| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | All right, he’s a 6. | 他6分 |
| [00:06] | Oh, totally a 6. Yum! | 绝对的6分 可口 |
| [00:09] | Oh, he’s a 7. | 他7 |
| [00:10] | No way! 5 1/2, tops. | 不可能 最多5.5 |
| [00:12] | Ouch! Okay, that’s harsh, right? | 真狠 是吧 |
| [00:15] | No, that’s what I like about it. | 不 我就喜欢这样的 |
| [00:17] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [00:19] | He’s a 10. I mean, look at him. | 他10分 看看他 |
| [00:22] | Eww, dude, a 10?! Like, get away! | 搞错没有 10分 滚出好吗 |
| [00:25] | I can’t believe you’re into that. | 不敢相信你喜欢这种 |
| [00:27] | I hope he’s, like, seven inches max. | 我希望他最多7英寸 |
| [00:29] | Inches? I thought we were rating them on hotness. | 英寸 我们不是在按他们的性感度打分吗 |
| [00:32] | I thought we were rating them on dick size. | 我以为我们在按丁丁长度打分 |
| [00:33] | Why would we be rating them on dick size? | 为什么要按丁丁长度打分 |
| [00:35] | Abbi, why wouldn’t we be rating them on dick size? | 艾比 为什么不呢 |
| [00:38] | It’s all I can see. | 我只能看到这个 |
| [00:39] | Those b-ball shorts are God’s gift. | 篮球裤是上帝的礼物 |
| [00:44] | If you train your eyes, you can see their religion. | 如果你锻炼你的眼力 你能看出他们的信仰 |
| [01:04] | Hey, ladies, | 姑娘们 |
| [01:05] | your staring is making some of the guys feel uncomfortable. | 你们一直盯着让有些人不自在了 |
| [01:14] | Seven. | 7分 |
| [01:27] | Damn-a! | 我去 |
| [01:28] | I’ve never been to a restaurant this nice. | 我从没来过这么高端的餐厅 |
| [01:33] | I’ve never even worked at a restaurant this nice. | 我甚至从没在这么高端的餐厅工作过 |
| [01:37] | I read their molten lava cake is “life-changing.” | 我看报道说他们的巧克力熔岩蛋糕能改变你的人生 |
| [01:40] | Perfect for your birthday. | 给你生日的完美礼物 |
| [01:41] | Oprah says that your birthday dictates | 奥普拉说你的生日决定了 |
| [01:43] | the kind of year you’re about to have. | 你接下来这年会怎样 |
| [01:45] | I haven’t eaten a thing in the past 36 hours | 过去36小时里我什么都没吃 |
| [01:48] | in order to be able to, like, really stuff myself | 就为了能往肚子里塞 |
| [01:51] | with as much expensive food as possible. | 尽可能多的昂贵食物 |
| [01:53] | It’s gonna raise my market value, like, so much. | 这会极大提升我的市场价值 |
| [01:56] | I’m gonna have a high high-end year. | 我将度过高端的一年 |
| [01:59] | I’ve been overeating this week | 这周我一直在大吃大喝 |
| [02:01] | and then emptying myself with laxatives. | 然后再吃泻药排空 |
| [02:03] | It’s been working really well. Too well. | 效果很好 非常好 |
| [02:05] | My underwear is filled– | 我的内裤里全是 |
| [02:07] | Good evening, mademoiselles. | 晚上好 两位小姐 |
| [02:08] | Hi. Enchante, uh, monsieur. | 你好 很高兴认识你 先生 |
| [02:11] | My dad– my father figure | 我爸爸 我家父 |
| [02:14] | has made a reservation under Abbi Abrams for two. | 用艾比·艾布拉姆斯的名字预定了两个座位 |
| [02:17] | I believe his payment card should be on file. | 应该有他的付款记录 |
| [02:20] | We are on celebration… | 我们是来庆祝 |
| [02:23] | for my birthday. | 我的生日 |
| [02:24] | Oh, how wonderful. | 真好 |
| [02:26] | May I take your coats? | 请把外套给我 |
| [02:28] | Please… do. | 请便 |
| [02:31] | Here you go. | 给 |
| [02:33] | Would you care to keep your jacket, Madame? | 你想留着你的外套吗 女士 |
| [02:36] | It looks like you may be cold. | 可能会着凉 |
| [02:38] | I’m perfect. | 我没事 |
| [02:39] | Loving the temp. | 喜欢这的温度 |
| [02:42] | – You look amazing. – You look amazing. | -你美死了 -你美死了 |
| [02:43] | – Stop it. – Give me a spin. | -打住 -转一圈 |
| [02:44] | – I feel amazing. – Give me a spin. | -我感觉很棒 -转一圈 |
| [02:46] | Oof! Oof! Love it. | 爱死了 |
| [02:48] | So, uh, I know that B-Z, Beyonce and Jay-Z, ate here recently, | 我知道BZ 碧昂斯和Jay-Z最近光顾过这里 |
| [02:53] | and, um, we would really love to be seated at their table. | 我们很想坐他们当时的座位 |
| [02:56] | Of course you would. | 当然了 |
| [02:59] | – I like him. – Yeah. | -我喜欢他 -嗯 |
| [03:02] | So, where did, um, Beyonce sit and where did Jay sit exactly? | 碧昂斯和Jay-Z分别坐的哪呢 |
| [03:07] | Uh, yes, Ms. Knowles sat here and Mr. Carter sat here. | 是的 诺尔斯女士坐的这 卡特先生坐的这 |
| [03:12] | Do you freak out when celebrities come in here? | 名人来吃饭 你会不知所措吗 |
| [03:15] | Yes. That’s why I love my job. | 是的 所以我喜欢我的工作 |
| [03:17] | – Enjoy your meals. – Thank you. | -请慢用 -谢谢 |
| [03:21] | Oh, wait! Are– Are you Beyonce or Jay-Z? | 等等 你是碧昂斯还是Jay-Z |
| [03:24] | Part of me feels like I would be Jay-Z, | 一部分的我觉得自己是Jay-Z |
| [03:26] | but then I know that you would maybe want to be a dude. | 但我知道你想当男生 |
| [03:28] | You’re right. | 是的 |
| [03:29] | And Beyonce and I do have similar curves. | 而我和碧昂斯有相似的曲线 |
| [03:32] | Oh, yes. You’re B, I’m Jay. | 是的 你是B 我是Jay |
| [03:33] | I’m Jay. | 我是Jay |
| [03:36] | Hello. My name is John. I’ll be your server tonight. | 你们好 我是约翰 今晚我将为你们服务 |
| [03:38] | – Hi, John. – Hi, John. | -你好 约翰 -你好 约翰 |
| [03:40] | I understand you lovely ladies will be having | 我知道两位女士今晚将享用 |
| [03:42] | the seafood prix fixe dinner this evening. | 海鲜定价套餐 |
| [03:44] | Excellent. Before we get started, | 很好 在上菜之前 |
| [03:46] | are there any food allergies you’d like me to know about? | 有没有什么食物过敏需要告知我 |
| [03:48] | Yeah, peanut allergies are a really big deal. | 花生过敏很严重 |
| [03:50] | You gotta be careful, they can be so fatal. | 你必须小心 可能会致命 |
| [03:52] | Gluten, which I think is like an adult human thing | 麸质 我觉得在所有过敏食物里 |
| [03:55] | across the board– | 就好比成年人 |
| [03:56] | No. I actually meant if you have any food allergies | 不 我是问你们有没有什么食物过敏 |
| [03:59] | you’d like me to know about. | 想让我知道 |
| [04:02] | No, none that I, uh, want to share with you. | 不 没有我想跟你说的 |
| [04:06] | Well, allow me to tell you about our first course. | 好的 我来给你们介绍下今晚的第一道菜 |
| [04:08] | It is a local pureed chard | 是本地的甜菜泥 |
| [04:10] | that is topped with poached crab | 上面是水煮蟹肉 |
| [04:12] | and then splashed with a really yummy ramp dressing. | 并撒有很好吃的野韭 |
| [04:15] | I love yummy ramps. | 我喜欢野韭 |
| [04:16] | Oh, I love, um, chards. | 我喜欢甜菜 |
| [04:18] | We like to say here that ramp is the truffle of onions. | 在这我们喜欢说野韭是洋葱里的松露 |
| [04:21] | It’s a dumb little joke. | 很弱智的一个笑话 |
| [04:23] | We like to say that, too. That’s funny. | 我们也喜欢这么说 很好笑 |
| [04:27] | Now have you guys been to Octavia before? | 你们来过奥克塔维亚餐厅吗 |
| [04:28] | No, we are poppin’ our cherry. | 没 这是我们的第一次 |
| [04:32] | Well, you just let me do the driving. | 这样 那就让我来给二位带路吧 |
| [04:33] | I’m gonna take excellent care of you guys tonight. | 我会给你们提供贴心服务 |
| [04:35] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [04:36] | Once again… je m’appelle John, and bonne anniversaire. | 再说一次 我是约翰 生日快乐 |
| [04:40] | Oh, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [04:43] | He’s tall and he’s bilingual? | 他这么高还会说两门语言 |
| [04:45] | I’m short and I can’t speak English good. | 我又矮 英语还说得”难” |
| [04:47] | He probably has a French press | 他多半还有个咖啡壶 |
| [04:49] | and one of those things that in the bathroom | 和那个卫生间里 |
| [04:50] | you clean your butthole with. | 用来洗屁股的 |
| [04:52] | – Oh, a bidet. – A bidet. | -净身盆 -净身盆 |
| [04:53] | He’s so classy. | 他好有品位 |
| [04:55] | Totally. | 是啊 |
| [04:56] | You’re bad-mouthing me to Anton now? | 你现在开始给安东说我坏话了 |
| [04:58] | You cannot find one minute to go pick my sister up at the airport? | 你连去机场接我妹妹的时间都没 |
| [05:01] | Tell her fat ass to flag down a cab like a person. | 叫她个死胖子像正常人一样自己拦车 |
| [05:03] | My sister is an ex-junkie, John, okay? | 我妹妹以前是瘾君子 约翰 好吗 |
| [05:05] | She needs someone to pick her up, | 她需要有人去接她 |
| [05:05] | – she can’t be unsupervised. – Jesus Christ, she’s a grown woman. | -她不能一个人 -老天 她是大人了 |
| [05:08] | She can’t be babysat her whole life, Cheryl. | 她不能一辈子都被人照顾 谢丽尔 |
| [05:10] | Well, thank you so much for the support. | 真感谢你的支持 |
| [05:11] | Support? Tell her to give back the laptop she stole. | 支持 让她把偷走的笔记本还回来 |
| [05:13] | She never stole that! | 她没有偷 |
| [05:14] | You have no proof that she– Are you kidding me? | 你没有证据 你逗我呢 |
| [05:15] | – You need to wake up. – What? You’re crazy. | -你该醒醒了 -什么 你疯了 |
| [05:17] | I don’t know that she gave us bedbugs for sure, | 我不确定是不是她把臭虫带到我们家的 |
| [05:18] | but I’m pretty damn positive. | 但多半就是 |
| [05:19] | This is why I wanted you to go to Al Anon. | 所以我希望你去参加嗜酒者互诫协会 |
| [05:21] | Salmon, we got onion rings, we got a gumbo. | 三文鱼 洋葱圈 秋葵汤 |
| [05:24] | How’s the steak doing? | 牛排做得怎么样了 |
| [05:26] | Every once in a while, I like a finger. | 每隔一段时间 我就想被手指戳 |
| [05:28] | Amen. | 阿门 |
| [05:30] | Nose, vagina, butthole. | 鼻子 阴道 屁眼 |
| [05:32] | If God didn’t want us to put our fingers in there, | 如果上帝不想我们把手指伸进去 |
| [05:34] | then why did She make them perfectly finger-sized? | 那为什么她要把这些造成刚好适合手指呢 |
| [05:37] | Exactly, that’s what they’re for. | 就是 它们就是用来被戳的 |
| [05:39] | And here’s your amuse-bouche. | 这是你们的餐前点心 |
| [05:41] | Enjoy, ladies. | 两位慢用 |
| [05:43] | Your 26th year is starting off so badass it is blowing my mind. | 你26岁的开端好赞 我被震惊了 |
| [05:47] | It is, right? | 可不是 |
| [05:48] | I had slightly above-average sex last night, | 我昨晚经历了比平均水平稍微高点的性生活 |
| [05:51] | which for me, you know, is incredible sex. | 对我来说 你懂的 就是无与伦比 |
| [05:54] | For most. | 对大多数人都这样 |
| [05:56] | You know what? To Doug. For turning you out. | 敬道格 让你开窍了 |
| [06:01] | I planned it so that we were doing it | 我计划好的 我在零时零分 |
| [06:03] | at the stroke of midnight, as I turned 26. | 一边做爱 一边步入26岁 |
| [06:07] | You have given yourself a truly | 你给了你自己 |
| [06:08] | spiritual sexual experience. | 一次真正精神上的性爱经历 |
| [06:10] | You know, I just feel, like, really good inside. | 我内心感觉非常好 |
| [06:14] | You know what? I gotta pee. I’ll be right back. | 我得去尿尿 马上就回 |
| [06:19] | And how is everything so far? | 感觉怎么样 |
| [06:21] | So delicious. | 非常好吃 |
| [06:22] | I just want to thank you for your service | 我只想谢谢你的服务 |
| [06:24] | and your joie de, uh… | 还有你jooge的 |
| [06:27] | jooge. | 乐趣 |
| [06:28] | Oh, well, it’s my pleasure. | 我的荣幸 |
| [06:29] | Ours, too, as well. | 也是我们的 |
| [06:33] | Mmm. So soft. | 真软 |
| [06:51] | I just peed out a condom. | 我刚尿出了一个套套 |
| [06:59] | Clams Persimmico in a gold leaf glaze. | 金箔釉装蛤蚌 |
| [07:02] | Bon appetit. | 祝胃口好 |
| [07:03] | Thank you so much. This looks incredible. | 非常感谢 看上去真棒 |
| [07:05] | May I grab you another fork? | 需要我再给你拿一把叉子吗 |
| [07:07] | This is perfect, thank you. | 这就很好 谢谢你 |
| [07:10] | Well, hello, my fancy girl– | 你好 我时髦的妹子 |
| [07:11] | No, don’t, I’m not fancy, I’m disgusting. | 我不时髦 我好恶心 |
| [07:14] | I went to the bathroom, and then– | 我去了厕所 然后 |
| [07:16] | and then I was going to the bathroom, | 然后我正准备开始尿 |
| [07:18] | and then a condom fell out of me. | 然后掉出了一个套套 |
| [07:23] | Did you pee it or poop it? | 你是尿还是拉出来的 |
| [07:25] | I peed it. | 尿的 |
| [07:26] | Why’d you immediately go there? I didn’t poop it, dude. | 你怎么一下就想到那个 不是拉出来的 |
| [07:29] | Hey, it’s 2014. | 已经2014年了 |
| [07:30] | Anal’s on the menu. | 肛交也很正常 |
| [07:32] | I can’t even believe that, like, I didn’t notice it. | 我不敢相信我当时竟然没有注意到 |
| [07:33] | I was, like, very present, you know? | 我明明就在现场 |
| [07:35] | I don’t know how he didn’t notice it. | 我不懂他为什么没有注意到 |
| [07:37] | It happens to everybody. | 这种事人人都能遇到 |
| [07:38] | – Has it happened to you? – No. | -你遇到过吗 -没有 |
| [07:41] | Everything I’ve done has happened to you. | 我做的所有事你都遇到过 |
| [07:43] | Not yet is what I meant to say. | 我是想说我还没遇到 |
| [07:45] | So what? You’re a nasty bitch, who cares? | 所以呢 你是个肮脏的婊子 谁在乎 |
| [07:47] | – All right. – Let’s go get high, | -好吧 -我们去嗑药 |
| [07:49] | and then we can enjoy this clams Filipino even more. | 然后我们就可以更享受这个菲律宾蛤蚌了 |
| [07:51] | Okay. That’s a good idea. | 好主意 |
| [07:56] | Hi, would you mind making sure they don’t take those clams? | 你好 你能确保他们不把蛤蚌拿走吗 |
| [07:59] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [08:03] | You know, I know you’re in your head, but… | 我知道你现在有点懵 但是 |
| [08:06] | this birthday is a maje improvement from last year’s. | 这次生日已经比去年好了很多 |
| [08:09] | Yeah, well, I shouldn’t have tried | 我不该给自己 |
| [08:11] | to throw myself a surprise party. | 办惊喜派对 |
| [08:12] | – You should have tried. – It was a mistake. | -你该的 -那是个错误 |
| [08:16] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [08:18] | Want a hit? | 想抽一口吗 |
| [08:23] | Thanks for the food. It’s amazingly delicious. | 谢谢你们的食物 特别好吃 |
| [08:26] | I don’t prepare the food. I just, uh, clear the plates. | 我不负责做菜 我是洗盘子的 |
| [08:29] | Yeah, but… you know. | 嗯 但你懂的 |
| [08:33] | You know what I’ve been thinking about? | 知道我在想什么吗 |
| [08:35] | Every animal, | 我们小时候 |
| [08:36] | from every movie we’ve loved as a kid, | 喜欢的每部电影里的每个动物 |
| [08:39] | probably dead. | 可能都死了 |
| [08:40] | Think about it. Air Bud – dead. | 你想想 飞狗巴迪 死了 |
| [08:42] | All 101 Dalmatians are probably dead. | 101条斑点狗里所有狗可能都死了 |
| [08:46] | I guess Babe from “Babe” is dead. | 《小猪宝贝》里的猪麦估计也死了 |
| [08:48] | Ooh, we could have eaten Babe tonight. | 我们今晚可能吃了猪麦 |
| [08:50] | Well, maybe not. | 也许没有 |
| [08:52] | Pigs live longer than dogs. | 猪比狗活得久 |
| [08:53] | I think they might live longer than humans? | 可能比人类还久 |
| [08:55] | I think that’s turtles. | 那是乌龟吧 |
| [08:57] | Tramp, from “Lady and the Tramp.” | 《小姐与流氓》里的流氓 |
| [09:03] | Tramp’s a cartoon. | 那是卡通片 |
| [09:06] | I know that. | 我知道 |
| [09:08] | – She was for real. – I know that it was a cartoon. | -她竟然是认真的 -我知道是卡通片 |
| [09:09] | Uh, I gotta go, but thanks. | 我得走了 谢谢 |
| [09:11] | No worries. | 客气 |
| [09:13] | Hey, and I know you didn’t make the food, but… you will one day. | 我知道你不是做菜的 但总有一天你会的 |
| [09:17] | Uh… thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [09:20] | You know, that Tramp was my first sexual crush. | 流氓是我的第一个性幻想对象 |
| [09:23] | He was hot. He was like a spunky bad boy. | 它性感 就像一个充满活力的痞子 |
| [09:26] | You know who was mine? Stimpy. | 知道我的是谁吗 史丁比 |
| [09:29] | Stimpy from “Ren and Stimpy”? | 《莱恩和史丁比》里的史丁比吗 |
| [09:32] | Yeah, I feel like he has a similar build to Lincoln. | 对 我感觉他体型和林肯很像 |
| [10:03] | They left your clams. | 他们把蛤蚌留下了 |
| [10:06] | The world is good, dude. | 世界真好 |
| [10:09] | Ilana, hold on, are you okay? | 阿拉娜 你还好吗 |
| [10:11] | Your face is like really red | 你脸好红 |
| [10:13] | and your eye is blowing up. | 眼睛也肿了 |
| [10:16] | Full disclosure: | 充分披露 |
| [10:18] | I’m a little allergic to shellfish. | 我对贝类有点过敏 |
| [10:21] | That’s all we’ve been eating tonight. | 我们今晚一直吃的都是这个 |
| [10:23] | I really know my body, dude. | 我很了解自己的身体 |
| [10:24] | I go up to the edge and then I scale it back. | 快到危险界限时马上就退回来 |
| [10:26] | I’m good at it, honestly. | 我很拿手 真的 |
| [10:28] | It looks worse than it is, I feel great. | 实际没看上去这么糟 我感觉很棒 |
| [10:31] | How do I not know that you’re allergic to shellfish? | 我怎么不知道你对贝类过敏 |
| [10:33] | You don’t know everything about me. | 你又不了解我的一切 |
| [10:34] | I feel like I do. | 我感觉我了解 |
| [10:35] | You text me every time you take a dump. | 你每次大便都给我发短信 |
| [10:37] | I know about the pimple on your nipple | 我知道你乳头上的粉刺 |
| [10:38] | and I’m, like, the holder of your Social Security card. | 我是你社保卡的持有人 |
| [10:40] | I have mystery, too. I haven’t even told you yet | 我也有秘密 我还没跟你说过 |
| [10:43] | that I want to put my fist in our waiter’s mouth sexually. | 我想把我的拳头放进我们侍应生的嘴里拳交 |
| [10:47] | I feel like he only has sex on top of baby grands. | 我感觉他只会在婴儿钢琴上做爱 |
| [10:50] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [10:51] | He’s so classy. | 他好有品位 |
| [10:52] | You know what? Maybe I should find a girlfriend | 也许我该找个 |
| [10:54] | who will actually come see my band play. | 会来看我乐队表演的女友 |
| [10:55] | John, I told you when we met that I hate music. | 约翰 我们认识时就跟你说了我讨厌音乐 |
| [10:58] | What kind of weirdo hates music, Cheryl? | 什么样的奇葩讨厌音乐 谢丽尔 |
| [11:00] | Mario, we see you in the corner. | 马里奥 我们看到你了 |
| [11:01] | Everybody can tell that you’re stoned. | 是人都知道你嗨了 |
| [11:02] | Don’t listen to her, Mario. | 别听她说 马里奥 |
| [11:03] | – Smoke all the weed you want, bro. – How dare you! | -你尽管抽大麻 -你好大的胆 |
| [11:05] | Don’t forget whose name is on the lease. | 别忘了租契上的名字是谁的 |
| [11:06] | “How dare you?” | 你好大的胆 |
| [11:07] | You know what? I’ll cancel the cable, | 我去把有线电视服务取消 |
| [11:09] | then have fun figuring out | 祝你猜中 |
| [11:10] | what happens on “Homeland,” you gross baby. | 《国土安全》的剧情 恶心婴儿 |
| [11:13] | I need a 42. | 我需要一份42 |
| [11:14] | I need an onion ring, | 洋葱圈 |
| [11:15] | I need a tagliatelle with light sauce. | 浅色酱油意大利干面条 |
| [11:20] | All right. | 好的 |
| [11:22] | Here is the shellfish medley. | 这是贝类拼盘 |
| [11:24] | I’m really excited for you guys to try this. | 很期待你们品尝这个 |
| [11:26] | We have crab three ways and lobster nine ways. | 三种方式烹饪的螃蟹 九种方式烹饪的龙虾 |
| [11:29] | Get in my belly! | 统统下肚 |
| [11:31] | You guys are a kick. Oh, man. | 你们真逗 |
| [11:34] | Anyway, like I was saying, | 总之 就跟我刚才说的一样 |
| [11:36] | I know I can’t really sing. | 我知道我不会唱歌 |
| [11:38] | But I feel like if I had, like, private lessons | 但我觉得如果我上过私人课 |
| [11:41] | and learned how to, like, really breathe, | 学习如何呼吸 |
| [11:42] | then I could, like, I could sing really well. | 我就能唱得很好 |
| [11:46] | But don’t repeat that to anybody. | 不过别说出去 |
| [11:48] | I won’t. | 不会的 |
| [11:51] | Oh, my gosh. Ilana, Doug’s calling. | 天 阿拉娜 道格来电话了 |
| [11:52] | Pick it up. Tell him… | 接啊 跟他说 |
| [11:54] | not to leave his trash inside your body. | 别把他的垃圾留在你的体内 |
| [11:57] | I’m gonna. I’ll be right back. | 我会的 马上就回来 |
| [11:59] | You get it, girl. | 去吧 |
| [12:09] | I had a really good time last night. | 我昨晚很开心 |
| [12:10] | Yeah, so did I, | 我也是 |
| [12:11] | until I came to this really fancy restaurant | 直到我来到这家高级餐厅 |
| [12:14] | for my birthday and I peed out a condom. | 庆祝我生日 尿出了一个套套 |
| [12:18] | Ohh! What? | 什么 |
| [12:20] | Yeah, I know. | 没想到吧 |
| [12:21] | Did you not notice that you were missing a condom? | 你套套掉了你没注意到吗 |
| [12:24] | We didn’t use a condom last night, | 我们昨晚没用套 |
| [12:26] | so, no, I wasn’t keeping track. | 所以我没有注意 |
| [12:27] | – What?! – Oh, sorry. | -什么 -抱歉 |
| [12:29] | We didn’t use a condom– | 我们没用套 |
| [12:31] | I heard you. | 我听到了 |
| [12:31] | What do you mean we didn’t use a condom? | 没用套什么意思 |
| [12:33] | I took it off. I thought you saw. | 我取下来了 我以为你看到了 |
| [12:35] | No, I didn’t see that. | 不 我没看到 |
| [12:36] | Because, like a lady, | 因为 我是淑女 |
| [12:38] | I keep my eyes closed when I make love. | 做爱的时候闭着眼睛 |
| [12:40] | You’re a condom girl. | 你喜欢用套 |
| [12:42] | I will make a note of that for next time. | 下次我会记住的 |
| [12:44] | There’s not gonna be a next time. | 不会有下次了 |
| [12:45] | Are you sure, Abbi? | 你确定吗 艾比 |
| [12:48] | No, I’m not sure, | 不 我不确定 |
| [12:49] | ’cause I’m not sure about anything. | 因为我什么都不确定 |
| [12:52] | Something just fell out of my body, | 有东西刚从我身体里掉出来 |
| [12:55] | so I gotta go deal with that, | 我得去处理 |
| [12:57] | and you need to deal with me dealing with that. | 你得接受我处理这事 |
| [12:59] | Well, you do what you got to do, girl. | 你做你该做的 |
| [13:03] | All right, well, maybe I’ll talk to you soon. | 那有机会再聊 |
| [13:04] | You will. | 你会的 |
| [13:09] | Okay. Seafood turducken. | 海鲜特大啃 |
| [13:12] | We have a small Maine clam inside the mouth of a lobster | 一个大缅因蛤蚌里包了一只龙虾 |
| [13:16] | inside a larger Maine clam. | 龙虾嘴里含了一个小缅因蛤蚌 |
| [13:18] | Yum. | 好吃 |
| [13:20] | Seafood paradise. | 海鲜天堂 |
| [13:22] | – All righty. – You know, I’m gonna | -好的 -我要 |
| [13:23] | suck on those legs a little longer, so… | 再继续吸它们的腿 |
| [13:25] | Thanks so much. | 非常感谢 |
| [13:28] | Oh, my God, Ilana, your face looks insane. | 天 阿拉娜 你的脸太恐怖了 |
| [13:30] | Hey, this is what living on the edge looks like. | 活在悬崖边上就是这样 |
| [13:34] | It’s not that bad. I could still wink, see? | 没那么糟 我还可以眨眼 看 |
| [13:41] | Yeah, this is pretty bad. | 确实很糟 |
| [13:43] | But honestly, I know my limit. | 但是讲真 我了解我的极限 |
| [13:45] | I’m just pacing myself for that lava cake. | 我吃得慢 是在为熔岩蛋糕做准备 |
| [13:47] | Okay, you’ve absolutely reached the limit. | 你已经到达极限了 |
| [13:50] | Your face looks like the underbelly of a tugboat. | 你的脸看上去像拖船的下面 |
| [13:53] | Listen, we are here celebrating your birthday, okay? | 我们是来庆祝你生日的 |
| [13:56] | Yeah, and for my birthday | 我的生日愿望 |
| [13:57] | I would love for you to stay alive. | 是你不要死掉 |
| [14:00] | Abbi, I am a veteran of this game. | 艾比 我是老油条了 |
| [14:02] | I got three to three and a half servings | 我还能吃3到3份半的 |
| [14:03] | of shellfish left in me. I feel it. | 贝类 我能感觉到 |
| [14:06] | And then my throat’s gonna start to close up | 然后我的喉咙会慢慢关上 |
| [14:08] | and you’ll just stab me with an epi pen. It’s not a big deal. | 你用肾上腺素笔戳我 没什么的 |
| [14:10] | Where am I getting an epi pen? | 我上哪去找肾上腺素笔 |
| [14:11] | From my clutch. Durr! | 当然是我的手提包 |
| [14:14] | So you planned on having me stab you with an epi pen? | 所以你计划好了我用肾上腺素笔戳你 |
| [14:17] | You know, stop trying to change the subject. | 别转移话题 |
| [14:18] | What did Doug say to you on the phone? | 道格在电话里说了什么 |
| [14:20] | Okay, so, it turns out that, um, | 好吧 结果 |
| [14:23] | he wasn’t wearing a condom last night. | 他昨晚根本没戴套 |
| [14:26] | What?! | 什么 |
| [14:27] | It had to have been the condom | 只可能是那晚 |
| [14:28] | from the other night with boring Ben, | 无聊本用的了 |
| [14:31] | which means that… | 也就是说 |
| [14:34] | there was a condom in my person for four days. | 套套在我体内待了四天 |
| [14:38] | Normally, I would be overjoyed | 通常情况下 我会很开心 |
| [14:41] | that you had sex twice in one week. | 你一周内做了两次爱 |
| [14:43] | Okay, I could have sworn that he was– | 我发誓 他 |
| [14:46] | You could have sworn what? | 你发什么誓 |
| [14:47] | Not only are we talking STDs here, | 我们不仅在说性病 |
| [14:50] | I can’t even imagine how many dudes | 我无法想象有多少男人 |
| [14:52] | would love to lock you down with an unexpected pregnancy. | 希望让你意外怀孕 |
| [14:55] | I mean, what do you think– | 你以为 |
| [14:57] | All right, the Alaskan king crab stew. | 阿拉斯加帝王蟹汤 |
| [15:00] | And I do hope you ladies enjoy it. | 希望两位喜欢 |
| [15:02] | Thank you so much, John. | 谢谢你 约翰 |
| [15:07] | I mean, your body is a temple. | 你的身体就像寺庙 |
| [15:10] | You’ve got to respect it. | 你得尊重它 |
| [15:11] | Ilana, stop, that’s enough. | 阿拉娜 够了 |
| [15:13] | – No, enough. – Hey, two more bites. It is so expensive. | -不 够了 -再吃两口 这么贵 |
| [15:15] | Ilana, stop eating– okay. We’re not doing this anymore. | 阿拉娜 别吃了 必须停下 |
| [15:17] | No, one more, one more. | 不 再吃一口 就一口 |
| [15:19] | Come on, take this pen. | 过来 我给你打 |
| [15:20] | – No, no! – Ilana, take the pen. | -不 不 -阿拉娜 来打 |
| [15:21] | Aah! God! | 天 |
| [15:23] | I stabbed myself. | 我戳到自己了 |
| [15:24] | I just stabbed myself! | 我戳到自己了 |
| [15:30] | Adrenaline! | 肾上腺素 |
| [15:33] | I… could actually take that pen. | 我正好需要那支笔 |
| [15:36] | I feel so alive right now! | 我感觉好有活力 |
| [15:38] | What’s going on? | 怎么回事 |
| [15:39] | Ilana, I got you, girl. | 阿拉娜 别怕 |
| [15:40] | It’s my birthday, I’m the king of the world! | 今天是我生日 我是世界之王 |
| [15:43] | Wait, wait. | 等等 |
| [15:44] | We’ll take those two molten lava cakes to go. | 我们要打包带走那两个熔岩蛋糕 |
| [15:48] | 26, 26! | 26岁 26岁 |
| [15:51] | Yes, thank you, I need an ambulance | 谢谢 请派一辆救护车 |
| [15:53] | to Octavia restaurant, please. | 到奥克塔维亚餐厅 谢谢 |
| [15:54] | Why don’t you have the ambulance drop you off at a mental hospital? | 你怎么不叫救护车把你送到精神病院去 |
| [15:56] | Because you’re a crazy person. | 因为你是疯子 |
| [15:58] | I hope you die in your sleep. | 希望你死在睡梦中 |
| [15:59] | I am gonna die because you’re killing me slowly. | 我会死的 因为你在慢慢杀我 |
| [16:01] | Yes, it’s an allergic reaction to seafood. | 是的 是海鲜过敏 |
| [16:03] | Speak clearly. Someone is dying. | 说清楚点 有人要死了 |
| [16:05] | Unbelievable. | 不可理喻 |
| [16:07] | I’m king of the world! | 我是世界之王 |
| [16:09] | Abbi, you are the love of my… life. | 艾比 你是我一生挚爱 |
| [16:31] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [16:51] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [16:59] | We got this. | 我们可以的 |
| [17:00] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [17:05] | You know what I was thinking about? | 知道我在想什么吗 |
| [17:07] | I have no clue. | 不知道 |
| [17:09] | After tonight, I realized | 今晚过后 我意识到 |
| [17:11] | we gotta get back into our bucket list, dude. | 我们得重新开始完成我们的遗愿清单 |
| [17:14] | – Yes. – We let it go for too long. | -是的 -我们遗忘太久了 |
| [17:15] | I don’t want to wait till we’re dead to actually get to it. | 我不想等我们死了才开始完成 |
| [17:17] | I have them, I’ll pull them up. | 我有 我翻出来 |
| [17:20] | There’s a lot on here. I think we need to make some edits. | 有好多 我们得编辑一下 |
| [17:22] | Why? What’s on there? | 为什么 写了些什么 |
| [17:24] | Okay, mine – own an elliptical. | 我的 拥有一台踏步机 |
| [17:27] | Go to a pug farm. | 去一个哈巴狗农场 |
| [17:29] | I just want to, like, lay with, like, a lot of pugs. You know? | 我只想和很多哈巴狗躺在一起 |
| [17:33] | Do heroin under the aurora borealis. | 在北极光下嗑海洛因 |
| [17:35] | Okay, so none of those can go. Good luck editing. | 这些都不可行 祝你编辑顺利 |
| [17:40] | – What are some of mine? – Okay. | -我的呢 -我看看 |
| [17:42] | Make your own Passover Seder. | 办自己的逾越节家宴 |
| [17:45] | To be able to squirt. | 掌握潮吹 |
| [17:47] | – Hello. – Okay. | -当然了 -好的 |
| [17:49] | To be held in Abbi’s arms. You did that tonight. | 被艾比抱着 今晚就做了 |
| [17:53] | You carried me. | 你把我抱了起来 |
| [17:55] | Yeah. Guess I’m pretty strong. Who knew? | 嗯 看来我很强壮 谁能想到 |
| [17:58] | Mr. Rosenberg? | 罗森博格先生 |
| [17:59] | Mr. Rosenberg. He’s not breathing. | 罗森博格先生 他没呼吸了 |
| [18:02] | Blue team to the ER. | 抢救小组到急诊室 |
| [18:06] | Draw four units of ACE inhibitors. | 取4个单位的血管收缩转化酶抑制剂 |
| [18:07] | Blood pressure dropping. 60 over 30. | 血压在下降 高压60 低压30 |
| [18:10] | One milligram of epinephrine in. | 注射了一毫克肾上腺素 |
| [18:13] | Get the pads. | 电击板拿过来 |
| [18:15] | Paddles charging, clear. | 充电 安全 |
| [18:18] | Patient not responsive. | 病人没有反应 |
| [18:20] | Clear! | 安全 |
| [18:27] | Time of death, 2:47 AM. | 死亡时间 凌晨2:47 |
| [18:40] | You know what another one of mine is? | 知道我还有一个遗愿是什么吗 |
| [18:41] | To be an Asian girl. | 成为亚洲女生 |
| [18:45] | To be one? | 成为 |
| [18:46] | I mean, if technology ever allows for it, | 如果科技允许 |
| [18:49] | I’d actually love a crack at every race. | 我想每个人种都体验一次 |
| [18:54] | All right, I’ll add it to the list. | 我添加进清单 |
| [18:58] | I’m just gonna say it. | 我要说出来 |
| [19:00] | First night of my 26th year– | 26岁的第一个晚上 |
| [19:01] | pee out a condom, go to the hospital. | 尿出了一个套套 进了医院 |
| [19:04] | I think that that means that this year is just gonna be really– | 这意味着今年将会很 |
| [19:06] | Fun and cool and fresh? | 有趣 酷毙 新鲜 |
| [19:07] | Well, I was gonna say awesome, but yeah. | 我是想说很棒 |
| [19:09] | Okay, it will be, except | 会的 只是 |
| [19:12] | I will be imposing the strictest condom policies. | 我将实行最严格的套子政策 |
| [19:16] | From now on, you will be sending me a picture | 从现在起 每一个你即将 |
| [19:19] | of every dick that you are about to… host | 招待的丁丁 你都得给我发一张 |
| [19:23] | wearing a condom. | 它戴套的照片 |
| [19:25] | – Deal? – No deal. | -成交吗 -不成交 |
| [19:27] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [19:28] | Do you know who’s at the top of my mom’s gross sex list? | 你知道谁排在我妈最恶心炮友名单的第一吗 |
| [19:31] | Howie Mandel. | 霍伊·曼德尔 |
| [19:33] | Wait, your mom has a gross sex list? | 什么 你妈有恶心炮友名单 |
| [19:35] | Yeah, my whole family does. | 嗯 我全家都有 |
| [19:36] | We play this game, it is hysterical. | 我们玩这个游戏 超级搞笑 |
| [19:38] | Who is the grossest person | 谁是你仍然想 |
| [19:40] | you still kind of want to have sex with? | 发生关系的最恶心人士 |
| [19:41] | Oh, okay, well, mine would– | 这个 我的会是 |
| [19:43] | – Mine would obviously– – It just, um, it can’t be a cartoon. | -我的显然是 -不能是卡通人物 |
| [19:45] | Okay. Well… | 好 |
| [19:48] | Okay… | 想到了 |
| [19:50] | Mmm… O.J. | OJ[OJ·辛普森] |
| [19:53] | Yeah, yeah. | 对 对 |
| [19:55] | Definitely O.J. | 绝对是OJ |
| [19:56] | Oh, my God! | 我的天 |
| [19:58] | Dude, in his day, he was a solid man. | 在他那个年代 他算是极品了 |
| [20:01] | – Like, he was a 10. – Oh, he was gorgeous. | -他10分 -他帅哭 |
| [20:02] | – He was a 10. – No, no, no. | -他是10分 -不不不 |
| [20:04] | He was on the cover of magazines and stuff. | 他上了很多杂志封面 |
| [20:05] | I’m just, like, floored by what a good answer that is | 我只是被你的绝妙答案震惊了 |
| [20:08] | and you’ve never played this before. | 而你还从没玩过这个游戏 |
| [20:10] | I have never even thought of a murderer. | 我从没考虑过杀人犯 |
| [20:12] | Okay, how about you? | 好吧 你呢 |
| [20:14] | Okay, my last one was, uh, David Blaine. | 我上次说的是大卫·布莱恩 |
| [20:19] | David Blaine?! | 大卫·布莱恩 |
| [20:20] | That’s so gross, but I feel like | 恶心 但我觉得 |
| [20:22] | he cuts off his breathing so much | 他经常中断呼吸 |
| [20:24] | he’s gotta be uninhibited. | 他肯定很奔放 |
| [20:26] | He would let me do anything. | 会允许我做任何事 |
| [20:27] | Yeah, he would, like, pull out a tooth or something. | 他会拔牙之类的 |
| [20:29] | Anything you want to do to David Blaine he’ll let you do. | 你想对大卫·布莱恩做什么 他都会允许 |
| [20:31] | I’d, like, penetrate him. | 我想插他 |
| [20:33] | But my newest one is, um, the Six Flags guy. | 但我最新一个是那个六旗大冒险乐园男 |
| [20:39] | – He’s like– – Right off the bus? | -他 -刚下车那个吗 |
| [20:40] | Yeah, he’s like… | 嗯 他 |
| [20:42] | No way, he’s like… | 不 他这样 |
| [20:45] | Oh, my God, I can’t believe you can do that in heels. | 天 你竟然可以穿着高跟做这个 |
| [20:48] | But, like, a lot faster. | 他比我快多了 |
| [20:50] | He does that with his arms. | 他用手臂做 |
| [20:53] | He’s, like, so rubbery. | 他很有弹性 |
| [20:56] | Hold up, though, dude. | 等等 |
| [20:57] | We’ve got to go back to O.J. | 我们得继续讲OJ |