| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [01:12] | Ma’am… Ma’am… Ma’am… | 小姐 小姐 小姐 |
| [01:15] | Ma’am! Ma’am! | 小姐 小姐 |
| [01:18] | You didn’t sign the back of the check. | 支票后面你没签字 |
| [01:21] | I’m sorry. Uh, you know, I wasn’t sure | 抱歉 我不确定 |
| [01:24] | if there was a special teller I should go to | 这么大面额的支票 |
| [01:25] | for checks that are this large? | 是不是得找特殊出纳员 |
| [01:27] | Ooh, 8K, unh! | 八千 |
| [01:30] | You know how she got it, dude? | 知道她怎么得到的吗 姐们 |
| [01:33] | This bitch right here drew this illustration, | 她画了这幅插画 |
| [01:37] | and a sexy-ass new dating web site bought it for $8,000! | 一个性感的新交友网站以八千的价格将其买下 |
| [01:43] | “An alert from your bank”? | “你银行的警告” |
| [01:45] | What? No. | 什么 不 |
| [01:49] | This illustration. | 这幅插画 |
| [01:51] | Hey, came from her heart. | 出自她的内心 |
| [01:52] | Great– so do you want this in cash? | 真好 你是想提现吗 |
| [01:55] | No, I want it in my savings account. | 不 我想存进我的账户 |
| [01:57] | For somebody who works at the bank, | 对于一个在银行工作的人 |
| [01:58] | * I thought you’d be more responsible with money * | *我以为你对钱会更负责* |
| [02:01] | Ludacris. | 卢达克里斯[说唱歌手] |
| [02:02] | I also have some business with the bank. | 我也想办业务 |
| [02:05] | I’d like to cash these nickels, | 我想兑换这些5分镍币 |
| [02:08] | and I’ll have them in quarters, please. Thank you so much. | 要25美分面值的 非常感谢 |
| [02:22] | Abbi, you’re home. | 艾比 你回家了 |
| [02:24] | What’s going on? | 怎么回事 |
| [02:25] | Nothing, just, uh… | 没什么 |
| [02:27] | straightening up in the living room. | 在整理客厅 |
| [02:29] | You know, I was gonna fold this, heh. This is a mess. | 我正准备叠这个的 太乱了 |
| [02:34] | Body Butter! | 身体黄油 |
| [02:36] | Lap pillow! | 抱枕 |
| [02:39] | Julianna Margulies! | 朱丽安娜·玛格丽丝 |
| [02:42] | You were jerking off. | 你在打飞机 |
| [02:45] | In the communal space! | 在公共区域 |
| [02:47] | You don’t even live here! | 你都不住在这 |
| [02:48] | I wasn’t even touching my wiener yet. | 我还没摸我弟弟呢 |
| [02:51] | I was still just doing butt stuff. | 我在弄屁股 |
| [02:52] | – Ew! What? – Okay. | -什么 -好吧 |
| [02:54] | I was “Jerking off.” | 我刚是在打飞机 |
| [02:57] | And to Julianna Margulies. | 对着朱丽安娜·玛格丽丝 |
| [02:59] | Bevers, I swear to God that better be “E.R.” | 贝弗斯 你最好看的是《急诊室的故事》 |
| [03:02] | It’s… “Good Wife.” | 是《傲骨贤妻》 |
| [03:04] | You have a way of tainting everything I love. | 你有办法玷污我爱的一切 |
| [03:08] | – Taint? – Don’t. | -玷污 -闭嘴 |
| [03:10] | I’m done. I’m moving out. | 我受够了 我要搬走 |
| [03:13] | I am moving the fuck out! | 老娘要搬走 |
| [03:15] | You know why? ‘Cause I have money now. I got money now! | 知道为什么吗 因为我有钱了 我有钱了 |
| [03:18] | ‘Cause I’m a boss. ‘Cause I’m a badass boss! | 因为我是老板 老娘是老板 |
| [03:23] | Yeah, see how it goes. You see how it goes! | 走着瞧 走着瞧 |
| [03:29] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [03:36] | “Operator.” | 接线员 |
| [03:38] | I heard “Oppertimer.” | 我听的是 奥博计时器 |
| [03:39] | – Op-er-a-tor. – Oppenheimer. | -接 线 员 -奥博计时器 |
| [03:42] | Thank you so much for coming with me. | 谢谢你陪我来 |
| [03:43] | I can’t live in this apartment for another second. | 我在这公寓一秒都住不下去了 |
| [03:46] | – Human being! – Huge feelings. | -人类 -强烈感受 |
| [03:50] | What’s happening here? | 什么情况 |
| [03:51] | I cancelled my cable nine months ago. | 我九个月前就取消了我的有线电视服务 |
| [03:53] | They are still charging me, | 他们还在收我钱 |
| [03:54] | and I’m getting an overdraft fee every day. | 我每天都有透支费 |
| [03:57] | Did you return your cable box? | 机顶盒你还回去了吗 |
| [03:58] | Yeah, you came with me, remember? | 嗯 你跟我一起去的 记得吗 |
| [03:59] | That old lady spit on you in line. | 那个排队的老太婆吐了你口水 |
| [04:01] | Oh, right. That was… | 对 那是 |
| [04:03] | Human being! | 人类 |
| [04:05] | Human being. | 人类 |
| [04:06] | – Cumin braiding. – Where is this broker? | -莳萝编织 -中间人在哪 |
| [04:08] | Just, I wanna move out immediately. | 我只想立刻搬出去 |
| [04:11] | Hi, girls. It’s me, Pam. | 你们好 是我 帕姆 |
| [04:21] | Hi. | 嗨 |
| [04:26] | – Hi. – Hi. | -嗨 -嗨 |
| [04:28] | I’m Abbi. We spoke on the phone. | 我是艾比 我们在电话里聊过 |
| [04:29] | Don’t shake my hand, it was just down my pants. | 别跟我握手 刚摸过我下面 |
| [04:31] | Let’s find you your dream apartment, shall we? | 我们去给你找你的梦想公寓吧 |
| [04:34] | – Yeah. – Let’s go here. | -好 -这边 |
| [04:37] | Beautiful day. | 天气真好 |
| [04:41] | Well, what do you think? | 你觉得怎么样 |
| [04:44] | It’s a hallway. | 这是条走廊 |
| [04:46] | It is a beautiful railroad-style apartment in your budget. | 这是一间你预算能租到的漂亮铁路风公寓 |
| [04:51] | Where’s the bathroom? | 厕所在哪 |
| [04:52] | Where isn’t the bathroom? | 哪里不是厕所 |
| [04:54] | Jeez, wear a catheter, go in the corner. | 天 戴导尿管 到角落里撒都行 |
| [04:56] | You can fit a king size bed in here. | 这里能放下特大号床 |
| [04:59] | Yeah, if you fold it up like a taco. | 嗯 前提是你把它像墨西哥卷饼一样叠起来 |
| [05:01] | God, why am I so turned on right now? | 天 怎么我现在这么欲火中烧 |
| [05:03] | Ew, Pam, this place is horrible. Let’s just move on. | 帕姆 这地方太烂了 我们去别地看吧 |
| [05:07] | Look, don’t bully me, all right– I can’t take it! | 别欺凌我 好吗 我受不了 |
| [05:10] | I was cyberbullied within an inch of my life last night. | 我昨晚在网上被欺凌 差点死掉 |
| [05:15] | I make dolls out of human hair. | 我用人的头发做洋娃娃 |
| [05:17] | Who’s thirsty? | 谁渴了 |
| [05:20] | God, I hope there’s not another speed bump. | 天 希望不要再有减速带了 |
| [05:21] | I’ve got 18 stitches down there in my Susie. | 我的小妹妹缝了18针 |
| [05:24] | You know, the doctor said they’d disintegrate, but they haven’t. | 医生说它们会化掉 但是并没有 |
| [05:27] | Maybe I should get ’em yanked out. Maybe I can yank ’em out. | 或许我该直接拔了 或许我可以直接拔掉 |
| [05:29] | You got any tweezers on ya? | 你有带镊子吗 |
| [05:30] | You know, I don’t. I’m sorry. | 没有 抱歉 |
| [05:32] | They’re killing me. Oh well can’t let it get me down. | 难受死了 但我不能被它们击垮 |
| [05:36] | God, I love this car. | 我爱死这辆车了 |
| [05:37] | It’s so little, you know, you can basically park it anywhere. | 很小 基本上可以停在任何地方 |
| [05:40] | Thank you for holding. | 谢谢等待 |
| [05:42] | You are no longer on pre-hold. You are on actual hold. | 你不再是预排队 是真的开始排队了 |
| [05:46] | “Pre-hold”? Pre-hold– really? | 预排队 预排队 真的吗 |
| [05:49] | I heard “Pre-hold.” | 我听到了 预排队 |
| [05:51] | You are now being placed back on pre-hold. | 你现在重回预排队 |
| [05:53] | No, no, no, no, no, no, no– hello? | 不不不 喂 |
| [05:55] | And we are here! | 到了 |
| [05:58] | This place is terrific! | 这地方太赞了 |
| [06:00] | It’s a prewar building built right after the Iraq war. | 伊拉克战争后修建的战前建筑 |
| [06:04] | How’s that mattress treatin’ ya? | 床垫怎么样 |
| [06:06] | I can’t sleep like this. I feel like I’m in a coffin. | 我不能这么睡 感觉像在棺材里 |
| [06:08] | I slept in a coffin once. | 我在棺材里睡过一次 |
| [06:10] | It wasn’t that bad, except for the body. | 还行 除了尸体之外 |
| [06:14] | Let’s go! | 快下来 |
| [06:15] | Ilana, I’m gonna get out first. | 阿拉娜 我先出去 |
| [06:18] | And then you come, okay? | 你跟着 好吗 |
| [06:20] | Oh! Damn! Dude! | 我靠 姐们 |
| [06:25] | Let’s hustle! | 快点 |
| [06:27] | Your hand’s on my ass. I’m like– | 你手在我屁股上 我 |
| [06:28] | I’m like– I’m on the ladder. | 我就在梯子上 |
| [06:29] | – I got– – I got this. I’m cool. | -我 -我没问题 |
| [06:31] | Thank you for holding. | 谢谢等待 |
| [06:33] | Fuck you, robot! | 去你的 机器人 |
| [06:36] | Come on, let’s hurry up. | 快点 |
| [06:38] | I gotta get home and feed my Oscar fish. | 我得赶回家 喂我的奥斯卡鱼 |
| [06:40] | Are we just leaving it? | 我们就把车停在这吗 |
| [06:42] | Let’s see… oh. | 我看看 |
| [06:44] | Hey, you guys know that television show “Friends”? | 你们知道那个电视剧《老友记》吗 |
| [06:47] | – Yes. – Oh, my God. | -知道 -我的天 |
| [06:50] | It’s a great show, right? | 特好看 对吗 |
| [06:52] | Here’s this place. | 就是这里 |
| [07:00] | Welcome to Ideal Media. You are next in line. | 欢迎致电理想传媒 你是下一位 |
| [07:02] | Hello? Hello? | 喂 喂 |
| [07:04] | But it is no guarantee. | 但不能保证 |
| [07:06] | Hel– I’ll be right in. | 喂 我马上就进去 |
| [07:08] | Hello, how can I help you? | 你好 有什么需要帮助的 |
| [07:10] | Oh– oh my goodness. | 终于 |
| [07:11] | Are you a human being? Hello? | 你是人类吗 喂 |
| [07:13] | Yes, I am. How can I help you? | 我是 有什么需要帮助的 |
| [07:16] | The good news is, | 好消息是 |
| [07:17] | the landlords are gonna repaint, | 房东将重新粉刷 |
| [07:19] | and you get to pick the color. | 你可以选择颜色 |
| [07:20] | I would suggest red. | 我建议红色 |
| [07:22] | More good news. The walls are super thick. Listen. | 更多的好消息 墙壁很厚 听 |
| [07:28] | Help! Please call the police! | 救命 请报警 |
| [07:31] | They tied me up! | 他们绑住了我 |
| [07:32] | I think they’re Filipino! | 应该是菲律宾人 |
| [07:35] | They took my baby! | 他们抢走了我的宝宝 |
| [07:41] | You’re still being charged | 你仍然被扣费 |
| [07:42] | because you returned the cable box, but not the remote. | 是因为你退还了机顶盒 但没有退遥控器 |
| [07:44] | So I’m being charged $100 a month for a remote control? | 所以我每个月扣100就因为一个遥控器 |
| [07:48] | I have no idea where that is. | 我不知道它在哪 |
| [07:50] | Well, you’re gonna have to track it down | 那你就得去找了 |
| [07:51] | or you’ll keep being charged… forever. | 不然你就会一直被扣费 直到永远 |
| [07:57] | See? | 看到没 |
| [07:58] | You could scream all night long, | 你叫一整晚 |
| [07:59] | neighbor won’t even hear a thing. | 邻居也什么都听不到 |
| [08:01] | This isn’t working for me. | 我觉得不行 |
| [08:03] | I’m gonna go on Craigslist. | 我还是去Craiglist上找好了 |
| [08:04] | No, please, I really need the money. They’re gonna break my legs! | 不 拜托 我真的很需要钱 他们要打断我的腿 |
| [08:07] | I’m sorry, I just gotta do this on my own. | 不好意思 我必须自己去找 |
| [08:08] | Wait… no! Nooooo… | 等等 不 不要 |
| [08:16] | The walls are really thick. | 墙真的很厚 |
| [08:20] | You can’t find this remote. | 你找不到遥控器 |
| [08:22] | I don’t understand this, Ilana. | 我不明白 阿拉娜 |
| [08:24] | It’s like you have a thousand socks, | 你有上千双袜子 |
| [08:26] | but no underwear in the underwears drawer. | 但是内衣抽屉里却没有内衣 |
| [08:27] | You don’t have to tell me. | 可不是 |
| [08:28] | I don’t know where my underwear goes. | 我也不知道我的内衣都在哪 |
| [08:31] | That’s why I’m always going commando. | 所以我总是挂空挡 |
| [08:32] | – Oh, is this it? – No. | -这个是吗 -不是 |
| [08:34] | That’s my old dictaphone from high school. | 那是我高中时的录音机 |
| [08:36] | – Is a dick phone? – Dic-ta-phone. | -丁丁电话 -录音机 |
| [08:38] | Oh, I was… “Hello? Hello, Dick.” | 我以为是这样 喂 喂 丁丁 |
| [08:41] | Great idea number nine. | 9号妙点子 |
| [08:43] | It’s like Facebook, but just for photos. | 类似Facebook 但只限图片 |
| [08:47] | I guess it could be videos, too, but mostly photos. | 也可以加上视频 但照片为主 |
| [08:52] | Ilana, you invented the Instagram. | 阿拉娜 你发明了Instagram |
| [08:54] | That’s insane. | 太不可思议了 |
| [08:56] | I bet I was high the last time I had my remote. | 我最后见到遥控器的时候肯定磕了药 |
| [08:59] | Like, for sure! | 绝对的 |
| [09:01] | – Like, certainly. – Certainly, yes. | -肯定是 -肯定 |
| [09:04] | Maybe if I get high again I’ll remember where I put it. | 或许如果我再磕药 我就能记住我把它放哪了 |
| [09:06] | Aren’t you already high? | 你不是已经嗨了吗 |
| [09:08] | I– I mean, like, more high. | 我是说嗨更 |
| [09:09] | – Is “higher.” – “Highest.” | -不该是 更嗨吗 -最嗨 |
| [09:21] | Last year, Brooklyn. | 去年 布鲁克林 |
| [09:24] | My old apartment on Flatbush. | 我在弗拉特布什大道上的前公寓 |
| [09:29] | Living room… couch. | 客厅 沙发 |
| [09:32] | Sex on the couch. | 在沙发上做爱 |
| [09:39] | Bad sex. Really bad sex. | 过程糟糕 真的很糟糕 |
| [09:42] | The worst sex. Dale! | 最烂的性爱经历 戴尔 |
| [09:49] | Dale. | 戴尔 |
| [09:53] | Thank you so much for coming with me again. | 再次谢谢你来陪我 |
| [09:55] | Ilana can’t find her remote, so– | 阿拉娜找不到她的遥控器 |
| [09:57] | Also, I’m terrified of Craigslist. | 还有 我很怕Craiglist |
| [09:59] | If it ever gets weird, I’ll get you out of there. | 如果情况不对 我就带你走 |
| [10:01] | I don’t want you moving in with a Craigslist killer. | 我不想你和Craiglist杀手住一起 |
| [10:04] | So scary. | 太可怕了 |
| [10:05] | That dude just posted for women, and then just kills them. | 他发帖只招租女性 然后杀了她们 |
| [10:08] | Or do you think he has sex with them and then kills them? | 或者你觉得他是先和她们做爱然后再杀了她们吗 |
| [10:11] | Or did he kill them, then have sex with them? | 还是他杀了她们后再和她们做爱 |
| [10:14] | You’re both right. | 你们都是对的 |
| [10:16] | Oh, sorry, this is Mark. Please, enter me. | 不好意思 我是马克 请进入我 |
| [10:18] | I mean, please, enter me. Please enter and come on up. | 我是说 请进入我 请上楼来 |
| [10:22] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [10:34] | – Ilana? – Hey, Dale. | -阿拉娜 -戴尔 |
| [10:37] | How are you? | 你好吗 |
| [10:38] | I’m good, I’m good. | 我很好 我很好 |
| [10:41] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [10:44] | Uh, okay, so listen. | 听着 |
| [10:46] | Um, this is kind of an awkward conversation to have, | 内容可能有点尴尬 |
| [10:48] | But do you have… | 但你有 |
| [10:50] | Herpes? Yeah, all over. | 疱疹吗 有 全身都是 |
| [10:53] | What? I have herpes? That’s not what I was calling about. | 什么 我有疱疹 我不是为这个打来的 |
| [10:57] | Yeah, me neither. | 我也不是 |
| [10:59] | I thought you were someone else. | 我以为你是别人 |
| [11:00] | Okay… | 好吧 |
| [11:03] | Look, I was calling to ask if you have my cable remote. | 我打来是想问我的机顶盒遥控器在你那吗 |
| [11:07] | Uh, yeah, I– | 嗯 我 |
| [11:09] | I guess it might be around here somewhere. | 可能在这里 |
| [11:11] | Okay, well, I need it. | 我需要它 |
| [11:12] | Why don’t you come over? | 那你过来吧 |
| [11:14] | I’ll make my encrusted salmon. | 我会做我的三文鱼 |
| [11:15] | Ew, no, just meet me in a public place. | 不要 到公共场所来见我 |
| [11:18] | What about that Italian restaurant where our souls merged? | 我们灵魂融合的那家意大利餐厅怎么样 |
| [11:20] | Our souls never merged dude. | 我们的灵魂从没融合过 |
| [11:23] | Yeah, I know. | 我知道 |
| [11:25] | Jesus. | 汗 |
| [11:27] | Let’s uh– Let’s meet at Washington Square Park. | 我们在华盛顿广场公园见吧 |
| [11:30] | – 5:00? – I’ll be there. | -5点 -好的 |
| [11:32] | Yikes. | 晕 |
| [11:40] | The room is available now. | 房间现在空出来了 |
| [11:43] | So this is the living room. | 这是客厅 |
| [11:45] | Oh, man! Look how high these ceilings are. | 天 看这天花板有多高 |
| [11:50] | Check out this crown molding right there. That’s priceless. Whoa. | 看那个冠顶饰 无价 |
| [11:55] | Oh, there’s a massage table. | 这有个按摩台 |
| [11:57] | Yeah, I’m taking classes at the Swedish Institute. | 我在瑞典研究所上课 |
| [12:00] | Cool. | 酷 |
| [12:01] | Yeah. If you let me practice on you, | 如果你让我在你身上练习 |
| [12:02] | I could knock a few dollars off the rent. | 房租可以便宜点 |
| [12:05] | Abbi, you gotta check out the sink. | 艾比 快来看水槽 |
| [12:07] | It’s so deep, you could wash a baby in there. | 好深 可以在里面给婴儿洗澡 |
| [12:11] | I have. | 我有洗过 |
| [12:12] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [12:14] | So what’s your shoe size? | 你鞋码多少 |
| [12:17] | 9 Nine. | |
| [12:20] | Men’s or women’s? | 男的还是女的 |
| [12:23] | Hey, Lincoln, did you hear that cool question? | 林肯 你听到那个酷酷的问题了吗 |
| [12:26] | – Lincoln? – Abbi, check it out. There’s another room in here! | -林肯 -艾比 快来看 这里面还有个房间 |
| [12:30] | This place is crazy! | 这地方太不可思议了 |
| [12:31] | – Okay, we gotta get out of here. – Why? | -我们得离开这 -为什么 |
| [12:33] | – We’re leaving. – Why? | -我们得走了 -为什么 |
| [12:34] | We have to– | 我们得 |
| [12:35] | I see you found my breakfast nook. | 你发现了我的早餐角落了 |
| [12:37] | Yeah, man. It’s a cool-ass, big-ass nook. | 嗯 又酷又大 |
| [12:39] | The one bathroom is in there. | 唯一的卫生间在那里面 |
| [12:41] | But it’s pretty much your private bathroom. | 不过基本上是你的私人卫生间 |
| [12:43] | I almost never go. | 我几乎从不用 |
| [12:45] | Except when I do go, I really go. | 但我用的时候 就止不住 |
| [12:47] | It’s a major problem. | 这是个大问题 |
| [12:48] | You’ll have to stay in a hotel for a couple days. | 你必须在酒店住几天 |
| [12:50] | I’ll pay for it, of course. | 当然我会付钱 |
| [12:52] | Lincoln, you wanna… help me? | 林肯 你要帮帮我吗 |
| [12:54] | Oh, yeah. Sorry, Abbi, sorry. | 嗯 抱歉 艾比 抱歉 |
| [12:56] | It’s okay. | 没事 |
| [12:59] | What hotel? | 什么酒店 |
| [13:00] | Holiday Inn Express? | 智选假日酒店 |
| [13:01] | – She’ll take it. – No. | -她要了 -不 |
| [13:02] | Thank you so much. Lovely place. Come on, we’re leaving. | 非常感谢 很棒的地方 我们走 |
| [13:17] | Ilana! | 阿拉娜 |
| [13:18] | Oh… God… | 天 |
| [13:22] | – Here. – Dale– | -给 -戴尔 |
| [13:23] | – These are for you. – “It’s a boy”? | -这是给你的 -是男生 |
| [13:25] | It’s all they had left at Key Foods. | Key Foods只剩这个了 |
| [13:27] | Okay… Okay… | 好了 好了 |
| [13:29] | Okay, please… All right. | 够了 拜托 好了 |
| [13:31] | Ilana, listen. | 阿拉娜 听着 |
| [13:33] | You don’t have to pretend anymore. | 你不用再假装 |
| [13:34] | I know why you left that remote. | 我知道你为什么把遥控器留下 |
| [13:36] | You want to get back together. | 你想和我复合 |
| [13:39] | And I’m in. | 我接受 |
| [13:40] | Dale, we were never together! | 戴尔 我们从来没在一起过 |
| [13:45] | We were roommates who had sex | 我们只是 |
| [13:47] | a small handful of times | 做过几次爱的室友而已 |
| [13:49] | because the train wasn’t running to Manhattan on the weekends. | 还是因为周末地铁不去曼哈顿 |
| [13:52] | Say the word, and I’ll leave my fiancèe. | 你只要开口 我就离开我未婚妻 |
| [13:54] | You’re engaged? | 你订婚了 |
| [13:58] | And you brought her? What is wrong with you? | 还把她带来了 你有病吗 |
| [14:01] | Just say you’ll give us a shot, and I’ll give the driver a signal, | 你只要说你要给我们一次机会 我就给司机信号 |
| [14:04] | and he will take her straight to Newark airport. | 他就会带她去纽瓦克机场 |
| [14:08] | Give me the remote. | 给我遥控器 |
| [14:12] | Come on. | 拜托 |
| [14:14] | Thanks for the balloons. | 谢谢你的气球 |
| [14:17] | Please don’t tell Amanda I told you I’d leave her. | 请别告诉阿曼达我跟你说我会离开她 |
| [14:19] | Please don’t tell her | 请别告诉她 |
| [14:20] | I bought her a one-way ticket to Santa Fe. | 我给她买了去圣塔菲的单程机票 |
| [14:22] | – What? – Please don’t tell her I have herpes! | -什么 -请别告诉她我有疱疹 |
| [14:26] | Do I or do I not have herpes? | 我到底有没有疱疹 |
| [14:28] | I do, you don’t. | 我有 你没有 |
| [14:30] | Oh, God! | 天 |
| [14:33] | I wanna read so many of these books. | 这里面好多书我都想看 |
| [14:37] | This is unreal. | 这太不真实了 |
| [14:38] | I can’t believe I can get a room in Manhattan | 不敢相信我能用900美元 |
| [14:40] | for 900 bucks a month. | 在曼哈顿租到房间 |
| [14:41] | See, I told you you’d find something. This place is perfect. | 跟你说了吧 你会找到的 这地方简直完美 |
| [14:44] | Hey, if she doesn’t get the room, I might. | 如果她不要 我也许会要 |
| [14:47] | No, I’m taking it. Stop. | 不 我要的 打住 |
| [14:49] | Well, we go to Priya’s mom’s beach house most weekends, | 大多数周末我们都会去普瑞雅妈妈的海滩房 |
| [14:51] | so you’ll have the place to yourself a lot. | 所以很多时候家里只有你自己 |
| [14:53] | We make dinner every night, | 我们每晚都做晚餐 |
| [14:55] | and our sex is on the quiet side. | 我们做爱很安静 |
| [14:57] | Yeah, so is mine, with myself, right? | 我自慰的时候也很安静 |
| [15:02] | I think I speak for Priya when I say | 我想我可以代表普瑞雅说 |
| [15:05] | we would love to have you as a roommate. | 我们愿意你做我们的室友 |
| [15:07] | Yes, that would be awesome. | 那就太好了 |
| [15:09] | Do I dare say we toast? | 敢不敢干杯 |
| [15:11] | I double dare ya! | 我敢你敢吗 |
| [15:12] | – Let’s do it. – Thank you. | -来吧 -谢谢你 |
| [15:16] | To built-ins, countertops you can chop right on, | 敬内嵌式家具 可以做菜板的厨台 |
| [15:19] | and toilets with two flush buttons– cheers. | 有两个冲水按钮的马桶 干杯 |
| [15:27] | Oh, wait, this is the commercial. | 等下 这就是那个广告 |
| [15:28] | This is the illustration I was telling you guys about. | 这就是我给你们说的那个插画 |
| [15:30] | Man, this is so cool. | 这太酷了 |
| [15:32] | I did this. | 这是我画的 |
| [15:37] | Jack? | 杰克 |
| [15:42] | On a date with someone who isn’t your type? | 约会对象不是你的菜 |
| [15:44] | They’re just not like you. | 他们只是跟你不一样 |
| [15:47] | What does he mean, “Not like you”? | “跟你不一样”什么意思 |
| [15:49] | But with SelectDate, you get to choose from the cream of the crop. | 但是在精选约会上 你可以选择最好的 |
| [15:52] | Because we only deal with the cream. | 因为我们只有最好 |
| [15:57] | For whites who are single and ready to mingle. | 面向单身想脱单的白人 |
| [16:01] | SelectDate, | 精选约会 |
| [16:02] | the final solution to your dating problems. | 解决你约会难题的终极方案 |
| [16:10] | What the fuck, Abbi? | 什么鬼 艾比 |
| [16:12] | No, no, that is not– | 不不 这不是 |
| [16:14] | I wouldn’t ever do something like that. | 我绝不会做这样的事 |
| [16:17] | ‘Cause I– | 因为我 |
| [16:19] | I just drew happy couples. | 我只画了幸福情侣 |
| [16:20] | Like, ’cause I love couples. I love people. | 因为我喜欢情侣 我喜欢人 |
| [16:23] | I just love people. Like, I love, like– I love all races. | 我喜欢人 我喜欢 我喜欢所有种族 |
| [16:26] | “Races,” not “Racists.” | 种族 不是种族歧视者 |
| [16:29] | You guys are– I wouldn’t– | 你们 我不会 |
| [16:30] | And it’s a– | 这 |
| [16:32] | It’s probably not national. | 可能并不会在全国播出 |
| [16:33] | It’s just like, um– Probably it’s just– | 就是 可能就是 |
| [16:37] | I’m so sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [16:40] | I don’t know her that well. | 我跟她不熟 |
| [16:41] | I’m just– I’m bonin’ her friend, | 我只是在上她朋友 |
| [16:43] | and so I just hang out with her. | 所以我陪她玩 |
| [16:45] | You know how you gotta hang out with your girl’s friends? | 你懂的 你得陪你炮友的朋友玩 |
| [16:56] | No, this is the wrong remote. | 不 这个遥控不对 |
| [16:59] | What must I do? | 我需要做什么 |
| [17:01] | What do you want from me? | 你想要我做什么 |
| [17:03] | Look, lady, this is the wrong remote, | 听着 这个遥控不对 |
| [17:05] | and this is the right remote. | 这才是对的 |
| [17:06] | Okay, you gotta get the right remote. | 你得拿到对的遥控 |
| [17:09] | I had to find out I may or may not have herpes to get this remote! | 为了拿到这个遥控 我不得不弄清我有没有疱疹 |
| [17:13] | Can I speak to your manager, please? | 我能和你们经理谈谈吗 |
| [17:14] | Oh, I am the manager. | 我就是经理 |
| [17:15] | I also do billing, installation programming, | 我还负责记账 安装程序 |
| [17:17] | and I compose the “On hold” music. | 等待曲子也是我写的 |
| [17:19] | You composed this music? | 这音乐是你写的 |
| [17:21] | Oh, no, no, this is the “Waiting room” music. | 不不 这是休息室音乐 |
| [17:23] | I compose that too. | 那个也是我写的 |
| [17:26] | I’m actually the only person who works here. | 我是这里的唯一工作人员 |
| [17:29] | Yikes. | 囧 |
| [17:32] | Okay, what are my options? | 好吧 我有什么选择 |
| [17:33] | You can either mail in a check for $1,000, | 你可以邮寄一张1000元的支票 |
| [17:35] | or come in person and pay $5. | 或者本人过来交5块钱 |
| [17:37] | You’re only the fifth person ever to come in. | 你是史上第五个来这的人 |
| [17:40] | Here. | 给 |
| [17:42] | I can pay in quarters, right? | 我可以用25分付吧 |
| [17:43] | Oh, actually, no. Our system’s down and we only take nickels. | 不行 我们的系统坏了 只接受5分 |
| [17:46] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [17:49] | Oh, and you know what? I hate your music. | 还有 我讨厌你的音乐 |
| [17:52] | So do I. | 我也是 |
| [18:01] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [18:13] | Hey, Abidab, | 艾比大大 |
| [18:15] | I really wanted to apologize for last night. | 我真的想为昨晚的事道歉 |
| [18:18] | We don’t need to get into it. | 不必提起 |
| [18:20] | Well, I did make you these bagel bites. | 我给你做了迷你百吉饼 |
| [18:23] | I put ’em in the shape of an “A” because | 我摆成了A字形 因为 |
| [18:25] | I know how you like to label your food. | 我知道你喜欢给你的食物做标记 |
| [18:28] | Listen, when you came in last night, | 你昨晚进来的时候 |
| [18:30] | and– and I was touching myself… | 我确实在自摸 |
| [18:32] | Can we please not? | 能别说了吗 |
| [18:33] | So… Well, let me just– I really want to explain. | 让我 我真的想解释 |
| [18:37] | See, I was pleasuring myself. | 我是在自慰 |
| [18:38] | I don’t need to– | 我不需要 |
| [18:39] | I like to start off slow, okay. | 刚开始时 我喜欢慢慢地 |
| [18:41] | And then I like to work the tempo up and up and up. | 然后我喜欢加快节奏 |
| [18:44] | – And I’ll– I’ll lick a thumb… – Seriously, I– This is– | -我会舔大拇指 -真的 这 |
| [18:46] | … and then sort of brush it lightly against the nipples. | 然后轻轻地在乳头上擦拭 |
| [18:48] | Why are we going over this? | 为什么要说这个 |
| [18:50] | And then, there’s a– There’s a– | 然后 然后 |
| [18:51] | You know, in the , or whatever you call it, | 你知道 在那个里面 或者随你怎么叫 |
| [18:54] | there’s a sort of a there. | 那里有那个 |
| [18:55] | I like to apply pressure to that slowly. | 我喜欢慢慢给它施压 |
| [18:58] | And then right when I’m , I , | 就在我那个的时候 我 |
| [19:01] | then I into the , hard, hard, hard. | 然后我用力插进那个 |
| [19:04] | And then I , and it just– | 然后我那个 就那个了 |
| [19:06] | You know, it– it– it– | 你知道 那 那 那 |
| [19:08] | It’s a very powerful feeling. | 那是种很强大的感觉 |
| [19:11] | Whoa, cool shirt. | 衣服不错 |
| [19:20] | You don’t have to tell me that Sour Patch Kids are good. | 不用你跟我说Sour Patch Kids糖很好吃 |
| [19:23] | I know Sour Patch Kids are good. | 我知道Sour Patch Kids糖好吃 |
| [19:25] | Oh, Lincoln, I don’t have herpes, and neither do you– that’s all. | 林肯 我没有疱疹 你也没有 就这样 |
| [19:29] | Ilana, there is a child right here. | 阿拉娜 这有个小孩 |
| [19:31] | Please. We’re in New York. | 拜托 我们是在纽约 |
| [19:33] | And you’re, like, 12, right? | 你12了吧 |
| [19:34] | I’m seven, and you’re being inappropriate. | 我7岁 你举止很不得体 |
| [19:36] | Bitch, you’re 22. | 贱人 你22了 |
| [19:38] | Okay, listen, your dentist and I, um, | 听着 你的牙医和我 |
| [19:41] | have been having… sexual intercourse | 定期交欢 |
| [19:44] | on the regular for about five months– | 已经五个月了 |
| [19:46] | Ilana, it’s been a year and a half! | 阿拉娜 是一年半 |
| [19:49] | – For real? – 18 months. | -真的吗 -18个月 |
| [19:51] | God. | 天 |
| [19:54] | Don’t do drugs. | 千万别吸毒 |
| [19:55] | That’s– That’s the takeaway. | 这是忠告 |
| [19:57] | Don’t do drugs. | 别吸毒 |
| [19:59] | It’s like I have no memories, man. | 我就像没有记忆一样 |
| [20:01] | I can’t remember a thing! | 什么都不记得 |
| [20:03] | I wake up, I’m like aah! It’s scary. | 我醒来就这样 很可怕 |
| [20:05] | I just, like, don’t know where I am a lot of the time. | 很多时候我都不知道我在哪 |
| [20:08] | I can’t find that remote. I– I– | 我找不到那个遥控 我 我 |
| [20:10] | I’m missing hundreds of pairs of underwear. Literally hundreds. | 我丢了上百条内裤 真的上百条 |
| [20:12] | You never found the right remote? | 你没找到对的遥控 |
| [20:15] | No. | 是的 |
| [20:16] | But wherever it is, I hope it’s happy. | 但不管它身在何处 我希望它幸福 |
| [21:20] | I understand. | 我明白 |