| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Here you go, Earl. | 给 厄尔 |
| [00:02] | Table 12 throwing down a credit card on a patty melt. | 十二桌的客人就点了个肉饼还要刷卡 |
| [00:05] | They really need those eight airline miles? | 他们是有多需要这八英里呀 |
| [00:08] | Where they going… New Jersey? | 难不成是想飞去新泽西吗 |
| [00:11] | Credit cards are the downfall of America. | 信用卡是美国没落的原因 |
| [00:14] | Well, credit cards and Kim Kardashian. | 应该说信用卡与金·卡戴珊 |
| [00:18] | I like her big ass as much as the next man, | 我跟普通男人一样 都喜欢她的大屁股 |
| [00:22] | but don’t go give the damn butt a franchise. | 但把屁股拿出来卖就不对了 |
| [00:27] | Max, I can take a lot. | 麦克斯 我自认承受力强 |
| [00:30] | Please keep your sex life to yourself. | 你的性能力自己知道就好 |
| [00:32] | I handled it when I lost my fortune, | 我身败名裂的时候 我挺住了 |
| [00:34] | and I handled it when I lost my fortune. | 我身败名裂的时候 我真的挺住了 |
| [00:37] | You said that twice. | 你说了两遍 |
| [00:38] | Because I think it bears repeating. | 因为我觉得这值得再三强调 |
| [00:40] | But this is too much. | 但是这个 我实在挺不住了 |
| [00:41] | That couple that just left…a $50 check, | 刚走的那对情侣消费了五十块 |
| [00:44] | a $1.47 tip. | 却只留下一块四毛七的小费 |
| [00:48] | 47 cents? | 四毛七呀 |
| [00:49] | Uh, I wasn’t even aware they were still making pennies. | 原来还有在铸造这么小面额的硬币啊 |
| [00:52] | I smiled and bent over backwards, giving them service… | 我笑脸迎人 卑躬屈膝 难道我的服务 |
| [00:56] | all for $1.47? | 就值一块四毛七吗 |
| [00:59] | This makes me the lowest-paid hooker in New York. | 我就这么成了纽约最廉价的妓女 |
| [01:03] | All right, give me that check. I’ll handle this. | 好啦 把账单给我 我来搞定 |
| [01:10] | Hey! | 喂 |
| [01:12] | Was something wrong with the service my girl over here gave you? | 我同事的服务有什么不周到的地方吗 |
| [01:15] | No. Tipping’s an option. | 没 给你多少小费是我的自由 |
| [01:17] | So is me spitting in your food. | 在你食物里吐口水也是我的自由 |
| [01:19] | You might want to remember that the next time | 下次你用硬币打发服务员的时候 |
| [01:21] | you leave a waitress pennies. | 麻烦记住这点 |
| [01:23] | I’m sorry. I didn’t know. | 抱歉 我并不知情 |
| [01:25] | This was our first and last date. | 这是我们初次 也会是最后一次约会 |
| [01:29] | Sorry, dude. | 抱歉 伙计 |
| [01:30] | Looks like this little tip | 这个故事告诉你 |
| [01:31] | just lost you the chance to give her your little tip. | 舍不得银子上不着妞呀 |
| [01:51] | Max, come in, sit down. | 麦克斯 进来坐下 |
| [01:53] | There’s something we have to talk about. | 有件事我们要好好谈谈 |
| [01:54] | This can’t be about my drinking. | 应该跟我的饮酒问题无关 |
| [01:55] | I don’t have the money to be a real alcoholic. | 我穷的买不起酒当酒鬼 |
| [01:58] | Can you sit in that chair, please? | 你能坐到那张椅子上吗 |
| [02:00] | I never sit in that chair. | 我从来不坐那张椅子 |
| [02:02] | Well, today we’re doing things differently… | 今天我们要与往常不同 |
| [02:04] | – breaking our patterns. – Hold up. | -要打破常规 -等等 |
| [02:05] | Did you join Scientology? | 你加入山达基教了吗 |
| [02:05] | 山达基教又名科学神教 饱受争议 常被媒体与前信徒描述为邪教 | |
| [02:08] | And I went to Starbucks and got you a coffee | 我还去星巴克给你买了杯咖啡 |
| [02:10] | and a vanilla bear claw. | 和一个香草味的熊爪面包 |
| [02:12] | A Bear Claw? Awesome! I’ll sit anywhere you want. | 熊爪面包 太棒了 你要我坐哪都行 |
| [02:16] | My life is not where I want it to be. | 现在的人生不是我想要的 |
| [02:18] | That $1.47 tip was a wake-up call reminding me | 那一块四毛七宛如警世钟 点醒我 |
| [02:21] | that life will always undervalue you | 人生会低估你的价值 |
| [02:23] | if you let it. | 如果你听之任之 |
| [02:25] | Yes, I’ve been knocked down, | 没错 我是被生活打击了 |
| [02:26] | but now it’s time to fight back and grab life by the balls. | 但现在是时候还击了 我要掌握人生 |
| [02:29] | I don’t know if life likes having its balls grabbed. | 我不知道生活是否喜欢被你”掌握蛋蛋”[直译] |
| [02:33] | Some guys do, but those are usually the ones | 有些男的喜欢 不过通常都是 |
| [02:35] | who want you to spoon them. | 也喜欢叫你抱抱他们的娘炮 |
| [02:38] | I’d like to explain my vision for our future by walking you through | 我想靠着这个来告诉你 我们未来的展望 |
| [02:43] | My vision board. | 梦想拼图板 |
| [02:44] | – Oh, no. – It’s a simple tool. | -不是吧 -这个工具很简单 |
| [02:46] | You’re a simple tool. | 你的头脑也很简单 |
| [02:49] | You start with a thin, white board… | 首先找一块白色的平板 |
| [02:50] | Your thin, white, and I’m bored. | 你又白又平 我快无聊死了 |
| [02:54] | Keep going. I can do this all day. | 继续啊 这种话我能扯一天呢 |
| [02:55] | I have a bear claw in me. | 我有熊爪撑腰 |
| [02:57] | I’ve been making vision boards for years, | 我从小就开始做梦想拼图板 |
| [02:59] | and I always achieve my goals. | 而且总能靠它实现自己的目标 |
| [03:01] | And you think it’s that crazy little board | 你认为真的是靠这个愚蠢的小白板 |
| [03:03] | and not your father’s billions? | 而不是你父亲的钞票吗 |
| [03:04] | Max, it works. | 麦克斯 它真的管用 |
| [03:06] | You put up pictures and inspirational words | 把人生中想要实现的目标和图片贴上面 |
| [03:08] | of things you want in your life. | 再加一些鼓舞人心的话 |
| [03:09] | See? I have success, a cupcake business, | 瞧 我写了”成功” “小蛋糕店” |
| [03:11] | and a picture of a beautiful new bed. | 而且还贴了张新床的美照 |
| [03:14] | Ah, the ones at the asylum look different than that, | 你进疯人病院后的床可不是长这样 |
| [03:16] | so don’t get attached. | 别太指望有这床 |
| [03:18] | Sleeping on that couch is holding me back. | 睡在那个破沙发 让我的人生毫无冲劲 |
| [03:20] | I never get a restful night’s sleep, | 我从来没睡过一天安稳觉 |
| [03:22] | and I need a good nine hours. | 我真需要好好睡上九小时 |
| [03:23] | What you need is a good nine inches. | 你需要的是好好睡”上”九英寸吧 |
| [03:29] | That should be on your vision board. | 这应该贴在你的梦想拼图板上 |
| [03:33] | It is… on the back. | 我贴了 在后面呢 |
| [03:37] | Nice. | 很好 |
| [03:38] | Now, unless you’re willing to switch the bedroom | 所以除非你愿意每隔一周 |
| [03:40] | every other week… | 跟我换床睡 |
| [03:41] | No, that sounds Mormon. | 不要 好像摩门教轮流睡 |
| [03:43] | Then I want to install a murphy bed in here. | 那我只好在这装一张折叠床了 |
| [03:46] | The bed folds up against the wall during the day, | 白天这床可以折起来靠在墙上 |
| [03:48] | so you’d still maintain your signature Williamsburg | 好让你保持你威廉斯堡风格的 |
| [03:51] | “I don’t care about anything chic or nice” decor. | “我不在乎任何时髦或美好事物”的装饰物 |
| [03:53] | Who’s going to build it? ‘Cause it’s not me. | 那谁来装啊 我肯定不干 |
| [03:55] | I’m already being taken advantage of | 我当保姆已经 |
| [03:57] | at my babysitting job. | 干很多不相干的活了 |
| [03:58] | Peach has me lugging things back and forth | 琵琪为了那对双胞胎的首次生日会 |
| [04:00] | to help with the twins’ first birthday party. | 让我帮她搬东西 |
| [04:02] | I’ve been sorting through clown resumes for a week. | 我都帮她徵选适合的小丑一周了 |
| [04:05] | Peach is throwing a birthday party? | 琵琪要举办生日会吗 |
| [04:07] | Did you ask her if we can cater the desserts? | 你有没有问甜点能否由我们来提供 |
| [04:09] | She hires fancy people with real companies. | 她请的是花俏有真实店面的人 |
| [04:12] | We’re not a real business. | 我们都还没开业 |
| [04:13] | See? This is what I’m talking about. | 瞧 这就是我所说的 |
| [04:15] | You mock the vision board, but look… | 你嘲笑梦想拼图板 但是瞧 |
| [04:17] | here it is, our cupcake shop. | 就在这儿呢 我们的蛋糕店 |
| [04:19] | I don’t think we can both fit in there. | 那屋小得都挤不进咱俩 |
| [04:22] | Max, you have to start imagining what our life can be. | 麦克斯 你得去畅想我们的未来 |
| [04:25] | You deserve a cupcake shop, and I deserve a new bed. | 你应该拥有一家蛋糕店 我应该拥有一张新床 |
| [04:28] | All you have to do is dream it. | 有梦最美 希望相随嘛 |
| [04:30] | No, all you have to do is do it. | 不 是心动不如马上行动 |
| [04:33] | And for you to build a Murphy bed, | 至于你要装一张折叠床 |
| [04:34] | it’ll take a miracle. | 则需要奇迹 |
| [04:36] | So unless you have Jesus or | 除非你的小版上有写英文或 |
| [04:38] | Jesus on that board… | 西语的”耶稣” |
| [04:41] | Not going to happen. | 否则你别痴心妄想了 |
| [04:45] | Who is it? | 谁呀 |
| [04:46] | It’s Jesus… | 耶稣 |
| [04:49] | From Williamsburg hardware. | 我是威廉斯堡家具公司的 |
| [04:53] | We got your do-it-yourself Murphy bed. | 送”自己动手丰衣足食”折叠床来 |
| [04:57] | See how I made that happen? | 瞧 梦就是这么圆的 |
| [04:58] | Vision. | 心想事成呀 |
| [04:59] | So which one of them has the nine inches? | 那哪个人的老二是九英寸 |
| [05:07] | Guess what I did today? | 猜猜我今天干了啥 |
| [05:09] | Jesus? | 干了耶稣吗 |
| [05:12] | What do you think? | 你觉得呢 |
| [05:12] | I think the bed still isn’t built. | 我觉得床还没装好 |
| [05:14] | No, but it’s almost finished. | 没错 但是也快完工了 |
| [05:16] | Look… | 瞧 |
| [05:18] | Notice anything different about me? | 发现我有什么不一样吗 |
| [05:19] | I have answer. | 我知道答案 |
| [05:20] | You had boob job. | 你隆胸了 |
| [05:23] | Your “B”s have turned into “C”s, | 你的罩杯由B升级到C了 |
| [05:25] | and for that, I give you an “A.” | 对此 我要给你一个A |
| [05:28] | No, I had my uniform altered. | 不 我把制服改了 |
| [05:30] | Yes, life dealt me a bad uniform, | 没错 人生扔给我一套不合身的制服 |
| [05:32] | but with a little vision, | 但是发挥一下想象力 |
| [05:33] | I can shape it the way it works best for me. | 我可以把它改到最能展现我身段的样子 |
| [05:36] | That should be a tip in your inspirational book, | 你要是写励志书 可以写上这个 |
| [05:37] | which I’m guessing is called | 温馨小贴士 |
| [05:38] | cutting pictures out of magazines | “从杂志上剪图片” |
| [05:40] | isn’t just for serial killers anymore. | “再不是连环杀手的专利” |
| [05:43] | And this is exciting… look. | 还有一件高兴的事 瞧 |
| [05:45] | The other really important thing I did today… | 今天我做的另一件重要的事 |
| [05:47] | made us business cards. | 就是给咱们印了名片 |
| [05:48] | Now you can give one to Peach | 现在你可以拿去给琵琪 |
| [05:49] | and throw our hat into the party ring. | 让她把咱们列入候选名单中 |
| [05:50] | You’re her babysitter. You already have a connection. | 你是她的保姆 还能走个后门 |
| [05:52] | Yeah, a connection to her babies’ asses. | 对啊 直通她宝宝的后门 |
| [05:56] | See? That’s your limited vision. | 瞧 这就是你不敢做梦 |
| [05:58] | Plus, Peach is interviewing this gay guy | 再说了 琵琪正在面试一个基佬 |
| [06:00] | who used to work for Martha Stewart. | 人家以前可是为玛莎·斯图尔特工作呢 |
| [06:01] | I mean, gay, Martha Stewart… we can’t top that. | 又基又认识玛莎·斯图尔特 怎么跟人比啊 |
| [06:04] | Just give her the cards. We have to start somewhere. | 就把卡片给她嘛 我们必须得开个头 |
| [06:07] | See? “Max’s homemade cupcakes.” | 瞧 “麦克斯自制蛋糕” |
| [06:09] | And look… “Max Black, owner/baker.” | 还有 “麦克斯·布莱克 店主兼糕点师” |
| [06:12] | “Owner/baker”? | “店主兼师傅” |
| [06:14] | That’s pretty cool. | 挺屌啊 |
| [06:16] | See? There it is. | 瞧 这就是 |
| [06:17] | It’s real. | 梦想照进现实 |
| [06:18] | But the name sucks a big one. | 但是这名字太恶心了 |
| [06:19] | “Homemade”… it sounds like homeschooled, | “自制” 听起来像在家自学 |
| [06:21] | like we’re churning out cupcakes | 我们像是在生产 |
| [06:22] | that aren’t comfortable around other people. | 孤僻不合群的蛋糕的店 |
| [06:27] | Or it sounds delicious. | 也听起来很美味啊 |
| [06:29] | And the cupcake on the card has a cherry on it. | 而且名片上的小蛋糕还有颗樱桃 |
| [06:32] | My cupcakes don’t have a cherry… | 我的”阴桃”早在我十三岁的时候 |
| [06:34] | haven’t since I was 13. | 就被人”破”掉了 |
| [06:45] | If you could really get under his shoulder blades… | 你要按到他的肩胛骨 |
| [06:48] | that’s where he carries all his stress. | 有助于舒缓他所有的压力 |
| [06:52] | Don’t say your real thoughts. | 把真话憋回去 |
| [06:54] | Don’t say your real thoughts. | 把真话憋回去 |
| [06:55] | Max, we’re using our spa voice today. | 麦克斯 今天要用水疗馆的声音说话 |
| [06:59] | Use my spa voice? Okay. | 我去水疗馆的声音 好吧 |
| [07:01] | I can’t afford this. | “我付不起水疗啊” |
| [07:04] | I want you to make sure the twins | 我要你确保他们俩 |
| [07:06] | drink lots of water after, | 在按摩之后喝大量的水 |
| [07:08] | you know, to flush out the toxins. | 因为要排出体内的毒素 |
| [07:09] | Toxins? | 毒素 |
| [07:11] | All they drink is breast milk. | 他们平时就喝人奶 |
| [07:12] | I can’t be sure what the woman I buy that from | 我又不确定我雇的那个奶妈 |
| [07:14] | puts in her body. | 吃的都是无毒产品 |
| [07:16] | We’re all so tense about the birthday party. | 我们超级紧张这场生日会 |
| [07:19] | If everything isn’t perfect, | 如果一切不够完美 |
| [07:20] | how will they live with the shame? | 他们这辈子就要在羞耻中度过了 |
| [07:24] | Um, Peach, um… | 琵琪 |
| [07:26] | Speaking of the… the party, | 说到生日会 |
| [07:28] | uh, I-I started this, um, thing, | 我创这家… 店 |
| [07:32] | and it’s probably dumb, but… | 可能有些不自量力 但是 |
| [07:34] | I don’t need it. Like, I’m fine. | 其实不必 我无所谓 |
| [07:35] | I don’t need it. It’s just more like… | 真的大可不必 这更像… |
| [07:37] | like a… like a… Favor. | 更像…帮个忙 |
| [07:39] | Um, but, uh, the thing is, there’s the cards, | 事情是这样的 这是我的名片 |
| [07:41] | so I was thinking may… “maybly”… | 我想或…”或能” |
| [07:43] | “maybly”? What’s that? It’s not a word, right? | “或能” 什么啊 连个词儿都不是 对吧 |
| [07:45] | – I was not saying a word. – I’m sorry. | -我连话都不会说了 -抱歉 |
| [07:47] | I’m done with whatever this is that you’re doing. | 无论你现在在说什么 我都不想听了 |
| [07:51] | I have to go meet the Martha Stewart queen | 我约了玛莎·斯图尔特的御用同志 |
| [07:52] | and hear his party pitch. | 听听他的生日会提议 |
| [07:54] | Just remember, | 记住 |
| [07:55] | at 3:00, the twins have their spray tans. | 双胞胎下午三点要做美黑 |
| [08:01] | Well, that’s exactly how I envisioned that. | 跟我预想的一模一样 |
| [08:08] | Let me see what you’re drawing, Johnny. | 强尼 让我看看你在画什么 |
| [08:10] | A rat with a civil war hat. | 一只戴着内战帽子的老鼠 |
| [08:12] | Is that your comment on how politicians view soldiers? | 你这是在嘲讽政客是如何看待士兵的吗 |
| [08:15] | No, it’s an actual rat I saw wearing a hat. | 不 我真的看见一只戴着帽子的老鼠 |
| [08:20] | See, when you tend bar till 4:00 a.m., | 在酒吧忙活到凌晨四点 |
| [08:22] | you see a lot of weird stuff. | 你会看见很多诡异的事情 |
| [08:23] | And when you waitress till 2:00, | 当你在餐厅忙活到凌晨两点 |
| [08:25] | you see a loser drawing a rat on a napkin. | 你会看见一个窝囊废在餐巾上画老鼠 |
| [08:29] | Now sign it, please. | 签个名吧 |
| [08:30] | You realize my art won’t be worth anything till I’m dead? | 你知道我的作品在我死之前都会一文不值吧 |
| [08:33] | Why do you think I keep inviting you here to eat week after week? | 不然我老请你来吃饭是为了什么呢 |
| [08:41] | Question… | 提问 |
| [08:41] | how does it feel to be the owner | 作为餐巾画作的拥有者 |
| [08:43] | of an original piece of napkin art worth roughly… | 该如何看待画作比餐巾本身 |
| [08:45] | Less than the worth of the napkin? | 还不值钱这件事 |
| [08:58] | Well, I got to get back to work. | 我得回去干活了 |
| [08:59] | All right, bye. | 好的 再见 |
| [09:03] | Pick up… table ten. | 上菜 十号桌 |
| [09:05] | I watch you over there. | 你的所作所为我都看见了 |
| [09:07] | Much sexual tension with deadbeat bartender. | 跟游手好闲的酒保偷来暗去 |
| [09:10] | He’s not just a bartender. He’s a street artist. | 他不光是个酒吧 他是街头艺术家 |
| [09:13] | And all I did was bite a piece of celery. | 而且我不过是咬了一口他的芹菜 |
| [09:15] | When I think of all the times I asked you to bite my celery… | 我求你咬我那根”芹菜”多久了啊 |
| [09:21] | And nothing. | 你倒是咬呀 |
| [09:26] | Okay, my side work’s done, and my tables are all caught up. | 好了 我的工作干完了 客人也都结账了 |
| [09:28] | So, tell me, did you give Peach the card? | 快告诉我 你把名片给了琵琪吗 |
| [09:30] | – No, I didn’t. – Why? | -没 我没给 -为什么 |
| [09:32] | It was like my mouth wouldn’t let me do it. | 我的嘴巴不让我这么做 |
| [09:34] | That’s crazy. | 这太扯了吧 |
| [09:35] | What’s so hard about going up to Peach | 跟琵琪开口提这事是有多难 |
| [09:36] | and saying, “good afternoon, Peach.” | 就直接说”下午好 琵琪 |
| [09:38] | “Exciting news… I started a cupcake business.” | 好消息 我开了家小蛋糕店 |
| [09:40] | “Here’s our card.” | 这是我们的名片 |
| [09:41] | “Please pass them out to all your friends, | 劳烦跟你所有的朋友宣传宣传 |
| [09:42] | and help us launch our exciting new business venture.” | 新店开张 就当帮我们站稳脚跟吧 |
| [09:44] | “Thank you.” | 谢谢” |
| [09:44] | That sounds needy, | 听起来好”求人关注” |
| [09:46] | like when someone asks you to come to their one-woman show. | 就像被邀请去听别人的自我剖析 |
| [09:50] | “Somebody date-raped me, | “我被人迷奸了 |
| [09:51] | and I didn’t think I’d live through it, | 我还以为我过不去这关 |
| [09:52] | but I did, and now I’m stronger, | 但我成功度过 内心也变得更强大了” |
| [09:53] | and, uh, still needy.” | 求人关注的心也没变 |
| [09:56] | There is nothing needy about having a quality product | 只是把优质的产品推荐给更多的人 |
| [09:59] | and wanting it out there. | 跟死皮赖脸没关系 |
| [10:00] | Look at Earl… he has a CD on display. | 你看厄尔 他也在卖自己的CD啊 |
| [10:02] | Yeah, but he’s cool about it. | 是啊 但人家是姜太公钓鱼 |
| [10:04] | He doesn’t get all late-night infomercial | 不像那种深夜电视推销节目 |
| [10:05] | and shove them down people’s throats. | 死命推销逼人购买 |
| [10:08] | Earl? | 厄尔 |
| [10:09] | How many CDs have you sold at the diner? | 你在这家餐厅卖出了多少张CD |
| [10:12] | Well, in this current economy… | 现在世道不好… |
| [10:15] | It’s been pretty light. | 销量微薄啊 |
| [10:18] | – May I? – Mm-hmm. | -让我试试 -请便 |
| [10:21] | Hi. | 你们好呀 |
| [10:22] | You guys look like music lovers. | 一看你们就是热爱音乐的人 |
| [10:25] | This is the best saxophone CD you will ever hear… | 这将会是你们听过最好听的萨克斯专辑哦 |
| [10:28] | recorded by our cashier Earl Samson. | 由我们的收银员卡尔·萨姆森倾情奉献 |
| [10:30] | He’s played with all the greats… | 他跟很多名人合作过呢 |
| [10:31] | Coltrane, Hancock, even Bacharach. | 考尔特兰尼 汉考 巴克拉克 |
| [10:31] | 约翰·考尔特兰尼 著名爵士乐萨克斯管演奏家 赫比·汉考 爵士钢琴与键盘大师 波特·巴克拉克 美国乐坛著名作曲家 | |
| [10:33] | His music career derailed due to a heroin addiction, | 虽然他因沉迷吸毒而断送了自己的事业 |
| [10:36] | but now he’s clean and sober | 但他现在已经洗心革面 |
| [10:38] | and, at 83, still following his dream. | 八十三的高龄 依旧努力追求自己的梦想 |
| [10:42] | Only $9.95 a copy. Who’d like one? | 一张只要九块九毛五 谁想来一张 |
| [10:46] | Thank you! | 谢谢你们 |
| [10:48] | Earl, four CDs. | 厄尔 四张CD |
| [10:51] | Is any of that true? | 她说的话有真的吗 |
| [10:52] | Nope. She even made up my damn last name. | 没 她连我的姓都是瞎掰的 |
| [10:57] | That girl can sell. | 这妞是天生的推销员呀 |
| [11:03] | Oh! Max… | 麦克斯 |
| [11:04] | Will you come look at Brangelina? | 能过来看一眼布莱洁莉娜吗 |
| [11:07] | I think the spray-tan lady went a little too far. | 我觉得那个美黑师有点过头了 |
| [11:09] | I wanted them to look tan, not foreign. | 我想让他们看起来阳光点 而不是像外籍劳工 |
| [11:13] | They look fine. | 看上去还好呀 |
| [11:14] | A little Lebanese, | 就有点像黎巴嫩人 |
| [11:15] | but that’ll clear up in a day or two. | 但过个一两天就能恢复”本色”了吧 |
| [11:18] | I’m having the worst day. | 今天真是太糟糕了 |
| [11:20] | Jessica Seinfeld stole the Martha Stewart boy. | 宋飞的老婆把玛莎的御用同志给挖走了 |
| [11:24] | I am so upset with her. | 我对她太失望了 |
| [11:25] | I thought we were pretending to be friends. | 假装当姐妹的情谊都不顾了 |
| [11:27] | And now I have no one to do the desserts. | 现在甜点也没人给我做了 |
| [11:35] | Hello, Peach, exciting news… | 你好 琵琪 好消息 |
| [11:37] | I have a cupcake business. They’re really good. | 我有个小蛋糕店 它们超美味 |
| [11:40] | Give these to your friends and help launch | 劳烦把名片给你的朋友们 帮我新店 |
| [11:41] | a new business or whatever. | 站稳脚跟 或随便怎么着吧 |
| [11:43] | That’s it. I did it. Boom! | 说完了 我做到了 收工 |
| [11:48] | Okay, the bed still isn’t built. | 好吧 床还没装 |
| [11:50] | But the mattress came, and it’s so good. | 但今天把床垫送来了 超级舒服哟 |
| [11:53] | Oh, no… this is not okay. | 不行 这样不行 |
| [11:55] | We’re not keeping a mattress on the floor. | 我们不能把床垫放在地板上 |
| [11:57] | We’re poor, not crackheads. | 咱们虽穷 可是瘾君子家才这么随便 |
| [12:01] | And you tricked me. | 你居然骗我 |
| [12:02] | I did my part, so you better get this bed done. | 我名片都给人了 你赶快把你该装的床装上 |
| [12:04] | Max, you gave Peach the cards. | 麦克斯 你把卡片给琵琪了 |
| [12:06] | I’m so proud of you. What did she say? | 我真为你感到骄傲 她说什么了 |
| [12:08] | No. Shut it. Do it. | 别吵 闭嘴 干活 |
| [12:11] | Relax. The bed will be assembled | 放轻松嘛 这床在今天之前 |
| [12:12] | and hidden in the wall by the end of the day, | 肯定会组装完毕 然后收到墙上 |
| [12:14] | ’cause I decided to do what cute girls | 因为我决定采用女人 |
| [12:16] | have been doing for centuries. | 从古到今的惯用伎俩 |
| [12:17] | I asked a guy for help. | 找个男人来帮忙 |
| [12:19] | You called a guy? | 你找了个男人 |
| [12:20] | Oh, is he going to climb up your long blonde hair | 他是要顺着你长长的金发 |
| [12:23] | and rescue you from your murphy-bed tower? | 爬进你的折叠床城堡中拯救你吗 |
| [12:26] | Wait. You don’t know any guys. | 慢着 你不认识任何男人 |
| [12:28] | Who did you invite? | 你把谁叫过来了 |
| [12:29] | – Johnny. – No. No, no, no, no. | -强尼 -不 不 不 |
| [12:31] | Eh, I don’t want to see Johnny. | 我不想看见他 |
| [12:33] | I had a weird thing with him at the diner last night. | 我昨晚我跟他在餐馆擦出了尴尬的小火花 |
| [12:36] | I thought you guys were friends. | 我以为你俩是朋友呢 |
| [12:37] | I don’t know what we are. | 我不知道我俩算什么 |
| [12:39] | He was fake interviewing me with a celery stalk… | 他拿根芹菜假装采访我 |
| [12:41] | ‘Cause you’re both grown-ups. | “成年人”嘛 无可厚非 |
| [12:44] | And when he put it near my mouth, | 当他把它放到我嘴边时 |
| [12:45] | I thought he wanted me to bite it, so I… | 我以为他要我咬一口呢 所以我… |
| [12:47] | – You bit it? – I bit it! | -你咬了 -我咬了 |
| [12:49] | That is weird and humiliating and hot. | 这真是又雷人又丢人又撩人 |
| [12:52] | Yes, yes, and, yes. Call him right now! | 对对 全中 所以快给他打电话 |
| [12:54] | He can’t come over here. Look around! | 他不能过来 你看看四周 |
| [12:55] | I have his napkins hanging up everywhere. | 我把他的餐巾挂满整个屋子 |
| [12:57] | He’ll think I’m Dexter. | 他会以为我是嗜血法医 |
| [13:02] | Don’t answer that. | 别接 |
| [13:04] | – Don’t you… – Come on in, Johnny. | -你敢 -进来吧 强尼 |
| [13:06] | Yes, I did it. I need a bed. | 是的 我敢 我需要一张床 |
| [13:08] | You are so selfish! | 你太自私了 |
| [13:09] | Yes, I’m selfish, and you’re Dexter. | 对 我是自私鬼 也好过你个杀人狂 |
| [13:10] | So, quick… help me take down the napkins. | 所以还是快动手帮我把餐巾都摘掉吧 |
| [13:13] | Oh, god, there are so many! | 天啊 怎么这么多 |
| [13:14] | How come I never noticed how many there were before? | 我之前怎么完全没有意识到 |
| [13:17] | I don’t know. Same reason you didn’t notice | 不知道 大概跟你没意识到 |
| [13:18] | your father stealing everybody’s money. | 你爸偷全世界的钱一个道理吧 |
| [13:21] | Really? Really? Now when I’m helping you? | 你真要这样吗 我现在可是在帮你哟 |
| [13:23] | You’re right. We’ll trash you later. | 你赢了 那晚点再损你好了 |
| [13:25] | Why don’t you just ask him what the celery moment meant? | 为什么你不直接问他 那一口芹菜意味着什么 |
| [13:28] | I don’t want to ask him. | 我不想问 |
| [13:29] | You don’t want to ask anybody anything. | 你从来不想问任何人任何事 |
| [13:31] | It’s not like the business cards. | 这又不像名片 |
| [13:32] | What am I going to say? | 我要怎么开口 |
| [13:33] | “Good afternoon, Johnny.” | “下午好 强尼 |
| [13:34] | “Exciting news… I have started | 好消息 我开了一家 |
| [13:36] | an oddly sexual celery-biting business.” | 尴尬情欲咬芹菜店” |
| [13:41] | Be right there, Johnny! | 马上就来 强尼 |
| [13:47] | Yo. | 好呀 |
| [13:53] | So I brought tools… per your request… | 根据你的请求 我把工具带来了 |
| [13:55] | and beer, I made an executive decision on. | 根据自我需求 我还带了啤酒 |
| [13:59] | So that’s what you do with my art. | 原来你这么欣赏我的画作呀 |
| [14:02] | Just one, and I put it up there. | 就一张 是我把它放上去的 |
| [14:04] | She doesn’t even like it… she’s like, | 她一点都不喜欢 还老说 |
| [14:05] | “why would anyone hang up stupid napkin art?” | “怎么会有人把白痴餐巾画给挂起来呀” |
| [14:09] | Right off my back. | 完全不在意 |
| [14:10] | Had a couple of these on the subway. | 坐地铁时小喝了几罐 |
| [14:13] | So here’s the wood. | 床板在这里 |
| [14:15] | You can’t help her… | 你不能帮她 |
| [14:16] | she needs to learn a lesson about doing things for herself. | 自己的事情自己做 |
| [14:19] | She thinks we’re her daddy, and we’ll go back on our word, | 她以为我们跟她爹一样 会心软反悔 |
| [14:21] | and she’ll get a pony. | 一切就能马到功成 |
| [14:26] | Well, you can see why she’d think that. | 她的确”马”到擒来了 |
| [14:28] | I’m going to see if the horse wants a beer. | 我要去看看小马想喝啤酒吗 |
| [14:30] | Hmm, maybe put my glasses on him… | 没准我帮它带上眼镜后 |
| [14:33] | get crazy up in this piece! | 它会跟我一样又晕又嗨呢 |
| [14:37] | When you’re out there, ask him what the celery meant. | 等你俩在外面时 问他那一口芹菜的意义 |
| [14:39] | Get busy, princess. Daddy’s got company. | 快动手吧 小公主 爸比有客人要”招呼” |
| [14:45] | Well, little lady, I reckon a cowboy’d get used to | 小姑娘 一个铁汉牛仔 |
| [14:48] | a pretty sweet setup like this. | 都会安定下来啊 |
| [14:50] | It’s a hard life out on the trails. | 这年头讨生活不容易啊 |
| [14:52] | Yeah, it’s hard for my people, too, | 是呀 我们印第安人就容易吗 |
| [14:54] | since you stole all our land | 自从你偷了我们所有的土地 |
| [14:55] | and gave us blankets covered in smallpox. | 还给我们送来满是天花的毛毯 |
| [14:58] | I do declare, | 郑重声明 |
| [14:59] | I’m sorry for the disease blankets. | 我对给你们带来疾病的毛毯深感抱歉 |
| [15:01] | But they did keep you warm, I bet, | 但它们的确给你们送来温暖 |
| [15:03] | until they killed you, that is. | 直至你们病死那天 |
| [15:05] | “I do declare” is not cowboy. | “郑重声明”不像牛仔会说的 |
| [15:07] | That’s Southern Belle. | 那是南方仕女的口吻 |
| [15:08] | I think you’re looking for “darn tootin'” | 我猜你是想说”太他妈对了” |
| [15:10] | or “dag nab it.” | 或是”靠” |
| [15:11] | Cowboys did not say “dag nab it.” | 牛仔从来不说”靠” |
| [15:13] | Yeah, they did. | 不 他们会说 |
| [15:14] | “Someone done gone stole my horse, dag nab it.” | “有人偷走了我的马 靠” |
| [15:17] | I think you’re thinking “doggone it.” | 我觉得你是想说”该死的” |
| [15:19] | No, “dag nab it”… cowboy. | 不 牛仔是说”靠” |
| [15:21] | Do you really think you know cowboy better than me? | 你觉得你比我还了解牛仔吗 |
| [15:23] | Which one of us has a horse? | 是谁有马呀 |
| [15:25] | Which one of us has assless chaps? | 是谁有”无”臀皮裤呀 |
| [15:30] | Should I go inside and help Caroline? | 我该进去帮帮卡洛琳吗 |
| [15:32] | No. I’m sure she’s doing just fine. | 不必 我肯定她一个人能行 |
| [15:37] | Can I ask you something? | 我能问你个问题吗 |
| [15:39] | Sure. | 当然 |
| [15:41] | When you put the sss… | 当你把那… |
| [15:44] | we should get on the horse! | 我们上马吧 |
| [15:47] | – Okay. – Yeah! | -好的 -好耶 |
| [15:50] | Use three-inch lag screw | 用三英寸方头螺钉 |
| [15:53] | to secure ledger board to wall studs | 把托梁横板固定到墙柱上 |
| [15:57] | “aboot” every 12 inches. | “达”约每十二英寸钉一个 |
| [15:59] | Ooh! Your Canadian voice is so dull, | 唉 你的加拿大腔真让人想睡 |
| [16:01] | I can’t understand a word you’re saying. | 害我一句都没听懂 |
| [16:05] | There’s got to be a video with a better voice. | 肯定有声音语调更好的视频 |
| [16:07] | “How to build a Murphy bed… Morgan Freeman.” | “怎样装折叠床 摩根·弗里曼” |
| [16:14] | Interesting bit of information about horses… | 发现了一个关于马的有趣事情 |
| [16:17] | they hurt your balls. | 它们会让你蛋疼 |
| [16:19] | Yeah, mine hurt, too. | 对 我的也疼 |
| [16:20] | You would think after all these years of riding a horse, | 还以为男人骑了几百年的马 |
| [16:23] | man would have evolved to have his balls on top | 他们的蛋蛋会从下面 |
| [16:25] | instead of underneath. | 进化到上面来呢 |
| [16:26] | Life would be so much easier. | 好让骑马从此没压力 |
| [16:28] | Well, yeah, but I don’t see a lot of old-timey ladies | 但是感觉旧时的女人们 |
| [16:30] | wanting to get with the top balls. | 不会想跟高蛋人士”交往”吧 |
| [16:37] | Are you thinking about the celery? | 你在想那根芹菜吗 |
| [16:39] | No, I’m still thinking about my balls. | 不 我还在想我的两颗蛋 |
| [16:44] | Now I’m thinking about the celery. | 现在我开始想那根芹菜了 |
| [16:48] | That was weird, right? | 当时真尴尬 对吧 |
| [16:50] | Not weird, really… more, um, intense. | 不是尴尬 应该说是 很浓烈 |
| [16:55] | Intense good or intense bad? | 好的浓烈还是坏的浓烈 |
| [16:58] | Intense intense. | 很浓烈的浓烈 |
| [17:02] | Whoo. | 哇 |
| [17:02] | Whoa. Oh. Did I just grab your… | 哎呀 我刚是不是抓了你的… |
| [17:05] | Yeah, I don’t know. “Maybly.” | 不知道 “或能”吧 |
| [17:07] | “Maybly”! That’s not a word, right? | “或能” 什么跟什么啊 对吧 |
| [17:09] | – We should… – I got to get down. | -我们… -我得下马了 |
| [17:12] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [17:13] | My balls. | 蛋疼 |
| [17:16] | So take your makeup brush, take your mirror, | 拿出你的化妆刷和镜子 |
| [17:19] | and you want to comb your eyebrows upwards. | 把你的眉毛往上刷 |
| [17:23] | What are you doing? | 你在干嘛 |
| [17:25] | Okay, okay. | 好吧 好吧 |
| [17:26] | I thought I typed in “Morgan Freeman.” | 我以为我输入的是”摩根·弗里曼” |
| [17:28] | But I’m so tired, what came up was “more gay men”” | 但是我太累了 打成”磨根·基佬曼” |
| [17:34] | but this Damon guy is a genius. | 但这人真的很厉害 |
| [17:37] | If he had a video on how to build a Murphy bed, | 如果他有出关于如何安装折叠床的视频 |
| [17:39] | it’d already be done. | 我铁定早把床装好了 |
| [17:40] | Wait. Where’s Johnny? | 等等 强尼呢 |
| [17:42] | What happened? Did you ask him? | 发生什么事了 你问他了吗 |
| [17:44] | No, he left. | 没 他走了 |
| [17:45] | Out the back? | 后院直接走了啊 |
| [17:47] | Yeah, it got even weirder. | 对 事情发展得更尴尬了 |
| [17:49] | He grabbed my boob. | 他抓了我的胸 |
| [17:50] | Or… he didn’t grab my… | 应该说 他没有抓我的… |
| [17:52] | he grabbed my boob. | 他的确有抓到我的胸 |
| [17:53] | I just don’t know whether it was on purpose. | 我也不知道他是不是有意的 |
| [17:55] | But I asked, like you told me to, | 我照你教我那样问了他 |
| [17:56] | and now I have a weird boob moment | 结果现在多了个尴尬的胸部一手抓 |
| [17:58] | to go with my weird celery moment. | 配我那个芹菜一口咬 |
| [18:01] | That is very complicated. | 情况的确很复杂 |
| [18:03] | But I’m great with relationship stuff. | 不过我对感情方面很有一套 |
| [18:05] | So come on over here, and we’ll hammer it all out | 所以快过来 一起把床给解决了 |
| [18:07] | while we hammer this all out. | 然后再一起把你的问题也解决掉 |
| [18:10] | Come on, this is where you break down | 拜托 现在该是你理智线断了 |
| [18:12] | and finally help me build the bed. | 终于愿意帮我把床装好的最佳时机 |
| [18:14] | No, this is where I go to my already-built bed. | 错 现在是我去我已装好的床上躺着的时机 |
| [18:16] | And after Peaches today and… | 在琵琪家的事以及 |
| [18:19] | whatever that was out there with my boob, | 刚才我胸的那件破事之后 |
| [18:21] | I’m not showing anyone my cards anymore… | 在外给人名片 私下吐露心声 |
| [18:24] | business or personal. | 这两样我再也不干了 |
| [18:31] | Go in! | 进去 |
| [18:33] | Go in! Oh! | 进去呀 |
| [18:42] | What is happening out here? | 你在外面搞什么啊 |
| [18:43] | That’s the kind of pounding that’s supposed to happen | 这撞击声应该是等你到了床上 |
| [18:45] | after you’re in the bed. | “活动”时才发出来的 |
| [18:49] | I can’t do it. | 我做不到 |
| [18:50] | I tried. I really did, but I can’t. | 我努力过 尽全力了 还是做不到 |
| [18:53] | I guess I can’t do anything without my father’s money. | 果然没了我爸的钱 我只是个废物 |
| [18:56] | You were right. | 你说得对 |
| [18:57] | Trying is embarrassing. | 尝试只会自讨没趣 |
| [18:59] | So I’m not going to try anymore. | 所以我还是死了这条心算了 |
| [19:01] | I’m sick of it. | 我受够了 |
| [19:02] | I’m going to sleep on that horrible couch | 我的余生就睡在这张可怕的沙发上 |
| [19:04] | and get bad tips and cry | 就拿着卑微的小费 含着泪 |
| [19:06] | every waitress day for the rest of my life. | 度过我当服务员的每一天 |
| [19:11] | Daddy, please. | 老爸 求你了 |
| [19:14] | God, you’re a baby. | 天啊 你真是小孩子 |
| [19:16] | Okay, I’ll help you… this one time only. | 好吧 我来帮你 但是下不为例 |
| [19:18] | And we’re not going to bond when we do it. | 干活时别妄想能成为生死之交 |
| [19:20] | We’re not going to high-five when we finish. | 完工后也别想跟我击掌欢呼 |
| [19:21] | And I don’t want to hear two months from now, | 也不想以后还得听到你说 |
| [19:23] | “hey, remember that night we built the Murphy bed? | “还记得我们装折叠床的那晚吗 |
| [19:25] | That was awesome.” None of that. Got it? | 真是美妙的一夜” 通通不行 知道吗 |
| [19:27] | We need the power drill, | 我们得用到电钻 |
| [19:28] | 1/4-inch bit, some masonry screws, | 四分之一英寸钻头 带槽螺钉 |
| [19:30] | and a bear claw. | 还有熊爪面包 |
| [19:32] | Now delete “eyebrows,” | 删掉关键词”眉毛” |
| [19:34] | type in “Murphy bed,” and let’s build this mother. | 输入”折叠床” 然后开工解决这小混蛋 |
| [19:41] | I can’t believe we did it. | 真不敢相信终于完工了 |
| [19:42] | Yeah, it looks pretty good. | 是啊 看起来挺好 |
| [19:46] | Oh, Max. | 麦克斯 |
| [19:47] | You put the bakery up on your vision | 你把蛋糕店放在你的梦想拼图… |
| [19:49] | beam. | 柱上了 |
| [19:51] | Say anything more, and I’ll take it down. | 再多说一句 我就拿下来 |
| [19:56] | – Do you know this number? – That’s Peach. | -你认识这号码吗 -是琵琪 |
| [19:58] | – Why would she call you? – It’s about the cupcake business… | -她为什么会打给你 -肯定是蛋糕店的事 |
| [20:00] | my number’s on the card. | 那名片上留了我电话 |
| [20:04] | Put it on speaker. | 开免提 |
| [20:06] | Hello? | 你好 |
| [20:06] | I found your card in my baby’s room. | 我在婴儿房发现了你的名片 |
| [20:09] | I have no idea who you are or how it got there, | 我不知道你是谁 也不知道卡哪来的 |
| [20:11] | but I’m throwing a birthday party in a week, | 但我下周准备开一个生日会 |
| [20:13] | and I thought cupcakes might be fun. | 我觉得小蛋糕应该挺有意思 |
| [20:15] | Oh, they are. | 是啊 |
| [20:16] | People love cupcakes. | 大家都爱小蛋糕 |
| [20:18] | They bring a sense of whimsy and nostalgia. | 它们能勾起大家的各种情怀 |
| [20:20] | That’s enough. | 够了 |
| [20:21] | Why don’t you tell me | 你不如直接告诉我 |
| [20:22] | some of the other events you’ve done? | 你们承办过什么活动 |
| [20:24] | Oh, well, we’re a start-up company. | 我们的店才刚起步 |
| [20:26] | Oh, no, I need a real business. | 不行 我要的是真正的店 |
| [20:29] | Bye-bye. | 再见 |
| [20:31] | Well, there you go… | 这下你满意了吧 |
| [20:33] | complete waste of our time. | 完全是浪费时间 |
| [20:34] | See? Trying is embarrassing. | 瞧 尝试的后果就是自讨没趣 |
| [20:36] | No. That was great, incredible. | 不 这很好啊 简直太棒了 |
| [20:39] | What? She hung up on you. | 什么 她都挂你电话了 |
| [20:42] | Yes. But it proves one thing. | 是 但这也证明了一件事 |
| [20:44] | The cards… they worked! | 这些名片 果然有用 |
| [20:46] | This is so inspiring. | 这太激动人心了 |
| [20:47] | First we build a Murphy bed, next a cupcake business, | 我们成功装上折叠床 接着还有生意上门 |
| [20:50] | then, Max… | 马克斯 |
| [20:52] | Who knows what else? | 谁知道接下来会有什么好事呢 |
| [20:59] | Uh, adjust the springs? | 帮我调一下弹簧嘛 |
| [21:01] | No, that’s perfect. | 不要 这样挺好 |