| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:05] | What are you doing back so early? | 你怎么回来得这么早 |
| [00:07] | Did chestnut forget his wallet? | 栗宝忘了带钱包了吗 |
| [00:09] | No, we saw that cat we don’t like. | 不是 我们看见不喜欢的那只猫 |
| [00:12] | I tried to spray it with a water bottle, | 我试着用水瓶喷水吓唬它 |
| [00:13] | but it just laughed at us, so we ran. | 但它不屑一笑 我们只好落荒而逃 |
| [00:16] | What are you doing out here? | 你在外面干嘛 |
| [00:18] | Enjoying the day. | 享受美好时光啊 |
| [00:19] | The coming of autumn is my favorite time of year. | 即将到来的秋天 是我一年中最爱的时节 |
| [00:22] | I love the leaves. | 我爱死落叶了 |
| [00:24] | Oh, gross! A condom! | 恶心死了 居然有避孕套 |
| [00:28] | Wow, I guess autumn really is coming. | 哇 我想秋天真的”来了” |
| [00:32] | Who would throw that over our wall? | 谁会把这玩意从墙外扔进来 |
| [00:34] | That cat. | 那只臭猫 |
| [00:35] | What? He’s not only arrogant, | 干嘛 他不但傲慢嚣张 |
| [00:37] | he wants us to know he has sex. | 还想让我们知道 他也有性生活 |
| [00:41] | All I know is, if I had nine lives, | 我只知道 如果我有九条命 |
| [00:42] | I wouldn’t wear a condom. | 我才不会戴套呢 |
| [00:55] | Hey, you know, we should start figuring out | 我们应该开始想想 |
| [00:57] | what to do with chestnut this winter, | 这个冬天怎么安置栗宝 |
| [00:59] | now that it’s already peak condom dropping season. | 现在已经到了乱扔避孕套的高峰时节 |
| [01:02] | You’re right, chestnut is the most important thing. | 你说得对 栗宝是最重要的事情 |
| [01:04] | But more importantly, what do you think | 但更重要的是 你觉得 |
| [01:06] | Of this vintage sweater I chose for my date with Andy? | 我为今天约会特意选择的毛衣如何啊 |
| [01:09] | It’s nice. | 还不错 |
| [01:10] | But won’t it be hard to pull off over your head in the cab? | 但激情时 这衣服在计程车里难脱吧 |
| [01:13] | I’m assuming you’ll do it in a cab. | 我假设你们会在计程车里开搞 |
| [01:15] | Max, it’s a first date. That’s not appropriate. | 麦克斯 我们才第一次约会 不合适吧 |
| [01:19] | Is it? | 会吗 |
| [01:20] | I mean, I’ve never dated poor. | 我从来没跟穷人约过会 |
| [01:23] | What is acceptable on a first date? | 初次约会那些事是可以接受的啊 |
| [01:25] | Well, I’m pretty classy, so anal? | 我很优雅的 肛交吧 |
| [01:37] | I’m not that poor. | 我还没穷到那个地步 |
| [01:40] | Well, you better give him something to keep him interested | 你最好给他点甜头 留住他 |
| [01:41] | because he owns a candy store, | 因为那家伙有一家糖果店 |
| [01:43] | and I want free candy forever. | 而老娘想一辈子都有免费糖果吃 |
| [01:46] | There he is. | 他来了 |
| [01:47] | Can you bring him out in the yard, | 你能把他带到后院吗 |
| [01:48] | so he can see me in my sweater next to my horse? | 让他看到我穿着这身站在我的马旁 |
| [01:51] | Okay, freak. | 没问题 怪人 |
| [01:54] | But next time a guy comes knocking for me, | 不过下次有男人敲门找我 |
| [01:56] | you have to take him to my bedroom, | 你要把他带进我的卧室 |
| [01:57] | so he can see me in my slayer shirt | 好让他看见我穿着杀手乐队t恤 |
| [01:59] | next to my glo worm filled with pot. | 躺在我塞满大麻的虫虫公仔旁边 |
| [02:04] | Hello, sir, I’m here to pick up your daughter. | 你好 先生 我是来接您女儿的 |
| [02:06] | And what exactly are your intentions? | 你要接她去干嘛 |
| [02:08] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [02:09] | Maybe take her on a romantic hayride, | 或许带她去来一次浪漫的夜游 |
| [02:11] | k’nock her out with chloroform, | 然后用氯仿弄晕她 |
| [02:12] | and sell her kidney for a new iPad. | 拿她的肾脏卖钱买新iPad |
| [02:15] | Son! | 好小伙啊 |
| [02:18] | Come outside. | 来后院吧 |
| [02:18] | Miss Channing wants you to see her looking like the girl | 钱宁小姐想让自己看起来像是 |
| [02:20] | who got cut from the J.Crew catalog for being too white. | 因肤色过白 而被踢出白人购物目录的女模特 |
| [02:24] | Miss Channing? Max, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. | 钱宁小姐 麦克斯 慢着 |
| [02:27] | Caroline is Caroline Channing Caroline Channing? | 卡洛琳就是那个卡洛琳·钱宁吗 |
| [02:29] | Yeah, she used to be a billionaire, | 对啊 她以前是个亿万千金 |
| [02:31] | but now all her money is in here. | 但现在她所有的钱都在这里 |
| [02:33] | Oh, wait, some of these are buttons. | 不对 里面有些是纽扣 |
| [02:36] | Oh. Okay. | 好吧 |
| [02:37] | Yeah, I just thought she was a regular Williamsburg girl. | 我还以为她只是一个普通的威廉斯堡姑娘 |
| [02:39] | No. She doesn’t try that hard. | 不 她还没这么堕落 |
| [02:45] | And I was wrong. | 看来我低估了她 |
| [02:47] | Oh, hi. I didn’t hear you knock. | 你好啊 刚没听到你敲门 |
| [02:50] | Well, you two have a good time. | 你们俩好好玩 |
| [02:52] | And, young man, if you don’t swing by your store | 年轻人 如果你不顺便从你的店 |
| [02:54] | and bring me some pixie sticks, | 给我带点精灵糖条 |
| [02:55] | you’ll never see my little girl again. | 下次就别想再见到我乖女儿 |
| [02:56] | Way ahead of you. | 早想到了 |
| [02:58] | Yes! | 太棒了 |
| [03:01] | Yeah, definitely anal. | 没错 绝对要肛交 |
| [03:14] | Oh, baby. | 小宝贝 |
| [03:15] | look who’s a half hour late for work. | 瞧瞧是谁上班迟到了半小时 |
| [03:18] | Must have been a pretty hot date with the candy man. | 想必是跟糖果男约会得太火热哦 |
| [03:20] | So did you touch his whatchamacallit? | 你有碰到他”那话儿”吗 |
| [03:24] | Did you bring him to almond joy? | 他有碰到你的”杏仁尖”吗 |
| [03:27] | His butterfingers got nowhere near my mounds. | 他的黄油糖指就没接近过我的”投手丘” |
| [03:30] | Now, if we could be adults for a second– | 我们可以像成年人说话了吗 |
| [03:32] | Well, your mounds are more like sno-caps, | 你的”投手丘”更像是”锥子糖” |
| [03:33] | but continue. | 不过继续说 |
| [03:36] | Well, nothing happened. | 什么都没有发生 |
| [03:38] | Even after four hours of me breathing heavily and saying… | 甚至在我连续四小时呼吸急促地说 |
| [03:42] | “I’m having a really good time” | “我真的玩得很开心哦” |
| [03:47] | Look, I don’t want to be this girl, but I think– | 我真的不想说这种话 但我觉得 |
| [03:50] | think he might be gay. | 他可能是同性恋 |
| [03:52] | He’s gay because he’s not turned on | 就因为你连续四小时的口臭攻势 |
| [03:53] | by four hours of coffee breath? | 没有挑逗成功 他就是同性恋吗 |
| [04:00] | What’s up? | 怎么了 |
| [04:02] | I’m having a really good time. | 我真的玩得很开心哦 |
| [04:06] | I must go to the men’s room right now. | 我得立刻去一趟洗手间了 |
| [04:15] | That proves nothing. | 那完全不代表什么 |
| [04:17] | Oleg is always looking for an excuse to put it somewhere. | 奥列格总是在找理由来”乱插” |
| [04:20] | Why do you think we don’t serve bagels anymore? | 不然我们也不用停止供应面包”圈”了 |
| [04:27] | Andy is not gay. | 安迪不是同性恋 |
| [04:29] | And I’m not just setting you up for a life of confusing, | 我不会为了免费的糖果 就把你推入 |
| [04:31] | self-questioning non-sex for the free candy, | 一辈子只有迷惑质疑 而无性生活的火坑 |
| [04:33] | although that does sound like me. | 虽然很像我会干的事 |
| [04:36] | He is really into you. | 他真的对你很感兴趣 |
| [04:37] | He might be into me, | 他可能是对我感兴趣 |
| [04:39] | but he doesn’t seem to want to get into me. | 但他似乎对我完全不感”性趣” |
| [04:43] | Maybe he just wants me as a friend. | 或许他只想跟我做朋友 |
| [04:45] | No way. | 不可能 |
| [04:46] | You are, like, 80 pounds and a coke addiction shy | 等你再胖36公斤 并有羞于承认的可乐瘾 |
| [04:48] | from being qualified to be a gay guy’s female friend. | 你才有可能当上基佬的女性朋友 |
| [04:52] | What’s so important you two have to be in here | 什么事这么重要 你们俩得像学生妹一样 |
| [04:54] | gabbing like schoolgirls when there are customers waiting? | 在里面闲聊 而不去招呼客人 |
| [04:56] | If you must know, | 如果你非要知道的话 |
| [04:57] | Caroline and I were discussing if someone we know is gay. | 我们在讨论一个朋友是不是同性恋 |
| [05:00] | I once had a homosexual experience in college. | 我在大学时有过一回同性恋的经验 |
| [05:09] | With another girl? | 跟小姑娘搞拉拉情吗 |
| [05:13] | No, there was a boy who was interested in me. | 不 当时有个男生对我感兴趣 |
| [05:16] | He was captain of the football team. | 他是足球队的队长 |
| [05:17] | He would come to my dorm room | 他会来我的宿舍 |
| [05:19] | and ask me to do his homework, | 让我帮他写作业 |
| [05:21] | and then he would leave. | 写完他就走了 |
| [05:24] | Oh. Never mind. | 算了 当我没说 |
| [05:25] | I never had a homosexual experience. | 我没有同性恋经验 |
| [05:29] | Keep wearing those sweaters, Han. | 阿憨呀 继续穿你的毛背心吧 |
| [05:30] | It’ll happen. | 有天他们会找上你的 |
| [05:37] | And if you think your life sucks now, | 如果现在你觉得人生很悲剧 |
| [05:39] | it just got worse. | 那刚才又加剧了 |
| [05:40] | Look, a new hipster strain. | 瞧 新品种的嬉皮士 |
| [05:41] | Ironic Amish. | 讽刺的阿米什人 |
| [05:41] | 阿米什人是美国的一群基督新教再洗礼派门诺会信徒 拒绝汽车及电力等现代设施 过着简朴的生活 | |
| [05:44] | No way. I’m taking care of | 不行 我要亲自出马 |
| [05:45] | these two butter churners right now. | 收拾这两个搅屎棍 |
| [05:49] | Look, I’m telling you what I told Mumford and Sons, | 我重复一遍我对某民谣摇滚乐队说的话 |
| [05:52] | Get out. | 滚出去 |
| [05:56] | Go. | 走啊 |
| [05:57] | Go, you hipster amish wannabes. | 走啊 你们两个想装阿米什人的嬉皮士 |
| [06:00] | But we really are amish. | 可我们真的是阿米什人啊 |
| [06:01] | Yes, we’re here on rumspringa. | 是啊 我们是来体验社会的 |
| [06:04] | And I’m here on a little bit of vodka. | 而我是来耍点小酒疯的 |
| [06:07] | It’s sort of like what you might call spring break. | 我们体验社会就类似你们的”春假” |
| [06:09] | We get to leave the ways of the Amish | 我们可以脱离阿米什人的生活方式 |
| [06:11] | and experience the modern world. | 来体现下现代世界的活法 |
| [06:12] | Well, I beggeth thy forgiveness. | 我恳请你们见谅 |
| [06:15] | Haveth a seat-eth in the booth-eth. | 有请两位客人上雅座稍候 |
| [06:19] | Have a seat in the booth. | 找个卡座坐吧 |
| [06:23] | Earl, I got two amish in my booth. | 厄尔 有两个阿米什人坐在我的卡座耶 |
| [06:25] | Well, you let them know right up front | 你得先跟他们声明 |
| [06:27] | that we don’t accept travelers checks or livestock. | 结账不能用旅行支票和牲口 |
| [06:33] | So Amish, huh? | 你们是阿米什人啊 |
| [06:34] | Yes, ma’am. From pennsylvania. | 是的 女士 来自宾夕法尼亚州 |
| [06:36] | “Ma’am”? | “女士” |
| [06:37] | You know what, that’s kind of hot. | 这称呼还蛮带劲的 |
| [06:40] | I always thought I’d have to wait | 我总是觉得我得 |
| [06:41] | 20 more years to be a cougar, | 再等个20年才能成为欲望主妇 |
| [06:43] | but, rawr, here I am. | 但现在惊觉 我要变身了 |
| [06:46] | Why don’t I bring you boys some coffee, on me? | 不如给你们俩上杯咖啡吧 我请客 |
| [06:49] | We can’t drink coffee, ma’am. | 我们不能喝咖啡 女士 |
| [06:50] | Coffee is the devil in a cup. | 咖啡是杯子里的魔鬼 |
| [06:53] | We can do whatever we want, Jacob, | 我们想干嘛就干嘛 雅各布 |
| [06:54] | we’re in new york. | 现在可是在纽约 |
| [06:55] | Yeah, Jacob. Listen to, uh– | 对啊 雅各布 你就听… |
| [06:56] | – Jebediah. – For real? | -杰巴达亚 -真的假的 |
| [07:02] | Did you see the size of her nursers? | 你看到她那对”奶瓶”有多大吗 |
| [07:11] | Those guys are for real Amish. | 那俩家伙是真的阿米什人 |
| [07:12] | I love the amish culture. | 我爱他们的文化 |
| [07:14] | You love every culture. | 你什么都文化都爱 |
| [07:16] | You salute the flags at IHOP when we walk by. | 你连煎饼屋的旗帜都致敬呢 |
| [07:21] | Oh, my God. That’s it. | 天啊 我想到了 |
| [07:23] | Max, question. | 麦克斯 问你个问题 |
| [07:24] | What are the Amish known for? | 阿米什人因什么而闻名 |
| [07:26] | Oh, no. It’s sixth grade all over again. | 不是吧 重演小学六年级的桥段 |
| [07:28] | Just give me an “F” and move on. | 就直接给我个”不及格”吧 |
| [07:30] | Barns. They build barns, and we– | 马棚 他们很会建造马棚 |
| [07:32] | We need a barn for chestnut. | 而栗宝需要个马棚 |
| [07:34] | Come on. And let me do the talking. | 跟我来 我负责讲话 |
| [07:36] | I am very good at manipulating young boys. | 我非常擅长摆布小男孩 |
| [07:39] | I once got a ten-year-old I was babysitting | 有次我给一个10岁的小孩当保姆 |
| [07:40] | to buy me a box of pop-tarts with his allowance. | 我让他乖乖拿出零用钱 给我买了一盒甜点 |
| [07:51] | So this is our place. Not much, but– | 这就是我们的公寓 地方不大 |
| [07:54] | You have so many possessions. | 你们有那么多东西 |
| [07:56] | – Are you rich, ma’am? – Yes. | -女士 你是不是有钱人 -是的 |
| [07:59] | And I have to say, this “Ma’am” Thing | 不得不说 那声”女士” |
| [08:01] | is still working for me. | 仍然让我心驰荡漾啊 |
| [08:04] | Um, okay, Jacob. That’s enough with the lights. | 雅各布 别玩电灯了 |
| [08:07] | There will be plenty of time for fun with electricity tomorrow, | 明天会有很多时间 可以好好体验电力 |
| [08:10] | But it’s late. | 但现在很晚了 |
| [08:11] | Let’s discuss sleeping arrangements. | 我们来安排怎么睡吧 |
| [08:13] | You two can sleep out here, | 你们俩在外面睡 |
| [08:14] | and Max and I will sleep in her bed. | 我和麦克斯睡她的床 |
| [08:15] | – Does that work for you? – Okay. | -可以吗 -可以 |
| [08:18] | Oh, sorry. I left my bra. | 抱歉 我忘了拿走我的胸罩了 |
| [08:20] | Your-your b-b-bra? | 你的胸胸胸 罩 |
| [08:22] | Jacob, stop acting like a child. | 雅各布 别跟个小孩一样 |
| [08:24] | I’m sorry about him. | 我真替他脸红 |
| [08:25] | Don’t be. | 大可不必 |
| [08:26] | At least it was her bra. | 还好是她的胸罩 |
| [08:27] | Mine would have killed the kid. | 如果是我的 那孩子早挂了 |
| [08:33] | So I was thinking we could drive our truck | 我想着明早可以开车 |
| [08:35] | to my uncle’s lumberyard in the morning | 去我叔叔的贮木场 |
| [08:36] | and get the wood for the barn. | 弄些木材回来做马棚 |
| [08:37] | Okay, but there seems to be plenty of wood right here. | 好啊 不过似乎这里也有根”硬木”啊 |
| [08:40] | Oh, hello. | 注意点好吗 |
| [08:43] | Don’t be embarrassed, Jacob. | 不要觉得丢人 雅各布 |
| [08:45] | It’s perfectly natural when you’re exposed to new things. | 当你接触新鲜事物时 这是自然反应 |
| [08:47] | The first time I saw a picture of those fat twins on scooters, | 我第一次见到小摩托上的胖双胞胎照片时 |
| [08:50] | I was hard for days. | 也性奋了好几天呢 |
| [08:53] | Why don’t you two go outside and play with the horse? | 你们俩何不出去跟栗宝玩 |
| [08:55] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [08:58] | And thank you for letting us stay at your place. | 谢谢你们让我们住在这里 |
| [09:00] | Your home is dope. | 你们家酷毙了 |
| [09:01] | You don’t even know what that means, Jebediah. | 你都不知道那个词是什么意思 杰巴达亚 |
| [09:03] | It’s hipster talk, Jacob, and it’s awesome. | 嬉皮士就这么说 雅各布 超棒的 |
| [09:09] | Are we sure this is a good idea? | 你确定这是个好主意吗 |
| [09:11] | You saw how turned on he was. | 你也看见那小伙多性奋了 |
| [09:13] | He was practically raising a barn in his pants. | 他都在自己裤裆里”盖起”一间马棚了 |
| [09:17] | We’re fine, they’re fine. | 我们没事 他们也没事 |
| [09:19] | Just a typical male reaction | 这是典型的男性反应 |
| [09:20] | to a couple of hot cougars like us. | 因为遇见像我们这样的性感熟女 |
| [09:23] | Ra. Rawr. | 如饥似渴 如狼似虎 |
| [09:26] | You know what isn’t a typical male reaction? | 你知道什么不是典型的男性反应吗 |
| [09:29] | Not calling or texting a girl you’re interested in. | 不给自己喜欢的姑娘打电话和发短信 |
| [09:31] | Well, why don’t you just text Andy, then? | 何不你给安迪发短信呢 |
| [09:33] | What should I text? | 我应该发什么啊 |
| [09:35] | “Why so gay, question mark”? | “干嘛这么基 问号” |
| [09:38] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [09:39] | The only thing I’ve ever texted to a guy is, | 我唯一给男人发过的短信是 |
| [09:41] | “There’s a cop behind you, walk past me.” | “你身后有警察 别停下跟我说话” |
| [09:45] | Just say “Hey.” | 就发个”好吗”得了 |
| [09:47] | Okay. I can do that. | 好吧 发这个可以 |
| [09:50] | “Hey.” | “好吗” |
| [09:52] | Huh, it autocorrected to “Gay.” | 手机都自动更正为”好基”了 |
| [09:56] | Even the phone’s getting that vibe. | 连我手机都感觉到了 |
| [09:59] | There, sent it. “Hey.” | 好了 发出去了 |
| [10:01] | Do you think I could grab a beer? | 我可以拿瓶啤酒喝吗 |
| [10:03] | – Yes. – No. | -行啊 -不行 |
| [10:04] | Look, they’re working for us for free. | 人家免费帮我们盖马棚呢 |
| [10:07] | One beer each. | 一人拿一瓶吧 |
| [10:08] | Awesome, awesome, awesome. | 好棒 好棒 好棒 |
| [10:10] | Max, you can’t give underage kids beer in our home. | 麦克斯 怎么能在咱家给未成年人酒喝啊 |
| [10:13] | Why? Isn’t that what love is? | 为啥不行 这不就是爱的真谛吗 |
| [10:17] | Jebediah, beer is the devil’s saliva. | 杰巴达亚 啤酒是魔鬼的口水 |
| [10:22] | Neighbors come a-calling after midnight in Williamsburg? | 在威廉斯堡 邻居午夜过后还来敦亲睦邻啊 |
| [10:24] | Where is this William? | 这位威廉是谁啊 |
| [10:25] | I’d like to compliment him on his burg. | 我想当面夸赞他这堡 |
| [10:29] | Hi, girls, I just came down for a cupcake– | 姑娘们 我就下来想吃个小… |
| [10:32] | Wait a minute, wait a minute. | 等等 等等 |
| [10:35] | Hold on. | 稍等一下 |
| [10:38] | Who are the two cute puppies in the kitchen? | 你们厨房这两位可爱的小乖乖是谁啊 |
| [10:41] | Look at you two. | 瞧你们俩 |
| [10:43] | You are the cutest little things. | 真是这世上最可爱小东西了 |
| [10:45] | Yes, you are– | 就是 就是的哦 |
| [10:46] | Ooh, and this one has an erection. | 哎哟 这一个还勃起了呢 |
| [10:55] | Jacob, don’t look directly at her. | 雅各布 别用肉眼直盯她 |
| [10:57] | She’s like an eclipse with boobs. | 她就是巨乳版的日蚀 不可直视 |
| [11:01] | Sorry, girls. | 抱歉 姑娘们 |
| [11:02] | I didn’t mean to interrupt your lovers’ session. | 我无意打断你们的”外送情人服务” |
| [11:05] | Sophie, they’re just here to build a barn for Chestnut. | 苏菲 他们是来帮栗宝盖马棚的啦 |
| [11:07] | Oh, sure. Wink, wink. | 我懂我懂 “眨眼眨眼” |
| [11:12] | “Building a barn,” Is that what we’re calling it now? | “盖马棚” 现在都用这个当代号吗 |
| [11:14] | Wink, wink. | “眨眼眨眼” |
| [11:16] | Caroline’s telling the truth, Sophie. | 苏菲 卡洛琳说的是真话 |
| [11:18] | It’s strictly business. | 跟他们单纯是生意往来 |
| [11:19] | Oh, so you’re paying for them? | 原来是花钱招来的啊 |
| [11:23] | Okay. Ooh la la. | 没问题 |
| [11:27] | How much do they cost? | 他们要多少钱 |
| [11:28] | Because, yeah, I also need a barn. | 我也”想要间马棚” |
| [11:32] | Wink, wink. | “眨眼眨眼” |
| [11:34] | Well, here’s your cupcake, Sophie. Good night. | 苏菲 你要的小蛋糕 晚安啦 |
| [11:36] | Oh, but I want to play with the puppies. | 但人家还想小乖乖玩会 |
| [11:40] | It’s very late. | 时候不早 |
| [11:41] | You can come back in the morning. | 明早再来吧 |
| [11:45] | This is like when they cancelled Christmas in my village. | 这跟我村里圣诞节被取消时一样扫兴 |
| [11:50] | Look, look at his pants. That one misses me. | 你看 看他的裤子 那乖乖想我呢 |
| [11:56] | Nighty night, puppies. | 晚安啦 小乖乖 |
| [12:03] | That must be Andy. | 应该安迪回复了 |
| [12:06] | Emojis? He sent me emojis? | 颜文字 他用表情符号回我 |
| [12:09] | All I get back are tiny, little pictures, | 他居然就用个破小符号回我 |
| [12:10] | when I spent the time and energy to write “Hey”? | 亏我还花了精神跟时间打了个”好吗”呢 |
| [12:14] | Rainbow, dollar sign, muffin. Could be worse. | 彩虹符 钱符 小松饼符 不算差了 |
| [12:17] | I once got naked guy, naked girl, tombstone. | 我有次收到 裸男符 裸女符 坟墓符呢 |
| [12:21] | I wasn’t sure what it meant, but I immediately got tested. | 我理解无能 但我赶紧去做了性病检查 |
| [12:31] | Yep, Chestnut, pretty soon you’ll be safe and sound, | 小栗宝 你很快就能住得舒服安稳了 |
| [12:34] | with a roof over your head, | 有屋顶帮你遮风挡雨 |
| [12:36] | and you and I can finally be safe | 我们再也不用担惊受怕 |
| [12:38] | from the unending torment of that condom-throwing cat. | 不必再被那丢避孕套的臭猫精神折磨了 |
| [12:42] | All ready for my second date. | 准备好要赴第二次约会了 |
| [12:46] | Slut, party of one. | 有骚货大驾光临 |
| [12:48] | Slut, party of one. | 有骚货大驾光临 |
| [12:49] | You know it. | 你懂的 |
| [12:51] | Plus, I’m taking him to that bar | 而且 我还要带他去 |
| [12:52] | where only cheap girls go to get laid. | 那家低档浪妹爱去求欢的酒吧 |
| [12:54] | You know, the one you like. | 就是你爱去的那家酒吧啊 |
| [12:56] | Oh, the Just Slip It Inn? | 那个”进去”吧吗 |
| [12:59] | And if that place plus this outfit | 去那地方加我这身衣服 |
| [13:01] | doesn’t put his pedal to my metal, | 他还继续三过我”门”而不”入” |
| [13:03] | It’s clearly never happening. | 那肯定就没戏了 |
| [13:04] | Well, that outfit’s sexy, but not foolproof. | 这衣服是挺性感 但也不是一看便知吧 |
| [13:07] | Oh, it’s not? Follow me, please. | 还不够明显示意吗 跟我来 |
| [13:13] | Jacob. | 雅各布 |
| [13:17] | And I’m not saying I’m that hot, | 我没说自己真那么诱人 |
| [13:18] | but I’ve never seen anybody drop wood | 但我好歹没见过有人能 |
| [13:20] | and get wood at the same time. | 同时掉硬木又起”硬棒”的哦 |
| [13:23] | Bye, baby, mama’s going to get day-laid. | 宝贝再见 妈咪要在白天滚床单啦 |
| [13:28] | Hey, Max. | 麦克斯 |
| [13:29] | Would it be okay if we take our shirts off? | 你介意我们脱掉上衣吗 |
| [13:30] | – We’re sweating, and– – Yes. | -我们满身大汗又… -快 |
| [13:32] | I mean, that’s-sure, whatever. | 我是说 都好啦 随便 |
| [13:34] | if you want to. | 你们决定吧 |
| [13:39] | Oh, crap. I don’t have any ones. | 靠 我身上没小额纸钞[舞男小费] |
| [13:42] | Could you spray me with that water bottle? | 能用喷水器喷我们身子吗 |
| [13:44] | Oh, right. Oh, I’m going to spray you. | 想得美呢 用这种伎俩 |
| [13:47] | Is that really what you think is going to happen? | 你们觉得这烂招现实吗 |
| [13:49] | I’m going to spray you, and then I’m going to get turned on, | 我洒水让你”湿身” 然后我看得欲火焚身 |
| [13:51] | and then I’ll start spraying stutter stud over there, | 然后我也洒洒这匹结巴的小种马 |
| [13:53] | and then we’re all having sex? | 最后一起玩3p吗 |
| [13:55] | No, Max. I got him. | 不用 麦克斯 我来 |
| [13:56] | Here you go, puppies. | 来吧 小乖乖 |
| [14:02] | Oh, now I wet the shy one. | 现在换打湿害羞的那个 |
| [14:08] | Oh, and, boys, I’m going to need you to come up here next | 小乖乖们 等会我也想请你们上来 |
| [14:11] | and fix something because it broke. | 我有东西坏了 来帮我修修吧 |
| [14:15] | What’s broken? | 什么东西坏了 |
| [14:23] | That. | 那个 |
| [14:29] | Look at the couple behind us. | 看我们后面那对情侣 |
| [14:30] | I mean, save some for the men’s room stall, | 在这里就快全套 等会去厕所”搞”啥啊 |
| [14:32] | Am I right? | 你说对吧 |
| [14:34] | I’m having a really good time. | 我真的玩得很开心 |
| [14:36] | What? | 什么 |
| [14:37] | I’m having a really good time! | 我真的玩得很开心 |
| [14:41] | I think we need more drinks. | 我去添点饮料吧 |
| [14:42] | Would you like a Jack and Coke? | 要来个杰克可乐吗[威士忌混可乐] |
| [14:43] | Or maybe just a Jack? | 还是你想要个男人”杰克” |
| [14:54] | Oh, no, if you’re calling me, then the date’s not going well. | 惨了 你会打来 肯定是约会不顺 |
| [14:57] | I’m not crazy, right? | 我没发疯有幻觉吧 |
| [14:58] | He did hunt me down and beg me to go out with him? | 是他主动找我 还求我跟他约会的吧 |
| [15:00] | Nothing again? | 又没进展啊 |
| [15:02] | Well, maybe he’s not feeling that place. | 可能这地方撩不起他的欲火吧 |
| [15:04] | Well, then he’s the only one, | 全场就他坐怀不乱 |
| [15:06] | ’cause it’s so horny here, I’m about to have sex | 这里的气氛淫乱到我都想跟 |
| [15:08] | with the couple at the next table, | 隔壁桌的红发情侣开搞了 |
| [15:09] | and they’re both redheads, which is so gross. | 逼得我都愿意跟红发男女乱搞了 真是超恶心 |
| [15:12] | Hold on a second. Um, hey, guys? | 等等 你们俩 |
| [15:15] | Yeah? | 有事吗 |
| [15:17] | Perfect, thanks. | 很好 没事啦 |
| [15:19] | I mean, why did he even ask me out again? | 那他干嘛还约我出去啊 |
| [15:21] | Well, I kind of might have said s– | 可能是因为我说了什… |
| [15:23] | Max! Now I’m even more humiliated. | 麦克斯 这下我更羞愧了 |
| [15:26] | You forced a gay guy to go out with me? | 你居然逼个基佬跟我约会 |
| [15:29] | Who am I? The girl with lupus at the prom? | 我是多烂啊 跟毕业舞会上的狼疮妹同等级吗 |
| [15:32] | Andy is not gay. | 安迪不是同性恋 |
| [15:34] | He hasn’t said one mean thing about strangers | 我跟他相处时 从没听过他像基佬一样 |
| [15:36] | while I’ve been around him. | 对陌生人说刻薄的话 |
| [15:38] | Well, then he’s paralyzed from the waist down | 可能他是个靠着正常走路掩盖自己 |
| [15:40] | and hides it by walking. | 下半身不遂的男人吧 |
| [15:43] | Okay, that’s it. I’m leaving. | 我受够了 我要走了 |
| [15:44] | No, don’t, I’ll come there. Maybe it’ll help. | 别走 我来找你吧 可能有帮助哦 |
| [15:47] | You two were really hot when I was standing between you. | 我在你们身边的时候 你们俩总打得很火热 |
| [15:49] | True. Okay, and hurry. | 也是 那你快来吧 |
| [15:52] | I don’t want to go home with the redheads. | 我不想最后真跟红发情侣上搞上 |
| [15:53] | Why do they even let them in here? | 酒吧干嘛放红发人进来啊 |
| [15:56] | Leaving here is probably a good idea anyway. | 现在离开对我也好 |
| [15:58] | If I stay any longer, I’m going to do something | 我再待在这里 我怕我就要做一些 |
| [16:00] | I’ll have to pretend to regret. | 得”假装后悔”的”事情”了 |
| [16:08] | How weird running into you guys here. | 在我最爱的酒吧偶遇你们 |
| [16:10] | My favorite bar that I come to all the time just ’cause. | 真是太巧了 我常无来由的就想来这呢 |
| [16:15] | Hi, Andy. These guys are our friends. | 安迪 他们这是我们的朋友 |
| [16:17] | We’re Amish. | 我们是阿米什人 |
| [16:19] | Awesome band name. | 这乐团名不错 |
| [16:21] | Why did you bring them? | 你带他们俩来干嘛 |
| [16:22] | I was afraid to leave them home. | 我不敢把他们留在家里嘛 |
| [16:24] | Sophie was running out of things to break in her apartment. | 苏菲家都快没东西可以故意砸烂了 |
| [16:28] | – So what are you guys drinking? – Beer. | -你们想喝什么呢 -啤酒 |
| [16:30] | Shut it, Jacob, or I will smite thee. | 雅各布 敢乱说我劈死汝 |
| [16:32] | Wait, uh, I’ll go with you. | 等等 我跟你一起去 |
| [16:33] | FYI, I’m leaving with the redheads In five minutes. | 五分钟后没进展 我就跟红发情侣走 |
| [16:39] | Hi, can I get a pitcher of tap, please? | 能给我们来一扎啤酒吗 |
| [16:41] | Would you like to dance, Caroline? | 卡洛琳 你想一起跳舞吗 |
| [16:43] | Oh, thank you. But that is so not my thing. | 谢谢邀请 但我才不干那种事 |
| [16:47] | And besides, that’s not so much a dance floor | 而且 那里根本不算舞池 |
| [16:49] | As an STD mosh pit. | 是性病混合池吧 |
| [16:51] | Awesome. | 好棒 |
| [16:54] | So she called you, right? | 她打给你了对吧 |
| [16:55] | I saw her talking on the phone using lots of hand gestures. | 我看到她打电话 还配了一堆手势 |
| [16:58] | I figured it was about how bad the date is. | 肯定是在说这约会糟透了吧 |
| [17:00] | Okay, I’m going to try and put this as politely as I can, | 我尽量用文明点的词汇跟你说 |
| [17:03] | but what the hell is wrong with you? | 但你他娘的是猪啊 |
| [17:05] | Make a move. | 对她下手啊 |
| [17:06] | Max, I really like her, but… | 麦克斯 我真的很喜欢她 但… |
| [17:08] | What is the but? | 但是怎样 |
| [17:09] | But she’s Caroline Channing. | 她可是卡洛琳·钱宁啊 |
| [17:11] | And you’re Andy something. So? | 你也是安迪·啥啥不是吗 |
| [17:13] | Yeah, I’m Andy something who owns a small candy store, | 我就只是开间小糖果店的安迪·啥啥 |
| [17:16] | And she was practically a princess. | 而她算得上是公主了 |
| [17:18] | Was. Was a princess. | 那是以前 以前是公主 |
| [17:20] | Now she has five pairs of underwear | 现在她穷得只剩五套内衣裤 |
| [17:22] | and hasn’t done laundry in eight days. | 但她八天没洗衣服了 |
| [17:26] | Max, honestly, I mean, I use those stupid emojis | 我老实说 我用表情符号回复她 |
| [17:29] | to buy time to figure out what I wanted to say. | 是拖延时间 想好我想对她说的话 |
| [17:32] | That’s why emojis exist. | 表情符号作用就是在此 |
| [17:33] | So guys like me don’t have to say, | 像我这样男人就不用亲口说出 |
| [17:35] | “I’m not good enough. I sell gum.” | “我配不上你 我是个卖口香糖的” |
| [17:38] | She’s the same girl you met in your candy store. | 她就是你在店里遇到的那个女孩 |
| [17:40] | No, she’s not. | 不 她不是 |
| [17:42] | That was just a regular, pretty Williamsburg girl. | 当时她只是个普通的漂亮威廉斯堡女孩 |
| [17:45] | Now, she’s refined, rich Caroline Channing. | 现在她是文雅多金的卡洛琳·钱宁 |
| [17:53] | He thinks you’re rich and refined. | 她觉得你多金又文雅 |
| [17:55] | – It’s a real boner blocker. – What? | -害他不知如何下”鸟” -什么 |
| [17:57] | He found out who you were, and he’s intimidated. | 他知道了你的真实身份 他吓着了 |
| [17:59] | You have to act cheap and unrefined. | 你得表现的廉价又粗俗 |
| [18:01] | It’s the only way. | 没别的招了 |
| [18:04] | Here we go. | 来吧 |
| [18:05] | I also ordered you guys some nachos. | 我还帮你们点了脆饼吃 |
| [18:07] | No jalapenos. | 没放墨西哥辣椒 |
| [18:08] | I know that’s the devil’s garnish. | 我知道那是魔鬼的调味料 |
| [18:10] | Great, nachos. | 太好了 玉米脆饼 |
| [18:12] | They’re so low-rent like me. | 跟我一样廉价易得 |
| [18:14] | But first, I’m going to chug some draft beer | 但我现在要先跟平常一样 |
| [18:17] | like I always do. | 大口灌点生啤 |
| [18:22] | And now I’m gonna freak-dance. | 现在我要去骚女”乱舞”了 |
| [18:24] | Slut, party of one | 骚货即将光临舞池 |
| [18:28] | Come on, Jacob. I’m going to tear that ass up. | 来吧 雅各布 姐要好好宠幸你 |
| [18:32] | Y-y-you are? | 真的吗 |
| [18:46] | See? That’s not special at all. | 你看 她一点也不特别 |
| [19:01] | Oh, my God! | 天啊 |
| [19:02] | Call the paramedics. | 快叫医护人员啊 |
| [19:03] | I danced an Amish boy to death. | 我让阿米什男孩爽死了 |
| [19:16] | Look at poor Jacob. I feel awful. | 雅各布好可怜 我好内疚 |
| [19:18] | It was just panic attack coupled with his first orgasm. | 人生首次”高潮”后的恐慌发作而已嘛 |
| [19:22] | Paramedics said he’ll be fine. | 医护人员说他会没事的 |
| [19:24] | I think that’s what they said. | 应该是这样吧 |
| [19:25] | It was hard to hear over all their laughing. | 他们边笑边说 听不太清楚 |
| [19:31] | More emojis from Andy. | 安迪又回我符号了 |
| [19:33] | Christmas tree, fireworks, martini glass. | 圣诞树符 烟火符 马丁尼酒杯符 |
| [19:37] | Okay, that’s it. I’m done. | 够了 我受不了了 |
| [19:39] | Well, here he comes. | 他来啦 |
| [19:42] | What is this supposed to mean? | 你发这些是什么意思 |
| [19:44] | Oh, that? That means… | 那些吗 就是这个意思 |
| [19:52] | I love emojis. | 我爱死表情符号了 |
| [19:55] | I think my work here is done. | 看来我可以功成身退了 |
| [19:59] | Max, I’m going to go with Jacob in that thing | 麦克斯 我要进那台我们当初 |
| [20:01] | we wouldn’t let take our grandmother. | 不愿意让其载走我奶奶的东西陪雅各布 |
| [20:03] | And I just wanted to say good-bye | 我来跟你道别 |
| [20:05] | and thank you for everything. | 并谢谢你对我们的一切 |
| [20:06] | Well, you built us a barn, | 你也帮我们盖了马棚 |
| [20:08] | we almost killed your friend-I’d say we’re even. | 我们差点害死你朋友 也算两不相欠啦 |
| [20:11] | Well, Jacob says he’s going to go home, | 雅各布说他要回家了 |
| [20:12] | but I met this girl in the bar | 但我在酒吧认识个女孩 |
| [20:13] | whose roommate overdosed yesterday, | 她室友昨天嗑药过量死了 |
| [20:15] | so there’s a spare room, | 所以家里有间空房 |
| [20:16] | and I’ve decided to stay. | 我打算去那里住 |
| [20:18] | Cool. | 不错啊 |
| [20:20] | So got any words of wisdom | 有什么人生箴言能传授给 |
| [20:22] | for a kid trying to make it in the world? | 我这个独自奋斗的小少年吗 |
| [20:24] | No, do you? | 没 你呢 |
| [20:26] | Look, just know you’re going to struggle for a while. | 记住 刚开始肯定会有不顺遂 |
| [20:29] | Someone’s going to ask you what time it is, | 可能有陌生人假装问你时间 |
| [20:30] | and when you look at your watch, | 当你低头看表时 |
| [20:31] | he’s going to put his penis on you. | 他就把阴茎蹭你身上 |
| [20:34] | But like Dan Savage says, it gets better. | 但丹·萨维奇说过 明天会更好 |
| [20:34] | 丹·萨维奇 在同性恋大学生因搅基视频泄露后自杀后 发起了”明天会更好”反自杀活动的专栏作家 | |
| [20:36] | Although it hasn’t for me, | 虽然我的明天没更好 |
| [20:38] | so maybe that only applies to questioning teens. | 那可能只对性向有疑问的青少年有效 |
| [20:40] | In short, there’s really no point to anything, | 总之 不必挂意不顺遂的人事物 |
| [20:42] | but sometimes, you get to eat candy or have sex, | 有时候 只要能吃上糖果或打上一炮 |
| [20:45] | and that’s when it all feels right. | 不顺遂也就抛之脑后了 |
| [20:50] | Oh, no. | 惨了 |
| [20:54] | Caroline, the cat. | 卡洛琳 那只臭猫 |
| [20:57] | I’m on my own. Fine. | 见色忘友 行 |
| [21:01] | Oh, no, you bastard, not tonight. | 今晚别想吓唬我 死臭猫 别想 |
| [21:04] | It is not going down tonight. | 今晚我奉陪到底 |
| [21:10] | All right, you win this one. | 好吧 今晚让你赢 |