| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Ab, $12.99 is such a splurge for wine. | 小艾 12.99买红酒太浪费了 |
| [00:06] | You’re spoiling me. | 你这是在宠坏我 |
| [00:07] | Don’t, it’s your birthday, dude. | 胡说 今天是你生日 |
| [00:09] | You deserve a bottle, not a box. | 你值得一瓶酒而不是一个盒子 |
| [00:11] | I made a reservation and everything | 我预定了座位 |
| [00:13] | and I cannot wait for you to open up | 我等不及要你打开 |
| [00:15] | – Oh, I’m dying. – this b-day gift.It’s so good. | -我要死了 -生日礼物了 超赞 |
| [00:18] | I don’t know. | 我也不知道 |
| [00:19] | 23 is such a nothing birthday, though, you know, like… | 23岁是个很平庸的生日 你知道 |
| [00:22] | – No. – 22, you graduate college. | -不知道 -22岁 从大学毕业 |
| [00:24] | 21, you’re suddenly allowed to be an alcoholic. | 21岁 到了合法饮酒的年龄 |
| [00:27] | – 20, you lose your virginity. – Right. | -20岁 破处 -嗯 |
| [00:29] | 19’s your last teen year. | 19岁是青春期最后一年 |
| [00:31] | 18, you get to vote. | 18岁 可以投票 |
| [00:32] | 17, you get to drive. | 17岁 可以开车 |
| [00:33] | 16’s your sweet 16, 15’s your quinceanera. | 16岁是花样年华 15岁是成人礼 |
| [00:35] | – See? – I guess. | -明白吗 -也许吧 |
| [00:36] | 23 was pretty great for me, I mean, it’s the year I met you. | 23岁对我来说挺好的 我在那年遇到了你 |
| [00:39] | Really? | 是吗 |
| [00:40] | Oh, my god. | 我的天 |
| [00:41] | Oh, my… | 吓死了 |
| [00:43] | – Tree man. – Oh, my damn god. | -树人 -我嘞个去 |
| [00:45] | Every time he gets me, every time. | 每次都能把我吓到 |
| [00:47] | He needs a little bell. | 他需要一个铃铛 |
| [00:48] | Or like, a personal triangle he’s playing all the time. | 或者一个三角铁 |
| [00:51] | He could cause a heart attack. | 他能让你犯心脏病 |
| [00:53] | For real, though, this wine, | 讲真 这红酒 |
| [00:54] | this like, pricey, high-class wine | 昂贵高级的红酒 |
| [00:56] | is setting up your entire year. | 能给你整个一年奠定基调 |
| [00:59] | If we weren’t going to this BYOB, I mean, | 如果我们不去这个BYOB[自带酒水派对]的话 |
| [01:01] | this would be like, 30 bucks. | 得花30块 |
| [01:02] | I know, I love a “BYOB”. | 是啊 我喜欢BYOB |
| [01:04] | I love a “BYOF”– bring your own food, or a | 我喜欢BYOF 自带食物 或者 |
| [01:06] | “BYOS”– bring your own silverware. | BYOS 自带餐具 |
| [01:08] | I’d wash the dishes if they’d let me. | 如果他们允许的话 我愿意洗碗 |
| [01:09] | This is the exact opposite reason why | 这正是餐厅存在的 |
| [01:11] | restaurants exist at all. | 相反原因 |
| [01:12] | I mean, why not just eat at home? | 为什么不直接在家吃 |
| [01:14] | I don’t have a table. | 我没有桌子 |
| [01:15] | You girls are so pretty. | 你们真漂亮 |
| [01:17] | You should smile. | 该笑起来 |
| [01:39] | So, I’ve been spending all morning writing out my will. | 我今天早上一直在写遗嘱 |
| [01:42] | My dad said it’s never too early, and I agree. | 我爸说这种事永远不嫌早 我同意 |
| [01:44] | Ilana, you’re only 23, dude. | 阿拉娜 你才23岁 |
| [01:46] | Okay, you know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [01:48] | My people plan for death, Abbi. | 我的人会对死亡制定计划 艾比 |
| [01:50] | I’m Jewish too. | 我也是犹太人 |
| [01:51] | Okay, but you’re a Mainline Jew. | 但你是主线区犹太人 |
| [01:54] | New York Jews wake up every day | 纽约犹太人每天醒来 |
| [01:56] | just thinking about how they’re going to die. | 就会想着他们会怎么死掉 |
| [01:59] | I think about death. | 我也会思考死亡 |
| [02:01] | Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex. | 性 性 性 性 性 |
| [02:04] | Sex is right. | 性就对了 |
| [02:05] | Oh, my goodness. | 天啊 |
| [02:07] | You wrote your will on a napkin? | 你把遗嘱写在餐巾纸上 |
| [02:09] | I made copies, obviously. Come on. | 显然我有复印 拜托 |
| [02:13] | I know, how have I never had edamame? | 就是说啊 我怎么会从没吃过青豆 |
| [02:15] | I know! How has it ever– | 是啊 怎么会 |
| [02:16] | It’s always on the table. | 永远都在桌上 |
| [02:19] | Hold up– you gave me power of attorney? | 等等 你委托我代表你行使你的合法权益 |
| [02:21] | I need you to be able to fight against my killer or whatever, | 我需要你对抗杀我的人 |
| [02:24] | and then option the rights. | 然后权衡我的权利 |
| [02:26] | I also am looking into a few mutual funds | 同时我还在观望几个互惠基金 |
| [02:28] | and I’m having some, um… | 我在鉴定 |
| [02:30] | valuables appraised. | 一些贵重物品的价值 |
| [02:34] | – Are you talking about the Beanie Babies? – Don’t! | -你说的是豆豆娃吗 -打住 |
| [02:37] | Stop, I can’t even talk about this. | 我没法说这个 |
| [02:39] | – They’re– – with the flamingo one? | -它们 -火烈鸟吗 |
| [02:41] | Dude, I can’t even– | 我真的不行 |
| [02:42] | There is still some value there, | 还是有些价值的 |
| [02:43] | especially in the ones that like, commemorate events, okay? | 尤其是纪念活动里的那些 好吗 |
| [02:46] | It’s cyclical, the market is cyclical. | 市场是有周期的 |
| [02:47] | Maybe you– you don’t know about the market. | 或许你不了解市场 |
| [02:50] | But it’s cyclical. | 它是有周期的 |
| [02:50] | You’re getting into like, the ebay beanie baby game? | 你开始在易趣上卖豆豆娃了吗 |
| [02:53] | Yeah, baby, it’s a whole other math game. | 是的 全新的数学游戏 |
| [02:55] | – I’ve got a math head. – All right, listen. Math mind. | -我有数学大脑 -听着 数学达人 |
| [02:59] | I’m all for wills. | 我支持你写遗嘱 |
| [03:00] | I think it’s a good idea | 我觉得是个好主意 |
| [03:01] | even though I think you’re very young. | 尽管我觉得你很年轻 |
| [03:02] | But people get crazy about material possessions | 但人们对物质财富的态度近乎疯狂 |
| [03:04] | and it’s like, who even owns anything these days anyway? | 而现如今人人都一无所有 |
| [03:08] | Can you please spare a dollar? | 能给我一块钱吗 |
| [03:10] | – Yeah. – I just wanna to get some food. | -嗯 -我想买点吃的 |
| [03:12] | – Good luck. – Thank you. Yeah. | -祝你好运 -谢谢 |
| [03:13] | – Appreciate it. – Bless. I hope it helps. | -谢谢 -保佑 希望能帮到你 |
| [03:16] | Oh, my god, we are… | 天啊 我们 |
| [03:18] | Can I get a buck? | 能给我一块吗 |
| [03:20] | Oh, sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [03:21] | But you just gave her a buck. | 可你们才给了她一块 |
| [03:24] | We can’t give everyone on the block a dollar. | 我们不能给街区上的每个人一块 |
| [03:27] | Well, actually, you could. | 实际上 你们可以 |
| [03:28] | You just don’t want to. | 你们只是不想 |
| [03:29] | Actually, we couldn’t, because we’re going to the Meat Sack | 实际上 我们不能 因为我们要去肉包餐厅 |
| [03:31] | and it’s a cash-only restaurant. | 那里只收现金 |
| [03:33] | That must be nice. | 一定很棒吧 |
| [03:35] | Okay, we could bring you our leftovers, after. | 我们可以把剩下的带给你们 |
| [03:37] | I was gonna have them for lunch… | 我打算午餐吃的 |
| [03:39] | Oh, really? ’cause that would be so generous of you. | 真的吗 你真是太慷慨了 |
| [03:42] | Oh, it’s no problem. I’m glad we– | 客气 我很开心我们 |
| [03:43] | Okay, he’s being sarcastic. | 好了 他是在讽刺你 |
| [03:47] | Michelle, party of two. | 蜜雪儿 两位 |
| [03:48] | Michelle, party of two. | 蜜雪儿 两位 |
| [03:50] | Three, two, one. | 三二一 |
| [03:53] | Okay, you lose. | 没你位置了 |
| [03:55] | I have a reservation. It’s under, uh… | 我有预定 是以 |
| [03:58] | – You’re my next two-top.- Great. | -下面就是你了 -很好 |
| [04:01] | A’ight? Hope you’re hungry. | 希望你很饿 |
| [04:03] | Get the stomach stretched. | 准备好大快朵颐 |
| [04:05] | I cannot wait. I love me some dumplings. | 我等不及了 我好想吃饺子 |
| [04:08] | It’s like a squirrel clutch with a meatball in it. | 就像装了个肉丸子的松鼠手袋 |
| [04:11] | Little Wayne, party of two. | 小韦恩 两位 |
| [04:14] | Oh, my god, Weezy’s here. He is so real. | 天啊 Weezy来了 他超真实的 |
| [04:17] | No, that’s us. | 不 是我们 |
| [04:20] | We… are Little Wayne. | 我们是小韦恩 |
| [04:24] | Oh, you are sweeping me off my feet. | 你真是让我神魂颠倒 |
| [04:28] | Oh, yum. Oh, my god. | 真香 天啊 |
| [04:36] | You can get as many dumplings as you want, okay? | 你可以尽情吃饺子 |
| [04:38] | – Oh, my god! – Oh, my god! | -我的天 -我的天 |
| [04:41] | Oh, my god! | 我的天 |
| [04:42] | Yo, girlfriends. | 女朋友们 |
| [04:44] | Hey… Long time, no freakin’ see. | 好久不见 |
| [04:46] | Look at you two! | 瞧瞧你俩 |
| [04:47] | Couple of Madonnas, huh? | 两个麦当娜 |
| [04:49] | Oh, gosh, so fashion, baby. | 好时髦 |
| [04:51] | I love that! | 好喜欢 |
| [04:52] | How are you guys? Yeah. | 你们怎么样 |
| [04:55] | When was the last time we saw you? | 我们上次见面是什么时候 |
| [04:56] | I think it was at our show… | 好像是在我们的节目上 |
| [04:58] | – Yeah. – …With Elliott. | -对啊 -和艾略特一起 |
| [05:00] | – It was our Show Choir show. – Yeah. | -是我们的合唱团表演 -对 |
| [05:05] | It was a long time ago. | 很久以前了 |
| [05:06] | Can I ask you, do you live in New York | 我能问问 你们是住在纽约 |
| [05:08] | or did you move, because you never respond | 还是搬走了 因为你们从不回复 |
| [05:10] | to any of my Facebook, uh, invites. | 我的Facebook邀请 |
| [05:13] | I get so confused on Facebook. | 我玩不来Facebook |
| [05:15] | – Me too! – Like, how it works. | -我也是 -不知道怎么用 |
| [05:16] | – What are all the numbers – I know! | -那些数字都是什么 -是啊 |
| [05:17] | and the things? I don’t know what they go with. | 还有那些东西 不知道代表什么 |
| [05:20] | It’s kind of change– it changes fast, the interface. | 界面换得很快 |
| [05:23] | – I’m afraid to click it. – Yes. | -我都不敢点 -是的 |
| [05:24] | You know, I’m actually, I’m really kind of sad | 我其实挺伤心 |
| [05:26] | – that you guys missed my last solo performance. – Yeah. | -你们错过了我上次个人表演 -嗯 |
| [05:30] | We’re so sorry that that happened. | 我们很遗憾 |
| [05:33] | We don’t even know you guys that well. | 我们跟你们根本不熟 |
| [05:35] | Honestly, Chris, I feel like you should give them some of it. | 克里斯 你该给她们展示下 |
| [05:37] | You should show them a little bit. | 你该表演点什么 |
| [05:38] | Give them a little piece, a taste. | 让她们欣赏一下 |
| [05:41] | Oh, you don’t have to do that. | 没必要 |
| [05:42] | – You don’t have to. – We’re at dinner. | -不用了 -我们在吃晚餐 |
| [05:44] | I was born the day the Challenger exploded. | 我在挑战者号爆炸那天出生 |
| [05:47] | Honey, no. No, no, no. | 亲爱的 别演这个 |
| [05:48] | Do the ending, do the climax. | 唱结尾 高潮部分 |
| [05:50] | Do “Dear uncle”. | 唱”亲爱的叔叔” |
| [05:53] | Um, please suspend your sense of disbelief, uh, | 请暂停你们难以置信的感觉 |
| [05:55] | as the lighting here is not good and it’s not a theater, | 因为这里的灯光不是很好 不是剧院 |
| [05:57] | but all the world is a stage. | 但全世界都是舞台 |
| [05:59] | Here we go. | 开始了 |
| [06:01] | No, uncle, please, don’t! | 不 叔叔 别 |
| [06:04] | Okay, so he is on stage, he’s fully naked, | 他现在舞台上 全裸 |
| [06:07] | and he’s maximum erect. | 完全勃起 |
| [06:09] | Uncle, please, don’t do it, uncle! | 叔叔 求你别这么做 叔叔 |
| [06:12] | Okay, he’s standing on a shredded American flag, little pieces. | 他站在一面粉碎的美国国旗上 小碎片 |
| [06:16] | Uncle, uncle Sam! | 叔叔 山姆大叔[美国] |
| [06:19] | He ejaculates! | 他射了 |
| [06:21] | – Into the flag. – Yes. | -射到旗子上 -是的 |
| [06:24] | That’s the twist. | 转折就是这个啊 |
| [06:26] | – It’s a bit of a statement. – Yeah. | -算是一种声明 -嗯 |
| [06:28] | It’s like, about currency and politics and government | 关于货币 政治 政府 |
| [06:30] | and all that. | 等等 |
| [06:32] | Um, we can push your tables together | 我们可以把你们的桌子拼在一起 |
| [06:33] | and then maybe you can talk a little bit quieter. | 然后你们就可以小声点说话 |
| [06:34] | No, please don’t. | 拜托不要 |
| [06:35] | Ecuse me, sir. That’s a great idea! | 先生 这主意太棒了 |
| [06:37] | – Yes! – Yes! | -棒 -棒 |
| [06:38] | – Here we go. – Here we go. | -来吧 -来吧 |
| [06:48] | This is a good group. | 我们是个好的组合 |
| [06:52] | Oh, my… Holy . | 我的天 |
| [06:53] | What the heck? | 搞什么 |
| [06:54] | What the ? | 搞什么 |
| [06:55] | I’m such a klutz, we have to go. | 我真是个笨蛋 我们得走了 |
| [06:57] | Now we gotta go, is what… | 我们得走了 |
| [07:00] | – It is…We gotta… – We have to go. | -这 我们得 -我们得走了 |
| [07:02] | – Gotta go, we gotta go. – Oh, my god. | -得走了 得走了 -天啊 |
| [07:04] | I can’t be out. | 我不能出来 |
| [07:06] | – I can’t be out like this. – We have to go, | -我不能这样出来 -我们得走了 |
| [07:07] | – that’s… Sorry, everybody. – I should go home right now. | -这 抱歉 各位 -我得马上回家 |
| [07:10] | This is never gonna come out! | 这个永远也洗不掉了 |
| [07:12] | – Let’s go. Let’s do it. – Here we go. | -我们走吧 -走吧 |
| [07:14] | Wait, you can’t leave with an open container. | 等等 你们不能把开了瓶的酒带走 |
| [07:18] | – Okay. – Okay. | -好的 -好的 |
| [07:20] | We will not do that. | 我们不会这样做 |
| [07:21] | You guys know wine is heart healthy, so… | 你们知道红酒对心脏有好处 |
| [07:25] | – Mm-hmm, and… – Here we go. Just do that. | -然后 -干了 |
| [07:41] | Oh… Oh, my god. | 我的天 |
| [07:44] | – You have a good– – California, I can tell. | -你们 -这是加州的 我能喝出来 |
| [07:48] | You have a good rest of your night. | 你们今晚好好享受 |
| [07:49] | – Sayonara. – Bye, you guys. – See you guys. | -撒有拉拉 -再见 -再见 |
| [07:53] | I’m sorry, but they are too much. | 不好意思 但她们戏太多了 |
| [07:56] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [07:59] | Scott Wolf, party of five. | 斯科特·沃尔夫 五位 |
| [08:02] | Scott Wolf? | 斯科特·沃尔夫 |
| [08:05] | Where are the leftovers? | 剩菜呢 |
| [08:06] | It was… Honestly too annoying. | 里面太恼人了 |
| [08:08] | We didn’t even order. | 我们没点餐 |
| [08:10] | Too annoying? | 太恼人 |
| [08:11] | Must be nice. | 一定很棒吧 |
| [08:12] | Must… Be… Nice. | 一定 很 棒吧 |
| [08:20] | Must be nice! | 一定很棒吧 |
| [08:22] | Jeez. | 老天 |
| [08:23] | I feel bad. | 我感觉很内疚 |
| [08:25] | You know, runaway teens have it so tough. | 离家出走的未成年挺不容易的 |
| [08:28] | He probably came out to his family, they kicked him out, | 他可能向家人出柜 然后被赶出家门 |
| [08:32] | so he hopped a boxcar from Oklahoma | 所以他在俄克拉荷马跳上一辆货车 |
| [08:34] | and now he’s turning tricks on St. Mark’s. | 如今在圣马可街上站街 |
| [08:38] | You know, child sex trafficking is all around us. | 你知道 儿童性交易就在我们身边 |
| [08:41] | Wigs! | 假发 |
| [08:44] | Ab, I gotta go get a wig, it’s my birthday! | 小艾 我得去买个假发 今天是我生日 |
| [08:46] | All right, you go ahead. | 你去吧 |
| [08:46] | I’m going to this Thai place and see if there’s a wait. | 我去这家泰国餐馆看看 看用不用排号 |
| [08:48] | Dope. | 好 |
| [08:49] | Everyone’s like, “Where’s Christina, where’s Christina?” | 人人都在问 克里斯蒂娜呢 克里斯蒂娜呢 |
| [08:51] | I can’t keep saying you’re in the keys at your parents. | 我不能总说你在你父母家里 |
| [08:55] | What do you want me to say? | 你想我说什么 |
| [08:56] | “Oh, my girlfriend moved out seven weeks ago | 我女友七周前搬出去了 |
| [08:59] | “And I’m falling apart and my dick doesn’t work anymore, so…” | 我崩溃了 我的鸡鸡硬不起来了 |
| [09:02] | Dude. Christina moved out? | 哥们 克里斯蒂娜搬出去了 |
| [09:11] | What happened with the wigs? | 你的假发呢 |
| [09:12] | I got distracted by this business guido. | 我被这个意大利商人分散了注意力 |
| [09:16] | All right. I put our name in. | 我定好了 |
| [09:17] | 45 minutes, we’re in. | 再过45分钟就可以进去了 |
| [09:22] | I feel like every city has a parrot dude. | 我感觉每个城市都有个养鹦鹉的男人 |
| [09:25] | You ever see the guy with the cat on his head? | 你看到过那个把猫放在头上的男人吗 |
| [09:27] | Yeah, wonder if it ever touches the ground. | 不知道它有没有触地过 |
| [09:29] | If it does, that would be disgusting. | 如果触过 那就太恶心了 |
| [09:32] | Imagine if those two guys met. | 想象那两个男人相遇 |
| [09:33] | I think the parrot would win. | 我觉得鹦鹉男会赢 |
| [09:36] | God, I have such a wig face. It’s not even funny. | 天 我的脸太适合戴假发了 一点都不好玩 |
| [09:40] | This is the kind of wig you get buried in. | 下葬的时候就要戴这种假发 |
| [09:42] | Why would you want to get buried in a wig? | 你为什么想要下葬的时候戴假发 |
| [09:43] | It’s the last time people get to see you. | 那是人们最后一次见你 |
| [09:44] | Yeah, exactly, I want to look dope as at my funeral. | 没错 我想在我的葬礼上闪耀全场 |
| [09:48] | It’s my last party, you know? | 那是我最后一场派对 |
| [09:50] | I even made a playlist already. | 我已经做好歌单了 |
| [09:52] | It’s pretty much Rupaul’s “Supermodel” on repeat | 循环播放《鲁保罗变装皇后秀》的”超模” |
| [09:55] | and I need leather tissues. | 我需要皮革纸巾 |
| [09:58] | I also want everyone I’ve ever hooked up with | 我还想要和我打过炮的所有人 |
| [10:00] | to just jerk off together. | 一起打飞机 |
| [10:02] | That might bring me back to life. Seriously. | 那可能会让我死而复生 真的 |
| [10:05] | Yo, you should be careful. | 你注意点 |
| [10:06] | I just want like, a really nice funeral. | 我想要一个美好的葬礼 |
| [10:08] | You know, like, like, on a hill. | 在一座山冈上 |
| [10:11] | You know, like everyone would be really sad, | 大家都会很难过 |
| [10:13] | – like hill funerals usually are? – Yeah. | -山冈葬礼一般都这样 -嗯 |
| [10:15] | Everyone would be crying, | 大家都在哭 |
| [10:16] | maybe even hysterically, but then, then, | 甚至是歇斯底里那种哭 但之后 之后 |
| [10:20] | everyone has to go to Six Flags, my treat. | 大家都得去六旗主题公园 我请客 |
| [10:23] | That is genius! | 太有才了 |
| [10:24] | You can’t be upset at Six Flags, you can’t. | 你在六旗主题公园没法难过 |
| [10:25] | No, no. | 是的 |
| [10:26] | You can even “Weekend at Bernie’s” me, | 你甚至可以效仿《老板渡假去》的剧情 |
| [10:27] | but Ilana, no log flume, for real. | 不过阿拉娜 不要玩激流勇进 |
| [10:30] | How am I going to Bernie you if I’m already dead? | 我死了要怎么效仿《老板渡假去》 |
| [10:32] | No, I’m obviously dying first. | 不 显然我会先死 |
| [10:35] | No, the husband always dies first. | 不 先死的总是老公 |
| [10:37] | First of all, we’re not married. | 首先 我们没结婚 |
| [10:39] | Second of all, I’m the wife? | 第二 我是老婆 |
| [10:41] | You’re the other husband. | 你是另一个老公 |
| [10:42] | All right, agree to disagree. | 好吧 保留各自意见 |
| [10:44] | A to d. | 保各意 |
| [10:47] | Oh, my god. | 天啊 |
| [10:49] | I am definitely getting this. | 我要买下这衣服 |
| [10:51] | I am a female and I love to inspect bodies. | 我是女性 我喜欢检查身体 |
| [10:54] | Yeah, I think that’s what that stands for. | 嗯 好像就这个意思 |
| [10:55] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [10:56] | I’m getting this because I look like I’ve been stabbed. | 我要买这件 因为我看上去就像被捅了一样 |
| [10:59] | I look like I’m mid-death. | 我看上去像是要死了 |
| [11:02] | Challah back, y’all. | 回鸡蛋面包 |
| [11:03] | Challah back, y’all. | 回鸡蛋面包 |
| [11:05] | All right, I’ll take this and we’ll take these. | 我要这个 我们要这两件衣服 |
| [11:07] | Wigs are 10, shirts are a buck each. | 假发10块 T恤一块一件 |
| [11:10] | Here you go. | 给 |
| [11:13] | I love St. Mark’s. | 我爱圣马可街 |
| [11:17] | I’m alone! | 我一个人 |
| [11:20] | – So sad. – Been there. | -好可怜 -感同身受 |
| [11:22] | All right, so we can eat as many dumplings as you want… | 我们可以想吃多少饺子就吃多少 |
| [11:23] | – ..Whatever kind. – Thank you. . Dude. | -任何口味 -谢谢你 |
| [11:28] | That girl just did a tongue thing. | 那女生刚才抖舌头 |
| [11:30] | – A tongue thing? – Yeah! | -抖舌头 -是的 |
| [11:31] | Hey, what’d you do? | 你做了什么 |
| [11:33] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [11:33] | Yeah, it was like… | 像这样 |
| [11:35] | No, it wasn’t. | 不是的 |
| [11:38] | I just, I was just like, cute… | 我只是 我只是说了 可爱 |
| [11:40] | You know, I’m not trying to start a whole conversation. | 我没想聊天 |
| [11:43] | You are seriously beautiful, like, | 你很漂亮 |
| [11:46] | really, really beautiful. | 真的很漂亮 |
| [11:49] | No, you are. | 你才是 |
| [11:52] | Holy shit ! | 我去 |
| [11:53] | Hey! Ilana, your gift! | 阿拉娜 你的礼物 |
| [11:57] | Stop him, he took our bag! | 拦住他 他抢了我们的包 |
| [12:02] | Drop the bag, you . | 放下包 王八蛋 |
| [12:03] | When I catch you, I swear I’m going to rip out | 等我抓到你 我发誓我要 |
| [12:05] | your disgusting little ball sack | 撕烂你恶心的阴囊 |
| [12:07] | until you throw up your own dick! | 直到你把你老二吐出来 |
| [12:09] | Damn it! | 该死 |
| [12:10] | Stop, we’re the FBI, bitch! | 站住 我们是联调局的 贱人 |
| [12:12] | Hey, watch it! | 看路 |
| [12:13] | Stop that guy! | 拦住他 |
| [12:15] | Watch out, watch out! | 小心 小心 |
| [12:29] | My wig! | 我的假发 |
| [12:29] | Leave it, leave it! | 别管了 别管了 |
| [12:32] | Market, market– go! | 市场 市场 快 |
| [12:41] | Split up! | 分头追 |
| [12:46] | Asshole. | 混蛋 |
| [12:50] | Go around, go around! Oh, . | 绕过去 绕过去 |
| [12:59] | Where is he? Oh, my god. | 他人呢 我的天 |
| [13:00] | He just ran down here, I… | 他刚朝这边跑过来了 |
| [13:02] | Go, there, there! | 那边 那边 |
| [13:39] | Drop it, you face, I swear I’ll rip– | 放下 王八蛋 我发誓我要撕烂你的 |
| [13:41] | – Come on, asshole! – Ball sack! | -快 混蛋 -阴囊 |
| [13:47] | Jesus. | 我日 |
| [13:51] | All right, okay. | 好的 |
| [13:55] | Hopefully no one will take that. | 希望没人捡走 |
| [13:56] | – Okay. – Oh, I have a lot in here. | -好了 -里面有不少钱 |
| [13:59] | Okay? | 上去了吗 |
| [14:00] | Okay. | 上去了 |
| [14:03] | Dude, he’s going into a house! | 他跑进了一栋房子 |
| [14:06] | – Come on! – All right. | -快 -好 |
| [14:08] | Okay, he’s getting away. | 他跑走了 |
| [14:09] | Okay, here we go, I need just one– | 好 我只需要一个 |
| [14:12] | All right, you got it, and | 你可以的 |
| [14:14] | – This is uncomfortable. – then I just straddled.I know. | -这姿势很不舒服 -我是把两腿叉开 我知道 |
| [14:16] | I don’t feel like I wanna… | 我感觉我不想 |
| [14:18] | You know what? | 知道吗 |
| [14:20] | I’m gonna go back down through the kitchen, | 我下去从厨房走 |
| [14:21] | and I’m gonna be so fast, | 我会很快的 |
| [14:23] | and it’s gonna be so good, | 会很顺利 |
| [14:24] | and we’re gonna get the gift! | 我们会夺回礼物 |
| [14:37] | Can I help you? | 有什么需要帮助的吗 |
| [14:38] | A guy just ran in here. | 刚有个人跑进这里了 |
| [14:39] | We were chasing him ’cause he stole my gift. | 我们在追他 因为他偷了我的礼物 |
| [14:42] | He stole my bag. Call the police. | 他偷了我的包 快报警 |
| [14:43] | He stole it right out of my hand. | 他从我手里抢走的 |
| [14:44] | He’s in here, he’s in your house. | 他就在这 在你家里 |
| [14:45] | Please, come in. | 请进 |
| [14:47] | Okay. | 好 |
| [14:52] | Timothy. | 蒂莫西 |
| [14:53] | Can you please come down here? | 你能下来吗 |
| [14:56] | Timothy. | 蒂莫西 |
| [14:57] | That boy lives here? | 那男孩住在这儿 |
| [14:59] | Boy? He’s 34 years old. | 男孩 他都34了 |
| [15:02] | I had him when I was very young. | 我很年轻的时候生下他的 |
| [15:04] | Timothy. | 蒂莫西 |
| [15:05] | Timothy! | 蒂莫西 |
| [15:07] | Jesus christ. What, mother? | 老天 干什么 妈 |
| [15:09] | Can you explain yourself? | 你能解释下吗 |
| [15:12] | Did you just steal something from these girls? | 你刚偷了这两个女生的东西吗 |
| [15:14] | Yeah, it was a joke. Chill out. | 玩笑而已 淡定 |
| [15:17] | You chill out! | 你才淡定 |
| [15:18] | Chill out! | 淡定 |
| [15:19] | And get their stuff now. | 马上把她们东西交出来 |
| [15:22] | Now! | 赶紧的 |
| [15:24] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [15:26] | Please, don’t press charges. | 请别提起指控 |
| [15:29] | No, it’s gonna… It’s all right. | 不 没什么 |
| [15:31] | Ever since he dropped out of grad school, | 自从他从研究生院辍学后 |
| [15:34] | he’s, uh, he’s given me a lot of grief. | 他就给我添了很多麻烦 |
| [15:39] | I don’t know what to do– throw him out, | 我不知道该怎么办 赶他出去 |
| [15:40] | put him on the street. He’d love that. | 让他沦落街头 他巴不得 |
| [15:43] | I’m so rude. | 我真无礼 |
| [15:45] | Would you… | 你们 |
| [15:49] | Would you, uh, like a drink? | 你们要喝点什么吗 |
| [15:51] | – No, no, no. – It’s fine. | -不用 -没事 |
| [15:57] | It’s a soft gift, so it’s okay. | 礼物是软的 所以没事 |
| [15:58] | Timothy! | 蒂莫西 |
| [16:00] | What is wrong with you? | 你什么毛病 |
| [16:02] | I don’t know, mom. Why don’t you tell me? | 我不知道 妈 要不你来告诉我吧 |
| [16:03] | You’re the psychiatrist. | 毕竟你是心理医生 |
| [16:05] | Or do I need to make an appointment? | 还是我需要跟你预约下 |
| [16:06] | Maybe you should. | 或许你该这么做 |
| [16:08] | But you can’t afford me | 但你付不起我 |
| [16:10] | because you don’t work. | 因为你不工作 |
| [16:14] | You love this, don’t you? | 你喜欢这样 对吧 |
| [16:16] | You think I like this? | 你以为我喜欢吗 |
| [16:18] | My only son. | 我唯一的儿子 |
| [16:19] | Having to lie to my friends about | 我不得不就我儿子是做什么的 |
| [16:22] | what my son does with his life? | 跟我的朋友撒谎 |
| [16:24] | He’s a loser, loser, loser, | 他是个废物 废物 废物 |
| [16:27] | loser, loser, loser, loser, loser life. | 废物 废物 废物 废物 废物人生 |
| [16:32] | Loser. | 废物 |
| [16:33] | Right, ’cause you have to lie about me | 对 因为你不得不撒关于我的谎 |
| [16:34] | but not about anything in your perfect little life. | 你的完美生活就不用了 |
| [16:37] | Not about the wine, the painkillers, my father. | 还有酗酒 止痛药 我爸 |
| [16:40] | Do I look like the son of a quarterback? | 我看着像是个四分卫的儿子吗 |
| [16:43] | I will… | 我要 |
| [16:44] | I never asked to be born! | 我根本没想来到这个世上 |
| [16:54] | Let me tell you something. | 我跟你们说 |
| [16:56] | I’m a very good mother, it’s just sometimes… | 我是个好母亲 只是有时候 |
| [16:59] | You get a dud! | 你会遇到一个废物 |
| [17:02] | A dud! | 一个该死的废物 |
| [17:05] | I’m just going to grab… | 我去拿 |
| [17:09] | I’m sorry your son sucks so hard. | 我很同情你儿子这么差劲 |
| [17:14] | Thank you, thank you. | 谢谢 谢谢 |
| [17:18] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [17:20] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [17:24] | We’re good, we’re good, thanks so much. | 没事了 非常感谢 |
| [17:27] | Thank you so much. | 非常感谢 |
| [17:28] | – Have a great night. – Appreciate it. | -玩得开心 -谢谢 |
| [17:30] | You look beautiful, and come back and see me. | 你们很漂亮 有空回来看我 |
| [17:33] | – Will you come back and see me? – Yes. | -你们会回来看我吗 -会的 |
| [17:35] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [17:42] | Jesus. | 我晕 |
| [17:42] | I wonder if they own or rent. | 不知道他们房子是买的还是租的 |
| [17:44] | Dude, I need to do more cardio. | 我得多进行有氧运动了 |
| [17:46] | I’m like, sore already. | 我浑身酸痛 |
| [17:48] | Jeez, you know… | 天 你知道 |
| [17:50] | Oh, my god! | 天啊 |
| [17:52] | – Tree man. – My wig! | -树人 -我的假发 |
| [17:53] | Oh, my god. | 天啊 |
| [17:55] | Thank you, tree man. | 谢谢你 树人 |
| [17:57] | Thank you so much. | 太谢谢了 |
| [17:58] | This is nice. | 这真好 |
| [17:59] | You’re like the giving tree in real life. | 你就像是现实生活里的爱心树 |
| [18:03] | – All right! – Okay. | -好吧 -好吧 |
| [18:05] | You piece of . | 你个垃圾 |
| [18:08] | I will car. | 我要砸烂你的车 |
| [18:10] | I will . | 我要 |
| [18:12] | I’m a tree, damn it. | 我是棵树 该死 |
| [18:14] | I was here first, car. | 我先来的 车子 |
| [18:16] | I was here first! | 我先来的 |
| [18:18] | – Thanks for the wig. – Thanks so much. | -谢谢帮我捡回假发 -谢谢 |
| [18:20] | Have a good night. | 晚上愉快 |
| [18:27] | Oh my God. This is the best gift ever. | 天啊 这真是史上最棒的礼物 |
| [18:31] | This is the most powerful and beautiful blanket | 这是艾滋被子之后 |
| [18:33] | since the aids quilt. | 最有力最美的毛毯 |
| [18:35] | Good. | 那就好 |
| [18:37] | I love pizza, dude. | 我爱披萨 |
| [18:39] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [18:40] | It’s a squirrel sleeping bag, unzipped. | 就像没拉拉链的松鼠睡袋 |
| [18:43] | Yes, it is. | 是的 |
| [18:44] | All right, listen. | 听着 |
| [18:45] | So, my family has a tradition on birthdays | 我家在生日这天有个传统 |
| [18:48] | where we ask the b-day-ee a couple questions. | 我们会问寿星几个问题 |
| [18:51] | Are you ready? | 准备好了吗 |
| [18:52] | Ilana, 23-year-old. | 阿拉娜 23岁 |
| [18:55] | What have you done this past year that you’re proud of? | 过去这一年你做了什么你引以为傲的事 |
| [18:58] | And what are you gonna do this upcoming year? | 新的一年你又打算做什么 |
| [19:01] | – Go. – Okay, well… | -回答 -这个 |
| [19:03] | I am proud of the time I saw something and said something. | 我很骄傲我看到什么就把自己的想法说出来 |
| [19:07] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [19:09] | I’m proud that I finally felt a prostate. | 我很骄傲我终于体会到了前列腺高潮 |
| [19:12] | It’s tricky. | 很需要技巧 |
| [19:15] | I’m proud that I used a lemon | 我很骄傲我成功 |
| [19:17] | successfully as antiperspirant. | 使用柠檬做止汗药 |
| [19:20] | – Yes I did, yes I did. – Mm-hmm, yeah. | -没错 没错 -嗯 |
| [19:22] | And next year, I want to finish a book– | 明年我想完成一本书 |
| [19:27] | Reading, not writing. | 看不是写 |
| [19:29] | I want to gradually lower my dosage of antidepressants. | 我想逐渐减少我抗抑郁药的剂量 |
| [19:32] | And I want to join Ancestry.com. | 我还想加入Ancestry.com |
| [19:34] | Oh, I’m in. | 我也要 |
| [19:36] | – Dude. – Let’s do it. | -姐们 -就这么定了 |
| [19:37] | Okay, how about you? | 好 那你呢 |
| [19:38] | Well, it’s not my birthday. | 今天不是我生日 |
| [19:39] | Come on, it’s– I wanna hear it. | 拜托 我想听 |
| [19:41] | Okay. So, this past year, | 好吧 过去这年 |
| [19:42] | I’m proud that I finally finished “Damages,” so good. | 我很骄傲我终于看完了《裂痕》 超好看 |
| [19:45] | I really think you need to reconsider TV. | 我真觉得你该重新开始看电视剧 |
| [19:48] | What else? I pegged. | 还有什么 我倒插门了 |
| [19:51] | Like– | 就像 |
| [19:52] | Really outside of my | 完全出了我的 |
| [19:53] | – You know. – comfort level. | -你懂的 -舒适区 |
| [19:55] | Okay. I finally masturbated above the covers | 还有 我终于在睁着眼睛的情况下 |
| [19:58] | without my eyes being closed. | 在被子上自慰了 |
| [20:00] | That was a really big journal entry. | 这算是个很大的chengjiu |
| [20:04] | Um… When I figured out my eyebrows. | 我弄清了我的眉毛 |
| [20:05] | They’re sisters, they’re not twins. | 它们是姐妹 不是双胞胎 |
| [20:07] | – Right. – Need to be treated as such. | -对 -应该公平对待 |
| [20:08] | Overwhelming pride. | 无比自豪 |
| [20:11] | Okay, um, what about next year? | 那明年呢 |
| [20:15] | All right. | 好的 |
| [20:16] | I’m going to do one legit pull-up, | 我要做一次正规的引体向上 |
| [20:18] | for real this time. | 这次是真的 |
| [20:19] | And I really want to keep a plant alive | 我还希望能让一株植物 |
| [20:21] | for more than two weeks. | 活过两周 |
| [20:23] | You know, I’m going to do that. | 我会做到的 |
| [20:24] | Ooh, I forgot one. | 忘了一个 |
| [20:26] | I want to see a mangina from behind. | 我想从后面看男阴 |
| [20:27] | I haven’t in years. | 我好多年没见过了 |
| [20:29] | What? | 什么 |
| [20:31] | A mangina is when a guy pulls his dick through his legs, | 男阴就是一个男的把鸡鸡夹在双腿之间 |
| [20:33] | – it looks like a vagina. – I know, I know what a mangina is. | -看着就像阴道 -我知道男阴是什么 |
| [20:35] | What do you mean from behind? | 从后面看是什么意思 |
| [20:37] | I don’t know. It’s just, dick head and balls | 我也不知道 就是鸡鸡和蛋蛋 |
| [20:39] | squishing back there. It’s so cute! | 挤在后面 超萌 |
| [20:42] | Okay, I have another one. | 我又想到一个 |
| [20:44] | I want to get one of those really painful massages | 我想去做那种超痛的按摩 |
| [20:46] | where there’s like, an old Russian woman who like, | 一个俄国老女人 |
| [20:48] | slaps huge leaves at you while you’re like, completely naked. | 用巨大的树叶扇你的裸体 |
| [20:52] | I just feel like I need to feel more of life’s pain. | 我觉得我需要更多地感受生活的痛楚 |
| [20:56] | I hate pain. | 我讨厌痛 |
| [20:57] | I love pleasure. | 我喜欢快感 |
| [21:06] | – I know, how have I never had edamame? – I know. | -我怎么会从没吃过青豆 -就是说啊 |
| [21:09] | – And you probably never had edamame. – I have never, I had sushi, | -你说不定从没吃过青豆 -我没有 我吃过寿司 |
| [21:11] | but I thought it was decoration. | 但我以为那是装饰 |