| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:12] | Abbi? | 艾比 |
| [00:14] | Rat bastard! | 鼠杂碎 |
| [00:22] | Get out! You’re ruining my life! | 滚出去 你毁了我的生活 |
| [00:34] | This is some of my best sandwich work to date. | 这是迄今为止我最得意的三明治 |
| [00:43] | No, no-no-no. | 不 不 不 不 |
| [00:45] | Rata hijueputa. | 混蛋老鼠 |
| [00:49] | Kinda sexy. | 有点性感呢 |
| [01:07] | Weed thief! | 偷麻贼 |
| [01:18] | That rat won’t be bothering you anymore. | 那只老鼠不会再骚扰你们了 |
| [01:21] | He’s gone to a better place. | 它去了一个更好的地方 |
| [01:23] | Oh, you mean, like the heaven. | 你是说天堂吧 |
| [01:24] | Oh, no. | 当然不是 |
| [01:26] | His dead carcass is probably rotting in the ceiling. | 它的尸体多半在天花板里腐烂 |
| [01:30] | All right, that’ll be $400. | 好了 一共400 |
| [01:32] | – $400? – Are you serious? | -400 -你没开玩笑吧 |
| [01:34] | I’m gonna have to sell my sperm again, uh… | 我又得去卖精子了 |
| [01:35] | – Jesus, that’s criminal. – No. | -天啊 你这是犯罪 -不行 |
| [01:51] | 400 $400. | |
| [02:00] | That’s all of it. | 这里刚好400 |
| [02:01] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [02:04] | – God… – Oh, there’s a package out here. | -卧槽 -外面有个包裹 |
| [02:07] | Ooh, Larry and David. | 拉里&大卫 |
| [02:22] | Flirt alert, oh, my God, cute dress, Ab. | 调情警报 天呐 裙子真可爱 小艾 |
| [02:25] | Hot date later? | 待会儿有约会吗 |
| [02:26] | Is he black? | 是黑人吗 |
| [02:28] | What? | 什么 |
| [02:29] | No, I just thought it was a party, | 不是 我只是觉得是个派对 |
| [02:30] | So, I’m wearing normal clothes. | 所以我穿了普通服装 |
| [02:32] | Right, this is your first summer solstice Soulstice party. | 对哦 这是你第一次夏至日Soulstice派对 |
| [02:36] | You ‘lil virgin, ooh… | 你个小处女 |
| [02:39] | I’m gonna need to start drinking. | 我需要开始喝酒了 |
| [02:41] | Yes, girl. | 没错 妹子 |
| [02:42] | Here, drink this. | 给 喝这个 |
| [02:43] | It is 11% alcohol content kombucha. | 这是酒精浓度为11%的红茶菌 |
| [02:46] | I like to call it “Kom-booze-cha.” | 我喜欢称之为红酒菌 |
| [02:50] | Don’t, um, don’t steal that, though. | 不过别盗去用哦 |
| [02:53] | I came up with it. | 是我想出来的 |
| [03:04] | Olive oil? | 橄榄油 |
| [03:05] | Sea salt crackers? | 海盐饼干 |
| [03:07] | Baklava?! | 果仁蜜饼 |
| [03:08] | This is the most beautiful basket I’ve ever seen, | 这是我见过的最美的篮子 |
| [03:10] | and I grew up on Long Island. | 我还是在长岛长大的 |
| [03:11] | They had shivas for days, literally. | 他们会进行很久的服丧期 真的 |
| [03:14] | “We love and accept you exactly as you are.” | “我们爱并接受真实的你” |
| [03:18] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [03:19] | It must be from my parents. | 一定是我父母给我寄的 |
| [03:21] | They haven’t spoken to me since I came out to them months ago. | 自从我几个月前向他们出柜后他们就没和我说过话了 |
| [03:24] | Months? | 几个月 |
| [03:25] | This must be their olive branch, literally. | 这一定是他们送来的橄榄枝 |
| [03:28] | Olive branch? | 橄榄枝 |
| [03:29] | Dur, there’s olive tapenade in here. | 岂止 这还有橄榄酱 |
| [03:32] | I mean, double dur. | 双重岂止 |
| [03:33] | Larry and David? That’s two men, right? | 拉里&大卫 是两个男人 对吧 |
| [03:35] | Oh, my God, this is so beautiful, Ilana. | 天 这太美妙了 阿拉娜 |
| [03:37] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [03:38] | – That’s awesome, dude. – Yeah. | -这太棒了 哥们儿 -是啊 |
| [03:41] | I think we should throw a party | 我觉得我们该办个派对 |
| [03:43] | and spread the seed of this gesture all over people. | 让大家都来分享这份礼物 |
| [03:46] | Himmelz, what if we charged a cover, | 黑莫茨 你说我们收取入场费 |
| [03:49] | and we made back that money | 赚回我们刚给那个 |
| [03:51] | that we gave to that stupid exterminator? | 傻逼灭鼠员的钱怎么样 |
| [03:54] | Sometimes we are so smart, Ilana, | 有时候我们太聪明了 阿拉娜 |
| [03:56] | I am scared of what we are truly capable of. | 想想我们真正的能力就好怕怕 |
| [03:59] | I gotta call A-team. | 我得给A队打个电话 |
| [04:10] | Go for Abbi. | 说吧 |
| [04:11] | Jaime’s former bigot parents who are now amazing, | 海眉以前的恶人父母现在变大好人了 |
| [04:14] | sent him an “Insahn” gift basket from Larry and David. | 给他寄了一个超赞的拉里&大卫礼物篮子 |
| [04:18] | Holy shit. | 卧槽 |
| [04:23] | Well, uh, save me some of those chocolate-covered cherries | 给我留些巧克力樱桃 |
| [04:26] | ’cause those are so classy. | 那些才是好东西 |
| [04:27] | I’ll do ya one better. | 我有个更好的主意 |
| [04:28] | We’re throwing a party tonight | 我们今晚要办派对 |
| [04:29] | for a tiny fee of ten bucks a head. | 每人收取10块钱 |
| [04:31] | Bring friends– I, I don’t have any, but you guys. | 带点朋友来 我没有朋友 但你们有很多 |
| [04:35] | That’s cool. | 好的 |
| [04:38] | Uh-oh, what do we have here? | 什么情况 |
| [04:41] | Caught Abbi red ‘anded, creepin’ on da Soulstice floor. | 艾比在Soulstice里鬼鬼祟祟被逮个正着 |
| [04:45] | Shaggy boombastic! | 乱蓬蓬的长发美女 |
| [04:47] | But, seriously, what are you doing? | 不过说真的 你在做什么 |
| [04:48] | I was just in here… Drinking | 我在这里 喝酒 |
| [04:51] | Because this was like my third, and fourth, uh, bottle of booze. | 这是我第三瓶和第四瓶酒 |
| [04:55] | And I didn’t want anyone to see me, you know, | 我不想被人看到 你懂的 |
| [04:56] | consuming so many empty calories. | 消耗太多空热量的食物 |
| [04:59] | All right, tell you what. | 这么着吧 |
| [05:01] | I am in, I’m gonna join ya. | 我也来 我要加入你 |
| [05:02] | Cent’anni! | 祝身体永远健康 |
| [05:05] | It’s kind of spunky, right? | 劲头十足 是不是 |
| [05:07] | That’s what she said. | 她也这么说的[请自行百度此梗] |
| [05:10] | Come on, that was genuinely organic. | 拜托 我没有任何邪恶之意 |
| [05:13] | “That’s what she said.” | “她也这么说的” |
| [05:14] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [06:03] | Weed queen. | 大麻女王 |
| [06:08] | Okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [06:09] | Hey, don’t make me do CPR, okay? | 别让我做心肺复苏术 好吗 |
| [06:12] | – Wait, wait, wait. – Okay. | -等等 -好的 |
| [06:13] | So, I go into, like, a Starbucks, you know, Starbucks. | 我走进星巴克 你懂的 星巴克 |
| [06:16] | It’s, like, a pretty big chain of coffee shops. | 就是一大型连锁咖啡店 |
| [06:19] | Yeah, I’ve seen ’em around. | 嗯 我有见过 |
| [06:20] | From Seattle! Get a clue, man! | 来自西雅图 清醒过来吧 |
| [06:22] | And I’m, like, ordering. | 我点咖啡的时候 |
| [06:24] | And the person’s like, “What’s your name?” | 那人问 “你叫什么名字” |
| [06:26] | And I’m, like, | 我说 |
| [06:27] | “Mrs. Starbucks.” | “星巴克女士” |
| [06:36] | I’m gonna pick up my phone ’cause it’s ringing. | 我得接下电话因为它在响 |
| [06:39] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [06:40] | Can you steal tampons, too? | 你能顺便偷点卫生棉条吗 |
| [06:41] | Yeah, tampons! | 嗯 卫生棉条 |
| [06:43] | Oh, my God. Oh, my God. | 天啊 天啊 |
| [06:45] | Oh, my God, you’re bleeding. | 天啊 你在流血 |
| [06:46] | Dur, that’s why I need the tampons. | 废话 所以我才需要卫生棉条 |
| [06:48] | You’re bleeding, you’re bleeding. | 你在流血 你在流血 |
| [06:48] | Sorry, take your phone call, | 不好意思 你继续你的电话 |
| [06:49] | you’take your phone call, you’take your phone call. | 你继续你的电话 你继续你的电话 |
| [06:50] | No, tamps, tamps. | 我懂 棉条 棉条 |
| [06:52] | For, for– yeah, yeah– I got them. | 没问题 包在我身上 |
| [06:59] | That didn’t mean anything. | 刚才那吻代表不了什么 |
| [07:05] | I can’t believe that diseased little rat | 不敢相信那带病的老鼠 |
| [07:07] | chewed through my favorite period panties. | 竟然咬穿了我最爱的月经裤 |
| [07:10] | Panty-eating rat perv. | 吃女裤的变态鼠 |
| [07:13] | Ilana, there’s been something I’ve been wanting to ask you | 阿拉娜 有件事想问你很久了 |
| [07:17] | for a while and don’t feel any pressure at all to say yes. | 不要有任何压力尽管说”是” |
| [07:23] | But it would mean the world to me, | 但那将对我意义重大 |
| [07:27] | if I could be your head chef. | 如果我能做你的主厨 |
| [07:30] | Yeah, go nuts. | 好 准了 |
| [07:31] | “With great power comes great responsibility.” | “权力越大 责任也越大” |
| [07:34] | Teddy Roosevelt. | 泰迪·罗斯福[西奥多·罗斯福] |
| [07:35] | Spider-man. | 蜘蛛侠 |
| [07:37] | Even better. | 更赞 |
| [07:42] | Okay, I, I know what you’re gonna say, | 好 我知道你要说什么 |
| [07:44] | but just hear me out, okay? | 但先听我说完 好吗 |
| [07:46] | I’ve always felt that the energy in this room was just off. | 我一直觉得这屋子里的能量不太对劲 |
| [07:49] | But I didn’t wanna say anything because, you know, | 但我不想说出来因为 你懂的 |
| [07:50] | I don’t like to stir the shit pot. | 我不喜欢制造事端 |
| [07:52] | But since this happened with my parents, | 但因为我父母做了这事 |
| [07:53] | I feel more like, mmm, confidence. | 我感到更自信了 |
| [07:56] | This– is how I feel the room should be. | 这是我觉得屋子该有的样子 |
| [08:00] | I love it. | 我喜欢 |
| [08:01] | Oh, sweet! | 太好了 |
| [08:02] | Why didn’t you do this, like, a year ago? | 你一年前怎么不这么做 |
| [08:03] | I don’t know! | 不知道 |
| [08:04] | It was like I hated a part of myself. | 我讨厌一部分的自己 |
| [08:07] | Now I only hate my cankles. | 现在我只讨厌脚踝的赘肉 |
| [08:09] | I need to make out with somebody. | 我需要找人亲热 |
| [08:11] | Wham, bam, thank you, sir. | 多谢了 先生 |
| [08:12] | No, someone new. | 不是你 要一个没亲热过的 |
| [08:13] | Okay, I’ll do this for you. | 好的 那我来吧 |
| [08:14] | No, someone who’s attracted to women. | 不 我要一个喜欢女人的人 |
| [08:16] | Abbi, just so you know, every guy here’s gonna be, like, | 艾比 给你说下 今天要过来的男生都是 |
| [08:18] | a four-plus on the kinsey scale. | 金赛量表测试4+ |
| [08:18] | 性学专家金赛博士制定的一个尺度 尝试用0至6代表人的性取向定位 | |
| [08:20] | Gay. | 基佬 |
| [08:21] | I know, that’s why this gal joined Tinder. | 我知道 所以我加入了Tinder[直人约炮软件] |
| [08:25] | You on Tinder? | 你注册了Tinder |
| [08:27] | I thought you’re all about that irl meet-cute rom-com lyfe. | 我以为你是那种喜欢在现实生活中浪漫邂逅的人 |
| [08:30] | You must be très horny. | 你一定是饥渴得不行了吧 |
| [08:32] | I’m not Trey anything, Ilana– what? | 我才不和特雷做什么呢 阿拉娜 你说的什么 |
| [08:34] | Okay, I won’t show-off my French, Abbi. | 好 我不秀我的法语了 艾比 |
| [08:37] | Plus, every Tinder guy will pay us the $10! | 再说 每个Tinder男都会给我们10块 |
| [08:39] | Money-money-money-money… | 钱钱钱钱 |
| [08:40] | Plus, plus, it’s not even your apartment, | 再说 再说 这都不是你的公寓 |
| [08:42] | So if they come back to chop you up, | 所以如果他们回来宰你 |
| [08:43] | you’re not even here. | 你人都不在这 |
| [08:44] | Yeah– wait, what? | 是啊 等等 什么 |
| [08:52] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [08:53] | You’re welcome. | 不客气 |
| [08:56] | Yes, so hot. | 太性感了 |
| [08:58] | Yes. | 棒 |
| [09:00] | Hi, thank you so much, thanks. | 非常感谢 谢谢 |
| [09:01] | It’s gonna be worth it. | 会物有所值的 |
| [09:03] | Thank you, love your money… Outfit. | 谢谢 爱你的钱 还有衣服 |
| [09:06] | Uh, oh, it is so disgustingly hot in here. | 这里面真尼玛热啊 |
| [09:10] | You know what? | 知道吗 |
| [09:10] | I’ll give you a discount, I know a gal… | 我给你打个折 我认识一个女生 |
| [09:12] | Okay, no, I’m gonna go. | 不用了 我闪了 |
| [09:13] | I love you. | 爱你 |
| [09:14] | Love ya. | 爱你 |
| [09:15] | Last one in, first one out, respect. | 后进先出 懂不懂尊重啊 |
| [09:18] | Uh, oh, I got three matches already, so… | 我已经有三个匹配了 |
| [09:20] | Tinder is so fucking easy, dude. | Tinder真他妈容易 姐们儿 |
| [09:23] | Yes, it is healthy for you to have zero discretion sometimes. | 是的 有时尽情放纵对你有好处 |
| [09:26] | I just got another match. | 又匹配到一个 |
| [09:27] | God, why didn’t I do this earlier? | 天 为什么我不早点玩这个 |
| [09:29] | I am rich in men. | 我男人好多 |
| [09:31] | And those men are gonna make me rich… | 那些男人会让我大赚 |
| [09:33] | In money. | 一笔钱 |
| [09:35] | ♪I rich.♪ | ♪我赚钱♪ |
| [09:43] | Rat bastard! | 鼠杂碎 |
| [09:47] | Lincoln, I just saw that dickhead rat. | 林肯 我刚看到那只傻吊老鼠了 |
| [09:49] | Where? | 哪里 |
| [09:50] | – In this apartment. – Ew. | -这间公寓里 -好恶心 |
| [09:52] | If people see him, they’re gonna leave. | 如果大家看到它 就会离开的 |
| [09:53] | And worse yet, they’re gonna want their money back. | 更糟的是 他们会想要回他们的钱 |
| [09:55] | Yeah, but they’d be right. | 对 但那是合理要求 |
| [09:58] | – Right? – Yeah, I know. | -是吧 -是的 我知道 |
| [10:00] | Okay, Lincoln, I need your culinary skills | 好了 林肯 我现在需要你 |
| [10:02] | to go above and beyond right now. | 超常发挥你的厨技 |
| [10:04] | I need you to create a dish so good, so élégante, | 我需要你做出一道超级美味雅致的菜 |
| [10:08] | that the party is distracted | 让所有人都沉醉其中 |
| [10:09] | and I can catch this fat-ass rat-ass myself. | 这样我就能亲手抓住这只胖老鼠了 |
| [10:11] | I’m talking Food Network-level. | 我说的是美食广播网的水平 |
| [10:13] | This restaurant would definitely rate a “C,” | 这间餐厅在纽约食品卫生部 |
| [10:16] | on the New York Sanitation Department scale. | 评级上肯定只能得C |
| [10:19] | But I wanna take on this challenge. | 但是我想接受这个挑战 |
| [10:21] | Actually, it would be a grade “D” | 实际上 只能得到D |
| [10:23] | ’cause of that moth larvae all over the ceiling. | 因为天花板上布满了飞蛾幼虫 |
| [10:25] | Yeah, I can’t find the source. | 可我找不到源头 |
| [10:27] | Okay, dope. | 好 交给你了 |
| [10:31] | Hi, Tadd 26? | 你好 你是Tadd 26吗 |
| [10:33] | Yeah, Abbi, hi. | 对 艾比 你好 |
| [10:35] | Wow, you look great. | 你真美 |
| [10:37] | This is a really good photo of you. | 你这张照片真不错 |
| [10:40] | Thanks. | 多谢夸奖 |
| [10:41] | It’s almost too good, though. | 几乎好看得不真实 |
| [10:43] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [10:45] | Should I go? | 我该走吗 |
| [10:46] | Inside? | 进屋吗 |
| [10:47] | Yeah. | 当然 |
| [10:48] | I’ll take that off your hands. | 这个就给我吧 |
| [10:49] | Enjoy yourself, feel welcome. | 好好玩 别客气 |
| [10:53] | Ilana, come on, I just… broke up with him. | 阿拉娜 拜托 我刚 和他分手了 |
| [10:56] | I need him, I need them all. | 我需要他 我需要所有人 |
| [10:58] | I spent $400 to get rid of this rat. | 我花了400块灭那老鼠 |
| [10:59] | I just saw him scurrying across the floor with his little nails. | 我刚看到它在地板上摇着尾巴穿梭 |
| [11:04] | Oh, my God, rat! | 天啊 老鼠 |
| [11:05] | Pack! | 帮 |
| [11:05] | Rat Pack鼠帮是由弗兰克·辛纳屈 甸·马丁等人组成的一个演唱组合 | |
| [11:06] | With Fred Sinatra, and they would sing a cappella | 包括弗兰克·辛纳屈 他们会无伴奏合唱 |
| [11:08] | and watch each other fuck. | 然后看对方做爱 |
| [11:10] | Give me my money back. | 把钱还给我 |
| [11:11] | I’m not staying at a rat party. | 我才不要参加老鼠派对 |
| [11:12] | Okay, okay– get out of here. | 行 行 快走吧 |
| [11:13] | Keep quiet. Go. | 别出声 快走 |
| [11:21] | What– no one. | 什么 没人 |
| [11:23] | What? | 什么 |
| [11:23] | What? I didn’t get a text from anybody. | 什么 我没有收到任何人的短信 |
| [11:25] | If I ever get my own food truck, | 如果哪天我拥有了自己的快餐车 |
| [11:26] | I’m gonna call it “Lincoln’s center.” | 我要称之为”林肯中心’ |
| [11:28] | That is genius! | 太有才了 |
| [11:33] | Gracias, Lincoln. | 谢谢 林肯 |
| [11:35] | Okay. | 客气 |
| [11:37] | I’ve been keeping something in for a very long time. | 有件事我忍了很久没说 |
| [11:40] | But today’s a new day for the Jaime. | 但今天对海眉来说是全新的一天 |
| [11:42] | Your mustache is terrible. | 你的小胡子很糟糕 |
| [11:44] | It makes you look like you– like touch the little children. | 让你看起来像是喜欢碰小孩子 |
| [11:50] | That felt good. | 感觉真好 |
| [11:54] | Motherfucker, that’s good. | 卧槽 真好吃 |
| [11:56] | Whoa, costume change? | 换造型了 |
| [11:57] | Yeah, I’m quirky. | 是啊 我很古怪的 |
| [12:05] | Sorry… | 不好意思 |
| [12:07] | Get up. | 起来 |
| [12:14] | Damn it. | 该死 |
| [12:21] | Hold down the fort. | 坚守阵地 |
| [12:22] | I’ve got a plan. | 我有主意了 |
| [12:26] | God, I loved your hair. | 擦 我本来喜欢你的头发的 |
| [12:29] | Not cool. | 不厚道 |
| [12:30] | Oh, I’d love to make out with this guy. | 我想和这人亲热 |
| [12:33] | I thought you said you were 26? | 你不是说你26吗 |
| [12:34] | I was, in that picture. | 照片里我确实是26啊 |
| [12:36] | I thought that was an Instagram filter. | 我以为那是Instagram滤镜 |
| [12:41] | Ooh, you’re really sexy. | 你真性感 |
| [12:46] | With a great smile. | 笑容很好看 |
| [12:50] | Hey, can I see your tat? | 嘿 我能看看你的文(身)吗 |
| [12:54] | Too… | 身 |
| [12:55] | ♪ Two peas in a pod ♪ | 我俩真像 |
| [12:58] | ♪ And neither of us are Jews ♪ | 都不是犹太人 |
| [13:01] | You should Uber. | 你该用优步 |
| [13:02] | That’s, um, German, right? | 那是德语对吧 |
| [13:06] | Sorry, but this obviously isn’t you. | 抱歉 但这明显不是你 |
| [13:08] | Yeah, obviously. | 废话 当然不是了 |
| [13:10] | You thought a young Denzel Washington | 你以为年轻时的丹泽尔·华盛顿 |
| [13:11] | was gonna show up for your Tinder date? | 会来和你进行Tinder约会吗 |
| [13:14] | You shoulda just swiped left. | 你该直接向左划的 |
| [13:16] | Wait, what do you mean “Swipe left”? | 等下 “向左划”是什么意思 |
| [13:27] | Jellicle cat, | 亲爱的猫 |
| [13:28] | I need you to find and kill this ballsack, rat bastard. | 我需要你找到并干掉这只多毛的鼠杂碎 |
| [13:32] | – In use! – Ilana, it’s me. | -有人 -阿拉娜 是我 |
| [13:34] | Oh, come in. | 进来 |
| [13:35] | Dude, oh my God! | 姐们儿 天啊 |
| [13:37] | Did you know that you can, like, swipe left on Tinder? | 你知道在Tinder上可以向左划吗 |
| [13:39] | And that means you’re not into the guy. | 代表你对那人不感兴趣 |
| [13:42] | I thought you had to meet-up with every– | 我以为需要和每个人 |
| [13:43] | You have options. | 你有选择的 |
| [13:45] | What’s happening in here? | 什么情况 |
| [13:46] | The cat’s out of the bag. | 猫从袋子里出来了 |
| [13:47] | Jellicle was not easy to remove from the bodega. | 让亲爱的离开超市可不容易 |
| [13:50] | But I gotta catch this piece of shit, rat bastard, | 但我一定要抓住这个王八蛋 鼠杂碎 |
| [13:53] | And I needed backup. | 我需要支援 |
| [13:55] | So, I had to borrow him. | 我只有把他借过来了 |
| [13:58] | Or her. | 或者是她 |
| [14:00] | What you? | 你是男是女 |
| [14:01] | Well, I kinda hope it’s a guy | 我有点希望是个公的 |
| [14:02] | because there’s literally zero good guys here. | 因为这里一个好男人都没有 |
| [14:06] | I need to meet, like, real men in real life | 我需要在现实生活中和非同事的 |
| [14:09] | – that I don’t work with. – Yeah. | -真实的男人见面 -是啊 |
| [14:12] | What? | 什么 |
| [14:12] | That I don’t, like, work it with. | 不和我共同解决问题的人 |
| [14:16] | You know? | 你懂吗 |
| [14:17] | – Totally. – That’s what I meant to say. | -完全 -我就是这个意思 |
| [14:18] | Well, please let this work. | 求让这招奏效 |
| [14:21] | No, it’s totally going to, | 肯定会的 |
| [14:22] | because cats can be scary vicious. | 因为猫可以很恐怖凶狠 |
| [14:26] | Come on, Jellicle cat, | 拜托 亲爱的猫 |
| [14:28] | Scheme, make some fucking trouble. | 搞点阴谋 制造点混乱 |
| [14:30] | Like, Tom and Jerry. | 像《猫和老鼠》那样 |
| [14:32] | Oh, my God, the media, | 天啊 媒体 |
| [14:33] | reducing even cats to a stereotype. | 连猫都墨守成规了 |
| [14:35] | See, I have to remember, I am the problem. | 你明白吗 我得时刻记住我就是问题 |
| [14:37] | Up next, you’ll savor chilled chocolate-covered cherry | 下一道美食 冷冻巧克力樱桃 |
| [14:40] | slivers your tongue didn’t know that it needed. | 将震撼你们的味觉 |
| [14:44] | Enjoy. | 慢慢品尝 |
| [14:46] | I am crushin’ it right now. | 我太出色了 |
| [14:48] | – I’m definitely gonna be the Chop’d Champion tonight. – Yes. | -今晚我肯定会成为Chop’d[餐厅]冠军的 -是的 |
| [14:53] | – What? – The rat just ran over my foot. | -怎么了 -老鼠刚从我脚上跑过 |
| [14:55] | You know the band Ratatat? | 你们知道那个砰砰声乐队吗 |
| [14:56] | Let’s listen to thatatat, mm-hmm. | 我们来听点塔塔声 |
| [15:01] | Oh, if I have to see another tin-dude, | 如果我还要再见一个Tinder男 |
| [15:03] | I’m gonna fucking break out. | 我特么就要爆发了 |
| [15:04] | Hi, I am looking for a Larry and David gift basket | 嗨 我在找一个拉里&大卫的礼品篮子 |
| [15:07] | that was dropped off here. | 放在这里的 |
| [15:08] | I, I, dropped it off, but at the wrong address, | 我留在了错误的地址 |
| [15:10] | And I need it back now. | 我需要找回来 |
| [15:12] | – My money. – My parents. | -我的钱 -我的父母 |
| [15:14] | My chef’s high. | 我做厨师的快感 |
| [15:15] | My… | 我的 |
| [15:16] | My, my. | 天啊 |
| [15:20] | How you doing? | 你好吗 |
| [15:23] | So, what are you saying? It didn’t come from Guatemala? | 你什么意思 这不是从危地马拉寄来的 |
| [15:25] | No, I’m sorry. | 不是 我很抱歉 |
| [15:26] | This is 215 10th street. | 这是第十街215号 |
| [15:27] | And I was supposed to deliver it to 210 15th street. | 而我该送往第十五街210号 |
| [15:29] | I keep messing up because I have dyslexia. | 我总是搞混因为我有阅读障碍 |
| [15:31] | Please, this is an SOS. | 拜托了 这是紧急状况 |
| [15:33] | I’m sorry, SOS. | 不好意思 紧急求助 |
| [15:35] | Dude, I’m so sorry but we got the basket, | 哥们儿 我很抱歉我们拿到了篮子 |
| [15:38] | and I already made some incredible– | 我已经做了一些巨大的 |
| [15:40] | Strides. | 改善 |
| [15:42] | Strides. | 改善 |
| [15:43] | To keep the basket in mint condition. | 为了保证篮子完好无损 |
| [15:47] | So, you know, we’re just gonna need a couple minutes | 所以 我们只需要一点时间 |
| [15:50] | to fill out some paperwork. | 填一些文件 |
| [15:54] | You seem stressed. Why don’t you come in? | 你看上去有点紧张 进来坐坐吧 |
| [15:56] | You guys figure out the paperwork. | 你们去准备文件 |
| [15:58] | I’ll show you around. | 我带你转转 |
| [16:00] | I mean, with letters and everything, | 有了字母什么的 |
| [16:02] | it’s like, who cares what order they’re in? | 谁还在乎它们的顺序啊 |
| [16:09] | Steven. | 斯蒂文 |
| [16:11] | Yeah, I shaved my mustache | 我把我的小胡子刮了 |
| [16:12] | with the pubey girl razor from the bathroom. | 用的卫生间里的女用刮阴毛剃刀 |
| [16:14] | You happy? | 你喜欢吗 |
| [16:15] | You look incredible. | 你帅呆了 |
| [16:16] | I was completely right. | 我之前说得太对了 |
| [16:18] | And the whole pedophile mustache was so distracting. | 恋童癖胡子太让人分心了 |
| [16:20] | But now I see your face. | 现在我终于能好好看你的脸了 |
| [16:21] | It’s beautiful. | 好看极了 |
| [16:23] | Kind of like it, too. | 我也很喜欢 |
| [16:24] | It’s like I was holding onto something, | 好像我之前在紧抓着什么东西 |
| [16:25] | like, some kind of mask. | 像是某种面具 |
| [16:28] | You know, we should hang out like in a date way. | 我们应该去约会 |
| [16:30] | Yeah, I’d love that. | 好啊 |
| [16:32] | I’m really glad that this all happened. | 真高兴这一切发生了 |
| [16:34] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [16:38] | Ew, dude! | 恶不恶心啊 哥们儿 |
| [16:39] | – Homophobe! – You hate the gays, man? | -恐同 -你讨厌基佬吗 |
| [16:41] | Who’s a homophobe? | 谁是恐同 |
| [16:41] | No, look at this mess! | 没人 看看这团糟 |
| [16:43] | I’m never gonna be able to get this back together. | 我永远也不可能完璧归赵了 |
| [16:45] | Lincoln, what do we all know | 林肯 众所周知 |
| [16:47] | is the most challenging part of cooking? | 做菜最难的部分是什么 |
| [16:49] | – Presentation. – Exactly. | -介绍 -没错 |
| [16:50] | This is a presentation challenge. | 这是介绍挑战 |
| [16:52] | Let’s turn our trash… | 让我们把垃圾 |
| [16:55] | into treasure. | 变废为宝 |
| [16:56] | I never will care about this basket, so good luck. | 我永远也不会关心这个篮子 祝你好运 |
| [16:59] | I’m not losing this money. | 我不要丢掉这笔钱 |
| [17:00] | Cool hat. I love hats. | 帽子不错 我喜欢帽子 |
| [17:04] | Cool, um… | 酷 |
| [17:06] | Can I ask you a personal question? | 我能问你个私人问题吗 |
| [17:08] | You ever taken a sharp turn in one of those trucks | 你有没有过开着那些没有门的 |
| [17:11] | without the doors on it, and then, you just fall out? | 卡车急转弯 然后你掉出去 |
| [17:14] | All the time. | 无时无刻 |
| [17:15] | Quick follow-up. | 还有个简单问题 |
| [17:16] | Do you wanna make out right now? | 你想现在亲热吗 |
| [17:18] | – Yeah. – Okay. | -想 -好 |
| [17:25] | Perfect. | 完美 |
| [17:31] | Keep going. | 继续 |
| [17:32] | Do your thing. | 做你的事 |
| [17:33] | Just pick the right food. | 选对的食物 |
| [17:35] | Oh, great. | 好极了 |
| [17:39] | Everybody love cheese balls. | 人人都爱芝士球 |
| [17:41] | I know, they’re, like, too good. | 我知道 它们太好吃了 |
| [17:43] | This is actual food. | 这是真的食物 |
| [17:47] | This is honestly really fucking good. | 老实说这个真的很好看 |
| [17:54] | We did it. | 我们做到了 |
| [17:56] | Yeah, but I still don’t feel too good about this. | 嗯 但我还是心有不安 |
| [17:59] | I’ve been making a mockery of Larry and David | 这是对拉里&大卫公司的糟蹋 |
| [18:01] | and they seem like really good guys. | 而他们似乎是好人 |
| [18:03] | Larry and David are fine. | 拉里&大卫没事的 |
| [18:04] | They’ve got a whole franchise | 他们靠着他们之间劲爆浪漫的 |
| [18:06] | based on their explosive sexual and romantic relationship. | 性爱关系成立了这公司 |
| [18:09] | Yo, what the fuck are you talking about? | 你在说什么 |
| [18:11] | The Larry and David franchise. | 拉里&大卫公司 |
| [18:13] | Larry and David are brothers. | 拉里&大卫是兄弟 |
| [18:15] | Ew. | 恶心 |
| [18:19] | Here’s your pristine basket. | 这是你的原始篮子 |
| [18:21] | We really wanna get in there, but we used our willpower. | 我们真的很想打开 但是我们用意志打消了这念头 |
| [18:25] | No, no, we just made out. | 没 没 我们刚做了 |
| [18:27] | Is that a shower curtain? | 那是浴帘吗 |
| [18:29] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [18:30] | You little piece of shit! | 你个小杂种 |
| [18:33] | Fuck you. | 去死吧 |
| [18:34] | You fucking rat! | 你这该死的老鼠 |
| [18:35] | I’m gonna fucking kill you! | 我要杀了你 |
| [18:49] | She’s female. | 它是母的 |
| [18:50] | Don’t you see? | 你们看不到吗 |
| [18:53] | And she just had these little babies. | 她刚生了这些小老鼠 |
| [18:56] | She’s a single gal | 她是个在寻找 |
| [18:58] | just looking to raise her kids in a safe home. | 安全居所抚养小孩的单身女孩 |
| [19:00] | Hey, no, I’m freaking out right now. | 不要 我要吓死了 |
| [19:02] | She’s me! | 她就是我 |
| [19:03] | What the fuck is going on here? | 这特么是什么情况 |
| [19:05] | Come on, they’re so cute. | 拜托 它们如此可爱 |
| [19:06] | They’re wrinkly, but they’re soft and fun, too. | 它们皱皱的 但同时很软很有趣 |
| [19:09] | That’s what she said. | 她也这么说的 |
| [19:12] | That’s something Trey would say. | 这是特雷会说的话 |
| [19:13] | Oh my God, totally. | 天 是啊 |
| [19:16] | – You gotta head out. – What? | -你得离开了 -什么 |
| [19:16] | – It’s time for you to go. – You sure? | -你该走了 -确定吗 |
| [19:18] | Yeah, you just say that basket was stolen | 确定 你就说篮子被偷了 |
| [19:19] | and you can salvage that job, great. | 你就能保住你的工作了 很好 |
| [19:21] | It’s been fun. | 和你相处很有趣 |
| [19:24] | We’re a great team. | 我们是个优秀的团队 |
| [19:25] | Yes, we are. | 是的 |
| [19:27] | May God, she bless us. | 愿上帝保佑我们 |
| [19:29] | Every one. | 所有人 |
| [19:33] | Ugh! Oh, God. | 真疼 |
| [19:35] | Goodness. | 天啊 |
| [19:36] | Hey, you know what, baby? | 你知道吗 亲爱的 |
| [19:38] | Yeah? | 什么 |
| [19:39] | Right now that I’m on this new path of like, honesty and truth? | 目前我正在坦诚相待的路上 |
| [19:43] | There’s a couple of things that I wanted to share with you. | 有些事我想和你说 |
| [19:45] | First of all, in the near future, | 首先 在不久的将来 |
| [19:47] | I would kind of like to use our oven for cooking. | 我想使用我们的烤箱来做菜 |
| [19:50] | Will you take your clothes out, please? | 你能把你的衣服拿出去吗 谢谢 |
| [19:52] | Absolutely, I hear that, I hear that. | 当然 我知道了 我知道了 |
| [19:56] | Ilana, I don’t want to do your bacne anymore. | 阿拉娜 我不想再帮你清理背后的粉刺了 |
| [19:59] | What? | 什么 |
| [20:00] | I’m sorry, it’s just not my thing. | 抱歉 但这不是我擅长的 |
| [20:02] | You should see a dermatologist. | 你应该去看皮肤科医生 |
| [20:03] | – Would you mind just doing one last one, the middle – The massive one, | -你能再做最后一个吗 中间的 -巨大的那个 |
| [20:06] | – I got it. – Massive middle back. | -没问题 -中间巨大的那个 |
| [20:09] | There’s another thing, Ilana, and I just… | 还有件事 阿拉娜 我 |
| [20:11] | I say this because I love you so much. | 我说这个是因为我很爱你 |
| [20:13] | There is something you do that I see a lot of white people do. | 你经常做一件很多白人做的事 |
| [20:16] | And it’s kind of like cultural appropriation. | 有点像文化挪用 |
| [20:19] | I’ve heard about this. | 我有听说过 |
| [20:19] | Like, for example, you know those earrings that you have | 比如 你知道你戴的那些写着 |
| [20:21] | – that say “Latina”? – Yeah? | -拉美女子的耳环吗 -怎么了 |
| [20:23] | – They look beautiful on you. – Thank you. | -你戴着很好看 -谢谢 |
| [20:24] | But you’re not Latina, mi amor. | 但你不是拉美的 亲爱的 |
| [20:25] | It’s almost like you’re stealing the identity from people | 好像你在盗取那些为阻挠殖民建筑 |
| [20:28] | who fought hard for against colonial structures. | 做过斗争的人们的身份 |
| [20:31] | So, in a way, it’s almost like you are the colonists. | 所以从某种程度上来说 你好比是殖民者 |
| [20:35] | You see? | 明白吗 |
| [20:38] | Oh, that felt good. | 感觉真爽 |
| [20:41] | Oh, also, mi amor, can you please get off Grindr? | 还有 亲爱的 你能别上Grindr[同志交友软件]吗 |
| [20:44] | You have a Grindr profile | 你注册了Grindr |
| [20:45] | and it’s kind of our thing, you know? | 这是属于我们同志的东西 知道吗 |
| [20:46] | I just wanna see penises within a mile of me. | 我只想看看一英里范围内的鸡巴 |
| [20:49] | I’m so sorry, I’ve gone too far. | 对不起 我过分了 |
| [20:51] | You can see all the penises you want. | 你可以尽情看鸡巴 |
| [20:53] | Teach me. | 教我 |
| [20:54] | – All the penises you want. – Teach me. | -想看多少看多少 -教我 |
| [20:56] | Penis. | 鸡巴 |