| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:08] | It just makes me nuts that this is private. | 我不能接受这里竟然是私人的 |
| [00:10] | It’s like we’re supposed to just, like, circle it? | 我们就只能绕着走吗 |
| [00:12] | It’s Gramercy Park douchebags. | 格拉梅西公园的混蛋 |
| [00:14] | If I had a key, I would go in there | 我要是有钥匙 我就每天早上 |
| [00:15] | like every morning and read the whole paper | 进去看报纸 |
| [00:17] | with a coffee or, like, an Oprah chai. | 喝一杯咖啡或者奥普拉印度香茶 |
| [00:19] | Ugh. If I had a key, I’d just grow some weed. | 我要是有钥匙 我就种一些大麻 |
| [00:22] | Dude, that is genius. | 你太有才了 |
| [00:24] | Rich people never get caught. | 有钱人从不会被抓 |
| [00:28] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [00:29] | Are you okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [00:30] | Hey, are you okay? Come to the gate. | 你没事吧 到大门这来 |
| [00:32] | She knows the Heimlich. | 她懂海姆立克急救法 |
| [00:33] | Yeah, c– come over here! | 是的 过来 |
| [00:34] | She knows it now. She took a course! | 她懂的 她上过培训课 |
| [00:37] | Come on! Come on! | 快 快 |
| [00:38] | Okay, turn around. | 转身 |
| [00:40] | Um, I can’t reach. I can’t reach. | 我够不到 我够不到 |
| [00:42] | Ilana, give me your hand. Give me your arm. | 阿拉娜 把手给我 你的手臂 |
| [00:44] | Okay, right there. | 对了 |
| [00:46] | One… two… three! | 一二三 |
| [00:48] | Oh, my God! | 天啊 |
| [00:51] | Thank you. | 谢谢你们 |
| [00:53] | How can I ever repay you for saving my life? | 我要怎么报答你们 我的救命恩人 |
| [00:57] | We– we’ve never been in the park. | 我们从没进过这公园 |
| [00:59] | I mean… we would love a tour. | 我们很乐意参观一下 |
| [01:02] | – It’s beautiful. – Love. One love. | -里面很美 -超级喜欢 |
| [01:03] | Absolutely not. | 绝对不行 |
| [01:05] | Wait, what? | 什么 |
| [01:06] | We just saved your life. | 我们刚救了你的命 |
| [01:09] | – That’s how you worded it. – You just said that. | -这是你原话 -你自己说的 |
| [01:11] | You have to have a key to come in. | 你得有钥匙才能进来 |
| [01:13] | You have one. | 你有啊 |
| [01:17] | Shrug? | 耸肩 |
| [01:19] | Sometimes, I literally hate… …humanity. | 有时候我真的讨厌人类 |
| [01:23] | – I– – That was unbelievable. | -我 -简直不可理喻 |
| [01:25] | I– I can’t– | 我 我不能 |
| [01:29] | – Really? – Oh, no. | -不是吧 -不 |
| [01:33] | This rich baby doesn’t know how to eat. | 这个有钱宝宝不知道怎么吃东西 |
| [01:45] | – You cold, BB? – Just a little bit. | -亲爱的 你冷吗 -有点 |
| [01:52] | You are like a Columbian drug lord. | 你就像哥伦比亚的毒枭 |
| [01:54] | – Thank you. – That’s not gonna work now. | -谢谢 -这样没用的 |
| [01:57] | Wow… that is better. | 确实暖和了 |
| [02:01] | God, it is so amazing to have a day off from work. | 天 不用去上班的感觉真好 |
| [02:06] | I worked seven double-shifts in a row. | 我连续上了7个双班 |
| [02:08] | Ai, mi amore, you deserve it. | 亲爱的 这是你应得的 |
| [02:09] | You been working yourself to the bone. | 你工作如此卖力 |
| [02:11] | Like, literally, I think I can see the bone in your foot. | 真的 我都能看到你脚里的骨头了 |
| [02:13] | Could you please put it away please? | 你能挪开吗 |
| [02:14] | I’m sorry, I have to air it out. | 抱歉 我必须把脚敞在空气里 |
| [02:16] | God, it’s just nice to have fresh cash, though, you know? | 有新钞票的感觉真好 |
| [02:19] | And now that I have the day off, | 加上今天我放假 |
| [02:20] | I can buy myself some happiness. | 我可以给自己买快乐了 |
| [02:22] | Exhibit A, this freakin’ bed. | 第一件物品 这张床 |
| [02:24] | A king for two queens, bitch! | 给两个女王的特大双人床 碧池 |
| [02:27] | You can fit four people in here comfortably. | 这可以轻松睡四个人 |
| [02:30] | Speaking of orgies, I need to go | 说到群P 我得 |
| [02:31] | – put on my penis cream. – Do you need any help? | -抹鸡鸡霜了 -需要帮助吗 |
| [02:34] | Again, I do not think that’s appropriate, Ilana. | 我再说一次 这样不得体 阿拉娜 |
| [02:38] | At least do it in here. | 至少在这里抹吧 |
| [02:41] | Okay, that’s fair. | 行 |
| [02:45] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [02:47] | You, uh– you have something in your teeth. | 你牙齿上有东西 |
| [02:50] | Oh, I’m so sorry. Is it– | 抱歉 是 |
| [02:52] | I– I think it’s my chest hair. | 我觉得是我的胸毛 |
| [02:55] | Here. Let me– I got it. Oh. | 我来吧 抓到了 |
| [02:58] | I guess I was really going to town. | 估计我之前太投入了 |
| [03:02] | Like, on your chest. | 在你的胸上 |
| [03:04] | I’m gonna go pee. | 我去尿尿 |
| [03:06] | Okay. | 好 |
| [03:07] | All right. Don’t, uh, fall in. | 别掉进去了 |
| [03:16] | Oh, my God, Bevers! | 搞什么 贝弗斯 |
| [03:18] | What’re you doing? | 你干什么 |
| [03:20] | Excusez-moi, mademoiselle, | 打扰了 小姐 |
| [03:23] | but, uh, who da’ fresh man meant? | 新生是什么意思 |
| [03:26] | Okay… ew… to you. | 你真恶心 |
| [03:32] | But he’s my new boyfriend. | 他是我新男友 |
| [03:35] | I met him at the gym, he’s a paramedic. | 我在健身房认识他的 他是护工 |
| [03:36] | And Trey was all like, “You’re not a relationship type.” | 特雷说 你不适合谈恋爱 |
| [03:38] | And I was all like– | 我说 |
| [03:39] | “Uh, am I? ‘Cause I’m in one now.” | 是吗 我这不就在谈吗 |
| [03:42] | I haven’t had my ears candled in a while, | 好久没人爱抚过我耳朵了 |
| [03:45] | but it sounded to me like he gave you multiples. | 但是他似乎爱抚了你的不少次 |
| [03:49] | Okay, were you listening to us have sex? | 你在听我们爱爱吗 |
| [03:52] | Yeah. Just listening. | 嗯 只是听 |
| [03:56] | Okay, don’t. Please. | 求你不要听 |
| [03:58] | Mmm, I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [04:00] | But he is really good at sex. | 但他的床上功夫真的很好 |
| [04:02] | But I also think that’s really about me | 但同时我觉得跟我 |
| [04:05] | knowing my body. | 了解自己身体有关 |
| [04:07] | Yeah, I’ve noticed that too | 我也注意到了 |
| [04:08] | and I’m proud of you. | 为你骄傲 |
| [04:11] | God, it’s so moist in this bed. | 这床好湿润啊 |
| [04:13] | All right. | 够了 |
| [04:16] | Oh, hey, uh, this is um– | 这是 |
| [04:18] | I’m Matthew Bevers, I’m Abbi’s roommate. | 我是马修·贝弗斯 艾比的室友 |
| [04:20] | – Oh, hey, um– – Mike, I heard. | -嘿 -麦克 我听到了 |
| [04:28] | Out! | 出去 |
| [04:38] | Man, this is the first time ever I’m not bringing my own color. | 这是我第一次没带我的颜料来 |
| [04:41] | This is a big day for me, actually. | 今天对我很重要 |
| [04:45] | What? What? | 怎么了 怎么了 |
| [04:46] | These feet. | 你的脚 |
| [04:47] | Very badly abused. | 被严重虐待 |
| [04:49] | Oh, don’t worry about it. | 没事 |
| [04:51] | I call ’em “Ballerina feet.” | 我称之为”芭蕾演员脚” |
| [04:52] | Just shave the sides off a little | 把两侧修剪下 |
| [04:53] | and slap on some color. | 然后上点色 |
| [04:55] | And don’t be afraid to really grind with that pumice. | 尽管放心用浮石磨 |
| [04:57] | Nails not much better. | 指甲也没好多少 |
| [04:59] | Thin, baby nails. Are you working class? | 薄 婴儿指甲 你是工人阶级吗 |
| [05:03] | Technically… | 严格来说 |
| [05:09] | I’ll have what she’s having. | 我要她那种 |
| [05:10] | You’re sure? Very expensive. | 你确定吗 很贵的 |
| [05:18] | Money is no object… | 钱对我来说 |
| [05:20] | for me, although, I appreciate a good laugh. | 不是问题 不过谢谢你逗我一笑 |
| [05:23] | Listen, I know what it’s like to live off tips. | 听着 我知道靠小费而活是什么样子 |
| [05:25] | But I did read that terrible “New York Times” headline | 但我读过《纽约时报》那篇头条 |
| [05:27] | about the exploited salon workers. | 关于美容院工人被压榨 |
| [05:29] | I want you having this and not the owner. | 我希望这钱你拿着而不是老板 |
| [05:32] | I am the owner. | 我就是老板 |
| [05:34] | Congratulations. | 恭喜 |
| [05:37] | * White guilt, white guilt * | *白人内疚感 白人内疚感* |
| [05:39] | * White guilt * | *白人内疚感* |
| [05:41] | * White guilt * | *白人内疚感* |
| [05:53] | Well, look at that. | 瞧瞧 |
| [05:59] | And I realized that a clit looks a lot like a swoosh. | 我意识到阴蒂很像Swoosh[耐克商标] |
| [06:03] | And that’s how the logo was born. | 那商标就是这样诞生的 |
| [06:06] | People don’t even realize | 人们甚至意识不到 |
| [06:07] | they’re walking around with clits all over their shoes. | 他们在穿着阴蒂到处走 |
| [06:09] | – Makes me laugh. – It should. | -让我觉得很搞笑 -应该的 |
| [06:13] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [06:16] | Before we get to the Amtrak account, | 在我们谈论美国国铁账户前 |
| [06:19] | we gotta talk office party. | 我们得说说办公室派对 |
| [06:20] | We’re a month out and I wanna book | 还有一个月时间 我想定 |
| [06:22] | that private room at Freemans, so I need to know | 弗里曼餐厅的那间雅座 所以我需要知道 |
| [06:24] | who’s coming with a plus-one. | 谁要携伴参加 |
| [06:26] | Oh, I’m in a committed relationship, | 我处于一段承诺性的关系中 |
| [06:27] | I will be bringing that plus-one. | 我会携伴参加 |
| [06:29] | – You mentioned it. – Oh, we know. | -你说过了 -我们知道 |
| [06:31] | Yeah, I just, like– I love being part of a couple. | 嗯 我就是喜欢恋爱 |
| [06:33] | I’m just, like, that kinda gal, you know? | 我是那种妹子 |
| [06:35] | Woman… girl. | 女人 女生 |
| [06:37] | Woman– you know what? It’s not about me. | 女人 现在不该谈论我 |
| [06:40] | Do you wanna get back to the clit talk? | 你想继续刚才的阴蒂对话吗 |
| [06:42] | No, we’re– we’re kinda past that, Abbi. | 不 我们已经聊过了 艾比 |
| [06:45] | – Totally. – My God, this board is a mess. | -当然 -天啊 这板子真是一团糟 |
| [06:55] | Do you have a harness in this size? | 你有这么大的马具吗 |
| [06:58] | Can you remind me again why you asked me to meet you | 你再跟我说说你为什么 |
| [07:01] | at what turned out to be a sex store? | 要在性用品店见我 |
| [07:04] | Because I need a second opinion on a new leotard. | 因为我想买紧身衣 需要他人的意见 |
| [07:07] | Come on, Ilana! | 拜托 阿拉娜 |
| [07:10] | Why didn’t you just ask Abbi? | 你问艾比不就好了吗 |
| [07:11] | Because she’s with her new boy-toy. | 因为她有新男宠了 |
| [07:15] | What is– what is that? | 什么声音 |
| [07:17] | It’s like ’90s canned laughter. | 就像90年代的预录笑声 |
| [07:19] | Wait, what about J– why don’t you ask Jaimé? | 那海眉呢 |
| [07:22] | Gays are not interchangeable, Eliot. | 同志不能互换 艾略特 |
| [07:24] | Don’t be a homophobe. | 别这么恐同 |
| [07:26] | – I’m gay. – Now stop being inappropriate | -我就是同志 -那就安分点 |
| [07:27] | and tell me if my boobs look good in this. | 告诉我我的奶子穿这个好看吗 |
| [07:29] | Ilana, I really don’t wanna do this. | 阿拉娜 我不想做这个 |
| [07:31] | Did I or did I not buy you not one, | 我有没有在Levain面包店 |
| [07:34] | but two Levain cookies? | 给你买不止一个 而是两个曲奇 |
| [07:36] | Okay, fine. Your boobs look… | 好吧 你的奶子看上去 |
| [07:39] | b– bountiful. | 很充盈 |
| [07:40] | Or whatever, I don’t know. | 或者 我也不知道 |
| [07:41] | – Delicious. – Thank you. | -可口 -谢谢 |
| [07:44] | Now help zip a sister up because I can’t with these. | 帮姐姐拉拉链 我现在没法拉 |
| [07:49] | Gentle! | 轻点 |
| [07:51] | Perfect. | 完美 |
| [07:52] | You wanna come to a sick-ass party tonight | 今晚想跟我 艾比和小海 |
| [07:53] | with me and Abbi and Jimmels? | 去参加一个超炫的派对吗 |
| [07:55] | Um, whose party is it? | 谁的派对 |
| [07:57] | I don’t even know. I just clicked on it on Facebook | 不知道 我直接点了接受 |
| [07:59] | ’cause I need a freakin’ place to flaunt my wealth and my body. | 因为我需要一个炫耀我财富和身体的地方 |
| [08:03] | Yeah, I– I definitely don’t wanna go. | 我肯定不想去 |
| [08:06] | But you will certainly be the belle of the ball. | 但你肯定会是舞池焦点 |
| [08:08] | Mmm, well, miss out, brother. | 那你就错过了 弟弟 |
| [08:10] | Miss out on your sista’s body, baby. | 错过目睹你姐姐身材的机会 |
| [08:13] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [08:17] | All right, well, I’m getting here safe. Text me later. | 我已经安全到达 过会儿给我短信 |
| [08:20] | No, you hang up first. | 不 你先挂 |
| [08:21] | No, you! No, y– | 不 你 不 你 |
| [08:23] | Mike? Hello? | 麦克 喂 |
| [08:26] | Did somebody order a hot, rich ? | 有人预定了一个性感有钱的姑娘吗 |
| [08:29] | Young moolah, baby! | 年轻金钱 宝贝 |
| [08:39] | He’s so cute, right? | 他很可爱 对吗 |
| [08:41] | Ooh, neck hair. | 脖毛 |
| [08:43] | Ladies, ladies, major conundrum. | 姐妹们 大麻烦 |
| [08:44] | – What? – What? | -怎么了 -怎么了 |
| [08:45] | There is a hottie at this party that looks | 派对上有个帅哥 |
| [08:47] | just like a male Lucy Liu. | 看着就像男版刘玉玲 |
| [08:50] | Oh, yes. | 棒 |
| [08:53] | There’s a big problem, though. | 不过有个大问题 |
| [08:55] | My penis. | 我的鸡鸡 |
| [08:57] | I’m sorry? | 什么 |
| [08:59] | You know how I have a gorgeous, uncircumcised penis? | 你知道我有根没割过的漂亮鸡鸡吧 |
| [09:01] | Well, I do now. | 现在知道了 |
| [09:03] | How have I not told you about his gorgeous, uncircumcised penis? | 我怎么会没跟你讲过他没割过的漂亮鸡鸡 |
| [09:06] | You’re not listening. | 你没认真听 |
| [09:07] | But I love it. I love it because | 但我很喜欢 我喜欢因为 |
| [09:09] | it has so much more, like– like sabor, | 它更有味道 |
| [09:12] | sensitivity than normal, cut penises do. | 比普通割过的鸡鸡更敏感 |
| [09:15] | – Oh, really? – Oh, yes. | -是吗 -是的 |
| [09:16] | Circumcision exposes the penile head | 割包皮会暴露龟头 |
| [09:19] | decreasing sensitivity over time. | 随着时间推移减弱灵敏度 |
| [09:21] | The tip becomes calloused, | 顶端变得麻木 |
| [09:23] | leaving cut penises with, like, five percent | 所获得的快感 |
| [09:25] | of the pleasure experienced by in tact men. | 只有完整男人的5% |
| [09:27] | Pullback gang all damn day. | 永远支持没有割过的鸡鸡 |
| [09:29] | Every day. | 永远 |
| [09:30] | Whoa, how do you know so much about this? | 你怎么这么了解的 |
| [09:33] | Honestly, Ab, if you don’t read a book soon, | 讲真 小艾 你要是不赶紧看本书 |
| [09:35] | – you’re gonna forget how. – I– | -你会忘掉的 -我 |
| [09:37] | The problem is because of my particular PH balance, | 问题是因为我的酸碱平衡 |
| [09:40] | – I am prone… – It’s okay. | -我易于 -没事的 |
| [09:43] | I prone to having the yeasty infections. | 我易于酵母菌感染 |
| [09:46] | He has one now. | 他现在就有一个 |
| [09:47] | That’s why I’m wearing this skirt. | 所以我才穿了这裙子 |
| [09:49] | But the thing is, like, | 关键是 |
| [09:50] | I know I “Look good,” but I don’t feel sexy. | 我知道我好看 但我觉得自己不性感 |
| [09:53] | So I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time for me | 所以我在考虑也许是时候 |
| [09:56] | to… cut my pepito. | 割掉我的包皮了 |
| [10:01] | That’s heavy. | 好沉重 |
| [10:06] | Should we drink? | 我们要喝酒吗 |
| [10:07] | – Yes! – Yes! | -当然 -当然 |
| [10:11] | What’s that behind your ear? | 你耳朵后面是什么 |
| [10:13] | Pow! One night off, get me off! | 狂欢一夜 让我高潮 |
| [10:25] | One last one for mama. | 最后一点给自己 |
| [10:34] | That’s the one football game I watched. | 那是我看过的唯一一场橄榄球比赛 |
| [10:37] | God, you’re cute as shit. | 天 你真是可爱哭 |
| [10:39] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [10:40] | You wanna smash later? | 你想过会儿去滚床单吗 |
| [10:43] | No. | 不了 |
| [10:44] | Thank you for the polite invite, I guess. | 不过谢谢你礼貌的邀请 |
| [10:46] | But I’m actually seeing someone. | 我已经有对象了 |
| [10:50] | Waste of two minutes. | 浪费两分钟 |
| [10:53] | You okay? You want me to cut a bitch? | 你还好吗 要我去教训贱人吗 |
| [10:55] | No, it’s all right. | 没事 |
| [10:56] | But that’s, like, the third dude that’s hit on me tonight. | 不过那是今晚第三个勾搭我的人 |
| [10:59] | Not surprised. That’s what happens when you’re taken. | 正常 有了对象后就会这样 |
| [11:01] | Everybody can smell your pheromones | 所有人都能闻到 |
| [11:02] | spraying off your mons pubis. | 你阴阜发出的信息素 |
| [11:04] | Gotta make my day off count. | 难得放假得好好玩 |
| [11:06] | Work hard, play hard, baby. Hold up. | 卖力工作 卖力玩 等等 |
| [11:11] | Jesus, I’m getting there. | 我快到了 |
| [11:12] | Thanks very much. | 非常感谢 |
| [11:14] | Jesus! | 老天 |
| [11:15] | I’m really sorry. | 非常抱歉 |
| [11:16] | It was just the tips. | 只是小费 |
| [11:19] | Ilana, those are dangerous. | 阿拉娜 那些很危险 |
| [11:20] | Oh, but they do come in handy. | 但是很方便 |
| [11:26] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [11:27] | 麦克 拯救生命 | |
| [11:31] | All right, the service in here is terrible. | 这的信号好差 |
| [11:33] | Swear to God, train service and cell service | 我发誓 自从我们成了法西斯国家后 |
| [11:34] | has been terrible since we became a fascist state. | 火车服务和手机服务就一直很烂 |
| [11:37] | You know what? I’m gonna see if I can get service in another room. | 我去别的房间看看能不能有信号 |
| [11:39] | You know what? I’m gonna work my death drops. | 我要练习我的死亡后仰 |
| [11:41] | Yes. | 棒 |
| [11:47] | That’s great, okay. | 很好 |
| [12:01] | – Jesus! – No, I’m so sorry. I just– I heard you crying. | -老天 -抱歉 我只是听到你哭 |
| [12:05] | Are you okay? | 你还好吗 |
| [12:13] | Yeah, I’m sorry. | 嗯 抱歉 |
| [12:15] | Sorry, I don’t usually– I just was getting service. | 抱歉 我一般不会 我只是来找手机信号 |
| [12:18] | I’m kind of having a tough time. | 我在经历一段困难时期 |
| [12:22] | Well, actually, my husband and I… | 实际上是 我老公和我 |
| [12:25] | are having a tough time. | 在经历一段困难时期 |
| [12:27] | And I really– | 我真的 |
| [12:28] | I really don’t know what to do. | 我真的不知所措 |
| [12:30] | Relationships are tough, take it from me. | 维持关系很难 我是过来人 |
| [12:34] | How long have you guys been together? | 你们在一起多久了 |
| [12:36] | Show me just one. I’ll show you both. | 给我看一个嘛 我给你看两个 |
| [12:38] | – I’ll show you right now– – Ilana, what’s good? | -我现在就给你看 -阿拉娜 好啊 |
| [12:39] | – Damien! – Hey, hey, what’s up? | -达米恩 -你好吗 |
| [12:41] | How are you? Good to see you. | 你怎么样 很高兴见到你 |
| [12:42] | You too. | 我也是 |
| [12:43] | – What are you doing here? – What’re you talking about? | -你在这干什么 -你说什么呢 |
| [12:45] | It’s my party. I invited you. | 这是我的派对 我邀请了你 |
| [12:47] | – Yes. – Yeah. | -对 -嗯 |
| [12:49] | – Right. – Right, yeah. | -是啊 -嗯 |
| [12:50] | Wait, does that mean that lincoln’s here? | 等等 这是不是说林肯也在这 |
| [13:08] | Hold on one second. | 等一下 |
| [13:09] | – I’m just gonna grab this. – Okay. | -给我 -好吧 |
| [13:12] | I’ll come back for you. | 我之后再来找你 |
| [13:13] | I shouldn’t have invited her. | 不该邀请她来的 |
| [13:17] | – Well, hello. – Hey. | -你好啊 -嘿 |
| [13:19] | Ilana. Ilana Wexler. | 阿拉娜 阿拉娜·韦克斯勒 |
| [13:21] | Yeah, I– I know. | 我知道 |
| [13:22] | How are you? You look great. | 你好吗 你气色不错 |
| [13:24] | You look good too. You look like a video girl. | 你也是 你看上去像视频里的女生 |
| [13:27] | Woman. | 女人 |
| [13:29] | – Video gi– You look good. – Thanks. | -视频女生 你看着不错 -谢谢 |
| [13:34] | Steph, this is Ilana. | 斯黛芙 这是阿拉娜 |
| [13:35] | Ilana, this is my girlfriend, Steph. | 阿拉娜 这是我女友 斯黛芙 |
| [13:40] | No… | 不 |
| [13:43] | * Oh, no, oh, no * | *不 不* |
| [13:45] | * Oh, no… * | *不* |
| [13:49] | Catch up with you later. | 过会儿来找你 |
| [13:57] | Abbi, I just saw Lincoln and then I met his girlfriend | 艾比 我刚看到林肯了 还有他女友 |
| [13:59] | and I shit myself from a sphincter-quivering, | 我因为肛门痉挛 |
| [14:02] | pelvic-floor-loosening, socially lethal combination | 盆底肌松弛 以及社交致命组合 |
| [14:05] | of cheese, champagne, and cocaine. | 奶酪 香槟和可卡因而拉屎了 |
| [14:07] | I need some working fingers in the bathroom pronto | 我需要能活动的手指立马到卫生间来 |
| [14:10] | before I Edward Scissors-ass my ass. | 不然我就得剪掉我的屁股了 |
| [14:12] | You owe me a doo doo favor, bitch! | 你欠我一次大便人情 贱人 |
| [14:18] | Hey, this is Abbi. | 你好 我是艾比 |
| [14:20] | I’m sorry I can’t answer the phone, | 抱歉不能接电话 |
| [14:21] | probably with my boyfriend, Mike. | 可能和我男友麦克在一起 |
| [14:22] | We’re in a relationship. We’re probably– | 我们在谈恋爱 我们也许 |
| [14:25] | Thanks for nothing. | 不用费心了 |
| [14:29] | In use! | 有人 |
| [14:31] | Ilana, it’s me. | 阿拉娜 是我 |
| [14:36] | Hey, did you shit your leotard? | 你在紧身衣里拉屎了吗 |
| [14:38] | No. | 没有 |
| [14:47] | How’d you know? | 你怎么知道的 |
| [14:48] | I know that face anywhere. | 我太了解那张脸了 |
| [14:49] | That face is saying, “I’m shitting my leotard.” | 那张脸在说 我在紧身衣里拉屎了 |
| [14:52] | Also, it really smells like shit in here. | 还有 这里面一股屎味 |
| [14:56] | It’s just distinct. | 太明显了 |
| [14:56] | – That’s a big… clue. – It’s just a smell. | -真是巨大的提示 -只是味道而已 |
| [14:59] | It smells how it’s supposed to smell. | 就该是这个味道 |
| [15:01] | Well, thank you so much. | 万分感谢 |
| [15:03] | I do appreciate you checking in, | 我谢谢你进来看我 |
| [15:05] | but your services are not, um, needed here. | 但我不需要你的帮助 |
| [15:09] | So thank you for, | 所以谢谢你 |
| [15:20] | Yeah, I guess I could use a hand. | 我想我需要一只手[帮忙] |
| [15:22] | Like I said, I’m open to the idea of circumcision. | 我说了 我接受割包皮 |
| [15:25] | – Okay. – You know, Damien, | -好的 -达米恩 |
| [15:26] | I just love the full sensitivity to my penis. | 我只是喜欢我鸡鸡有完整的灵敏度 |
| [15:29] | – Of course. – An orgasm for me | -当然 -对我来说 |
| [15:30] | is like a full-body experience, you know? | 一次高潮就如同一次全身的体验 |
| [15:33] | – Really? – Yeah! | -真的吗 -是的 |
| [15:34] | It’s like my body fills up with fire | 我的身体就像充满了火焰 |
| [15:35] | and then I just jump into a glacier… | 然后我跃入冰川 |
| [15:37] | …that’s broken up just for me. | 完全爽翻天 |
| [15:38] | That’s how a normal orgasm feels for you? | 你的正常高潮是这样的吗 |
| [15:41] | So sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [15:42] | Maybe there is a language barrier. Silly Jaimé! | 或许存在语言障碍 笨蛋海眉 |
| [15:45] | It’s like the world crumbles beneath my feet | 就像世界在我脚下崩塌 |
| [15:47] | and when I open my eyes the universe is reborn. | 当我睁开双眼 宇宙重生 |
| [15:49] | You know what I mean? | 懂我意思吗 |
| [15:50] | – Kinda. – Yeah? | -差不多吧 -是吗 |
| [15:51] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [15:53] | When I orgasm it’s– it’s kinda like– | 当我高潮的时候 就像 |
| [15:55] | Okay, you know the little basketball hoops | 你知道儿童泳池里的 |
| [15:59] | that are in the kiddie pool for the kids? | 篮球框吧 |
| [16:01] | – Yeah. – Yeah, so I’m dunking on it. | -嗯 -我在上面扣篮 |
| [16:04] | Pow! Slam dunk! Wet. | 灌篮 浑身湿透 |
| [16:07] | And it feels great. | 感觉超爽 |
| [16:12] | I mean, we started going out in college. | 我们大学就开始交往 |
| [16:13] | And we just started going in different directions, you know? | 然后开始往不同的方向发展 |
| [16:17] | It’s been, like, three months since we had sex | 我们已经三个月没有性生活了 |
| [16:19] | and even then, it wasn’t good. | 即使在当时 也不是很和谐 |
| [16:21] | I just tried to have sex with him right now, | 我刚试图和他做爱 |
| [16:23] | and he pretended he was asleep. | 结果他假装他睡着了 |
| [16:24] | It is 9:00 pm! | 才9点 |
| [16:25] | Relationships are complicated. | 两人关系很复杂 |
| [16:26] | I mean, I know. | 我深有体会 |
| [16:28] | It’s about communication | 重点在于 |
| [16:29] | and listening to each other’s energies. | 交流倾听互相的能量 |
| [16:31] | Tell him what you want. Tell him what you need. | 告诉他你想要什么 你需要什么 |
| [16:33] | That’s what Mike and I do, and we’re great. | 我和麦克就是这样 我们关系很好 |
| [16:37] | Wow, you are right. | 你说得对 |
| [16:39] | You just… really get relationships. | 你真的很懂两人关系 |
| [16:42] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [16:43] | So how long have you two been together? | 所以你们两个在一起多久了 |
| [16:46] | We’ve been together… | 我们在一起 |
| [16:48] | six long… | 长长的 |
| [16:50] | long… days. | 长长的六天了 |
| [16:54] | Wait, what? | 什么 |
| [16:59] | Well, okay. | 好吧 |
| [17:00] | Well– it– but our connection is like super powerful. | 但是我们之间的联系超级强烈 |
| [17:04] | Um, it’s like we’ve known each other | 就像我们认识了 |
| [17:05] | for, like, three months, four months. | 三个月 四个月一样 |
| [17:07] | – Like, it’s– – What’s his middle name? | -就像 -他的中间名是什么 |
| [17:10] | Berto? | 博尔托 |
| [17:11] | Where’s he from? | 他是哪里人 |
| [17:12] | From Ohio. | 俄亥俄 |
| [17:14] | Or is it Iowa? Somewhere– | 也可能是爱荷华 某个 |
| [17:17] | Oh, my God. You’re not in a relationship, | 我的天 你没有在恋爱 |
| [17:18] | you’re literally sleeping with a stranger. | 你是在和陌生人上床 |
| [17:21] | You won’t even know for, like, years, | 如果你们真走到那步 |
| [17:22] | if you even get that far. | 你也不会了解 |
| [17:23] | And even then, he could end up being | 就算在那个时候 他也有可能 |
| [17:25] | a completely different person than the guy he is right now. | 变得和现在完全不一样 |
| [17:28] | You’re such a idiot. | 你真是个蠢货 |
| [17:31] | – I’m sorry. Oh, my God! – Okay. | -抱歉 我的天 -好吧 |
| [17:35] | Oh, my God. Thank you. I really needed that. | 天啊 谢谢你 刚才对话很有帮助 |
| [17:39] | You moron. Six days! | 傻瓜 六天 |
| [17:40] | Okay. | 我知道了 |
| [17:42] | It’s not that funny. | 有这么好笑吗 |
| [17:46] | This zipper’s stuck, we’re gonna have to rip it. | 拉链卡住了 只能撕开 |
| [17:48] | – I know. – Perfect. | -我知道 -完美 |
| [17:58] | Those things look dangerous. | 那些看起来很危险 |
| [18:00] | It’s ’cause I’m rich now. | 因为我现在有钱了 |
| [18:01] | – Oh, yeah? – Yeah. | -是吗 -是的 |
| [18:03] | Got a dope waiting job and I’m making serious bank. | 找了份超酷的服务员工作 赚了一大笔钱 |
| [18:06] | I’m… much more mature than when you last saw me. | 我比你上次见我成熟了很多 |
| [18:09] | – It looks like it. – Yes. | -看样子是的 -真的 |
| [18:12] | Could you close your eyes? | 你能闭上眼睛吗 |
| [18:14] | All right. Closed. | 好 闭上了 |
| [18:20] | Well, Steph seems really nice. | 斯黛芙看上去很好 |
| [18:23] | She is. | 是的 |
| [18:24] | Yeah, she seems cool and… | 她看上去很酷 |
| [18:27] | pretty and I hope you guys are, um, | 漂亮 希望你们 |
| [18:30] | making each other orgasm a lot. | 给对方很多高潮 |
| [18:32] | You know, Ilana, me and you, we had– | 阿拉娜 我和你 |
| [18:34] | we had our own thing going and… | 我们有过一段感情 |
| [18:36] | and that was fun but now, I’m– | 很有趣 但是现在 我 |
| [18:38] | I’m getting what I want and I’m happy | 我找到自己想要的了 我很幸福 |
| [18:40] | and I hope you’re getting what you want too. | 希望你也找到你想要的 |
| [18:45] | You can open your eyes now. | 你可以睁开眼睛了 |
| [18:46] | What were you doing while they were closed? | 闭上的时候你都干了什么 |
| [18:49] | I’m gonna need to buy Damien a bottle of wine or something. | 我得给达米恩买瓶酒 |
| [18:52] | Sorry you had to see me like this. | 抱歉让你看到我这样 |
| [18:54] | You’re lucky you got out when you did, brother. | 你很幸运摆脱了我 |
| [18:56] | I am a rich, disgusting monster. | 我是个有钱恶心的怪物 |
| [19:01] | It’s okay. | 没事的 |
| [19:02] | You should probably just take a shower. | 或许你该冲个澡 |
| [19:04] | Yeah, what I just did when you closed your eyes made it worse. | 我在你闭上眼时做的让情况恶化了 |
| [19:09] | Much, much, much worse. It became a medical issue. | 恶化很多 变成医疗问题了 |
| [19:15] | There’s only one Ilana Wexler. | 阿拉娜·韦克斯勒果然举世无双 |
| [19:23] | Okay, just let me get this out. | 听我说完 |
| [19:26] | Someone recently told me that I’m not a relationship person, | 有人最近跟我说我不适合恋爱 |
| [19:28] | so I think I just dove into this too fast. | 所以我想我这次投入得太快 |
| [19:31] | I think I just need some time to really figure myself out. | 我想我需要点时间理清头绪 |
| [19:34] | I just wanna make sure you know it’s me and not you. | 我想让你知道这是我的原因不是你 |
| [19:38] | Oh, well, yeah. It’s only been six days. | 嗯 才六天而已 |
| [19:41] | I didn’t realize we were being exclusive. | 我都不知道我们关系有这么严肃 |
| [19:43] | What? | 什么 |
| [19:44] | Well, I’ve been sleeping with a couple people. | 我有和别人上床 |
| [19:48] | Okay, well, I guess there’s nothing more to say | 好吧 那就没什么可说的了 |
| [19:50] | unless you have something to say. | 除非你有话要说 |
| [19:53] | I lost the heartbeat! | 没有心跳了 |
| [20:00] | How’d it go? | 怎么样 |
| [20:01] | I– I let him down easy. Yeah, it was tough. | 我婉言和他分手了 挺难的 |
| [20:04] | Good girl. | 好姑娘 |
| [20:10] | Okay, baby. Here we go. | 亲爱的 开始了 |
| [20:14] | You know, I wanted last night to be so perfect. | 我很希望昨晚可以是完美的 |
| [20:16] | But I can’t stuff my tips into my empty heart. | 但我没法把小费塞进我空洞的心里 |
| [20:22] | – I’m so sorry. – God! | -抱歉 -天啊 |
| [20:24] | And now I have to lose these tips. | 现在我得摆脱这些”小费指甲” |
| [20:26] | It’s like they’re leaving office all over again. | 就像它们再次离开办公室一样 |
| [20:28] | I know. | 我懂 |
| [20:29] | I think it is time for me to lose my tip too. | 我想也是时候摆脱我的”小费包皮”了 |
| [20:31] | – I’m so sorry, Jaimé. – It’s okay. | -很遗憾 海眉 -没事的 |
| [20:34] | I’m so sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [20:36] | It’s okay. | 没事 |
| [20:37] | I’m so sorry too. It’s a tough call. | 我也很遗憾 艰难决定 |
| [20:42] | I don’t have, um, a like– a tip metaphor | 我今天 个人而言 |
| [20:46] | – for me, personally, for today. – It’s okay. | -没有能比喻小费的东西 -没事 |
| [20:48] | But I did realize, you know, maybe I’m not | 但我明白了 或许我确实 |
| [20:51] | a relationship girl, you know? | 不适合恋爱 |
| [20:52] | Maybe I’m not not one, either. | 或许我也可能是 |
| [20:54] | Like, maybe I’m just figuring it all out. | 或许我只是还需要弄明白 |
| [20:57] | I’m just gonna focus on myself, you know? | 我要专注于自己 |
| [21:01] | Totally. | 当然 |
| [21:07] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |