| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:15] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [00:17] | Who did this? | 谁做的 |
| [00:20] | “We’ve pissed our pants so many a time, | 我们多次尿裤子 |
| [00:22] | “but this place was first and thus sublime. | 但这地方是第一次 因此庄严 |
| [00:25] | “You’ll find the next clue where the trash is disposed, | 你会在扔垃圾的地方找到下一条线索 |
| [00:28] | the cleanest can on the block, | 街区里最干净的垃圾桶 |
| [00:30] | right next to the hose.” | 就在水管旁 |
| [00:32] | “P.S. Dress cute and hot and fresh and young.” | PS 打扮得可爱性感清爽年轻 |
| [00:35] | Oh, my God, yes. | 天啊 太棒了 |
| [00:37] | Scavenger hunt! | 寻宝游戏 |
| [00:43] | Phone, okay. | 手机 |
| [00:55] | The garbage can next to the hose… | 水管旁的垃圾桶 |
| [01:02] | “The next clue is held tight by a long-haired purveyor | 下一条线索在一个长发供应商手里 |
| [01:06] | “In the place you got a hickey | 你在那里获得吻痕 |
| [01:07] | and I was a player.” | 我当时是个玩家 |
| [01:28] | This is the whole clue? It’s a blank piece of paper. | 这就是全部线索吗 这是张白纸 |
| [01:30] | Put it over the fire, you dumb whore. | 放在火上 傻逼婊子 |
| [01:36] | “The next clue’s in a place | 下一条线索在 |
| [01:38] | “We went and weeped. | 我们大哭的地方 |
| [01:39] | A man holds the key, he’s prolly asleep.” | 一个男人拿着钥匙 他可能在熟睡 |
| [01:44] | You know, you’re a sexy little bitch. | 你是个性感小婊子 |
| [01:50] | Where does she find these people? | 她从哪找来的这些人 |
| [01:53] | Thank you for the information. | 谢谢你提供的信息 |
| [01:59] | – Put it on my tab, Barney. – You got it. | -记我账上 巴尼 -没问题 |
| [02:05] | Got her! | 骗到她了 |
| [02:09] | Oh, my God. | 我的天啊 |
| [02:11] | Hi! | 你们好 |
| [02:12] | Oh– no, please, don’t show me your dick! | 不 拜托 别给我看你的屌 |
| [02:14] | I don’t wanna see another dick today. | 我今天不想再看到屌了 |
| [02:16] | It’s a clue. | 这是线索 |
| [02:19] | Oh, my God! Yes! Thank you! | 天啊 太好了 谢谢 |
| [02:39] | Oh, my God, dude. | 天啊 |
| [02:42] | This is nuts. | 这太疯狂了 |
| [02:43] | That scavenger hunt was insane. | 寻宝游戏太刺激了 |
| [02:47] | The Intrepid? Beautiful. | 无畏号航舰博物馆 很漂亮 |
| [02:49] | I mean, I’ve never… experienced anything like that. | 我从没经历过那样的事 |
| [02:52] | I mean, I rode a horse. | 我骑了马 |
| [02:54] | I have– I didn’t know that I could ride a horse. | 我之前都不知道我能骑马 |
| [02:57] | – I did. – You know me better | -我知道 -你比我 |
| [02:59] | – than I know myself. – Better than you know yourself. | -还了解我自己 -还了解你自己 |
| [03:00] | Same… Page! | 意见一致 |
| [03:05] | – It’s… – It’s so… Hilarious! | -太 -太好笑了 |
| [03:09] | Yes. | 棒 |
| [03:12] | We are an incredible team, and I love you. | 我们是个很棒的团队 我爱你 |
| [03:15] | That’s so sweet. | 好感动 |
| [03:16] | – And look, it’s our dish. – It is our dish. | -这是我们的菜 -没错 |
| [03:18] | I dream of these chicken fingers. | 我做梦都梦到这些鸡柳棒 |
| [03:20] | Funny thing is, we won’t have any dreams tonight | 有趣的是 我们今晚不会做任何梦 |
| [03:21] | because we’ll be shitting ourselves so crazy with diarrhea. | 因为我们会疯狂拉肚子 |
| [03:24] | – Cheers to that. – Yeah. | -干杯 -嗯 |
| [03:30] | Aren’t these incredible? | 是不是很好吃 |
| [03:36] | So anyway, Happy Friendiversary. | 总之 友情纪念日快乐 |
| [03:41] | Friendiversary… yeah. | 友情纪念日 是啊 |
| [03:44] | Dude, that… scavenger hunt | 姐们 那个寻宝游戏 |
| [03:48] | was genius for the friendiversary. | 安排在友情纪念日真是太有才了 |
| [03:53] | Okay, so now, gifts. | 现在是送礼时间 |
| [03:55] | Ilana, um, hold on a second, I need to… | 阿拉娜 等等 我需要 |
| [03:58] | You can go first. | 你可以先来 |
| [04:00] | No… No. | 不 不 |
| [04:03] | No, no, you go. | 不不 你先来 |
| [04:03] | Thank you, ’cause I am so freaking excited. | 谢谢 因为我激动死了 |
| [04:07] | Okay, so this is a family heirloom | 这是个传家宝 |
| [04:10] | from my great-grandmother, Fanny Rose, who came here | 属于我的曾祖母 范尼·罗斯 她在 |
| [04:13] | on a ship during “Fiddler on a Roof” times. | “《屋上的提琴手 》”时代坐船来到这 |
| [04:16] | And they were experiencing | 他们的犹太小村里 |
| [04:16] | violence and raids in their shtetl. | 充斥着暴力和袭击 |
| [04:19] | Grandma Fanny Rose, being the child, | 范尼·罗斯祖母 当时还是个孩子 |
| [04:21] | was the most innocent-looking, | 一张天真无邪的脸 |
| [04:22] | so she swallowed these diamonds, | 她吞下这些钻石 |
| [04:25] | over and over again, | 一次又一次 |
| [04:26] | pooping them out and sifting through the poop | 拉出来 又从粪便里挑出来 |
| [04:28] | and swallowing them again to continue the cycle | 再吞下 如此循环往复 |
| [04:31] | and keep them safe until they were in America. | 保证它们的安全 直到他们抵达美国 |
| [04:39] | I don’t know what to say. | 我不知道该说什么 |
| [04:40] | No words necessary. Just put it on. | 什么都不用说 戴上就好 |
| [04:43] | Uh, Ilana, I– I can’t accept this. | 阿拉娜 我不能接受这个 |
| [04:45] | It’s offensive if you don’t accept it. | 你要是不接受就太无礼了 |
| [04:47] | Not just to me but to Grandma Fanny Rose, | 不仅是对我还包括范尼·罗斯祖母 |
| [04:49] | may she rest in peace. | 愿她安息 |
| [04:52] | Okay… uh… | 熬吧 |
| [04:53] | I’ll just try it on. | 我试试 |
| [04:56] | I can feel her when I hold the necklace. | 我拿着项链的时候能感觉到她 |
| [04:59] | And I feel like you’re bringing her back to life. | 我感觉你让她起死回生了 |
| [05:02] | It looks gorgeous. | 太美了 |
| [05:05] | Even, like, on a t-shirt, | 即使是配着T恤 |
| [05:06] | you kinda dressed down, which I get. | 你穿得很随便 我懂 |
| [05:08] | It’s– it’s sort of natural on you. | 在你身上显得很自然 |
| [05:11] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [05:13] | It’s your turn. | 该你了 |
| [05:14] | Yeah, my turn– okay. | 该我 好 |
| [05:19] | I got you, um… | 我给你 |
| [05:23] | …I did research, | 我做了调查 |
| [05:25] | and I thought about it a lot, | 我思考了很久 |
| [05:28] | and I got a memento | 我买了个纪念品 |
| [05:30] | that I– I think is the best– | 我觉得 |
| [05:33] | –and it is a… | 这是个 |
| [05:36] | intensive hydrating face mask. | 浓润保湿面膜 |
| [05:41] | – What? – Well, okay. | -什么 -这样 |
| [05:42] | Okay, so, it– it’s a– it’s symbolizing– | 这象征着 |
| [05:45] | You know, it’s a metaphor for how I feel about you. | 这象征了我对你的感觉 |
| [05:49] | You feel that I’m dry? | 你觉得我很干 |
| [05:50] | No. | 不 |
| [05:52] | No, I feel that you are nourishing. | 不 我觉得你很滋润 |
| [05:58] | And that you’re extremely rejuvenating for me. | 我觉得你让我越来越年轻 |
| [06:03] | You regenerate me. | 你让我再生 |
| [06:05] | And you restore me, | 你让我复原 |
| [06:07] | my– not only myself but my skin. | 不仅是我自己 还有我的皮肤 |
| [06:10] | – Great, thank you, thank you so much, great. – Yeah. Are you mad? | -很好 谢谢你 很好 -你生气了吗 |
| [06:13] | Not mad, just informed. | 没生气 就是了解了 |
| [06:15] | Well, Ilana, get ready… | 阿拉娜 准备好 |
| [06:20] | because… | 因为 |
| [06:22] | I planned… | 我策划了 |
| [06:25] | a big night… | 盛大一夜 |
| [06:29] | on the top of the Empire… State Building. | 在帝国大厦的顶楼 |
| [06:35] | And I got the bill as well. | 我已经买了单 |
| [06:37] | No, the tradition is that we go dutch, | 不 传统是我们AA制 |
| [06:38] | unless you forgot. | 除非你忘了 |
| [06:40] | No, I did not forget, | 不 我没忘 |
| [06:41] | I love that tradition and very much remember. | 我喜欢这个传统 记得很清楚 |
| [06:47] | I think it’s actually better up here in the rain. | 我觉得下雨天上来更好 |
| [06:51] | Glad I spent $1,200 bucks getting these heads made. | 真高兴我花了1200做了这些头 |
| [06:53] | – What? – Forget it. | -什么 -没什么 |
| [06:57] | It is kinda romantic. | 有点浪漫 |
| [06:58] | Romantic, I was just about to say that. | 浪漫 我正想说这个 |
| [07:00] | We are, like, inseparable | 我们形影不离 |
| [07:01] | and, like, on the same page, totally, completely. | 完完全全意见一致 |
| [07:04] | Oh, my God, Ilana, | 天啊 阿拉娜 |
| [07:05] | and I– and I planned an activity, for us. | 我为我们准备了一个活动 |
| [07:08] | Check out the city. | 眺望城市 |
| [07:10] | Come on… here we go. | 来吧 好了 |
| [07:13] | You’re up first. VIPs. | 你先来 贵宾 |
| [07:23] | The city really is so magical. | 这城市真的很有魔力 |
| [07:27] | Oh, my God, dude! | 天啊 |
| [07:29] | – What? – Hot sex! | -什么 -火热性爱 |
| [07:30] | – Look right there. – Let me see, let me see, let me see. | -看那边 -我看看 我看看 |
| [07:35] | Oh, my God, Ilana, this is disgusting. | 天啊 阿拉娜 好恶心 |
| [07:39] | You are so prude. | 你也太正经了 |
| [07:41] | It’s weird. | 真奇怪 |
| [07:43] | No, I’m not. | 不 我不是 |
| [07:47] | Two ladies? Oh, my God! You gotta see this! | 两个女人 天啊 你一定要看看 |
| [07:52] | We gotta come up here more often. | 我们要经常上来 |
| [07:57] | What the , Ilana? | 什么鬼 阿拉娜 |
| [07:59] | Do not be a homophobe. | 别他妈恐同 |
| [08:01] | No, look! | 不 快看 |
| [08:05] | No! | 不 |
| [08:08] | Holy shit! | 我操 |
| [08:14] | Okay, love bug, so you say she fell off the fifth floor balcony? | 亲爱的 你说你看到她从五楼阳台摔下 |
| [08:18] | Yeah, it was the one with the blue towel, | 就是有蓝色毛巾的那层 |
| [08:20] | and she fell, like, right here. | 她就摔在这里 |
| [08:22] | And then her– her body bounced. Right over there. | 然后她的身体弹了起来 弹到那边 |
| [08:27] | Cool. | 酷 |
| [08:29] | I’m sorry, sweethearts, there’s no evidence here. | 不好意思 亲爱的 没有证据 |
| [08:32] | Maybe you two were bored. | 或许你们两个无聊了 |
| [08:33] | You just need a little excitement. | 你们需要一点刺激 |
| [08:35] | You know it’s a felony to report a false crime? | 你们知道报假警是联邦重罪吗 |
| [08:38] | Okay, we don’t need any excitement. | 我们不需要刺激 |
| [08:40] | We were in the middle of excitement. | 我们当时就处于刺激中 |
| [08:42] | Okay, all right. Calm down. | 好吧 冷静 |
| [08:44] | You two have a nice night, okay? | 祝你们晚上愉快 |
| [08:48] | I mean, we saw that, right? | 我们看到了 对吗 |
| [08:51] | Yeah, I mean, I think so. | 嗯 我觉得看到了 |
| [08:55] | Ilana, that’s the guy! | 阿拉娜 就是他 |
| [09:01] | Holy shit! | 我嘞个去 |
| [09:03] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [09:05] | He’s got a Burton bag! | 他有个伯顿包 |
| [09:07] | Abbi. Dude. | 艾比 搞错没有 |
| [09:09] | No, the body’s in the bag, Ilana! | 不 尸体在那包里 阿拉娜 |
| [09:10] | Okay, okay. | 好的 |
| [09:14] | I mean, what are we even gonna say to him when we confront him? | 我们和他对峙的话要和他说什么 |
| [09:16] | I mean, are we confronting him? | 我们要和他对峙吗 |
| [09:18] | Yeah, we’re gonna be, like, we saw you | 我们就说 我们看到你 |
| [09:19] | kill your girlfriend, bitch! | 杀了你女友 贱人 |
| [09:20] | God, I mean, this is so crazy. | 天 这太疯狂了 |
| [09:22] | We are being so crazy right now. | 我们现在好疯狂 |
| [09:24] | What if he has a gun? | 万一他有枪呢 |
| [09:26] | He probably does. Everybody has guns. | 他八成有 人人都有枪 |
| [09:28] | Oh, my God. I saw this Oprah once | 我的天 我看过一期《奥普拉脱口秀》 |
| [09:29] | where this girl was about to be sexually assaulted, | 有个女孩在将要被性侵的时候 |
| [09:31] | and then she twisted the dude’s dick. | 扭断了那男的老二 |
| [09:33] | I mean, that is always in the back of my mind. | 我一直记着 |
| [09:37] | And then the other girl, who also had been attacked, | 另外一个女生 她也被袭击了 |
| [09:39] | pissed on her attacker, and it worked. Genius. Yep. | 往袭击者身上撒尿 奏效了 天才 |
| [09:41] | Genius. | 天才 |
| [09:47] | – A karaoke bar? – What? | -卡拉OK吧 -什么 |
| [09:53] | Do you see him? | 你看到他了吗 |
| [09:55] | Where the did he go? | 他去哪了 |
| [10:12] | The suitcase, he doesn’t have the suitcase. | 行李箱不见了 |
| [10:22] | What kind of sick comes in here and eats dessert | 什么样的变态在把未婚妻 |
| [10:24] | after he throws his fiancée out of the building? | 从楼上扔下后到这里来吃点心 |
| [10:27] | Why even get engaged if you’re just gonna murder her? | 如果你要杀她干嘛还订婚 |
| [10:34] | Ugh, milk? What a baby. | 牛奶 真他妈幼稚 |
| [10:50] | Let’s go. | 我们走 |
| [11:06] | Let’s go. | 快过去 |
| [11:10] | Hi, um, excuse me, sir, | 打扰下 先生 |
| [11:12] | do you know the name of the movie that that man | 你知道刚才那个男人 |
| [11:13] | just bought tickets to see? | 买了什么电影的票吗 |
| [11:14] | He bought tickets to “Daddy’s Back.” | 他买了《爸爸回来了》 |
| [11:17] | Jerking off at “Daddy’s Back” after he kills his wife? | 杀妻之后对着《爸爸回来了》打飞机 |
| [11:21] | How long is the movie? | 电影多长 |
| [11:23] | An hour and 50 minutes. | 110分钟 |
| [11:25] | Plus 45 minutes of previews. | 还有45分钟的预告 |
| [11:27] | That means we have enough time to sneak into his apartment. | 那我们就有足够时间偷偷进入他的公寓了 |
| [11:30] | Whoa! No, bitch. You are a cuckoo bitch. | 不 贱人 你真是个没脑子的贱人 |
| [11:33] | We’re not breaking into his apartment. | 我们不会闯进他的公寓 |
| [11:35] | Okay, Ilana, you were the one that just said | 阿拉娜 是你刚才说 |
| [11:37] | that we’re like, this productive and efficient team. | 我们是个高效率的团队 |
| [11:39] | We run this city. | 我们主宰着这城市 |
| [11:41] | You know, the mother of his children does deserve her justice. | 孩子他妈值得伸张正义 |
| [11:43] | Her story must be heard. | 她的故事必须传播出去 |
| [11:45] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [11:47] | Yeah, we just need to make sure we do this the smart way. | 我们只需要聪明点 |
| [11:52] | – Hi! – Ladies, can I help you? | -嗨 -女士们 有什么需要帮助的吗 |
| [11:54] | You can indeed. | 没错 |
| [11:56] | We are here to surprise our uncle. | 我们是来给我们叔叔一个惊喜的 |
| [11:59] | We’re his nieces. | 我们是他的侄女 |
| [12:00] | He just left a little bit ago, | 他不久前才离开 |
| [12:01] | and we wanted to sneak into his apartment | 我们想偷偷进入他的公寓 |
| [12:03] | to surprise him for his birthday. | 给他的生日一个惊喜 |
| [12:06] | See, we got a cake and everything. | 看 我们准备了蛋糕 |
| [12:07] | Ugh, yum. | 好好吃 |
| [12:09] | And we just wanted to set up before everybody else got here. | 我们想在大家来之前布置好 |
| [12:12] | We know he’s on the fifth floor, | 他住五楼 |
| [12:14] | and we know he’s on a corner apartment, | 公寓在角落里 |
| [12:15] | but we just forgot the exact number. | 但我们忘了门牌号了 |
| [12:18] | Oh, that’s Mr. Hudson’s apartment, 5D. | 那是哈德逊先生的公寓 5D |
| [12:22] | Yeah, Uncle Hudson, we love him. | 对 哈德逊叔叔 我们爱他 |
| [12:24] | Oh, sweet Uncle Hudson. Yeah. | 善良的哈德逊叔叔 |
| [12:29] | You two are adorable. | 你们俩真可爱 |
| [12:31] | You too. | 你也是 |
| [12:34] | Jesus, white girls can get away with anything | 天啊 白人女真是什么都能侥幸成功 |
| [12:36] | – if you act dumb enough. – I know, right? | -如果你能装傻的话 -就是说吧 |
| [12:38] | We’re lucky we look dumb. | 我们很走运我们看着就很傻 |
| [12:40] | Healthy-looking hookers. | 外表健康的妓女 |
| [12:53] | I mean, this is crazy. | 这太疯狂了 |
| [12:54] | I mean, we really can do anything if we put our minds together. | 我们真的无所不能 如果我们联合在一起 |
| [12:56] | So, we have an hour | 在他看完电影前 |
| [12:57] | – until he gets out of the movie. – Right. | -我们有一小时时间 -对 |
| [12:59] | What are we even looking for? | 我们要找什么 |
| [13:01] | Evidence. | 证据 |
| [13:07] | This was a home. | 这里曾是个家 |
| [13:08] | That… had heart. | 一个有心的家 |
| [13:14] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [13:16] | Holy shit! | 我去 |
| [13:18] | This is an entire accordion folder full of takeout menus. | 这个折叠文件夹里全是外卖目录 |
| [13:23] | You ever heard of Seamless? | 听说过Seamless[在线订餐公司]吗 |
| [13:24] | Insane, he probably doesn’t even let her on the Internet | 难以置信 他说不定不让她上网 |
| [13:26] | ’cause she’ll read too much. | 因为她太爱阅读 |
| [13:27] | This is nuts. | 天呐 |
| [13:29] | Ugh, look at this. They were a happy couple. | 看看这个 他们曾是幸福的两口子 |
| [13:32] | – Sick. – And all along, his blood is just boiling | -可怕 -而一直以来 他的怒气不断累积 |
| [13:35] | that she’s so much hotter than he is. | 因为她比他性感 |
| [13:37] | Cleaning supplies. | 清洁用品 |
| [13:38] | An entire cabinet full of cleaning supplies? | 一整柜的清洁用品 |
| [13:41] | She thinks that she’s gonna use them to clean the toilet. | 她以为她要用这些清理马桶 |
| [13:44] | Guess what? He’s using them to clean up her blood. | 结果呢 他用这些清理她的血迹 |
| [13:47] | God. | 天啊 |
| [14:04] | Oh, my God. Okay. Holy shit, holy shit… | 我的天 我操 我操 |
| [14:09] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [14:11] | They’re definitely married, look at all her clothes! | 他们肯定结婚了 看看她的衣服 |
| [14:13] | I can’t stand dead women’s clothes! | 我受不了死亡女人的衣服 |
| [14:14] | Jesus. | 老天 |
| [14:17] | 9-1-1, what’s your emergency? | 911 你有什么紧急事件 |
| [14:19] | Hey, it’s Ilana. | 我是阿拉娜 |
| [14:21] | We– we called earlier. | 我们之前打过来一次 |
| [14:22] | About the woman being pushed off the balcony! | 关于一个女人从阳台被推下 |
| [14:23] | And now we’re being held hostage in a man’s apartment. | 现在我们在一个男人家里被挟持做人质 |
| [14:33] | Oh, my God. The cake! | 天啊 蛋糕 |
| [14:36] | I left the cake. | 我忘拿蛋糕了 |
| [14:38] | Look, I’m so sorry, dude. | 我很抱歉 |
| [14:40] | I’m sorry, I think this is the moment that we die. | 我很抱歉 我想我们的死期就是现在 |
| [14:42] | This is it, this is it. | 就是现在了 |
| [14:44] | My mom’s gonna be so pissed. | 我妈会超生气的 |
| [14:52] | Ilana, can I just say something? | 阿拉娜 我能说点什么吗 |
| [14:56] | You’re my favorite person. | 你是我最爱的人 |
| [14:59] | Oh, my God, you’re mine. | 你也是我的 |
| [15:00] | You’re my everything. | 你是我的一切 |
| [15:02] | And I want to tell you something before we die. | 我想在我们死前跟你说件事 |
| [15:04] | – Okay. – This morning… | -嗯 -今早 |
| [15:06] | I was the horse. | 我就是那匹马 |
| [15:11] | What? | 什么 |
| [15:19] | We gotta hide, we gotta– Go, go, go! | 我们得躲起来 快快 |
| [15:20] | Get in the corner, get in the corner! | 去角落里 去角落里 |
| [15:29] | Sorry. I’m so sorry. | 抱歉 我很抱歉 |
| [15:32] | God, no! Don’t– | 天 别 别 |
| [15:33] | No, no, kill me and let her go! | 不要 杀了我 放她走 |
| [15:35] | No, Abbi, no! | 不 艾比 不 |
| [15:36] | Who the are you? | 你们是谁 |
| [15:38] | What the is that smell? | 那是什么味道 |
| [15:40] | Chicken fingers from… | 鸡柳棒 |
| [15:41] | The House of Barbecue! | 烧烤屋的 |
| [15:43] | The are you doing here? | 你们在这干什么 |
| [15:44] | We saw you kill your soulmate! | 我们看到你杀了你的灵魂伴侣 |
| [15:45] | We were on the top of the Empire State Building! | 我们当时在帝国大厦的顶楼 |
| [15:47] | We saw you push her off the balcony, you sick ! | 我们看到你把她推下阳台 变态 |
| [15:50] | And then we found your sex doll! | 然后我们又发现了你的充气娃娃 |
| [15:53] | You freak! | 你个变态 |
| [15:54] | Oh, you did, did you? Okay. | 是吗 好吧 |
| [15:56] | You wanna know who’s in the closet with you, that’s Fran. | 你想知道衣柜里的是谁吗 那是弗兰 |
| [15:58] | And you wanna know who fell off the balcony? | 想知道是谁摔下了阳台吗 |
| [16:00] | That was Fran’s sister Lydia. | 弗兰的姐姐莉迪亚 |
| [16:02] | Lydia’s a sex doll, too. | 莉迪亚也是充气娃娃 |
| [16:03] | I didn’t push her, she fell. | 我没有推她 她自己摔下去的 |
| [16:05] | We were making love. | 我们在做爱 |
| [16:08] | And honestly, it’s a real design flaw, | 老实说 那是个设计漏洞 |
| [16:10] | you know, how heavy they make the head. | 他们把头做得太重了 |
| [16:12] | ‘Cause sometimes, I wanna put the girls up against something, | 因为有时候 我想让她们靠在什么上面 |
| [16:14] | you know, I wanna stand them up straight. | 我想让她们站直 |
| [16:15] | Yeah, yeah, yeah. | 嗯嗯 |
| [16:16] | Well, th– why was the body in a suitcase, huh? | 那尸体为什么要装在行李箱里 |
| [16:20] | You were following me? | 你们跟踪我 |
| [16:21] | I was taking my fake wife to get repaired, | 我是带我的假妻子去修理 |
| [16:24] | because her head fell off when she hit the– | 因为她的脑袋断了 |
| [16:27] | the fire escape on the way down. | 掉落过程中撞到了防火梯 |
| [16:29] | That’s a black market sex doll hospital. | 那是个黑市充气娃娃医院 |
| [16:31] | Like an American Girl doll hospital. | 就像美国女孩洋娃娃医院 |
| [16:33] | – Exactly. – Okay. | -没错 -好吧 |
| [16:34] | Then what were you doing jerking off at “Daddy’s Back”? | 那你干嘛去看《爸爸回来了》打飞机 |
| [16:37] | – Yeah! – Wasn’t jerking off. | -是啊 -我没有打飞机 |
| [16:40] | I sometimes go to the movie theater | 我有时去电影院 |
| [16:41] | and pay 30 bucks for a ticket because I enjoy the popcorn. | 花30块买票 因为我喜欢他们的爆米花 |
| [16:44] | Okay, I– I’m going to apologize, | 我要道歉 |
| [16:47] | – ’cause I feel really– This is not right. – I’m really sorry, dude. | -因为我觉得 这是不对的 -我很抱歉 |
| [16:49] | – This is really just awful, you know. – We thought it was a– | -这太糟了 -我们以为 |
| [16:51] | – We thought it was a woman. – No, no. | -我们以为那是个女人 -不不 |
| [16:52] | And we were like– we were gonna take | 所以我们 我们打算 |
| [16:54] | matters into our own hands and save this person. | 自己来处理 拯救这个人 |
| [16:55] | It’s really bad, we thought it was battery against women. | 真的很糟 我们以为你在殴打女人 |
| [16:58] | Yeah, yeah, that’s not you. | 那不是你 |
| [16:59] | I mean, that’s not you. You wouldn’t do that. | 那不是你 你不会那么做 |
| [17:00] | Right after we explained to the cops why– | 就在我们跟警察解释为什么之后 |
| [17:03] | – What? – Why we– Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry! | -什么 -为什么 抱歉 抱歉 |
| [17:04] | We did not know! We did not know! | 我们不知道 我们不知道 |
| [17:06] | So as you can see, this has just been a stupid misunderstanding. | 如你们所见 这就是场愚蠢的误会 |
| [17:10] | ‘Cause we really legit thought that he murdered a– a lady. | 因为我们真以为他杀了一个女人 |
| [17:15] | Not that a true companion, | 并不是说一个真正的伴侣 |
| [17:17] | – you know, wasn’t injured tonight. – No. | -今晚没有受伤 -是的 |
| [17:23] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [17:25] | Enough. | 够了 |
| [17:29] | Guys, shut up. | 闭嘴 |
| [17:30] | – Sorry. – This guy… | -不好意思 -这人 |
| [17:33] | What’s your name? | 你叫什么 |
| [17:34] | Uh, Terry. | 特里 |
| [17:35] | Terry’s just one man… | 特里只是一个 |
| [17:37] | trying to find a little bit of comfort | 试图在这操蛋颠倒的世界里 |
| [17:39] | in this up, upside down world. | 寻找一丝慰藉的男人 |
| [17:43] | And what’s the difference between Fran and your guns | 弗兰和你们的枪有什么区别 |
| [17:46] | making you feel like men? | 都让你们觉得自己是男人 |
| [17:48] | And what’s the difference between Fran and… | 弗兰和这个男人 |
| [17:51] | this guy? | 有什么区别 |
| [17:53] | If I rubbed him on my clit, | 如果我用他摩擦我的阴蒂 |
| [17:54] | does that make me a freak? | 我算是变态吗 |
| [17:56] | You know, he’s soft and– and firm at the same time, | 他既柔软又坚固 |
| [17:59] | it’s an interesting feeling that I wouldn’t mind experiencing. | 这是种有意思的感觉 我不介意体验一番 |
| [18:03] | Ew, Ilana. That was you? | 阿拉娜 那人是你 |
| [18:07] | You said disgusting things to me. | 你对我说了很恶心的话 |
| [18:10] | Happy Friendiversary. | 友情纪念日快乐 |
| [18:12] | So sweet. | 感人 |
| [18:15] | So what are we doing? | 我们要怎么做 |
| [18:17] | Okay, so you don’t want to press charges? | 你不想提起控诉 |
| [18:19] | No, we– we– we would never. | 不 我们不会的 |
| [18:21] | – That’s not right. – It’s like, it was a misunderstanding. | -那是不对的 -是一场误会 |
| [18:22] | Not you two– you gals committed a felony. | 不是你们两个 你们犯了联邦重罪 |
| [18:25] | You, sir, do you wanna– | 你 先生 你想 |
| [18:27] | No, I just want this over. | 不 我只希望快点结束 |
| [18:30] | That’s really nice. | 真好 |
| [18:31] | – Thank you. – Okay. | -谢谢你 -好了 |
| [18:33] | Let’s go. | 我们走 |
| [18:34] | – So sorry. – So sorry about that. | -非常抱歉 -非常抱歉 |
| [18:36] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [18:40] | Bye, Fran. | 再见 弗兰 |
| [18:50] | Well, Fran. It really is my birthday. | 弗兰 今天真的是我生日 |
| [19:03] | Want some? | 要吃点吗 |
| [19:08] | Okay, Alec Baldwin. | 亚历克·鲍德温 |
| [19:11] | – No shoes. – Yeah. | -不穿鞋子 -嗯 |
| [19:12] | I feel like he gets pedicures and keeps them nice, right? | 我觉得他会去修脚 对吗 |
| [19:14] | Totally. | 绝对地 |
| [19:16] | Okay, Kim Kardash. | 金·卡戴珊 |
| [19:18] | Okay, so I’m sure her feet are, like, | 我相信她的脚肯定 |
| [19:20] | sexy or whatever, but I say keep the shoes on. | 很性感什么的 不过我觉得还是穿鞋 |
| [19:24] | I’d– I’d want to see the original feet, sure. | 我也想看原始的脚 当然 |
| [19:27] | Wait, hold on, you think she got her feet done? | 什么 你觉得她的脚有整形吗 |
| [19:29] | Oh, no doubt. | 没有悬念 |
| [19:32] | People get fat injected to the balls of their feet | 有人把脂肪注入脚掌 |
| [19:34] | to make high heels easier to wear. | 这样穿高跟鞋更轻松 |
| [19:37] | Gross. | 恶心 |
| [19:38] | I know, um… | 是啊 |
| [19:40] | Ugh, dude. Michael Jordan. | 迈克尔·乔丹 |
| [19:43] | – Okay. – Yikes. | -好 -囧 |
| [19:43] | Well, I feel like his feet would be, like, super scary. | 我觉得他的脚会很吓人 |
| [19:45] | – Horrifying. – But so scary that I’d want to see them, | -恐怖 -吓人到让我想见识下 |
| [19:47] | so no shoes, definitely. | 所以不穿鞋 |
| [19:53] | Tonight was insane. | 今晚真疯狂 |
| [19:55] | – Nuts. – That was crazy. | -疯了 -太疯狂了 |
| [19:58] | Yeah, like… | 嗯 就像 |
| [19:59] | That was … | 太 |
| [20:01] | That was nuts. | 太疯狂了 |
| [20:02] | I mean, you jumped in front of me. | 你跳到了我前面 |
| [20:05] | You were gonna risk your life for me. | 你为了我冒着生命危险 |
| [20:08] | Well, I mean, your scavenger hunt was amazing. | 你的寻宝游戏也很赞 |
| [20:13] | Okay, Ilana, I gotta fess up. | 阿拉娜 我得坦白 |
| [20:14] | I forgot about our friendiversary. | 我忘了我们的友情纪念日 |
| [20:16] | I’m sorry, I– I’m really sorry. | 对不起 真的对不起 |
| [20:19] | Yeah, I know. | 我知道 |
| [20:20] | But that doesn’t mean you should die. | 但那并不代表你该死 |
| [20:23] | No, no, I know, | 不不 我知道 |
| [20:24] | but you did the whole scavenger hunt, | 但你设计了整个寻宝游戏 |
| [20:26] | and then you also gave me | 然后你给了我 |
| [20:27] | your great-grandmother’s necklace that she kept | 你曾祖母的项链 她藏在 |
| [20:29] | up her butt or whatever. | 她的屁股里什么的 |
| [20:31] | I– I should– I should probably take that back. | 或许我该收回来 |
| [20:33] | Yeah, I would love to give it back. | 我很乐意还给你 |
| [20:34] | That was a really intense story, | 那故事太深刻了 |
| [20:36] | and I just feel weird having it on my neck. | 戴在脖子上感觉很怪 |
| [20:37] | It was inappropriate, but my love for you is | 这不合宜 但我对你的爱 |
| [20:39] | sometimes inappropriate, and you know what? | 有时就是不合宜的 你知道吗 |
| [20:41] | It looked beautiful on you tonight, so me. | 今晚你戴着很漂亮 所以我日 |
| [20:44] | But Ilana, I just– I will say that I do | 但阿拉娜 我想说 |
| [20:47] | really stand by those sheet masks, | 我真的安利那面膜 |
| [20:48] | like, I know it’s a small thing, | 我知道很不起眼 |
| [20:50] | but those are very hydrating. | 但是真的非常保湿 |
| [20:52] | It’s just a great product overall, I think, in my opinion | 我觉得是个很棒的产品 在我看来 |
| [20:55] | Sure. | 好的 |
| [20:58] | Isn’t it nuts when you think about | 如果你想想自从我们认识后 |
| [21:00] | how much shit we have done together since we met? | 我们做了多少事 是不是很疯狂 |
| [21:04] | How powerful we’ve become? | 我们变得多么强大 |
| [21:06] | All the witch energy we have soaked up from this city. | 我们从这座城市里汲取的女巫能量 |
| [21:11] | Also, okay, let’s just say that that dude had | 假设那个男的 |
| [21:14] | murdered his wife tonight. | 今晚杀了他老婆 |
| [21:15] | – Right. – And let’s just say that she was a human. – Yes. | -嗯 -假设她是个人类 -嗯 |
| [21:19] | I mean, we would have solveda (bleep) murder mystery tonight. | 那我们今晚就破了一起杀人案 |
| [21:22] | I know, we were literally, like… | 是啊 我们就像 |
| [21:30] | Holy shit, what the… | 我的天 什么 |
| [21:31] | This is insane. | 太不可思议了 |
| [21:32] | How are… How are we not magic? | 我们怎么可能没有魔力 |
| [21:34] | You tell me, ’cause I don’t know. | 你告诉我 因为我不知道 |
| [21:36] | You can’t tell me. You don’t know! | 你没法告诉我 你不知道 |