| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Pick up. Table 10, table 12, | 上菜 10号桌 12号桌 |
| [00:03] | table 69. | 69号桌[暗指性爱姿势] |
| [00:05] | Oleg, there is no table 69. | 奥列格 店里没有69号桌 |
| [00:07] | There could be. | 一切皆有可能哦 |
| [00:11] | Oleg just sixty-nined me, and now | 我又被奥列格用69号调戏了 |
| [00:12] | I don’t remember any of the table numbers. | 害我把桌号全忘了 |
| [00:15] | Look, he’s never gonna stop sixty-nining us. | 这69号他是不会玩腻的 |
| [00:17] | Forget the table numbers. | 以后别记桌号了 |
| [00:18] | Here’s how you remember your orders. | 点餐要这样记 |
| [00:20] | You just give people nicknames. | 给顾客起个外号 |
| [00:21] | Look, I got thin Cee Lo, | 瞧 我这边是瘦版希洛 |
| [00:23] | fat Rihanna, Jon beret Ramsey, and | 肥版蕾哈娜 贝雷帽版拉姆齐 以及 |
| [00:27] | 克里斯汀·韦格 美国著名女演员 姓氏”Wiig”与假发”wig”发音相似 | |
| [00:27] | and Kristen bad wig. | 假发丑版克里斯汀 |
| [00:30] | Seth Rogen 塞斯·罗根 美国喜剧男演员 姓氏”Rogen”与落健生发剂”Rogaine”发音相似 | |
| [00:30] | Oh, okay. I got Seth Rogaine, child molester moustache, | 好吧 我这边是塞斯·落健 恋童癖小胡子 |
| [00:33] | and lesbian Justin Bieber. | 女同版贾斯汀·比伯 |
| [00:36] | – Good. – Thanks. | -很好 -多谢啦 |
| [00:39] | Pick up. Table six. | 上菜 6 |
| [00:41] | …ty-nine. | 9号桌 |
| [00:58] | So can I get you anything else? | 请问还需要点什么吗 |
| [00:59] | Coffee? Dessert? Morning-after pill? | 咖啡 点心 事后避孕药 |
| [01:02] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [01:05] | Getting it on in a restaurant. | 在餐馆里打得如此火热 |
| [01:08] | I once made love to a young Angela Lansbury | 我跟嫩版的安吉拉·兰斯伯瑞 |
| [01:11] | in a booth just like that. | 也在这样的卡座里做过爱 |
| [01:13] | Murder, she wrote? | 原版主演《她书写谋杀》 |
| [01:14] | more like “harder she begged.” | 嫩版上演《她跪求猛插》 |
| [01:18] | Earl, why isn’t everyone you? | 厄尔 大家要像你一样多好呀 |
| [01:20] | Yo, what’s up, mama? | 你好呀 妈妈桑 |
| [01:22] | Oh, hey, Johnny. | 你来啦 强尼 |
| [01:23] | Usual? Two coffees to go? | 跟平时一样吗 外带两杯咖啡 |
| [01:25] | Yeah, and can I get two of your cupcakes? | 对 能给我来两个你的小蛋糕吗 |
| [01:27] | Which two? | 哪”两个”啊 |
| [01:28] | You know which two. | 明知故问 |
| [01:30] | The discounted day-olds? | 隔夜的打折货吗 |
| [01:32] | Yeah, girl. | 是呀 少女 |
| [01:34] | Hey, my bro and friend. | 你好呀 我的兄弟兼朋友 |
| [01:36] | Hey, what’s up, big guy? | 你好 大家伙 |
| [01:44] | Max, your boyfriend is here. | 麦克斯 你的男朋友来了 |
| [01:46] | He’s not my boyfriend. | 他不是我的男朋友 |
| [01:48] | He’s just another guy who likes my cupcakes. | 他只是喜欢吃我小蛋糕的人 |
| [01:50] | ’cause who doesn’t? | 好东西人人爱嘛 |
| [01:52] | Well, your face gets red when you see him, | 你一见到他就脸红 |
| [01:54] | and you suddenly act like nice person. | 而且一秒钟变好人 |
| [01:58] | If that’s not love, I don’t know what is. | 如果这都不算爱 那什么才算啊 |
| [02:01] | He doesn’t know what love is. | 他才不知道什么是爱 |
| [02:03] | The only thing he ever loved was a stepladder. | 他这矮冬瓜只爱过垫高梯子吧 |
| [02:08] | Johnny, here’s your stale cake and burnt coffee. | 强尼 这是你的隔夜蛋糕和焦糊咖啡 |
| [02:12] | Just how I like it. What do I owe you? | 正合我意 多少钱 |
| [02:14] | It’s on me. | 我请你 |
| [02:17] | You wish it was on you. | 你是想”请他来上你”吧 |
| [02:21] | There’s nothing going on. | 我跟他才没什么呢 |
| [02:23] | He just comes in here to get coffee | 他来买咖啡是因为要通宵 |
| [02:24] | because he tags billboards all night. | 在外头搞喷漆艺术 |
| [02:26] | 原句为”The lady doth protest too much, methinks” 出自莎士比亚的《哈姆雷特》 | |
| [02:26] | Methinks the lady doth protest too much. | 越解释 越让人觉得你口是心非 |
| [02:29] | Listen, renaissance fair, | 听好了 文艺复兴女 |
| [02:31] | why don’t you be a good wench and clean up your counter? | 你何不当个好姑娘 把柜台打扫干净呢 |
| [02:38] | Until the cupcake business takes off, | 在蛋糕店上轨道前 |
| [02:40] | I’m just gonna have to find a temp job online. | 我打算去网上找一份兼职 |
| [02:42] | Can I close this window that says “Mexican painkillers”? | 我能关掉这”墨西哥止痛药”的网页吗 |
| [02:45] | Yeah, yeah, but, uh, bookmark it first. | 关吧 关吧 不过要先收藏哦 |
| [02:50] | Here we are. Craigslist. Okay. | 那开始吧 信息网 好了 |
| [02:52] | How does this job sound? | 这份工作怎么样 |
| [02:53] | Disgusting and depraved. | 又恶心又堕落 |
| [02:55] | You didn’t even hear it yet. | 我都没说话呢 |
| [02:57] | Did I not hear “Craigslist”? | “信息网”上有好货吗 |
| [03:00] | Oh. Here’s something easy I could do. | 这有份我可以胜任的轻松工作 |
| [03:02] | A professional organizer. | 专业整理员 |
| [03:04] | You’re not a professional organizer. | 你才不是什么专业整理员呢 |
| [03:05] | You’re barely a professional waitress. | 你连一个专业的服务员都算不上 |
| [03:07] | I am a genius at organizing things | 我超擅长整理东西 |
| [03:09] | and getting them out of the way. | 与扫除垃圾 |
| [03:10] | I recently lost all my money and the promise of a bright future, | 我刚失去了万贯家产与光明的未来 |
| [03:13] | and I’ve organized that into a file in my head | 还能把这些破事整理进脑中一个名为 |
| [03:15] | labeled “do not open until you are stronger.” | “等心理素质强大了再打开”的文件夹 |
| [03:18] | If I can handle that for myself, | 我自己的惨事都能搞定 |
| [03:20] | I can certainly handle a stranger’s light filing. | 帮陌生人整理更是易于反掌 |
| [03:22] | If I had known all that craziness was going on in your head, | 早知道你脑袋瓜里这么疯狂 |
| [03:24] | I would have ordered you some Mexican pain killers. | 我就帮你网上买墨西哥止痛药了 |
| [03:27] | Or the Peruvian. They’re stronger, | 甚至是买秘鲁货 药效超猛 |
| [03:29] | but sometimes they make you lose control of your hands. | 但有时会害你的手不听使唤 |
| [03:35] | Thought that was an ibuprofen. | 错把秘鲁货当布洛芬吃了 |
| [03:39] | What is Johnny doing here at 3:00 A.M.? | 强尼凌晨三点来这儿干嘛啊 |
| [03:42] | Thought it was a rapist or something. | 还以为是强奸犯什么的呢 |
| [03:44] | Rapists don’t knock and wave. | 强奸犯才不会敲门和挥手呢 |
| [03:49] | And if they looked like that, we wouldn’t call them rapists. | 而且长成这样 怎么能称呼为强奸犯 |
| [03:52] | We’d call them… | 应该是叫… |
| [03:53] | Johnny! | 强尼尼 |
| [03:55] | What are you doing here? | 大半夜的来干嘛 |
| [03:57] | I’m here to talk to you guys | 我是来跟你们谈谈 |
| [03:58] | about The Church of Latter Day Saints. | 耶稣基督后期圣徒教会 |
| [04:01] | And I have to pee. Can I use your bathroom? | 顺便尿个尿 能借用下你的厕所吗 |
| [04:03] | No problem. Don’t forget to tip the bathroom attendant. | 没问题 别忘了给厕所服务员小费哟 |
| [04:07] | What’s up, caroline? | 在干嘛呢 卡洛琳 |
| [04:09] | Just trying to find a day job | 在找一份不会 |
| [04:10] | where I won’t get handcuffed to a radiator. | 被变态拷在暖气管上的兼职 |
| [04:14] | On Craigslist? | 不是吧 用信息网 |
| [04:19] | This is so romantic. | 太浪漫了 |
| [04:20] | Jumping over the back wall | 跳过后院的墙 |
| [04:22] | to drop down and see you in the middle of the night? | 只为了在半夜见你一面 |
| [04:24] | It’s very Romeo and Juliet. | 就像罗密欧与茱丽叶 |
| [04:26] | It is very Romeo and Juliet. | 我们是如厕欧与厕所叶 |
| [04:28] | He has to pee, and I’m the nearest toilet. | 他想尿尿 我只是离他最近的厕所 |
| [04:31] | Please. That’s just an excuse. | 拜托 那只是个借口 |
| [04:33] | The man defaces buildings. | 这男人在建筑物上乱画 |
| [04:35] | And what? He draws the line at peeing on them? | 却不愿在建筑物上乱尿 可能吗 |
| [04:37] | He came by here to see you. | 他是来见你的 |
| [04:39] | Pull your hair back. It’s kind of in your face. | 把头发拨到后面 挡住脸了 |
| [04:41] | Pull yourself back. You’re kind of in my face. | 该被拨到后面的是你 挡我眼了 |
| [04:45] | Thanks, guys. | 多谢了 伙计们 |
| [04:47] | I was tagging a building nearby, | 刚我在附近的楼喷漆 |
| [04:48] | and while I was on the roof | 在屋顶上 |
| [04:49] | I saw that your light was on, | 看见你们的灯还亮着 |
| [04:50] | so I thought I’d stop in and say hey. | 就决定过来问声好 |
| [04:52] | – Hey. – So, Johnny, | -好啊 -强尼 |
| [04:54] | you just saw our light on from the roof nearby? | 在附近的屋顶看到我们家灯亮吗 |
| [04:57] | Interesting. | 有意思 |
| [04:58] | Do you always look down when you’re up that high? | 你在高处时总往低处看吗 |
| [05:00] | Not really. | 也不是 |
| [05:01] | Interesting. | 真有意思 |
| [05:05] | Flying solo tonight. My lookout guy went into rehab. | 今晚独自行动 帮我把风的家伙进戒毒中心了 |
| [05:08] | It’s kind of a pain. | 真烦人 |
| [05:09] | It’s really a two-person operation. | 这活儿得两个人干 |
| [05:11] | Ugh, such a bummer when people can’t handle their heroin. | 废柴控制不了自己的毒瘾时最煞风景了 |
| [05:15] | Hey, Max, what are you doing tomorrow night after work? | 麦克斯 明晚下班后干嘛 |
| [05:18] | Any desire to be my lookout guy? | 有兴趣来当我的把风男吗 |
| [05:20] | I might have some desire to be your lookout guy, | 我的确是有这么点兴趣替你把风 |
| [05:22] | but as far as the “guy” part of “lookout guy” goes, | 可是把风男这个”男”的部分 |
| [05:25] | full disclosure… | 老实说呢… |
| [05:26] | What, you don’t have a penis? | 怎么 你没有小鸡鸡吗 |
| [05:27] | Oh, I have one. | 我还真有一根 |
| [05:30] | In a drawer in my bedroom. | 放在我床旁的抽屉里 |
| [05:37] | If the cops come tomorrow, | 如果明天有警察来抓人 |
| [05:38] | I will run like a girl. | 恕我无法像个汉子一样豪迈的逃跑 |
| [05:41] | Okay. So pick you up at the diner at 2:00? | 没问题 我晚上两点去餐馆接你吧 |
| [05:43] | – Cool. – Cool. | -好 -好 |
| [05:44] | Cool. | 好极了 |
| [05:50] | And then romeo left. So romantic. | 罗密欧转身离去 太浪漫了 |
| [05:53] | All the weeks of flirting and game playing | 一直以来的打情骂俏 |
| [05:55] | have finally led to this- | 终于守得云开见月明了 |
| [05:56] | You two on a late-night roof rendezvous. | 两人夜半于屋顶花前月下 |
| [05:58] | Hey, genius organizer, | 天才整理员 |
| [06:00] | why don’t you put all that garbage in a file labeled | 你何不把你这些垃圾都装到一个名为 |
| [06:03] | 凯瑟琳·海格尔 美国知名女演员 出演过爱情烂片《一夜大肚》《27套礼服》《丑陋的真相》 | |
| [06:03] | “I’ve seen too many Katherine Heigl movies”? | “我看太多凯瑟琳·海格尔的爱情烂片”文件夹里呢 |
| [06:06] | I’m just saying, he likes you. | 我的意思是 他喜欢你 |
| [06:09] | He likes you with his penis. | 全”鸡”全意地喜欢你 |
| [06:17] | There. 3F. | 就这儿 3楼F |
| [06:19] | All right. You’re here. | 好啦 到了 |
| [06:20] | Goodbye. Go organize. | 再见 好好干吧 |
| [06:21] | No, I said you have to wait until I open the door | 不 我说过你得等我打开门 |
| [06:23] | and check out if it’s safe. | 确保安全了之后才能走 |
| [06:25] | It’s my day off. You’re the one with the job. | 今天我不上班 你才是要上班的那个 |
| [06:27] | And you’re the one who freaked me out so much | 你是讲一堆进陌生公寓惨案 |
| [06:28] | about going into a stranger’s apartment. | 把我吓得半死的那个 |
| [06:30] | What did I say that was so bad? | 我说了什么把你吓成这样 |
| [06:32] | You told me he’d cut off my face | 你说他会把我的脸皮割下来 |
| [06:34] | and wear it as a party hat. | 当派对锥筒帽戴 |
| [06:36] | I said… “probably.” | 我是说…”可能” |
| [06:40] | Probably cut off your face. | 可能会割掉你的脸皮 |
| [06:42] | Nothing bad is gonna happen to you, okay? | 你不会遭遇不测的 好吗 |
| [06:45] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [06:46] | It’s a safe-enough looking building, right? | 这大楼看上去挺安全 对吧 |
| [06:48] | Yes. | 对 |
| [06:48] | Look, they have those hallway trash chutes. | 瞧 他们还有走廊垃圾道 |
| [06:51] | That’s probably how he’ll get rid of your faceless body! | 大概就会从那里丢弃你的无脸尸吧 |
| [06:54] | You’re right. I’m fine. Go. | 你说得对 我不怕 走吧 |
| [06:56] | Caroline’s second job. So proud. | 卡洛琳的第二份工作 为你骄傲呀 |
| [07:00] | Call me if you freak out or anything. | 如果你害怕或什么的 就喊我 |
| [07:02] | How am I gonna call you without a face? | 我脸都被割掉了 怎么喊你啊 |
| [07:05] | I’m fine. I’m not gonna call you. | 我没事 才不会喊你回来 |
| [07:09] | Hello, it’s Caroline, the professional organizer. | 你好 我是卡洛琳 专业整理员 |
| [07:17] | Hello? Someone called for an organizer? | 你好 有人打电话叫整理员吗 |
| [07:21] | Hello? | 你好 |
| [07:27] | Oh, no. Oh, hell no. | 天啊 我的老天爷呀 |
| [07:29] | Max, come back! | 麦克斯 快回来 |
| [07:37] | Hurry up. This is so exciting! | 快点 太激动人心了 |
| [07:38] | What are you talking about? | 你这是什么话 |
| [07:40] | I’m not going back in there. | 我才不要回去呢 |
| [07:41] | He’s a hoarder. A hoarder. | 他是个强迫症囤积狂 囤积狂啊 |
| [07:42] | It’s a bad reality show. | 难看到不行的真人秀 |
| [07:43] | Hey, that is a great reality show. | 拜托 那是一个很棒的真人秀 |
| [07:46] | But it’s not good reality reality. | 真出现在你眼前就不棒了好吗 |
| [07:48] | The only thing I love more than hoarders | 唯一能打败我对囤积狂的爱是 |
| [07:49] | are people who are too fat to fit through doors. | 那种胖得走不过门的人 |
| [07:53] | Tell me the hoarder has to grease his sides to get through the door. | 告诉我那囤积狂胖得在身上抹油才能过门 |
| [07:56] | You won’t have to get me a birthday present. | 你就不用送我生日礼物了 |
| [08:02] | Are you kidding me? | 哇靠 |
| [08:04] | Are you kidding me? | 开什么玩笑啊 |
| [08:05] | They should charge admission for this. | 这里真应该收门票费 |
| [08:09] | It’s Hoarders 3D – The experience. | 这简直就是电影《囤积狂3D》之真实体验版 |
| [08:13] | It’s like going to an iMax. | 感觉就像看IMAX一样 |
| [08:15] | It’s my Max! | 麦克斯专属版本 |
| [08:18] | Save yourself. Go on without me. | 别管我了 你先上吧 |
| [08:21] | Oh, God. | 天啊 |
| [08:22] | What is that pile over there? | 那边那堆是什么玩意儿啊 |
| [08:25] | It’s hard to tell what is what. | 根本看不出什么是什么 |
| [08:27] | It’s either an old shag carpet | 要么是一张老旧的绒布地毯 |
| [08:29] | or a mass grave of dead muppets. | 或者是个布偶的万人墓 |
| [08:31] | No way. Let’s get out of here. | 我才不干 咱们走吧 |
| [08:33] | We still have our faces. Why would we leave? | 我们脸皮还在呢 为什么要走 |
| [08:36] | And besides, you need this money. | 再说了 你需要这笔钱 |
| [08:37] | Look around. | 仔细看看 |
| [08:38] | There might be stuff here they don’t want | 说不定有他们不要的值钱东西 |
| [08:39] | that we can sell on eBay. | 咱可以放到易趣上卖 |
| [08:41] | Look. You know someone’s gonna | 瞧 没准有人会想要 |
| [08:43] | want a fish tank full of doll heads. | 一个装满娃娃头的鱼缸呢 |
| [08:46] | Yeah, someone with a fish tank full of doll bodies. | 是啊 拥有装满娃娃身体鱼缸的人吗 |
| [08:50] | Last year I owned a yacht named the Caroliner, | 去年我还有一艘以我命名的游艇 |
| [08:52] | and now I’m considering selling doll heads on eBay. | 而此刻我却考虑在易趣上卖娃娃头 |
| [08:55] | I’ll be organizing that thought in a file in my head | 我要把这想法收进我脑里那个 |
| [08:57] | labeled “don’t open ever.” | 名为”死都别打开”的文件夹 |
| [09:00] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [09:01] | There’s a heavy clown presence in this room. | 这间屋子有好多小丑的存在 |
| [09:05] | It’s unsettling, and I’m obsessed with it. | 虽然使人不安 但我超喜欢 |
| [09:08] | I want both more and less of the clowns. | 少一点小丑心安 又想多一点乐呵 |
| [09:12] | Um, hello? Anyone here? | 你好 请问有人吗 |
| [09:14] | Oh, hey, I’m over here. | 我在这儿呢 |
| [09:17] | I’m sorry. Where? | 抱歉 哪里 |
| [09:19] | By the papers. | 报纸这边 |
| [09:20] | Which papers? | 哪堆报纸 |
| [09:22] | The papers near the papers. | 挨着报纸的那堆报纸 |
| [09:25] | Oh, my god. I love this! | 天啊 我爱死这儿了 |
| [09:29] | Um, hi. Caroline? We spoke yesterday. | 您好 我是卡洛琳 我们昨天通过电话 |
| [09:32] | There’s a lot more to organize here | 这里需要整理的东西 |
| [09:34] | than you led me to believe on the phone, | 比您在电话中说的多太多了 |
| [09:35] | so we’re gonna have to renegotiate our price. | 所以我们得重新谈下价格 |
| [09:38] | It’s not that bad. | 没那么糟吧 |
| [09:40] | Not that bad? | 还不够糟吗 |
| [09:41] | I was hired to organized some papers, | 你请我来整理点报纸 |
| [09:43] | not clean up Katrina. | 没说是来清扫飓风现场的 |
| [09:46] | What’s he look like? | 他长啥样 |
| [09:47] | Please tell me he needs to be buried in a piano box. | 请告诉我他下葬时得用钢琴盒才够装 |
| [09:50] | I don’t know. I can’t see him through the truck. | 不知道 这破卡车挡住我看不见 |
| [09:53] | It’s an RV, and it’s a collectible. | 那是旅游车 还是个收藏品呢 |
| [09:55] | It’s where I keep my raisins. | 那是我放葡萄干的地方 |
| [10:00] | So how much more, then? | 那还要加多少钱 |
| [10:02] | Um, a hundred a day. For both of us. | 给我们两人每天再多一百 |
| [10:05] | And we get to keep the horse head made out of soda cans. | 还有这个汽水罐做成的马头归我们 |
| [10:08] | Why would we want that? | 我们要这个干嘛 |
| [10:09] | We don’t. It’s for chestnut. | 我们不要 是给栗宝的 |
| [10:11] | Every horse wants a friend made out of cans. | 哪匹马会不想要一个罐子做的朋友啊 |
| [10:13] | You got a deal. | 就这么定了 |
| [10:15] | Okay. We’ll get to work then. | 好 那我们开工啦 |
| [10:18] | Okay. Let’s not get overwhelmed. | 好 咱们不要被这景象吓倒 |
| [10:20] | We’ll take it one step at a time. | 我们一步步来 |
| [10:23] | Let’s start small. | 先从小的开始 |
| [10:36] | Happy birthday to me. | 祝我生日快乐 |
| [10:46] | Whoo, Max. Well, look at you. | 哇 麦克斯 瞧瞧你这身打扮 |
| [10:49] | Starting the night at the end of the night. | 黑夜将尽 好戏开场 |
| [10:53] | This is the first time I’ve seen you | 这是我第一次见你 |
| [10:54] | out of the prison uniform. | 把那身囚服脱掉 |
| [10:56] | You look beautiful. | 你真漂亮 |
| [10:58] | Oh, Earl, let’s get married. | 厄尔 那咱俩结婚吧 |
| [11:03] | What are you staring at? It’s just clothes. | 你们盯着我看干嘛 不就换个衣服吗 |
| [11:06] | Max, you look like a lady. | 麦克斯 你看上去像个淑女 |
| [11:08] | Tonight when I dream of having sex with you, as always, | 今晚当我跟往常一样 梦到跟你滚床单时 |
| [11:12] | this time I will ask you to stay. | 我会请你留下来 |
| [11:16] | Max, you look perfect for your date. | 麦克斯 你这身约会装扮太完美了 |
| [11:18] | – It’s not a date. – It is. | -这又不是约会 -就是 |
| [11:20] | No, it’s not. | 不 不是 |
| [11:22] | It’s booty call. | 是约炮 |
| [11:26] | There is a fresh, white billboard. | 有个全新的大广告看板 |
| [11:28] | I’m climbing it with my friend, and we’re putting up his artwork. | 我只是要跟我朋友爬上去作画 |
| [11:30] | Booty call on billboard. | 约炮于广告看板下 |
| [11:33] | If it’s after 2:30, | 相约两点半后 |
| [11:34] | call is for the dirty. | 非打炮即交媾 |
| [11:37] | What’s that from? | 这句话哪儿来的 |
| [11:38] | 苏斯博士: 知名儿童图书的作家 引用原书《你想去的地方 》 | |
| [11:38] | Dr. Seuss’ “Oh, the places you’ll put it in”? | 苏斯博士的《你想”放进去”的地方》吗 |
| [11:43] | Okay, boys, break it up. | 好了 伙计们 别闹了 |
| [11:44] | Go about your business. Nothing to see. | 各回各家 各找各妈 |
| [11:45] | Max. | 麦克斯 |
| [11:48] | Max and Johnny’s first date. So proud. | 麦克斯和强尼的第一次约会 真为你骄傲 |
| [11:51] | It’s not a date. | 都说了不是约会 |
| [11:52] | Be home at 11:00… | 门禁是十一点… |
| [11:53] | A.M. | 明早十一点 |
| [11:55] | Uh, Max, you got protection? | 麦克斯 带避孕套了吗 |
| [11:59] | No, I’ve got it. | 不用 我这儿有 |
| [12:01] | Me too. | 我也有 |
| [12:04] | No, sorry. | 哎呀 抱歉 |
| [12:06] | That is pack of gum. | 这包是口香糖 |
| [12:17] | Can we take these masks off now? | 可以把面具摘下来了吗 |
| [12:19] | Whoo. It is hot up in that bunny. | 哇 这兔子里面好热 |
| [12:23] | Are we wearing these | 我们戴着面具 |
| [12:23] | so no one’ll be able to pick us out of a lineup? | 是怕被抓之后有人指认出我们吗 |
| [12:25] | Yeah, that. | 是的 这是一部分 |
| [12:27] | And I always wanted to see a rat with big boobs. | 加上我一直很想看大胸老鼠 |
| [12:30] | Well, here he is. | 来 满足你 |
| [12:34] | All right. Now for the most crucial part of the art process, | 好了 现在到了这艺术最重要的一环 |
| [12:39] | beer break. | 喝酒休息时间 |
| [12:40] | That makes sense. | 有道理 |
| [12:41] | Been here four minutes. | 都忙活四分钟了 |
| [12:47] | Gentleman. | 真绅士 |
| [12:50] | Look over there. You can see Manhattan. | 看那边 你能看见曼哈顿 |
| [12:53] | Oh, yeah. | 对哦 |
| [12:54] | She’s a bitch. | 她就是个贱货 |
| [12:57] | Always shoving her stuff in your face. | 总是把她美好的一面展现在你面前 |
| [12:59] | You can never have it. | 你却无法企及 |
| [13:00] | Yeah. | 对啊 |
| [13:01] | I’d never want to live in Manhattan. | 我从来不想在曼哈顿生活 |
| [13:03] | – ‘Cause you can’t afford it? – Yeah. | -因为你活不起吗 -是啊 |
| [13:08] | She is beautiful, though. | 虽然如此 她还是很美 |
| [13:11] | Yeah, she is. | 她真的很美 |
| [13:17] | Well, we should get back to work. | 我们该继续干活了 |
| [13:20] | Bunny’s gotta hop. | 兔哥得开工啦 |
| [13:34] | How many more times do you need to hear it? | 还要我说多少次你才信啊 |
| [13:36] | He didn’t kiss me. | 他没有亲我 |
| [13:37] | Maybe it wasn’t the right time. | 或许是时机不对 |
| [13:39] | Overlooking the New York skyline, | 俯瞰纽约夜景 |
| [13:41] | a hundred feet in the air, bathed in moonlight? | 在一百英尺的高空沐浴着月光 |
| [13:43] | Yeah, that’s a crappy time. | 还真不是个好时机啊 |
| [13:45] | Maybe he didn’t want to make a move | 或许他不想采取行动 |
| [13:46] | because he doesn’t know you like him. | 是因为他不知道你喜欢他 |
| [13:48] | I leaned in. I leaned for a kiss. | 我都靠过去了 我靠过去等他亲 |
| [13:50] | Maybe you had a breath situation. | 说不定是你当时有口臭 |
| [13:52] | What did you eat? What had you eaten? | 你吃什么了 你昨天吃过啥 |
| [13:54] | Nothing. | 什么也没吃 |
| [13:55] | Okay, but sometimes when you don’t eat, it’s worse, | 好吧 有时候什么都没吃 反而更糟呢 |
| [13:57] | because you start to grind up your feelings. | 胃里只能消化情绪 |
| [13:59] | Then you get stomach breath. | 然后搞得嘴巴净是胃酸味 |
| [14:01] | I wouldn’t kiss Ryan Gosling with stomach breath. | 有胃酸味 是瑞恩·高斯林我也不亲 |
| [14:04] | – Yes, you would. – Yes, I would. | -还是会亲啦 -你肯定会亲 |
| [14:07] | I’m finally making progress on the papers. | 我终于把这堆报纸整理得差不多了 |
| [14:10] | FDR是富兰克林· 德拉诺·罗斯福的全称 美国第32位总统 死于1945年 | |
| [14:10] | Oh, no, FDR died of polio. | 天啊 罗斯福总统死于小儿麻痹症 |
| [14:15] | Oh, look. They cured polio. | 瞧 他们找出小儿麻痹症的疫苗了 |
| [14:19] | Jackpot. This place is a freakin’ cat factory. | 中奖啦 这个地方是一个猫咪工厂 |
| [14:24] | And they’re alive. How refreshing. | 它们居然活着 太不容易了 |
| [14:27] | There’s, like, 45 kittens in this box, | 这盒子里大概有四十五只小猫吧 |
| [14:30] | and I think one of these kittens just had kittens. | 我觉得其中一只刚刚生了小猫 |
| [14:34] | Kittens having kittens. | 小猫生小猫 财源滚滚呀 |
| [14:36] | Hey, Douglas, we found some kittens. | 道格拉斯 我们发现了些小猫 |
| [14:38] | Those are not my kittens. | 那不是我的猫 |
| [14:41] | Okay. What about this mountain of butterfinger wrappers? | 好吧 这堆成山的巧克力棒包装纸呢 |
| [14:44] | Those are my wrappers. | 那些是我的包装纸 |
| [14:46] | I need those. | 那些我还要 |
| [14:48] | I haven’t even seen him yet. I love this show. | 虽然还没看到主角 但我爱死这场秀了 |
| [14:51] | Douglas, if you’re comfortable with me | 道格拉斯 你都不介意 |
| [14:53] | selling all this sort-of-valuable stuff on eBay, | 我把这些值点小钱的东西放在易趣上卖了 |
| [14:55] | why do you need to keep a box full of butterfinger wrappers? | 为什么还要保留这一箱子巧克力棒包装纸呢 |
| [14:59] | I don’t want to think about it! | 老子懒得想 |
| [15:02] | See, Max? | 瞧 麦克斯 |
| [15:03] | This is what happens when you don’t deal with your feelings. | 这就是不处理自己感情的后果 |
| [15:05] | You start collecting butterfinger wrappers, | 一开始只是收集巧克力棒包装纸 |
| [15:07] | and next thing you know you’re an old lady in a rest home, | 再回头已身在养老院 |
| [15:10] | and you’re thinking “why didn’t he kiss me?” | 而且还在纠结”当年为什么他不亲我” |
| [15:13] | Why didn’t he kiss me? | 为什么他不亲我 |
| [15:15] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [15:17] | Why didn’t you kiss him? | 为什么你不亲他 |
| [15:19] | You obviously like him, right? | 很明显 你喜欢他不是吗 |
| [15:21] | Max, stop hoarding your feelings. | 麦克斯 别再囤积你的感情了 |
| [15:23] | Just admit that you like him. | 承认你喜欢他吧 |
| [15:26] | I like him. | 我喜欢他 |
| [15:26] | Okay, good. | 好 很好 |
| [15:27] | There’s one box of butterfinger wrappers gone. | 这箱子巧克力棒包装纸解决了 |
| [15:30] | What? | 什么 |
| [15:33] | Douglas, it’s a metaphor. | 道格拉斯 我这是比喻 |
| [15:35] | So next time you see him, why don’t you just kiss him? | 下次你见他时 何不直接亲他呢 |
| [15:38] | I don’t know if I can kiss him first. | 我不知道该不该主动 |
| [15:40] | Just kiss him already! | 亲就是了 少废话 |
| [15:45] | Wait, there’s another person in here? | 等等 这里还有另一个人啊 |
| [15:47] | Butt out, mother. | 少管闲事 老妈 |
| [15:49] | Those are my kittens, young lady. | 那些是我的小猫 小妞 |
| [15:51] | Hold up. He’s hoarding another hoarder in here? | 慢着 他居然囤积着另外一个囤积狂 |
| [15:54] | Awesome. | 太帅了 |
| [16:02] | I can’t believe you put | 真不敢相信你把 |
| [16:02] | the platypus foot rest in the trash. | 鸭嘴兽脚踏板当垃圾扔了 |
| [16:05] | On eBay we could get at least three to six dollars for it. | 那东西能在易趣上卖三到六块吧 |
| [16:08] | I’m gonna tell you this one more time. | 我再重申一遍 |
| [16:09] | It’s a possum, and it died at least three to six years ago. | 那是只负鼠 它至少死了三到六年了 |
| [16:13] | Oh, my god. There’s Johnny. | 天啊 居然碰到强尼 |
| [16:15] | This is a Katherine Heigl movie. | 你俩就像在演浪漫爱情片 |
| [16:18] | What are you guys doing in this neighborhood? | 你们俩在这区干嘛 |
| [16:24] | Oh, hello. Sorry to interrupt you, | 你好 抱歉打扰你们一下 |
| [16:26] | but what the hell’s going on here? | 但你们俩是在搞什么 |
| [16:29] | This is, uh… | 这位是… |
| [16:30] | I’m Cashandra, his girlfriend. | 我是卡珊德拉 他的女朋友 |
| [16:32] | Who are you? | 你是谁 |
| [16:38] | I’m Max, and, um, that’s how I say hi to everyone. | 我是麦克斯 这是我打招呼的方式 |
| [16:44] | I’m incredibly friendly. | 我和蔼可亲到不可思议 |
| [16:46] | She’s so friendly. | 她特别和蔼可”亲” |
| [16:53] | Here’s table ten, Earl. | 10号桌买单 厄尔 |
| [16:54] | Are you okay, Max? | 你还好吧 麦克斯 |
| [16:56] | Rumor has it that you had your heart broken. | 有传闻说你心都碎了 |
| [16:58] | I didn’t have my heart broken. | 我才没有心碎呢 |
| [17:00] | And that’s why I don’t listen to rumors. | 所以我才不听信传闻呢 |
| [17:03] | Max, I want to announce I have ended my bromance | 麦克斯 我宣布我跟你的男朋友强尼 |
| [17:06] | with your boyfriend, Johnny. | 断绝兄弟情了 |
| [17:08] | I hate the player as well as the game. | 情义和兄弟我都不要了 |
| [17:12] | Never was my boyfriend. | 他从来就不是我男朋友 |
| [17:15] | I would like to offer myself for rebound sex. | 我自愿牺牲肉体 让你床上蹂躏发泄 |
| [17:19] | Or, if not, I can just beat the crap out of him. | 如果不乐意 我也可以帮你暴打他一顿 |
| [17:25] | Caroline, did you have to tell everyone? | 卡洛琳 你非要搞得人尽皆知吗 |
| [17:27] | I’m sorry, but I’m not keeping that up in my head. | 抱歉 但我可不想自己守秘密 |
| [17:30] | I’m not going butterfingers. | 我不想变成情感囤积狂 |
| [17:36] | I can’t believe he has a girlfriend. | 真不敢相信他有女朋友了 |
| [17:38] | Are you happy now? | 你现在高兴了吧 |
| [17:39] | You got me to admit that I like him, | 你让我承认我喜欢他 |
| [17:40] | and then you got me to kiss him. | 还说服了我去亲他 |
| [17:42] | And then I kissed his beautiful girlfriend, | 然后我还亲了他那个漂亮女友 |
| [17:44] | who is black and British, | 一个英国血统的黑人 |
| [17:45] | the two cool things I can never be. | 血统和肤色我都望尘莫及 |
| [17:48] | I’m sorry, but he led you on. | 我错了 但他也不该误导你啊 |
| [17:50] | Oh, did he? | 他有吗 |
| [17:51] | I think you and Douglas’ mother led me on. | 都是你和道格拉斯的母亲在推波助澜吧 |
| [17:56] | This is not my fault. | 这又不是我的错 |
| [17:57] | He’s the one who’s hoarding women. | 他才是那个囤积女人狂啊 |
| [18:03] | Hi. | 好吗 |
| [18:05] | Yeah, you must be to come back in here. | 是啊 你非来不可 |
| [18:09] | Can we talk? | 我们能谈谈吗 |
| [18:11] | Pick up, Max. | 上菜 麦克斯 |
| [18:11] | Table three, table nine. | 3号桌 9号桌 |
| [18:13] | Table 69. | 69号桌 |
| [18:16] | Not a good time. | 时机不对 |
| [18:18] | – Max, look… – Johnny, stop. | -麦克斯 听我说 -强尼 算了 |
| [18:20] | You don’t need to “Max, look” me. | 不用说”麦克斯 听我说”这种废话 |
| [18:21] | It’s cool. You never led me on. | 我没事 你从没误导我 |
| [18:24] | You never put your hands on me. | 你从没碰过我 |
| [18:25] | You never even kissed me. | 你也从没亲过我 |
| [18:28] | Food! | 上菜了 |
| [18:29] | Hey, better make sure he doesn’t have a girlfriend | 最好先确认他有没有一个 |
| [18:32] | who’s beautiful, black, and British. | 英国血统的漂亮黑妞女朋友 |
| [18:36] | Max, look, I wanted to kiss you. | 麦克斯 听我说 我是想亲你 |
| [18:38] | I want to kiss you. | 我想亲你 |
| [18:39] | I just didn’t want to be the guy who did it | 我只是不想前情未了 |
| [18:40] | when he’s with someone else. | 就另结新欢 |
| [18:42] | Look, Max, I didn’t know you were gonna come into my life. | 麦克斯 我未曾预料你会闯入我的生命中 |
| [18:45] | I didn’t know I was gonna have these feelings for you, | 也绝没想到会对你动了心 |
| [18:46] | but all of a sudden it’s “Max” all the time in my head. | 但突然间 我的脑海中全都是你 挥之不去 |
| [18:49] | Cassandra and I have or-or had something, | 卡桑德拉和我之间有感情 或曾经有过一段情 |
| [18:53] | and there is or was love there, | 我们二人是相爱的 或曾经爱过 |
| [18:55] | and-and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do | 如今我却对你暗生情愫 |
| [18:58] | with all my feelings for you. | 实在难以抉择 |
| [19:00] | Johnny, I just spent two days | 强尼 我刚花了两天 |
| [19:02] | wading through someone else’s garbage, | 千辛万苦的替别人收拾垃圾 |
| [19:04] | and quite frankly, I don’t have the time or the energy | 说实话 我没那时间也没那精力 |
| [19:07] | to go through all the clowns and candy wrappers you’ve got | 把你脑子里犹豫的小丑和纠结的糖果纸 |
| [19:09] | going on up in there. | 也都理一遍 |
| [19:11] | And the next time you invite someone | 还有 下次你要跟别人 |
| [19:13] | to a booty call on a billboard… | 于广告看板上约炮时 |
| [19:14] | It wasn’t a booty call. | 我不是约炮 |
| [19:16] | I think everyone knows | 大家都知道 |
| [19:17] | if it’s after 2:30, the call is for the dirty. | 相约两点半后 不打炮即交媾 |
| [19:21] | And p.s., we’ve known each other six months, | 顺便说一句 我们都认识六个月了 |
| [19:24] | and you never told me you had a girlfriend. | 你从没跟我说过你有女朋友 |
| [19:27] | You should have worn the rat mask. | 你才是应该戴鼠辈面具的人 |
| [19:30] | And that’s all she wrote. | 麦克斯绝笔 |
| [19:40] | Silver lining time? | 来说个好消息吧 |
| [19:43] | We didn’t have to change | 我们很幸运 不用帮 |
| [19:43] | Douglas and his mother’s diapers? | 道格拉斯和他妈妈换尿布吗 |
| [19:46] | We made $240 for the cupcake business | 那堆垃圾在易趣上卖了二百四十块 |
| [19:48] | selling all that crap on eBay. | 开店基金又多了不少 |
| [19:50] | Yup. I made some money, and all I lost was my mind. | 不错 钱是挣到了 但心却伤了 |
| [19:54] | Want to hear something you don’t want to hear? | 想听一些你不想听的话吗 |
| [19:56] | I think what Johnny said to you was beautiful. | 我觉得强尼说的话很动人 |
| [19:59] | You think a squirrel holding an acorn is beautiful. | 你觉得松鼠拿着松子也很动人呢 |
| [20:02] | He didn’t touch you or kiss you | 他没有碰你或亲你 |
| [20:03] | because he didn’t want to start a relationship | 是因为他不想让你们的感情 |
| [20:05] | with you out of a lie. | 建立在谎言上 |
| [20:06] | You know what? You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [20:07] | You’ve been right all along. | 你一直都是对的 |
| [20:09] | It is like Romeo and Juliet. | 我们的确像罗密欧与茱丽叶 |
| [20:10] | And now I’m gonna go home and kill myself. | 我现在该是我回家自杀的时刻了 |
| [20:14] | I don’t think romance is in the cards for me. | 我觉得浪漫爱情故事没我的份 |
| [20:16] | I give guys blue balls, not broken hearts. | 男人只会上我到蛋疼 从不会心疼 |
| [20:18] | Oh, my god. Don’t kill yourself yet, Juliet. | 我的老天 茱丽叶 先别死 |
| [20:21] | I definitely think romance is in your cards. | 我觉得你就是浪漫爱情故事的主角 |
| [20:25] | That’s not me. | 那不是我 |
| [20:27] | That’s not his girlfriend. | 那也不是他的女朋友 |
| [20:30] | Come on, will you at least admit that that’s you | 拜托 你至少承认那是你吧 |
| [20:31] | and that he put it up there because he wanted you to see it? | 他画在那里就是想让你看见 |
| [20:33] | And that’s actually incredibly romantic. | 真是浪漫到不行啊 |
| [20:36] | Oh, yeah. That’s the most romantic picture | 是啊 这副浪漫的画像 |
| [20:38] | of a guy who might be kissing someone | 是一个男的可能在亲 |
| [20:39] | who might look like me, | 一个可能像我的人 |
| [20:40] | but he didn’t because he has a hot British girlfriend | 但实际他没有 因为他有一个英国辣女友 |
| [20:43] | who seems like kind of a bitch, | 虽然看起来像个泼妇 |
| [20:44] | but is kind of cooler than I will ever be. | 但是确实拥有我不可企及的酷 |
| [20:47] | I dare you to organize that thought. | 你把这个想法整理给我看看啊 |
| [20:50] | There’s no one cooler than you. | 没人比你更酷 |
| [20:52] | You’re 200 feet tall. | 你有二百英尺高呢 |
| [20:54] | Yeah, and a bird just took a crap on me. | 是啊 有只鸟刚把屎拉我身上了 |
| [20:57] | Come on. | 走吧 |
| [21:02] | Come on. | 走呀 |