| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Okay, everyone. Time to dig it up | 各位 又到了失物招领箱的 |
| [00:04] | what’s in the Lost and Found box. | 宝物发掘时间 |
| [00:06] | If my dignity is in there, | 如果我的尊严在里面 |
| [00:07] | tell it I said “What up?” | 帮我向它打个招呼 |
| [00:09] | This is my favourite day of the month. | 这是我一个月中最喜欢的日子 |
| [00:12] | Oh God, I’m falling so far so fast. | 天啊 我堕落得太快太深了 |
| [00:15] | You haven’t fallen that far. | 没有这么夸张啦 |
| [00:17] | First item, a scrunchie | 第一件是 发束 |
| [00:18] | I need that! Give me! | 我需要这个 给我 |
| [00:21] | I think I hit my bottom. | 我堕落到极限 该停了 |
| [00:23] | Okay, next item. | 好了 下一件 |
| [00:25] | A pregnancy test. | 验孕棒 |
| [00:26] | That’s empty. | 那盒子是空的 |
| [00:27] | What? I had two free minutes, | 看我干嘛 我有两分钟空档 |
| [00:29] | and you never know. | 有孕验孕 没孕强身嘛 |
| [00:32] | Can we move this along? | 能不能快点 |
| [00:33] | I’m an old man, and I need to get to bed. | 我年纪大了 得早点上床 |
| [00:37] | You are late to meet woman for hot date. | 你是约了妹子”上床” 现在迟到了吧 |
| [00:40] | You know it. | 还是你懂行 |
| [00:42] | A wallet and… | 一个钱包 |
| [00:45] | no money. | 可惜没钱 |
| [00:48] | What? If I was pregnant, | 看我干嘛 如果我怀孕了 |
| [00:49] | I needed it for the baby. | 我得花钱去打孩子啊 |
| [00:55] | And finally for the sixth month in a row… | 最后一样 是连续六个月都有的 |
| [00:58] | The wig. | 假发 |
| [00:59] | The wig! | 假发 |
| [01:02] | Han, it’s your turn. | 阿憨 这次该你了 |
| [01:04] | We have all put it on except you. | 除了你 我们都戴过了 |
| [01:06] | If I had to take a picture in it, | 连我都戴过这玩意拍照了 |
| [01:07] | you have to take a picture in it. | 你也得做同样的事情 |
| [01:09] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 |
| [01:11] | Man, I’m a fun boss. | 我可真是个风趣的老板啊 |
| [01:21] | Oh, sorry, sir. We’re closed. | 不好意思 先生 我们打烊了 |
| [01:22] | I was just checking if I left my toupee here. | 我来看看是不是把假发忘在这了 |
| [01:25] | Take the picture quick. | 快点拍照 |
| [01:46] | I got it. Here it is. | 我拿到了 拿到了 |
| [01:47] | The new Martha Stewart Living. | 最新一期《玛莎生活杂志》 |
| [01:48] | I ran so fast, the librarian said, | 我跑得超快 那个图书管理员说 |
| [01:50] | “Stop running in the library,” and I almost said, | “不许在图书馆乱跑” 我差点就回他 |
| [01:52] | “This is different. I’m stealing.” | “我不是跑着玩 我是偷书” |
| [01:55] | Why are you still even looking | 你为什么还每个月 |
| [01:56] | through Martha Stewart living every month? | 都看这本破杂志啊 |
| [01:58] | ‘Cause we might be mentioned in it. | 因为她可能会在里面提到我们啊 |
| [01:59] | Martha said she hadn’t forgotten about us. | 玛莎说她没有忘记我们 |
| [02:01] | That’s what my mother said, | 我妈当年也是这么说的 |
| [02:02] | but I spent a whole day and night | 最后老娘落得了在学校停车场 |
| [02:03] | in that school parking lot. | 等了整整一天一夜的下场 |
| [02:05] | Silver lining- | 不幸中的大幸是 |
| [02:06] | I still know the whole rap part to TLC’s Waterfalls. | 我现在还会唱TLC乐队那首《瀑布》的说唱部分 |
| [02:10] | Well, I’m still holding out hope we’re in this, | 我还抱着我们会在书中出现的希望 |
| [02:12] | even though I’ve been hurt two months in a row. | 虽然我已经连续两个月被伤透了心 |
| [02:14] | Oh, god, am I in an abusive relationship | 天啊 我是不是跟一个指点生活的专家 |
| [02:16] | with a lifestyle guru? | 在谈一场虐恋啊 |
| [02:19] | Okay, let’s get this over with. | 好吧 我们快快过一遍 |
| [02:22] | “How to make him love your salmon.” | “如何让他爱上你做的鲑鱼” |
| [02:23] | “How to make him love your stretch marks.” | “如果让他爱上你的妊娠纹” |
| [02:25] | Hey, he just doesn’t love you. | 拜托 他就是不爱你嘛 |
| [02:27] | Activia ad, activia ad, activia ad. | 全是达能酸奶广告 广告 广告 |
| [02:29] | We get it, Jamie Lee. | 我们知道啦 杰米·李 |
| [02:29] | 其代言人是好莱坞女星杰米·李 在广告中声称 Activia酸奶能帮助解决消化问题 后因广告失实被指控 | |
| [02:30] | You poop lot. | 你消化好排便畅 |
| [02:32] | “Get your oven Martha-clean,” | “让你的烤箱有如大师般洁净” |
| [02:34] | “Max’s something cupcakes” | “麦克斯的什么小蛋糕” |
| [02:35] | Scarf, scarf, scarf. | 桌布 桌布 桌布 |
| [02:36] | Wait, Max’s cupcakes? | 慢着 麦克斯的小蛋糕 |
| [02:38] | You just said, “Max’s something cupcakes.” | 你刚是说”麦克斯的什么小蛋糕”吗 |
| [02:40] | I did? | 是吗 |
| [02:41] | Wow, my ears are so not used | 我的耳朵还真不习惯 |
| [02:43] | to anything good coming out of my mouth. | 听进我嘴里说出来的好话 |
| [02:45] | There. There. Look. | 这里这里 你看 |
| [02:46] | “Max’s homemade cupcakes | “麦克斯自制小蛋糕 |
| [02:48] | is a Williamsburg must-have.” | 是威廉斯堡必尝好滋味” |
| [02:51] | What’s this? What’s my face doing? | 这是什么 我的脸在干嘛 |
| [02:53] | – You’re smiling, Max. – No way! | -你在笑啊 麦克斯 -不可能 |
| [02:56] | Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It’s a blurb. | 天啊 天啊 这是商品宣传 |
| [02:57] | Everyone, we got a blurb In Martha Stewart Living. | 各位 《玛莎生活杂志》在帮我们做宣传 |
| [03:00] | Can I get some more coffee? | 能再给我来杯咖啡吗 |
| [03:02] | Are you insane? | 你疯啦 |
| [03:04] | Hey, everyone. | 大家好啊 |
| [03:06] | What’s the excitement? | 干嘛这么激动 |
| [03:07] | Is it ’cause I’m here? | 是因为我来了吗 |
| [03:10] | Sophie, look, Max’s homemade cupcakes | 苏菲 快看 《玛莎生活杂志》 |
| [03:12] | got a blurb in Martha Stewart Living. | 在帮”麦克斯自制小蛋糕”做宣传哦 |
| [03:14] | Oh, that’s funny, | 真有意思 |
| [03:16] | ’cause I got a blurb in New York Apartment Life. | 因为《纽约公寓杂志》也在帮我做宣传 |
| [03:20] | Look. “Sophie’s choice cleaning service– | 瞧 “苏菲的选择清洁公司 |
| [03:24] | they clean like their life depends on it.” | 她们为了生活做牛做马 流血流汗” |
| [03:28] | Well, that’s not exactly the same. | 那跟这个不一样啦 |
| [03:31] | No, ’cause, look, I got three plungers. | 当然不一样 瞧 我得到三个皮搋子 |
| [03:36] | Yeah, but I didn’t want to brag. | 没错 我本来不想吹嘘的啦 |
| [03:39] | That must be andy wondering | 一定是安迪问我 |
| [03:41] | if I’m coming over to have sex tonight. | 晚上要不要过去滚床单 |
| [03:42] | Could my life get any better? | 我的人生还能再美好点吗 |
| [03:46] | Oh, my God. It could get better. | 天啊 还真能 |
| [03:47] | There are, like, ten cupcake orders here. | 我们有十个蛋糕订单 |
| [03:50] | Birthday, baby shower, bris. | 生日派对 新生儿派对 割礼 |
| [03:51] | Can we do a bris? | 我们可以接割礼吗 |
| [03:53] | Sure. I’ll just make a little rosette foreskin | 当然 我做点玫瑰造型的包皮 |
| [03:55] | and write around the outside, | 然后在外面写上 |
| [03:56] | “Congratulations on not terrifying women in 20 years.” | “恭喜你 20年后不会吓着女人了” |
| [04:03] | Hey, Andy. | 你好 安迪 |
| [04:04] | Hi, candy. | 你好 糖果 |
| [04:06] | Did you see it? | 你看到了吗 |
| [04:07] | Did you see the new Martha Stewart Living? | 你看了新一期的《玛莎生活杂志》了吗 |
| [04:08] | Oh, sorry, no. | 抱歉 没有 |
| [04:10] | I still have to get through my Glamour and Modern Bride. | 我还没看完本期《魅力》跟《新娘》女性杂志呢 |
| [04:13] | And I had sisters, so I’m allowed to know those names. | 我有姐姐 所以知道那些杂志名不为过 |
| [04:16] | “A Williamsburg must-have.” Nice. | “威廉斯堡必尝好滋味” 不错啊 |
| [04:18] | You know I feel the same way about you. | 我一直觉得你也是 |
| [04:19] | Aw, cute, but it really doesn’t mean anything | 真会说话 不过除非上了报章杂志 |
| [04:21] | unless it’s in a blurb. | 不然不算数 |
| [04:24] | I couldn’t wait to show this to you. | 我都等不及要拿给你看呢 |
| [04:25] | I’m so glad you were here late doing inventory. | 真庆幸你还在这里加班整理存货 |
| [04:28] | Yeah, you know, it’s the weirdest thing. | 是啊 说来也怪 |
| [04:29] | The only thing I can’t account for | 我唯一不知道去哪里的就是 |
| [04:31] | is one missing Elvis Pez dispenser, Max. | 一个猫王的糖果盒 麦克斯 |
| [04:34] | Um, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but… | 我不知道你在说什么 但… |
| [04:37] | Thank you very much. | 非常感谢 |
| [04:39] | Can we please get back to the blurb? | 我们能回到宣传这个话题吗 |
| [04:41] | Sorry. You’re right. | 抱歉 你说得对 |
| [04:42] | I should have made a bigger deal about it. | 我应该更重视这件事 |
| [04:44] | It’s just I’ve been a little freaked out. | 只是我有点被吓到了 |
| [04:46] | We had some big drama here today. | 这里今天发生了件大事 |
| [04:47] | Drama in a candy store? | 小糖果屋能发生什么”大事” |
| [04:49] | Did the yogurt-covered craisins finally realize | 是不是被酸奶裹着的葡萄干终于意识到 |
| [04:51] | how stupid they are and commit mass suicide? | 自己是多么愚蠢 然后集体自杀了 |
| [04:54] | No, but seriously they pulled some bodies | 不 不过说真的 |
| [04:56] | out of the closed-down soup kitchen across the way tonight. | 今晚他们从对面的施粥坊运出几具尸体 |
| [04:58] | So now we’re completely off the blurb? | 所以现在完全不聊宣传这事了吗 |
| [05:02] | Some guys broke in. | 有些不明人士闯进去 |
| [05:03] | A bunch of people got shot. | 然后一堆人被乱枪打死 |
| [05:04] | Apparently, it was a drug deal gone wrong. | 显然是毒品交易谈不拢 |
| [05:06] | – Oh, my God. That’s horrible. – I know. | -天啊 太可怕了 -就是啊 |
| [05:08] | Why can’t a drug deal ever go right? | 为什么毒品交易总是谈不拢呢 |
| [05:12] | Hey, they said it was a real bloodbath. | 听人说当时血肉横飞啊 |
| [05:14] | I want to see it! | 我要去看 |
| [05:18] | Oh, okay, so I’m closing the magazine then? | 好吧 我得合上杂志了是吗 |
| [05:21] | Max, you can’t go in there. | 麦克斯 你不能进去 |
| [05:22] | It’s a crime scene. There’s police tape. | 那可是犯罪现场 有警察封锁带 |
| [05:28] | Is she magic? | 她会魔术吗 |
| [05:30] | One of my mom’s boyfriends used to rob electronic stores. | 我妈有个男友过去专门偷电子商店 |
| [05:33] | He took me once for my birthday. | 有次作为生日礼物 他带了我去 |
| [05:37] | Hmm, there should be a light switch around here. | 这附近应该有灯的开关啊 |
| [05:41] | – Oh, my God. – Oh, that’s really gross. | -天啊 -这太恶心了吧 |
| [05:43] | That’s the greatest thing I’ve ever seen! | 这是我见过最棒的东西 |
| [05:47] | Take a picture of me over here. | 帮我在这里拍张照片 |
| [05:49] | I finally have a reason to join Instagram. | 我终于有理由加入网上照片分享的行列了 |
| [05:54] | People are gonna be like, “Food, food, | 人们浏览照片时肯定会这样 “食物 食物 |
| [05:56] | cat, food, nails, nails, murder?” | 猫 食物 指甲 指甲 谋杀啊” |
| [06:01] | Guys, I can’t be in here. | 伙计们 我得走了 |
| [06:02] | I get queasy if the meat juice touches my peas. | 我吃饭有肉汁都想吐了 更何况这个 |
| [06:06] | Is this your first blood splatter? | 这是你第一次见到血溅一墙吗 |
| [06:07] | Jeez, someone’s a princess. | 真是个温室花朵小公主啊 |
| [06:10] | Man, they are never gonna be able to rent this place now. | 天啊 这地方以后肯定没人敢租了 |
| [06:13] | I’m gonna go over to my store and put blood on the walls | 我要回店里 往墙上浇点血 |
| [06:15] | so Max will like it more. | 好讨麦克斯欢心 |
| [06:18] | Max, look around. | 麦克斯 看看四周 |
| [06:20] | Are you thinking what I’m thinking? | 你想的跟我的一样吗 |
| [06:21] | Yup. The shooter stood here, | 对 枪手站在这里 |
| [06:23] | and, based on the blood splatter, | 依墙上溅开的血迹分析 |
| [06:24] | he was short and walked with a limp. | 他个子不高 走路会一瘸一拐 |
| [06:26] | And his name was Mad Dog. | 他名叫迈德·道格[疯狗] |
| [06:29] | ‘Cause I want that to be his name. | 因为我希望他叫这个 |
| [06:31] | No, Max, | 不 麦克斯 |
| [06:31] | you know how we’ve always wanted our own shop? | 我们不是一直想拥有自己的店面吗 |
| [06:34] | This is it. | 就是这里了 |
| [06:35] | This is Max’s homemade cupcakes. | 这里就是麦克斯自制小蛋糕的店址 |
| [06:38] | Oh. Yeah, I see that. | 好吧 我懂了 |
| [06:40] | And we can put our red velvets over there | 还可以把我们的红色天鹅绒 |
| [06:42] | by the random skull fragments. | 摆那边的头骨碎渣旁 |
| [06:45] | Besides, I thought our shop was gonna be in Manhattan. | 再说了 我们不是要把店开在曼哈顿吗 |
| [06:47] | Manhattan’s over. | 曼哈顿已经落伍了 |
| [06:48] | Williamsburg is the new hot area, | 现在威廉斯堡才是新的流行地 |
| [06:51] | And besides Martha’s blurb says we’re a Williamsburg must-have, | 而且书上说我们是威廉斯堡必尝的美味 |
| [06:54] | So we must have this space. | 所以我们必须租下这里 |
| [06:56] | No, we must have the money. | 错 我们必须先弄得钱 |
| [06:59] | I mean, this place has got to be, like, $4,000 a month. | 这地方起码得4千块一个月啊 |
| [07:02] | Was. Was $4,000 a month. | 那是过去 过去可能得一个月4千 |
| [07:04] | That was the pre-tragedy price. | 那是悲剧发生前的价格 |
| [07:08] | When people die, it’s a buyer’s market. | 一旦死过人 多少钱就是买家说了算 |
| [07:13] | You want to rent a room in that shining hotel now, | 想在出过事的高档酒店住上一晚 |
| [07:15] | It’s, like, 50 bucks a night. | 大概50块一晚就行了 |
| [07:17] | Well, obviously I wanna start a business | 虽然我很想在一个发生过 |
| [07:19] | in a place where there was a shooting spree. | 连环射杀凶案的地方开店 |
| [07:21] | And, if we go with red, it’s half painted. | 而且如果想漆成红墙 这都半完工了 |
| [07:25] | But where are we gonna get the money? | 但我们要去哪里弄这笔钱 |
| [07:27] | This blurb is our money in the bank. | 玛莎的宣传就是我们银行里的钱 |
| [07:29] | Oh, yeah, that’s another thing we don’t have. | 真好 又多了一样我们没有的东西 |
| [07:31] | A bank. | 银行 |
| [07:33] | There are places set up by women | 有些专门为了支持其他女性的 |
| [07:34] | specifically to support other women’s small businesses. | 小本生意的而创立的机构 |
| [07:37] | I’m talking girl-on-girl financing. | 我说的是”女女融资” |
| [07:40] | That’s hot. | 名字真肉欲 |
| [07:43] | But I don’t care how much money they offer us. | 但不管她们能借给咱们多少钱 |
| [07:44] | I’m not braiding anyone’s hair. | 我都不会出卖自己身体的 |
| [07:47] | But are we ready? | 但我们真的准备好了吗 |
| [07:49] | Okay, yes. | 好吧 没错 |
| [07:50] | This is a big leap of faith, | 这的确是一步险棋 |
| [07:52] | but we’re getting in lots of orders now thanks to the blurb. | 但有了宣传后 我们的订单也多了起来 |
| [07:55] | And what’s the worst thing that could happen? | 而且最坏又能如何呢 |
| [07:57] | Um, maybe these could be our brains. | 比如墙上会是我们的脑浆 |
| [08:01] | No, not gonna happen. | 不 不会的 |
| [08:02] | We’re gonna kill it. | 我们一定能大杀四方 |
| [08:03] | No disrespect to any spirits | 我完全没有对任何 |
| [08:05] | still trying to find their way into the light. | 还在苦苦寻求解脱的灵魂不敬 |
| [08:08] | I’ll figure out a place, | 我会选好地方 |
| [08:08] | and we’ll go first thing in the morning. | 明早一起来我们就去 |
| [08:10] | Find something business-y to wear, less cleavage. | 打扮得像点生意人 少穿低领 |
| [08:13] | Oh, these are all business. | 这些就是我的生意”本钱” |
| [08:16] | Great, I’m gonna go find Andy. | 很好 我要去找安迪了 |
| [08:18] | What is it about real estate that makes you wanna dry hump? | 怎么说到房地产会让我想隔衣干”磨蹭”啊 |
| [08:24] | Max, I’m so excited. | 麦克斯 我好兴奋啊 |
| [08:26] | We’re getting our dream. | 我们要实现我们的梦想了 |
| [08:28] | You look like you want a hug. | 看起来你想来个爱的抱抱 |
| [08:29] | I do. | 没错 |
| [08:38] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [08:48] | “Max’s homemade cupcakes,” | “麦克斯自制小蛋糕” |
| [08:50] | You’re up. | 轮到你了 |
| [08:54] | Caroline, why didn’t you pick up? | 卡洛琳 你干嘛不接电话 |
| [08:55] | They just called us early, and I don’t know | 提早轮到我们了 而且我也不懂 |
| [08:57] | what to write on the paper. | 该怎么填这表格 |
| [08:58] | And I feel like an idiot, my boobs are suffocating, | 我感觉像个白痴一样 胸也要被衣服闷死了 |
| [09:01] | and the only “business” thing I could find was Han’s blazer. | 而我唯一能找到的正装 是阿憨的夹克 |
| [09:04] | It’s itchy, and there’s a piece of paper in the pocket | 穿起来身上好痒 而且口袋里有个纸条 |
| [09:06] | with his name on it. | 上面写着他名字 |
| [09:08] | Why would he have that? | 他干嘛要写名条放口袋啊 |
| [09:10] | “Max’s homemade cupcakes,” | “麦克斯自制小蛋糕” |
| [09:12] | Time is money. | 时间就是金钱哦 |
| [09:14] | Um, here. | 在 |
| [09:15] | But our appointment’s not for another 20 minutes. | 但我们预约的是20分钟后呢 |
| [09:18] | Have a seat. | 请就座 |
| [09:21] | Cool place. | 这地方挺不错啊 |
| [09:22] | Women’s small businesses. | 女性的小本生意 |
| [09:24] | Sisters doing it for themselves. | 姐姐妹妹为了自己的前途而来这 |
| [09:26] | Well, I’m doing it for the medical benefits. | 我是为了医疗福利而来这 |
| [09:31] | – Go. – Oh, now? | -说吧 -现在就开始吗 |
| [09:33] | Before she gets here? | 我搭档人还没到呢 |
| [09:35] | Um, well, I’m not really much of a business person. | 我这人不太懂做生意呢 |
| [09:38] | Great way to start a business loan application. | 好一个生意贷款申请的开场白啊 |
| [09:42] | Go! | 快说 |
| [09:43] | You have a minute. | 给你一分钟讲 |
| [09:49] | Okay, well, um, how much time do I have now? | 好吧 我… 我还剩多少时间 |
| [09:53] | Slightly less than a minute. | 不到一分钟 |
| [09:56] | Okay, uh, my business partner | 我的生意伙伴 |
| [09:59] | could explain this better than me, but I’ll try. | 肯定能解释得比我好 但我尽量吧 |
| [10:03] | We have a cupcake business. | 我们拥有个小蛋糕生意 |
| [10:05] | And we bake cupcakes in my roommate’s bedroom. | 我们在我室友的房里烤小蛋糕 |
| [10:10] | I can’t hear you. | 我听不见你说的 |
| [10:12] | You want to write it down, draw it, shape it in clay? | 你要用写的 画的 或是用粘土捏给我看吗 |
| [10:16] | I would have filled this out more, | 我本来也想多填一点 |
| [10:17] | but that chick over there wouldn’t let me cheat off her. | 但那边那妞不让我抄她的 |
| [10:20] | She’s not a girl’s girl, know what I mean? | 她不是那种女女互助型的妞啊 |
| [10:23] | Very professional. | 非常”专业” |
| [10:25] | Under past loan repayment, | 过去还贷历史 |
| [10:27] | you put, “Paid todd back all the beer money I owed.” | 你填了 “还了我欠陶德的酒债” |
| [10:32] | To be fair, he was drunk all the time. | 这可是好事 他那人整天醉醺醺的 |
| [10:34] | I could have just said I did. | 我都没骗他说我还钱了呢 |
| [10:35] | Points for honesty. | 给我的诚实加个分嘛 |
| [10:37] | Let’s get you a new loan application. | 我再拿一份新的贷款申请表给你吧 |
| [10:41] | Just got your message. | 才看到你的短信 |
| [10:42] | The one time I don’t come early. | 我第一次没早来就出事了 |
| [10:44] | Speaking of that, I just had the most amazing orgasm. | 说到”来” 我刚体验了这辈子最棒的性高潮 |
| [10:48] | I mean, we’ve been having really great sex, | 我跟安迪性生活是一直很美满啦 |
| [10:50] | but this morning, I could not get enough of his– | 但今早 我爽得都停不下… |
| [10:54] | projected growth ratio investment analysis. | 要看他的预期增长比投资分析报告了 |
| [10:57] | Hello, Caroline Channing. | 您好 卡洛琳·钱宁 |
| [10:58] | Wharton class of ’09. | 沃顿商学院09年毕业生 |
| [11:00] | That’s our business proposal. | 这是我们的商业计划书 |
| [11:02] | And I would be a little embarrassed about what just happened | 幸好在座各位都是女性 |
| [11:04] | if I didn’t know that we’re all just girls here. | 不然刚才就更尴尬了 |
| [11:07] | Can we move this along? | 能快点弄完这事吗 |
| [11:08] | I got a busted toilet and a pregnant dog at home. | 我有堵塞马桶跟怀孕的狗等我回家弄呢 |
| [11:14] | Why didn’t you tell me she was under there? | 你干嘛不提醒我她在桌子下面 |
| [11:16] | Oh, sorry, I wasn’t expecting a monologue | 是我不对 我没算到会听到一段 |
| [11:18] | from confessions of a call girl. | “应召女郎的独白” |
| [11:21] | I’m afraid we’re gonna have to deny the loan. | 恐怕我们无法贷款给你们 |
| [11:24] | Why? Because she had a good orgasm? | 为什么 就因为她高潮到炸吗 |
| [11:27] | Isn’t that what the ’70s was about for you gals? | 你们70年代的妞不是最爱”做”了吗 |
| [11:30] | You have no business history. | 你们没有生意经验 |
| [11:32] | And that’s a requirement for us. | 但那是我们的基本要求 |
| [11:34] | Well, I think we’re done here. | 好吧 那恕我们不奉陪了 |
| [11:36] | Yeah. I just said that. | 我刚不就是这意思吗 |
| [11:39] | I thought you guys were about | 我还以为你们的主旨是 |
| [11:40] | supporting small women’s business. | 支持女性的小本生意 |
| [11:42] | And this small woman’s “bidness” needs support | 而这小女人的”小生意”今日连遭”撞击” |
| [11:45] | after the pounding it took today. | 不正需要你们的支持吗 |
| [11:47] | Max, let’s go. | 麦克斯 走吧 |
| [11:54] | Okay, there’s a bank in New Hampshire | 我找到一家在新罕布什尔的银行 |
| [11:56] | that doesn’t check anything. | 他们什么资料都不会查 |
| [11:58] | And before someone else grabs our cupcake space, | 趁别人还没抢走咱们要的店面之前 |
| [12:01] | I say we get on a bus and go up there. | 我们赶紧上公车去一趟吧 |
| [12:03] | They won’t give out their exact address, | 他们不愿意给详细地址 |
| [12:04] | but I know they’re in a mini mall with a white castle. | 只说是在小商城里 有白城堡标识[速食店] |
| [12:06] | Better idea. | 我有更好的提议 |
| [12:08] | I went to Craigslist, | 我上了分类广告网站 |
| [12:10] | Clicked on “etc” | 点了其他类 |
| [12:12] | and found all kinds of opportunities to make some cash. | 找到了各种赚钱的机会 |
| [12:15] | I’m fighting the instinct to weep, but keep going. | 我在强忍眼眶中悲哀的泪 你接着说 |
| [12:18] | At first I thought I might call pit pig. | 看到了一个闻香师工作 |
| [12:20] | He just wants his armpits smelled, | 结果人家是要找人闻他腋下 |
| [12:22] | but that’s, like, 1,000 sniffs. | 但貌似要闻个一千次左右 |
| [12:23] | Big commitment. | 牺牲颇大 |
| [12:25] | Or there’s the weirdo looking for pretty amputees, | 还有另一个怪人要找个貌美的截肢者 |
| [12:28] | but that feels like a bigger commitment. | 但感觉这活牺牲更大 |
| [12:30] | So, check it. | 所以 看这个吧 |
| [12:32] | “Egg donors needed. | “寻求卵子捐赠者 |
| [12:33] | Ten to twenty grand.” | 酬劳一到两万” |
| [12:35] | No way, I could never sell my eggs. | 别想 我死也不卖我的卵子 |
| [12:37] | I mean, wouldn’t you hate to think | 你难道喜欢在心里老惦记着 |
| [12:38] | you had a kid out there and not know it? | 自己可能有个孩子在外面吗 |
| [12:40] | I probably do. | 我早有了吧 |
| [12:43] | In 2006, I invented the Four Loko and robitussin smoothie. | 我06年发明了能量酒精饮料混感冒糖浆奶昔 |
| [12:47] | It’s pretty much a blackout year. | 我整年都在神志不清呢 |
| [12:48] | Seriously, for the right price I’d sell ’em all. | 价钱合理 卖光所有卵子也行 |
| [12:52] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [12:52] | I mean, I know you’ve always been tough. | 我是知道你一直都是女猛将 |
| [12:54] | To hear you tell it, | 也听你说过 |
| [12:55] | you were part of an underground baby fight club. | 你曾是地下婴儿搏击俱乐部的一员 |
| [12:58] | But don’t you wanna be a mom some day? | 但你难道没想过有天要当妈吗 |
| [13:00] | In the history of the world, | 从古到今 |
| [13:01] | give me one example of a really good mother. | 举一个好妈妈的例子给我听听 |
| [13:04] | You’re putting me on the spot. | 这问题把我难住了 |
| [13:05] | All I can think of is Hilary Duff. | 我脑子里浮现的只有希拉里·达芙 |
| [13:08] | Look, you’re complicating this | 听我说 这事情很简单 |
| [13:10] | with these things you call emotions. | 是你感情用事 才这么复杂 |
| [13:12] | Like it or not… | 无论你接不接受 |
| [13:15] | I’m an egg farm. | 我就是个蛋鸡 |
| [13:18] | Because we don’t know one single person outside of New Hampshire | 而除了新罕布什尔的那地方 我们找不到人 |
| [13:20] | who can lend us that kind of money. | 会愿意借我们这么多钱的 |
| [13:22] | Yoo-hoo, girls, look out the window. | 姑娘们 看看窗外 |
| [13:28] | Up here! It’s me! | 看上面 是我 |
| [13:32] | Oleg and I would like two cupcakes please. | 奥列格跟我想要两个小蛋糕 |
| [13:37] | I feel weird asking Sophie for money. | 要跟苏菲借钱 感觉好怪哦 |
| [13:38] | And how do we even know she has any? | 而且你知道她有那么多钱啊 |
| [13:40] | Well, she’s building her dream house in Poland | 人家在波兰盖着梦想中的豪宅 |
| [13:42] | between a former death camp and a New W. | 盖在旧死亡集中营跟五星酒店之间呢 |
| [13:44] | She’s gotta be loaded. | 她肯定超有钱 |
| [13:46] | And Sophie’s the kind of woman who understands our dreams. | 况且苏菲是那种能理解我们梦想的女人 |
| [13:48] | Come in. | 请进 |
| [13:56] | That’s exactly what I thought would be | 我进门前就想到 |
| [13:57] | on the other side of that door. | 门后会是这副光景了 |
| [13:59] | Oleg, sweetie, we have company. | 小甜甜奥列格 有客人来了 |
| [14:02] | I brought you an ass pillow. | 我给你拿了屁屁枕头 |
| [14:05] | Nice to see you like this outside of work, girls, no? | 在工作以外的地方能如此与你们相见 不好吗 |
| [14:09] | No. | 不好 |
| [14:13] | Girls, did you see my big hanging thing? | 姑娘们 看到我的大”吊”物了吗 |
| [14:18] | Yeah, we kinda just saw it. | 我们刚才是看到了 |
| [14:20] | No, I’m talking about my new ch-andelier for my lake house. | 不是 是我要装到豪宅里的大灯灯 |
| [14:25] | Yeah, I can totally see you drinking ch-ardonnay under it. | 我都能想象你在灯下大喝喝美酒的场景呢 |
| [14:29] | Oh, Max, you are so funny. | 麦克斯 你真会搞笑 |
| [14:31] | She’s a real ch-aracter. | 她的确是个大笑笑 |
| [14:33] | Yeah, that’s not a word. | 哪有这个词 |
| [14:36] | Okay, well, we just wanted to bring you | 我们来送给你免费的小蛋糕 |
| [14:38] | some more cupcakes for free, per usual, | 每次都是免费请你吃哦 |
| [14:40] | and perhaps talk about a possible business venture. | 然后可能顺便跟你谈一个投资机会 |
| [14:43] | Oh, sorry, girls. | 抱歉了 姑娘们 |
| [14:46] | I have two rules in life: | 我这辈子有两个规矩 |
| [14:48] | Never drink from the same well as a gypsy | 永远不喝吉普赛人也喝的同井水 |
| [14:51] | And never lend money to friends. | 还有就是 永远不借钱给朋友 |
| [14:55] | And, Max, you are my friend. | 而麦克斯 你是我的朋友 |
| [14:58] | Okay, well, we were just checking, but thanks anyway. | 没事 我们就问问 还是谢了 |
| [15:00] | But, Sophie, just hear us out. | 苏菲 你听我们说说嘛 |
| [15:01] | It’s a wonderful opportunity, | 这是个千载难逢的机会 |
| [15:02] | And we’ll of course pay you back with interest. | 我们会连本带利还给你 |
| [15:04] | Okay, buh-bye. | 好了 不送 |
| [15:07] | Let’s go. We tried it. | 走吧 我们问过了 |
| [15:08] | Now it’s—- time. | 现在到了下蛋的时间啦 |
| [15:12] | You are not harvesting your body for money. | 不许你靠卖器官组织赚钱 |
| [15:14] | What’s the big deal? | 这有什么啊 |
| [15:15] | I sold two kidneys for a down payment on my house. | 我房子的定金就是卖了两个肾赚来的 |
| [15:19] | Not true. You need at least one to live. | 你骗人 起码得留一个才能活 |
| [15:22] | Oh, well, they weren’t mine. | 是吗 反正都不是我自己的 |
| [15:27] | Well, you know what we have to do. | 接下来要干嘛你应该心知肚明 |
| [15:28] | Let’s get the bok out of here. | 咱们咕咕走人吧 |
| [15:37] | And you’re sure you’re okay with selling your eggs, right? | 你确定你愿意卖卵子赚钱吗 |
| [15:40] | Totally. What do I care? | 当然 这有什么所谓 |
| [15:41] | I’ve got a million of ’em. | 反正我有好几百万个 |
| [15:42] | I’m happy to lose a few. More room for beer. | 少几个卵子也挺好 能多装点啤酒 |
| [15:45] | Lose some eggs, more room for beer. | 少留点卵子 多装点啤酒 |
| [15:47] | It’s crazy that’s not their slogan. | 他们居然没拿来当标语 |
| [15:49] | So what’d they ask you on the application? | 申请表上都问了什么问题啊 |
| [15:51] | You know, income, hobbies, | 老生常谈啊 收入 兴趣 |
| [15:52] | “Did you ever have sex in Africa?” | “有没有在非洲有过性行为” |
| [15:54] | I wish. | 我倒希望呢 |
| [15:56] | The closest I ever got was a dude once | 我最接近的一次 也就是一男的 |
| [15:58] | put his hand up my skirt in an ethiopian restaurant. | 在非洲餐厅里把手伸到我裙子里非礼我 |
| [16:02] | You know, now that we’re here, | 话说 来到这里以后 |
| [16:03] | I think it’s kind of wonderful that places like this exist | 我其实觉得这地方也很美好呢 |
| [16:05] | to help women who can’t have babies have babies. | 能帮助不孕的女人完成生育的梦想 |
| [16:08] | Hey, you think they take points off for syphilis? | 如果有梅毒会被扣分吗 |
| [16:14] | Max, I think it’s really noble | 麦克斯 你为我们梦想 |
| [16:15] | what you’re doing to get our dream. | 所做的牺牲真的很伟大 |
| [16:17] | This is a very special day. | 今天是个意义重大的日子 |
| [16:19] | How do you spell “chlamydia”? | “衣原体感染”[性病]怎么拼啊 |
| [16:22] | Well, no “K”s, | 是C开头不是K |
| [16:23] | and I personally wouldn’t heart the “I.” | 也可以不用画个小心装可爱 |
| [16:26] | Oh, thanks. | 谢了 |
| [16:27] | And do I gotta put here if my brother touched a kid? | 那我兄弟猥亵儿童的往事需要写上吗 |
| [16:31] | Max Black. | 麦克斯·布莱克 |
| [16:33] | Thank you for your interest, | 感谢您的抬爱 |
| [16:34] | but I’m afraid we’re gonna have to pass. | 但很遗憾 我们无法接受您的卵子 |
| [16:36] | Why? I didn’t have sex in Africa. | 为什么 我没在非洲有过性行为啊 |
| [16:38] | Yes, I know, that was your one plus, | 是的 有给您加一分 |
| [16:41] | But under “Family history,” | 但家庭历史栏 |
| [16:42] | You put “Drinking” and “Secrets.” | 您填了”酗酒”与”秘密” |
| [16:45] | I was being honest. | 我是诚实回答啊 |
| [16:47] | Yeah, maybe too honest, because under “Education”, | 您可能太诚实了 因为在”教育程度”栏 |
| [16:51] | you wrote, “Jeopardy reruns,” | 您填写了”看益智节目重播” |
| [16:53] | and we’re really looking for college graduates. | 而我们主要是想找大学毕业生 |
| [16:55] | Jeez, I’ll take “Elitist” for 500, Alex. | 靠 主持人 我选”精英主义”500块 |
| [16:55] | 益智节目《危险边缘》中 参赛者得在不同类别的问题中 选择不同难度与价值的问题回答 | |
| [16:59] | Sorry, we’re looking for girls | 抱歉 我们是想找 |
| [17:01] | that come from Ivy league schools | 常春藤盟校毕业 |
| [17:03] | and have impressive family backgrounds. | 而且有优良家庭背景的女孩 |
| [17:05] | Maybe her eggs didn’t go to Wharton | 虽然她的卵子不像我 |
| [17:07] | and graduate at the top of their class like I did, | 有上过沃顿商学院 并以尖子生的身份毕业 |
| [17:09] | but just look at her. | 但你看看她 |
| [17:11] | who wouldn’t want a baby with such strength, beauty, | 谁不会想要这么坚强 貌美 |
| [17:14] | and a rack so great it could breast-feed itself? | 胸器棒到能自我哺乳的女性的卵子呢 |
| [17:18] | You went to Wharton? | 你是沃顿毕业的吗 |
| [17:19] | We pay $20,000 for Ivy league eggs. | 常春藤毕业生我们付两万块哦 |
| [17:28] | Wow, we’re taking blood already? | 哇 直接就抽血啦 |
| [17:30] | I guess going to Wharton does put you on the fast track. | 上过沃顿还真是让你领先普通人一大步啊 |
| [17:33] | Just part of the process to become a donor. | 只是当捐赠者的手续罢了 |
| [17:35] | I’m gonna go get some vials, and I’ll be right back. | 我去拿点试管 马上回来 |
| [17:39] | It’s so cool of you to do this. | 你愿意这么做真是太酷了 |
| [17:40] | It says a lot about you. | 能看出你是个怎样的人 |
| [17:42] | You know what says a lot about me? | 你知道什么能看出我是个怎样的人吗 |
| [17:43] | The fact that I know she tied you off wrong. | 我能看出她橡皮管绑法错误[施打毒品需绑] |
| [17:46] | I’m happy to do it. | 我很乐意来牺牲 |
| [17:47] | It’s a small price to pay to make our dream come true. | 为了让我们圆梦 这点代价不算什么 |
| [17:50] | I’m doin’ this to pay down some debt. | 我是来卖卵还债的 |
| [17:52] | I’m real deep ’cause of powerball. | 我买彩票搞得债台高筑 |
| [17:56] | Whoa, dude, how did you get through? | 兄台 你是怎么通过筛选的 |
| [17:57] | I went to Harvard. | 我是哈佛毕业生 |
| [17:58] | I’m like crazy-good at math. | 我可是个数学天才啊 |
| [18:02] | Max, she’s making me nervous. | 麦克斯 她把我搞得都紧张了 |
| [18:03] | Close the curtain. | 拉上帘子 |
| [18:04] | And frankly, I’m a little resentful. | 而且我还有点小不爽呢 |
| [18:05] | I didn’t get into Harvard. | 我都没考进哈佛 |
| [18:08] | Are you sure you’re okay with this? | 你确定你要干这事吗 |
| [18:09] | – ’cause you seem a little jumpy. – No, I’m fine. | -你看起来有点神经紧张 -我没事啊 |
| [18:11] | They’re just taking a little blood. | 他们就抽一点血而已嘛 |
| [18:13] | Or from the looks of it, | 现在看起来 |
| [18:14] | they’re taking all of it. | 他们是想把我抽干 |
| [18:16] | There better be a nice juice and a cookie after this. | 之后敢给我烂饼干果汁你们就惨了[捐血赠食] |
| [18:19] | Please relax. It’s only eight vials. | 请放轻松 抽八试管而已 |
| [18:22] | They gotta take a lot to make sure they don’t get a kid | 他们会抽一大堆 以防有变种 |
| [18:24] | with, like, another kid growing out of it. | 或是畸形婴儿 |
| [18:28] | Max, this all just got very real. | 麦克斯 我才感觉要来真的 |
| [18:30] | – Hold my hand. – You know I don’t hold hands. | -牵住我的手 -你知道我不牵手的 |
| [18:32] | Oh, you lesbians are so high maintenance. | 你们这些死拉拉真是难搞 |
| [18:36] | Please? | 拜托嘛 |
| [18:37] | You don’t think I’m gonna give away my best egg, right? | 我应该不会刚好卖掉我最棒的那颗卵吧 |
| [18:39] | I’m not gonna give away the concert pianist | 我可不想卖掉钢琴演奏家卵 |
| [18:42] | and get stuck with the guy who breaks into homes | 而留下会入室抢劫 |
| [18:43] | and smells women’s underwear? | 并闻女性内衣物的变态卵吧 |
| [18:45] | Well, either way, you got a kid with a passion. | 无论如何 两个孩子都很有激情啊 |
| [18:48] | But you don’t have to do this. | 你可以不必这么做的 |
| [18:49] | No, I can do this. It’s for our dream. | 为了我们的梦想 我可以的 |
| [18:51] | But you don’t have to do this. | 但你真的不必这么做 |
| [18:52] | I can do this. Put it in. | 我可以 抽吧 |
| [18:54] | It’s already in. | 已经开抽了 |
| [18:55] | I can’t do this. | 我不能这么做 |
| [18:56] | I’m not trashy, I’m not some farm animal. | 我又不堕落 也不是农场动物 |
| [19:00] | Oh! Oh, my God! | 我的天啊 |
| [19:01] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [19:06] | Oh, my God. | 我的老天啊 |
| [19:07] | I am so, so sorry! | 真的很对不起 |
| [19:10] | You know what would be cute here? | 你知道这里很适合开什么店吗 |
| [19:11] | A cupcake store. | 小蛋糕店 |
| [19:19] | Hi, Max. Oh, it’s chilly outside. | 麦克斯 外面真冷啊 |
| [19:22] | Nipples everywhere. | 人人都冷得激凸啊 |
| [19:26] | Have a seat. I’ll be right over. | 请坐 我马上过来 |
| [19:27] | Oh, that’s okay. I texted my order in on the way. | 不用 我来的路上就先短信点餐了 |
| [19:31] | Hey baby, I got your text. | 宝贝 我收到你短信了 |
| [19:33] | Did you get my erotic haiku? | 收到我的情欲俳句了吗 |
| [19:35] | I did. | 收到 |
| [19:36] | Did you get the picture I sent of me and the dustbuster? | 收到我与吸尘器的情欲艳照了吗 |
| [19:39] | No, I didn’t. | 没有啊 |
| [19:43] | Oh, no, grandpa Yorgish! | 惨了 发到约基旭爷爷那里了 |
| [19:48] | Look. | 你看 |
| [19:49] | Earl framed our blurb. | 厄尔把宣传文章给表框了 |
| [19:51] | He did? That is so sweet. | 真的吗 他真有心 |
| [19:54] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [19:56] | I always saw it as bigger on the wall in our shop. | 我一直觉得这有机会挂到店里的墙上呢 |
| [19:59] | Look, the shop is an amazing idea, | 弄个店面的确是不错的主意 |
| [20:02] | And, if it’s not that space right now, | 这次的店面可能少了点缘分 |
| [20:03] | it’ll be another. | 下次还会有的嘛 |
| [20:05] | I mean, there have to be mass murders all over Brooklyn, right? | 布鲁克林区到处都有疯狂屠杀 店面总会有的 |
| [20:08] | If we’re lucky. | 我们够幸运就有了 |
| [20:11] | And, even if it didn’t work out, | 就算到时候没成功 |
| [20:12] | it’s still the closest I’ve ever come | 但也会是我这一生 |
| [20:14] | to something great, and that’s cool. | 最接近成功的一次 那也很好啊 |
| [20:16] | And someday we’ll find someone crazy enough to lend us money. | 总有一天会找到愿意借钱给我们的疯子 |
| [20:20] | I say that because, if you can convince me to believe a dream, | 我说这个是因为 你都能说服我相信梦想 |
| [20:22] | You can get anyone. | 天下没人能不被你说服了 |
| [20:23] | Pickup. | 上菜 |
| [20:25] | Here you go, Sophie. That’s $11.25. | 苏菲 給 总共11块25 |
| [20:28] | Oh, you take a check, right? | 你们收支票的吧 |
| [20:32] | This is for $20,000. | 这是2万块支票呢 |
| [20:34] | Oh, is it? I thought it was for $20. | 是吗 不是20块吗 |
| [20:37] | Oh, well. Keep it. | 算了 你们收着吧 |
| [20:41] | Maybe you could use it for your dream, | 看你们是要拿去完成梦想 |
| [20:42] | or to get your legs waxed, or something. | 还是你要拿去除腿毛 随便啦 |
| [20:46] | – Sophie, are you serious? – Yes. | -苏菲 你是认真的吗 -是的 |
| [20:48] | Sophie, this is really, really amazing. | 苏菲 你这举动太太太棒了 |
| [20:51] | Oh, come on. I don’t need a parade. | 拜托哦 老娘不用你们礼赞 |
| [20:54] | Just keep the cupcakes coming. | 天天送小蛋糕来就是了 |
| [20:59] | Max, do you know what this means? | 麦克斯 你知道这代表什么吗 |
| [21:01] | We are going to be a Williamsburg must-have. | 我们要成为威廉斯堡必尝好滋味了 |
| [21:04] | We’re getting our dream. | 我们要实现梦想了 |
| [21:06] | I feel like you want a hug. | 看起来你想来个爱的抱抱 |
| [21:08] | I do. | 没错 |