| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Move over, I want to slide in close to you, | 坐进去 我想跟你坐靠近 |
| [00:05] | so we can take the picture for our new website. | 然后拍张照片放我们网站上 |
| [00:07] | Look, if you want to get all lesbian with me, just go for it. | 你想跟我搞拉拉情就直接上 |
| [00:09] | You don’t have to pretend it’s for the website. | 别用网站照片当借口 |
| [00:12] | It is. | 我是说真的 |
| [00:13] | And for the record, in 2009, when Katy Perry | 顺带一提 09年凯蒂·佩里在高歌 |
| [00:16] | Kissed a girl and liked it | “我亲了个女孩 我好喜欢”时 |
| [00:17] | I kissed one and didn’t. | 我也亲了 不过我不喜欢 |
| [00:20] | Ready? | 准备好了吗 |
| [00:21] | One… two… and… | 一 二 拍… |
| [00:25] | – Perfect. – Perfect? | -完美 -完美个屁 |
| [00:27] | This photo does not say “let us do your child’s birthday party.” | 这不是”请让我们承包孩子的生日派对” |
| [00:30] | It says “we’re an AC/DC tribute band, | 这是”我们是荒唐的摇滚乐团团员 |
| [00:32] | and you can pay us in cocaine.” | 用可卡因当酬劳就行” |
| [00:35] | Oleg, | 奥列格 |
| [00:36] | will you take a picture of us for our website? | 能帮我们拍张放网站的照片吗 |
| [00:38] | You realize you just asked a man | 你知道你是请一名 |
| [00:39] | who only takes pictures of his penis? | 只会拍自己下体的淫男拍照吗 |
| [00:41] | Yes. | 当然知道 |
| [00:42] | But it’s always well-lit, and perfectly in focus. | 可他拍的照片光照适宜 聚焦准确 |
| [00:45] | You won’t be disappointed. | 包君满意 |
| [00:47] | I take lots of website pictures. | 我给很多网站拍照过 |
| [00:49] | Yeah, but we’re not wearing just bras and chicken masks. | 可我们没有只戴鸡面具跟穿胸罩啊 |
| [00:53] | We have time. | 有大把时间 会到的 |
| [00:57] | Maybe we should rethink the “coke whore” picture. | 要不再考虑下刚才的”毒瘾浪女”照吧 |
| [01:11] | Well, good night, ladies. | 晚安啦 女士们 |
| [01:12] | Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite. | 祝你们一夜好梦 别来无恙 |
| [01:15] | And I remember a time in New York | 我记得当年在纽约 |
| [01:16] | when that was more cute than accurate. | 这话是祝福语而不是担心有恙虫 |
| [01:19] | – Good night, Earl. – Good night. | -晚安 厄尔 -晚安 |
| [01:21] | Earl, I have come across | 厄尔 今晚的帐 |
| [01:22] | a $6 inaccuracy in tonight’s total. | 有六块钱对不上数 |
| [01:24] | You must go over all checks again. | 你得留下再算一次 |
| [01:26] | Han, I’m just on my way home. | 阿憨 我都要准备回家了 |
| [01:28] | But it is not yet 2:00 A.M. | 两点才下班呢 |
| [01:29] | I hate to play the heavy, | 我不想当黑脸 |
| [01:30] | but you must sit down and go over checks again. | 不过你得乖乖留下重新算好账 |
| [01:34] | Han, I am 75 years old. | 阿憨 我都七十五岁了 |
| [01:37] | I don’t even have enough time left to wipe twice. | 我老得拉屎都舍不得多擦两次屁股 |
| [01:41] | Well, well. | 哎哟妈呀 |
| [01:43] | Hello there. | 女士您好 |
| [01:44] | Such a gentleman. | 真绅士 |
| [01:47] | And what a well-behaved boy. | 这小孩也好乖啊 |
| [01:50] | Oh, there are the girls. | 女孩们在这啊 |
| [01:51] | Sophie, hello. | 苏菲 你好啊 |
| [01:53] | You look pretty. | 今天依旧光彩耀人啊 |
| [01:54] | Oh, I know. | 我知道 |
| [01:56] | Oh, sorry, the kitchen’s closed. | 真抱歉 厨房已经关了 |
| [01:58] | – What? – Kitchen was closed… | -怎么会 -厨房本来是关了… |
| [02:02] | but can now be open again for such a beautiful woman. | 但厨房今始为君开 |
| [02:06] | Hello. I am the chef. | 你好 我是大厨 |
| [02:09] | Oh, here we go. | 烂戏又要上演了 |
| [02:10] | Ukraine’s going to try to invade Poland. | 乌克兰要入侵波兰了 |
| [02:13] | It’s double D-day. | 诺曼底登陆2之大胸脯登陆 |
| [02:17] | Oleg, this is our neighbor, Sophie. | 奥列格 苏菲是我们的邻居 |
| [02:20] | I would like to have a plate with sausage on it | 我想要先点一盘香肠 |
| [02:22] | while I look over the menu. | 然后我再慢慢看菜单 |
| [02:26] | Yowza. | 亲娘咧 |
| [02:29] | You are like someone super-sized Victoria’s secret angel. | 你就像个大号的维多利亚秘密女模啊 |
| [02:34] | I’d like to Gisele on your Bundchens. | 我好想要”挤塞儿”你的”膀衬” |
| [02:34] | 吉塞儿·邦臣 巴西超级名模 曾在维多利亚的秘密年度秀上走秀过 | |
| [02:43] | You’re going to act like a dog, | 有人不当 想当狗 |
| [02:44] | I’ll treat you like a dog. | 我就把你打成狗 |
| [02:48] | Well, there goes his photography career. | 他的”拍照”事业一去不复返了 |
| [02:53] | Do you still want the sausage? | 你还要点香肠吗 |
| [02:54] | Yes, of course. Why should sausage suffer? | 当然啊 干嘛迁怒无辜的香肠 |
| [02:59] | You know how to handle yourself. | 你真是应对得宜啊 |
| [03:00] | Impressive. | 叹为观止啊 |
| [03:01] | That was like a game of “rock, paper, pervert.” | 刚就像是你在玩”剪掉 石砸 变态”游戏 |
| [03:05] | Sophie, thank you for coming in. | 苏菲 谢谢你特意过来 |
| [03:06] | Max and I wanted to talk to you about taking you up | 麦克斯和我想跟你谈谈接受邀请 |
| [03:08] | on your offer to work for your cleaning company. | 去你的清洁公司工作的事情 |
| [03:10] | Yeah, she wants to do it for money to pay for our website, | 她想打工赚我们做网站的钱 |
| [03:13] | and I want to do it | 我想打工是因为 |
| [03:13] | because I like rummaging through strangers’ medicine cabinets. | 我喜欢把陌生人家的药柜翻个底朝天 |
| [03:18] | Have you cleaned houses before? | 你有打扫过房子吗 |
| [03:20] | Well, I had a house, and it was very clean. | 我有过别人打扫得非常干净的房子 |
| [03:22] | But whatever the task, you won’t be sorry. | 无论你给我们什么任务 我们都会胜任 |
| [03:25] | Max and I are a great team, | 麦克斯跟我是黄金搭档 |
| [03:26] | and when we set our mind to something, we accomplish it. | 只要我们下定决心 就一定能完成任务 |
| [03:29] | – And if you consider giving us… – Oh, stop. | -如果你考虑给我们… -少废话 |
| [03:30] | This is not a dental school interview. | 这又不是牙科学院面试 |
| [03:34] | Come on, this is scrubbing toilets. | 拜托 就是刷马桶的活儿 |
| [03:36] | In or out? | 干还是不干 |
| [03:38] | We’re in. All the way. | 加入 跟你干到底 |
| [03:40] | In my experience, when someone has to tell you | 按我的经验 当要靠对方告诉你 |
| [03:42] | they’re all the way in, | 他们已经”干到底”了 |
| [03:43] | you’d better hope their tongue works. | 你只能祈祷他的舌头还算”能干” |
| [03:46] | So dirty. | 好黄好欢乐 |
| [03:51] | We can start tomorrow. | 我们明天就能开工 |
| [03:52] | Just tell us where to go, and we’ll be there. | 跟我们说个地点 我们会准时出现 |
| [03:54] | Oh, okay. | 好的 |
| [03:55] | Well, uh, you walk out your door, | 首先走出家门 |
| [03:57] | you take right, you go upstairs, | 右转 上楼 |
| [04:00] | you open my door, and you clean my apartment. | 打开我家门 然后打扫我的公寓 |
| [04:04] | Is audition. | 这算试镜哦 |
| [04:06] | Can’t I just take off my shirt like in Fame? | 我能像《名扬四海》那样 直接脱衣就好吗 |
| [04:08] | Excuse me. | 打扰一下 |
| [04:10] | Here is your non-sexual appetizer. | 这是你的无骚扰开胃菜 |
| [04:13] | You and I will start small. | 我们从新慢慢认识吧 |
| [04:15] | You like? | 意下如何 |
| [04:17] | Yes. | 行 |
| [04:18] | Good boy. Now go. | 乖狗狗 走开吧 |
| [04:29] | Forced to clean Sophie’s apartment? | 被迫去打扫苏菲的公寓 |
| [04:31] | This is getting dicey. | 这事越来越危险了 |
| [04:32] | Next thing you know, we’re locked in a crate | 很快的 我们就会被关在 |
| [04:34] | on our way to the far east. | 运往远东的装货箱里 |
| [04:36] | Max, we’re going to spend this money on our website. | 麦克斯 我们得花钱做网站 |
| [04:38] | That’s the future of our company. | 那可是我们公司的未来呀 |
| [04:39] | But the future is so far in the future, | 可是未来在遥远的未来 |
| [04:41] | and I need this money now for real stuff, | 我现在需要花钱买真实的东西 |
| [04:43] | like gummi bears and eye liner. | 比如小熊软糖和眼线笔 |
| [04:46] | How do you think you get to the future? | 你觉得你将如何抵达未来 |
| [04:48] | Uh, Marty McFly and a Delorean? | 马帝·麦克佛莱和一台德罗宁的跑车 |
| [04:48] | 马帝·麦克佛莱是电影《回到未来》的男主角 德罗宁的跑车是剧中穿梭时空的工具 | |
| [04:52] | Besides, we don’t need the website yet. | 再说了 我们目前还不需要网站 |
| [04:53] | We got the birthday cupcake job tomorrow without it. | 没有它 明天照样有人请我们做蛋糕 |
| [04:56] | And where do you think we got that job? | 你觉得为什么会有人请我们 |
| [04:58] | I don’t know, the job fairy? | 我不知道 有仙女帮忙吗 |
| [05:00] | What? I don’t pay attention to the business stuff. | 干嘛啊 我本来对生意的事就不怎么上心 |
| [05:02] | I got the order at the web design company | 我是在网站设计公司不小心听到 |
| [05:04] | when I overheard someone say it was his son’s fifth birthday. | 有人说他儿子要过五岁生日了 |
| [05:07] | Gross. Using children for your own profit. | 真恶心 利用孩子来获利 |
| [05:09] | Way to go, China. | 挺有中国的风范嘛 |
| [05:17] | Well, here we are. | 我们准时到啦 |
| [05:18] | Why is this big news? | 这有需要昭告天下吗 |
| [05:21] | Come in. | 进来吧 |
| [05:22] | So, if this all works out today, | 如果今天一切顺利的话 |
| [05:25] | I have two possible jobs for you. | 就有两份工作等着你们 |
| [05:27] | Both at the same building. | 而且在同一栋楼里 |
| [05:29] | Two? That’s amazing. | 两份 太棒了 |
| [05:31] | This is the only way that I can make sure | 这是我确保你们不毁坏 |
| [05:32] | that you don’t ruin my company’s good name. | 我公司好名声的唯一办法 |
| [05:35] | ‘Cause I work hard to build “Sophie’s choice.” | 毕竟”苏菲的选择” 是我辛苦打拼出来的 |
| [05:40] | Now, uh, one of you take bathroom | 现在 你们一个去打扫厕所 |
| [05:41] | and one of you take out here. | 一个打扫客厅 |
| [05:43] | Who does which? | 自己选一个吧 |
| [05:44] | Bathroom. I’m going to go with bathroom. | 厕所 我就选厕所吧 |
| [05:46] | I love a challenge. | 我喜欢有难度的活儿 |
| [05:47] | If not perfect clean, no job. | 如果达不到一尘不染 就没活儿 |
| [05:50] | Begin. | 开工吧 |
| [05:53] | Watch out, ladies. | 留神啦 女士们 |
| [05:54] | I’m about to go H.A.M on this b-room. | 我要给这间厕所一点”颜瞧”了 |
| [05:58] | What is this “H.A.M”? | 什么叫”颜瞧” |
| [06:01] | Hard as a mother. | 就是给点”颜射”瞧瞧 |
| [06:02] | Max, I love when you’re dirty. | 麦克斯 我好喜欢你讲的荤段子 |
| [06:15] | Oh. Very impressive. | 令人激赏啊 |
| [06:19] | You clean like bull. | 你打扫时力大如牛 |
| [06:21] | Roar of cleaning. | 咆哮出清洁的战歌 |
| [06:24] | No big deal. | 没什么啦 |
| [06:25] | I was lifting up couches when I was six | 我六岁的时候就能举起沙发了 |
| [06:27] | to help my mom look for change and her boyfriend’s tooth. | 当时是帮我妈妈找零钱和她男友的牙齿 |
| [06:31] | I’m almost finished in here! | 我快完工啦 |
| [06:34] | This one like to make big announcements about nothing, yes? | 这家伙就喜欢屁事也要昭告天下 是吧 |
| [06:37] | Yes. | 是啊 |
| [06:39] | Hey, does that electric cigarette work? | 你那电子烟好使吗 |
| [06:41] | Yes, yeah. | 挺好的 |
| [06:42] | I smoked for seven years, and then I quit when I was 12. | 我抽过7年的烟 直到12岁时我决定戒烟 |
| [06:48] | Yeah, I didn’t want to die of lung cancer | 是啊 我不想还没青春期 |
| [06:50] | before I was teenager. | 就死于肺癌 |
| [06:53] | Can I get a hit? | 我能抽一口吗 |
| [06:54] | Oh, yeah, please, try. | 当然可以 试试吧 |
| [06:56] | I have many more in the drawers. | 我抽屉里还有很多呢 |
| [07:00] | I smoked the summer I shucked oysters on a gay cruise. | 我去同性恋游船上剥牡蛎的那个夏天抽过烟 |
| [07:02] | Ooh, glamorous. | 哇 真有”基”情啊 |
| [07:05] | Almost done. Two-minute warning. | 快好了 倒数两分钟 |
| [07:07] | Be prepared to be amazed. | 准备好大开眼界吧 |
| [07:10] | Max, you shouldn’t smoke. You’ll get… | 麦克斯 你不该抽烟 你会被… |
| [07:11] | What, electrocuted? | 什么 电死吗 |
| [07:14] | This is silly. | 电子烟真蠢 |
| [07:15] | If I’m going to suck on something this hard | 如果想”吸”根这么硬的玩意儿 |
| [07:17] | and get no pleasure out of it, I should just date. | 又没半点爽感 去约会不就行了 |
| [07:21] | I think you’re going to be thrilled. | 我觉得你会眼睛一亮的 |
| [07:27] | Oh, she stinks. | 她弱爆了 |
| [07:31] | Spritz, spritz. She is sprayer. | 这儿喷 那儿喷 她就是个喷头 |
| [07:33] | All mirror, no toilet. | 喷的全是镜子 马桶置之不理 |
| [07:35] | Well, you know, she’s sort of new to this kind of work. | 她在这种工作上还是个新手 |
| [07:38] | She was born rich, | 她曾是个富家女 |
| [07:38] | but her father stole a bunch of money from people, | 可因为她爸拐了好多人的钱 |
| [07:41] | and she was thrown out of her townhouse and disgraced. | 她才被赶出别墅 然后沦落至此 |
| [07:43] | Yes, well, she clean like rich girl. | 没错 她打扫时的确像个富家女 |
| [07:46] | “Hey, everybody, look, look what I’m doing. | “大伙儿快看呀 我在干活呢 |
| [07:49] | Oh, spritz, spritz.” | 左喷喷 右喷喷” |
| [07:53] | See, you not born rich, | 而你 虽然出身贫寒 |
| [07:55] | and you… you’re like “roar”. | 却有猛牛的霸气 |
| [07:59] | – Right? – Well. | -没错吧 -不敢当 |
| [08:00] | Cleaning’s not her thing, but she has other strengths. | 她不擅长打扫 她有别的专长 |
| [08:03] | Mm, I don’t see them. | 反正我是没看见 |
| [08:06] | Uh, so do we not have the job? | 所以我们面试失败吗 |
| [08:09] | No, I give you job, | 不 我给你工作 |
| [08:11] | because one bull equal two girls. | 因为一头猛牛能顶俩姑娘 |
| [08:13] | But why you need her, I don’t know. | 可你非得搭上她 我就不明白了 |
| [08:16] | You can make much more money on your own. | 你自己出来单干 钱只多不少 |
| [08:19] | Yeah, well, we’re kind of a team. | 话是没错 可我们是一个团队 |
| [08:21] | Listen, Max. Let me tell you something. | 听着 麦克斯 跟你说件事 |
| [08:24] | She is like rock, tied to you, balloon. | 她就像块石头 绑在你这个气球身上 |
| [08:28] | See, she hold you down. | 她拖你的后腿 |
| [08:30] | You cut her loose, and… | 一旦你摆脱她 就能…[一飞冲天] |
| [08:37] | Yeah, well, she’s not weighing me down. | 她没有把我拖垮啦 |
| [08:40] | I had lover who was rock. | 我曾经有个石头爱人 |
| [08:43] | And I let him go, and… | 我跟他分手后 我就… |
| [08:48] | I’m finished, and I have to say, that bathroom? | 我做完啦 而且我不得不说 那间厕所 |
| [08:51] | Nailed it. | 简直一尘不染 |
| [08:52] | Don’t push it. She saw it. | 别费口舌了 人家有眼看的 |
| [08:53] | She barely looked at it. I saw you in the mirror. | 她根本就没看 我在镜子里看见你了 |
| [08:56] | Your eye never even looked down. | 你的眼睛完全没有往下看 |
| [08:57] | Yes, that’s because this eye doesn’t go down. | 没错 那是因为这眼睛不能往下看 |
| [09:01] | See, I’m trying. | 瞧 我尽力了 |
| [09:04] | Yeah, I have blind spot from accident as child. | 我小时候发生过意外 眼睛有盲点 |
| [09:07] | When I was six years old, | 那年我六岁 |
| [09:09] | while working in Polish knock-off | 在华沙的一家波兰 |
| [09:11] | of McDonalds in Warsaw, | 山寨麦当劳店打工 |
| [09:13] | I fell on hot McStick. | 我跌倒在炙热的”麦肉棒”上 |
| [09:17] | How did you fall on a hot stick? | 你怎么会跌在一根炙热的棒子上呢 |
| [09:19] | Not a stick that is hot. A hot McStick. | 不是棒子炙热 是销量炙手可热的”麦肉棒” |
| [09:23] | It’s meat on a stick, and it’s very popular. | 是把肉串在棒子上 非常受欢迎呢 |
| [09:26] | They only have it, like, two times a year. | 一年两次 限时推出的 |
| [09:29] | It’s like Mcribs. | 就跟麦当劳猪排堡一样 |
| [09:33] | Sophie, I’m so sorry, that’s awful. | 苏菲 我真为你感到难过 这太惨了 |
| [09:36] | Yeah, but I bet that McStick thing is delicious. | 是啊 但我敢说那个”麦肉棒”一定很好吃吧 |
| [09:39] | It is. | 的确 |
| [09:40] | Well, that must have been hard. | 那给你生活制造了不少苦难吧 |
| [09:41] | I admire your courage. | 我真佩服你的勇气 |
| [09:43] | What are you, counsellor from UNICEF? | 你是谁啊 联合国儿童基金会的辅导员吗 |
| [09:47] | You are acing this interview. | 这面试你表现”真好” |
| [10:04] | Do you know where we are? | 你知道我们是在哪儿吗 |
| [10:05] | This whole building is models. | 这整栋楼住的全是模特 |
| [10:08] | Life is so funny. | 真是无巧不成书啊 |
| [10:09] | When I lived in Manhattan, | 想当年我还住曼哈顿时 |
| [10:10] | I used to come to model parties here all the time. | 天天来这里参加模特的派对 |
| [10:12] | And now you clean up their poop. | 然而现在你却得清理他们的大便 |
| [10:14] | You’re right. Life is funny. | 还真是无巧不成书啊 |
| [10:17] | Here’s the apartment upstairs tomorrow. | 明天要打扫的是楼上的公寓 |
| [10:18] | – 10j. Here it is. – How do I look? | -10J 就是这儿 -我看起来如何 |
| [10:21] | Maybe he’s the Abercrombie model from the Christmas ad | 没准他是A & F圣诞节广告里的模特 |
| [10:21] | Abercrombie & Fitch 美国知名休闲品牌 广告中的男模通常都是裸露上身 | |
| [10:24] | in the white sleigh | 踩着白色的雪橇 |
| [10:24] | with the open fleece jacket and the eight-pack. | 穿着敞怀的绒绒外套 露出八块腹肌 |
| [10:30] | I don’t think it’s him. | 貌似非你所想 |
| [10:32] | Hi, I’m Big Bill. | 你好 我是胖子比尔 |
| [10:33] | Come on in, girlies. | 进来吧 姑娘们 |
| [10:35] | How many packs did you say? | 你刚说几块腹肌来着 |
| [10:38] | Oh, what a lovely… oh! | 你家真不错 哇 |
| [10:41] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [10:42] | Look, Max, he’s a figure skater. | 瞧 麦克斯 他是花样滑冰运动员 |
| [10:45] | Go ahead, take it all in. | 慢慢欣赏 在脑中慢慢品味吧 |
| [10:46] | How could you not? | 谁会”不想欣赏”啊 |
| [10:48] | It’s okay, I’m a model. I’m used to it. | 没关系 我是个模特 早就习惯了 |
| [10:50] | Hey, I know you. You’re the Big Bill. | 我认得你了 你是那个胖子比尔 |
| [10:52] | You’re the guy from the gag greeting cards. | 恶作剧贺卡上的那个人 |
| [10:53] | Yep. I sold 2 million of that particular card. | 没错 那张卡我一年能买二百万张呢 |
| [10:56] | On the front it says, “You’re on,” | 卡面正面写着”你的生活如履…” |
| [10:58] | when you open it up… | 打开卡片就会看见 |
| [10:59] | – “thin ice”! – Right. | -“薄冰” -没错 |
| [11:01] | Oh, I’ve got to go in my bedroom and change. | 我得回卧室换衣服离开了 |
| [11:02] | I’ll be right back. | 马上就好 |
| [11:05] | Wow, Big Bill! | 哇 胖子比尔 |
| [11:06] | No, big bye-bye. | 哇 风紧扯呼 |
| [11:08] | We’re not staying here. | 此地不宜久留 |
| [11:09] | If that’s what’s on the wall, | 墙上都敢挂出这种画 |
| [11:10] | who knows what’s on the floor. | 谁知道他地板上能有什么 |
| [11:11] | Or trapped underneath it. | 或是地板下关着什么 |
| [11:13] | This is an uncomfortable work environment. | 这工作环境真让人不舒服 |
| [11:15] | You were going to be on all fours scrubbing a toilet. | 你本来就得趴在地上刷马桶了 |
| [11:17] | It was always going to be an uncomfortable work environment. | 到死都不会是个舒服的工作环境呀 |
| [11:20] | Okay, if we’re staying, | 好吧 如果真不走 |
| [11:21] | that’s three times the amount of man. | 你得想想这胖子是普通人的三倍大 |
| [11:23] | We should get double the money. | 我们应该得到两倍的钱 |
| [11:25] | I’m calling Sophie right now | 我现在就打电话给苏菲 |
| [11:26] | and telling her we should get more. | 告诉她我们要涨钱 |
| [11:27] | Um, I would not suggest you complain to Sophie. | 我不建议你跟苏菲抱怨 |
| [11:29] | It’s not a good idea. | 这可不是个好主意 |
| [11:30] | Why? Do you know something I don’t? | 为什么 有什么隐情吗 |
| [11:33] | She thinks you don’t know how to clean, | 她觉得你不会打扫 |
| [11:34] | that you spritz, spritz. | 你只会喷来喷去 |
| [11:36] | And what does she say about your cleaning skills? | 那她怎么评价你的打扫能力 |
| [11:38] | I’m a bull and I roar. | 力大如牛 效率奇高 |
| [11:40] | I knew she didn’t like me. | 我就知道她不喜欢我 |
| [11:41] | She only has eye for you. | 眼里只看得到你的好 |
| [11:44] | Who cares what she thinks. Just clean better today. | 谁管她怎么想 今天好好打扫就行了 |
| [11:46] | You do the living room. I’ll do the bathroom. | 客厅归你 厕所归我 |
| [11:48] | No, I’ll do the bathroom, just to prove a point. | 不 厕所归我 我要证明给她看 |
| [11:51] | I mean, reprove it. | 再一次证明 |
| [11:52] | This is just like when | 感觉就像当年 |
| [11:53] | they made me take the S.A.T.S again, | 他们让我重考高考一样 |
| [11:55] | away from all the Asian kids. | 得证明自己不是靠隔壁的亚洲人 |
| [11:59] | Oh! Oh, my God! | 我的神呀 |
| [12:04] | Why are you freaking out? | 你叫个屁啊 |
| [12:05] | You’ve already seen him naked. | 他的裸体你不是早见过了吗 |
| [12:06] | It’s not him. | 不是他啦 |
| [12:07] | Have you seen the size of this toilet? | 你见过这么大的马桶吗 |
| [12:13] | That is a big-ass toilet. | 这个坑真他妈大呀 |
| [12:16] | Literally. | 真正的大坑啊 |
| [12:25] | Max, I’m finished. | 麦克斯 我做完了 |
| [12:26] | The floor is so clean you could eat off it, | 这地板干净到都能在上面吃饭了 |
| [12:28] | and I’m sure he will. | 那胖子肯定会这么做的 |
| [12:30] | Come on in, I want you to see it. | 快进来 我想让你见证一下 |
| [12:33] | No, no, no, no, no, no. | 别 别 别 别 |
| [12:34] | Go down, go down, stop. | 下去 下去 快停下来 |
| [12:36] | Never mind! Don’t need you to see it. Everything’s okay. | 算啦 不需要你来见证了 一切顺利 |
| [12:40] | How’s it going out there? | 外面打扫得怎么样了 |
| [12:41] | Either your water just broke, or you pee like a smurf. | 你是羊水破了 还是能尿出蓝精灵尿啊 |
| [12:45] | My shoes. | 我的鞋 |
| [12:47] | No, you did not flush a whole roll of paper towels. | 不是吧 你一次冲了整卷厕纸啊 |
| [12:50] | No, you did not just use that tone with me | 不是吧 这种时候你还这语气指责我 |
| [12:52] | when my good shoes are wet. | 我的好鞋都被弄湿了 |
| [12:53] | Shut off the valve. | 关掉水阀 |
| [12:54] | The valve? | 什么水阀 |
| [12:55] | Oh, God, what is wrong with you? | 天啊 你是怎么搞的 |
| [12:57] | How can you not know where a toilet valve is? | 怎么会连马桶水阀在哪里都不知道啊 |
| [13:00] | I was rich. | 我是个富家女好吗 |
| [13:01] | But you have to admit, the mirror? | 但你得承认 那镜子 |
| [13:03] | Nailed it. | 一尘不染哟 |
| [13:15] | Wake up, you lazy bitch! | 起来 你个懒货 |
| [13:16] | – What? – Fire! | -什么 -火 |
| [13:18] | I’m fired? Why, because of the toilet? | 工作付之一炬了吗 就因为个马桶啊 |
| [13:20] | Look at the oven, the cupcakes. | 你看看烤箱 我们的小蛋糕 |
| [13:22] | I’m sorry. I fell asleep. | 抱歉 我睡着了 |
| [13:24] | I was just going to lay down for five minutes. | 我刚只是想躺个五分钟 |
| [13:27] | I asked you to do one thing | 我出门买牛奶前 |
| [13:28] | while I went out to get more milk… | 就拜托你做这么一件事 |
| [13:29] | Take the cupcakes out of the oven. | 把小蛋糕从烤箱里拿出来 |
| [13:33] | “Happy Birthday, kids. From Max’s homemade cupcakes. | “生日快乐 孩子 这是麦克斯自制小蛋糕 |
| [13:36] | You can learn more about us and our blackened cupcakes | 如想更了解我们 及我们的招牌碳烤蛋糕 |
| [13:38] | on our expensive website.” | 请点击我们的高价网站” |
| [13:41] | I’m sorry, Max. | 对不起 麦克斯 |
| [13:42] | I just really needed a little siesta after all that cleaning. | 打扫了那么久 我真得睡一下[西语] |
| [13:45] | How are you so good at Spanish and so bad at cleaning? | 为什么你的西语这么好 打扫却这么烂啊 |
| [13:50] | What is that smell? | 这是什么味道 |
| [13:51] | I grabbed my purse and ran. | 我都抓起钱包要避难了 |
| [13:54] | Caroline burned cupcakes. | 卡洛琳把蛋糕烤糊了 |
| [13:56] | Oh, so sad. | 真可怜 |
| [13:58] | Look at all those burnt cakes. | 看看这些烤糊的蛋糕 |
| [14:01] | What happened here? | 发生什么事了 |
| [14:02] | Just a little mishap. | 发生了点小意外 |
| [14:04] | I was so tired from cleaning that bathroom earlier, | 今天打扫厕所太累了 |
| [14:06] | that I laid my head down for five minutes | 我就跑去躺个五分钟 |
| [14:08] | and ended up falling asleep. | 没想到就睡过头了 |
| [14:10] | Such a shame. | 好可惜哟 |
| [14:13] | Oh, look Max. | 瞧 麦克斯 |
| [14:16] | These cupcakes, they’re hard as rocks. | 这些蛋糕 就跟”石头”一样硬 |
| [14:19] | All you have to do | 你只需 |
| [14:20] | is throw the rock away, and whee! | 扔掉石头 就可以… |
| [14:34] | I don’t think Sophie likes me. | 我觉得苏菲不喜欢我 |
| [14:36] | What are you talking about? She loves you. | 你瞎说什么 她可喜欢你了 |
| [14:37] | No. I don’t think she has a blind spot. | 她眼睛并非有盲点而看不见 |
| [14:39] | I think she has a blonde spot… for me. | 完全就只是单纯对我有意见 |
| [14:46] | Well, I think we’ve found the place | 我觉得我们找到 |
| [14:48] | where red bulls come to die. | 红牛墓场了 |
| [14:51] | Man, why do I never get invited to parties like this? | 真是的 怎么都没人邀请我来这种派对呢 |
| [14:55] | Look. Do you know what that means? | 快看 知道这意味着什么吗 |
| [14:56] | Yeah, this building has a real shirt shortage. | 知道 这栋楼极度缺少上衣 |
| [15:00] | Oh, my God, do you think | 天啊 你觉得这会是 |
| [15:00] | this might be the Abercrombie model’s apartment? | A & F模特的公寓吗 |
| [15:02] | I doubt it’s the Abercrombie model’s apartment. | 我持怀疑态度 |
| [15:05] | Here’s a note. | 还给咱们留了张条 |
| [15:06] | It’s addressed to “Cleaning dood,” | 是给”清洁土人” |
| [15:07] | “Dude” Spelled “D-o-o-d.” | 把”工人”写成”土人” |
| [15:09] | It definitely might be the Abercrombie model’s apartment. | 这肯定是模特儿的公寓啦 |
| [15:13] | “Wake me when you get here.” He wants us to wake him. | “来了就叫醒我吧” 他说让咱们叫醒他呢 |
| [15:15] | So, do you think he sleeps in the nude? | 你觉得他是裸睡吗 |
| [15:18] | Yeah, “Nood”, “N-o-o-d.” | 对 “果睡” “赤果果” |
| [15:21] | Come on, let’s go look. | 快走 咱们去看看 |
| [15:22] | Oh, oh, oh, so what, seeing this guy naked | 哎哟 所以现在看这个家伙的裸体 |
| [15:24] | is no longer an “uncomfortable work environment”? | 就不算是”不舒服的工作环境”吗 |
| [15:27] | It’s still uncomfortable, | 还是不舒服啊 |
| [15:28] | but in that exciting uncomfortable way. | 不过是爽得让人不舒服 |
| [15:34] | I think it is him. | 我觉得就是他了 |
| [15:35] | It’s the guy who put the “abs” In Abercrombie. | 在A & F广告中露腹肌的那个人 |
| [15:38] | And he’s naked. The good naked. | 而且他裸睡 撩人的裸体啊 |
| [15:40] | Should we lift the sheet? | 我们该把床单撩起来吗 |
| [15:42] | Why not? I already lifted it in my mind. | 此时不撩更待何时 我心里早把它撩开了 |
| [15:45] | Max, I got this. | 麦克斯 这里交给我吧 |
| [15:45] | You start cleaning up the mess out there. | 你开始打扫外面吧 |
| [15:48] | No, you start cleaning the mess out there… I got this. | 不 你去打扫外面 我来处理这里 |
| [15:50] | The bedroom’s attached to the bathroom, | 卧室连着厕所 |
| [15:52] | and I always do the bathrooms, and he’s my ideal type. | 我总是打扫厕所 而且他还是我喜欢的类型 |
| [15:54] | And by “doing” the bathrooms do you mean flooding them, | 你说的”打扫”厕所 是指让厕所发大水吗 |
| [15:57] | and by “Ideal type,” do you mean unconscious? | “喜欢的类型”是指不省人事的吗 |
| [15:59] | We can talk about this out here. | 我们去外面说 |
| [16:00] | You’re going to wake him. | 你会弄醒他的 |
| [16:01] | That’s what we’re supposed to do. | 叫醒他本来就是活的一部分 |
| [16:03] | But as usual, you don’t want to do the job. | 不过你一如往常 不想干活 |
| [16:08] | What’s wrong with you? You’re acting weird. | 你怎么了 今天这么奇怪 |
| [16:10] | Well, why should I have to do all the heavy lifting | 为什么我要干所有的重活 |
| [16:11] | while you just get to nap and see free model penis? | 而你又能小睡 又能免费”赏鸟” |
| [16:14] | All the heavy lifting? Where’d you get that from? | 所有的重活 谁说的 |
| [16:16] | No one. | 没谁 |
| [16:18] | Sophie. | 苏菲 |
| [16:19] | I knew she didn’t like me. | 我就知道她不喜欢我 |
| [16:20] | It’s not that she doesn’t like you, | 这跟她喜不喜欢你无关 |
| [16:22] | she just doesn’t think you’re… | 她觉得你… |
| [16:23] | What? Doing anything? | 怎么 一事无成吗 |
| [16:24] | She thinks I’m not pulling my weight? | 她觉得我没有出力吗 |
| [16:26] | She thinks I’m a dead weight? | 她觉得我是累赘是吧 |
| [16:27] | Not dead weight, more like… a rock… | 不是累赘 更像是…石头 |
| [16:30] | to my balloon. | 而我是气球 |
| [16:33] | What is that, some kind of Polish haiku? | 那是什么鬼 某种波兰俳句吗 |
| [16:35] | What does that even mean? | 那到底什么意思啊 |
| [16:37] | She thinks if I cut the rock loose, I’ll go… | 她觉得我如果剪断绑石头的绳子 我就能… |
| [16:42] | Wait, so you’re siding with a woman | 所以你要抛下我 去跟一个 |
| [16:44] | you met a week ago over me? | 才认识一周的女人结盟吗 |
| [16:45] | I’m not siding with anyone. I’m just saying… | 我没有跟任何人结盟 我只是说… |
| [16:47] | I know what this is. This is “pick on the rich girl.” | 我懂了 就是”百般刁难富家女”嘛 |
| [16:50] | It’s a poverty smackdown. | 这是穷人的自卑心作祟 |
| [16:52] | I heard you two talking while I was in her bathroom, | 我在她厕所打扫时 就听见你俩说话了 |
| [16:54] | spritz spritzing. | 左喷喷右喷喷 |
| [16:57] | You think you do everything? | 你觉得所有的活都是你干的 |
| [16:58] | Fine, do everything. | 好啊 那你全干吧 |
| [17:00] | You can “balloon” All over this place, | 这地方全归你这”气球” |
| [17:02] | ’cause the “rock” Is leaving. | 因为我这块”石头”要走了 |
| [17:08] | Who is it? | 谁呀 |
| [17:11] | You’re the rock! I’m the balloon! | 你才是石头 我是气球 |
| [17:13] | Without me lifting you out of your negative rockness, | 要不是我拯救你这块消极的臭石头 |
| [17:16] | you wouldn’t even have a cupcake business. | 你哪来的小蛋糕生意啊 |
| [17:17] | I’m the reason we even have cupcake jobs. | 咱们能有今天 全是我的功劳 |
| [17:19] | Oh, oh, you’re the reason? | 都你的功劳是吗 |
| [17:20] | Who stayed up all last night baking 24 more cupcakes | 那谁在你昨晚呼呼大睡时 彻夜不眠 |
| [17:24] | while you were sleeping? | 重烤了二十四个蛋糕呢 |
| [17:25] | You did. And who delivered the cupcakes this morning | 是你 又是谁今早在你倒头大睡时 |
| [17:27] | while you were sleeping? | 去送这二十四个蛋糕呢 |
| [17:28] | I did. Me. The balloon. | 是我 我这个气球 |
| [17:30] | I floated over there and got paid for the job that I got us | 我飘去收了靠我努力赚钱付的网站 |
| [17:33] | from the website that I’m trying to pay for. | 给我们找来的工作工资 |
| [17:36] | And now, I’m going to float down this hall | 现在 我要飘过走廊 |
| [17:38] | and wake the hot model up ’cause, contrary to what you | 去叫醒那位帅哥 因为跟你和 |
| [17:40] | and your poverty gal-pal might think, | 你那位穷人朋友想的相反 |
| [17:42] | I always do the job I’m hired for. | 我总是能做好我的本职工作 |
| [17:44] | Oh, no! I am going to wake him up. | 不 我要去叫醒他 |
| [17:46] | Free model penis is my reward for doing everything | 免费”赏鸟”是我干所有的活和 |
| [17:48] | and being tied to a rock like you. | 被你这样的石头拖累的奖励 |
| [17:51] | Oh, see? I can’t get away, because you’re the rock | 看见没 我甩不开你 因为你才是石头 |
| [17:53] | and you’re heavier than my balloon. | 你拖累了我这个气球 |
| [17:58] | Hey, stop! | 住手 |
| [18:00] | This is cleaning job, | 我是叫你们来打扫 |
| [18:01] | not gorgeous ladies of wrestling. | 不是玩什么美女摔跤 |
| [18:05] | Good thing I stopped by to check on you. | 幸好我路过来看下你们 |
| [18:06] | – What is all this? – You explain it. | -这是怎么回事 -你来解释 |
| [18:08] | I’m going to go wake the hot model up. | 我要去把帅哥叫醒 |
| [18:10] | He left a note. Just doing my job. | 他留了张纸条 我只是尽本分而已 |
| [18:12] | As usual. | 一如往常的尽本分 |
| [18:18] | So, you think I’m holding Max back? | 你觉得我拖了麦克斯的后腿吗 |
| [18:20] | What kind of question is this? | 这是哪门子问题啊 |
| [18:22] | Yes. | 没错 |
| [18:24] | Well, you’re wrong. We’re a great team. | 你错了 我们是黄金搭档 |
| [18:27] | And, yes, there are some things she’s better at. | 没错 是有些事情她比我擅长 |
| [18:29] | But there are other areas where I excel. | 但我也有做得比她更好的地方 |
| [18:31] | Well, I don’t see them. | 反正我是没看见 |
| [18:33] | That’s probably because of your eye. | 鼠目寸光的人有盲点也正常 |
| [18:37] | Did you wake him up? | 你把他叫醒了吗 |
| [18:39] | Uh, no. I think he might be dead. | 没有 他貌似是死了 |
| [18:47] | Oh, no, not the hot one! | 天啊 别是帅的这个啊 |
| [18:49] | Aw, he’s my favorite. | 他是我的最爱 |
| [18:51] | This is all I need on Yelp. | 我还要靠他在点评网给我好评呢 |
| [18:54] | We should call 911. | 我们打电话叫救护车吧 |
| [18:55] | No, I got it. | 不必 我有办法 |
| [18:57] | What are you going to do? | 你要干什么 |
| [18:59] | I’m going to give him mouth-to-mouth. | 我要给他做人工呼吸 |
| [19:10] | I didn’t know there was so much tongue involved. | 我还真不知道人工呼吸要用到舌头的 |
| [19:15] | This is not working. | 不行啊 |
| [19:17] | But, you know what? I know he’s still alive, | 不过 我知道他还活着 |
| [19:19] | because his manhood is knocking on my lady door. | 因为他的男根正顶着我的水帘洞 |
| [19:32] | He must have taken too many of those pills on the table. | 他肯定是吃了太多桌子上的药片 |
| [19:34] | Pills? I got this. | 药片 我有办法了 |
| [19:36] | Max, go get some hydrogen peroxide. | 麦克斯 去拿点双氧水 |
| [19:38] | – Sophie, step aside, now. – Oh, all right. | -苏菲 麻烦让开 -好的 |
| [19:41] | You sure you know what you’re doing? | 你真的知道自己在干嘛吗 |
| [19:42] | My friend Candace Travelstead od’d like three times in college, | 我朋友坎迪丝大学时有过三次服药过量 |
| [19:45] | and I brought her back twice. | 我把她救回来过”两次” |
| [19:49] | There you go. | 交给你了 |
| [19:50] | Bring him up. | 把他弄醒 |
| [19:51] | Max, you hold his head back, open his mouth. | 麦克斯 你把他的头往后拉 弄开他的嘴巴 |
| [19:59] | Back up. | 后退 |
| [20:09] | I’m starting to see your worth. | 我开始看出你的价值了 |
| [20:17] | What? You’re being subway creepy. | 干嘛 你就像个地铁痴汉 |
| [20:21] | I have to say, when you were punching | 不得不说 当你用力揍 |
| [20:22] | that almost-dead guy in the stomach, | 那个半死模特的胃时 |
| [20:24] | that was a serious balloon move. | 还真像是气球之举 |
| [20:26] | The truth is, we’re both balloons. | 其实我们都是气球 |
| [20:28] | Yeah, but mine is, like, way cooler than yours. | 对 可我的比你的酷多了 |
| [20:31] | It’s like one of those silver ones that never goes out of air. | 就好比那种从来不会漏气的银色气球 |
| [20:34] | They don’t make those anymore. They’re toxic. | 那种气球都不生产了 它们有毒 |
| [20:36] | Exactly. | 正是在下 |
| [20:39] | Max, you know you won’t let me come into the kitchen | 麦克斯 我知道你是保护我不让我进厨房 |
| [20:41] | and help you bake, right? | 帮忙烘培的 对吧 |
| [20:42] | And you know that I know that without you, | 你也懂我心里清楚 没有你 |
| [20:44] | the job fairy would never show up, right? | 才不会有什么”仙女”赐给我们工作的吧 |
| [20:47] | But if you ever need me to help you bake, I could. | 如果有天你需要人帮忙烘焙 我乐意之至 |
| [20:49] | No, it’s cool. | 没关系 |
| [20:50] | You do your thing, I’ll do mine. | 你做你的 我做我的 |
| [20:53] | Hey, get your phone. | 把手机拿出来 |
| [20:53] | We should capture this near-death victory moment | 我们应该记录这个”起死回生”的一刻 |
| [20:55] | as our website picture. | 作为我们的网站图片 |
| [20:57] | Totally. | 就是 |
| [20:58] | On the count of three, think…”we made $200.” | 数到三 然后想”我们挣了两百块哦” |
| [21:03] | One… two… | 一 二 |
| [21:05] | Hold up. | 等等 |
| [21:06] | Sir, if you want to go home with that hand, | 先生 如果你不想断手断脚的回家 |
| [21:07] | get it off my ass. | 快把淫手从我屁股上挪开 |
| [21:10] | Okay, three. | 好了 三 |