| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Evening, ladies. Gals’ night out? | 晚上好 女士们 姐妹们的聚会吗 |
| [00:02] | Chasing guys, eating pie, having fun. | 泡泡男人 吃吃馅饼 找找乐子 |
| [00:05] | This table is sticky! Run a damp rag across it! | 这桌子黏死了 快拿块湿布擦擦 |
| [00:10] | Would it kill you to clean a little? | 你们弄干净点会死吗 |
| [00:12] | What kinda place is this? | 这是什么鬼地方啊 |
| [00:14] | The kind that serves soup cold. | 只上残羹冷炙的破地方 |
| [00:16] | And what’s with your crazy earrings? | 你那夸张的耳环是干嘛 |
| [00:18] | What are you, some kinda gypsy? | 你以为你是吉普赛人啊 |
| [00:19] | Okay. Whoa! Hold up, ladies. | 够了 别说了 女士们 |
| [00:22] | You don’t get a bitch pass just ’cause you’re old. | 别以为快入土为安 耍泼就没人管了 |
| [00:27] | Yes, that’s right. I said it. | 对 没错 我就要骂 |
| [00:29] | You come in here with your gangster granny attitude, | 你们带着流氓老太的态度来这里 |
| [00:32] | think you can get away with | 觉得把气撒在 |
| [00:33] | dumping all over the lowly gypsy waitress. | 下层吉普赛服务员身上也没人敢骂 |
| [00:35] | No way. | 做梦 |
| [00:36] | At this diner, we don’t discriminate due to age. | 本餐厅不搞尊老爱幼那一套 |
| [00:39] | If you’re gonna act like an ass, | 你们如果继续这么讨打 |
| [00:40] | I’m gonna treat you like an ass… | 那老娘不介意也暴打你们一顿 |
| [00:43] | No matter how close that ass is riding to the floor. | 别以为你们屁股”垂垂”老矣 我就会多敬几分 |
| [00:48] | Now, I’ll wipe off the table we’ll take it from the top. | 我先擦一下桌子 然后从头开始 |
| [00:52] | Hi, I’m Max. Who wants tapioca? | 你们好 我是麦克斯 谁想来点木薯 |
| [00:58] | That’s more like it. | 这样才乖嘛 |
| [00:59] | Save the disappointment for the grandkids. | 把失望的心情留到见孙子时再用吧 |
| [01:14] | Earl, I need another book of checks. | 厄尔 我得要个新的账单本 |
| [01:16] | The last one fell between the refrigerator and the oven. | 原来那本掉进烤箱和冰箱中间了 |
| [01:18] | I’d reach for it, but that falls between | 我有去捡的念头 可那念头也掉进了 |
| [01:19] | “I don’t do that” and “oh, hell no.” | “懒得捡”和”恶心不想捡”之间 |
| [01:23] | Look overthere, Max. | 看啊 麦克斯 |
| [01:25] | Men and women in suits. | 西装革履的成功人士 |
| [01:27] | This neighborhood is definitely on the rise. | 咱这一区开始向上发展了 |
| [01:29] | I remember a time when a black man couldn’t get a cab around here. | 想当年黑人在这附近还打不上车呢 |
| [01:32] | And that time was Wednesday. | “当年”是指这周三 |
| [01:35] | Max, I was just talking to the smart couples in booth two. | 麦克斯 我刚跟二号卡座的聪明人聊天了 |
| [01:38] | I know they’re smart because they’re the first people in here | 我知道他们聪明 是因为他们是这家店 |
| [01:41] | who ever ordered the croque monsieur as croque monsieur | 所有点”咬先生”的人中第一批念对的人 |
| [01:41] | croque monsieur: 法语直译为”咬先生” 是法国式火腿干酪热三明治 | |
| [01:43] | and not “crock monster.” | 别人都读成”口交先生” |
| [01:48] | They wanna meet the woman who made the cupcakes. | 他们求见做小蛋糕的师傅 |
| [01:50] | I told them you’d be right over. | 我告诉他们你很快就过去 |
| [01:51] | – Go! They’re so nice. – No, they’re not nice. | -去吧 他们人很好的 -不 他们才不是好人 |
| [01:54] | They’re trendy, blood-sucking locusts | 他们是披着时装的吸血蝗虫 |
| [01:56] | who come into this neighborhood to pillage and destroy | 来这里掠夺和摧毁这一带 |
| [01:58] | everything I care about. | 我所在乎的一切 |
| [01:59] | I felt the same way when the Hilton sisters | 我21岁生日派对 希尔顿姐妹不请自来 |
| [02:01] | crashed my 21st birthday. | 我也是这感觉 |
| [02:06] | What? | 干嘛 |
| [02:07] | You made these cupcakes? | 这小蛋糕是你做的吗 |
| [02:09] | Yeah, what’s the problem? | 是 有什么问题吗 |
| [02:10] | Spit it out, I’ve got a life. | 有屁就快放 老娘忙着呢 |
| [02:12] | We just wanted to tell you that your flavor palate is… | 我们是想告诉你 你这口味 |
| [02:15] | amazing. | 一流啊 |
| [02:17] | I don’t know who you are or where you came from– | 虽然我不知道你是谁 从哪来 |
| [02:19] | Neither do I. | 我也不知道 |
| [02:21] | But these are fabulous. | 但这蛋糕口味一级棒 |
| [02:25] | Well, welcome to the neighborhood. | 欢迎来到本社区 |
| [02:27] | I knew I liked you guys. | 我就知道我会喜欢你们 |
| [02:31] | So what did the trendy locusts want? | 那些穿着时装的蝗虫想干嘛 |
| [02:33] | You are so judgmental, you know that? | 你也太以貌取人了吧 |
| [02:36] | They wanted to tell me the cupcakes are “fabulous.” | 人家想称赞我 蛋糕做得”一级棒” |
| [02:40] | Thank you. | 现在信了吧 |
| [02:40] | Maybe now you’ll finally start to get it | 被除了我之外的人夸 |
| [02:42] | if someone besides me tells you how good they are. | 可以相信你的小蛋糕是真好吃了吧 |
| [02:44] | I believe the word was “fabulous.” | 不是好吃 人家是说”一级棒” |
| [02:48] | Pick up, Max. | 上菜 麦克斯 |
| [02:49] | Oleg, from now on, you may call me | 奥列格 以后请称我为 |
| [02:51] | Countess Max of the fabulous cupcakes. | 一级棒小蛋糕女爵麦克斯 |
| [02:54] | And you may call me Sir Oleg of the amazing party in my pants. | 也请称我 裆中欢乐无极限男爵奥列格 |
| [03:03] | Caroline, the happy, shiny people in suits | 卡洛琳 那些西装革履的开心人士 |
| [03:05] | asked me to give you this note. | 让我把这纸条给你 |
| [03:07] | Oh, what a great idea! | 这个主意真棒 |
| [03:09] | They suggested we sell Max’s cupcakes | 他们建议我们把麦克斯的小蛋糕 |
| [03:11] | at the cool new coffee place in their building. | 拿去他们楼里新开的那家咖啡店卖 |
| [03:13] | But you already sell cupcakes here in my diner. | 但你们已经在我这家餐厅卖了呀 |
| [03:17] | Han, we’re building a cupcake business | 憨 我们要开一家 |
| [03:19] | that will one day get us out of here. | 某天能助我们飞出这里的蛋糕店 |
| [03:21] | That’s what we’re trying to do with our lives. | 我们的目标是要脱离苦海 |
| [03:23] | But I thought we had something special. | 我们之间这情谊难道是假的吗 |
| [03:27] | Yes, but we’re not exclusive. | 可我们也没有订终身啊 |
| [03:29] | The diner’s cute, but I want more than this. | 这儿是挺好的 可我要的不止如此 |
| [03:34] | Oof. | 哎哟 |
| [03:35] | First girlfriend all over again. | 初恋女友的台词又重现了 |
| [03:43] | Hey, Johnny. | 你好呀 强尼 |
| [03:43] | Max has the tables against the wall. | 麦克斯负责的桌子在墙那边 |
| [03:45] | Oh, we’re good in your section. | 我们在你这区呆着就好 |
| [03:46] | Caroline, I want you to meet my buddy Carlos. | 卡洛琳 这是我的朋友卡洛斯 |
| [03:49] | What’s happenin’? | 有啥子新鲜事嘛 |
| [03:52] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [03:53] | Well, I’m working the counter. | 我负责的区在柜台那 |
| [03:56] | What’s happenin’? Come on, dude. | 有啥子新鲜事 你不是吧 |
| [03:57] | You have a literature degree from NYU. | 你可是纽约大学的文学院毕业的 |
| [03:59] | I didn’t mean to say that, but when I get nervous, | 这话下意识就说出来了 每次我一紧张 |
| [04:01] | my Rico Suave comes out. | 说话就自动变得流里流气 |
| [04:03] | It won’t happen again. | 下次绝不再犯 |
| [04:05] | And here’s two menus. | 给你们两张菜单 |
| [04:07] | What’s happenin’? | 有啥子新鲜事嘛 |
| [04:11] | Dude, I’m nervous. | 兄弟 我真的很紧张 |
| [04:13] | Hey, guys, I’m in that section over there. | 伙计们 我的区在那边呢 |
| [04:15] | Oh, we’re good in Caroline’s area. | 我们在卡洛琳这区呆着就行 |
| [04:17] | Well, if you like hot coffee in your pants area, | 你要是喜欢裤裆这区被撒热咖啡 |
| [04:20] | you’re in the right place. | 坐这里就对了 |
| [04:22] | Actually, I like that. | 老实说 我喜欢 |
| [04:26] | Coming right at you. | 马上为您送来 |
| [04:30] | Johnny’s in your section. | 强尼在你那区坐着呢 |
| [04:31] | Yeah, why? | 是啊 为什么呀 |
| [04:32] | He comes in here every night to see you. | 他每晚来这儿明明就是为了见你 |
| [04:34] | He’s your friends or…crush or whatever he is. | 他是你的朋友 或是情迷对象什么的 |
| [04:36] | Shh! He’s not a crush. He’s a… | 闭嘴 他才不让我情迷意乱呢 他只是… |
| [04:38] | I don’t know what he is, but whatever he is, | 我不知道他算什么 现在重点是 |
| [04:40] | he’s in your section. | 他去坐了你那区 |
| [04:46] | – Max! – Ooh! What are you doing? | -麦克斯 -你这是干嘛 |
| [04:47] | You’re not supposed to be in here. | 你不能进来的 |
| [04:49] | I know, I’m a bad boy. | 我知道 我是个小坏蛋 |
| [04:53] | Look, the reason I’m not sitting in your section | 听着 我之所以不坐在你那区 |
| [04:54] | is because my buddy Carlos is crushing pretty hard on Caroline | 是因为我朋友卡洛斯对卡洛琳超级动心 |
| [04:57] | and he asked me to do what I can to hook them up. | 他求我尽力去帮他牵线 |
| [05:00] | Oh. So now you’re a bartender, | 哦 原来你的职业不光是酒保 |
| [05:02] | a street artist, and a pimp. | 还是街头艺术家和皮条客 |
| [05:04] | Ain’t nuttin’ wrong with me pimpin’ some boy on the side. | 兼职帮小弟弟拉拉皮条有啥不对 |
| [05:06] | Keeps me in spray paint and whatnot. | 不然哪有钱搞艺术什么的 |
| [05:09] | So? | 所以呢 |
| [05:10] | From pimp to pimp… | 马夫 老鸨之间不说暗话 |
| [05:14] | Help me out with your girl. | 帮我把你的妹子搞到手吧 |
| [05:17] | My girl don’t come cheap. | 我的妹子可不是这么好”搞”的 |
| [05:22] | Is it hot in here? | 这里是不是有点热呀 |
| [05:26] | Yes, and we’re in a freezer. | 是啊 我们还是在冷藏室呢 |
| [05:28] | Yes. My freezer. | 没错 在我的冷藏室 |
| [05:31] | I was, uh, just talking to Max. | 我就进来跟麦克斯聊两句 |
| [05:33] | Um, I’ll see you out there. | 外面见 |
| [05:41] | – So is this what you like in the man? – What? | -你就喜欢这货吗 -什么 |
| [05:45] | No. He’s just a customer that went rogue. | 不 他只是个耍流氓的顾客而已 |
| [05:48] | He is weak and girlish. | 他又弱又娘 |
| [05:51] | A woman like you needs a real man. | 真正的汉子才配得上风华绝代的你 |
| [05:53] | You know what they say. | 常言道 |
| [05:55] | Once you go Ukraine, you will scream with sex pain. | 一旦去了乌克兰 做爱疼痛不叫难 |
| [06:03] | That probably lost some of its sensual appeal in the translation, | 原来充满情欲的句子 经你翻译失色不少 |
| [06:06] | but thanks for the offer, Oleg. | 但还是感谢你的邀请 奥列格 |
| [06:11] | Cute, but I’m not interested. | 人还行 但是我没兴趣 |
| [06:13] | Besides, he’s not my type. | 再说了 他不是我的菜 |
| [06:15] | Just say it. | 你就直说吧 |
| [06:16] | You’re not interested in him because he’s Puerto Rican. | 你对他不感兴趣是因为他是波多黎各人 |
| [06:19] | Where did you get this idea that I would only date white guys? | 你怎么会觉得我只跟白人约会呢 |
| [06:22] | For your information, I’ve dated all kinds of men. | 告诉你 我可是各种男人都尝过哟 |
| [06:25] | I once had a Spaniard in Monte Carlo. | 我曾经在蒙特卡洛还有个西班牙人男友呢 |
| [06:28] | Isn’t the title of an Abba song? | 怎么听起来像阿巴乐队的歌名啊 |
| [06:31] | Are you sure about this? He’s cute. | 你确定吗 他挺可爱的 |
| [06:33] | And trust me, you could use a little salsa on your white rice. | 相信我 你这碗白女饭可以”上”点莎莎男酱 |
| [06:37] | Max, I just lost every dollar I had. | 麦克斯 我才破产不久 |
| [06:40] | The last thing on my mind right now is guys– | 我现在脑子里最没空想的就是男人 |
| [06:42] | any type of guy. | 什么男人都不想 |
| [06:44] | Except this guy. | 除了他 |
| [06:46] | Hi, Chestnut. | 你好 栗宝 |
| [06:49] | I’m much more concerned with our business | 我更关心我们的生意 |
| [06:51] | and getting my head back above water. | 想着怎么尽快脱离苦海 |
| [06:52] | Men will come sooner or later. | 男人迟早会来的 |
| [06:54] | Well, according to my research most men come sooner. | 根据我的”调查” 男人只会早”来” 不会晚泄 |
| [06:59] | Oh, I thought we should stop by that new coffee place tomorrow | 我觉得明天应该去那家新开的咖啡店 |
| [07:01] | and introduce ourselves and your cupcakes. | 推销你的小蛋糕 做下自我介绍 |
| [07:04] | I’m not gonna walk in there. I feel like I’m selling out. | 我才不去呢 感觉像是出卖自己 |
| [07:06] | Okay, let’s reframe the phrase selling out | 让我们把”出卖”这个词 |
| [07:09] | and make it sold out, as in | 改为”卖光” 比如说 |
| [07:11] | “Max, we sold out of the cupcakes” | “麦克斯 我们的小蛋糕都卖光啦” |
| [07:13] | and are now successful.” | “我们功成名就了” |
| [07:15] | What’s that you say? | 你刚说什么 |
| [07:16] | I can now afford to buy the wax dental floss again? | 是说”我又买得起高档含蜡牙线”了吗 |
| [07:20] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [07:21] | But I’m only doing it so you’ll eventually | 我会同意只是为了让你 |
| [07:22] | get your mind off the business and get laid. | 别老惦记着生意 有空去”滋润”自己 |
| [07:25] | Why do you think I need to get laid so badly? | 你为啥认为我迫切需要被滋润 |
| [07:27] | If I’d just gone through all the tension and trauma that just happened to you, | 如果你承受的压力和创伤发生在我身上 |
| [07:30] | I’d be climbing telephone poles to take the edge off. | 为了寻求安慰 电线杆都会被我磨成针 |
| [07:33] | Trust me, sex is the last thing on my mind right now. | 滚床单这档事 我现在压根就不会想 |
| [07:36] | Oh, and speaking of reframing things, | 说到这方面 |
| [07:39] | I have a surprise. | 我有个惊喜要宣布 |
| [07:40] | I redecorated my room. | 我重新装饰了我的房间 |
| [07:41] | I scoped out some cheap fabric in bedding places | 我在休斯顿街的床品店 |
| [07:44] | down on Houston Street. | 买了点物美价廉的布料 |
| [07:46] | What do you think? | 你觉得如何呀 |
| [07:50] | I think you’ve made a vagina. | 我觉得你把床布置成了阴道 |
| [07:56] | What? | 什么 |
| [07:57] | Sister, you may think that sex is the last thing on your mind, | 姐妹 你虽然嘴上说着不想滚床单 |
| [08:01] | but you turned your bed into a vagina. | 但你老实的身子把床布置成了阴道 |
| [08:06] | Do you think my vagina has curtains? | 我阴道哪来的帘子啊 |
| [08:08] | I don’t know how long it’s been. | 太久没人掀 谁都说不准 |
| [08:11] | I’m tired. I’m going to bed. | 我累了 我要睡觉了 |
| [08:13] | Okay, but I still have to make the cupcakes | 好吧 但是我得做明天 |
| [08:14] | to bring by that place tomorrow. | 带去那里的蛋糕 |
| [08:16] | I don’t wanna keep you awake | 我不想吵醒你 |
| [08:17] | so why don’t you sleep in my bed tonight | 所以今晚你不如去睡我的床 |
| [08:18] | and I’ll pass out on your vagina? | 我就在你阴道上昏睡一晚算了 |
| [08:20] | Okay, but you better buy me breakfast in the morning. | 好吧 “睡”完明早可要请我吃早餐哦 |
| [08:29] | I love this place. Looks like Paris in the ’20s. | 我喜欢这个地方 感觉像是二十年代的巴黎 |
| [08:33] | More like poseurs in their 20s. | 更像二十几岁的伪小资吧 |
| [08:36] | Man, they’ve really cleaned this place up. | 天啊 他们把这地方改头换面了啊 |
| [08:38] | You’ve been here before? | 你以前来过这儿吗 |
| [08:39] | Yeah, it used to be a liquor store | 是啊 这里之前是卖酒的 |
| [08:41] | owned by this old Irish guy | 是一个鸡鸡上长有雀斑的 |
| [08:42] | who had freckles on his penis. | 爱尔兰老头开的 |
| [08:45] | Sometimes he’d corner you and flash it, | 有时候他会把你逼到角落 然后快速露鸟 |
| [08:47] | but then he’d always comp you a free lotto ticket. | 但事后都会送你一张免费的乐透彩票 |
| [08:50] | Okay, well, let’s try and keep that sort of charming nostalgia | 好的 等会推销的时候就别提 |
| [08:52] | out of our sales pitch. | 这种”美好”的往事了吧 |
| [08:54] | Oh, that’s the owner. | 店主在那里 |
| [08:56] | I scoped it out before you got here. | 带你来之前 我已经摸清底细了 |
| [08:57] | And remember, I’ll do the talking. | 记住 话由我来说 |
| [08:59] | Why don’t I get to talk? | 为什么我不能说 |
| [09:01] | Freckled penis. | 长雀斑的鸡鸡 |
| [09:02] | And besides, I have more experience. | 再说了 我比较有经验 |
| [09:04] | All those who pitched business models to Warren Buffett as a member of | 曾以菲利普斯·埃克塞特创业家俱乐部会员身份 |
| [09:07] | the Phillips Exeter Entrepreneurs Club raise their hands. | 向股神巴菲特推销过盈利模式的人 请举手 |
| [09:10] | Holla! | 完胜 |
| [09:12] | Well, if you care enough to raise your arms about it, | 如果你想做到还举手抢着做 |
| [09:14] | fine. You talk. I won’t say anything. | 好吧 你来说 我不会说一个字 |
| [09:17] | Hi, what can I get for you? | 你好 需要点什么吗 |
| [09:20] | Hi, I’m Caroline and this is my business partner Max. | 你好 我是卡洛琳 这位是我的合作伙伴麦克斯 |
| [09:23] | – And you are? – Semhar. | -请问您怎么称呼 -西蒙娜 |
| [09:25] | – Oh, jeez. – Such a pretty name. | -天啊 -好名字 |
| [09:27] | It means “light of the tiger” in Sanskrit. | 在梵文里是”老虎之光”的意思 |
| [09:30] | Oh, jeez. | 天啊 |
| [09:32] | It’s my yoga name. | 是我练瑜珈的名字 |
| [09:34] | Help me, God. | 神啊 救救我吧 |
| [09:36] | Well, Semhar, we just opened a local neighborhood cupcake company. | 西蒙娜 我们刚在本区开了家小蛋糕店 |
| [09:39] | Our card. | 这是我们的名片 |
| [09:40] | We’re introducing our exciting product | 我们来把自家的拳头产品 |
| [09:42] | to local boulangeries. | 介绍给本地的面包店 |
| [09:44] | Please try a sample. Max. | 请试一个我们的样品吧 麦克斯 |
| [09:46] | Would you like coconut-coffee, chocolate-curry, | 你是想来个椰子咖啡味的 巧克力咖喱味 |
| [09:48] | or blueberry-lemon zest? | 还是蓝莓柠檬味 |
| [09:50] | My absolute fave is the coconut-coffee. | 我最喜欢的是椰子咖啡味 |
| [09:53] | Let’s start with that, shall we? | 咱们先从这个试起 好吗 |
| [09:54] | Thank you, but no thank you. | 谢谢 但是不用了 谢谢 |
| [09:59] | Well, can I ask you why? | 能问下原因吗 |
| [10:01] | They’re not pretty enough. | 它们不够漂亮 |
| [10:03] | Excuse me? | 你说什么 |
| [10:05] | They’re not pretty enough. | 它们不够漂亮 |
| [10:08] | Perhaps if you tried one, | 或许你试吃之后 |
| [10:09] | you’d see how amazing our flavor palate is. | 会发现这口味有多棒 |
| [10:12] | Hold off, Flavour Flav. | 打住 弗雷”味” |
| [10:14] | What do you mean, they’re not pretty enough? | 你说它们不够漂亮是什么意思 |
| [10:16] | They have a charming homemade look, | 这小蛋糕有个自制小作坊的可爱外形 |
| [10:19] | but my customer would prefer a more upscale, prettier product. | 但是我的顾客喜欢更高档更漂亮的产品 |
| [10:23] | Just FYI, some upscale residents | 告诉你一下 你这家高档的店 |
| [10:25] | in this very upscale building | 所在的这栋高档的大楼 |
| [10:27] | where your upscale store actually is located | 里面的高档住户 |
| [10:29] | recently told us they were fabulous. | 前不久才夸我们的蛋糕一级棒呢 |
| [10:31] | I understand. | 我懂 |
| [10:33] | But they’re not pretty enough. | 但它们不够漂亮 |
| [10:35] | Listen, Battlefield Earth. | 给我听着 外星人 |
| [10:42] | This is Williamsburg, Brooklyn, | 这里可是布鲁克林的威廉斯堡 |
| [10:45] | and no amount of exposed brick and paint can change the fact that, | 再多仿古砖 再怎么粉刷 也改变不了 |
| [10:48] | right where you’re standing, | 这个地方的本质 |
| [10:50] | I’ve seen Tommy O’Hanlon’s wing-wang | 我在这里看见过无数次 |
| [10:52] | more times than I care to remember. | 前爱尔兰老板的鸡鸡 |
| [10:54] | And I must say, it was way less offensive than your attitude. | 可你的态度还比他的鸡鸡更让人火大 |
| [10:58] | And you can shove that up your upscale. | 你这死人态度就留给你的死人屁眼看吧 |
| [10:59] | Let’s go. | 走吧 |
| [11:02] | – Namaste. – Namaste. | -小生有礼 -小生有礼 |
| [11:02] | Namaste 是尊敬和感谢的意思 瑜珈课结束的时候 师生们会彼此合掌互道一声Namaste | |
| [11:11] | What’s with the empty hands, Max? | 你怎么两手空空来了 麦克斯 |
| [11:13] | No cupcakes tonight? | 今晚没做蛋糕吗 |
| [11:14] | No, they’re bugging me. I decided to take the night off. | 没 蛋糕让我心烦 所以我决定歇一晚 |
| [11:17] | Be careful with decisions like that. | 做这种决定时要小心 |
| [11:19] | In 1987, I took a night off from Earth, Wind, and Fire | 当年我也决定歇一晚 缺席地球风与火乐队 |
| [11:22] | and the next day, they earth, wind, and fired my ass. | 隔天 乐队就风风火火的把我踢出去了 |
| [11:29] | Hi. Sorry I’m late. | 大家好啊 抱歉我来晚了 |
| [11:31] | Mid-afternoon nap in your vagina? | 在你阴道里午后小睡了一把吗 |
| [11:33] | I wish! No. | 我也希望 可惜不是 |
| [11:35] | I went to a cheap bakery supply store in Greenpoint | 我去绿点区一家便宜面包店用品店 |
| [11:37] | and got us some supplies. | 给咱们买了点装备 |
| [11:39] | Here. | 给 |
| [11:39] | It’s the basic cake decorating kit. | 这是基本的蛋糕装饰装备 |
| [11:42] | And best of all I found us a fun, reasonable | 最棒的是 我在一家蛋糕店给咱俩报了 |
| [11:44] | two-session cupcake decorating class at a bakery. | 一个好玩又价格合理的两课时蛋糕装饰课 |
| [11:47] | We can learn how to make pretty roses. | 我们能学到如何做出漂亮的玫瑰花哦 |
| [11:49] | No way. | 做梦 |
| [11:49] | The cupcakes don’t need to be pretty. | 我的蛋糕不需要变漂亮 |
| [11:51] | They compensate by having a great sense of humor. | 它们主攻幽默路线 |
| [11:55] | Pretty cupcakes is just another option for our business. | 漂亮的蛋糕只是我们事业的另一个路线 |
| [11:57] | People want pretty, we do pretty. | 人们喜欢漂亮 我们就做得漂亮 |
| [11:58] | Or people want homemade, we do– | 或者人们喜欢自制 我们就… |
| [12:01] | Wait, where is our homemade? | 等等 我们的自制蛋糕呢 |
| [12:03] | I didn’t make any tonight. | 今晚我没做 |
| [12:04] | You didn’t make any? | 怎么不做啊 |
| [12:06] | What, you get one piece of constructive criticism | 干嘛 就因为人家一次建设性的批评 |
| [12:08] | and you stop making them? | 就不再做蛋糕了吗 |
| [12:11] | Max, it’s business. | 麦克斯 咱们是做生意 |
| [12:12] | And maybe Semhar has a point about making them pretty. | 而且西蒙娜说得也不无道理呀 |
| [12:15] | First of all, what does she know about pretty? | 她懂什么叫做漂亮吗 |
| [12:17] | The woman has dreadlocks. | 一个雷鬼发型的女人懂个毛 |
| [12:20] | Her head looks like the stuff | 她那颗头简直就像 |
| [12:21] | you empty out of a vacuum cleaner bag. | 吸尘器脏物袋里的垃圾似的 |
| [12:24] | Not pretty. | 漂亮个毛呀 |
| [12:25] | Forget her. | 先别说她 |
| [12:27] | What’s happening with you? | 你这态度是干嘛 |
| [12:28] | What’s your problem with pretty? | 你对”漂亮”有什么意见吗 |
| [12:30] | Don’t wave your divas live hand at me. | 少用那天后卖弄唱腔手势在我面前晃 |
| [12:35] | I just think society’s way too concerned | 我觉得现今社会太霸道 |
| [12:36] | with other people’s idea of what’s pretty. | 老要和谐别人心中认为的美 |
| [12:40] | You don’t think you can do it. | 你觉得自己做不到 |
| [12:41] | That’s what this is about. | 所以你才顾左右而言他 |
| [12:43] | This isn’t about society. | 跟社会一点关系都没有 |
| [12:44] | You’re afraid you can’t do pretty. | 你怕自己做不出漂亮的东西 |
| [12:46] | Look, I don’t do pretty | 我是不屑做 |
| [12:47] | the way you don’t do Puerto Ricans. | 就跟你不屑于搞波多黎各仔一样 |
| [12:50] | What are you talking about? | 你瞎说什么呀 |
| [12:51] | I’ll do Puerto Ricans. | 我愿意搞波多黎各仔啊 |
| [12:53] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [12:54] | Then go do one and leave me alone. | 愿搞搞去 别烦我 |
| [12:58] | Max, it’s a skill. That’s all. | 麦克斯 这只是门手艺 仅此而已 |
| [13:00] | It’s not shameful to not know how to do something. | 不会做某事又算不了什么 |
| [13:02] | Didn’t you have piano lessons growing up? | 小时候学钢琴不都这样吗 |
| [13:05] | Seriously? | 你搞笑啊 |
| [13:08] | Ice skating? | 学溜冰刀呢 |
| [13:09] | Closest I’ve come to blades on ice | 我人生中离刀片与冰最近的一次是 |
| [13:10] | was when a pregnant girl pulled a knife on me | 去场冰球赛 被一个大肚妞 |
| [13:12] | at a hockey game. | 拿刀在我面前比划 |
| [13:15] | Look, you and I have a business, | 听着 我们要打开门做生意的 |
| [13:16] | and this is a skill we need. | 我们需要这门手艺 |
| [13:18] | We’re going to that class | 我们一起去上课 |
| [13:19] | and we are gonna master how to make pretty roses. | 然后学会怎么做出漂亮的玫瑰花 |
| [13:21] | And I know how much you hate anything trendy, | 我知道你很讨厌新潮的东西 |
| [13:23] | so I found us a family-owned Italian bakery in Brooklyn. | 特地在附近找了间家族经营的意大利面包店 |
| [13:26] | Italian’s good. | 意大利人好啊 |
| [13:28] | Maybe they’ll know how to dump the body | 等我把你杀了之后 他们应该懂 |
| [13:29] | after I kill you. | 怎么毁尸灭迹 |
| [13:36] | First of all, welcome to Spice and Sugar. | 首先 欢迎来到”辣妹甜心” |
| [13:39] | We did a little twist on the traditional sugar and spice | 我们改动了大家常说的”又甜又辣” |
| [13:42] | putting spice first because… | 把辣放在前面是因为… |
| [13:44] | We’re Italian. | 我们是意大利人 |
| [13:47] | And we always got the spice up front | 我们的热辣丰胸在前 |
| [13:48] | and a little in the rear. | 甜美小翘臀在后 |
| [13:50] | Holla! | 完胜 |
| [13:52] | Now are you embarrassed you ever said holla? | 觉得自己说过”完胜”这个词很丢人了吧 |
| [13:55] | My name is Stephanie, and this is my cousin Serena, | 我叫斯蒂芬妮 这位是我的表姐赛琳娜 |
| [13:58] | and this bakery has been in our family for years | 这家蛋糕店是我们家族传承下来的 |
| [14:01] | and then we took it over and made it… | 经我们接手后 把生意做得 |
| [14:03] | Hot. | 很火爆 |
| [14:06] | All right, let’s go around and introduce ourselves | 好了 大家先来自我介绍吧 |
| [14:08] | and tell us why you came tonight. | 说说你们来这儿上课的原因 |
| [14:10] | Let’s start with the cute guys. | 先从帅哥开始 |
| [14:11] | Always! | 必须的 |
| [14:14] | I’m Steve, | 我叫斯蒂夫 |
| [14:15] | I thought this would be a fun idea for my bachelor party. | 我觉得单身派对有自制小蛋糕应该不错 |
| [14:17] | I’m getting married to Michael…right there. | 我要和迈克结婚了 就是我身旁这位 |
| [14:20] | So cute. God bless! | 真有爱 上帝佑佑 |
| [14:22] | And I’m Michael. | 我是迈克 |
| [14:24] | – I’m Michael as well. – Michael. | -我也叫迈克耶 -我也是 |
| [14:27] | Oh…So many Michaels. | 好多迈克哦 |
| [14:31] | And you are? | 那你叫… |
| [14:32] | Michael. | 迈克 |
| [14:34] | No, I’m Max. | 没啦 我叫麦克斯 |
| [14:35] | Oh, she’s funny. So cute, God bless! | 她真幽默 太可爱了 上帝佑佑 |
| [14:38] | And I’m Caroline. I’m Max’s partner. | 我叫卡洛琳 和麦克斯是搭档 |
| [14:40] | – Oh, so many gays tonight. – I know. | -今晚好多同性恋哦 -就是 |
| [14:43] | No, I’m her business partner. | 不 是生意上的搭档 |
| [14:46] | We actually have our own cupcake business over in Williamsburg, | 其实我们在威廉斯堡有自己的小蛋糕店 |
| [14:48] | and I must say, we’re doing very well. | 我必须说 我们的生意还不错 |
| [14:50] | Max is the baker and I’m the business head | 麦克斯是糕点师 我是生意负责人 |
| [14:53] | and we’re here tonight to increase our skill level | 今晚来这儿是为了提高我们的手艺 |
| [14:55] | and take our business up to a level that’s… | 好让我们的生意更上一层楼 |
| [14:57] | Hot as well. | 好跟你们一样火爆哟 |
| [15:00] | If you’re gonna talk that much, | 要是你再废话连篇的话 |
| [15:01] | no one will have time to learn anything. | 其他人就没时间学习了 |
| [15:04] | I know, right? | 有道理呀 对吧 |
| [15:06] | So, uh, where’s your shop? | 你们的店开在哪里呢 |
| [15:08] | Well, right now, we’re just working out of our apartment. | 目前只是在自己公寓里做 |
| [15:10] | – So no shop. – Oh, that’s sweet. | -所以还没店面 -也不错嘛 |
| [15:12] | – Cute. – Yeah, good luck, God bless. | -还行嘛 -是呀 祝你们好运 上帝佑佑 |
| [15:16] | Can you say jealous? | 是嫉妒还是咋地 |
| [15:17] | All right, let’s start simple with a pretty little icing flower. | 好吧 咱们先从简单的糖霜裱花开始 |
| [15:20] | Everybody pick up your piping bags, | 大家拿起挤花袋 |
| [15:22] | and with a straight-edge tip– | 有”直”边锥形尖头那个 |
| [15:22] | stright一字多义 有”直”和”异性恋”的意思 所以”弯”代表同性恋 | |
| [15:24] | But you guys can use your gay-edge tip. | 你们用”弯”边锥形尖头也行 |
| [15:29] | All right, everybody watch Stephanie. | 好了 大家注意看斯蒂芬妮 |
| [15:30] | You’re gonna take the nail head | 你们得用尖头 |
| [15:31] | and you’re gonna make a little “U” | 做一个小小的”U”出来 |
| [15:33] | so that you get little petals. | 这样花瓣就做出来了 |
| [15:34] | And we’ll do this five times. | 如此重复五次 |
| [15:35] | And then, you have a pretty little five-petal flower. | 就能做出一朵五瓣的花了 |
| [15:37] | – Simple. – So cute. How fun! | -多简单 -多有爱 真好玩 |
| [15:41] | No, no. You gotta start by making a “U”. | 不 不 你得先从”U”做起 |
| [15:44] | I did. That’s a “U”. | 我做了 这是一个”U” |
| [15:45] | Serena, is that a “U”? | 赛琳娜 这是”U”吗 |
| [15:47] | Not a “U”. | 不是 |
| [15:50] | Fine, I’ll start over. | 好吧 我重做一个 |
| [15:52] | That was a “U”. | 那就是”U” |
| [15:53] | And what, just because I don’t have a quote-unquote shop | 就因为我没有一家正儿八经的店面 |
| [15:55] | I don’t know a “U”? | 我就不知道”U”长什么样吗 |
| [15:57] | What’s with the attitude? | 她们这是什么态度呀 |
| [15:58] | All right, let’s leave. | 好吧 那我们走吧 |
| [15:59] | Next time the gays giggle, we’ll just slide out. | 等那群基佬再娘笑 我们立刻脚底抹油 |
| [16:02] | No, we’re here to learn. | 不行 我们是来学习的 |
| [16:04] | That looks good. | 做得挺不错啊 |
| [16:05] | I suck. I’m starting over. | 烂死了 我要重做 |
| [16:08] | Max, why’d you do that? It was good. | 麦克斯 你干嘛啊 真的不错呀 |
| [16:09] | Not good enough. | 不够好 |
| [16:11] | You two not done yet? | 你们俩做完没有 |
| [16:12] | You have to master the little flower, | 你们必须先练熟做小花 |
| [16:14] | or when we move on to roses you’ll be screwed. | 不然之后教做玫瑰时 你们就死定了 |
| [16:17] | – Right, cuz? – Oh, totally screwed. | -对吧 表姐 -当然是死定了 |
| [16:19] | Screwed and not in the good way. | 而且还会死得惨兮兮呢 |
| [16:23] | Do you think we can convince them | 你说我们有没办法 |
| [16:24] | that slapping each other’s face is the new high five? | 拐她们相信最新的击掌方式是互扇耳光呢 |
| [16:29] | Steve, oh, my God. That rose is gorgeous. | 斯蒂夫 天啊 这朵玫瑰太棒了 |
| [16:33] | Good for you. | 有前途啊 |
| [16:34] | All right, one more minute and we’ll display our roses. | 好了 一分钟后大家展示自己的玫瑰花 |
| [16:38] | Steve. Little help. | 斯蒂夫 帮个忙 |
| [16:41] | I choke at timed tests. | 考试一限时我就紧张 |
| [16:42] | I got like a 40 on my SATs. | 当年高考就因此只得了40分 |
| [16:45] | Damn it, Steve! | 靠 斯蒂夫 |
| [16:47] | Look at this place. | 瞧瞧这家店 |
| [16:49] | There’s no way these girls | 在现在这个世道 |
| [16:50] | could have this much cupcake success in this economy. | 这俩妞的生意绝不可能这么成功 |
| [16:52] | I mean, the overhead on this building alone– | 我是说 光是店面的各项管理费用就得… |
| [16:54] | What are you saying? | 什么意思 |
| [16:55] | Not saying mob money, | 我不敢说是黑帮的资金 |
| [16:57] | just saying maybe we’d have a shop too | 但要是我们有黑帮的资金 |
| [16:58] | – if we had mob money. – Shh. | -我们的店也早开成了 -闭嘴 |
| [17:00] | Keep it down. | 小声点 |
| [17:01] | You wanna wake up tomorrow with Chestnut’s head | 你想明早看到栗宝被杀”马”儆猴 |
| [17:03] | in your vagina bed? | 头丢你床上示众吗 |
| [17:06] | Okay, time’s up. Let’s see what you got. | 好了 时间到 看看你们的成果 |
| [17:09] | What is that? There’s like nothing there. | 这是什么 根本就什么都没有嘛 |
| [17:11] | That’s not a rose. | 这哪里是玫瑰花 |
| [17:13] | – It’s minimalist. – Whatev. | -这是极简抽象派 -随便吧 |
| [17:15] | No, not “whatev”. It’s brilliant. | 不 这不是”随便之作” 这是天才之作 |
| [17:17] | And I would know because, when I was in Tokyo, | 我懂这个是因为我在东京时 |
| [17:20] | I had a private Japanese flower arranging class | 师承著名花道研究所的负责人 |
| [17:22] | with the head of the Ikebana institute. | 上过他一对一的课程 |
| [17:24] | And he said I had a gift. | 他说过我天赋异禀 |
| [17:26] | In his words, | 他说… |
| [17:27] | “卡洛琳 你好漂亮啊”[她不懂日语原意] | |
| [17:34] | Whatev. Okay, what about your friend there? | 随便吧 那你的朋友做得怎么样 |
| [17:37] | I kinda ran out of time. | 我时间不够 |
| [17:39] | You had 20 minutes. | 二十分钟还不够啊 |
| [17:40] | I thought she said you were the baker. | 她不是说你是糕点师吗 |
| [17:42] | No, you need to be able to whip these out in like 20 seconds | 不行 你们的小蛋糕店想取得成功 |
| [17:45] | if you wanna be successful in your little bakery. | 这玩意儿你们二十秒内就得搞定啊 |
| [17:47] | “Um, I’d like a cupcake.” “That’ll be 12 hours.” | “我想点个小蛋糕” “十二小时后来取” |
| [17:51] | – Right? – Right. | -对吧 -对 |
| [17:53] | And they have to be prettier than that. | 而且想上台面 还得做得更漂亮点 |
| [17:54] | Well, maybe you’ll do better tomorrow. | 希望你们明天能进步点吧 |
| [17:56] | Remember. Your homework assignment | 记住 你们的家庭作业是 |
| [17:59] | is to bring in a cupcake with a pretty rose on it. | 做一个上面有朵漂亮玫瑰花的小蛋糕来 |
| [18:04] | Right. Like we’re gonna come back here | 对啊 好像我们明天还会乖乖过来 |
| [18:05] | and spend time with these Robert de Nir-hoes. | 跟这俩意大利婊子浪费时间 |
| [18:13] | Ugh! That one stinks too. Damn it! | 这个也好难看 我靠 |
| [18:18] | Max, forget it. | 麦克斯 算了吧 |
| [18:20] | It’s 3:00 A.M. Go to bed. | 都凌晨三点了 去睡觉吧 |
| [18:22] | Don’t. Don’t say anything to me. | 闭嘴 不准跟我说话 |
| [18:24] | I am so mad at you right now. | 我现在超级不爽你 |
| [18:26] | – What did I do? – Everything. | -我哪里惹到你了 -就是惹到了 |
| [18:28] | I used to love making cupcakes. | 我以前可喜欢做蛋糕了 |
| [18:30] | It was the one thing I could zone out | 那是唯一可以让我放空 |
| [18:31] | and do without thinking. | 不用想任何事情 |
| [18:32] | And now all I’m doing is thinking. | 现在我脑子却一直在想 |
| [18:34] | Thinking that I stink at making cupcakes. | 想我做蛋糕的技术有多烂 |
| [18:36] | Well, stop it. | 别这样 |
| [18:37] | Who cares what they think? They’re bitchy baking bullies. | 管她们怎么说呢 她俩就是糕点流氓 |
| [18:42] | We don’t have to go back there. | 我们大不了不回去上课了 |
| [18:43] | Oh, and then what? | 然后呢 |
| [18:45] | I’m gonna think my cupcakes weren’t good enough | 让我抱着我做蛋糕技术很差的想法 |
| [18:46] | for the rest of my life? | 度过余生吗 |
| [18:48] | You said we need the skill, then we need the skill. | 你说我们得学手艺 我们就得学成才走 |
| [18:50] | I’m a lot of things, but I’m not a quitter. | 我虽然不是什么好人 但绝对不是缩头乌龟 |
| [18:53] | I’m gonna make a stupid, pretty cupcake if it kills me. | 不做出个该死的漂亮小蛋糕 我不死不休 |
| [18:56] | Or you. | 你死也不休 |
| [18:58] | And you are going back there with me. | 而且你不准临阵脱逃 |
| [19:00] | And we’re gonna shove our pretty cupcake | 我们得做出漂亮的小蛋糕 |
| [19:01] | right up Snooki and her cousin’s asses. | 给山寨斯努奇和她表姐的狗眼瞧瞧 |
| [19:01] | 斯努奇 真人秀《新泽西海岸》成员之一 有意大利血统 行为大胆荒唐 | |
| [19:04] | Now, shut up, don’t talk to me, | 你就把嘴闭上 别跟我说话 |
| [19:07] | and go back in your vagina. | 滚回你的阴道床睡觉去 |
| [19:11] | Sorry you had to see that, Chestnut. | 抱歉让你目睹了这一幕 栗宝 |
| [19:19] | Oh, not very pretty. | 不是很漂亮 |
| [19:22] | But at least you tried, Michael. | 但至少你努力过了 迈克 |
| [19:24] | Just one question. | 我只有个问题 |
| [19:25] | Are you sure that you’re gay? | 手这么不巧 你真的是同性恋吗 |
| [19:32] | Oh, okay, Caroline. Let’s see your pretty rose. | 好了 卡洛琳 来看看你漂亮的玫瑰花 |
| [19:34] | I didn’t do one. Society is way too concerned | 我没做 因为现今社会太霸道 |
| [19:35] | with other people’s idea of what’s pretty. | 老要和谐别人心中认为的美 |
| [19:38] | Whatevs. | 随便吧 |
| [19:40] | Okay, what about your baker there? | 那好 你的糕点师呢 |
| [19:41] | She bail too? | 她也没做吗 |
| [19:43] | No, here it is. | 不 我做了 |
| [19:48] | Max, that’s so pretty. | 麦克斯 这真漂亮 |
| [19:50] | I’m so proud of you. | 我真为你骄傲 |
| [19:51] | Good work, God bless. Good for you. | 做得不错 上帝佑佑 有前途 |
| [19:53] | How long did it take you? | 你做了多久 |
| [19:55] | About three hours and 40 minutes. | 三个小时四十分吧 |
| [19:57] | But I did it! | 但我做到了 |
| [19:58] | I just wanted to prove to you and myself | 我只是想向你们和我自己证明 |
| [20:00] | I can make something pretty. | 我也能做出漂亮的东西 |
| [20:02] | And now that I have– | 既然我已经成功做到了 |
| [20:12] | That cupcake wasn’t me. I don’t do pretty. | 这小蛋糕不是我风格 老娘不屑玩漂亮 |
| [20:15] | But I did make each of you a cupcake that I think says | 但为了表达我对这个蛋糕课程的感想 |
| [20:18] | what I feel about this whole cupcake class. | 我为你俩一人做了一个蛋糕 |
| [20:21] | This one says “Bite me”. | 这个写着”关你屁事” |
| [20:25] | This one says “Screw U”. | 这个写着”滚你妈蛋” |
| [20:28] | You see that “U”? That’s a “U”. | 你看见那个”U”了吗 这就是个”U” |
| [20:30] | Holla! | 完胜 |
| [20:38] | Well, good luck with that. | 那祝你们好运啦 |
| [20:39] | People don’t want cupcakes that insult them. | 没人会买损人的蛋糕 |
| [20:43] | Oh, my God, Max. That’s our thing. | 天啊 麦克斯 这才是我们的长项 |
| [20:46] | I was wrong. You were right. | 我错了 你才是对的 |
| [20:47] | We don’t need to make pretty cupcakes. | 我们不必做漂亮的蛋糕 |
| [20:48] | Everybody does pretty. | 人人都会做漂亮的蛋糕 |
| [20:50] | We have to do what you do best. | 我们只需发挥你的专长 |
| [20:51] | Insult people. | 损人 |
| [20:54] | Yeah, who’s gonna buy that? | 是啊 谁会去买呀 |
| [20:56] | We will. For our shower. | 我们买 给告别单身派对增色 |
| [20:58] | And really let us bitches have it! | 专门为我们的贱人朋友准备 |