| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Come on! Come on, dude! | 快 快 姐们 |
| [00:06] | – It’s coming, it’s coming. – Go, go, let’s go, let’s go! | -来了 要来了 -快 快 |
| [00:15] | Yes! | 棒 |
| [00:16] | – All right, we’ve gotta go to the back of the train. – Okay. | -我们得到后面去 -好 |
| [00:20] | – Okay. – Hey, sorry. | -好吧 -不好意思 |
| [00:23] | Excuse– Okay. | 借过 |
| [00:38] | Ugh, typical. | 真典型 |
| [00:43] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [00:48] | Val? Val! | 小薇 小薇 |
| [00:54] | Ilana, come on. | 阿拉娜 快走 |
| [01:00] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [01:15] | Oh, my– | 我的 |
| [01:20] | – Okay, come on, come on. – All right, okay. | -快走 -好的 |
| [01:22] | What’s going on here? | 这里怎么回事 |
| [01:45] | Hold up, dude. We were supposed to be at the front end. | 等等 我们应该去前端的 |
| [01:48] | – That’s what I said. – Is it? | -我就这么说的 -是吗 |
| [01:50] | – Is it? – Yeah. Mm-hmm. | -是吗 -嗯 |
| [01:51] | – Are you sure? – Yeah. | -确定吗 -嗯 |
| [01:53] | I thou– I don’t know, | 我以为 我不知道 |
| [01:54] | I think you said we needed to be at– | 你说的是我们需要去 |
| [01:59] | Get out! | 滚粗 |
| [02:08] | I’m telling you, | 我跟你说 |
| [02:09] | fat dudes’ dicks get sucked back inside their bodies. | 胖子的鸡鸡会缩回他们的身体 |
| [02:12] | I’m not saying you’re wrong, | 我不是说你错了 |
| [02:13] | I just don’t, like, understand the sucking back | 我只是不懂 |
| [02:15] | into their bodies part of it. | 缩回他们的身体是什么意思 |
| [02:17] | It’s not like it’s science suction, Bill Nye! | 这又不是科学上的缩回 比尔·奈 |
| [02:21] | I’m just saying, | 我的意思是 |
| [02:22] | the more room it has to present itself, | 鸡鸡展示的空间越大 |
| [02:24] | the bigger a penis appears. | 鸡鸡显得就越大 |
| [02:26] | Never forget this, okay? | 一定要记住 好吗 |
| [02:27] | Every 10 pounds a guy loses, | 男人每减10磅 |
| [02:29] | he gains a visual inch. | 他的鸡鸡从视觉上就增加一英寸 |
| [02:31] | What, so it’s like the best optical illusion of all time? | 所以这是史上最棒的错觉吗 |
| [02:34] | Exactly. | 没错 |
| [02:35] | Like, um, Mount Rushmore, | 就像拉什莫尔山 |
| [02:36] | how it looks, you know, like the presidents? | 看上去像总统一样 |
| [02:41] | Well, Mount Rushmore is actually a sculpture. | 拉什莫尔山其实是座雕像 |
| [02:42] | Like, it was carved by an artist. | 是由艺术家雕刻出来的 |
| [02:44] | Dude, this heat is like killing me right now. I’m just dying. | 简直热疯 我快被热死了 |
| [02:48] | Oh, I love it. | 我可喜欢了 |
| [02:50] | All my senses are heightened, | 我所有的感官都增强了 |
| [02:51] | even my ethnic ambiguity. | 甚至包括我的种族模糊性 |
| [02:52] | I was catcalled today in what I believe is Creole. | 我今天在街上被一个人用克里奥尔语调戏了 |
| [02:55] | Well, I’m on the edge of like swamp ass right now. | 我屁股快湿透了 |
| [02:57] | I need some A/C. | 我需要吹空调 |
| [03:01] | We’re gonna have to throw these out. | 这些得扔了 |
| [03:03] | Here we go. | 开始 |
| [03:05] | This lighting is incredible. | 灯光很赞 |
| [03:07] | Hey, do you have any tweezers? | 你有镊子吗 |
| [03:08] | Um, not on me, no. | 没带 |
| [03:11] | Ilana, did I tell you that male Stacey’s cooking me dinner tonight? | 阿拉娜 我跟你说男斯黛西今晚要给我做饭了吗 |
| [03:14] | I mean, if I was a guy, | 要是我是男的 |
| [03:16] | that is what I would do for a girl. | 我就会给女生做饭 |
| [03:17] | You should check out the Colin Farrell sex tape, | 你该去看看科林·法瑞尔的性爱录像带 |
| [03:20] | just to get back in the swing of things, | 熟悉环境 |
| [03:22] | specifically 8:58. | 具体在8:58秒 |
| [03:24] | He is feasting on her like it is a dang milk shake. | 他在她逼上大餐 就像在吃奶昔一样 |
| [03:28] | It’s me breakfast, lunch, and dinner right here. | 这是我的早餐 午餐和晚餐 |
| [03:31] | ‘Twas 8:58 you said, sire? | 你说8:58秒吗 陛下 |
| [03:33] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [03:34] | But then you’re gonna want to swab the decks | 然后你要快进到 |
| [03:36] | over to 9:44 for some master ass play. | 9:44秒 看大师级肛交 |
| [03:39] | And then round it out at 12:47 with some good old-fashioned fuck. | 然后在12:47秒看老派做爱 |
| [03:44] | Oh. So sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [03:46] | We love New York moms. | 我们喜欢纽约妈妈 |
| [03:48] | Um, I’m gonna buy these, | 我要买这个 |
| [03:50] | because they’re now, like, sort of part of my body. | 因为已经融入我的身体了 |
| [03:53] | So… Perfect. | 完美 |
| [03:57] | You said 8:58? | 你说的是8:58吗 |
| [03:59] | You’re gonna like what you see. | 你会喜欢的 |
| [04:00] | I guarantee it. | 我保证 |
| [04:07] | Yeah, so then they got divorced, | 然后他们离婚了 |
| [04:08] | but they’re still really good friends. | 但还是好朋友 |
| [04:11] | Yeah? My parents too. | 是吗 我父母也是 |
| [04:12] | Divorced, still good friends. | 离婚了 但还是好朋友 |
| [04:13] | – So cool, right? – So cool. | -很酷吧 -超酷 |
| [04:15] | I hope to get married just to get divorced one day. | 我希望能结婚 就为了某天能离婚 |
| [04:18] | I’ve gotta be honest, I’m kind of massively | 老实说 我有点后悔 |
| [04:19] | regretting my decision to sizzle fajitas | 在这么近的距离 |
| [04:21] | two inches from my head. | 烧法士达了 |
| [04:23] | But I’m glad I wore my awesome new shirt. | 不过我很高兴我穿了我的新衣服 |
| [04:25] | It’s like a smiley face. | 就像个笑脸 |
| [04:26] | It– Kind of like a smiley face. | 就像个笑脸 |
| [04:27] | – It is! – Look at that. | -是的 -看看 |
| [04:28] | My plan is working. | 我计划奏效了 |
| [04:29] | Get you over here, hide the A/C, | 叫你过来 把空调藏着 |
| [04:32] | get those clothes off. | 让你脱掉衣服 |
| [04:34] | You don’t actually have an air conditioner, do you? | 你不会真有空调吧 |
| [04:37] | No, I don’t. | 没有 |
| [04:38] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [04:40] | I’m gonna go. I think I’m gonna go wipe up– | 我离开下 我去擦 |
| [04:42] | I’m gonna go wipe my– | 我去擦我的 |
| [04:44] | I’m gonna pee. | 我去撒尿 |
| [04:45] | I’ll pee and then you know what I’ll do? | 我去撒尿 然后你知道我会做什么吗 |
| [04:47] | I’ll wipe– | 我会擦掉 |
| [04:50] | I’m gonna use the ladies’ room. | 我要去女厕所 |
| [04:52] | All right. | 好 |
| [04:54] | Fuck, it’s hot. | 操 好热 |
| [04:59] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [05:00] | All right. Jesus, cool down. Just cool down, Abbi. | 冷静 冷静 艾比 |
| [05:03] | You’re cool, you’re cool. | 你很冷静 你很冷静 |
| [05:04] | You’re cool. | 你很冷静 |
| [05:06] | You look good. You feel good. | 你看着不错 你感觉不错 |
| [05:09] | That’s cool. | 很好 |
| [05:11] | Cool mode. Here we go. | 冷风模式 开始 |
| [05:27] | What up? | 怎么样 |
| [05:28] | – I just peed. – Yeah? I’ve just been cooking. | -我刚撒了尿 -是吗 我一直在做饭 |
| [05:31] | I was thinking, maybe we forget about | 我刚在想 我们要不要 |
| [05:32] | the fajitas, um, for a sec. | 暂时忘掉法士达 |
| [05:35] | I have a fan in my room. | 我房间里有台风扇 |
| [05:37] | Uh, that’s where I sleep and do other stuff. | 就是我睡觉和做别的事情的地方 |
| [05:40] | Cool. | 好啊 |
| [05:41] | Animated movies are where it’s at. | 动画电影是主要阵地 |
| [05:43] | It’s like visual crack. | 就像视觉毒品 |
| [05:45] | Hey, my daughter loves “Frozen.” | 我女儿可爱《冰雪奇缘》了 |
| [05:47] | – Watches it over and over… – Oh, yes. | -看了一遍又一遍 -是的 |
| [05:48] | looped and loop– She’s frozen. | 不停循环 就跟她被冻住了一样 |
| [05:50] | Exactly. | 没错 |
| [05:51] | All Hollywood media is porn, | 所有的好莱坞媒体都是色情片 |
| [05:53] | and all porn is kiddie porn. | 所有的色情片都是儿童色情 |
| [05:56] | We live in a rape culture, you know? We just do. | 我们生活在强奸文化里 真的 |
| [05:59] | I’m gonna run to the little girl’s room. | 我去下小女孩卫生间 |
| [06:01] | That is rape culture language right there. | 看 这就是强奸文化的语言 |
| [06:06] | Where’d you meet her, man? | 你在哪认识她的 |
| [06:06] | At a Foot Locker in Times Square. | 时代广场的Foot Locker店 |
| [06:08] | She was just hanging out. | 她在那瞎逛 |
| [06:09] | She wasn’t buying anything, she was just chilling. | 什么都不买 单纯混时间 |
| [06:14] | I’m gonna take your pants off. | 我要脱掉你的裤子 |
| [06:15] | – Okay? – Okay. Okay. Okay. | -好吗 -好好好 |
| [06:17] | – Okay. – They’re just… | -好 -裤子 |
| [06:17] | – really tight. – Yep, little bit. | -特别紧 -嗯 有点 |
| [06:19] | I’m sorry. It’s just because it’s hot out. | 抱歉 主要是因为太热了 |
| [06:21] | They’re really on there. | 贴得真紧 |
| [06:22] | All right, I’m gonna hold the bed, | 我抓着床 |
| [06:23] | – you just pull, okay? – Okay, on three. | -你使劲拉 好吗 -好 我数三声 |
| [06:24] | One, two… | 一 二 |
| [06:25] | – three. – Oh, no. | -三 -不 |
| [06:27] | Oh, no. | 不 |
| [06:29] | Did you have an accident or something? | 你出了什么意外吗 |
| [06:32] | When you went to the bathroom, to wipe yourself up earlier… | 你之前去卫生间擦汗的时候 |
| [06:34] | – I was peeing. – I– I got major swamp ass, | -我是去撒尿 -我屁股完全湿了 |
| [06:36] | and I started to shove paper towels | 然后开始往我的屁股沟里面塞纸巾 |
| [06:38] | in my butt crack to try to absorb it, | 想把汗吸收掉 |
| [06:39] | and I just realized that they’re still in there. | 我刚想起它们还在里面 |
| [06:42] | So, let’s just pause. Let’s just pause. | 所以暂停下 暂停下 |
| [06:44] | – Okay? – Okay. | -好吗 -好 |
| [06:44] | – Just give me one second. – All right. | -等我一下 -好 |
| [06:52] | That’s a lot of paper towels. | 你塞了好多纸巾 |
| [06:54] | Do you recycle? | 你回收利用吗 |
| [06:55] | I make more eye contact with this face than any human being’s face. | 我和这张脸的眼神交流比和任何的脸都多 |
| [06:58] | It’s crazy. | 不可思议 |
| [07:00] | I love “watching” it. | 我喜欢看[表]着它 |
| [07:05] | Happy birthday! | 生日快乐 |
| [07:07] | Whose birthday is it? | 谁的生日 |
| [07:08] | Very funny. | 好好笑 |
| [07:11] | Oh, it’s a tooth cake? | 牙齿蛋糕啊 |
| [07:16] | Yup. Happy birthday! | 是的 生日快乐 |
| [07:18] | Get up, yeah. | 站起来 |
| [07:19] | Birthday boy, and we all knew it… Yeah. Huh? | 寿星 我们都知道 是吧 |
| [07:31] | Oh, Abbi. | 艾比 |
| [07:32] | Stacey, yeah, it’s so good. | 斯黛西 很爽 |
| [07:33] | – Oh, Abbi. – That’s good. | -艾比 -爽 |
| [07:34] | I feel crazy. I feel– | 我感觉很疯狂 感觉 |
| [07:35] | Me too. It’s so crazy. | 我也是 很疯狂 |
| [07:37] | I really feel– | 我真的感觉 |
| [07:38] | I feel really– | 我感觉真的 |
| [07:40] | Ah, Stacey. That’s so good. | 斯黛西 真爽 |
| [07:43] | Stacey. | 斯黛西 |
| [07:44] | Stacey! | 斯黛西 |
| [07:46] | Stace? | 斯黛西 |
| [07:47] | Male Stacey! | 男斯黛西 |
| [07:49] | Male Stacey! | 男斯黛西 |
| [07:55] | So, to clarify, you raped– | 阐明以下 你强奸了 |
| [07:58] | You raped him. | 你强奸了他 |
| [08:00] | No, no. | 没有 |
| [08:01] | He passed out from the heat. | 他热晕过去了 |
| [08:03] | He seriously wanted it. | 他是真的很想要 |
| [08:05] | That is literally what “they” say. | 强奸犯就是这么说的 |
| [08:08] | Yeah, but I really mean it. | 可我是真心的 |
| [08:10] | So do “they.” | 他们也是 |
| [08:12] | Well, I– | 我 |
| [08:13] | Dude, did you… finish? | 你有高潮吗 |
| [08:18] | My God, I raped him, dude. | 天啊 我强奸了他 |
| [08:19] | I– I raped Male Stacey. I’m a monster. | 我强奸了男斯黛西 我是怪物 |
| [08:22] | I need an air conditioner, immediately! | 我得马上搞到一台空调 |
| [08:28] | They moved the fans. Good call. | 他们把风扇移走了 干得好 |
| [08:30] | You know, I was gonna say something, | 我本来想提建议的 |
| [08:32] | but I didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes, you know, | 但我不想干扰他人 你懂吗 |
| [08:33] | ’cause like, I don’t work here. | 因为我不在这工作 |
| [08:35] | Why don’t you work here? | 你为什么不在这工作 |
| [08:36] | You don’t where you eat. | 你不能在你吃饭的地方做爱 |
| [08:39] | Ooh, Turbie Twist. | 速干包头巾 |
| [08:40] | You think Lincoln would want one of these for his birthday? | 你说林肯生日会想要这东西吗 |
| [08:43] | Probably not, ’cause he doesn’t have any hair. | 多半不会 因为他没头发 |
| [08:45] | Ugh, right. | 是哦 |
| [08:46] | – Right? – Right, right, right. | -是吧 -对对对 |
| [08:47] | Yeah. Hmm. Yep, you’re right. | 嗯 你说的是 |
| [08:49] | You know what? Follow me. | 跟我来 |
| [08:49] | We’ll check out the ravioli attachments for his pasta maker. | 我们去看看有没有适合他意面机的饺子配件 |
| [08:52] | Lincoln has a pasta maker? No way. | 林肯有意面机 不可能 |
| [08:55] | Yeah, you don’t know about this? The homemade pasta. | 你不知道吗 自制意面 |
| [08:57] | He makes a different kind every Sunday night. | 每周日晚都会做不一样的 |
| [08:58] | It’s on his blog. | 他博客上有 |
| [09:00] | What blog? | 什么博客 |
| [09:01] | “The Al Dente Dentist.” | “嚼劲牙医” |
| [09:02] | Do you not talk to Lincoln? | 你不跟林肯聊天的吗 |
| [09:04] | It should be called “The Al Dentist.” | 应该叫做”嚼牙医” |
| [09:06] | No, we don’t– | 不 我们不 |
| [09:07] | We don’t talk. We hook up, | 我们不聊天 我们约炮 |
| [09:08] | I smoke him up, we watch TV. It’s great. | 我给他抽大麻 一起看电视 很棒 |
| [09:10] | Abbi! | 艾比 |
| [09:12] | You come here, you don’t come find me in flatware? | 你来这都不到扁平餐具区来找我 |
| [09:15] | Come on! | 搞错没有 |
| [09:19] | Here we go. This is it. | 就是这个 |
| [09:23] | Yes. | 赞 |
| [09:27] | Blam! I’m just gonna… | 我就 |
| [09:31] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [09:36] | All right. Thank you, guys. | 好了 谢谢你们 |
| [09:38] | Thank you so much. | 非常感谢 |
| [09:42] | Holler at me, Abbi! | 朝我大叫 艾比 |
| [09:45] | – Good to see you, Abbi. – Oh, I’ll see you. | -很高兴见到你 艾比 -再见 |
| [09:47] | How often do you come in here? | 你多久来这一次 |
| [09:48] | Not that much. | 不常来 |
| [09:49] | Well, look what the cat dragged in. | 瞧瞧谁来了 |
| [09:51] | Hey. All right. | 好吧 |
| [09:52] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [09:56] | The planning this takes is unbelievable. | 这编排太6了 |
| [09:58] | This is incredible. What’s going on? | 不可思议 什么情况 |
| [09:59] | Oh, my God, she doesn’t do dances with me. | 天 她从不和我跳舞 |
| [10:02] | Hi, pretty lady! What’s up? | 小美女 好啊 |
| [10:04] | – What is up? – Oh, look– | -好啊 -听着 |
| [10:05] | You know what? I’ve got a cutting board with your name on it. | 我有块印了你名字的砧板 |
| [10:07] | – Stunning. – No! | -震惊 -不会吧 |
| [10:08] | No, really, I’ve been calling it “The Abbi.” | 真的 我一直把它叫做”艾比” |
| [10:09] | Great. | 好极了 |
| [10:11] | You go do that. | 你去吧 |
| [10:12] | I will get an air conditioner. | 我去买空调 |
| [10:14] | Meet you back on the thing. | 后门见 |
| [10:18] | – This feels great. – It is so good. | -感觉真棒 -特棒 |
| [10:19] | – It’s an investment, you know? – Right? | -这是投资 -对吧 |
| [10:20] | I’ll look for a cab on the side streets, you take the avenue. | 我去小巷叫车 你去大街 |
| [10:23] | Genius. All angles. | 天才 覆盖所有角度 |
| [10:27] | Come on, New York! | 拜托 纽约 |
| [10:30] | Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! BRB! | 棒 棒 马上回来 |
| [10:32] | Ab, I got one! | 小艾 我叫到了 |
| [10:34] | – Right back here! – Are you kidding me? | -就在这 -搞错没有 |
| [10:36] | – Oh, my God! – What the– | -我的天 -我嘞个去 |
| [10:41] | What do you think about this for my Facebook status update? | 你觉得这样更新脸书状态怎么样 |
| [10:43] | “Seeking air conditioner, free to cheap. | “寻找空调 免费或者便宜 |
| [10:46] | Thanks. Bye, guys.” | 谢谢 大家再见” |
| [10:47] | “Bye, guys” is my favorite part. | 我最喜欢”大家再见” |
| [10:49] | I love that. I want more you. | 我喜欢 我想要更多的你 |
| [10:50] | I want more panache. | 更多的派头 |
| [10:51] | I want more spunk, more jizzy-jazz. | 更多的勇气 更多的精液 |
| [10:54] | Eww, okay. | 恶心 够了 |
| [10:57] | Maybe Lincoln would want an avocado for his birthday? | 也许林肯会想要个鳄梨作为生日礼物 |
| [10:59] | Or like a bag of avocados? | 或者一袋鳄梨 |
| [11:01] | No. | 不 |
| [11:02] | Sent into… Cloud. | 已发送到 云端 |
| [11:07] | Whoa, dude, I got two responses already. | 已经有两条回复了 |
| [11:09] | Oh, my God. That’s so embarrassing. | 天啊 真丢人 |
| [11:11] | They are like up Facebook’s butthole, no shame! | 他们随时都在刷脸书 不知羞耻 |
| [11:15] | Okay, one is from my old babysitter. | 一个是我以前的临时保姆 |
| [11:18] | Who, if I’m being honest, | 坦白讲 |
| [11:19] | potentially broke up my parents. | 就是她拆散的我父母 |
| [11:22] | So, no. | 所以不行 |
| [11:23] | The second one’s Benny Calitri. | 另一个是本尼·卡立特里 |
| [11:25] | Who’s Benny Calitri? I have one mutual friend. | 谁是本尼·卡立特里 一个共同好友 |
| [11:33] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [11:34] | Hey, Bevers. Who’s Benny Calitri? | 贝弗斯 谁是本尼·卡立特里 |
| [11:36] | – Do I know him? – Yes! | -我认识他吗 -是的 |
| [11:37] | Remember you had that party, | 还记得你那次举办派对吗 |
| [11:39] | you told me I couldn’t bring a “Plus one”? | 你跟我说我不能携伴参加 |
| [11:41] | He was my “Plus one”! | 他就是我的”伴” |
| [11:42] | – Great, thanks. – He’s one of my best friends. | -很好 谢了 -他是我最好朋友之一 |
| [11:43] | Did you guys– | 你们 |
| [11:57] | You know, I’ve never been to this neighborhood before, | 我从没来过这片区 |
| [11:59] | but I’m not scared, ’cause I’m with a stone cold rapist! | 但我并不怕 因为我是和冷血强奸犯一起来的 |
| [12:03] | Okay. All right. | 好吧 |
| [12:05] | – Listen, Ab… – That I am. | -听着 小艾 -是我 |
| [12:06] | It’s reverse rapism. | 这是逆强奸 |
| [12:08] | You are raping rape culture. Yes! | 你在强奸强奸文化 棒呆 |
| [12:10] | – Hey, I’m Benny. – Yeah. | -你好 我是本尼 -嘿 |
| [12:12] | We’ve actually met before. | 我们以前见过 |
| [12:13] | Yeah, I’m sorry, I wasn’t talking to you guys. | 抱歉 我没在跟你们说话 |
| [12:14] | I’m doing my testimonial for my “Amazing Race” submission. | 我在为《极速前进》录我的自荐视频 |
| [12:18] | I’m just a guy looking for a challenge | 我只是个想要寻觅 |
| [12:20] | that’ll change his life forever. | 能永久改变他一生挑战的人 |
| [12:22] | – Yes? – So, yeah. | -说吧 -那个 |
| [12:24] | Thank you so much for this A/C. | 谢谢你提供空调 |
| [12:26] | If there’s anything I can do to repay you– | 如果有什么我能报答你的 |
| [12:27] | Actually, if you guys want to carry boxes | 如果你们能把箱子 |
| [12:29] | to the truck, that’d be great. | 搬上卡车 就太好了 |
| [12:31] | – I guess. – Okay. | -行吧 -好 |
| [12:33] | A couple of my best friends showed up. | 我的两个好友来了 |
| [12:34] | Even though they were pretty stacked, | 尽管她们胸部很大 |
| [12:36] | I’ve got to keep my eye on the prize– | 但是我得把注意力放在目标上 |
| [12:38] | “The Amazing Race”! | 《极速前进》 |
| [12:58] | Thanks so much, guys. | 谢谢你们 |
| [12:59] | You really pulled my butt out of the fire. | 你们真的帮了我大忙 |
| [13:01] | Yeah, thanks for– | 嗯 谢谢 |
| [13:02] | One question– Why do you guys want a broken air conditioner? | 一个问题 你们为什么想要一个坏的空调 |
| [13:05] | What? | 什么 |
| [13:05] | Your post said, and I quote, | 你的原话是 |
| [13:07] | “Broke-ass girl looking for an A/C to match.” | “破产女想要台匹配身份的空调” |
| [13:09] | – Why would I ever want a broken air conditioner? – Fuck me! | -我为什么会想要一台坏的空调 -日了狗了 |
| [13:13] | I’m not big into slang, | 我不是俚语达人 |
| [13:14] | but I assumed “broke-ass” means “broken”? | 但我以为破产指的是坏的 |
| [13:16] | Okay, I know you guys are annoyed right now– | 我知道你们很郁闷 |
| [13:18] | I’m great at reading vibes– | 我很擅长阅读气氛 |
| [13:19] | but are either of you good at bungee jumping, | 但你们中有谁擅长蹦极吗 |
| [13:21] | or can drive a stick shift? | 或者能开手动挡 |
| [13:23] | I need someone for “Amazing Race” because my mom just pulled out. | 我需要找个伴参加《极速前进》 我妈刚退出了 |
| [13:26] | Maybe your dad should have pulled out. | 或许你爸当初该[把鸡巴]抽出来 |
| [13:28] | Whoa, dude. | 姐们 |
| [13:29] | – That was awesome. – I just thought of that. | -怼得好 -刚想到的 |
| [13:31] | I don’t get it. | 我没懂 |
| [13:32] | – Why don’t you take Bevers? – Oh, he can’t. | -怎么不找贝弗斯 -他不行 |
| [13:34] | He’s got all those kittens to take care of. | 他得照顾那些小猫 |
| [13:35] | What kittens? | 什么小猫 |
| [13:36] | – Oh, drama. – What? | -有抓马哦 -什么 |
| [13:39] | Drama seems to follow me wherever I go, | 好像不管我去哪都能遇到抓马 |
| [13:41] | especially when I’m with the ladies– | 尤其是当我和女生在一起的时候 |
| [13:42] | Stop talking now, please! | 闭嘴 求你了 |
| [13:44] | Stop doing your lame-o video! | 别再录你的弱智视频了 |
| [13:47] | You’re not gonna make it! | 你选不上的 |
| [13:50] | Can we try that again without you guys yelling? | 我们能再拍一次吗 不过你们别用吼的 |
| [13:54] | This is gonna work. | 这肯定能成功的 |
| [13:55] | I left my air conditioner here last year when I graduated. | 我去年毕业的时候把我的空调留在了这 |
| [13:58] | It’s technically still mine. | 严格来说仍然是我的 |
| [13:59] | It’s like when a mom gives up a baby for adoption, | 就好比母亲把孩子送给人收养 |
| [14:02] | she should be able to go | 她应该可以随时 |
| [14:03] | and get that baby back whenever she pleases. | 收回她的孩子 |
| [14:05] | I can’t– I can’t get into adoption with you again. | 我不能 我不能再陪你去收养 |
| [14:08] | – It’s– – Smart. Smart. | -这 -明智 明智 |
| [14:12] | Hello, sir! I’m gonna sign my friend in here. | 你好 先生 我要带我朋友进去 |
| [14:16] | This is expired. | 过期了 |
| [14:18] | Oh, I see. We are loving lesbians, | 我懂了 我们是相爱的女同 |
| [14:21] | – so this is because we’re clearly lesbians? – Okay. | -因为我们是女同 你不让我们进去 -够了 |
| [14:24] | ‘Cause your hetero-normative notion– | 因为你的直男癌观念 |
| [14:26] | I don’t care if you’re lesbians. | 我不管你们是不是女同 |
| [14:29] | Okay. I guess it’s because we’re straight, then? | 好吧 那是因为我们是异性恋咯 |
| [14:32] | Because we’re a minority in our class, | 因为我们在班上是少数群体 |
| [14:34] | we shouldn’t be treated equally? | 就不该被平等对待吗 |
| [14:35] | The straight girls of 2015 shafted yet again! | 2015年 直女再次被苛刻对待 |
| [14:39] | You kids are all straight, and you’re all gay. | 你们都是直的 都是弯的 |
| [14:43] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [14:44] | Thank you, sir. | 谢谢你 先生 |
| [14:46] | Okay, we’ll just do the thing, | 拿到空调后 |
| [14:47] | – get in, get out. – We got this. | -马上就走 -没问题 |
| [14:49] | Yes, we got this. | 我们可以的 |
| [14:54] | Guys, some lady and her mom are here. | 一个女的带着她妈来了 |
| [14:56] | Good one. | 好好笑哦 |
| [14:56] | – What are you, a comedian? – Pretty much. | -你是喜剧演员吗 -差不多 |
| [14:58] | My uncle is Adam Corolla. | 我舅舅是亚当·科罗拉[喜剧演员] |
| [15:01] | That’s it. | 就是那个 |
| [15:03] | Okay, we’re your new R.A.S, | 我们是你们的新宿舍管理员 |
| [15:05] | so I’d cut it with the douche-fest, ASAP. | 是我就立马乖乖配合 |
| [15:07] | This is a spontaneous room raid. | 这是一次突击查房 |
| [15:11] | Guys, we don’t want any trouble. | 我们不想找麻烦 |
| [15:12] | I’m hoping, boys, | 我希望 同学们 |
| [15:14] | that we don’t find any contraband in here, | 这里没有违禁物 |
| [15:16] | ’cause that would not be good for you. | 因为那样的话就不太妙了 |
| [15:19] | Mini-fridge. | 小冰箱 |
| [15:22] | Hey, now! | 瞧瞧 |
| [15:24] | What do we got here? | 这是什么 |
| [15:27] | Mad vodka, huh? | 疯狂伏特加 |
| [15:28] | Good stuff, huh? | 好东西 是吧 |
| [15:30] | And it’s also against the rules. | 违反了规定 |
| [15:31] | Strike uno! | 一振 |
| [15:33] | Lordy, lordy! Janet’s 40! | 老天 老天 珍妮特都40了 |
| [15:38] | This is… Stah-rike two! | 两振了 |
| [15:43] | What is it, girl? What is it? | 是什么 妹子 是什么 |
| [15:45] | Smell something? | 闻到什么了吗 |
| [15:49] | Lordy, lordy. | 老天 老天 |
| [15:51] | Janet just turned 40! | 珍妮特满40了 |
| [15:55] | What the crap is that? | 那是什么鬼东西 |
| [15:56] | This is strike three. | 这是三振 |
| [15:57] | Honestly, that’s not ours. | 那真的不是我们的 |
| [15:58] | Yeah, who would leave weed in a wall, anyway? | 谁会把大麻藏在墙里啊 |
| [16:01] | Who would leave weed in a wall? | 谁会把大麻藏在墙里 |
| [16:03] | A weed genius! | 大麻天才 |
| [16:05] | And she’d leave it there indefinitely, | 而且她会把它永久留在里面 |
| [16:06] | in case of emergency. | 以防遇到紧急状况 |
| [16:09] | This is a serious violation of the ethics code | 这严重违反了我们敬爱的学校 |
| [16:12] | our dear university abides by. | 所遵守的道德准则 |
| [16:16] | I’m sorry, but as R.A.S, we’ve got to report you. | 抱歉 但作为宿舍管理员 我们必须上报此情况 |
| [16:21] | Hold on, Ilana. Hold on, hold on. | 等等 阿拉娜 等等 等等 |
| [16:23] | I don’t think the head R.A. needs to find out about this. | 宿舍主管不需要知道这事 |
| [16:26] | It’s their first violation. | 这事他们第一次违规 |
| [16:28] | Maybe we just revoke the A/C privileges, you know? | 要不我们就只取消他们的空调特权好了 |
| [16:30] | Call it a day. | 今天就到此为止 |
| [16:32] | I guess that’s fair. Deal. | 这样也行 就这样吧 |
| [16:33] | Guys, seriously, the weed isn’t ours. | 真的 大麻不是我们的 |
| [16:35] | – It’s not ours. – Also… | -不是我们的 -而且 |
| [16:36] | what does this have to do with the A/C? | 这跟空调有什么关系 |
| [16:38] | These are the rule, and when you graduate | 这是规定 等你们毕业后 |
| [16:40] | and get a real job like an R.A., | 找到份正经工作 比如宿舍管理员 |
| [16:41] | we can talk about it. | 我们可以再谈 |
| [16:42] | – R.A.S are students. – When you graduate, | -宿舍管理员是学生 -等你们毕业后 |
| [16:44] | we can talk about what an R.A. is and isn’t, | 我们可以再讨论宿舍管理员到底是什么 |
| [16:47] | and whether or not we are students. | 以及我们是不是学生 |
| [16:50] | While my partner in justice | 在我的正义伙伴 |
| [16:54] | removes your A/C, | 撤走你们空调的同时 |
| [16:57] | I’m gonna teach you boys about the dangers | 我要给你们讲讲 |
| [17:00] | of ripping underaged bongs. | 未成年抽大麻的危害 |
| [17:02] | Now, you take this, brother. | 拿着 兄弟 |
| [17:03] | You’re gonna smoke the whole bag. | 你得把整袋都抽了 |
| [17:06] | You’re first, little buddy. | 你先来 小朋友 |
| [17:07] | Now, suck it up. That’s it. And here we go. | 吸吧 就这样 |
| [17:46] | Yeah, I invented this app– | 我发明了这个应用 |
| [17:48] | Well, okay, I didn’t invent it yet, but soon. | 还没发明 不过快了 |
| [17:52] | It’s this photo app that, um, adds lasers to images, | 是一个图片应用 可以在照片上加激光 |
| [17:55] | so you could put lasers coming out of eyes, | 比如让眼睛射出激光 |
| [17:58] | or nipples, or buttholes. | 或者乳头 屁眼都行 |
| [18:00] | That’d be pretty cool, if it wasn’t already an app. | 如果还没有这类应用的话 那就很酷了 |
| [18:03] | Wow, you hands are big. | 你的手好大 |
| [18:05] | I don’t know what that mean– | 我不知道这意味着什么 |
| [18:07] | I could say something, like “Big hands,” or… right? | 我可以称之为”大手”或者 是吧 |
| [18:12] | Stop it. You’re so funny. | 打住 你太好笑了 |
| [18:15] | Have you ever heard of Bleepy? | 听说过哔哔吗 |
| [18:16] | Of course! Bleepy is huge! | 当然 哔哔超火的 |
| [18:18] | Well, I invented that. | 我发明的 |
| [18:19] | – No! – It’s obviously not my only capitalist venture at this time. | -不是吧 -这不是我目前唯一的风险投资项目 |
| [18:26] | Whoa, look at that. | 看那边 |
| [18:30] | Dude. | 姐们 |
| [18:32] | I’m definitely applying here next year. | 明年我绝对要申请来这上学 |
| [18:34] | Wait, I thought you said you’re a senior. | 什么 你不是说你快毕业了吗 |
| [18:37] | I am, at Morristown Prep Academy. | 没错 从莫里森预科学院毕业 |
| [18:41] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [18:42] | So, how… old are you? | 那你多大了 |
| [18:47] | 16. | 16岁 |
| [18:49] | Oh, I’ve done it again. | 我又干了一次 |
| [18:53] | I’m a repeated sex offender. | 我是个屡教不改的性侵犯 |
| [18:54] | I’m a monster, and I just have to deal with that, so… | 我是怪物 我必须接受这个事实 |
| [18:57] | Okay, okay. | 好了 好了 |
| [18:58] | So, you made out with a minor. | 你和未成年亲热 |
| [19:01] | You finished a couple of moments after a dude went unconscious. | 你在一个男子失去意识后 坚持做到高潮 |
| [19:06] | You’re a sex offender at worst! | 你最差就是个性侵犯 |
| [19:08] | Welcome to the club. | 欢迎加入俱乐部 |
| [19:10] | – Honestly. – There’s a club? | -说真的 -还有俱乐部 |
| [19:11] | I didn’t know there was a club. | 我不知道有俱乐部的存在 |
| [19:12] | Yeah, it’s, uh… it’s not hard to get into. | 有的 不难进 |
| [19:18] | And very, very happy birthday. | 祝你生日快乐 |
| [19:22] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [19:23] | – “Reginald Corolla”? – Yeah. | -雷金纳德·科罗拉 -嗯 |
| [19:25] | This asshole’s got $3,600 on his meal card. | 这货的饭卡上有3600块 |
| [19:29] | That’s awesome, ’cause my office | 太棒了 我办公室 |
| [19:31] | is right around the corner from an NYU dining hall. | 就挨着纽约大学的食堂 |
| [19:34] | – That’s amazing. – I love it. | -爽翻 -真好 |
| [19:35] | I am honored and thrilled | 我既荣幸又激动 |
| [19:39] | that you would steal something for me. | 你会为了我去偷东西 |
| [19:40] | – I feel like a fugitive. – Yeah? | -感觉自己像逃犯 -是吗 |
| [19:42] | And if anyone asks, I’ll say… | 如果有人问起 我就说 |
| [19:46] | the one-armed man took it. | 是独臂男拿的 |
| [19:50] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [19:52] | You don’t get it, do you? | 你没懂 对吗 |
| [19:53] | No, I don’t get it at all. | 完全没懂 |
| [20:00] | Ooh, you guys are gonna have to thank Aunt Abbi | 你们得谢谢艾比姨妈给你们提供的 |
| [20:02] | for your comfy new bed. | 舒适新床 |
| [20:04] | That’s her sweatshirt. | 这是她的运动衫 |
| [20:06] | We’re a happy family, right? | 我们是个快乐大家庭 对吗 |
| [20:08] | You got me, Daddy-Maddy. | 你有我 小马爸爸 |
| [20:10] | You got Odysseus, | 奥德修斯 |
| [20:12] | Medusa, Artemis, Hermes. | 美杜莎 阿尔忒弥斯 赫尔墨斯 |
| [20:16] | You got Drew– | 还有德鲁 |
| [20:18] | Drew? | 德鲁 |
| [20:19] | Guys, where is Drew? | 各位 德鲁呢 |
| [20:22] | Drew! | 德鲁 |
| [20:23] | It is so nice in here! | 这里面真舒服 |
| [20:25] | – So good. – It’s so good! | -特安逸 -特安逸 |
| [20:26] | – I feel amazing. – It’s amazing. | -我感觉好极了 -好极了 |
| [20:28] | It’s like a whole other apartment. | 就像个全新的公寓 |
| [20:28] | – It is, right? – Like a whole ‘nother apartment, yeah. | -是吧 -就像个全新的公寓 |
| [20:29] | Yes. Yes! | 是的 是的 |
| [20:32] | So good. | 爽翻 |
| [20:33] | So good. | 爽翻 |
| [20:34] | So good! | 爽翻 |
| [20:40] | Holy shit! | 我擦 |
| [20:45] | Who the fuck are you? | 你他妈是谁 |
| [20:46] | How did you get in here? | 你怎么进来的 |
| [20:47] | How did you get into my apartment? | 你是怎么进我公寓的 |
| [20:50] | You’re sitting here watching us? | 坐在这看我们 |
| [20:52] | You fucking perv! | 你个死变态 |
| [20:53] | Oh, yeah, hide! Oh, yeah, yeah, hide! | 就知道躲 还会什么 |
| [20:55] | Get in that box! | 滚进箱子里 |
| [20:56] | No, you’ve got some explaining to do! | 不 你得解释 |
| [20:58] | Are you sure that’s even a cat? | 你确定那是猫吗 |
| [21:06] | What a sweet boy you are. | 你真可爱 |
| [21:12] | I never seen that! | 我从没见过 |
| [21:14] | – I’m a good boy. – I never seen it… | -我是好孩子 -我从没见过 |
| [21:15] | – I’m a sweet boy. – In my life. No! | -我是好孩子 -我这辈子从没见过 |
| [21:17] | Don’t tell my mommy. I never seen that! | 别告诉我妈 我从没见过 |
| [21:20] | What is it? | 这是什么 |