:01] | I mean, when we worked for her, | 我们以前给她打过工 |
| [06:02] | on the memo line of our paycheck, | 我们薪水支票的备忘栏 |
| [06:03] | she wrote “Colonoscopy.” | 她写了”结肠镜检查”呢 |
| [06:06] | And for the record, Sophie’s cleaning business | 我替她声明 她的家政生意 |
| [06:08] | is totally legit. | 绝对是合法的 |
| [06:10] | Her organ-trading might not be. | 器官买卖的生意可能就不是了 |
| [06:14] | Forget it, Caroline. | 算了 卡洛琳 |
| [06:15] | We might deport you ourselves. | 我们亲自把他遣送出境算了 |
| [06:17] | All we need is a Fedex box. | 反正用个快递盒就够装了 |
| [06:21] | Um, Caroline. Come over here. | 卡洛琳 过来一下 |
| [06:24] | I think I can help you with that. | 我应该能够帮你哦 |
| [06:25] | Thanks, Earl, but you don’t have a small business. | 谢了 厄尔 但是你没有小生意啊 |
| [06:28] | The size of my business has never been in question. | 我裤裆里的”生意”从没有人怀疑过它小哦 |
| [06:35] | And I may not have a business, | 而我虽然没有什么小生意 |
| [06:37] | But… | 但… |
| [06:40] | Han Lee does. | 李阿憨有啊 |
| [06:44] | Max, look. Earl forged Han’s signature. | 麦克斯 你看 厄尔伪造了阿憨的签名 |
| [06:46] | That’s what his signature looks like. | 原来他的签名是这样啊 |
| [06:48] | When I forge it, I just draw a picture of Hello Kitty. | 我伪造他签名时 都是画个凯蒂猫而已 |
| [07:03] | You want to know your future? | 想知道你的未来吗 |
| [07:05] | – No, no thanks. – You sure? | -不必 谢了 -你确定吗 |
| [07:07] | I have a message about your love life. | 我有个关于你爱情的预言呢 |
| [07:10] | $10. | 十块钱 |
| [07:21] | Are you asleep? | 你在睡觉吗 |
| [07:22] | Max? Max, I really need to talk. | 麦克斯 我有话想跟你谈 |
| [07:27] | Oh, just come in and get it over with. | 直接进来发泄不就得了 |
| [07:29] | Everybody else does. | 其他人都这样 |
| [07:32] | Max, I’m sorry, but I really need to talk. | 抱歉 麦克斯 我真的想跟你谈一下 |
| [07:34] | I went to the fortune teller near the diner, | 我去了餐厅附近的算命店 |
| [07:36] | and she told me that I’d never find love in my life. | 她说我这辈子注定一生无爱 |
| [07:39] | Fortune-telling’s a scam. | 算命都是骗人的把戏 |
| [07:41] | “You’ll never find a man, your moon’s in Uranus, | “你的月亮与天王星相位 这辈子都没男人 |
| [07:43] | no man will ever be in Uranus.” | 天王星上本来就没男人” |
| [07:45] | I could’ve told you that the second day I met you. | 我认识你的第二天就能编这些给你听了 |
| [07:47] | Please, Max, just listen for five minutes. | 求你了 麦克斯 听我说五分钟就好 |
| [07:49] | Come over here. I’ll make you some tea. | 过来嘛 我给你泡杯茶 |
| [07:51] | Tea? Who am I, Pippa Middleton? | 还喝茶 你当我是凯特王妃她妹啊 |
| [07:54] | Toast me an eggo waffle and maybe I’m listening. | 给我烤个松饼吃吃 我就考虑听听 |
| [07:57] | Well, we were saving that waffle | 我们本来是要留到 |
| [07:58] | for a special occasion, but okay. | 特殊时刻才吃的呢 不过好吧 |
| [08:01] | Chestnut, we’re eating your birthday waffle now. | 栗宝 我们现在要吃掉你的生日松饼啦 |
| [08:04] | I don’t know why I’m pissing him off. | 真不知道我干嘛还要惹他生气 |
| [08:06] | he’s gonna be the only man in my life. | 他可能是我这辈子唯一的男人了 |
| [08:09] | I can’t believe you blew $10 on a psychic. | 我真不敢相信你花十块钱去找神婆 |
| [08:12] | Why didn’t you just buy a Skinnygirl margarita | 你就不能跟其他寂寞的白妞一样 |
| [08:14] | like all the other lonely white chicks? | 买瓶玛格丽塔借酒浇愁吗 |
| [08:17] | I spent $50. | 我花了50块 |
| [08:19] | I bought a crystal that protects me from bad juju. | 我还买了一块挡坏运的水晶[音似坏犹太人] |
| [08:22] | Hey! There’s no reason to get anti-semitic. | 你也不需要因此讨厌犹太人吧 |
| [08:26] | You spent money on crystal you can’t snort? | 你还花钱买不能吸食的水晶[冰毒] |
| [08:28] | What is wrong with you? | 你脑子是哪里有病啊 |
| [08:31] | I freaked out. I didn’t want it to be true. | 我吓到了嘛 不想要一生无爱 |
| [08:33] | Is it true, Max? | 会是真的吗 麦克斯 |
| [08:35] | Am I never gonna find love? | 我真的会一生无爱吗 |
| [08:36] | Was Andy my one chance? | 安迪是我唯一的希望吗 |
| [08:37] | Did I screw it up because I wanted success? | 我因为想成功而抛弃了唯一的爱吗 |
| [08:39] | Was everyone right? | 大家说的真的对吗 |
| [08:40] | That is a lot of questions for one waffle. | 就给一块松饼 也问太多问题了吧 |
| [08:45] | And where is that waffle? | 而且那块松饼呢 |
| [08:46] | You’re a bad waitress at home too. | 你在家也是个烂服务员 |
| [08:49] | Who could that be? | 这么晚 会是谁啊 |
| [08:50] | I don’t know. Let me consult the spirits. | 不知道 让我请示一下四方神灵 |
| [08:53] | Who is it? | 是谁啊 |
| [08:55] | It’s Sophie. | 是苏菲 |
| [08:59] | Yeah, it’s me, | 没错就是我 |
| [09:00] | The shady lady with the illegal business. | 有着非法生意的坏女人 |
| [09:04] | Yeah, and Caroline, you owe me an apology | 卡洛琳 你得给我道歉 |
| [09:07] | or I will take out these hoops, | 要不然我会摘下这耳环 |
| [09:08] | and we will get into it, girl. | 然后跟你大战一番 |
| [09:12] | Yeah, and I warn you, | 我警告你哦 |
| [09:14] | I did some extreme fighting in Warsaw. | 我在老家时 可是有不少极限战斗的经验 |
| [09:17] | Extreme fighting? That’s awesome. | 极限战斗 这么酷啊 |
| [09:19] | Yeah, they would throw a big hunk of cheese in a trough | 对啊 他们会把一大块起司丢饲料槽里 |
| [09:23] | and let all the village girls just go at it. | 村里的姑娘就会抢上去大打出手 |
| [09:27] | Sorry, Sophie. | 抱歉 苏菲 |
| [09:28] | It just seemed like a better business decision | 只是当时觉得伪造个签名 |
| [09:30] | to go with the forgery. | 会对我们生意比较好嘛 |
| [09:32] | What is that? | 那是什么 |
| [09:34] | Is that a waffle? | 是松饼吗 |
| [09:36] | Okay! You are forgiven. | 好吧 原谅你了 |
| [09:41] | Damn it. I didn’t even get a bite. | 靠 我连一口都没吃到 |
| [09:43] | I’m awake and sober for nothing. | 白起床跟忍着不喝酒了 |
| [09:46] | Sophie, do you believe in psychics? | 苏菲 你相信灵媒吗 |
| [09:48] | Oh, no. That’s all fake. | 才不信呢 那是骗人的 |
| [09:50] | You know, I knew a family of gypsy psychics | 我以前认识一个吉普赛灵媒家庭 |
| [09:53] | who couldn’t even predict | 但他们甚至预测不到 |
| [09:54] | that they would all die in a barn fire. | 他们会全家葬身火海 |
| [09:58] | Hey, girls. Sorry to interrupt, | 姑娘们 抱歉打扰 |
| [10:00] | but Sophie promised to rub antifungal cream | 苏菲之前答应我要帮我又黄又厚的脚趾甲 |
| [10:03] | on my thick, yellow toenails. | 擦灰指甲药膏呢 |
| [10:05] | Oleg, come over here. | 奥列格过来吧 |
| [10:07] | I’ll do it in between bites. | 我边吃边帮你擦 |
| [10:11] | This is what you’re afraid you’re missing? | 你害怕得不到的就是这个吗 |
| [10:13] | Because this is a relationship. | 这就是爱情啊 |
| [10:16] | Seriously, Max. | 麦克斯 我是认真的 |
| [10:17] | That’s something I really want. | 我真的想要有个爱人 |
| [10:18] | And now I’m never gonna have it. | 但看来我这辈子是无缘了 |
| [10:21] | Get in there, baby. I have two feet. | 你也来吧 宝贝 我有两只脚呢 |
| [10:27] | Interesting. | 有意思 |
| [10:28] | She’s a psychic, but she needs a bell | 神婆居然需要在门上挂个铃铛 |
| [10:30] | to tell her someone’s here. | 才能知道有人来了 |
| [10:33] | Max, please don’t make me do this. | 麦克斯 不要逼我来嘛 |
| [10:35] | I don’t want to hear any more bad things. | 我不想再听到任何坏事了 |
| [10:37] | Nothing bad’s gonna happen. | 不会发生什么坏事啦 |
| [10:39] | She’s gonna tell you | 她会告诉你 |
| [10:40] | you have a bright, love-filled future | 你有一个充满爱的光明未来 |
| [10:42] | Or I’m gonna kick her in the crystal balls. | 不然我会狠狠踹她的水晶”球” |
| [10:46] | Hello, girls. | 你们好 姑娘们 |
| [10:47] | I’ll tell you your future as soon as I finish eating. | 我一吃完饭就给你们预测未来 |
| [10:49] | It’ll only take a minute. | 几分钟就好 |
| [10:51] | Since I quit smoking, I eat like a prisoner. | 戒烟之后 我就像饿死鬼投胎一样 |
| [10:54] | Come, sit, ruminate on your wishes and dreams. | 过来坐下 冥思下自己的愿望和梦想 |
| [10:58] | Well, my wish is that you give my friend her money back, | 我的愿望是 你能把钱还给我的朋友 |
| [11:01] | and my dream is that | 我的梦想是 |
| [11:02] | I’m a backup dancer for Missy Elliott. | 成为梅西·埃丽奥特的伴舞员 |
| [11:06] | Great. A wise-ass. | 很好 自作聪明的人 |
| [11:09] | Do you want to know your future or not? | 你们到底想不想知道自己的未来 |
| [11:11] | Um, you already told me my future. | 你已经告诉过我了 |
| [11:13] | That’s why we’re here. | 所以我们才来这里 |
| [11:14] | You said I’d never find love. | 你说我会一生无爱了 |
| [11:16] | When did I say that? | 我什么时候说的 |
| [11:18] | And you, tough guy, don’t say, | 还有你 小悍妞 千万不要说 |
| [11:19] | “Well, you’re the psychic.” | “你是神婆你会不知道吗” |
| [11:21] | Maybe she is a psychic, because I am a tough guy | 或许她真的是神婆 因为我的确是个悍妞 |
| [11:24] | and I was gonna say that. | 而且我也打算这么说 |
| [11:27] | You know, it’s hard to remember. | 我很难记住每个人 |
| [11:28] | I see a lot of sad, single girls. | 我一天见那么多可怜的单身妹 |
| [11:30] | But looking at you right now, | 但现在仔细看看你 |
| [11:32] | it makes sense. | 我的话也不无道理 |
| [11:34] | And here. | 给 |
| [11:35] | Take your phony crystal back. | 把你骗人的水晶拿回去 |
| [11:37] | And I’m not so sure this is a real crystal. | 我连这是不是真水晶都说不准 |
| [11:39] | It looks like one of those vegan deodorant things. | 这看起来像腋下除臭剂之类的 |
| [11:43] | And we want our money. | 把我们的钱还来 |
| [11:47] | Oh, okay. What just happened? | 好吧 你刚干嘛了 |
| [11:51] | I put a curse on you. | 我对你下诅咒了 |
| [11:54] | Max, you said nothing bad was gonna happen! | 麦克斯 你说过不会有坏事发生的 |
| [11:56] | Well, I’m not a psychic, and neither is she. | 我又不是神婆 不过她也不是 |
| [12:01] | Laugh, buster. | 尽管笑吧 小鬼 |
| [12:02] | Nothing in life will go your way, | 你人生的一切都会变得不如意 |
| [12:04] | and you will live under a dark cloud. | 你会永远被不祥的乌云笼罩着 |
| [12:07] | Will this dark cloud merge | 请问那朵乌云会跟 |
| [12:09] | with the current dark cloud above me | 现在笼罩在我上方的乌云合体吗 |
| [12:11] | or fly alongside of it? | 还是默默地飘在旁边 |
| [12:14] | Look, we don’t want to trouble you, | 我们也不想麻烦你 |
| [12:16] | but if you could remove the curse | 但如果你能高抬贵手解除诅咒 |
| [12:17] | and possibly that noodle on your blouse… | 再顺手把你衣服上的面也弄掉… |
| [12:25] | Oh, no. Did you just– | 不是吧 你刚是不是… |
| [12:26] | Cursed you too. | 顺便诅咒了你 |
| [12:28] | Tell you what. | 这样吧 |
| [12:29] | I’ll lift both curses for 50, | 50块就替你们解咒 |
| [12:31] | or else your whole life | 不然 妹子你不给钱 |
| [12:33] | will come crashing down all around you. | 人事物都掉下来 |
| [12:36] | The only way I’m giving a strange woman 50 bucks | 除非我在你店里给性器官穿了环 |
| [12:39] | is if I’m walking out of here with a genital piercing. | 否则我不会随便给陌生女人50块钱 |
| [12:44] | I do that as well. | 这个我也能做哦 |
| [12:50] | Don’t believe in curses, never have. | 不要相信什么诅咒 没有的事 |
| [12:53] | Not since Jennifer Martin told me | 当初詹妮弗·马丁还不是 |
| [12:54] | I was going to hell for sleeping with her boyfriend. | 因为我睡了她男人 而诅咒我下地狱 |
| [12:56] | But I didn’t. | 也没事啊 |
| [12:57] | I just ended up going to homecoming with him. | 最后还跟他一起出席了返校派对呢 |
| [12:59] | Max, we have to go back and pay her. | 麦克斯 我们必须回去付钱给她 |
| [13:01] | Our lives are hard enough. | 我们的人生已经够苦的了 |
| [13:02] | We don’t need things to come crashing down around us. | 身边不需要有人事物掉下来 |
| [13:05] | Relax. Nothing’s coming crashing down around us. | 放轻松 不会有任何东西掉下来的 |
| [13:08] | Don’t jump, Paul! | 别跳 保罗 |
| [13:10] | Paul, don’t jump! | 保罗 别跳 |
| [13:11] | Paul? Who’s paul? | 保罗 谁是保罗 |
| [13:14] | And what is he doing on the roof? | 他在楼顶干嘛啊 |
| [13:19] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [13:20] | That was paul’s life that came crashing down, | 是保罗这个人掉下来 |
| [13:23] | not ours. | 不是我们 |
| [13:29] | Max, I think we all know that | 麦克斯 我们都知道 |
| [13:31] | I’m a highly educated woman | 我是一名高学历女性 |
| [13:33] | who doesn’t really believe in curses, | 不相信诅咒这种事 |
| [13:34] | but I am putting every penny we make tonight | 但今晚我要把我们挣的每一分钱 |
| [13:36] | in the “lift the curse” Fund. | 都放进”解除诅咒”基金里 |
| [13:38] | And I’m gonna tell you one more time, | 我再跟你说最后一遍 |
| [13:40] | we’re not spending another 50 bucks | 我们不会为了某个愚蠢的诅咒 |
| [13:42] | on some stupid curse. | 再多花50块钱 |
| [13:43] | A body fell from the sky! | 一个人从天上掉下来啊 |
| [13:48] | Paul got a bad batch of shrooms. | 保罗倒霉吃到烂迷幻蘑菇 |
| [13:50] | It had nothing to do with the curse. | 跟诅咒一点关系都没有 |
| [13:52] | Everyone knows you don’t take psychedelics | 人人都知道不应该在二楼以上 |
| [13:54] | above the second floor. | 吃迷幻药 |
| [13:57] | Poor amateur bastard. | 业余的倒霉蛋 |
| [13:59] | And we need our money for essentials, like food | 我们需要钱来买必需品 比如食物 |
| [14:02] | and the penguin statue I saw at the dollar store. | 和我在一元店看见的那企鹅像 |
| [14:06] | The one that says “Chill out.” | 上面写着”冷爆了”[冷静] |
| [14:09] | So chill out. | 所以 冷静 |
| [14:12] | Caroline, I feel bad about | 卡洛琳 我觉得很内疚 |
| [14:13] | not signing your letter of recommendation. | 没帮在你的推荐信上签名 |
| [14:16] | So I wrote one myself and signed it. | 所以我自己写了一封 名字也签好了 |
| [14:18] | Here. | 给 |
| [14:19] | That’s so nice of you. | 你真好 |
| [14:21] | “The extremely hardworking Caroline Channing, | “工作超级努力的卡洛琳·钱宁 |
| [14:24] | who has devoted her life to business | 把人生全部奉献给事业 |
| [14:26] | and nothing and no one else.” | 心无旁骛 身无旁人” |
| [14:29] | Han, this is supposed to be about getting a loan, | 阿憨 这封信是要写苦苦求财 |
| [14:31] | not being alone. | 而不是写哭哭求爱 |
| [14:33] | I totally get it, girl. | 我完全明白 妹子 |
| [14:35] | I’m alone as well. | 我也形影自守 |
| [14:36] | We have our eyes on the prize, | 为求商场得意 努力不懈 |
| [14:37] | so our beds are empty. | 因此情场失意 床上空虚 |
| [14:39] | But occasionally, I pay for it. | 但我偶尔也会花钱找人陪睡哦 |
| [14:48] | Did Han just intimate | 刚才阿憨暗示了 |
| [14:50] | that he occasionally gets a hooker? | 他偶尔会花钱叫鸡吗 |
| [14:53] | Lucky bastard. | 这幸运的小淫棍 |
| [14:57] | He probably gets a child’s discount. | 估计他叫鸡还有儿童折扣呢 |
| [15:02] | Max, look. The future’s already happening. | 麦克斯 看 不幸的未来已经开始了 |
| [15:05] | Even in Han’s letter, I’m alone. | 连在阿憨的信里 我都是孤身一人 |
| [15:07] | The only chance for a love life I have now | 我现在最能接近爱情的方法 |
| [15:08] | is going halfsies on a hooker with Han. | 就是跟阿憨分摊招妓费用 |
| [15:11] | We have to reverse the curse now. | 我们必须得解除诅咒 |
| [15:13] | News flash: everybody is cursed. | 新闻快讯 人人都是被诅咒的倒霉蛋 |
| [15:16] | You lost your money last year. | 去年你万贯家财没了 |
| [15:18] | Literally nothing good has ever happened to me. | 严格说来 我身上从来没发生过好事 |
| [15:22] | Han hasn’t grown since the fourth grade. | 阿憨从四年级就没长过个子 |
| [15:26] | Oleg’s toenails look like Fritos. | 奥列格的脚趾甲看起来像薯片 |
| [15:30] | And Earl was born black | 厄尔生在美国史上 |
| [15:31] | at the eighth or ninth-worst time | 黑人最惨时代中 |
| [15:33] | to be a black man in America. | 排行第八或第九的年代 |
| [15:36] | Look around, it’s the valley of the damned. | 你看清楚吧 这里就是诅咒之谷 |
| [15:39] | Name one person who isn’t cursed. | 你举出一个没被诅咒的人啊 |
| [15:42] | Hey, guys! | 伙计们 |
| [15:43] | I just found a $100 bill on the sidewalk! | 我刚在人行道上捡到100块 |
| [15:47] | Drinks for everyone! | 我请所有人喝酒 |
| [15:49] | Max, pop open the fancy brandy. | 麦克斯 把那瓶高级白兰地打开 |
| [15:52] | “Fancy brandy” is gonna be my stripper name | 你要是同意让我在店里装根钢管 |
| [15:54] | if you ever let me put in that pole. | “高级白兰地”就会是我的艺名哦 |
| [15:56] | Sophie, guess what? | 苏菲 跟你说哦 |
| [15:57] | We went back to that psychic to complain, | 我们回灵媒那控诉她 |
| [15:59] | and she put a curse on us. | 结果她对我们俩下诅咒了 |
| [16:01] | Oh. You’re cursed? | 你们俩被诅咒啦 |
| [16:15] | But it’s stupid, like you said, right? | 但就像你说的 白痴才信 对吧 |
| [16:19] | Yeah, yeah. That’s stupid. | 对对 白痴才信 |
| [16:22] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [16:24] | Did she mention me? | 她有提到我的名字吗 |
| [16:28] | No. | 没啦 |
| [16:30] | She just cursed us and said | 她只是对我们下咒 然后说 |
| [16:31] | our whole lives would come crashing down around us. | 不给钱 我们周围的人事物都会掉下来 |
| [16:43] | and 30, 40, 50. | 30 40 50块 |
| [16:48] | The curse is lifted. | 诅咒解除了 |
| [16:50] | Oh, I don’t think you got me. What about my curse? | 你好像没弄到我 那我的诅咒呢 |
| [16:55] | Talk about phoning it in. | 做戏做全套 |
| [16:57] | Couldn’t you wave a feather or spin your head | 你不能挥舞个羽毛还是转转头 |
| [16:59] | or throw up or something? | 甚至是呕吐一下之类吗 |
| [17:01] | That’s extra. | 那要额外收费 |
| [17:04] | You know what? I’m in a good mood tonight. | 其实呢 我今晚心情很不错 |
| [17:06] | I got through the whole day on 15 cigarettes | 我今天只抽了15根烟 |
| [17:09] | and one sheet cake. | 吃了一整个大蛋糕就满足了 |
| [17:10] | I’m gonna give tough guy a free reading here. | 我送一次免费塔罗算命给悍妞吧 |
| [17:15] | Oh, free, as in the $50 you just shook us down for? | 免费是指付50块后免花费吗 |
| [17:22] | Should never have quit. Okay. | 一开始就不应该试着戒烟 |
| [17:25] | Future coming right at you. | 你的未来马上就能算出 |
| [17:27] | I see that you will have a happy life. | 我看到了你会有个快乐人生 |
| [17:29] | Me, happy? | 我 快乐吗 |
| [17:32] | All right, get your hat, mother. We’re leaving. | 母亲 戴上帽子 我们可以走人了 |
| [17:33] | And I see a large sum of money coming your way. | 还有很大一笔钱将要入你手 |
| [17:37] | Over $10,000. | 一万元以上哦 |
| [17:39] | Max, it’s the grant. | 麦克斯 是那个拨款 |
| [17:41] | We applied for $12,000. Is that it? | 我们申请了一万二 是这个吗 |
| [17:43] | Sure. | 当然 |
| [17:46] | And in spite of your bad childhood… | 尽管你有个悲惨的童年 |
| [17:48] | She knew you had a bad childhood. | 她知道你有悲惨的童年耶 |
| [17:50] | Come on, every childhood is bad. | 拜托 谁的童年不悲惨 |
| [17:52] | You’re stupid. You can’t reach stuff. | 又小又笨 总够不着东西 |
| [17:54] | It’s rough. | 超悲催啊 |
| [17:56] | In spite of it, | 尽管如此 |
| [17:58] | I see great love and children in your future. | 我看到你的未来有爱人与儿女相伴 |
| [18:02] | Max. | 麦克斯 |
| [18:03] | Me? No, wait. | 我吗 等等 |
| [18:05] | You must be picking up on her vibes. | 你是不是接收到她的未来啦 |
| [18:07] | Check again. | 再检查一下 |
| [18:08] | No, great love and children | 没 就是你有爱人与儿女 |
| [18:11] | will be part of your future. | 在未来伴你左右 |
| [18:16] | She will die alone. | 她会孤独终老 |
| [18:18] | Okay, well, that’s all I can take. | 够了 我受不了了 |
| [18:20] | I’m not gonna sit here and wait for the other Paul to fall. | 我不要在这坐等下一个保罗掉下来 |
| [18:22] | – Let’s go, Max. -No, no, no, no. | -走吧 麦克斯 -别别别 |
| [18:24] | No, no. Wait. | 别走 等等 |
| [18:25] | She obviously got it wrong. Didn’t you? | 她绝对是算错了 对吧 |
| [18:30] | Nope. Still dying alone… | 没 她就是会孤独终老 |
| [18:33] | with nothing but her great success. | 但是会在事业上取得大成功 |
| [18:35] | I’m sorry, I’m sorry. What? | 抱歉 没听清 你再说一遍 |
| [18:37] | I see great success in your future. | 我看到了你的未来会有大成功 |
| [18:40] | You do? Oh, thank God. | 真的吗 谢天谢地 |
| [18:42] | I’m gonna have success? How big a success? | 我会功成名就吗 多成功啊 |
| [18:45] | Oh, honey, it’s so big, | 亲爱的 超级成功 |
| [18:46] | you won’t even know you’re alone. | 成功到你都意识不到自己有多孤独 |
| [18:54] | All right, go. | 好啦 你们走吧 |
| [18:55] | May you live a long and healthy life. | 祝你们长命百岁 一生健康 |
| [18:58] | And put on your hat and gloves. | 记得带上帽子手套 |
| [19:00] | I’m predicting snow. | 我预测要下雪了 |
| [19:07] | It’s not going to snow. | 才不会下雪呢 |
| [19:09] | At most, it’s gonna rain 30-year-old dudes. | 顶多也就是30岁男人们如雨坠落 |
| [19:12] | Maybe she isn’t so psychic. | 她也不是多灵嘛 |
| [19:14] | Stop fighting it, Max. | 不要不信邪了 麦克斯 |
| [19:15] | You’re gonna find love and be happy, | 你会找到爱人然后过得开心 |
| [19:17] | and I’m gonna be successful. | 而我会超级成功 |
| [19:19] | You hear that, New York? | 你听到了吗 纽约 |
| [19:20] | I’m gonna be successful and alone! | 我将要功成名就 然后孤独终老 |
| [19:24] | And robbed and raped if you keep calling that out. | 你再喊 就要被人先抢后奸了 |
| [19:27] | And it all started when I dropped | 而成功的就是从我把 |
| [19:28] | that grant application into that mailbox | 拨款申请表投入 |
| [19:31] | that those guys are unbolting and taking away. | 那正被拆除带走的邮筒开始的 |
| [19:33] | What’s going on? | 怎么回事 |
| [19:35] | It’s called emails. | 听过电邮吗 |
| [19:36] | We’re getting rid of this. No one mails anything anymore. | 我们要把邮筒拆了 现在都没人寄信了 |
| [19:39] | Yes, they do. I did yesterday. | 有啊 我昨天才投进去呢 |
| [19:41] | And our $12,000 depends on it. | 我们的一万二就靠那封信了 |
| [19:43] | Sorry, doll. | 抱歉啦 美女 |
| [19:45] | This box has been out of commission for a week. | 这邮筒已经除役一周了呢 |
| [19:47] | According to a psychic, her box is gonna be | 而根据神婆说的 她下面的”邮筒” |
| [19:49] | out of commission forever. | 将”除役”一辈子呢 |
| [19:50] | We had to tell him. | 这必须得跟他们说啊 |
| [19:52] | You expect me to lie to a city employee? | 你想我骗政府公仆吗 |
| [19:55] | So I guess we’re not getting that grant. | 看来我们是得不到那笔拨款了 |
| [19:58] | The psychic was wrong. | 那灵媒说错了 |
| [20:00] | Maybe nothing she said is gonna come true. | 她说的估计没一样会实现 |
| [20:02] | I told you, it’s a scam. | 我都说了 那是骗人的 |
| [20:06] | Max, look. | 麦克斯 你瞧 |
| [20:08] | It’s snowing. | 下雪了 |
| [20:09] | And she predicted snow. | 她预测会下雪呢 |
| [20:11] | Oh, crap! Am I gonna have kids? | 妈的 我会有小孩啊 |
| [20:15] | So she was right on snow, but not on the money. | 她雪预测对了 但钱却没有 |
| [20:18] | So what is it? | 这样怎么算啊 |
| [20:19] | Am I or am I not gonna die old and alone? | 我到底会还是不会孤独终老啊 |
| [20:22] | Why are we even talking about this? | 我们谈这个干嘛啊 |
| [20:24] | We’re probably not gonna make it through the winter. | 我们都不知道活不活得过这冬天 |
| [20:28] | if you die first, | 对了 如果你先死了 |
| [20:30] | I am totally eating you. | 我绝对会吃你哦 |
| [20:32] | Oh. I know. | 我知道你会的 |
| [20:35] | And besides, | 而且 |
| [20:36] | no one person can get it all. | 没人能鱼与熊掌兼得啦 |
| [20:38] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [20:39] | No one person can, but what about two? | 一个人不行 那两个人呢 |
| [20:42] | You’ll have the love and the kids | 你有爱人与孩子 |
| [20:44] | and I’ll have success. | 而我有成功 |
| [20:45] | Maybe we can share, like we share our tips | 我们可以分享啊 就像我们现在分小费 |
| [20:47] | or that wheat thin we found in your pillowcase. | 或像我们分享你枕套里发现的饼干一样 |
| [20:50] | Are you asking to bang my great love? | 你是想跟我以后的爱人上床吗 |
| [20:52] | Which is fine with me, becaue I’m already bored | 我是无所谓啦 我到时肯定也是腻了他 |
| [20:54] | and sleeping with his poker buddy. | 然后开始睡他的牌友 |
| [20:57] | In fact, let’s switch. | 这样吧 我们交换 |
| [20:58] | You can have my great love, and I’ll die alone. | 你可以拿走我的爱人 让我来孤独终老 |
| [21:01] | Max, you don’t want to die alone. | 麦克斯 你不会想孤独终老的 |
| [21:03] | I am dying to die alone. | 我但求孤独一死啊 |