| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | – Can I get another refill? – Yes. | -我能再续一杯吗 -行 |
| [00:04] | Can I get an explanation of why you’re wearing overalls | 那我能知道为什么这附近没有牲畜 |
| [00:06] | when there are no goats around? | 你却穿着那乡下工装裤吗 |
| [00:11] | Oh, wait… | 哎哟 还不止 |
| [00:13] | Now he’s drumming. | 他还打起鼓来了 |
| [00:14] | Overalls, free coffee refills, and drumming. | 乡下工装裤 蹭免费续杯 还敲敲打打 |
| [00:17] | We can stop looking. | 众里寻他千百度 |
| [00:18] | We found the world’s most annoying hipster. | 全世界最惹人厌的嬉皮士就在本店椅子处 |
| [00:21] | Max, this isn’t a diner | 麦克斯 这不是阿憨餐厅 |
| [00:22] | where everything comes with attitude and ecoli. | 能随便有恶劣态度与大肠杆菌 |
| [00:25] | This is the cupcake shop. | 这里是小蛋糕店 |
| [00:27] | You own this place. | 你是这里的老板呢 |
| [00:28] | Ugh, success really cuts your balls off! | 成功的代价就是得当孙子[被切蛋蛋]啊 |
| [00:36] | We get it. Your tribe’s in trouble. | 我们懂了 你部落有麻烦是吧 |
| [00:40] | Hey, she’s kidding. | 她开玩笑而已啦 |
| [00:41] | Just help yourself to a fresh mocha almond refill. | 欢迎去续杯您的杏仁摩卡 |
| [00:44] | And by the way, sick beats. | 对了 你节奏超摇摆啊 |
| [00:48] | You threw him a peace sign? | 你还给他比划个和平手势啊 |
| [00:50] | What are you, a japanese teenager? | 你以为你谁啊 小日本青年咩 |
| [00:53] | It’s a gesture of goodwill. | 只是表达友善的手势嘛 |
| [00:54] | Okay, but if I see you doing an open heart, | 行 但你要让我看到你用手比心 |
| [00:57] | I will kill you. | 老娘一定杀了你 |
| [01:16] | Hey, there’s Andy. | 是安迪呢 |
| [01:19] | I don’t want him to see me. | 我不想他看到我 |
| [01:21] | Did you just openly wave to my ex-boyfriend? | 你就这么大喇喇地跟我前男友打招呼吗 |
| [01:24] | Yeah, I always wave at him. | 对啊 我每次都会打招呼 |
| [01:26] | He didn’t die just because | 他又没因为 |
| [01:27] | you stopped letting him touch your boobies. | 你不给他摸奶就变成死人 |
| [01:30] | Well, I don’t wave to the guy at the record shop | 但我就不会跟你睡过的唱片行店员 |
| [01:33] | that you had sex with. | 打招呼啊 |
| [01:34] | I had sex with the guy at the record shop? | 我有睡过那唱片行店员啊 |
| [01:38] | I should keep a diary. | 我真应该写日记记录下 |
| [01:40] | Oh, God, he’s coming back. | 天啊 他要折回来了 |
| [01:42] | See what you started with your wave? | 瞧你手贱惹来的事 |
| [01:43] | I’m sorry. My hand is friendly. | 抱歉 我的手超友善啊 |
| [01:46] | Ask any guy in high school. | 跟我”有过一手”的高中男同学都知道 |
| [01:49] | I was gonna try and sneak by, | 我本来是想偷偷溜来的 |
| [01:50] | but that just seemed so juvenile, | 不过那样太幼稚了 |
| [01:52] | so here, “Do you guys still like me? | 所以呢 “你们还喜欢我吗” |
| [01:55] | Check ‘yes’ or ‘no.'” | 请勾选是或否 |
| [01:59] | So how’s she doing? | 她还好吗 |
| [02:00] | – She’s good. – Really? | -很好啦 -真的吗 |
| [02:02] | Oh, by the way, the guy at the record store says hi. | 对了 唱片行那男的让我替他问好 |
| [02:06] | Well, you tell him I said, “who are you?” | 那你替我问他 “你是哪根葱啊” |
| [02:12] | And I also came in because I wanted to make sure | 我来还有另一个原因呢 麦克斯 |
| [02:13] | everything’s cool with you and me, Max. | 我想确认我们俩友谊不变 |
| [02:15] | I mean, you haven’t texted me a pic | 你已经有48小时 |
| [02:16] | of an unlikely animal friendship in, like, 48 hours. | 没有发给我非比寻常的动物友情图了 |
| [02:19] | Don’t worry, we’re cool. | 别担心 我们友谊不变 |
| [02:20] | I just haven’t been able to top the picture I sent | 我只是还没找到能赢过 |
| [02:21] | of the monkey tickling a parrot. | 猴子挠鹦鹉的新图而已 |
| [02:24] | I get it. You have high standards. | 我明白 你的标准超高 |
| [02:26] | Whereas, me, I see a black dog spooning a brown dog, | 而我是只要看到一只黑狗抱着一只棕狗 |
| [02:28] | and I pull the trigger. | 就达到我标准了 |
| [02:30] | Well, save that amateur crap for your mom, | 那种低档烂图留给你娘看吧 |
| [02:32] | perhaps with an aunt and uncle cc. | 说不定再副本抄送叔叔阿姨 |
| [02:34] | Ha, that is so me. | 完全就是我会干的事 |
| [02:36] | Well, sir, you have raised the bar. | 大师 你把标准拉高了 |
| [02:38] | I look forward to our next freaky/adorable animal pic. | 我很期待下一张怪异又有爱的动物图哦 |
| [02:43] | Well, are you thinking what I’m thinking? | 你也在想我想着的事吗 |
| [02:45] | Since we broke up, he got fat. | 我跟他分手后 他变胖了 |
| [02:49] | It’s only been four days. | 你们才分手四天好吗 |
| [02:52] | Wynonna Judd gets fat in an hour. | 薇诺娜·贾德一小时就能胖呢 |
| [02:55] | I’m too exhausted to even think about Andy. | 我已经累到没力气想他的事了 |
| [02:57] | Let’s just change and get to the diner. | 我们赶紧换衣服去餐厅吧 |
| [02:59] | Look, all we have to do is make it through eight more hours, | 我们只需要再坚持个八小时 |
| [03:02] | and then we can get a good night’s sleep. | 我们就能回家睡大觉了 |
| [03:06] | Max, you’re taking your pants off in public! | 麦克斯 你居然在公众场合脱裤子 |
| [03:08] | Oh, my God! | 我的天啊 |
| [03:10] | I’m so tired, I forgot where I was! | 我太累了 都忘了我在哪 |
| [03:14] | They’re halfway down. What do I do? | 裤子都脱一半了 我该怎么办 |
| [03:17] | I’m too tired to make the call. | 我累到没力气决定了 |
| [03:24] | And I’ll have the BLT with the french fries. | 来一份培根生菜三明治加薯条 |
| [03:27] | Miss? I think our waitress is asleep. | 小姐 我们的服务员好像睡着了 |
| [03:31] | Yeah, she’s tired. We haven’t slept a lot lately. | 是啊 她很累 我们最近很缺觉 |
| [03:33] | When she wakes up, she’ll take your order. | 等她醒了 就会帮你们点单 |
| [03:35] | – But we’re really hungry… – Leave her alone! | -但我们已经很饿了 -少烦她 |
| [03:37] | So I come to your job and wake you up? | 我有在你上班时去叫醒过你吗 |
| [03:41] | Hi, can I take your order? | 您好 准备好点单了吗 |
| [03:43] | I can see how tired you are, Max. | 麦克斯 我看得出你有多累 |
| [03:45] | and if I could turn the clock back to ’75, | 如果我能把时光倒回75那会儿 |
| [03:48] | I’d help you out with a nice bump of cocaine. | 我肯定会帮你搞点毒品助眠 |
| [03:51] | But I don’t do that anymore. | 但我已经金盆洗手了 |
| [03:53] | Earl, you quit coke in 1975? | 厄尔 你1975年就戒毒啦 |
| [03:56] | No, when I was 75, last year. | 不 是去年 我75岁那会 |
| [03:59] | It just felt like time. | 岁月不饶人啊 |
| [04:03] | Now all I can give you is a nice bump of this. | 现在我只能给你击拳鼓舞士气了 |
| [04:07] | Max, I need you to explain something to me | 麦克斯 有件事我想你解释一下 |
| [04:09] | ’cause I can’t figure it out. | 我实在百思不得其解啊 |
| [04:10] | That’s hard to believe, since you’re 90% head. | 你占据身体9成比例的大头 居然也想不出吗 |
| [04:14] | It’s not a laughing matter, Max. | 这事不好笑好吗 麦克斯 |
| [04:16] | I broke my mother’s pelvis coming out. | 当年我出世 我妈骨盆都裂了 |
| [04:22] | At least you finally came out. | 千呼万唤始出世[出柜]啊 |
| [04:28] | Oh, so you’re awake enough to ridicule the boss, | 所以你够精神吐槽你老板 |
| [04:30] | but not awake enough to wait on tables. | 可是不够精神去端菜点单吗 |
| [04:32] | Exactly. See, there’s that big head working. | 没错 你的大脑袋还是有用的嘛 |
| [04:36] | And don’t exaggerate. | 而且别小题大做好吗 |
| [04:37] | Caroline and I are doing a great job. | 卡洛琳跟我干活可好了 |
| [04:39] | – Wake up. – Hi, can I take your order? | -醒醒 -您好 准备好点单了吗 |
| [04:43] | All I know is if I was doing my job | 我只知道如果我干活像 |
| [04:45] | as bad as you two tonight, | 你俩今晚这么烂的话 |
| [04:47] | I’d take my own life. | 我早自尽去了 |
| [04:48] | That’s not off the table. | 你还是有机会的 |
| [04:52] | Come on, Han, cut us a break. | 行啦 阿憨 放我们一马吧 |
| [04:53] | We’re working two jobs, we got two hours of sleep. | 我们有两份工 一天只能睡两小时 |
| [04:55] | We just want to get home and climb into bed. | 我们只想回家睡大觉 |
| [04:58] | You’re sleeping together? | 你们睡一起吗 |
| [05:01] | I mean, it’s been a “will they or won’t they” since they met. | 同睡分睡的问题 从你们一相见就困扰着我 |
| [05:07] | Hi, everybody. Sophie’s here! | 各位乡亲 苏菲驾到啦 |
| [05:10] | And look at my new coat. It’s double-breasted. | 瞧我的新狐皮大衣 是双巨乳[双排扣]呢 |
| [05:15] | Pretty nice, huh? | 很不错吧 |
| [05:16] | It was a gift from me. | 是我送的礼物呢 |
| [05:18] | It’s the only thing he ever gave me | 这是他送我的东西里 |
| [05:19] | that didn’t threaten my reproductive health. | 唯一不会损坏到我生育能力的东西 |
| [05:24] | Think that fox took its own life | 我觉得那只狐狸在知道 |
| [05:25] | when it saw what kind of coat it was gonna be on. | 自己会被做成什么大衣后 甘愿自尽的 |
| [05:28] | What is the occasion? | 他为什么会送你这个 |
| [05:30] | What is the occasion? | 什么为什么 |
| [05:32] | I’m hot and it’s cold. | 姐姐火辣 天气寒冷 |
| [05:35] | And it’s also the anniversary of the first time | 而且还是我跟奥列格首次玩 |
| [05:37] | Oleg and I 70ed. | 70式的纪念日 |
| [05:40] | The way I do it, it’s one more than 69. | 哥哥”功夫”好 “69”升华变70 |
| [05:49] | Max, I just hung up from a very panicked phone call, | 麦克斯 我刚挂了一通超让人恐慌的电话 |
| [05:51] | and you’ll never believe what happened. | 你绝对不敢相信电话中说的事 |
| [05:53] | The guy from the record store called to say | 唱片行那男的打给你 告诉你 |
| [05:55] | I have super gonorrhea? | 我有超级淋病[新型性病]吗 |
| [05:59] | You actually think a guy that you don’t even remember | 你真觉得一个被你”睡”过就忘了的男人 |
| [06:01] | called to tell me that you have super gonorrhea? | 会打来告诉我 你有超级淋病吗 |
| [06:06] | Yes, that’s how tired I am. | 对啊 我累到真这么觉得 |
| [06:08] | Are you gonna make me wait forever? | 你是还要让我等多久啊 |
| [06:10] | Do I have it or not? | 我到底有没得病 |
| [06:11] | It’s not super gonorrhea, but it is super-bad news. | 才不是超级淋病 只是个超级坏消息而已 |
| [06:15] | This woman just called to confirm her order | 这女人刚打来跟我确认她订的 |
| [06:17] | for 1,000 cupcakes for tomorrow. | 明天要的一千个小蛋糕 |
| [06:19] | I’ve been so tired, I completely forgot. | 我最近太累 完全忘了这事 |
| [06:21] | I’d rather have super gonorrhea! | 我还宁愿得了超级淋病呢 |
| [06:25] | Are you insane? | 你疯啦 |
| [06:26] | We can’t do 1,000 cupcakes by tomorrow. | 我们哪可能明天前做好啊 |
| [06:28] | We have to do it. | 不行也得行 |
| [06:29] | It’ll ruin our reputation if we don’t. | 不然我们的商誉就付之一炬了 |
| [06:31] | I know we’re tired, but if we stay up all night, | 我知道我们都累翻了 但只要再撑一晚 |
| [06:33] | we’ll have $4,000 by tomorrow at 10:00 A.M. | 明早10AM我们就能有四千块入袋呢 |
| [06:36] | They have to be done by 10:00 A.M.? | 还得是10AM就做好啊 |
| [06:38] | I’m so tired, remind me- is A.M. the morning one? | 我累得脑子不转了 AM是指上午吗 |
| [06:42] | We can’t do it. It’s impossible. | 我们做不了 不可能做到 |
| [06:44] | My brain’s too foggy to crunch the numbers, | 我现在脑子一团浆糊 不会算数了 |
| [06:46] | but I’m sure it’s doable if we leave right now. | 但如果现在开溜 明早一定能完工 |
| [06:48] | We’re in the middle of waiting tables. | 我们服务员的工作还没结束呢 |
| [06:50] | Well, we’ll just have to come up with an excuse. | 那我们只好找理由翘班啦 |
| [06:52] | Give me your hand, bend over, and pretend to be sick. | 把手给我 弯下腰 装病 |
| [06:55] | It’ll work. I’ve used this to get out of eight jobs, | 肯定能行 我用来翘过八个工作的班 |
| [06:57] | six final exams, and one wedding. | 六次期末考 以及一次婚礼 |
| [07:02] | Han, we have an emergency. Caroline’s sick. | 阿憨 有紧急病号 卡洛琳病了 |
| [07:04] | She’s so sick, she can’t even stand up. | 病得很严重 站都站不稳了 |
| [07:05] | We won’t be able to stay and finish our shift. | 我们没办法留下来工作到打烊了 |
| [07:07] | We have to go right to the emergency room. | 我们得立刻去急诊室 |
| [07:11] | We don’t know what’s wrong with her, | 还不知道她是什么病 |
| [07:12] | but it’s coming out of both ends. | 但她上吐下泻的 |
| [07:13] | It might be super gonorrhea. Bye. | 说不定会是超级淋病呢 再见 |
| [07:20] | That’s so unfortunate. | 真是太不幸了 |
| [07:22] | And on the night they were finally gonna do it. | 她们本来今晚终于要”合体”了呢 |
| [07:35] | Whoa, those are some big-ass coffees! | 哇靠 这杯咖啡大得吓人啊 |
| [07:37] | Yep, 64-ouncers. | 没错 1.9升杯呢 |
| [07:39] | They told me they’re bigger than the human stomach. | 他们说这杯容量比人体的胃还大 |
| [07:41] | And the coffee’s already working, | 这杯咖啡已经开始发挥作用了 |
| [07:43] | ’cause I figured out if it’s midnight now, | 因为我已经算出 现在是午夜 |
| [07:45] | we have to be done at 10:00 A.M. | 而我们得在明早10点交货 |
| [07:46] | so if it’s 40 minutes per batch from beginning to end, | 每一批小蛋糕从头到尾需要40分钟 |
| [07:48] | baking 4 dozen at a time, that’s 48 cupcakes | 一次能做四打 也就是48个小蛋糕 |
| [07:50] | Times 20 trips to the oven, which equals nine hours, | 乘以20批 刚好花费9小时 |
| [07:52] | which equals $4,000. | 就等于四千块入手 |
| [07:54] | Give me that. Let’s see if I can do math too. | 快让我喝两口 看我能不能学会算数 |
| [07:59] | Ask me something. | 出题考我吧 |
| [08:00] | 16 times 12. | 16乘12 |
| [08:02] | I’m just going to enjoy my coffee. | 我还是乖乖享受我的咖啡就好 |
| [08:04] | You enjoy, I’ll preheat the oven. | 你慢慢享用 我去预热烤箱 |
| [08:06] | What’s the temp? 325. | 要几度 162摄氏度 |
| [08:08] | There, that’s the coffee talking. | 喝了咖啡 再也不担心数学 |
| [08:13] | Andy just sent me a picture of a deer nursing a turtle. | 安迪发了我一张鹿给乌龟喂奶的图 |
| [08:17] | This is why they tell teen turtles | 这就是它们教导小乌龟 |
| [08:18] | never to post up on facebook. | 不要乱贴照片上脸书的原因 |
| [08:21] | Oh, I didn’t realize you two were still texting. | 我都不知道你俩还在互发短信呢 |
| [08:24] | Well, we’re mostly just sending pictures | 我们通常都只是在互发 |
| [08:25] | of unlikely animal friendships. | 非比寻常的动物友情图而已 |
| [08:27] | See, there’s a bear napping with a bunny. | 你看 这张是熊跟兔子一起睡午觉 |
| [08:29] | And what’s this? | 那这个呢 |
| [08:31] | It’s a labradoodle high-fiving a koi fish. | 是拉布拉多德利犬跟锦鲤击掌 |
| [08:33] | It’s pretty self-explanatory. | 不是挺明摆着的嘛 |
| [08:34] | No, underneath that. This– | 不 是图下的字 这个 |
| [08:36] | “How’s Caroline?” | “卡洛琳还好吗” |
| [08:38] | I thought this was just an unlikely animal friendship. | 不是只是”非比寻常动物友情图之友”吗 |
| [08:40] | It is, mostly, but every other text, | 通常都是啊 但有些短信 |
| [08:42] | I get the idea that maybe he’s not over you. | 让我觉得他还没放下你呢 |
| [08:45] | He’s the one who broke up with me. | 是他甩了我好吗 |
| [08:47] | Well, maybe he regrets it. | 可能他后悔呢 |
| [08:49] | Maybe you two are like Chris Brown and Rihanna, | 你们可能就像克里斯小子与蕾哈娜啊 |
| [08:52] | minus the punching and the duet. | 少了拳打脚踢与合唱版的 |
| [08:55] | I’m kind of surprised. | 其实我挺讶异的 |
| [08:56] | I thought you guys were good together. | 我觉得你们俩很配呢 |
| [08:58] | Andy is great. And on the surface, | 安迪很好 而平常呢 |
| [09:01] | he was there for me and very supportive. | 他也总是守护我 支持我 |
| [09:02] | But then he kind of got fed up | 但后来他有点受不了 |
| [09:04] | when it was so much about me and my career. | 我太注重自己与事业的这件事 |
| [09:06] | And when push came to shove, | 直到最后 悲剧发生 |
| [09:07] | he felt like he had to pull away for his own well-being. | 他为了自己着想 觉得该放下这段感情 |
| [09:11] | Oh, my God, we are Rihanna and Chris Brown! | 天啊 我们还真是蕾哈娜与克里斯小子 |
| [09:14] | But I’m Chris Brown. | 而我就是克里斯小子 |
| [09:16] | Speaking of Chris Brown, | 说到克里斯小子 |
| [09:19] | I’m gonna start to batter. | 我要开始搅拌[痛打]啦 |
| [09:21] | How’s that stove? | 烤箱怎么样了 |
| [09:23] | Warm, but it’s really wobbly. | 温度上来了 但它好摇晃啊 |
| [09:25] | Yeah, it wobbles, it smokes, | 它摇摇晃晃 又冒烟[抽烟] |
| [09:27] | and one time it burned me. | 有次还烫了我 |
| [09:28] | That’s why I nicknamed it “mom.” | 所以我给它的昵称是”老妈” |
| [09:30] | What is this wood thing under the leg? | 烤箱脚下的那块木头是什么 |
| [09:32] | It’s the shim. | 是垫木 |
| [09:34] | I think it’s making it worse. | 好像就是它让烤箱不稳的 |
| [09:35] | Don’t! That’s holding the leg up! | 别啊 那是来垫烤箱脚的 |
| [09:41] | But I guess you figured that out now. | 想必你现在明白它的作用了 |
| [09:44] | You heard me say it was the shim! | 我不都说是垫木了吗 |
| [09:46] | I don’t know what a shim is. | 我哪知道什么是垫木啊 |
| [09:48] | I thought it was just one of those things you say. | 我还以为又是个街头词汇之类的 |
| [09:51] | What did you think it could be? | 那垫木还能是啥意思啊 |
| [09:52] | I thought it was a cool word blend. | 我还以为是混词之类的啊 |
| [09:54] | You know, like she/him for a transsexual–a shim. | 称呼变性人用的”他与她”混合词[音似] |
| [09:58] | You thought a tiny transsexual was holding up our stove? | 你觉得有迷你变性人托着我们的炉子吗 |
| [10:02] | Yes, Max, I’m that tired. | 没错 我累到真这么以为 |
| [10:04] | I thought a tiny transsexual was holding up our stove. | 觉得有一个迷你变性人正托着我们的炉子 |
| [10:07] | This is a disaster, and our oven at home’s too small. | 这下悲剧了 我们家的烤箱也不够大 |
| [10:10] | What are we gonna do now? | 我们现在怎么办啊 |
| [10:13] | Oh, good, you’re still here. | 太好了 你们还在 |
| [10:14] | Don’t anybody leave. Our night just got worse. | 大家不许走 我们今晚倒霉透了 |
| [10:16] | Don’t come any closer, super gonorrhea! | 别再靠近我了 超级淋病妹 |
| [10:20] | I’m sorry to say we lied to get off our shift. | 对不起 我们为了翘班撒谎了 |
| [10:23] | But we have to bake 1,000 cupcakes by tomorrow, | 但我们得在明天前烤出一千个小蛋糕 |
| [10:25] | and our oven broke at the shop, and we need to use yours. | 但我们店里的烤箱坏了 得借用你的 |
| [10:28] | You lied to me, and now you want a favor? | 你撒谎骗我 现在还要我帮忙啊 |
| [10:30] | Yes. Han, we know it’s a big favor, | 是的 阿憨 我们请你帮这个大忙 |
| [10:32] | and it probably looks even bigger to you, | 在你眼中可能看起来显得更大 |
| [10:34] | but I’m sure you can see past our lie. | 但我相信你会原谅我们的谎 |
| [10:37] | And if you can’t, you can get up on that chair, | 如果你真不能原谅 那你就起立 |
| [10:39] | I could put you on our shoulders… | 我让你坐上我肩头玩… |
| [10:42] | Long story abnormally short, will you help us? | 长话超短说 你愿意帮忙吗 |
| [10:45] | Well, those 12 short jokes really primed me. | 你那无数矮子嘲讽惹到我了 |
| [10:49] | Fine, you can use the oven | 但好吧 你们用吧 |
| [10:50] | and any of the supplies you need. | 其他东西也都随你们用 |
| [10:52] | Thank you. We really need to fill this order. | 谢谢 小蛋糕真的非做成不可 |
| [10:54] | I’ll stay and help. | 我留下来帮手吧 |
| [10:55] | I also had something to fill, | 我也有些事得”做” |
| [10:57] | but I’ll just text Sophie and tell her I’m working. | 但我还是短信苏菲说我在工作吧 |
| [11:01] | I’ll help too. | 我也留下帮忙 |
| [11:02] | I can’t bake, but I can sit and lift the spirits. | 我不会烤东西 但坐着与鼓舞士气很在行 |
| [11:05] | as long as there are spirits. | 只要能有酒[士气]喝就行了 |
| [11:06] | It’s open bar, right, Han? | 无限畅饮对吧 阿憨 |
| [11:09] | Okay, I’m in too. | 好吧 我也加入 |
| [11:10] | Earl, make me a sea breeze, | 厄尔 给我来个海风鸡尾酒 |
| [11:12] | easy on the breezy. | 微风就好别太烈 |
| [11:13] | You know, because of my childhood, | 由于我的儿时阴影 |
| [11:16] | I won’t be able to process the fact | 我对你们现在 |
| [11:17] | that you’ve all just done something nice for me, | 留下来帮手的好心举动反应无能 |
| [11:19] | So if I run into you in ten years and start crying, | 所以如果十年后 我遇见你们时突然大哭 |
| [11:22] | this is what it’s about. | 哭的就是现在这一刻 |
| [11:31] | 900 and counting. Comin’ through. | 九百个小蛋糕 新鲜出炉 |
| [11:33] | Where do you want them? | 你想让我放哪 |
| [11:34] | Put ’em over here, next to the world’s slowest helper. | 这里 就放在史上动作最慢的帮手旁边 |
| [11:37] | It took you longer to make that one cupcake | 你裱一个小蛋糕的花比 |
| [11:39] | than it took James Cameron to make Avatar. | 詹姆斯·卡梅隆拍一部《阿凡达》还慢 |
| [11:43] | Well, I been doing this for two minutes, | 这活我干了两分钟 |
| [11:45] | and I have to say… | 不得不说… |
| [11:47] | not for me. | 不适合我 |
| [11:51] | But you know what is for me? | 你知道我适合干什么吗 |
| [11:53] | Another free cognac. | 再”干”一杯免费白兰地 |
| [11:55] | Ready for another sea breeze, Han? | 准备好再来一杯海风了吗 小憨憨 |
| [11:57] | Not before I get this right. | 等我弄好了再说 |
| [11:59] | And you don’t want to see me on two sea breezes. | 而且你不会想看到我两杯海风下肚后的样子 |
| [12:03] | What happens, you become Lindsay Lo-Han? | 会怎么样 你会变成”林赛·蠢憨”吗 |
| [12:07] | Okay, let me show you how it’s done. | 好吧 让我来教你怎么做 |
| [12:10] | There, you feel how that is, Han? | 这样 感觉到了吗 阿憨 |
| [12:12] | – Uh, yes. – Ok. | -有吧 -好的 |
| [12:15] | Now just squeeze that bag. | 现在用力挤那袋”奶油” |
| [12:18] | Good. Little harder. | 很好 再用力点 |
| [12:19] | Good. Little harder. | 很好 再用力点 |
| [12:24] | I’m humiliated. | 丢死人了 |
| [12:30] | It’s okay, Han, | 没关系啦 阿憨 |
| [12:31] | it happens to a lot of guys their first time. | 很多男人第一次都会这样 |
| [12:35] | Get yourself a tissue and clean yourself off, | 赶紧像别人那样 拿张纸巾 |
| [12:37] | like everyone else. | 擦擦干净 |
| [12:39] | Han, you’re off the bag. | 阿憨 这活你不用干了 |
| [12:40] | I’m moving you to batter. | 我要派你去搅面粉 |
| [12:42] | It’s not a demotion, it’s just that you stink at this. | 这不是降职 只是你裱花太烂 |
| [12:44] | I wanna give you something easier. | 我想让你去干点容易的 |
| [12:46] | Max, you just got that all over your apron. | 麦克斯 你的围裙弄脏了 |
| [12:48] | I’ll wipe it down. Mine’s a mess too. | 我来帮你擦干净 我的也脏了 |
| [12:50] | Ooh, pretty slick move. | 哇 动作真熟练 |
| [12:52] | You wanna try for my bra next? | 下次想试试脱我的胸罩吗 |
| [12:55] | Yeah, baby, | 好啊 宝贝 |
| [12:57] | I’ll take off your bra. | 我来帮你脱胸罩 |
| [13:01] | What the hell was that? | 那声音是怎么回事 |
| [13:03] | What? It’s my guy voice. | 怎么了 那是我的男声啊 |
| [13:06] | That’s your go-to guy voice? | 你学男声就是这样啊 |
| [13:09] | Is his identity being protected on Dateline? | 日界线新闻节目有保护你这变态的身份吗 |
| [13:12] | Well, what’s your guy voice like? | 那你的男声是什么样 |
| [13:14] | I’m doing it right now. | 就现在这样啊 |
| [13:21] | I’m gonna take a quick pee break. | 我要快快地去尿个尿 |
| [13:22] | I don’t know, I think you might be making the drinks too strong. | 不知道 或许是你调的酒酒劲太强了 |
| [13:26] | We’re not drunk, Oleg, just punchy. | 我们没有醉 奥列格 只是神志模糊而已 |
| [13:28] | I’m just drunk. | 我单纯是喝醉了 |
| [13:36] | It was so nice of everyone to stay that long. | 大家能留下来陪我们到这么晚 真好 |
| [13:38] | Everything’s baked except for those. | 除了这些 其他的都烤好了 |
| [13:40] | We’ve gonna make it, Max. | 我们能搞定的 麦克斯 |
| [13:44] | Andy sent me a cat and a dolphin kissing. | 安迪发给我一张猫咪和海豚的接吻照 |
| [13:47] | I hope they go all the way. I’m dying to see their baby. | 希望它们不只接吻 我好想看它们爱的结晶 |
| [13:49] | A cat-dolphin? Yes! | 猫豚 棒呆了 |
| [13:52] | I don’t think that’s healthy. | 我觉得这样不好吧 |
| [13:54] | Well, if they’re in love, | 如果真的相爱 |
| [13:55] | it’s really none of your business. | 那关你屁事啊 |
| [13:57] | Why are you texting him in the middle of the night? | 为什么大半夜你还给他发短信啊 |
| [14:00] | In fact, why is he still up? | 老实说 为什么他还没睡 |
| [14:01] | Is he talking about me? | 他是不是在打听我啊 |
| [14:03] | You look upset. | 你看起来不爽 |
| [14:04] | Do you want me to stop texting him? | 你要我别跟他发短信吗 |
| [14:05] | No. It’s fine. | 不用 没关系 |
| [14:08] | It’s just I’m tired and we’re almost finished, | 只是我累了 活也差不多干完了 |
| [14:09] | and I just wanna go home. | 我现在只想回家 |
| [14:10] | Got it. I’m so hot. | 收到 我热死了 |
| [14:12] | Let me just get this hair off my neck. | 等我先把头发扎起来 |
| [14:15] | Max, why are you wearing only one earring? | 麦克斯 为什么你今天只戴一只耳环 |
| [14:17] | What are you talking about? I’m wearing two. | 你瞎说什么 我明明戴的是两只 |
| [14:20] | That’s weird. | 奇了怪了 |
| [14:21] | Where is it? Is it in my hair? | 还有一只呢 是不是在我头发里 |
| [14:23] | No, no. Did it fall down? | 没有啊 是不是掉下来了 |
| [14:25] | Yeah, check your boobs. | 快检查下你的咪咪 |
| [14:26] | That’s where you found the remote. | 上次遥控器就是在那发现的 |
| [14:30] | It’s not-it’s not anywhere on me. | 不在 不在我身上 |
| [14:32] | Well, when’s the last time you saw it? | 你最后一次看见它是什么时候 |
| [14:33] | I don’t know, but it couldn’t have gone far. | 我不知道 但肯定在这附近 |
| [14:35] | I was in this area pretty much the whole night. | 我几乎一整晚都在这里 |
| [14:37] | You mean over the batter? | 你是说在面粉糊上方吗 |
| [14:42] | – No, no, no. – Nothing, nothing, nothing! | -没有 没有 -没发现 没发现 |
| [14:43] | – No, no, no, no. – Nothing, nothing, nothing! | -没有 没有 -没发现 没发现 |
| [14:45] | – No, no, no, no, no! – Nothing, nothing, no! | -没有 没有 -没发现 没发现 |
| [14:47] | It’s not here, which means | 不在这里 那就意味着 |
| [14:49] | it’s in one of those already-baked cupcakes. | 那只耳环在其中一个做好的小蛋糕里 |
| [14:51] | Let’s go. We have to start pulling these apart. | 来吧 我们得开始逐个掰开找 |
| [14:55] | Really? Come on, don’t be ridiculous. | 来真的啊 拜托 别小题大作嘛 |
| [14:57] | Look, worst-case scenario, one of the 1,000 cupcakes | 最坏的情况不过也是 在一千个小蛋糕中 |
| [14:59] | has an earring in it. | 有一个里面有只耳环 |
| [15:01] | We’ll tell them it’s a surprise. | 跟客人说是惊喜礼物就好啦 |
| [15:03] | No, the worst-case scenario is someone bites into it, | 不行 最坏的情况是有人吃到那个小蛋糕 |
| [15:06] | rips their lip open, and sues us. | 把嘴唇弄破了 然后把我们告上法庭 |
| [15:08] | Let them sue us. We don’t have any money. | 随便他们告 反正我们没钱赔 |
| [15:11] | And that’s why we’ll go to jail. | 所以我们就会进监狱 |
| [15:12] | Yep, I’ll be locked up raw | 没错 我会被关进大牢 |
| [15:14] | and forced to be someone’s girlfriend. | 然后被迫做别人的女玩物 |
| [15:15] | I mean, I’m a bad girlfriend out of prison. | 我在监狱外已经是个坏女友了 |
| [15:17] | It’s not gonna be any easier with big joan. | 跟监狱大姐大在一起 能好过吗 |
| [15:19] | Calm down. | 淡定 |
| [15:20] | If we go to prison, I’ll be your girlfriend. | 如果我们进监狱 我来做你的女友 |
| [15:23] | Until someone hotter comes along, | 直到有更性感的妞进来取代我 |
| [15:24] | ’cause that’s the way it goes in prison. | 监狱里都是这样 |
| [15:26] | Start looking. | 开始找吧 |
| [15:27] | I am not going to smash 900 cupcakes. | 我才不要捏烂我辛苦做的九百个小蛋糕 |
| [15:31] | Then we’ll just have to start over. | 那我们只好全部重做啦 |
| [15:32] | Oh, no, I would rather hitch a ride west | 不要 我宁愿搭个顺风车去西部 |
| [15:35] | and become a sister-wife. | 然后跟别的女人共事一夫 |
| [15:40] | This is crazy. Can’t I just text them | 这太疯狂了 就不能发短信 |
| [15:42] | and tell them we can’t do the job? | 告诉他们 这活我们干不了吗 |
| [15:43] | No, you can’t text them. We need the money. | 不 你不能这样做 我们需要这笔钱 |
| [15:46] | And stop with all the texting. | 别老发什么破短信了 |
| [15:48] | Maybe if you were thinking less about | 或许如果你不是整天想着 |
| [15:49] | texting with my ex-boyfriend, | 跟我的前男友发短信 |
| [15:50] | you wouldn’t have lost your earring in the first place. | 你就不会弄丢你的耳环 |
| [15:53] | You should have just said it. | 这话你早就该说了 |
| [15:55] | You have a problem with me texting Andy. | 你不爽我跟安迪发短信 |
| [15:57] | I do not have a problem with it! | 我才没有不爽 |
| [15:59] | Oh, good, ’cause he’s my friend too. | 很好 因为他也是我的朋友 |
| [16:02] | You’d think your loyalty to your best friend | 你不觉得你对最好朋友 |
| [16:04] | and business partner would be more important | 和生意伙伴的忠诚度要比 |
| [16:06] | than some stupid animal friendship! | 那些白痴的动物友情重要得多吗 |
| [16:09] | I mean… | 我是说… |
| [16:10] | I’m surprised I even have to tell you that, Max. | 我真吃惊这种话得我亲自说出口 麦克斯 |
| [16:11] | It’s kind of girl code. | 这可是”闺蜜法则” |
| [16:13] | Oh, I am way to tired to hear “girl code.” | 老娘太累 不想听什么狗屁”闺蜜法则” |
| [16:17] | Shut it down. | 别说了 |
| [16:20] | Girl code, Max. | 闺蜜法则 麦克斯 |
| [16:22] | Girl code. | 闺蜜法则 |
| [16:24] | Shut up, Caroline. | 闭嘴 卡洛琳 |
| [16:27] | Shut up! | 闭嘴 |
| [16:30] | I’m not even gonna dignify that with a response. | 我都不屑于对此做出反应了 |
| [16:32] | Yeah, that was the goal, bitch. | 没错 这就是我的目的 贱人 |
| [16:35] | I don’t have time for this. | 我没空跟你吵架 |
| [16:37] | I have to find an earring that you lost | 我得在这一千个小蛋糕里 |
| [16:39] | in one of these thousand cupcakes, bitch! | 找出你不见的那只耳环 贱人 |
| [16:42] | The thousand cupcakes that you forgot to tell me about! | 是你忘记告诉我要做这一千个小蛋糕 |
| [16:47] | And the girl code means that when a girl | 闺蜜法则就是说 当你的闺蜜 |
| [16:49] | breaks up with someone, | 跟别人分手时 |
| [16:50] | you don’t interfere with their boyfriend, | 你不会跟她们的男友搅和在一起 |
| [16:52] | because she needs some distance. | 因为你的闺蜜想跟他保持距离 |
| [16:54] | Well, why didn’t you tell me that | 那你为什么不在14小时前 |
| [16:56] | When I asked you 14 hours ago? | 我问你的时候告诉我 |
| [17:01] | Hey, Max. I got your text. | 麦克斯 我收到你的短信 |
| [17:04] | I’m here to help. | 我是来帮忙的 |
| [17:06] | Um, that was a pre-girl-code text. | 那条是在闺蜜法则出现前发的 |
| [17:11] | I thought we maybe needed a backup | 在厄尔醉倒 我把小憨憨弄哭后 |
| [17:12] | after Earl passed out and I made Han cry. | 我觉得我们可能需要个后备帮手 |
| [17:21] | Andy, on the list of things I feel guilty about in life, | 安迪 在我人生中内疚之事的榜单里 |
| [17:24] | calling you to help in the middle of the night | 半夜叫你来帮忙这件事 |
| [17:26] | is number two. | 排名第二 |
| [17:27] | It would be number one | 本来能荣登榜首 |
| [17:28] | if I hadn’t pushed that girl down the stairs | 但榜首是那个我因为想更早进入 |
| [17:29] | to get into the 98 degrees concert before her. | 98度乐队的音乐会 而被我推下楼梯的女生 |
| [17:32] | Well, it was 98 degrees. | 那可是98度啊 |
| [17:34] | People had to die. | 人必需得死啊 |
| [17:37] | Okay, let’s stop all this joking | 好了 别装没事开玩笑了 |
| [17:39] | and get down to why I really came here. | 认真说说我来这里的真正原因吧 |
| [17:40] | Come on, Caroline, love me. | 求你了 卡洛琳 爱我吧 |
| [17:43] | Did you just say, “Caroline, love me”? | 你刚是说 “卡洛琳 爱我吧”吗 |
| [17:45] | No, I said, “Caroline, glove me.” | 不 我是说 “卡洛琳 套我吧” |
| [17:47] | what kind of loser would say, “Love me”? | 要多卑微才会求人说 “爱我吧” |
| [17:50] | Unless you do. | 除非你真爱我 |
| [17:55] | So how you doing? | 你过得怎么样 |
| [17:56] | I’m okay. | 还行 |
| [17:58] | A little tired. | 就是有点累 |
| [18:00] | You know, I’ve been thinking about you a lot. | 我最近常常想起你 |
| [18:03] | Pretty much all the time since we broke up. | 自从我们分手后 我一直在想你 |
| [18:05] | Um, maybe I overreacted to your whole | 或许我对你沉迷于工作 |
| [18:07] | obsession with work thing, you know? | 这件事有点反应过激 |
| [18:11] | Well, you are here at 4:00 A.M. | 你之所以凌晨4点还在这里 |
| [18:12] | ’cause I needed help making 1,000 cupcakes in four hours. | 是因为我得在4小时内做出一千个小蛋糕 |
| [18:15] | One might call that obsessive. | 或许有人会称其为”沉迷” |
| [18:17] | One might. | 有人会 |
| [18:18] | Or pretty much everyone might. | 又或者人人都会这么说 |
| [18:21] | And, Andy, | 安迪 |
| [18:23] | just know that even though it didn’t work out, | 即使深知我们之间不可能了 |
| [18:26] | I do glove you. | 但我真的”套”你 |
| [18:30] | I glove you too. | 我也”套”你 |
| [18:32] | Now, get the cupcakes out before they burn. | 现在赶紧在烤糊之前 把小蛋糕都拿出来 |
| [18:34] | I don’t have the energy to do this all again. | 我没有精力再重做一遍 |
| [18:36] | Ah, there’s the girl I broke up with. | 我甩了的工作狂女友现身了 |
| [18:39] | Everything’s ready to go out there. | 外面一切东西都准备好了 |
| [18:41] | I’ve had my hands in more boxes tonight | 我的手今晚进过的箱子 |
| [18:42] | than a gynecologist at a free clinic. | 比免费诊所妇科医生的手进过的阴道还多 |
| [18:50] | It’s not that funny. | 没这么好笑吧 |
| [18:52] | Stay up another 27 hours, | 等你27个小时不睡觉 |
| [18:54] | it’ll be the funniest damn thing you ever heard. | 这会是你这辈子听过最好笑的一句话 |
| [18:59] | Well, that’s the end of it. | 都结束了 |
| [19:00] | Yeah, I think it is. | 是啊 结束了 |
| [19:02] | Max, I’m talking about more than the cupcakes. | 麦克斯 我说的不只是小蛋糕 |
| [19:04] | Yeah, I could tell by your Bradley Cooper tone. | 是啊 我能从你布莱德利·库珀式的音调里听出 |
| [19:07] | So what, it’s not gonna work out between you two? | 怎么了 你们俩彻底不可能了吗 |
| [19:10] | No. | 是啊 |
| [19:11] | And I think we have to break up. | 我觉得我们必须分手 |
| [19:12] | I thought you already broke up. | 我以为你俩早就分了啊 |
| [19:14] | No, I’m talking about you and me. | 不 我是在说我和你 |
| [19:15] | You’re dumping me? | 你要甩了我啊 |
| [19:17] | Wow, last guy who dumped me, | 上一个甩我的男人 |
| [19:19] | I burned down his house and moved. | 我把他的房子烧了 然后搬走 |
| [19:21] | Still wanna continue this conversation? | 还想继续这个话题吗 |
| [19:23] | Max, it wouldn’t work. | 麦克斯 这样不行 |
| [19:25] | I would always be asking you about Caroline. | 我会一直跟你打听卡洛琳 |
| [19:27] | Look, I get it, it’s weird. | 我明白 这样很奇怪 |
| [19:28] | People don’t usually stay friends with their friend’s ex, | 人们一般不会跟自己朋友的前任成为朋友 |
| [19:31] | But then, cats don’t usually become friends with dolphins. | 可是猫咪一般也不会跟海豚成为朋友啊 |
| [19:35] | But sometimes, for no apparent reason, it happens. | 可有时 缘分就是这么奇妙 |
| [19:38] | Yeah, I just wish I was as grown up | 是啊 我只希望我跟 |
| [19:40] | as a cat or a dolphin. | 猫或海豚一样成熟 |
| [19:42] | I hear ya. | 我懂你意思 |
| [19:44] | So what’s next, breakup text? | 那接下来是什么 分手短信吗 |
| [19:46] | Nah, that’s just gonna lead to makeup text, | 不要 发了之后就会有复合短信 |
| [19:48] | and then we’re back in a vicious cycle. | 然后我们就这么恶性循环下去 |
| [19:51] | All right, I’ll just stop by your place, | 好吧 那我只好去你家一趟 |
| [19:52] | pick up my cds, my t-shirts, | 拿回我的CD和T恤 |
| [19:53] | and the 3 grand I left there. | 还有留在你家的三千块 |
| [19:55] | Max, you’ve never been to my place. | 麦克斯 你从来没去过我家 |
| [19:57] | See, this is why I’m breaking up with you– | 瞧 这就是我要跟你分手的原因 |
| [19:58] | You’re a liar. | 你个骗子 |
| [20:00] | See you in small claims court, bub. | 索赔法院见 伙计 |
| [20:06] | Well, we did it, Max. | 我们做到了 麦克斯 |
| [20:08] | We made $4,000. | 我们赚到了4千块 |
| [20:10] | And as far as Andy and I go, | 关于我和安迪 |
| [20:12] | I think we’re in the right place, | 我觉得我们像现在这样正好 |
| [20:14] | because when he said he’d been thinking about me | 因为当他说他分手后 |
| [20:15] | since the breakup, | 每分每秒都在想我 |
| [20:17] | I realized I’d only been thinking about the cupcakes. | 我才意识到自己每分每秒想的都是小蛋糕 |
| [20:19] | Oh, please, god, shut up. | 天啊 拜托把嘴闭上 |
| [20:22] | Thank you. I was dying to shut up. | 谢谢 我的嘴也超级想休息 |
| [20:28] | Look, it’s a text from the place. | 是顾客发来的短信 |
| [20:30] | They loved the cupcakes. | 他们很喜欢我们的小蛋糕 |
| [20:32] | Wait, why do I have your phone in my apron? | 慢着 为什么你的手机会在我的围裙里 |
| [20:34] | No, my phone was in my apron. | 不可能 我的手机是放在我的围裙里 |
| [20:37] | Unless I handed you the wrong apron | 除非我当时擦完围裙后 |
| [20:39] | after I wiped them down. | 错把我的递给你了 |
| [20:42] | What? | 什么 |
| [20:44] | What? | 果然 |
| [20:45] | Oh…Your earring. | 你的耳环 |
| [20:48] | I had it in there the whole time. | 它一直在我这里 |
| [20:50] | Oh, we’re idiots! | 我们俩白痴 |
| [20:52] | We’re two very different kinds of idiots, | 虽说是两种完全不同类型的白痴 |
| [20:54] | but we’re idiots. | 但我们都是白痴 |
| [20:56] | And yet, somehow we work. | 然而不知何故 我们俩超搭 |
| [20:58] | We’re the most unlikely animal friends. | 我们就像非比寻常的动物朋友 |
| [21:00] | I don’t know about that, but a picture of me nursing you | 我是不知道啦 但我给你喂奶的照片 |
| [21:02] | would definitely go viral. | 绝对会在网络上爆红 |
| [21:05] | – Good night. – Good night. | -晚安 -晚安 |
| [21:08] | Where you going? | 你要去哪里 |
| [21:09] | I’m too tired to pull my bed down. | 我累得没力气把床弄下来了 |
| [21:10] | I’m sleeping with you. | 我要跟你一起睡 |
| [21:11] | No, you’re not. You have super gonorrhea. | 不行 你可是有超级淋病 |