| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | If there were a hypothetical compost vessel | 假设有一个堆肥容器 |
| [00:09] | for — hypothetically — our doodie, | 可以装我们假设的便便 |
| [00:14] | would you hypothetically be into that? | 你会考虑吗 |
| [00:15] | Sure! I been crashing on friends’ couches for a month, | 当然 我在朋友家沙发上已经住了一个月了 |
| [00:18] | so I can literally move in to-morr-ow, all right? | 所以我明天就能搬进去 好吗 |
| [00:21] | Let me ask you this. | 我再问你个问题 |
| [00:22] | When I take a shower, will you keep me company? | 我洗澡的时候 你会陪我吗 |
| [00:24] | Not — Not in the shower, | 不是指陪我洗 |
| [00:26] | just, like, sit on the toilet and talk to me? | 就是坐在马桶上陪我聊天 |
| [00:28] | Okay. | 可以 |
| [00:29] | – Okay, I just have one final question. – Mm-hmm. | -好 还有最后一个问题 -嗯 |
| [00:33] | What is your stance on the Olsen twins? | 你对奥尔森姐妹是什么看法 |
| [00:36] | Oh, my God, girl, the Olsen twins. | 我的天 奥尔森姐妹 |
| [00:39] | It drives me nuts, you understand? | 要把我逼疯了 懂吗 |
| [00:41] | – Part of it is like I feel sorry for them. – Yes. | -一部分的我同情她们 -是的 |
| [00:43] | But they also billionaires, so I hate them. | 但她们又是亿万富翁 所以我恨她们 |
| [00:45] | Yes! | 是的 |
| [00:46] | But, I mean, did they ask for this? | 但是这是她们要求的吗 |
| [00:47] | No, they did not. Okay? | 不 她们没有要求 |
| [00:49] | Why would you have Uncle Jesse | 为什么要让杰西叔叔 |
| [00:51] | picking them up, kissing them to get women? | 通过接她们 亲她们来撩女人 |
| [00:54] | What woman sees that as a turn-on? | 什么女人会对这有性致 |
| [00:56] | What kind of move is this? | 这算什么套路 |
| [00:57] | Child, that whole set is about to be Bill Cosby. | 那伙人都要成比尔·科斯比[性侵] |
| [01:00] | – You hear me? – Bizarre. | -懂吗 -太奇怪了 |
| [01:01] | Okay? MeToo moments every damn where. | 懂吗 到处都是MeToo[反性骚扰运动] |
| [01:04] | – That’s it. I mean, give it to me. – For real. | -没错 大力操我 -真的 |
| [01:06] | – Lay it down. – Hello? | -让她爽 -是啊 |
| [01:07] | I mean, we vibing, right? | 我们很合拍 对吗 |
| [01:08] | – Child. – Ye-e-es! | -还用说 -是哒是哒 |
| [01:10] | – Beezy! – All ri-I-ight! | -贱人 -好啊 |
| [01:12] | Ah, yes! | 棒 |
| [01:14] | Now, just tell me, what room do I take, okay? | 告诉我 我该住哪个房间 |
| [01:16] | Well, you have officially secured yourself a backup offer. | 你成功地锁定了后备要约 |
| [01:20] | Backup? | 后备 |
| [01:21] | It’s just that I have one more | 我还要面试一个 |
| [01:22] | brown-eyed, goy-nosed, fat-assed, | 棕色眼睛 非犹太人鼻子 肥臀 |
| [01:25] | beautiful candidate left to explore. | 漂亮的候选人 |
| [01:27] | Well, girl, you’ve literally just described me. | 这说的不就是我吗 |
| [01:30] | Well, it looks like I have a type. | 看来我有喜欢的型 |
| [01:32] | I will get back to you in 24 hours. | 我会在24小时内给你答复 |
| [01:34] | Can you make it 23? | 23小时行吗 |
| [01:35] | ‘Cause I really love this place. | 我真的很喜欢这里 |
| [01:37] | That’s never happened before. | 以前从没有过 |
| [01:47] | I’m scared. | 我好害怕 |
| [01:48] | I don’t know how to say it | 我不知道该怎么说 |
| [01:49] | or when or where or how exactly. | 不知道何时何地以及怎么开口 |
| [01:54] | You haven’t told Ilana you’re moving to Colorado yet?! | 你还没跟阿拉娜说你要搬去科罗拉多州吗 |
| [01:56] | I do not envy you. | 我不羡慕你 |
| [01:58] | When we told her we were getting rid of her car, | 我们跟她说要卖掉她的车时 |
| [02:00] | – we took her to see Savion Glover tap-dance… – King of tap. | -我们带她去看萨维恩·格洛弗踢踏舞 -踢踏舞之王 |
| [02:03] | …and we even snuck in a backpack of sour cherry straws… | 我们甚至偷带进去了一包酸草莓冰果子露 |
| [02:06] | – Those are her favorite. – …and she still | -那是她的最爱 -她仍然 |
| [02:08] | wanted to declare legal emancipation. | 想要和父母断绝关系 |
| [02:11] | And you better tell that bitch soon | 你最好早点告诉那贱人 |
| [02:12] | because I’m only good up to a certain point | 因为我不太擅长保密 |
| [02:14] | when it comes to keeping a secret. | 保不了多久 |
| [02:15] | Like, 12 hours ago, | 12小时前 |
| [02:17] | Eliot tells me he’s having an affair– Can you believe this? | 艾略特跟我说他在偷情 你能相信吗 |
| [02:21] | with a married man, married to a woman! | 和一个已婚男人 还是和女的结婚的 |
| [02:24] | He’s a homewrecker, Abbi! | 他是个小三 艾比 |
| [02:26] | Fuck. See? 12 hours. | 操 看吧 才12个小时 |
| [02:28] | Ugh. I can’t help myself. | 我控制不住自己 |
| [02:29] | Okay, okay, I-I’ll do it today. | 好的 我今天就给她说 |
| [02:31] | Butter her up — flowers, weed, something special. | 拍她马屁 送花或者大麻 特别的东西 |
| [02:33] | Just tell me it’s gonna be okay. | 告诉我不会有事 |
| [02:36] | Bobbi? | 芭比 |
| [02:37] | Bob, you’re froz… | 芭比 你定住了 |
| [02:39] | Okay, I can see the ceiling fan still moving in the background. | 你后面的风扇还在动 |
| [02:48] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [02:51] | What? | 不是吧 |
| [02:52] | – Dude, what? – Wait. | -什么鬼 -等等 |
| [02:54] | We both bought each other a dozen roses? | 我们都给对方买了一打玫瑰花 |
| [03:00] | That is amazing. Can you believe — | 这太神奇了 你能相信… |
| [03:01] | Okay, these are for you. | 这是你的 |
| [03:02] | And those are for you. | 这是你的 |
| [03:03] | Can you believe we are so psychically linked? | 你能相信我们如此心有灵犀吗 |
| [03:06] | No, and — and, luckily, nothing — | 不 幸好 没有什么 |
| [03:08] | you know, no space or time or distance or anything — | 空间 时间或者距离 任何东西 |
| [03:12] | would ever change that or take that away. | 都不能将其改变或带走 |
| [03:13] | Not even death. | 死亡都不行 |
| [03:15] | – That’s hot. – Yeah. | -好性感 -嗯 |
| [03:17] | So, today, we are going to do something | 今天我们要做一件 |
| [03:19] | – that you have wanted to do forever, baby. – What? | -你想做很久了的事 -什么 |
| [03:24] | “Sleep No More”! | 《不眠之夜》 |
| [03:26] | Are you serious? | 你认真的吗 |
| [03:28] | God, I love – living in New York City. | 天 我爱生活在纽约 |
| [03:29] | You just — You can’t beat it. | 没有比这更好的城市了 |
| [03:31] | You get to be physically near the cutting edge of art and culture | 你可以近距离接触到前卫的艺术和文化 |
| [03:34] | and then, just a mere decade later, | 然后在仅仅十年后 |
| [03:36] | actually afford to experience it. | 你就有钱能亲身体验了 |
| [03:39] | But wait. | 等等 |
| [03:40] | Aren’t you gonna be too scared to go? | 你难道不会太害怕而不敢去吗 |
| [03:41] | I mean, I’m excited. | 我很激动 |
| [03:42] | I am also scared, | 也很害怕 |
| [03:44] | but it is gonna be scary, right? | 不过真的会很吓人 对吗 |
| [03:45] | It’s not intended to be scary. | 本意不是想吓人 |
| [03:47] | It’s kind of like interactive, modern version of “Macbeth.” | 有点像交互式的现代版《麦克白》 |
| [03:50] | Ooh! Shakespeare. | 莎士比亚 |
| [03:51] | I love Shakespeare, all his stuff. | 我爱莎士比亚 爱他的一切 |
| [03:56] | God, Shakespeare was fucking cool, | 天 莎士比亚太酷了 |
| [03:58] | ’cause he was bisexual as hell, dawg. | 因为他是双性恋 |
| [04:00] | Also, you see visible vulva and penis in this show. | 而且你可以在这剧里看到阴户和阴茎 |
| [04:05] | This is gonna be so good, | 一定会很棒的 |
| [04:07] | because I want to go into this new experience | 因为我想参与这个新体验 |
| [04:09] | because, like, I want to be uncomfortable to grow. | 因为我想自在成长 |
| [04:11] | Beesh, I hear deesh, | 我懂你 姐们 |
| [04:13] | ’cause I believe in us growing together, | 因为我相信我们可以一起成长 |
| [04:16] | no matter what form that may take. | 不管以什么形式 |
| [04:18] | Me too, dude. | 我也是 姐们 |
| [04:21] | Together forever! | 永远在一起 |
| [04:29] | Petticoats, please. | 请把衬裙给我 |
| [04:30] | If you could keep these vertical, that would be great. | 如果你能把它们竖着放就再好不过了 |
| [04:32] | And, hey, is there a particular penis-and-vulva viewing room? | 请问有专门看阴茎阴户的房间吗 |
| [04:36] | I-I was told there would be visible vulva. | 我听说可以看到阴户 |
| [04:38] | Uh, you know, this is more of a — | 这个更像是 |
| [04:41] | this is honestly more of like a follow-the-action, | 更像是个跟着演员走 |
| [04:43] | choose-your-own-adventure type show. | 自主选择风格的剧 |
| [04:45] | Just follow the rooms. | 跟着房间走就是 |
| [04:47] | I bet it’s multiple rooms. | 肯定有不少房间 |
| [04:48] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [04:52] | It is scary, see? | 确实很可怕 看吧 |
| [04:53] | 20 people on one elevator, yes. | 20个人坐一台电梯 是的 |
| [04:55] | Actually terrifying. | 真的很可怕 |
| [04:59] | Okay. | 到了 |
| [05:07] | Things aren’t always as they seem here. | 不要被表象骗了 |
| [05:09] | Trust no one. | 别相信任何人 |
| [05:15] | I trust you. I was right there. | 我相信你 我刚在那边 |
| [05:17] | Me? | 我 |
| [05:18] | No, not you. God! | 不 不是你 天啊 |
| [05:20] | Jesus. You — I trust you. | 老天 你 我相信你 |
| [05:23] | – Me? – Oh, my God! | -我 -我的天 |
| [05:24] | No! What?! | 不 搞什么 |
| [05:26] | Are you bothering this girl? | 你在骚扰她吗 |
| [05:27] | Ilana? | 阿拉娜 |
| [05:27] | Okay. God, let’s go. Come on. | 天 我们走 快 |
| [05:32] | Oh, cute. | 可爱 |
| [05:33] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [05:36] | Okay, I can’t look. What do you think’s gonna happen to her? | 我不敢看 你觉得她会遭遇什么 |
| [05:38] | Ab, if this is too scary for you, we can go. | 小艾 如果太吓人 我们可以走 |
| [05:40] | Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no. | 嗯嗯嗯 不不不 |
| [05:42] | Yeah, it’s just kind of scary not knowing, | 只是不知道接下来会发生什么 |
| [05:44] | like, what’s gonna happen next. | 这有点吓人 |
| [05:47] | We gotta do new stuff and expand. | 我们得尝试新事物 扩张 |
| [05:50] | It’s the best part of life! | 这是生活最棒的地方 |
| [05:51] | Even if we are scared and terrified, we gotta do it — | 就算我们害怕 我们也得做 |
| [05:54] | like, new parts of the world, new ideas, | 去世界上没去过的地方 新的主意 |
| [05:56] | new — new parts of the — the country. | 国内没去过的地方 |
| [05:58] | – Ooh, like Queens. – Yeah, yeah. | -比如皇后区 -对对 |
| [06:00] | Or, like, further wherever, you know? | 反正就是更远的地方 不管是哪 |
| [06:02] | Like, I’m in, dude. | 算上我 |
| [06:03] | Girl, I love inner. Go in. Go deep. | 我喜欢内在 深入 去往深处 |
| [06:06] | And, you know, when your best friend is by your side, | 当你最好的朋友在你身旁 |
| [06:08] | there’s nothing to fear. | 就没什么好怕的 |
| [06:12] | Oh, man. | 天 |
| [06:16] | Ew, do you smell that? | 你闻到了吗 |
| [06:17] | Yeah, someone must have crop-dusted us all, huh? | 嗯 肯定有人朝我们放了屁 |
| [06:20] | Brilliant theatrical choice! | 绝妙的戏剧效果 |
| [06:22] | It was me. | 是我 |
| [06:24] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [06:28] | Oh, my God. Shitfuck. Nurses are never good. | 天啊 我靠 护士从来都不是好东西 |
| [06:31] | Although I do love the long-lost art of letter-writing. | 尽管我很喜欢失传已久的书信艺术 |
| [06:34] | I’m just like, “Where are the chills and/or thrills?” | “令人心惊胆战的东西都在哪儿” |
| [06:36] | You know, I want to be either really scared or really horny. | 我希望要么不寒而栗要么欲火中烧 |
| [06:39] | Are you kidding me? | 你逗我吗 |
| [06:40] | This is the creepiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. | 这是我见过的最瘆人的事了 |
| [06:42] | Oh, my God! | 我的天 |
| [06:43] | I don’t want to go on! | 我不想继续看下去了 |
| [06:47] | Yeah, it’s working. | 有作用了 |
| [06:49] | It’s working. | 有作用了 |
| [06:52] | Gorgeous cursive. | 草书很赞 |
| [06:55] | Yes! Candy! Okay, jackpot. | 棒 糖果 中奖了 |
| [06:58] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [07:00] | Except… | 除了 |
| [07:01] | I know what’s going on. This is like — | 我知道这是什么情况 这就是 |
| [07:04] | What if this is like a little sweet spot | 万一这里表面最无害 |
| [07:06] | so they — you let your guard down | 让你放下防备 |
| [07:07] | ’cause you’re, like, surrounded by candy, | 因为你周围都是糖果 |
| [07:09] | and then this is where they really hit you | 然后就在这时 |
| [07:10] | with, like, the terrifying, like, terrible stuff. | 他们给你上演超恐怖的东西 |
| [07:13] | Chill out. Nothing terrible’s gonna happen. | 淡定 不会有可怕的事发生 |
| [07:16] | I mean, you don’t know that, but — | 你可说不好 |
| [07:16] | In fact… | 事实上 |
| [07:19] | I know how to make a sweet memory even sweeter. | 我知道怎么让美好回忆更加美好 |
| [07:21] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [07:23] | Abbi, you are the best thing that’s ever come into my life, | 艾比 你是我生活里最美好的事 |
| [07:28] | and I know I’m taking a big swing here, | 我知道机会不大 |
| [07:29] | but I’m just gonna go for it. | 但我还是要说出来 |
| [07:31] | So, as I look for a roommate to replace Jaimé, | 我正在找室友替代海眉 |
| [07:34] | I’m thinking, like, | 我在想 |
| [07:35] | “Abbi and I spend a lot of time together. | 我和艾比相处的时间很多 |
| [07:37] | We get along.” | 我们很合得来 |
| [07:39] | Why not spend more time together? | 为什么不再多相处呢 |
| [07:42] | I’m talking covering each other’s rent once in a while. | 我们可以偶尔帮对方交房租 |
| [07:45] | I’m talking knowing what each other’s orgasms sound like | 知道彼此高潮声是怎样的 |
| [07:47] | instead of merely fantasizing about it. | 而不用去幻想 |
| [07:50] | Abbi Gary Anna Abrams… | 艾比·加里·安娜·艾布拉姆斯 |
| [07:57] | …will you be my roommate? | 你愿意做我的室友吗 |
| [08:04] | Uh, I… | 我 |
| [08:05] | You know what? | 知道吗 |
| [08:06] | Don’t even worry about it. Never happened. | 别担心 当我没说 |
| [08:09] | I-I get it. | 我懂的 |
| [08:10] | I acknowledged the swing-size, | 我知道这是个不小的请求 |
| [08:12] | and I even secured a backup offer. | 我甚至谈好了一个后备要约 |
| [08:14] | She’s very fucking cool, so it’s — it’s chill. | 她很酷 所以没关系 |
| [08:16] | It’s — It’s chill. I really… | 没关系 我真的 |
| [08:18] | It’s cool. | 没事 |
| [08:19] | No. No, no, no — Wait, wait, wait. | 不不不 等等 等等 |
| [08:20] | Dude, not — It’s… | 姐们 不是 |
| [08:23] | Fuck. Okay. | 靠 好吧 |
| [08:25] | You’re scaring me. | 你吓到我了 |
| [08:27] | I-I didn’t want to tell you when we were in here. | 我不想在这里面告诉你的 |
| [08:30] | All right, all right. | 好的 好的 |
| [08:31] | I-I was going to tell you today. | 我打算今天告诉你的 |
| [08:33] | Um, I got accepted | 我入围了 |
| [08:36] | to an artists’ residency program | 一个艺术家入驻项目 |
| [08:40] | in Boulder… | 在科罗拉多州 |
| [08:44] | Colorado. | 波尔得 |
| [08:47] | And I’m gonna go. | 我准备过去 |
| [08:52] | I was, um, gonna sell my shit | 我打算卖掉我的东西 |
| [08:55] | and use this as an opportunity to move. | 借此机会搬走 |
| [09:05] | – What… – Ilana! | -什么 -阿拉娜 |
| [09:06] | – …the fuck… – Dude? Ilana? | -搞什么 -阿拉娜 |
| [09:08] | What are you talking about?! | 你在说什么 |
| [09:10] | Ilana, um… | 阿拉娜 |
| [09:11] | We need to get you into therapy today. | 我们今天就得送你去看心理医生 |
| [09:14] | This is an emergency, okay?! | 这是紧急情况 懂吗 |
| [09:16] | This is an emergency! | 这是紧急情况 |
| [09:18] | Okay, fun fact-o, Ilana — | 有趣事实 阿拉娜 |
| [09:19] | Did you know that you could fly to Boulder | 你知道你可以飞去波尔德 |
| [09:22] | on a connecting flight through O’Hare | 在奥黑尔转机 |
| [09:24] | with a layover in Pittsburgh for $42? I mean — | 匹兹堡中转 只要42美元吗 |
| [09:27] | I had never looked up how to fly to “Boulder.” | 我从没查过去波尔德的航班 |
| [09:30] | Ew! | 恶心 |
| [09:31] | – All right, all right. – O’Hare?! | -好吧 好吧 -奥黑尔 |
| [09:32] | – Let’s just — – I don’t know what that is! | -我们 -我不知道那是啥 |
| [09:34] | Is that Gaelic?! | 是盖尔语吗 |
| [09:35] | This is a little — | 这有点 |
| [09:36] | Google, what is Boulder?! | 谷歌 什么是波尔德 |
| [09:38] | Jesus! | 老天 |
| [09:39] | – No! – God. | -不要过来 -天啊 |
| [09:40] | You didn’t even tell me you were applying. | 你都没跟我说你有申请 |
| [09:42] | Do you not consider me someone to talk shit through with? | 你难道不把我当做谈心的朋友吗 |
| [09:44] | Are we not partners in that way? | 我们不是这样的搭档吗 |
| [09:45] | Of course I do, Ilana. | 我当然当你是了 阿拉娜 |
| [09:48] | You’re my only friend. | 你是我唯一的朋友 |
| [09:53] | Well, I guess you’ve been stuck with me for awhile, | 我想你和我在一起了一段时间 |
| [09:55] | but not anymore. | 但以后不会了 |
| [09:56] | No, dude, no. I-I don’t feel that way. | 不 不 我不那么想 |
| [09:59] | Ilana, wait. Just wait. | 阿拉娜 等等 等等 |
| [10:06] | Oh, my goodness. | 我的天 |
| [10:08] | Ilana? | 阿拉娜 |
| [10:10] | Yeah. Vulva. | 阴户 |
| [10:12] | You have ruined the best part | 你把这个交互式节目 |
| [10:13] | of this interactive production for me. Not now. | 最棒的部分给毁了 现在不要 |
| [10:16] | I’m sorry, dude. I-I’m sorry. | 抱歉 真的抱歉 |
| [10:18] | I feel really stuck in my life right now, okay? | 我感觉我的生活停滞不前 好吗 |
| [10:22] | Nope. Nothing. | 没有感觉 |
| [10:23] | I need a change. | 我需要改变 |
| [10:24] | This is just like you with grad school. | 就跟你申请研究生一样 |
| [10:26] | I mean, you were settling into a track | 你走上了正轨 |
| [10:29] | and figuring out your career. | 摸索着你的事业 |
| [10:30] | Yeah, but I picked a school in New York. | 是 但我选了纽约的学校 |
| [10:32] | I factored you in. I always factor you in. | 我考虑了你 我总是会考虑你 |
| [10:36] | Otherwise, I would’ve talked to you about it. | 不然我会跟你说的 |
| [10:39] | I know. I-I know. I-I’m sorry. | 我知道 我知道 对不起 |
| [10:41] | Well, does — does anybody else know? | 还有人知道吗 |
| [10:44] | I mean, I just talked to my mom and — and your mom. | 我就跟我妈和你妈说了 |
| [10:48] | You told my mom?! | 你跟我妈说了 |
| [10:50] | That is so violating to me. | 我感觉受到了侵犯 |
| [10:53] | I’m sorry. Just hold on a second. | 抱歉 等一下 |
| [10:57] | Ilana? | 阿拉娜 |
| [11:06] | What a bitch. | 真是个婊子 |
| [11:12] | Ilana, come on. | 阿拉娜 别这样 |
| [11:15] | I…can…not believe… | 我 不 敢相信 |
| [11:20] | that you would not tell me this shit | 你竟然不跟我说这事 |
| [11:22] | if there was even a chance of you going. | 哪怕你只有很小的机会会走 |
| [11:24] | Dude, I was scared. | 我之前很害怕 |
| [11:26] | I-I mean, I’m still scared. | 我现在仍然害怕 |
| [11:28] | Do you think that I want to leave you? | 你以为我想离开你吗 |
| [11:31] | No, I almost wish I didn’t even get in | 不 我几乎希望我没有入选 |
| [11:33] | so I wouldn’t even have to do this. | 我就不用这么做了 |
| [11:35] | Like you’re not gonna get in | 好像还有你进不了的 |
| [11:36] | to some art program you apply to. | 艺术项目一样 |
| [11:39] | You are the best artist in the world of all time! | 你是全世界范围内史上最棒的艺术家 |
| [11:44] | No, I’m not. | 不 我不是 |
| [11:44] | Are you kidding me? No, I’m not. | 你逗我吗 我不是 |
| [11:47] | I need to go out and do this thing | 我得去做这件事 |
| [11:49] | and — and have an audience that’s more than just you | 赢得更多的受众 而不仅仅是你 |
| [11:52] | and — and my parents. | 还有我父母 |
| [11:55] | This is the first opportunity I have had | 这是我第一次有机会 |
| [11:56] | to finally live and breathe art | 实践和呼吸艺术 |
| [12:00] | rather than breathing in, | 而不是吸入 |
| [12:02] | like, leftover prosciutto-wrapped dates | 我从餐饮工作上偷来的 |
| [12:05] | that I stole from my catering gig. | 西班牙小菜火腿焗蜜枣 |
| [12:07] | They’re so good, though. | 挺好吃的 倒是 |
| [12:09] | Yeah, I know. That’s why I continually take them, | 我知道 所以我才一直偷 |
| [12:11] | but, I mean, then rats come, | 但是会引来老鼠 |
| [12:13] | and I just, like, haven’t figured out how to — | 我还没想出怎么 |
| [12:15] | It wouldn’t be an issue | 这本不会是个问题 |
| [12:16] | and you wouldn’t have to leave New York | 你也不用离开纽约 |
| [12:19] | if you just flushed them down the toilet | 如果你把它们扔进马桶冲掉 |
| [12:20] | or wrapped them in tinfoil | 或者用锡纸包住 |
| [12:21] | and then put them in a five-gallon Ziploc. | 然后放进5加仑的保鲜袋里 |
| [12:24] | It’s not about me not knowing how to flush them. | 这无关我不知道怎么冲走它们 |
| [12:26] | It’s not about that. | 与这无关 |
| [12:27] | I mean, it is a teeny bit about, like, | 跟有条不紊的策略 |
| [12:28] | the methodical strategies | 避开老鼠的策略 |
| [12:30] | in which we have to avoid rats. | 有一点点关系 |
| [12:33] | For the past eight years, | 过去8年里 |
| [12:34] | I have | 我从 |
| [12:36] | cleaned out hundreds of people’s pubes out of toilet bowls. | 马桶里清理出过上百个人的阴毛 |
| [12:41] | So many strangers — so many — | 很多陌生人 很多人 |
| [12:46] | have thrown up on me. | 吐在过我身上 |
| [12:47] | You do get thrown up on an exorbitant amount. | 你确实被吐了很多次 |
| [12:50] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [12:53] | Dude, I am 30 years old. | 姐们 我30岁了 |
| [12:57] | I’m done with New York. | 我不想在生活在纽约了 |
| [13:02] | I get it. | 我懂 |
| [13:03] | I’m really sorry. I’m sorry. | 我很抱歉 抱歉 |
| [13:05] | I’m really — I’m gross. | 抱歉 我好恶心 |
| [13:07] | I made this all about me, and it’s not about me. | 我把这弄成了我的问题 但是并不是 |
| [13:10] | But I thought you would’ve told me, | 但我以为你会告诉我 |
| [13:13] | but, you know, I just need time. | 我只是需要点时间 |
| [13:14] | I need time to process this, I — | 我需要时间来消化 |
| [13:17] | process the thought of you leaving. | 消化你要离开的消息 |
| [13:19] | Once I have that for a few months, | 等我消化几个月 |
| [13:22] | you know, whatever — see my therapist, | 看心理医生 |
| [13:23] | double up for a little while, | 增加一段时间的次数 |
| [13:25] | and — and push it through a little bit. | 然后再努力一把 |
| [13:27] | Just a little time, and it’ll be okay. | 给我一点时间 就好了 |
| [13:30] | I’ll be there to support you, I promise. | 我会支持你 我保证 |
| [13:36] | So, speaking of — | 说到 |
| [13:36] | – Sorry. – Speaking of time… | -抱歉 -说到时间 |
| [13:39] | Speaking of — Uh, speaking of time… | 说到 说到时间 |
| [13:45] | So, the — the program starts in two weeks. | 这个项目两周后开始 |
| [13:58] | What…are…you talking about?! | 你在说什么 |
| [14:01] | Don’t leave! | 别走 |
| [14:02] | Oh, my God. Stop doing this. | 我的天 别这样 |
| [14:03] | We’ve had years together, bitch! | 我们在一起度过了这么多年 贱人 |
| [14:05] | – You crazy fucking bitch! – Holy shit. | -你个疯婊子 -我操 |
| [14:07] | What are you talking about?! | 你在说什么 |
| [14:09] | Ilana, stop. Ilana? | 阿拉娜 住手 阿拉娜 |
| [14:20] | So, uh, what do you want to do now? | 你现在想做什么 |
| [14:23] | I think we should just go home. | 我们回家吧 |
| [14:25] | Come on, Ilana. We can’t end today like this. | 拜托 阿拉娜 今天不能就这样结束 |
| [14:28] | It’s still early. | 还早呢 |
| [14:36] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [14:38] | Oh, my God. I need something in my stomach so bad. | 我的天 我快饿死了 |
| [14:48] | Are you not — you’re not into it? | 你不 你不想吃吗 |
| [14:50] | I’m just not that hungry. | 我不饿 |
| [14:53] | Ilana… | 阿拉娜 |
| [14:55] | you are the best friend I have ever had in my whole life. | 你是我这辈子最好的朋友 |
| [15:00] | And I know that everybody is leaving. | 我知道大家都在离开 |
| [15:03] | I’m sorry. I know that this is, like, | 抱歉 我知道这 |
| [15:05] | the worst timing. | 时机很不好 |
| [15:08] | I just — Dude, I… | 我只是 我 |
| [15:12] | I need to, like, change my life. | 我需要改变我的生活 |
| [15:14] | I could do this in New York with you forever. | 我可以在纽约和你一直这样下去 |
| [15:18] | Exactly. | 就是啊 |
| [15:20] | I don’t want to. | 我不想 |
| [15:24] | Not because of you — | 不是因为你 |
| [15:25] | not because I don’t want to do this with you. | 不是因为我不想和你这样下去 |
| [15:27] | It’s just, I’m gonna be illustrating all day, every day. | 只是我需要每天都画插画 |
| [15:31] | Like, all the time, I’m gonna be immersed in it. | 无时不刻 我会全情投入其中 |
| [15:35] | I need you to be with me for this next journey, dude. | 我需要你陪我走下一段旅程 |
| [15:39] | I — Like, I need that. | 我 我需要这个 |
| [15:43] | You ruined “Sleep No More” For me. | 你毁了我的《不眠之夜》 |
| [15:45] | I didn’t even get to get off during the orgy scene. | 我在群交戏里都没有高潮 |
| [15:49] | Get off? In the — In the room? | 高潮 在那房间里吗 |
| [15:52] | People do. It’s really dark. | 很多人都会 房间很黑 |
| [15:56] | You know, Ab, I’ve always looked up to you, | 你知道 小艾 我一直敬仰你 |
| [16:01] | and I’ve always admired you | 一直欣赏你 |
| [16:02] | for being a deep and mysterious queen, | 一个深奥又神秘的女王 |
| [16:06] | but I’m gonna be… | 但我会 |
| [16:09] | right there with you. | 陪着你 |
| [16:11] | I’m gonna watch you and… | 我会看着你 |
| [16:15] | let you fly, or whatever. | 让你飞什么的 |
| [16:18] | I know that this residency is gonna be a good experi– | 我知道这个入驻项目会是次很好的经… |
| [16:28] | – Sorry. – You all right? | -抱歉 -你还好吗 |
| [16:29] | What I mean to say is | 我想说的是 |
| [16:31] | that I know that this experience is necessary for your growth. | 我知道这次经历对你的成长很重要 |
| [16:43] | Okay. | 好 |
| [16:44] | Sorry. Sorry. | 抱歉 抱歉 |
| [16:45] | You all right? Okay. | 你还好吗 好的 |
| [16:48] | I’m really proud of you. | 我很为你骄傲 |
| [16:52] | Thank you so much, dude. | 非常感谢你 |
| [16:53] | That means the world to me, really. | 这对我意义重大 |
| [16:56] | Listen, Ilana, you’re gonna become, | 听着 阿拉娜 你会成为 |
| [16:58] | like, this badass therapist who teaches people to grow | 一个超厉害的心理医生 教人们成长 |
| [17:01] | the way you helped me grow. | 就像你帮助我成长那样 |
| [17:03] | I mean, you’re gonna teach them how to feel their feelings | 你会教他们怎么感受自己的感受 |
| [17:05] | and how to do sex the right way. | 怎么正确做爱 |
| [17:07] | – There’s no right way. – See? | -没有正确的方式 -看吧 |
| [17:10] | This is what I’m talking about. | 我就是这意思 |
| [17:12] | Can I ask one thing of you? | 我能请求你一件事吗 |
| [17:14] | Anything, dude. Whatever. | 当然 什么事都行 |
| [17:17] | I want more of your hair. | 我想要更多你的头发 |
| [17:21] | I want a long-ass tail for sniffing. | 我要一根长辫子供我闻 |
| [17:29] | I-I shape my phone wigs | 当地铁困在两个车站之间 |
| [17:30] | when the train gets stuck between stations. | 我会修剪我的手机假发 |
| [17:32] | Um, so… | 所以 |
| [17:34] | Okay. Sure. | 好的 没问题 |
| [17:37] | I-I-I would love to. | 我很乐意 |
| [17:39] | Ab. | 小艾 |
| [17:41] | I’m not talking about shavings. | 不是剃毛 |
| [17:43] | The root. | 我要发根 |
| [17:45] | You should feel metal on your scalp skin. | 你的头皮应该感觉像金属 |
| [17:48] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [17:57] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [18:01] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [18:07] | Yeah, well, I mean, I don’t know when the sun’s gonna set, | 我不知道太阳什么时候会下山 |
| [18:10] | but maybe we can, like, walk a little bit down — | 或许我们可以去散散步 |
| [18:14] | Talk soon. | 回头聊 |
| [18:15] | Okay, handshake. | 好的 握手 |
| [18:25] | Yeah, so, you can move in straight up tomorrow. | 你明天就能搬进来 |
| [18:29] | Yes! Amazing! Thank you! | 太棒了 谢谢你 |
| [18:33] | And I’m sorry about that backup-offer shit before. | 之前后备要约的事我很抱歉 |
| [18:35] | I promise I will be a normal roommate. | 我保证我会做一个正常的室友 |
| [18:38] | Oh, I-I forgot to tell you one small thing — | 我忘了给你说一件小事 |
| [18:40] | Well, actually, two really big things. | 不对 是两件大”事” |
| [18:45] | I have two Great Danes. | 我有两只大丹狗 |
| [18:46] | Is that cool? | 可以带来吗 |
| [18:50] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [18:50] | Yes! I’m so glad you love dogs. | 棒 真开心你也喜欢狗 |
| [18:53] | Later. | 回头聊 |
| [19:25] | Oh, my God. Lookit, they love you! | 天呐 看 它们喜欢你 |
| [19:30] | Okay, Beyoncé, Jay-Z, let’s go, come on, come on. | 碧昂斯 Jay-Z 我们走 快点 |
| [19:32] | Come with Mama. | 跟妈妈来 |
| [19:35] | Come on, let’s go. | 快点 |
| [19:43] | What? | 干什么 |
| [19:43] | Okay, um, Ilana, please don’t hang up. | 阿拉娜 别挂 |
| [19:46] | I-I know you need space right now, | 我知道你现在需要空间 |
| [19:47] | and — and I really want to respect that, | 我也不想打扰 |
| [19:49] | but you have asked me this… | 但自从我认识你起 |
| [19:52] | hundreds of times, literally, since the moment I met you, | 你就求了我上百次 |
| [19:56] | and it looks like today is the day. | 似乎今天是满足你的好日子 |
| [20:03] | I’m gonna show you my poop. | 我会给你看我的屎 |
| [20:06] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [20:08] | This means so much to me. | 这对我意义重大 |
| [20:10] | Okay. | 好 |
| [20:12] | Here we go. | 开始了 |
| [20:19] | Fuck! | 操 |
| [20:20] | Queen! You must be an Ashkenazi Jew | 女王 你一定是德系犹太人 |
| [20:23] | ’cause you are lactose in-toler-ant! | 因为你乳糖不耐受 |
| [20:25] | Right? | 是吧 |
| [20:26] | No way could that have been all in your stomach at one time! | 这些不可能同时出现在你的胃里 |
| [20:28] | It was definitely exiting your esophagus | 它肯定在进入你小肠的时候 |
| [20:31] | as it was entering your small intestine. | 同时也在从你的食道出来 |
| [20:33] | I do feel lighter. | 我是感觉轻了一些 |
| [20:34] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [20:37] | Ilana, I needed that to work, dude. | 阿拉娜 我需要这能成功 |
| [20:39] | I am so sorry, and I knew | 我很抱歉 我知道 |
| [20:42] | that showing you my poop would cheer you up. | 给你看我的屎能让你开心 |
| [20:45] | * My poop * | *我的屎* |
| [20:47] | * My poop, my poop * | *我的屎 我的屎* |
| [20:49] | * My poop * | *我的屎* |
| [20:51] | You sound good. | 唱得不错 |
| [20:52] | Thanks. I-I did it a few times before I called you. | 谢谢 我打给你之前有练过几遍 |
| [20:55] | You know, I-I guess this distance thing | 我想这个远距离 |
| [20:58] | could make us closer in some ways. | 也可能让我们关系更加亲密 |
| [21:00] | Thank you for saying that. | 谢谢你这么说 |
| [21:02] | Ab. | 小艾 |
| [21:04] | Can I see it one more time? | 我还能再看一次吗 |
| [21:05] | Okay, one more time. | 好 就一次 |
| [21:07] | And then I really have to flush, | 然后我就得冲了 |
| [21:08] | ’cause I, like, can’t breathe in here anymore. | 因为我快要无法呼吸了 |
| [21:11] | Oh, Jesus. | 天 |
| [21:13] | Dude, no! | 不要 |
| [21:14] | Ilana, no screenshots. | 阿拉娜 不要截屏 |
| [21:15] | Delete that. That’s not fair. | 删掉 这不公平 |
| [21:17] | Yamaneika! Come here! | 亚美妮卡 过来 |
| [21:24] | Ilana, I need to talk to you about something. | 阿拉娜 我得跟你说件事 |
| [21:27] | I got accepted into an artists’ residency program | 我入选了一个艺术家入驻项目 |
| [21:30] | in Boulder, Colorado. | 在科罗拉多州波尔德 |
| [21:35] | Ilana, say something! For crying out loud, dude! | 阿拉娜 说点什么 该死 |
| [21:38] | Talk to me! | 跟我说话 |