| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:08] | Thank you for house sitting. | 谢谢你帮我照看房子 |
| [00:09] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [00:10] | I’m taking Oliver for detox in the Hamptons. | 我要带奥利弗去汉普顿戒瘾 |
| [00:12] | Standardized testing has really stressed him out. | 标准测验给了他很大压力 |
| [00:16] | Now here, make sure you feed the blue macaw, | 这是钥匙 记得给蓝色金刚鹦鹉喂食 |
| [00:18] | and make sure the house gets a lot of positive energy. | 确保房子充满正能量 |
| [00:22] | I think I can manage that. | 我应该能做到 |
| [00:23] | Great. | 很好 |
| [00:24] | Oliver, our Uber’s close. | 奥利弗 我们的优步就要到了 |
| [00:26] | Times tables! Topic sentences! | 乘法表 主题句 |
| [00:28] | Five paragraph essay! Five paragraph essay! | 五段式作文 五段式作文 |
| [00:29] | Oliver, chill, chill, chill. | 奥利弗 淡定 淡定 |
| [00:31] | Standardized testing does not define you. | 标准测验并不能定义你 |
| [00:33] | Nothing can happen in the global economy | 全球经济不管发生什么 |
| [00:35] | that will ever make you need to work. | 你都不用去工作 |
| [00:39] | Hi, Uber, we’re out front! | 优步 我们就在门口 |
| [00:41] | Whoa, a helicopter? I thought Uber just had cars. | 直升机 我以为优步只有汽车 |
| [00:44] | Uber has cars? | 优步有汽车 |
| [00:50] | Buh-bye! | 拜拜 |
| [00:52] | Enjoy the Hamptons! | 在汉普顿玩得开心 |
| [00:58] | Wow… okay, dude, we’re safe. | 好了 我们安全了 |
| [01:09] | You know, there’s a gate right there. | 门就在那 |
| [01:21] | This is unreal. | 这太不现实了 |
| [01:22] | Double jumbo capacity washer-dryer, | 双倍容量的洗衣烘干机 |
| [01:24] | cleaning 25 pounds of your dirtiest dog shit at lightening speed. | 以闪电般的速度清洗你最脏的25磅东西 |
| [01:41] | Now, mademoiselle, to the tour. | 小姐 跟我来参观吧 |
| [01:55] | Enter ze master bath. | 进入主浴室 |
| [01:59] | Italian marble, Asian marble, | 意大利大理石 亚洲大理石 |
| [02:02] | Puerto Rican marble, every ethnicity of marble. | 波多黎各大理石 所有种族的大理石 |
| [02:06] | And the coochie de gras… | 以及洗屁股神器 |
| [02:10] | Is that a bidet? | 那是坐浴盆吗 |
| [02:12] | You bidet believe it is. | 你”坐好”相信它就是 |
| [02:19] | Let’s try staccato. | 我们试试断续模式吧 |
| [02:23] | I’m gonna check on my online dating profiles. | 我要看看我的在线约会资料 |
| [02:25] | Whew, the water is perfectly warmed to accommodate my anus. | 水温刚刚好顺应我的肛门 |
| [02:29] | Oh, my God, dude. | 天啊 |
| [02:30] | My high school English teacher, Mr. Miller, is on Bumble. | 我的高中英语老师 米勒先生在Bumble上 |
| [02:34] | That is unreal! | 太神奇了 |
| [02:38] | Oh, also your Bumble thing is hot. | 还有你的Bumble对象很性感 |
| [02:39] | I don’t know, I feel like it’s a little creepy. | 我说不好 感觉有点变态 |
| [02:41] | Hell yeah, sometimes in life you need creepy, freaky fucks. | 那更好啊 有时在生活中你需要变态古怪的滚床单 |
| [02:45] | Plus, you guys are both adults now. | 再说 你们两个都是成年人 |
| [02:47] | You must swipe “Yas,” you cannot swipe “Nas.” | 你必须接受 不能拒绝 |
| [02:49] | Yeah, you’re right, we are both adults now. | 你说的是 我们现在都是成年人了 |
| [02:51] | Plus, I always had a thing for him. | 再说我一直喜欢他 |
| [02:53] | Yeah, teachers are the ultimate fantasy. | 是啊 老师是终极性幻想 |
| [02:55] | Yeah, you know what? You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [02:56] | I’m doing it. | 我要接受他 |
| [02:59] | Oh, my God. Okay, we matched. | 天啊 我们匹配成功了 |
| [03:00] | Hell yeah you did, you creepy bitch. | 赞 你个变态婊子 |
| [03:02] | – All right, what do I say? – Say, um… | -我该说什么 -说 |
| [03:04] | I need help studying for my ACTs | 我需要你帮我辅导大学入学考试 |
| [03:07] | and I’m trying to get a 69. | 我想拿到69分[69式] |
| [03:11] | I’m gonna write… | 我就写 |
| [03:12] | “Hey. Long time.” | “嘿 好久不见” |
| [03:14] | Okay, sent. | 发出去了 |
| [03:18] | Okay, um, he’s typing. | 他在打字 |
| [03:22] | He’s still typing. Jesus. | 还在打 老天 |
| [03:25] | Okay, he’s– Okay, he wrote, | 他回了 |
| [03:26] | “I’m in town, do you want to meet up tonight?” | “我在城里 今晚想见面吗” |
| [03:31] | Is that about the message or the bidet? | 你这声音是因为他的消息还是坐浴盆发出的 |
| [03:35] | Honestly, both. | 老实说 两者都有 |
| [03:37] | He should come here. This place is so adult. | 他该到这来 这地方很成人 |
| [03:39] | You know, you’ll seem older than he is. | 你看上去会比他还老 |
| [03:41] | That’s perfect. | 完美 |
| [03:42] | Okay, I’m gonna say that | 好 我就说 |
| [03:43] | we’re having an adults-only soiree | 我们要办一个成人晚会 |
| [03:47] | and he should stop by. | 他应该过来 |
| [03:48] | – Casual. – Love it. | -随性 -棒 |
| [03:51] | Gaga, now all that’s left is prep. | 现在剩下的就是准备工作了 |
| [03:53] | Sit your sweet ass on this bidet. | 坐到坐浴盆上来 |
| [03:55] | I feel like a wine glass fresh out of the dishwasher. | 我想用洗碗机刚刚洗好的酒杯倒杯酒 |
| [04:12] | Now get into it. | 好好享受 |
| [04:13] | So what’s going on with you and Lincoln? | 你和林肯什么情况 |
| [04:15] | It’s official now. He’s, like, your boyfriend. | 正式确定关系了 他是你男友了 |
| [04:17] | Yeah, you know, it’s just that, | 你知道 就是 |
| [04:18] | um, just trying not to choke it out with a label. | 别勒死在一个标签上 |
| [04:21] | You know, I’m just like, it is an essential part | 我 我这人的关键个性之一 |
| [04:23] | of my character that I’m just not into labels. | 就是不喜欢标签 |
| [04:25] | So we’re just enjoying the ride. | 所以我们就是享受现在 |
| [04:28] | Yeah, I think that’s great. | 挺好的 |
| [04:31] | Oh, dude, it’s him. Okay, he’s on his way. | 是他 他在路上了 |
| [04:35] | Oh, my God. That was fast. | 我的天 也太快了吧 |
| [04:37] | Yikes. Hot, dude, dry that sweet ass and move. | 囧 赶快擦干屁股去啊 |
| [04:41] | It’s wet. | 是湿的 |
| [04:44] | You know what, I think I need to change | 我觉得我需要 |
| [04:45] | into something a little more casual | 换一身更随意的装扮 |
| [04:46] | like… resort wear? | 比如旅游胜地装[休闲装] |
| [04:48] | “Resort wear”? You are naturally rich. | “旅游胜地装” 你真是天生有钱 |
| [04:54] | – You ready? – Yeah. | -你准备好了吗 -嗯 |
| [04:56] | Wait, wait, wait, hold on. | 等等 等等 |
| [04:58] | Do like… | 我想 |
| [04:59] | This is, like, a little more mature. | 这样更成熟一点 |
| [05:01] | – Oh, perfect. – Great. | -完美 -很好 |
| [05:07] | Oh. Hi, Jaimé. | 海眉 |
| [05:09] | – God, you’re a princess… – Thank you. | -天 你真像个公主 -谢谢 |
| [05:11] | in a castle. | 城堡里的 |
| [05:13] | How you holding up, BB? | 你怎么样 BB |
| [05:14] | Ay, how do you think? | 你说呢 |
| [05:15] | You know, I had an adult circumcision | 我做了成人割包皮手术 |
| [05:17] | and I cannot get hard for two more weeks. | 还有两周都不能硬 |
| [05:21] | Why can’t you get hard? | 为什么不能硬 |
| [05:23] | – ‘Cause his stitches will tear. – My penis. | -因为缝线会裂开 -我的鸡鸡 |
| [05:26] | Oh, obviously. | 当然了 |
| [05:28] | You can’t just hold books. | 你不能单纯拿着书 |
| [05:29] | You have to actually read them. | 你得真的看 |
| [05:47] | Oh, my God. Um… | 天 |
| [05:49] | I cannot be around vibrations in my current state. | 我现在的状态不能靠近震动 |
| [05:52] | – Do you mind if we just… – Okay. | -我们能不能 -好 |
| [06:02] | So… Italian marble. | 意大利大理石 |
| [06:04] | Asian marble, Puerto Rican marble, | 亚洲大理石 波多黎各大理石 |
| [06:06] | and… the coochie de gras. | 以及洗屁股神器 |
| [06:12] | A bidet is synonymous with sex in rich Guatemala. | 坐浴盆在危地马拉富人区有性的意思 |
| [06:16] | A boner is inevitable, I cannot be in here. | 绝对会勃起 我不能在这待 |
| [06:18] | – I’m so sorry. I– I– – Go. | -抱歉 我 我 -走吧 |
| [06:20] | Shit, dude, my teacher’s here. | 该死 我老师来了 |
| [06:26] | Hello, my dear! | 亲爱的 |
| [06:28] | Hello, my, um, my fluid… dude. | 你好 我的流性男 |
| [06:36] | Oh, my– | 我的天 |
| [06:38] | Okay. He’s here, he’s here. | 他来了 他来了 |
| [06:43] | We got it. | 我们可以的 |
| [06:47] | – Hey. – Hey, Abbi. | -嘿 -嘿 艾比 |
| [06:49] | Hey, Mr. Miller. | 嘿 米勒先生 |
| [06:51] | – Richard. – Richard. | -叫我理查德 -理查德 |
| [06:55] | Um, hey, Ilana, Lincoln, | 阿拉娜 林肯 |
| [06:58] | uh, this is a man. | 这是个男人 |
| [07:00] | And this is Lincoln, he is a– a man, as well. | 这是林肯 他也是男人 |
| [07:03] | Friend from way back when. | 老朋友了 |
| [07:04] | Pal and a confidant. | 朋友和知己 |
| [07:06] | Former teacher. He’s not my teacher anymore. | 前老师 现在不是了 |
| [07:08] | We’re on a date now. | 我们现在在约会 |
| [07:09] | And this is Lincoln. He is my… | 这是林肯 他是我的 |
| [07:13] | boy… friend? | 男 朋友 |
| [07:18] | Yeah. He’s my boyfriend. | 是的 他是我男朋友 |
| [07:22] | That’s great. | 真好 |
| [07:24] | Wow, that took a long time… | 花了挺长时间 |
| [07:27] | to say. | 才说出来 |
| [07:33] | Huh, a taxidermy room. | 动物标本室 |
| [07:35] | Oh. Nothing. Hi. | 没什么 你好 |
| [07:37] | Uh, Jaimé, this is, um… | 海眉 这是 |
| [07:40] | Richard, um… | 理查德 |
| [07:42] | he was my teach guy. | 他以前是我的老师 |
| [07:45] | Not anymore. That’s why we’re on a date. | 现在不是了 所以我们在约会 |
| [07:47] | – I mean, it’s not why– – He used to be your teacher? | -这倒不是原因 -他以前是你老师 |
| [07:50] | And now you’re on a date? | 你们现在在约会 |
| [07:53] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [07:54] | Ow. Excuse me, I’m gonna… | 不好意思 我 |
| [07:57] | Ow! Can’t… touch. I’m so sorry. | 不能摸 抱歉 |
| [08:13] | Okay, is it kinda weird that we’re on a date? | 我们约会是不是有点怪 |
| [08:15] | I mean, not really. | 没有吧 |
| [08:17] | I mean, we’re adults, right? | 我们是成年人了 对吗 |
| [08:19] | Yeah, you’re right. I am an adult now. | 没错 我是成年人了 |
| [08:20] | “Supposably”. | “可想象得到” |
| [08:21] | Supposedly. With a D. | 大概 后面是D |
| [08:24] | Sorry. English teacher mode. | 抱歉 英语老师职业病 |
| [08:25] | It’s fine. | 没事 |
| [08:28] | Speaking of which, I did love it when | 说到这个 我特别喜欢 |
| [08:30] | you used to make Tina Palmer stop saying “like” so much. | 你以前不让蒂娜·帕尔默说太多的”就像” |
| [08:33] | She’d never let me sit at her lunch table | 她从不让我坐在她的午餐桌 |
| [08:35] | because, “Like, I wasn’t hot enough.” | 因为”就像 我不够性感” |
| [08:36] | – What? – Yeah! | -什么 -是的 |
| [08:37] | You were so much cuter than her. | 你比她可爱多了 |
| [08:40] | I mean, you’re not so bad yourself. | 你自己也不赖 |
| [08:42] | I used to think about you like that. | 我以前常这么想你 |
| [08:45] | I used to think about you like that too. | 我以前也常这么想你 |
| [08:53] | I, um… | 我 |
| [08:56] | I have to go piss… | 我得去小便 |
| [08:58] | hard. | 特别急 |
| [09:01] | I’m gonna… | 我 |
| [09:03] | – Hon, do zip me up. – Of course, m’lady. | -亲爱的 帮我拉上拉链 -好的 夫人 |
| [09:08] | Oh, sweetie, let me get that for you. | 亲爱的 我来吧 |
| [09:10] | Your fingers are for two things. | 你的手指只用做两件事 |
| [09:11] | Filling cavities, and filling cavities. | 填补蛀洞 填补小穴 |
| [09:15] | Oh, you! | 你真淫荡 |
| [09:17] | My man. | 我的男人 |
| [09:19] | Ilana, I’m gonna be honest | 阿拉娜 我就实话实说了 |
| [09:20] | ’cause we’re in a relationship now. | 因为我们现在在交往 |
| [09:22] | I don’t think you got this 100% right. | 你领带好像没有打好 |
| [09:24] | This is… this is horrible. | 这太丑了 |
| [09:26] | I promise to improve. You’re my priority now. | 我保证会改善 你现在是我的重心了 |
| [09:30] | Ilana? | 阿拉娜 |
| [09:32] | I need to talk. | 借一步说话 |
| [09:34] | BRB, Abbi’s a priority. | 马上回来 艾比比较重要 |
| [09:37] | – Whoa, love that outfit. – Thank you. | -喜欢你这身衣服 -谢谢 |
| [09:39] | Okay, I don’t know if I can do this with Richard. | 我不知道我能不能和理查德约会 |
| [09:41] | He’s, like, really creeping me out. | 他把我吓到了 |
| [09:43] | – So hot. – No, it’s not, okay? | -真性感 -不是的 好吗 |
| [09:45] | He said he thought about me like that. | 他说他以前对我有那方面的幻想 |
| [09:48] | Like, when I was his student, though. | 在我还是学生的时候 |
| [09:50] | I mean, you don’t think… | 你不会觉得 |
| [09:51] | that he jerked off to me? | 他曾对着我自慰吧 |
| [09:53] | – Yeah. – Really? | -肯定啊 -是吗 |
| [09:54] | Bitch, durr. | 贱人 当然了 |
| [09:55] | All teachers jerk off to their students. | 所有老师都会对他们的学生自慰 |
| [09:57] | No, they don’t. All teachers do not jerk off to their students. | 才不是 所有老师都不会对他们的学生自慰 |
| [10:00] | Sweet Abbi. | 天真的艾比 |
| [10:01] | Once students have flowered, | 一旦学生成熟了 |
| [10:03] | teachers are either them | 老师要么在和他们上床 |
| [10:04] | or jerking off to them. | 要么就对着他们自慰 |
| [10:05] | Respect the ones who only jerk off. | 尊重那些只自慰的老师吧 |
| [10:07] | The other ones are in the news. | 剩下的都上新闻了 |
| [10:08] | No, no, no! | 不不不 |
| [10:10] | Ilana, no. | 阿拉娜 不 |
| [10:11] | We can’t control our thoughts, dude. | 我们不能控制我们的思想 姐们 |
| [10:12] | Jerking off is not a crime. | 自慰不是犯罪 |
| [10:14] | Well, it depends on where you do it. | 要看你在哪自慰了 |
| [10:15] | In the privacy of their own home? | 私下在自己家里 |
| [10:17] | Listen, if Lincoln and I ever have children and– | 听着 要是我和林肯有孩子的话 |
| [10:19] | believe me, we’re not talking about that for a couple of years, | 相信我 最近几年是不可能的 |
| [10:22] | I hope their teachers are jerking off to them. | 我希望他们的老师对着他们自慰 |
| [10:24] | You do? | 是吗 |
| [10:25] | If it keeps their disgusting hands | 如果能让他们恶心的手 |
| [10:27] | off my hot-ass, bl-ewish kids, | 远离我性感 黑犹孩子的话 |
| [10:29] | then yeah. | 那么是的 |
| [10:31] | I don’t know, it still creeps me out. | 我说不好 还是觉得很变态 |
| [10:32] | All right, let’s get real. | 我们现实点 |
| [10:35] | You ever jerk off to JTT? | 你对着JTT自慰过吗 |
| [10:38] | Jonathan Taylor Thomas? Yeah, I mean, all the time. | 乔纳森·泰勒·托马斯吗 一直啊 |
| [10:41] | As he was on “Home Improvement”, | 他在《家居装饰》里 |
| [10:42] | that poreless, olive skin? | 皮肤没有毛孔 橄榄色的时候吗 |
| [10:45] | Or as he is now, a present day, | 还是他现在 |
| [10:47] | 31-year-old actor? | 一个31岁的演员 |
| [10:50] | Oh, no. | 不 |
| [10:51] | I’ve been jerking off to a teenager every other night. | 每隔一晚我就会对着一个少年自慰 |
| [10:54] | And are you a creep? Are you a criminal? | 那你是变态吗 是罪犯吗 |
| [10:57] | We’re all jerking off to teenagers. | 我们都对着青少年自慰 |
| [10:58] | And I’ll tell you what, they’re jerking off to us too. | 我跟你说 他们也在对着我们自慰 |
| [11:01] | That’s the circle of life. | 这就是生命的循环 |
| [11:03] | When you say it like that, it’s not creepy at all. | 你这么说的时候 一点都不变态了 |
| [11:06] | Yes, dude. | 是啊 |
| [11:07] | Jerking off is all we got. | 自慰是我们仅有的财富 |
| [11:08] | It literally saves the world. | 拯救世界 |
| [11:10] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [11:18] | * It’s for the look * | *这是为了装逼* |
| [11:19] | * I don’t light it * | *我不回抽的* |
| [11:21] | Love it. | 棒 |
| [11:23] | – Oh, sorry, I’m sorry. – Don’t– don’t even, it’s– | -不好意思 -没事 不用 |
| [11:26] | I’m a grown man, so I should have more control | 我是成人了 我就是觉得 |
| [11:28] | over my pelvic flow, that’s all. | 我应该把我的骨盆流动控制得更好 |
| [11:29] | No, farts are part of the total relationship package. | 不 屁是恋爱包裹的一部分 |
| [11:32] | Yeah? | 是吗 |
| [11:33] | Watch this. | 看我的 |
| [11:40] | Yes! | 棒 |
| [11:47] | Yeah. This is like a breakdance battle, but not at all. | 这就像是霹雳舞比赛 但又完全不是 |
| [11:56] | That was different from the others. | 这个屁和其他的都不一样 |
| [11:58] | All good. Excuse me one sec. | 没事 我失陪一下 |
| [12:05] | Hey, Ilana, have some perspective. | 阿拉娜 有点眼界好吗 |
| [12:07] | You shat yourself at a party five weeks ago. | 五周前你才在一个派对上把屎拉在裤子里 |
| [12:14] | Hey, sorry about those last few things I said. | 抱歉我刚才说的那些话 |
| [12:18] | That sort of came out weird. | 听上去有点奇怪 |
| [12:19] | It’s fine. | 没关系 |
| [12:20] | If we met right now, you’d just be, | 如果我们现在才相遇 你就只会是个 |
| [12:22] | like, a hot dude who happens to teach. | 刚好在教书的性感男人 |
| [12:26] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [12:28] | This is, um, actually pretty good. | 这酒还挺不错的 |
| [12:30] | Yes, this is, uh, it’s amazing. | 是的 很棒 |
| [12:33] | Got sort of a full body with a tannic grip. | 有丹宁味道的丰满酒体 |
| [12:36] | Yeah, I– I love… | 是啊 我喜欢 |
| [12:38] | full bodies with tannic grips. | 有丹宁味道的丰满酒体 |
| [12:41] | I love those things with my wine. | 我喜欢这样的酒 |
| [12:45] | What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
| [12:46] | Oh, just, what you said. | 就是你刚才说的 |
| [12:48] | I was like, “Yep, mm-hmm, me too.” | 我也这么觉得 |
| [12:50] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [12:55] | His and hers casket sheets. | 他的和她的棺材布 |
| [12:58] | This is amazing… | 这非常棒 |
| [13:02] | Oh, I forgot to tell you | 我忘了跟你说了 |
| [13:03] | we have brunch with Abbi and Jaimé on Saturday. | 周六我们要和艾比 海眉吃早午餐 |
| [13:05] | Oh, I can’t, I already have golf with Dr. Tims. | 我不行 我和蒂姆斯大夫约了打高尔夫 |
| [13:09] | Okay, I guess we have to make a shared Google Calendar now | 好吧 我想我们现在得创建一个谷歌共享日历 |
| [13:13] | so we don’t double-book all the time. | 这样我们就不会总是重复预约 |
| [13:15] | Sounds like a great idea. I love Google Calendar. | 好主意 我喜欢谷歌日历 |
| [13:26] | “Current events…” | “时事” |
| [13:33] | It’s all good. Ay, Dios mío. | 没事的 我的上帝 |
| [13:41] | That’s not good. Books… | 这可不好 书 |
| [13:46] | Ay, stop it! My stitches! | 停下 我的缝线 |
| [13:47] | My stitches! Please! Please! | 我的缝线 求你了 求你了 |
| [13:51] | Ah, hello, Europe. | 你好 欧洲 |
| [14:08] | I really enjoy Monet’s early impressionism. | 我很喜欢莫奈早期的印象派作品 |
| [14:10] | I mean, I was reading about his process | 我在《纽约客》里读到 |
| [14:12] | – in “The New Yorker–” – Hold on a second. | -他的创作历程 -等等 |
| [14:14] | You read “The New Yorker”? | 你看《纽约客》 |
| [14:16] | Yeah, a lot. | 嗯 经常看 |
| [14:17] | Wow, like, the whole thing? | 全都看吗 |
| [14:20] | Yup. Yeah, I usually get through it. | 是的 一般都会看完 |
| [14:22] | That’s so hot. That’s, like, | 真性感 真是 |
| [14:25] | super sexy. | 超级性感 |
| [14:28] | That I can read? | 我能读书吗 |
| [14:36] | “Pretend like it’s day one.” | “假装是第一天” |
| [14:40] | Pretend like it’s day one. | 假装是第一天 |
| [14:43] | Damn, reading is so dope. | 靠 读书太酷了 |
| [15:13] | Calling Dr. Rice. I have a bad cavity | 呼叫莱斯大夫 我有个蛀洞 |
| [15:16] | that needs to get drill– | 需要钻孔 |
| [15:25] | Wake up! | 醒醒 |
| [15:27] | Okay, so we have to talk about this whole relationship thing. | 我们得谈谈我们的恋爱关系 |
| [15:30] | – What? – Think about what we have sacrificed | -什么 -想想我们为了这个 |
| [15:32] | to enter this sexless fart party. | 无性的放屁派对都牺牲了什么 |
| [15:35] | When was the last time we even had sex? | 我们上次做爱是什么时候 |
| [15:37] | We had sex an hour ago. | 一个小时前 |
| [15:39] | And that’s good enough for you? | 你觉得这就够了吗 |
| [15:41] | I– I– I can’t. | 我 我做不到 |
| [15:46] | Told you I have a refractory period. | 跟你说了我有不应期 |
| [15:52] | Oh, good. There’s chess pieces. | 天 地上有棋子 |
| [15:58] | Looks like somebody didn’t do her homework. | 某人貌似没做作业 |
| [16:02] | Wait, what? | 什么 |
| [16:06] | I didn’t. | 是的 我没做 |
| [16:07] | But, I don’t know, is there any… | 但我不知道 有没有额外学分 |
| [16:09] | extra credit I can do to bring my grade up? | 供我赚取 提升我的成绩 |
| [16:12] | I don’t think so. | 应该没有 |
| [16:14] | Looks like you’re getting a big, fat “D” this semester. | 这学期你只能得到一个又大又粗的D[屌]了 |
| [16:25] | Jaimé, don’t get hard. | 海眉 别硬 |
| [16:27] | Okay, I gotta hash this out. | 我得把话说出来 |
| [16:29] | Like, are we aiming at forever? | 我们是想永远在一起吗 |
| [16:31] | – That seems ridiculous. – No. | -那似乎太荒谬了 -不 |
| [16:34] | It’s cra– I don’t wanna do anything forever. | 我什么事都不想一直做 |
| [16:37] | I like spaghetti, but I don’t wanna die with spaghetti. | 我喜欢意面 但我不想死于吃意面 |
| [16:40] | I mean, I might, but I don’t know yet. | 有可能 但我还不知道 |
| [16:42] | I wanna take this one day at a time, | 我想一步一个脚印地对待这段关系 |
| [16:43] | the same way I take spaghetti. | 就像我吃意面一样 |
| [16:45] | Yeah, ’cause a lifetime sounds ominous and scary. | 嗯 一辈子听上去既不祥又可怕 |
| [16:48] | Yeah, ’cause lifetime implies death. | 是的 一辈子就暗示了死亡 |
| [16:51] | Think about it like this. | 这么想吧 |
| [16:52] | Let’s say you won a lifetime supply of Doritos. | 假如你赢得了一辈子的多力多滋玉米片 |
| [16:54] | – I’m listening. – At first you’d be psyched, | -继续 -起初你会很激动 |
| [16:56] | you got all these Doritos. | 有无数的玉米片 |
| [16:58] | Then after a while, | 但过了一段时间后 |
| [16:59] | every time you went to grab a bag of Doritos, | 每次你去拿玉米片 |
| [17:00] | you’re like, “Oh, I wanna die.” | 你就会想 “我想死” |
| [17:03] | So this is what I propose. | 所以这是我的建议 |
| [17:05] | We do it for a year, short-term. | 我们交往一年 短期 |
| [17:08] | And then after that year, we check in with each other. | 然后一年后 我们互相签到 |
| [17:10] | See how it’s going, like a phone contract. | 看效果如何 就好比手机合同 |
| [17:13] | God, I love that. | 好主意 |
| [17:14] | ‘Cause I can do that. | 这我可以做到 |
| [17:16] | And thank you for all the food metaphors. | 谢谢你所有的食物比喻 |
| [17:17] | You’re welcome. | 不客气 |
| [17:18] | I was eating spaghetti and Doritos yesterday. | 我昨天在吃意面和玉米片 |
| [17:20] | That’s probably why my farts smell so violent. | 这可能是我的屁闻起来如此强烈的原因 |
| [17:22] | Right. | 嗯 |
| [17:23] | I’m gonna avoid that combination in the future. | 以后我会避免同时吃这两样东西 |
| [17:25] | I’d really appreciate that. | 多谢了 |
| [17:34] | Jaimé, be strong. | 海眉 要坚强 |
| [17:36] | Penis, be weak. Be weak! | 鸡鸡 软下去 软下去 |
| [17:41] | Should we be doing this? You’re so young. | 我们该这么做吗 你好年轻 |
| [17:45] | I mean, I’m 28. | 我已经28了 |
| [17:47] | No, but you’re, like, 17, right? | 不 你就像是17岁 对吗 |
| [17:52] | Yeah… I am only 17. | 是的 我只有17岁 |
| [17:56] | Yeah, like, you don’t even know how to drive. | 你都不知道怎么开车 |
| [17:59] | No, I just got my license. | 不 我刚拿到驾照 |
| [18:02] | I mean, it’s actually just my permit. | 实际上只是许可证 |
| [18:10] | There you are, Abbi. | 你在这呢 艾比 |
| [18:12] | Hold on. Get off, get off. | 等等 下去 下去 |
| [18:14] | – Okay, um. – Sorry. | -好了 -抱歉 |
| [18:15] | Were you just holding my skin back | 你把我皮肤往后拉 |
| [18:17] | so I looked more like a child? | 是为了让我看着像小孩吗 |
| [18:20] | We were roleplaying, right? Like you’re 17. | 我们在角色扮演 对吗 你假装你17岁 |
| [18:23] | I was trying to make you look young-ish. | 我是想让你看着更年轻点 |
| [18:25] | What the ? | 什么鬼 |
| [18:27] | Okay, no more. | 够了 打住 |
| [18:28] | Wow! Oh, my– | 我的天 |
| [18:28] | – Excuse me! Excuse me! – Jaimé! | -不好意思 不好意思 -海眉 |
| [18:31] | Why are you in here right now? | 你怎么在那里面 |
| [18:32] | Well, I’m so sorry, okay? | 我很抱歉 |
| [18:33] | But I was trying to hide in the children’s room | 我是想躲在小孩的房间里 |
| [18:35] | so I wouldn’t get hard. | 这样我就不会硬起来 |
| [18:37] | But that, sir, that was just disgusting. | 不过先生 刚才那真是太恶心了 |
| [18:38] | I hope you know that. Disgusting. | 我希望你知道 恶心 |
| [18:40] | Yeah, you know what, Richard? That was disgusting, for one. | 知道吗 理查德 首先那确实很恶心 |
| [18:43] | For two, I exfoliate, like, almost every other day. | 其次 我几乎每隔一天就会脱皮 |
| [18:45] | And you know what? My skin is radiant. | 知道吗 我的皮肤容光焕发 |
| [18:47] | I don’t know that much to be true, | 我不知道那是不是真的 |
| [18:48] | but I know this much to be true. | 但这是真的我是知道的 |
| [18:50] | Abbi, skincare is challenging. | 艾比 护肤很难 |
| [18:52] | But we were roleplaying. | 但我们是在角色扮演 |
| [18:53] | All right, well, that’s it. | 够了 |
| [18:56] | I’m gonna leave you two alone, okay? | 我就不打扰你们俩了 |
| [18:58] | But first, I want to thank you. | 但首先 我想谢谢你 |
| [19:00] | That image will forever harden my soul | 那画面会永远坚固我的灵魂 |
| [19:02] | but soften my peepee. | 软化我的鸡鸡 |
| [19:04] | Namaste, you sick, sick man. | 致意 变态 |
| [19:06] | Find a reason to leave, thank you, excuse us. | 找个离开的理由 谢谢 失陪了 |
| [19:14] | Look, Abbi, it takes two to Bumble. | 听着 艾比 约会是两个人的事 |
| [19:16] | – Yeah. – I’m not your teacher. | -嗯 -我不是你老师 |
| [19:17] | – You’re not my student. – Okay. | -你也不是我学生 -好吧 |
| [19:19] | We’re– | 我们是 |
| [19:22] | – Oh, my Gosh. – Uh, single file! | -天啊 -一列纵队 |
| [19:23] | Single file? I’m only one person. | 一列纵队 我就一个人 |
| [19:25] | Use the buddy system! | 用伙伴系统[各负责另一人安全的两人同行制] |
| [19:31] | All right, roll call. | 点名 |
| [19:33] | I think it’s– I think we can see that we’re all here, it’s fine. | 我们能看到所有人都在 没事 |
| [19:36] | All clear. | 安全了 |
| [19:39] | Dryer set fire. | 烘干机引起的火灾 |
| [19:41] | It’s a Newton Elite. | 这是牛顿精英机 |
| [19:42] | It’s built only to dry satins, silk, | 只能烘干缎子 丝绸 |
| [19:44] | or gold-infused fabrics. | 或者注入了黄金的织物 |
| [19:47] | Looks like you guys are drying cheap cotton and polyester here. | 你们似乎在烘干廉价棉和涤纶 |
| [19:50] | Fire was inevitable. | 注定会引起火灾 |
| [19:51] | Thank you, sorry. | 谢谢 抱歉 |
| [19:54] | – Oh, it’s Heidi. Okay. – Okay, it’s okay. | -海蒂来电了 -没事 |
| [19:57] | Hey, Heidi. | 海蒂 |
| [19:59] | Yeah, it was a small dryer fire. | 就是个烘干机引起的小火灾 |
| [20:04] | Great! | 很好 |
| [20:05] | Enjoy the Hamptons, and I’ll talk to you soon. | 在汉普顿好好玩 回聊 |
| [20:09] | She didn’t even know there was a laundry room. | 她都不知道家里有洗衣房 |
| [20:11] | Doesn’t affect her in any way. | 反正对她无影响 |
| [20:13] | That must be nice. | 那一定很爽 |
| [20:14] | You wanna head back inside? | 你想回屋里去吗 |
| [20:17] | I don’t think so. | 算了 |
| [20:19] | Thanks for coming over. It was… interesting. | 谢谢过来 挺有意思的 |
| [20:23] | – Goodbye, Abbi. – ‘Kay. | -再见 艾比 -嗯 |
| [20:29] | Richard, wait. | 理查德 等等 |
| [20:34] | Do you… | 你 |
| [20:37] | jerk off to your students? | 会对着你学生自慰吗 |
| [20:40] | All teachers do. | 所有老师都这样 |
| [20:42] | You kinda have to. | 必须这么做 |
| [20:46] | Hey, Abbi, one more thing. | 艾比 还有件事 |
| [20:49] | You have to keep reading. Your brain is a muscle. | 你得继续看书 你的大脑好比是肌肉 |
| [20:53] | If you don’t use it regularly… | 如果不经常使用 |
| [20:56] | it goes away. | 就会消失 |
| [20:59] | What a righteous dude. | 多么正派的男人 |