| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Jaime, thank you so much again for getting us this coat check gig. | 海眉 再次谢谢你帮我们联系到这个衣帽寄存的活 |
| [00:05] | – For real. – Seriously. | -真的 -真的 |
| [00:06] | Of course, my babies. | 客气什么 宝贝们 |
| [00:07] | So, there’s a big rush at the beginning | 在开始和结束时 |
| [00:10] | and at the end of the night. | 人会比较多 |
| [00:11] | But for the rest of the time, you just get to chill in the closet. | 其余时间 你们都可以在衣橱间里放松 |
| [00:14] | Kind of like me in high school. | 就跟我上高中时一样 |
| [00:16] | I had a lot of fun though. | 不过我当时玩得很开心 |
| [00:18] | Here they come, okay. Best of luck, ladies– ciao. | 他们来了 祝你们好运 拜拜 |
| [00:23] | I think I saw this coat on “Who wore it best”. | 我好像在”谁穿得最好看”上见过这件大衣 |
| [00:26] | Guess who wore it best? You. | 猜猜谁穿得最好看 你 |
| [00:42] | Is this bad? | 这样做算坏吗 |
| [00:44] | Who cares? | 谁管呢 |
| [00:45] | Oh, no. | 不 |
| [00:47] | I go to sleep dreaming about caffeine enemas. | 我做梦都梦到用咖啡灌肠 |
| [00:52] | My god. | 天啊 |
| [00:53] | I have fake boobs! | 我有假胸 |
| [00:57] | Although, if somebody wants to get it, | 不过如果谁想隆胸的话 |
| [00:58] | – it’s like, do your thing. – No, I agree. Exactly. | -尽管去 不评判 -我同意 没错 |
| [01:01] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [01:02] | I’ma do one. Okay. | 我要来一个 |
| [01:06] | Silly Benny. | 蠢本尼 |
| [01:07] | Get me another serving of American bald eagle | 再给我上一份美国白头海雕 |
| [01:10] | and then stomp on my balls with high heels, please. | 然后穿着高跟鞋踩在我的蛋上 拜托了 |
| [01:13] | Thank you! | 谢谢 |
| [01:14] | Oh, my! | 天啊 |
| [01:17] | Oh, my god. | 我的天 |
| [01:19] | I love how working moves my bowels. | 工作让我肠道畅通 太棒了 |
| [01:20] | – You want me to facetime from the bathroom? – Yeah. | -你要我在厕所里和你视频吗 -嗯 |
| [01:22] | Cool– just switch to wifi. | 酷 用无线网 |
| [01:24] | Okay, I was kidding. | 我开玩笑的 |
| [01:25] | Abbi. | 艾比 |
| [01:30] | I am… the guardian of the coats. | 我是大衣守卫 |
| [01:46] | – Thank you. – Yep. | -谢谢 -嗯 |
| [01:52] | Thank you. I’m also working the event tonight. | 谢谢 我今天也在这工作 |
| [01:55] | Coat check. | 衣帽寄存处 |
| [01:56] | Working for the man, right? | 给老板工作 是吧 |
| [02:02] | I’ll see you. | 回见 |
| [02:02] | I’ll probably see you again– yeah. | 我多半还会再见到你 |
| [02:39] | Ab. Ab, Ab, Ab. | 小艾 小艾 |
| [02:41] | Abbi? | 艾比 |
| [02:42] | Prank! Yes! | 恶作剧 |
| [02:43] | Dude. I just saw the hottest girl I have ever seen. | 我刚看到了一个我见过的最性感的女生 |
| [02:47] | We had the most incredible spark. | 我们擦出了最炽热的火花 |
| [02:51] | You’re right– I have to find her. | 你说的是 我得找到她 |
| [02:53] | I didn’t say anything. | 我什么都没说 |
| [02:55] | Here, take my tickets. | 把我的小票拿上 |
| [02:57] | Wait– wait, wait, wait. | 等等 等等 |
| [02:58] | These are supposed to be with the coats. | 这些该跟大衣放一起的 |
| [03:00] | No. | 不 |
| [03:00] | We put the tickets in the tip jar at the end of the night. | 我们在最后把小票放在小费罐子里 |
| [03:03] | Then people find their matching ticket. | 然后他们来找到配对的小票 |
| [03:05] | That proves the coat’s theirs. | 证明大衣是他们的 |
| [03:06] | That’s how the coat check works. | 衣帽寄存处都是这样操作的 |
| [03:08] | No, that’s not how coat check works. | 不是的 |
| [03:09] | They’re supposed to be | 小票应该贴在 |
| [03:10] | on the hangers with the corresponding coat. | 相对应大衣的衣架上 |
| [03:12] | Thank you for always encouraging me to follow my heart. | 谢谢你总是鼓励我跟着感觉走 |
| [03:15] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [03:15] | Again, that’s not what I said. | 再次声明 我没这么说 |
| [03:18] | Fuck. | 操 |
| [03:20] | You guys. Fuck. | 你们 操 |
| [03:24] | Ladies? Any cheesecake? | 女士们 要奶酪蛋糕吗 |
| [03:29] | Hey, baby. | 亲爱的 |
| [03:30] | I just met the most beautiful stranger. | 我刚遇到了一个最美的陌生人 |
| [03:32] | I need to find her. | 我得找到她 |
| [03:34] | Okay, baby, you take this tray of the mini cannolis. | 你把这盘迷你卡诺里卷拿上 |
| [03:36] | Through the power of the italian dessert, she’ll come to you. | 凭借意大利甜点的力量 她会来找你的 |
| [03:41] | Genius. | 天才 |
| [03:42] | Good luck now. | 好运 |
| [03:46] | Excuse me, miss? | 你好 小姐 |
| [03:51] | Waitress! | 服务员 |
| [03:54] | We’re having fun, guys, right? | 我们在玩乐 对吗 |
| [03:55] | I mean, let’s just remember this is a charity event. | 记住这是个慈善活动 |
| [03:59] | All right, who’s got a Marc Jacobs peacoat? | 马克·雅各布的厚呢短大衣是谁的 |
| [04:01] | Oh, okay. | 好吧 |
| [04:02] | Small or medium? | 小号还是中号 |
| [04:04] | Small. | 小号 |
| [04:07] | It’s medium. | 我是中号 |
| [04:12] | I wear a medium, it’s not a big deal. | 我也穿中号 没什么的 |
| [04:15] | Who’s got the Chanel jacket? | 香奈儿夹克是谁的 |
| [04:17] | Mine! | 我的 |
| [04:19] | That was a trick question. | 这是个陷阱问题 |
| [04:20] | There is no Chanel. | 没有香奈儿 |
| [04:22] | Do not play me, guys! | 别耍我 各位 |
| [04:24] | Not today! | 尤其是今天 |
| [04:25] | Miss! Miss? | 小姐 小姐 |
| [04:37] | I was looking for you. | 我正找你呢 |
| [04:38] | Me too! | 我也是 |
| [04:57] | I’m Adele. | 我是阿黛尔 |
| [04:57] | I’m Ilana. | 我是阿拉娜 |
| [04:59] | Would you wanna split that cannoli? | 你愿意和我分享那块卡诺里卷吗 |
| [05:06] | You wanna get out of here? | 你想走吗 |
| [05:11] | There you go. Thanks. | 给 谢谢 |
| [05:13] | Hi there. | 你好 |
| [05:19] | Be cool. Be cool. | 淡定 淡定 |
| [05:20] | Be yourself, but be cool. | 做自己 淡定 |
| [05:21] | Okay, I’m just getting Kelly Ripa’s coat. | 我只是在拿凯莉·蕾帕的大衣 |
| [05:34] | All right. | 好了 |
| [05:36] | I brought a couple back. | 我拿回了好几件 |
| [05:38] | Check these out. | 你看看 |
| [05:40] | Hmmm, none of these are mine. | 都不是我的 |
| [05:42] | Could it still be back there? | 还在后面吗 |
| [05:45] | These are actually the only ones left. | 只剩这些了 |
| [05:48] | I’m so sorry. | 很抱歉 |
| [05:48] | I think someone took yours by accident. | 应该是有人不小心把你的拿走了 |
| [05:52] | Shit. | 靠 |
| [05:53] | I love that coat. | 我爱那件大衣 |
| [05:54] | Oh, shit. | 该死 |
| [05:57] | Wait, um, miss Ripa? | 等等 蕾帕小姐 |
| [06:00] | I promise you that I will– | 我保证我会 |
| [06:01] | I will get that coat back for you. | 我会帮你找回那件大衣 |
| [06:03] | ’cause we here in the coat room, | 因为我们衣帽寄存间 |
| [06:05] | we take these matters very seriously. | 非常看重这些事 |
| [06:06] | And by “we,” I mean me. | 我们实际上指我 |
| [06:08] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [06:09] | Um, here. | 给 |
| [06:10] | I’m gonna write down my information | 我把我的信息写下来 |
| [06:14] | in case it turns up, okay? | 如果找到了的话 |
| [06:16] | Wow, your, um, your handwriting is really beautiful. | 你的字真好看 |
| [06:20] | It’s like a seven-year-old. | 就像7岁小孩写的 |
| [06:21] | I’ve had a few. | 我喝了不少 |
| [06:23] | What’s your name again? | 你叫什么来着 |
| [06:24] | Oh, it’s Kelly. | 凯莉 |
| [06:27] | It’s Hope. | 霍普[希望] |
| [06:28] | It’s Faith. | 菲斯[信仰] |
| [06:30] | My name, um, is Abbi. | 我叫艾比 |
| [06:32] | That’s what my parents gave me. | 我父母给我取的 |
| [06:34] | – Okay. Well. – When I was born. | -好的 -在我出生的时候 |
| [06:36] | Nice to meet you. Thanks. | 很高兴认识你 谢谢 |
| [06:37] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [06:39] | You know, thank you for your talent | 谢谢你的才华 |
| [06:41] | and for your role modelness | 你树立的榜样 |
| [06:44] | and just being like, for being, you know– | 以及你作为 |
| [06:50] | I’m so sorry I messed up that whole coat thing. | 我很抱歉我搞砸了寄存大衣的事 |
| [06:52] | No. | 不 |
| [06:53] | Because you’re such a bobo, | 因为你的愚蠢 |
| [06:55] | I have the opportunity of a lifetime | 我有千载难逢的机会 |
| [06:57] | to find and return Kelly Ripa’s coat to her home, dude. | 去找到并归还凯莉·蕾帕的大衣到她家 |
| [07:02] | I mean, she, she’s America’s sweetheart. | 她是美国甜心 |
| [07:05] | I really feel like we just hit it off. | 我真心感觉我们很来电 |
| [07:07] | I’ma help you, b. | 我会帮你 |
| [07:08] | I’ma help you achieve. | 我会帮你实现愿望 |
| [07:10] | Oh, is that a hickey? | 那是吻痕吗 |
| [07:11] | It’s very seventh grade. | 好有小学生风格 |
| [07:12] | I know! | 是啊 |
| [07:14] | I had my first simultaneous orgasm last night | 我昨晚经历了第一次同时高潮 |
| [07:17] | and Adele and I only kissed. | 而我和阿黛尔只是接了吻 |
| [07:19] | I think this is what love might feel like. | 我觉得这就是爱情的感觉 |
| [07:22] | Oh, my god– empty lounge chairs! | 天啊 空的躺椅 |
| [07:23] | There’s never empty lounge chairs! | 躺椅上从来都有人 |
| [07:24] | Go, go, go, go! | 快快 |
| [07:25] | No, no, no! No! | 别别别 |
| [07:29] | All right. | 好了 |
| [07:30] | This is the last coat that was left at the event last night. | 这是昨晚剩下的最后一家大衣 |
| [07:33] | All we have to do is find this person, get Kelly’s coat, | 我们只需找到这人 拿到凯莉的大衣 |
| [07:36] | and then I can deliver it to her like, beautifully toned arms. | 然后我就可以送到她健壮美丽的手臂里 |
| [07:39] | Then I can die whenever. | 然后我就死而无憾了 |
| [07:41] | Not too soon, please. | 别死这么早 拜托 |
| [07:42] | Also, I found a clue. | 我还找到了一条线索 |
| [07:46] | Oh, my g– yaas! | 天啊 棒呆 |
| [07:56] | Welcome. | 欢迎 |
| [07:58] | Um, I think I have your coat. | 你的大衣好像在我这 |
| [08:01] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [08:02] | You’re not here for the orgy? | 你们不是来参加群P的吗 |
| [08:04] | – No. – Not really. | -不是 -不是 |
| [08:06] | Maureen! | 莫林 |
| [08:10] | Can I help you? | 有什么需要帮助的吗 |
| [08:11] | Hi, uh, I think you left your coat | 你好 你昨晚好像把你的大衣 |
| [08:12] | at the charity event last night. | 落在慈善活动上了 |
| [08:14] | No, that’s my ex’s. He moved out last week. | 不 那是我前任的 他上周搬出去了 |
| [08:18] | That’s why I’m having an orgy. | 所以我才办群P的 |
| [08:19] | I just felt so restricted in this relationship, you know? | 我在这段关系里感到很不自由 |
| [08:22] | We’ve been together how long? | 我们在一起很久了 |
| [08:23] | I still never saw his nipples. | 我还从没见过他乳头 |
| [08:24] | How does that happen? I don’t understand that. | 怎么会这样 我不懂 |
| [08:26] | Maureen! | 莫林 |
| [08:30] | Oh, sorry, I gotta dive back in there. | 抱歉 我得回去了 |
| [08:32] | Wait! Do you think you could give me his new address? | 等等 你能给我他的新地址吗 |
| [08:35] | ’cause I need to return this coat. | 因为我得归还这件大衣 |
| [08:37] | – It’s really important. – Fine. Fine. | -很重要 -行 行 |
| [08:39] | But could you drop off some stuff he left here? | 不过你能把他留在这的一些东西带给他吗 |
| [08:41] | I’m not leaving any time soon. | 我暂时都不会离开 |
| [08:43] | Okay. Sure. | 当然 |
| [08:43] | Cool, thanks. | 谢了 |
| [08:48] | Oh, wait. | 等等 |
| [08:51] | Forgot his civil war . | 忘了他的内战装备 |
| [08:54] | There’s a lot of people. Okay. | 好多人 |
| [09:00] | So this coat is yours. | 这件大衣是你的 |
| [09:02] | I’m so embarrassed I took the wrong coat. Sorry. | 好丢人 我拿错大衣了 抱歉 |
| [09:05] | Just one second. | 等一下 |
| [09:08] | So you met Maureen, huh? | 所以你见过莫林了 |
| [09:09] | She’s pretty phenomenal. | 她很出众 |
| [09:11] | We’re just on kind of a break right now, | 我们现在处于分居中 |
| [09:13] | but I got her favorite dinner | 但我给她准备了她最爱的晚餐 |
| [09:15] | and I think we’re going to work out all our issues tonight. | 我想今晚我们可以解决所有的问题 |
| [09:17] | Hope it wasn’t too much trouble. | 希望没有太麻烦你们 |
| [09:19] | Uh, no, I would have gone to so much worse ’cause, um, | 没有 我本来会更倒霉的 |
| [09:22] | That’s actually Kelly Ripa’s coat. | 那其实是凯莉·蕾帕的大衣 |
| [09:26] | This is Kelly Ripa’s coat? | 这是凯莉·蕾帕的大衣 |
| [09:30] | I’m an enormous Kelly Ripa fan. | 我是凯莉·蕾帕的铁粉 |
| [09:32] | – So is– – America’s sweetheart. | -全国 -美国甜心 |
| [09:34] | The nation. | 都是 |
| [09:35] | She’s my favorite. | 她是我的最爱 |
| [09:36] | I can’t give you the coat back, I’m sorry. | 我不能把大衣还给你 抱歉 |
| [09:39] | I’m going to have to keep the coat. | 我要把大衣留着 |
| [09:40] | No, you are not. | 不行 |
| [09:43] | Yeah, I am gonna keep the coat ’cause– | 我要留着大衣 因为 |
| [09:45] | – I’m sorry, sir. – No– | -不好意思 先生 -不 |
| [09:47] | I’m not leaving without the coat. | 没拿到大衣我是不会走的 |
| [09:49] | I’m keeping it. Yes, I am. | 我要留下 我要留下 |
| [09:52] | Drop the coat, mother! | 放下大衣 混蛋 |
| [09:54] | Drop the coat! | 放下大衣 |
| [09:56] | Oh, my god. | 天啊 |
| [09:57] | The pistol doesn’t shoot, honey. | 那枪打不出子弹的 亲爱的 |
| [09:59] | It’s a 1782 Ketland flintlock. | 那是1782年的凯特兰燧发枪 |
| [10:02] | It’s priceless ’cause my father gave it to me, | 无价之宝 因为是我父亲给我的 |
| [10:04] | But it will not shoot. | 但是打不出子弹 |
| [10:05] | Okay, well, then I’m gonna– I’m gonna smash this! | 好吧 那我就把它砸了 |
| [10:08] | No. | 不要 |
| [10:09] | – I will shove it through– – don’t do that! | 我要把它塞进 -别 |
| [10:12] | – I will ruin it! – Don’t do that! Okay, okay, okay! | -我会毁了它 -别 好好好 |
| [10:13] | Put it down. | 放下 |
| [10:15] | Get it. | 捡起来 |
| [10:24] | Jesus, who are you guys? | 老天 你们是什么人 |
| [10:26] | Your worst nightmare. | 你最可怕的噩梦 |
| [10:34] | Okay, hey, dude. | 哥们 |
| [10:36] | You don’t need to go to Maureen’s tonight. | 你今晚不用去莫林家 |
| [10:38] | She was, she was full. | 她 她已经”饱”了 |
| [10:42] | She was hosting an orgy. | 她在举办群P |
| [10:44] | – What? – Okay. Sorry. | -什么 -抱歉 |
| [10:49] | I like orgies. | 我喜欢群P |
| [10:52] | Okay, so Adele is just about to meet us. | 那个阿黛尔马上要来见我们 |
| [10:55] | I just want to let you know that it’s mostly sexual. | 我只是想让你知道我和她主要是性关系 |
| [10:57] | She’s not replacing you. | 她不会取代你 |
| [10:58] | I don’t feel threatened– thanks though. | 我没有觉得受到威胁 不过谢谢 |
| [10:59] | I’m just surprised. | 我只是很惊讶 |
| [11:01] | You never want me to meet anybody you’re with. | 你从不想让我见你约炮的人 |
| [11:03] | The only reason I met Lincoln | 我见到林肯的唯一原因是 |
| [11:04] | is because you forgot you were with him one time. | 那次你忘了你和他在一起 |
| [11:06] | Oh, there she is. | 她来了 |
| [11:08] | I don’t know what it is about this girl. | 我不知道她有什么特别之处 |
| [11:11] | Um, I think I know what it is. | 我想我知道 |
| [11:32] | Adele, this is Abbi. | 阿黛尔 这是艾比 |
| [11:33] | Abbi, Adele. | 艾比 阿黛尔 |
| [11:35] | So nice to finally meet you. | 很高兴终于见到你了 |
| [11:36] | I’ve heard so much about you, seen so many photos. | 我听过很多你的事 看过你很多照片 |
| [11:38] | I feel like I already know you. | 我感觉我已经认识你了 |
| [11:39] | Yeah, it’s like– that’s crazy. | 真神奇 |
| [11:41] | I feel like I know you too. | 我感觉我也认识你 |
| [11:43] | Adele, it was so nice meeting you. | 阿黛尔 很高兴认识你 |
| [11:44] | Um, I gotta go see about a girl and get her coat back. | 我得去见一个女生 归还她的大衣 |
| [11:49] | Dude, uh, she looks exactly like you. | 她跟你长得一模一样 |
| [11:52] | So. | 这样 |
| [11:55] | See ya. Bye. | 拜拜 |
| [12:14] | Um, I’m here to see miss Ripa. | 我是来见蕾帕小姐的 |
| [12:16] | Right this way. | 这边走 |
| [12:17] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [12:22] | I cannot believe you found my jacket. | 不敢相信你竟然找到了我的大衣 |
| [12:24] | Thank you so much. Come on in. | 太感谢了 进来吧 |
| [12:26] | I hope it wasn’t too much trouble. | 希望没太麻烦到你 |
| [12:29] | No, it was the perfect amount of troubles. | 没有 没太费劲就找到了 |
| [12:32] | So much fun. | 过程很有意思 |
| [12:33] | Whoa, Bed Bath and Beyond coupons. | BBB优惠券 |
| [12:36] | Yeah, I practically live there. | 我可以说是在那生活 |
| [12:38] | That’s my favorite store. | 那是我最爱的商店 |
| [12:40] | You want a drink? | 你想喝点什么吗 |
| [12:42] | Yeah. I’d– yeah. | 好啊 |
| [12:44] | Mark had to take the kids to Telluride | 马克带孩子去特拉莱德 |
| [12:46] | for a capoeira festival, so… | 参加卡波耶拉舞蹈节了 |
| [12:49] | I love a cappella. | 我喜欢无伴奏合唱 |
| [12:51] | Hey, will you do me a favor? Can you take your shoes off? | 那个你能把鞋脱了吗 |
| [12:53] | Um, sure. | 当然 |
| [12:54] | Put on a pair of those. | 穿那个 |
| [12:57] | We’re a shape-ups family. | 我们家都穿塑形鞋 |
| [13:10] | You a 28hh? | 你穿28HH罩杯的 |
| [13:13] | Yeah, you got it. | 是的 |
| [13:15] | Weird. Me too. | 怪了 我也是 |
| [13:20] | You know, Kelly, I gotta say, your apartment is beautiful. | 凯莉 我得说你的公寓真是很漂亮 |
| [13:23] | Oh, thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [13:25] | It’s rent controlled. | 这是房租管制公寓 |
| [13:26] | I only pay 600 bucks a month. | 我一个月只交600 |
| [13:30] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [13:31] | Of course not! Prank! | 当然不是 恶作剧 |
| [13:33] | I love pranks! | 我喜欢恶作剧 |
| [13:35] | Oh, my. | 天啊 |
| [13:37] | I can’t believe we finished a whole bottle already. | 我们竟然已经喝完了一整瓶 |
| [13:41] | That’s okay. | 没事 |
| [13:42] | I’ve been meaning to crack open a special batch. | 我一直想要开一瓶特别的 |
| [13:45] | Here you go. | 尝尝 |
| [13:47] | Whoa, what is that? | 什么啊 |
| [13:51] | Moonshine! | 私酒 |
| [13:59] | Oh, my god. | 天啊 |
| [14:00] | Do we have the same exact tattoo? | 我们的文身是一样的吗 |
| [14:03] | No, that’s your arm. | 不 那是你的手臂 |
| [14:05] | Oh, right. Right, right, right. | 对哦 对对对 |
| [14:12] | Strahan keeps sending me all these gift baskets | 斯特拉恩不停给我寄这些礼品篮子 |
| [14:15] | to butter me up because he wants to switch sides | 想要讨好我 因为他想换边 |
| [14:20] | and everybody knows, first of all, that I sit camera left. | 但大家都知道我坐摄像机的左边 |
| [14:24] | Everyone knows that. | 大家都知道 |
| [14:25] | Everybody knows. | 大家都知道 |
| [14:27] | You know what I think about sitting camera right? | 你知道我对坐在摄像机右边有什么看法吗 |
| [14:30] | I’ll show you– this– | 我给你看看 |
| [14:32] | I’ll show you what I think about sitting camera right right now. | 我给你看看我对坐在摄像机右边的看法 |
| [14:42] | Oh, , dude! That’s the street! Oh, ! | 我去 那是街道啊 我去 |
| [14:47] | I gotta take a whiz. | 我得去尿尿 |
| [14:48] | And I’ll tell you what, when I get back, | 这样 等我回来 |
| [14:49] | I wanna see that big-ass mother basket | 我要看到那个大篮子 |
| [14:52] | down next to my little-ass mother basket. | 扔到我的小篮子旁边 |
| [14:55] | Are you kidding? | 你是在开玩笑吗 |
| [15:06] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [15:08] | Could we turn off the lights maybe? | 我们能把灯关了吗 |
| [15:10] | Oh, but I wanna see your cute little face. | 可我想看你可爱的脸 |
| [15:13] | Cool. | 酷 |
| [15:14] | Uh, okay. One second. | 好吧 等下 |
| [15:19] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [15:22] | Okay, that’s better. | 好多了 |
| [15:47] | Holy . | 我靠 |
| [15:52] | Abbi! | 艾比 |
| [15:57] | What a beautiful kitchen! | 厨房真漂亮 |
| [16:01] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [16:03] | – What, uh, what, uh– – Oh, don’t worry. | -那是什么 -别担心 |
| [16:06] | It’ll just give us trippier visuals. | 这只会让我们更迷糊 |
| [16:09] | Buckle up, buttercup. | 做好准备 宝贝 |
| [16:12] | You only live once, right? | 人只活一次 对吧 |
| [16:16] | Yes, queen. | 棒 女王 |
| [16:18] | Yes, queen. | 棒 女王 |
| [16:19] | Yes, queen. | 棒 女王 |
| [16:20] | Yes, queen. | 棒 女王 |
| [16:28] | Oh, my god. | 天啊 |
| [16:29] | Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop. | 停下 停下 |
| [16:30] | What’s wrong? Too much teeth? | 怎么了 牙齿咬太多次了吗 |
| [16:32] | No, the biting was dope. | 不 那个很棒 |
| [16:34] | I just… | 只是 |
| [16:37] | It’s too weird. | 太奇怪了 |
| [16:39] | – What’s too weird? – Okay. | -什么太奇怪 -好吧 |
| [16:41] | I wanna put this delicately | 我就简单说吧 |
| [16:43] | ’cause I don’t want to freak you out too much, | 因为我不想你抓狂 |
| [16:44] | But it came to my attention that | 但我意识到 |
| [16:48] | we look exactly alike. | 我们长得一模一样 |
| [16:51] | Yeah, no . | 废话 |
| [16:53] | You knew? | 你早就知道 |
| [16:54] | I’m not blind, I mean, | 我不是瞎子 |
| [16:56] | isn’t that why you approached me in the first place? | 这难道不是你当初找我的原因吗 |
| [16:59] | No. | 不是 |
| [17:00] | I was drawn to your aura. | 我是被你的光环吸引了 |
| [17:02] | And your scent, you know. | 还有你的味道 |
| [17:04] | And your curls and your cheeks. | 你的卷发 你的脸颊 |
| [17:08] | Of course I’m drawn to myself. | 我当然要被自己吸引了 |
| [17:09] | I masturbate in the mirror! | 我对着镜子自慰 |
| [17:10] | Me too! | 我也是 |
| [17:11] | That’s what’s so hot about it. | 这正是其性感之处 |
| [17:13] | It’s like hooking up with yourself. | 就像跟自己约炮一样 |
| [17:15] | I know, but– | 我知道 可是 |
| [17:16] | I have sex with people different from me, you know? | 我和不同于我的人滚床单 |
| [17:20] | Different colors, different shapes, different sizes. | 不同肤色 不同体型 不同尺寸 |
| [17:24] | People who are hotter, uglier. | 更性感 更丑 |
| [17:26] | More smart, not more smart. | 更聪明 不更聪明 |
| [17:28] | Innies, outies. | 阴唇外翻和不外翻的 |
| [17:30] | I don’t know– a catholic person. | 天主教徒 |
| [17:32] | Nobody knows our bodies the way that we do. | 没人像我们一样了解我们的身体 |
| [17:35] | Look. | 听着 |
| [17:36] | Your g spot… | 你的G点 |
| [17:38] | is right here. | 在这里 |
| [17:44] | Too intense. Too intense. | 太强烈了 太强烈了 |
| [17:45] | Oh, my god. | 我的天 |
| [17:47] | I lost my vision. | 我看不到了 |
| [17:48] | Yeah, for a second. | 有那么一秒钟 |
| [17:49] | I don’t know though. | 我说不好 |
| [17:51] | I don’t know. It’s like, creepy to me. | 我觉得这很瘆人 |
| [17:54] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [17:55] | That’s lame, but yeah. | 真没说服力 不过好吧 |
| [17:59] | Listen. | 听着 |
| [18:01] | We should still stay in touch | 我们还是该保持联系 |
| [18:02] | for organ donation or jury duty. | 万一以后需要器官捐献或者有陪审团义务 |
| [18:08] | You want? | 你想抽吗 |
| [18:09] | Oh, no. | 不 |
| [18:10] | I don’t smoke pot. | 我不抽大麻 |
| [18:17] | I gotta say, like, you’re much wilder than I… | 我得说 你比我想象中还 |
| [18:24] | You’re, like, much wilder than I thought you were. | 你比我想象中还放荡 |
| [18:27] | Like, I didn’t know. | 我没想到 |
| [18:29] | I know a lot of people think that | 我知道很多人这么想 |
| [18:31] | because I’m on the “Morning show” | 因为我主持的是《晨间秀》 |
| [18:34] | That I have to be like, America’s good girl. | 我得假装是美国的好女孩 |
| [18:38] | Totally. | 当然 |
| [18:39] | And I’m just like, at this place in my life | 我现在在我的人生里 |
| [18:41] | where I’ve accomplished a lot. | 已经完成了很多事 |
| [18:43] | So much, man. | 太多了 |
| [18:44] | Yeah. I literally don’t even give any . | 我已经完全不在乎了 |
| [18:48] | Like, I hate . | 我讨厌死 |
| [18:51] | They’re the worst. | 他们最坏了 |
| [18:53] | Seriously, you have to pull me harder | 你得更用力点 |
| [18:55] | ’cause I can’t even get into a full pretzel like this. | 这样我没法做到盐酥圈饼的样子 |
| [18:57] | What do you mean? | 你什么意思 |
| [18:58] | What is a pretzel? | 什么是盐酥圈饼 |
| [19:00] | – Why are we doing this? – Stretch. | -我们干嘛做这个 -拉伸 |
| [19:02] | I like it, but what is it? | 我喜欢 但这到底是什么 |
| [19:10] | Abbi. | 艾比 |
| [19:12] | You get first pick. | 你先选 |
| [19:15] | First… ? | 先 |
| [19:18] | I… | 我 |
| [19:20] | I, like, haven’t waxed | 我很久 |
| [19:23] | my body in a long time, you know? | 没有脱过毛了 |
| [19:26] | So like, I gotta, I gotta be going. | 所以我得走了 |
| [19:30] | – Thank you so much. – No. | -非常感谢你 -不 |
| [19:31] | For like, everything. | 谢谢这一切 |
| [19:32] | – All the drugs and stuff. – Abbi, no. | -毒品什么的 -艾比 别走 |
| [19:35] | – I have to. – No, Abbi, no! | -我必须走了 -不要 艾比 |
| [19:38] | Abbi! | 艾比 |
| [19:39] | I ordered Domino’s for after! | 我已经订了达美乐披萨 |
| [19:44] | You know, maybe I should have that prostitute. | 或许我该上了那个牛郎的 |
| [19:47] | I mean, he was actually kind of hot in like, a scary way. | 恐怖中散发着性感的气息 |
| [19:51] | And I bet he doesn’t even care if I waxed or not. | 他肯定不在意我有没有脱毛 |
| [19:54] | They don’t care if you’re waxed. | 他们才不在意你脱没脱毛 |
| [19:56] | Listen, if a prostitute’s what you want, | 如果你想找牛郎 |
| [19:59] | I can make that happen. | 我可以帮你 |
| [20:02] | Really? | 是吗 |
| [20:04] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [20:04] | That’d be insane. That’d be, like, so badass. | 那就太疯狂了 太刺激了 |
| [20:07] | I can make the call. | 我可以打电话 |
| [20:08] | They could get here in 25 minutes. | 他们25分钟内就能到 |
| [20:12] | For real? | 真的吗 |
| [20:14] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [20:16] | Grab my phone. I’ll do it. | 把我手机给我 我马上打 |
| [20:23] | Here goes. | 拨了 |
| [20:25] | We get to pick what they look like? | 我们能根据长相挑吗 |
| [20:26] | We get to pick our names? | 我们可以自己取名 |
| [20:27] | Fuerta would be my name. | 我要叫弗艾尔塔 |
| [20:30] | Charlie. | 查理 |
| [20:32] | As a girl. | 作为一个女生 |
| [20:34] | All right, I’m gonna be spontaneous. | 我要自然点 |
| [20:37] | – Let’s go. Go. Call. – Okay, here we go. | -打吧 打 -好的 |
| [20:39] | – Own up. – I’m ready. | -坦白 -我准备好了 |
| [20:42] | Okay, I don’t know any prostitutes. | 我不认识任何牛郎 |
| [20:44] | You’re letting me make the call! | 你还让我打电话 |
| [20:45] | I don’t know! You were going with it! | 我怎么知道 你又不说 |
| [20:48] | I just wanted to see what would happen! | 我只是想看看会发生什么 |
| [20:50] | Kelly has really changed you. | 凯莉真的改变了你 |
| [20:53] | Do you know someone you could call to make the call? | 你认识谁可以帮我们打电话联系的吗 |
| [21:06] | Who is | 你想和谁 |
| [21:08] | the person that you would want to have to earn with? | 一起赚钱 |
| [21:12] | Jesus of Nazareth. | 拿撒勒耶稣 |
| [21:16] | Or Kanye West. | 或者坎耶·维斯特 |
| [21:18] | Jesus or Yeezus– you decide. | 耶稣还是伊苏[侃爷自创名字] 你决定 |