| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Max, look out, you’re so tired | 麦克斯 小心 你都累得 |
| [00:04] | you’re spilling batter all over yourself. | 把面粉糊洒自己身上了 |
| [00:07] | I knew it was only a matter of time | 我就知道这天迟早会来 |
| [00:08] | before I became a battered woman. | 我成了洒面糊的笨女人 |
| [00:08] | battered woman 亦指受虐待女性 长期遭受家暴会导致受虐者行为能力衰退 | |
| [00:11] | This is a huge disappointment. | 这真是太让人失望了 |
| [00:13] | I heard that. | 我听见咯 |
| [00:16] | You don’t even know what I’m referring to. | 你又不知道我是指什么 |
| [00:17] | Oh, I just assumed we were talking about everything. | 我就当你是指这一切好啦 |
| [00:21] | I’m referring to our expensive new cupcake website. | 我是在说我们所费不赀的小蛋糕网站 |
| [00:24] | Not one job offer. | 一笔找上门的生意都没有 |
| [00:25] | You want a website that will make you feel better about yourself? | 想看个能让你心情爽一点的网站吗 |
| [00:28] | Go to models-falling-down.Com | 去模特跌倒网看看吧 |
| [00:32] | Number one: Klum goes boom. | 最好笑的是”名模克劳姆狗吃屎” |
| [00:37] | It’s 3 A.M. Who would be coming over now? | 半夜三点 谁会这个时候来敲门呀 |
| [00:40] | I don’t know, my dealer, my other dealer? | 不知道 我的药头吧 或药头二号 |
| [00:42] | That guy who always asks if I know where my dealer is? | 或老问我 我药头上哪去的那个男的 |
| [00:47] | Who is it? | 谁啊 |
| [00:48] | You can’t handle what’s on the other side of that door. | 门外的东西 你承受不起 |
| [00:50] | Yesterday, I saw a guy on a stoop | 昨天 我看见一个男人在阳台上 |
| [00:52] | frenching his cat. | 跟他的猫舌吻 |
| [00:54] | I can handle anything. | 我还有什么承受不了的啊 |
| [01:01] | Oleg, what are you doing here? | 奥列格 你这么晚来干嘛 |
| [01:03] | And you put the, “oh, no,” in kimono. | 和服都让你穿成”合吐”了 |
| [01:07] | Your upstairs neighbor Sophie | 你们楼上的邻居 苏菲 |
| [01:08] | is allowing me to have sex with her. | 恩准我跟她上床 |
| [01:10] | And I came down to borrow some sensual oils. | 我下来借点按摩油 |
| [01:13] | Preferably, ones that you can eat. | 可外用内服的为佳 |
| [01:17] | How did you get out of apartment? | 你怎么出来了 |
| [01:19] | You know the rules. | 不是跟你说过规矩吗 |
| [01:21] | I came down to borrow sensual oils. | 我下来借按摩油嘛 |
| [01:24] | Yeah, but no peppermint. | 对哦 不能别含有薄荷成分哦 |
| [01:26] | It makes his tongue swell. | 不然他的舌头会肿 |
| [01:28] | And let’s face it, | 不怕直说 |
| [01:30] | his tongue is the best part about him. | 他全身上下最管用的 就是那条舌头了 |
| [01:34] | You’re right, I can’t handle that. | 你说得对 我的确承受不住 |
| [01:53] | Those nice smelling men in booth two | 2号卡座那两位香喷喷的男士 |
| [01:54] | just asked me if I was on the down-low. | 问我是不是”密柜中人” |
| [01:57] | What does this mean? | 那是什么意思啊 |
| [01:59] | Uh, brother, | 兄弟 |
| [02:00] | I’m gonna need a little more context. | 得有上下文才能解读啊 |
| [02:03] | They said, “are you on the down-low, | 他们问 “你是不是密柜中人啊 |
| [02:05] | because we have a friend who is a big-time rice queen.” | 我们有个朋友是超米后哟” |
| [02:09] | Again, coming up dry. | 还是理解不能 |
| [02:11] | Rice queen, is it, like, a Korean dairy queen? | 米后 是跟韩国的奶品皇后差不多咩 |
| [02:13] | Kind of. | 差不多吧 |
| [02:16] | Here’s table seven’s check, Earl. | 7号桌结账 厄尔 |
| [02:18] | Max, the guys at booth two | 麦克斯 2号卡座的两个男的 |
| [02:19] | just asked Han if was on the down-low. | 刚问阿憨是不是密柜中人 |
| [02:21] | They think he’s gay. | 他们以为他是小基佬呢 |
| [02:24] | That’s a step up. | 不错啊 比以前好了 |
| [02:25] | Usually people think he’s a lesbian. | 一般人家都以为他是拉拉 |
| [02:32] | Here you go, Sophie. | 给 苏菲 |
| [02:33] | Uh, Max, Caroline. | 麦克斯 卡洛琳 |
| [02:35] | Yeah, about last night, | 昨晚的事情… |
| [02:37] | I hope we can keep that just between us girls. | 我希望你们能保守秘密 |
| [02:41] | I’m sure we have all done things in the dark | 大家都有过夜半时分 |
| [02:43] | late at night with men that we’d like to forget. | 跟男人背地里”干”一些羞于启齿的事情 |
| [02:46] | Why stop at late at night in the dark? | 干嘛说得只有在夜半时分才干 |
| [02:49] | How about early morning? | 大清早就没做过吗 |
| [02:50] | Or a nooner at the port authority bus terminal? | 大中午在港务局的巴士站干的就不算吗 |
| [02:52] | Oh, good. | 你理解就好 |
| [02:54] | And you too understand, Caroline? | 你也能理解吗 卡洛琳 |
| [02:56] | Actually, no, sorry. | 老实说 不理解 抱歉 |
| [02:58] | I haven’t ever done anything with a man | 我还没跟男人干过任何让我 |
| [02:59] | – that I’m ashamed of. – Oh, yeah. | -羞于启齿的事 -是吗 |
| [03:01] | But your father did steal millions and millions of dollars. | 你老爸不也骗过人家好几百亿嘛 |
| [03:06] | So… don’t forget that. | 别忘了这档事哟 |
| [03:12] | Han just sat your favorite gays. | 阿憨刚才服侍了你最爱的基佬们哦 |
| [03:14] | Max, their names are Steven and Michael. | 麦克斯 人家是叫史蒂芬跟迈克 |
| [03:17] | And it’s not very P.C. to reduce people to a stereotype. | 自动就把人归类成基佬 政治立场不太正确吧 |
| [03:19] | – Hey, girl. – What’s up, care bear? | -姑娘们好啊 -还好吗 小可爱们 |
| [03:23] | Yeah, they’re not stereotypes. | 是啊 他们真不是典型的基佬 |
| [03:25] | What would you say if they called you | 要是人家称你为 |
| [03:26] | “The big-boob waitress from the wrong side of the tracks | “那个生于贫民窟 睡遍全高中的巨乳服务生” |
| [03:28] | who had sex with everyone in high school”? | 你又会作何感想 |
| [03:30] | I’d say, “that’s why I love the gays. | 我会说 “就是这样我才爱基佬 |
| [03:32] | They get me.” | 他们真懂我” |
| [03:34] | Come over and say hello. | 过去打个招呼吧 |
| [03:35] | They’re the first and practically the only people | 人家可是我们的第一批顾客 |
| [03:37] | that ever hired us to do a cupcake job. | 也是唯一请我们做小蛋糕的人 |
| [03:39] | Do I have to? | 不去不行吗 |
| [03:40] | Can’t I just stand here and judge from afar? | 我不能就远远站着 对他们品头论足吗 |
| [03:43] | Come on, and let’s not mention how bad we’re doing. | 来嘛 千万别说咱们生意不好 |
| [03:45] | We want them to think we’re a big success, | 要让他们觉得我们大获成功 |
| [03:46] | so they’ll recommend us for their friends’ events. | 他们才会放心推荐我们给朋友 |
| [03:49] | Yeah, because you know the gays, | 也对 基佬嘛 |
| [03:50] | they party about everything. | 什么破事都能开个派对 |
| [03:51] | And there’s another stereotype. | 又不是每个基佬都这样 |
| [03:54] | – Hi, guys. – Happy leap year! | -你们好吗 -闰年快乐啊 |
| [03:57] | F.Y.I., people are still talking about | 对了 我们朋友们现在还对 |
| [03:59] | those cupcakes you made for our wedding shower. | 你们做的婚前派对小蛋糕赞不绝口呢 |
| [04:01] | – Everyone. – How’s business? | -人人夸哟 -生意如何 |
| [04:03] | Fabulous, amazing, killing it. | 太好了 超棒的 忙得累死累活 |
| [04:05] | Or it’s killing us. We’re not quite sure. | 或是搞得我们生不如死 说不准啊 |
| [04:08] | I’ll go grab some menus for you girls. | 我去帮你们两姑娘拿菜单过来 |
| [04:10] | – Max. – Sorry. | -麦克斯 -抱歉 |
| [04:11] | I’ll go grab some menus for you ladies. | 我去帮你们两女士拿菜单过来 |
| [04:15] | Love her… so Madeleine Stowe in revenge. | 爱死她了 超像玛德琳·斯托在《复仇》里角色 |
| [04:17] | Oh, she is. | 真的呢 |
| [04:18] | – I don’t watch that. – We love it. | -我不看那个剧 -我们超爱看的 |
| [04:20] | It’s all about a young blonde woman | 讲的是一个年轻的金发妹 |
| [04:21] | who’s out to seek revenge on everyone | 要向那些摧毁她家庭的人 |
| [04:23] | for destroying her family. | 展开复仇的故事 |
| [04:24] | Yeah, too close to home. | 不看是对的 太感同身受了 |
| [04:28] | – Max, guess what. – Caroline, you’re not | -麦克斯 你猜怎么了 -卡洛琳 |
| [04:30] | supposed to tell me I’m on intervention | 批斗会还没开始之前 你不能先告诉我 |
| [04:32] | until the actual intervention. | 我要被批斗啊 |
| [04:34] | I just got offered $600 to stay at | 史蒂夫和迈克要出远门 |
| [04:36] | Steven and Michael’s apartment and watch their dogs | 他们刚说给我600块 让我去他们家呆两天 |
| [04:38] | while they’re out of town for two days. | 帮看家兼养狗 |
| [04:40] | Why would anyone pay $600 | 怎么会有人愿意花600块 |
| [04:42] | to watch dogs for two days? | 请人帮忙养狗呀 |
| [04:44] | Well, because, you know, they want a certain | 因为… 他们希望自家的狗 |
| [04:45] | amount of attention to be paid to the… | 得到悉心的照料… |
| [04:47] | Just say it, they’re gay | 不就是基佬们 |
| [04:48] | and they think their dogs are their children. | 都把小狗当成自己的孩子养嘛 |
| [04:50] | Max, you have to stop doing this. | 麦克斯 别再说这种话了 |
| [04:52] | I’ll stop when they stop. | 他们不基 我就不说 |
| [04:54] | This is so exciting. | 我好兴奋啊 |
| [04:55] | It’ll be like a paid vacation at an amazing hotel. | 这就跟在高档酒店带薪度假一样 |
| [04:58] | And I need to get as far away from here as possible. | 而且我也想离这地方越远越好 |
| [05:00] | – Oh, where do they live? – Four blocks away. | -他们住哪里 -四个街区外 |
| [05:03] | Well, have a good time. | 祝你玩得开心 |
| [05:05] | And while you’re four blocks away | 当你在四个街区外 |
| [05:07] | having your vacation, I’ll be home | 爽爽地度假时 我会在家 |
| [05:08] | maybe taking a little masturbacation. | 动手给自己”爽爽” |
| [05:13] | What are you talking about? | 你说什么呢 |
| [05:14] | I wouldn’t go on vacation without you. | 我怎么可能抛下你 自己去 |
| [05:16] | We’ll split the dog money to cover the shifts | 平分看狗的钱 整好够补上 |
| [05:18] | we take off from the diner. | 请假时间的薪水 |
| [05:19] | Well, thanks, | 谢了 |
| [05:20] | but I don’t do that thing where you take off work. | 不过我不是请假去玩的人 |
| [05:22] | “Hi, I’m Max, | “你好 我是麦克斯 |
| [05:24] | I can’t go to a fancy apartment and have fun. | 我不爱去豪华公寓享乐 |
| [05:27] | I’d rather work in a steel mill | 我宁愿留在炼钢厂 |
| [05:28] | and sing Bruce Springsteen songs.” | 边工作边哼歌” |
| [05:32] | Max, when was the last time you had a vacation? | 麦克斯 你上次度假是什么时候 |
| [05:34] | Never. | 没休过 |
| [05:35] | Unless you count the summer I hid | 除非算上有一年夏天 |
| [05:36] | under the front porch from my mom’s new boyfriend. | 我在前门阳台下 躲我老妈新男人那次 |
| [05:39] | We really need to get out of here. | 我们真得脱离这个环境 |
| [05:41] | This is more than just spring break. | 这不只是春假 |
| [05:42] | It’s a break from the diner, | 而是暂时远离餐馆 |
| [05:44] | from the cupcake business, from being poor, | 远离小蛋糕事业 远离贫穷 |
| [05:46] | from everything depressing right now. | 远离一切不顺心的人事物 |
| [05:48] | Things aren’t that depressing. | 哪有这么凄惨啊 |
| [06:13] | Yeah, well, I’m sure we have | 我想大家都有过 |
| [06:16] | all done things with men in kitchens that… | 在厨房里跟男人干一些… |
| [06:20] | we are not proud of. | 羞于启齿的事 |
| [06:36] | Spring break is the greatest time ever. | 春假是最美好的时光 |
| [06:39] | You just go crazy and do shots | 可以无所顾忌 疯狂喝酒 |
| [06:41] | and throw all the rules out the window. | 把一切教条置之脑后 |
| [06:43] | Oh, I’ve done that. | 我也玩过啊 |
| [06:44] | But when you’re poor, you just call it Tuesday. | 不过咱们穷人称那为”周二” |
| [06:51] | Why are you walking like that? | 你干嘛那样走路 |
| [06:53] | This is my spring break walk. | 这是我的春假步 |
| [06:55] | These shoulders have shimmied like this | 我曾从马略卡岛一路 |
| [06:56] | all the way from Majorca to Ibiza. | 一路晃到伊比沙岛 |
| [06:58] | Try it, Max. Shake a little. | 试试嘛 麦克斯 晃一下 |
| [07:00] | – Shake. – That’s cool. | -晃嘛 -是挺酷的 |
| [07:01] | I’ll just wait till I get the DTS later. | 等我享受了环绕音响再晃也不迟 |
| [07:05] | Maybe I don’t have the right key. | 钥匙是不是不对啊 |
| [07:09] | Oh, hi. | 你好啊 |
| [07:10] | Sorry, I think we might be at the wrong door. | 抱歉 我们貌似是开错门了 |
| [07:12] | That’s a bummer for the door. | 你说找错 门都伤心死了 |
| [07:15] | It’s over there, 12d. | 我们是在那边 12D |
| [07:16] | We’re house-sitting for a few days. | 我们来帮朋友看几天家 |
| [07:17] | Cool, I’m Brendon. | 太好了 我叫布兰登 |
| [07:19] | Hey, Brendon. I’m Ashley. | 你好啊 布兰登 我是艾希莉 |
| [07:21] | – And… – I’m surprised. | -这位是… -我是”好惊讶” |
| [07:24] | And also Max. | 也是麦克斯啦 |
| [07:25] | I’d shake your hands, but I kind of stink. | 虽然我很想跟你们握手 但我有点臭 |
| [07:28] | I’ve been at my microbrewery most of the day, | 我大部分时间都呆在自己的家酿酒厂里 |
| [07:30] | so I am sorry if I smell like yeast. | 原谅我满身的酵母味 |
| [07:32] | Hey, that’s my apology. | 有酒味就怪我吧 |
| [07:35] | Whoa, all right, cool. | 好的 那行 |
| [07:38] | Well, I will see you guys around, yeah? | 那我们回见吧 会见到吧 |
| [07:40] | Yeah, totes. | 当然 会会的 |
| [07:45] | You have something you want to tell me, Ashley? | 有什么话想对我说吗 艾希莉 |
| [07:48] | I never use Caroline Channing on vacation for security reasons. | 为安全起见 我旅游时从来不用真名 |
| [07:51] | I was almost abducted at gunpoint | 我有次在墨西哥城差点被人 |
| [07:53] | for a ransom in Mexico city. | 用枪指着 要求赎款呢 |
| [07:54] | Wow, gunpoint. | 哎哟 还用枪指着呢 |
| [07:55] | Were you using the word, “totes” at the time? | 你那时候也说了”会会的” 才被人用枪指的吗 |
| [07:58] | Can you take out the paper that has the alarm code on it? | 能帮忙拿出有警报器密码的纸吗 |
| [08:04] | Wow, this place is amazing. | 这地方也太赞了吧 |
| [08:06] | It’s, like, the cover of gay gay gay magazine. | 不给《超基基基杂志》当封面 真是可惜了啊 |
| [08:11] | Max, you have to stop reducing them | 麦克斯 别再把人家 |
| [08:13] | to that gay stereotype. | 贬低成基佬中的大路货 |
| [08:15] | Now, read me the security code. | 快念警报器密码吧 |
| [08:17] | It’s…”Liza.” | 是”丽莎” |
| [08:17] | 丽莎·明尼利 美国女演员歌手 支持同性恋 因此受到广大同性恋的喜爱 | |
| [08:21] | A lot of different types of people like Liza Minnelli. | 很多不同类型的人都喜欢丽莎·明尼利啊 |
| [08:29] | Oh, look, it’s a poodle in a tutu. | 瞧 穿着芭蕾舞短裙的小贵宾狗 |
| [08:32] | That’s not gay, right? | 这一点都不”基”情四射 对吧 |
| [08:36] | Lots of… lots of different | 很多…很多人 |
| [08:38] | types of people have a poodle in a tutu… | 都有穿着芭蕾舞裙的小贵宾狗 |
| [08:42] | Named Barbra Streisand. | 名字都取”芭芭拉·史翠珊” |
| [08:42] | 芭芭拉·史翠珊 美国知名女演员 支持同性恋 因此受到广大同性恋的喜爱 | |
| [08:45] | Oh, there’s the book of instructions. | 看家指南在这里 |
| [08:50] | “Hey, girl. Hey, care bear. | “嗨 姑娘 嗨 小可爱 |
| [08:52] | “Have fun with Barbra Streisand and Wynonna Judd. | “好好跟芭芭拉·史翠珊与维诺娜·贾德玩吧” |
| [08:52] | 维诺娜·贾德 美国乡村女歌手 受同性恋喜爱 | |
| [08:55] | “Wynonna is a little temperamental | “维诺娜有点脾气不好 |
| [08:57] | and tends to stay in the bedroom. | 喜欢待在卧室里不出来 |
| [08:58] | We didn’t have time to purge her anal gland before left. | 我们临走前来不及帮她清理肛门腺 |
| [09:02] | Instructions on page two.” | 清理方法详见第二页” |
| [09:04] | I’m starting to understand the $600. | 我开始明白为啥给这么多钱了 |
| [09:06] | “Don’t worry, it’s easy. We do it all the time.” | “不用紧张 很简单 我们常弄” |
| [09:09] | No wonder Wynonna’s so temperamental. | 难怪维诺娜脾气不好了 |
| [09:12] | “Help yourself to anything in the fridge. | “冰箱里的东西想吃就吃 |
| [09:13] | There are portable saunas in the closet.” | 衣橱里有家用式桑拿” |
| [09:16] | Portable saunas? | 家用式桑拿 |
| [09:17] | Love it, what is it? | 爱死了 那是什么东西来着 |
| [09:23] | This is so cool. | 这也太酷了 |
| [09:25] | I’m hot like I’m at the beach, | 就像置身在海滩上一样热 |
| [09:28] | but I’m not stepping in any used condoms. | 又不用担心踩到用过的保险套 |
| [09:31] | Yeah, these are great. | 是啊 这是挺不错的 |
| [09:32] | My friend Candice Travelstead | 我以前有个朋友坎迪丝 |
| [09:33] | used one to make weight for prom. | 靠这个为毕业舞会瘦身 |
| [09:36] | Are you done with that? | 你看完了吗 |
| [09:36] | Yeah, switch? | 看完了 交换吧 |
| [09:39] | On spring break, I always loved | 以前春假 我很喜欢 |
| [09:40] | spending the day at the beach. | 在海滩上赖一整天 |
| [09:41] | Just the chilling and the girl talk. | 沐浴着春风 跟闺蜜聊天 |
| [09:44] | Yeah. Tell me again, | 那你再跟我形容一下 |
| [09:45] | about the sound the anal gland made when you squeezed it. | 刚才挤肛门腺时发出的声响吧 |
| [09:49] | Please, stop. | 求你别问了 |
| [09:50] | I already told you twice. | 我都说过两次了 |
| [09:51] | And now, Wynonna Judd won’t even look at me. | 维诺娜·贾德现在都不愿意看我一眼了 |
| [09:53] | Well, not without her lawyer in the room. | 她律师不在场 哪敢靠近你啊 |
| [09:57] | I’m hungry. What do you eat on vacation? | 我饿了 你假期都吃什么的啊 |
| [09:59] | Anything we want. | 爱吃什么吃什么 |
| [10:00] | Let’s see. | 来看看吧 |
| [10:04] | I bet their refrigerator is stocked with all kinds of pates | 他们的冰箱应该装满了各种意大利面 |
| [10:07] | and cheeses and those parm crisp things. | 起司 和起司脆饼之类的吧 |
| [10:10] | By the way, nice suit. | 泳衣挺好看的啊 |
| [10:11] | You look like someone should be pouring | 你看起来像饶舌MV里 |
| [10:12] | a 40 on you in a rap video. | 全身被人淋满酒的浪妹子 |
| [10:15] | Thanks. | 多谢夸奖 |
| [10:18] | There’s nothing. | 里面没吃的 |
| [10:19] | I mean, come on, what kind of gays are they? | 不是吧 他俩当基怎么当的这么失败 |
| [10:22] | All anal gland and no cheese. | 只有肛腺 其余免谈 |
| [10:25] | I just expected everything to be better. | 我本来对这里满怀期待 |
| [10:27] | You know, champagne on ice, | 冰镇着的香槟 |
| [10:28] | thousand thread-count sheets. | 上千针的高级床单 |
| [10:30] | I mean, the towels… They’re not even bath sheets. | 他们的毛巾 连浴巾都算不上 |
| [10:32] | Wait, the towels aren’t good? | 什么 那些毛巾不好吗 |
| [10:34] | Because I already stole two. | 我都偷了两条了 |
| [10:36] | They’re fine, they’re just not what I was expecting. | 其实还行啦 只是跟我期望的有出入而已 |
| [10:39] | What’s happening over there? | 你是怎么啦 |
| [10:41] | You could use a little shoulders. | 摇摇肩膀 甩掉坏心情嘛 |
| [10:43] | You’re right, enough, we’re on vacay. | 你说得对 不抱怨了 好好享受假期 |
| [10:45] | Come on, let’s go get dressed and find someplace to eat. | 来吧 穿好衣服 我们找地方吃饭去 |
| [10:47] | Are you crazy? I am not leaving this thing. | 你疯啦 我才不出来 |
| [10:49] | This is the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. | 我这辈子从来没这么舒服过 |
| [10:51] | Okay, we’ll order in, pretend it’s room service. | 好吧 叫外卖 假装是酒店客房服务 |
| [10:54] | They must have a menu drawer here somewhere. | 应该有个抽屉是放外卖单的吧 |
| [10:56] | Plus, we’ll never find a restaurant | 而且 肯定没有可以 |
| [10:57] | with a portable sauna section. | 携带家用桑拿入内的餐厅 |
| [11:00] | “Food network party tonight | “美食频道派对之夜 |
| [11:01] | to celebrate the release of a cookbook. | 欢庆食谱出版 |
| [11:03] | food and drink provided.” | 提供食物与饮品” |
| [11:05] | Free foodie food, free foodie drinks? | 免费美食家特选食物与饮品呢 |
| [11:07] | – Yay, let’s go. – No, I like it in here. | -太爽了 走吧 -不要 我要待这里面 |
| [11:10] | It’s amazing. | 太舒服了 |
| [11:11] | Ashley wants to go. | 艾希莉想去嘛 |
| [11:13] | Ashley wants to go. | 艾希莉真的想去嘛 |
| [11:15] | Fine, but can I bring the dog? | 好吧 我能带着狗一起去吗 |
| [11:17] | I’ve always wanted to be one of those girls | 我一直梦想有天能当那种 |
| [11:19] | who brings a tiny dog to a public place | 抱着小狗去公共场合的女人 |
| [11:21] | and just looks at everyone, like, | 然后藐视众生 对所有人说 |
| [11:22] | “Yeah, I have a tiny dog, so what?” | “老娘就带小狗来 怎么着” |
| [11:25] | You can be whoever you want to be. | 你想当什么人就当什么人 |
| [11:27] | You’re on vacation. | 假期中就有这权利 |
| [11:28] | I’m gonna go invite Brendon to come. | 我要邀请布兰登一起去 |
| [11:30] | You gotta have a crush on spring break. | 平生春假不邂逅 若称放假也枉然 |
| [11:31] | Well, I’m sitting in my crush. | 我已经坐在我的邂逅对象里了 |
| [11:34] | Hey, shouldn’t you put something on? | 你不用多加件衣服吗 |
| [11:36] | Uh, it’s spring break. | 假期就应该露 |
| [11:46] | Barbra, get help. | 芭芭拉 快去找人来救我 |
| [11:49] | Go, Barbra Streisand, go. | 上啊 芭芭拉·史翠珊 冲啊 |
| [11:56] | Hey, look at the book title, | 瞧这书的书名 |
| [11:58] | 306 degrees of heaven: Bacon. | 《306度的天堂:培根》 |
| [12:01] | Heaven bacon. That’s good wordplay. | 天堂”培根” 这双关不错 |
| [12:05] | It’s okay. Not much of a crowd. | 还好吧 人不多 |
| [12:06] | Party’s a little disappointing. | 派对又有点小闷 |
| [12:08] | Bacon truffle, Barbra Streisand? | 吃松露培根吗 芭芭拉·史翠珊 |
| [12:13] | Yeah, I’m feeding my tiny dog a truffle, so what? | 我就喂我的小狗吃松露 怎么着 |
| [12:17] | Miss, miss. | 小姐 小姐 |
| [12:19] | Excuse me, what are these things for? | 不好意思 这东西是干嘛用的 |
| [12:20] | Oh, it holds your drink while you get food. | 您拿食物的时候 可以把饮品放上面 |
| [12:22] | – No! – Yeah. | -不是吧 -是的 |
| [12:25] | Yeah, these are great when you see them for the first time. | 这东西不错 第一次见到都会挺惊奇的 |
| [12:27] | For me, it was on a yacht in the Mediterranean. | 我第一次见 是在地中海的一艘游艇上 |
| [12:30] | You know what else these are good for? | 你知道这玩意儿还能干嘛吗 |
| [12:32] | Frees up your shoulders to shimmy. | 解放的你肩膀 让你尽情摇摆 |
| [12:35] | You shimmy. I’m gonna walk over here | 你慢慢摇 我要去那边 |
| [12:37] | and find us a bigger, shinier something to do later. | 看看有没有什么更好玩的事物 |
| [12:41] | Later? We’re going home to our amazing apartment. | 还玩 不是准备回我们超舒服的公寓吗 |
| [12:44] | Or not. | 谁说的 |
| [12:45] | Come on, Max, it’s spring break. | 放松嘛 麦克斯 春假时间 |
| [12:46] | Let’s not get tied down. | 就应该尽情享乐 |
| [12:48] | I’ll be over there. | 我去那边看看 |
| [12:49] | Yeah, we’ll be over there. | 对 我们去那边看看 |
| [12:54] | Hi. You’re not allowed to have dog in here. | 抱歉 这里不允许带狗进来 |
| [12:57] | Unless he wants to buy the book. | 除非小狗想买这本书 |
| [12:59] | What are you, some kind of foodie bouncer? | 你谁啊 美食保安吗 |
| [13:01] | Worse. I wrote the book. | 更惨 我是这书的作者 |
| [13:04] | Yeah, nice sleeves. | 你的手臂刺青不错 |
| [13:05] | You get those in the tattoo gold rush of ’09? | 09年刺青潮的时候刺的吗 |
| [13:09] | I’m Zeke. What’s your name? | 我叫齐克 敢问芳姓大名 |
| [13:10] | I’m Max. This is my tiny dog. | 我叫麦克斯 这是我的小狗 |
| [13:12] | I take her everywhere, so what? | 老娘带着她到处跑 怎么着 |
| [13:15] | Hey, Max, you wanna try my thick-cut bacon? | 麦克斯 想试试我的”厚片培根”吗 |
| [13:18] | Maybe. Let’s just take things slow. | 再说吧 别猴急嘛 |
| [13:22] | I’m telling you, it serves the best vegan stew anywhere. | 相信我 那里有全世界最好吃的素炖菜 |
| [13:25] | You really should put it in your blog. | 强烈推荐你写上你的博客啊 |
| [13:27] | Oh, if I write one more article about something vegan, | 我再多写一篇有关素菜的博客 |
| [13:29] | all of my devoted 10,000 readers will hold hands | 我成千上万的粉丝就要手牵手 |
| [13:33] | and jump collectively out a window. | 一起跳楼自杀了 |
| [13:35] | And I know you like to find what’s new and what’s next. | 我知道你喜欢发掘新鲜事物 引领新潮流 |
| [13:38] | Chocolate bacon? | 要吃巧克力培根吗 |
| [13:40] | I just need a minute over there. | 我过去跟人家谈一下 |
| [13:43] | Hi, couldn’t help but overhear. | 抱歉 不小心听到你们的谈话 |
| [13:45] | If you’re looking for what’s new, | 如果你想寻找美食界的新潮流 |
| [13:47] | I found these two adorable girls | 我认识两个可爱的女孩 |
| [13:49] | who run a cupcake business | 她们在威廉斯堡的家中 |
| [13:50] | out of their home in Williamsburg. | 有个自营的小蛋糕生意 |
| [13:51] | I know how that sounds, but trust me, | 我知道听起来不靠谱 但她们真的是 |
| [13:53] | totally fresh and not at all overexposed. | 未成名的新星 未经雕琢的璞玉 |
| [13:56] | And you’re someone I should listen to because…? | 你是什么身份 我为什么要听你… |
| [13:58] | Sorry, didn’t introduce myself. | 抱歉 忘了自我介绍 |
| [14:00] | Ashley Emerson, style editor for Elle. | 艾希莉·爱默生 《世界时装之苑》的时尚编辑 |
| [14:05] | If you’re interested, | 如果你有兴趣的话 |
| [14:06] | I think I might have a card in here somewhere. | 我包里好像有她们的名片 |
| [14:08] | Was holding on to it for Martha. | 本来是要留给玛莎的[美国家政女皇] |
| [14:10] | Mr. Bacon action figure. | 培根先生人偶 |
| [14:13] | A world of bacon sampler. | 世界各地培根的试吃包 |
| [14:15] | And I want to apologize for the food network trucker hat, | 抱歉里面还有一顶美食频道的潮帽 |
| [14:17] | which has nothing to do with bacon | 其实跟我这书半点关系都没有 |
| [14:19] | and everything to do with me being a sellout. | 完全是在突显我为五斗米折腰 |
| [14:21] | Guess what. | 你猜怎么着 |
| [14:22] | Ashley just gave our card to a woman | 艾希莉刚把我们的名片给了个女人 |
| [14:24] | who’s such a bitch she must be important. | 她拽得跟二五八万一样 肯定是号人物 |
| [14:27] | She’s a food blogger. | 她是个美食博客写手 |
| [14:28] | It’s a long shot, | 虽然希望渺茫 |
| [14:29] | but we need to get some exposure. | 但是我们真的需要打响招牌 |
| [14:30] | Whoa, we are on vacation. | 我们不是在放假吗 |
| [14:32] | No business talk. That was the deal, right? | 说好了不谈公事的 还记得吗 |
| [14:35] | This is Zeke, chef-slash- author-slash-corporate sellout. | 他是齐克 厨师/作家/为五斗米折腰的男人 |
| [14:39] | We were, uh… | 我们… |
| [14:42] | We were thinking about going back to the apartment to hang out. | 我们刚想回公寓玩会儿呢 |
| [14:44] | Oh, sounds fun. | 感觉挺有意思啊 |
| [14:46] | Can I see you alone for a second? | 我能单独跟你谈两句吗 |
| [14:47] | Well, not alone. | 没办法单独 |
| [14:48] | I bring my tiny dog everywhere, so what? | 老娘狗不离身 怎么着 |
| [14:52] | Come on, I heard of an after-party in Soho | 我听他们说要去苏豪区办庆功宴 |
| [14:54] | and an after-after-party in dumbo. | 再到登波区办庆功宴的庆功宴 |
| [14:56] | So, let’s go-ho. | 咱们就去”舒好”吧 |
| [14:57] | Have fun and get this vacation started. | 大玩特玩 让假期真正开始 |
| [15:00] | I’m holding a tiny dog at a bacon-book party | 我抱着小狗在一个培根食谱的派对上 |
| [15:02] | and laughing with a guy who wrote a book about bacon. | 跟一个写培根书的男人有说有笑 |
| [15:05] | I think my vacation’s already started. | 我的假期早就开始了 |
| [15:08] | All right, well, have fun. | 好吧 那你自己玩的开心点 |
| [15:09] | I’m gonna go par-tay. | 我要去派对一番啦 |
| [15:11] | Eh, did your thing, Ash. | 小艾艾 想干嘛就去吧 |
| [15:23] | I don’t want to say that I’m hot. | 我不想说我炙手可热 |
| [15:25] | But the bacon in my pocket is done. | 但我兜里的”培根”已经熟了 |
| [15:28] | We said turns were five minutes, you bastards. | 说好五分钟一换的 你们俩混蛋 |
| [15:33] | Oh, hi. More sauna fun. | 你们好 在享受桑拿吗 |
| [15:35] | Max, can I see you in the hall for a second? | 麦克斯 能出来说句话吗 |
| [15:37] | But it’s my turn to sweat my balls off. | 但该到我蒸蒸我这两球了呢 |
| [15:40] | Don’t think the clock’s not running while I’m out there. | 别以为我出去了 就不给你们计时了 |
| [15:44] | We’re going on a real vacation. | 我们能去度个真正的假期了 |
| [15:46] | How quickly can you pack a bag? | 你打包行李的速度能有多快 |
| [15:47] | And don’t worry about appropriate evening wear. | 不用担心没有合适的晚礼服 |
| [15:49] | Every Four Seasons has a Gucci | 四季酒店的大厅里 |
| [15:50] | near the Bulgari store in the lobby. | 都有古琦跟宝格丽的专卖店 |
| [15:52] | None of those words made any sense. | 完全听不懂那些字眼 |
| [15:55] | I think you’ve had a spring break stroke. | 你是不是春假中风发作了 |
| [15:57] | No, seriously, there’s a car waiting downstairs | 我不是闹着玩的 楼下有车等着我们 |
| [15:59] | to take us to a private plane. | 要载我们去搭私人飞机呢 |
| [16:01] | We can be at Teterboro in 20 minutes | 坐车到机场只需要20分钟 |
| [16:02] | and Tahiti in 8 hours. | 然后飞8小时就能到大溪地了 |
| [16:03] | The Greek is paying for everything. | 一切费用 那个希腊人全包 |
| [16:06] | What did they give you? | 他们喂你吃了什么药 |
| [16:08] | What’s the last thing you can remember? | 你能记得的最后一件事是什么 |
| [16:10] | Nothing. | 不是啦 |
| [16:12] | I just had some cristal. | 我就喝了点水晶香槟 |
| [16:13] | Some cristal meth? | 是水晶冰毒吧 |
| [16:16] | No, I’m just really excited. | 不是啦 我只是挺兴奋的 |
| [16:18] | I went to the after-party and this shipping magnate. | 我在庆功宴上碰到这个船运大亨 |
| [16:20] | Don’t worry, it’s not gonna be sexual. | 别担心 不是卖肉傍大款 |
| [16:22] | More like a father thing. | 而是干爹情 |
| [16:24] | Anyway, let’s go… finally got us a good vacation. | 就跟我走嘛 能好好度假了 |
| [16:26] | But we’re having a good vacation. | 我们已经有个好假期了啊 |
| [16:28] | Max, don’t take this personally, | 麦克斯 恕我直言 |
| [16:30] | but you don’t know what a good vacation is | 但你根本不懂好假期的定义 |
| [16:32] | because you’ve never been anywhere. | 你一生坐井观天 犹如井底之蛙 |
| [16:33] | I mean, you walked into that apartment | 走进这间公寓时 |
| [16:35] | and your face lit up, like… like it was amazing. | 你都能眼神一亮 好像这是皇宫 |
| [16:38] | And that’s because you don’t know that it’s not. | 这单纯只是因为你见识的好东西太少了 |
| [16:41] | Trust me. I’ve been everywhere. | 相信我 我周游过列国 |
| [16:43] | And I’m telling you, this is the worst vacation ever. | 我很肯定的告诉你 这里的假期烂爆了 |
| [16:47] | So let’s ditch the bacon freak and the beer bro, | 甩了培根怪胎跟酿酒兄吧 |
| [16:50] | get on that plane, spend one great day at the beach, | 我们搭上飞机 去享受海滩一日游 |
| [16:53] | and then come back and make $8 an hour. | 然后回来过一小时8块的生活 |
| [16:55] | That sounds fun. | 听起来不错 |
| [16:56] | You kind of skipped over the part where we get abducted | 不过你少说了 我们被绑架后 |
| [16:58] | and Nancy Grace covers the year-long search | 南希·格蕾丝的节目会花一年 |
| [17:00] | for our bodies. | 来协寻我们的尸首 |
| [17:03] | It must be Constantine. He’s gonna be upset. | 应该是康斯坦丁打来了 他等的不耐烦了吧 |
| [17:05] | You never keep a Greek waiting. | 希腊人最讨厌等待 |
| [17:08] | Oh, my God, Max, we just got an email | 天啊 麦克斯 我们收到封邮件 |
| [17:09] | on our website from that food blogger at the book party. | 是今天的美食博客写手发的 |
| [17:12] | She said if we drop off four cupcakes by tomorrow morning, | 她说明早给她送4个小蛋糕过去 |
| [17:14] | she’ll consider writing about them for her column that day. | 她就考虑在她的美食博客上美言几句 |
| [17:17] | Well, what’s it gonna be, Caroline or Ashley? | 左右为难啊 要当卡洛琳还是艾希莉呢 |
| [17:19] | Cupcakes or Tahiti? Your call. | 小蛋糕还是大溪地 你挑吧 |
| [17:23] | Is the Greek still waiting? | 那个希腊人还在等吗 |
| [17:25] | He just pulled away. | 刚开走 |
| [17:27] | I’m sure he’ll come back here for Ashley sometime. | 有空他会回来找我的吧 |
| [17:29] | And when that happens, I wouldn’t want to be her. | 不过等他回来 我也不想当艾希莉 |
| [17:32] | Well, after tomorrow, you won’t be. | 明天过后 你就被打回原形了 |
| [17:35] | What can I do? | 我能怎么办啊 |
| [17:36] | You mean after your two personalities | 你是问 当你的两种人格相遇 |
| [17:37] | meet and kill each other? | 并自相残杀 该怎么办吗 |
| [17:40] | Max, I told you I needed a break. | 麦克斯 我说过我需要放个假 |
| [17:41] | I just didn’t know it was gonna be a psychotic one. | 只是没想到一放假 我就精神分裂 |
| [17:44] | You really need to chill. | 你真的要冷静一下了 |
| [17:45] | You can’t keep freaking out | 你总是动不动就崩溃 |
| [17:46] | because you’re not where you want to be… | 就因为天不从人愿 |
| [17:48] | on vacation or in our business. | 事不从你心 |
| [17:50] | I mean, it’s life. Lower your expectations. | 人生就是如此 别总是期望太高 |
| [17:53] | This microbrew is actually really good. | 这个家酿啤酒还挺不错的呢 |
| [17:55] | Tastes better in the batter. | 混入面粉中更美味 |
| [17:57] | Hey, crumble up some of that maple bacon for me. | 帮我把那些枫蜜培根弄碎 |
| [18:00] | Sorry about that stuff I said | 说那些话真是对不起 |
| [18:02] | about you never having gone anywhere. | 我不是故意说你是井底之蛙的 |
| [18:03] | Why? I never have gone anywhere | 干嘛道歉 我的确是井底之蛙 |
| [18:05] | or done anything. | 坐井观天 |
| [18:06] | And now I’m thinking that’s kind of a good thing, | 我觉得我这样其实也不错 |
| [18:08] | because I can still get excited and make a face | 至少我看见新事物还能兴奋 |
| [18:11] | when something’s new to me. | 还能惊讶地合不拢嘴 |
| [18:12] | ‘Cause, basically, everything is. | 因为对我来说 一切都是新事物 |
| [18:14] | That must be nice. | 这感觉一定很好吧 |
| [18:16] | All right, here, taste it. | 来吧 试吃一下 |
| [18:19] | My beer-batter, maple bacon, spring break cupcake. | 混酒面粉加枫蜜培根的特制春假小蛋糕 |
| [18:25] | Oh, my God, you made the “something new” face. | 天啊 你脸上有”新事物”的表情 |
| [18:29] | I did, because you made something new. | 没错 因为是你创造了新事物 |
| [18:32] | – It’s delicious. – Do the face again. | -太好吃了 -再做一次那表情 |
| [18:42] | Oh, there they are, the world travelers. | 回来啦 环游世界姐妹花 |
| [18:45] | Shouldn’t people be throwing confetti or something? | 大家怎么还不起身鼓掌撒花啊 |
| [18:47] | I’m all out. | 我的花都用光了 |
| [18:48] | I snorted mine in the power outage of ’65. | 65年大停电的时候我当毒品吸掉了 |
| [18:53] | How was your vacation? | 假期玩得开心吗 |
| [18:54] | Well, it turned out to be more of a daycation, | 虽然假期后来变成了一日游 |
| [18:57] | but we had a great time, didn’t we, Max? | 不过我们还是玩得很开心 对吧 |
| [18:58] | Yes, we did. | 是挺开心的 |
| [19:00] | Max, things sure are dull around here without you. | 麦克斯 你走了之后餐厅了无生气啊 |
| [19:02] | Everyone walking around all P.C., | 周围的人嘴巴都干净得很 |
| [19:04] | nobody called me black. Hell. | 他娘的 都没人叫我黑鬼了 |
| [19:08] | I haven’t left once since you’ve been gone. | 你走后我都没离开店过呢 |
| [19:10] | When it comes to this job, you are my vacation. | 工作上 你就是我的假期 |
| [19:15] | And that, Earl, is why I got | 就知道你这么好 |
| [19:16] | all five of these gift bags for you. | 所以给你带了五个礼物包 |
| [19:22] | Welcome, again, to the Williamsburg diner. | 欢迎再次光临威廉斯堡餐厅 |
| [19:25] | This way, please. | 这边请 |
| [19:26] | I have looked up “down-low” and “rice queen” on Wikipedia. | 我去维基百科查了”密柜中人”跟”米后”了 |
| [19:30] | And, no, I’m not a secret homosexual | 我不是未出柜的同性恋 |
| [19:33] | or a man who chases only Asian men. | 对亚洲男人也没有特殊的基情 |
| [19:35] | I’m great, I’m straight. Get used to it. | 我很好 我很”直” 接受现实吧 |
| [19:40] | Hi, guys. How was your vacation? | 你们俩假期过得如何啊 |
| [19:42] | Great. Did you have fun at our place? | 很好啊 你们在我们家玩的开心吗 |
| [19:44] | Totes. Your saunas are sick. | 当当然 你们家的桑拿爽歪了 |
| [19:46] | I know. Could they be any gayer? | 我懂 基爆了对吧 |
| [19:50] | No. | 不是啦 |
| [19:52] | Just one thing. Wynonna’s still a little upset | 不过那天帮维诺娜清肛门腺后 |
| [19:54] | about the anal gland event. | 她还一直心情低落呢 |
| [19:56] | What? | 什么 |
| [19:57] | I told you she wouldn’t know it was a joke. | 我说了她不会懂我们是闹着玩的 |
| [20:04] | How could she not know it was a joke? | 她怎么会不懂我们是闹着玩的呢 |
| [20:07] | I mean, who would ask someone to squeeze their dog’s pooper? | 谁会叫别人去挤狗的肛门啊 |
| [20:10] | We’re paying you another 50. | 我们再多付你50吧 |
| [20:13] | Dude, she went second knuckle deep | 兄弟 她插入你家小狗菊花的深度 |
| [20:15] | in your beagle’s back door for only another 50? | 有两个指节呢 你就多给50块而已啊 |
| [20:19] | 150. | 150块吧 |
| [20:20] | Thank you. | 谢了 |
| [20:22] | And just one other thing. | 还有件事 |
| [20:24] | Our business is actually not that great right now, | 其实我们的生意挺惨淡的 |
| [20:26] | so if you could recommend us to any of your friends, | 如果你们能帮忙介绍给朋友 |
| [20:28] | – that would really help. – Good for you. | -我们会感激不尽 -够诚实 |
| [20:30] | I’m sure business will pick up after that blog blurb. | 博客一宣传 生意就会蒸蒸日上了吧 |
| [20:32] | – Wait, blog blurb? – About your beer-battered | -什么博客宣传 -宣传你们的混酒面粉 |
| [20:35] | maple bacon spring break cupcake. | 加枫蜜培根特制春假小蛋糕啊 |
| [20:37] | We just read about it. | 我们都在网上看到了 |
| [20:38] | Yeah, in that foodie bitch’s blog. | 是啊 就是那美食贱货的博客 |
| [20:40] | Max, it worked. | 麦克斯 成功了 |
| [20:41] | Let’s go look at the blog on Han’s computer. | 快去用阿憨的电脑看看那篇博客吧 |
| [20:43] | Excuse us. We’ll be right back. | 失陪一下 我们马上回来 |
| [20:45] | We got a little break and a big break. | 刚放完小假 立马有大突破啊 |
| [20:57] | Yeah, I did it again. | 是的 我又堕落了一次 |
| [21:07] | Welcome back. | 欢迎回来 |
| [21:09] | You missed the best two days of my life. | 你们错过了我人生中最美妙的两天 |