| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Woody, I have the results of your colonoscopy. | Woody 你的结肠镜检查结果出来了 |
| [00:03] | Be honest, doc. Do I have the ass cancer? | 说实话 大夫 我得了屁癌了吗? |
| [00:06] | I’m not going to sugarcoat it, Woody. | 我就直说了吧 Woody |
| [00:08] | I found something alarming in there. | 我发现了一些值得警醒的东西 |
| [00:10] | No! | 不 |
| [00:12] | Oh, yeah, I accidentally sat on that. | 这个啊 我不小心坐上面了 |
| [00:15] | Really? These too? | 是嘛? 这些也是吗? |
| [00:16] | Looks like somebody fell ass-first into a yard sale. | 好像有人在自己屁股里开甩卖会呢 |
| [00:19] | I just like to be organized. I call it bung-shui. | 我是有条理的人嘛 这叫”后庭风水学” |
| [00:23] | Besides some mild tearing | 除了肠壁轻微撕裂 |
| [00:24] | and what I swear was an oompa loompa I was never quite able to get a hold of, | 还有一个我肯定是呜巴鲁巴小矮人的东西 没能成功抓出来 |
| [00:27] | you’re all clear. | 你没啥事了 |
| [00:28] | Great. | 真棒 |
| [00:29] | Now, if you’ll kindly Return those things to my ass, I’ll be on my way. | 现在 把这些东西塞回我屁股 我就走人啦 |
| [00:32] | Oh, Woody, you’re still under the influence of the anesthetic. | Woody 你麻醉劲儿还没过呢 |
| [00:35] | I can’t let you drive yourself home. | 我不能让你一个人开车回去 |
| [00:36] | I gave you a bunch of emergency contacts. | 我不是给了你好几个紧急联系人电话 |
| [00:38] | Didn’t you call ’em? | 没给他们打电话吗? |
| [00:39] | Yes. I got four wrong numbers, | 打了 有四个是空号 |
| [00:41] | Three hang-ups, and a “[bleep] my mother.” | 三个直接挂了 还有一个要”干我娘” |
| [00:43] | She’s been dead for three years, so that would be difficult | 她老人家都死三年了 这事估计很困难 |
| [00:45] | But not impossible. | 但也不是没可能 |
| [00:46] | Okay. So what does this mean? | 好吧 你看怎么办吧 |
| [00:48] | Medically speaking? Well, you have no friends. | 从医学角度来看? 你没朋友啊 |
| [00:50] | And since there’s no one here to pick you up, | 因为没人能来接你 |
| [00:52] | I’m going to have to put you down. | 我只能撂倒你了 |
| [00:54] | Wait, wait! Can’t I just call a cab? | 等下等下 我就不能叫辆出租车吗? |
| [00:55] | Hmm, I never thought of that. | 这我倒是没想到 |
| [00:57] | Guess I didn’t need to put all those people down after all. | 看来我过去撂倒那么多人是多此一举了 |
| [01:00] | Boy, is my face red. | 天 我都脸红了 |
| [01:01] | Kidding! I can’t feel emotion. | 开玩笑的 我没感情的 |
| [01:03] | Get me out of here! | 快放我出去 |
| [01:05] | Tommy! Shut up and play your trombone! | Tommy 闭嘴 老实吹你的长号 |
| [01:23] | Wow, your chest hair really does look like burnt taco meat. | 你这胸毛还真像烤焦的墨西哥卷肉馅呢 |
| [01:26] | I told you. | 我就说嘛 |
| [01:27] | My pubies looks like cheese curls. | 我下边的毛毛像奶酪丝呢 |
| [01:29] | Oh, wait, these are cheese curls! | 等下 这些就是奶酪丝 |
| [01:32] | Oh, wait. They’re not. | 等等 不是 |
| [01:34] | You guys are making me hungry. | 你们都把我说饿了 |
| [01:37] | Hi, I’m looking for the “hairy, horny, hung virgin.” | 嗨 我是来找”毛茸茸性饥渴处子”的 |
| [01:41] | Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy! | 太好了 太好了 太好了 太好了 |
| [01:43] | Shut up, Connie. She’s here for me. | 闭嘴 Connie 她是来找我的 |
| [01:44] | You’re a bear? | 你是头熊? |
| [01:45] | You never mentioned that you were a bear. | 你之前从没说过你是熊啊 |
| [01:47] | – You lied to me. – Lied? | – 你欺骗我 – 欺骗? |
| [01:49] | You answered an ad on Craigslist. You’re lucky I’m not murdering you. | 你可是看了Craigslist上的广告找上门的 我没杀你算不错了 |
| [01:52] | Well, we’re not having sex. | 好吧 我还是不约了 |
| [01:54] | Murder it is. | 那就谋杀 |
| [01:57] | ♪ Malloy can’t get laid! ♪ | ♪ Malloy没有妹子约 ♪ |
| [02:00] | ♪ Steve has rabies! ♪ | ♪ Steve得了狂犬病 ♪ |
| [02:02] | No, I– | 我没… |
| [02:04] | Wait a second, that’s weird. | 等一下 真奇怪 |
| [02:06] | Malloy, bite him again. But harder this time. | Malloy 再咬一口 这次使点劲 |
| [02:09] | What? | 啥? |
| [02:10] | Yay! Let’s eat each other! | 好棒 咱们互相开吃吧 |
| [02:12] | Dibs on Ethel. | 我要吃Ethel |
| [02:15] | Fascinating. | 有意思 |
| [02:18] | Malloy, you have four incisors. | Malloy 你嘴里有四颗门牙 |
| [02:21] | And you have dick on your breath. | 你嘴里还有J8味呢 |
| [02:23] | Do you know what that means? | 知道这意味着什么吗? |
| [02:24] | Your dad’s in town? | 你老爹来过了? |
| [02:26] | No, it means you’re a rare breed of bear. | 不是 这说明你是一种很稀有的熊 |
| [02:29] | You may even be the last one alive. | 可能是这个族群最后一只活体 |
| [02:31] | Ursus loquacious. | 多嘴熊 |
| [02:32] | Ursus Loquacious? He plays for the Falcons. | 多嘴熊? 他不是在猎鹰队效力呢么 |
| [02:35] | Why the hell did you all give me fake contact numbers? | 你们特么为啥都给我假电话号码? |
| [02:38] | Some friends you are. | 你们可真够朋友 |
| [02:40] | Friends? We don’t even like you. | 朋友? 我们都不怎么喜欢你 |
| [02:41] | Huh? Why? | 为毛啊? |
| [02:43] | Simple. You’re an asshole. | 很简单 你丫就一混球 |
| [02:44] | That’s not true, bitch. | 睁眼说瞎话 贱人 |
| [02:46] | Woody, can I get a new uniform? I outgrew another one. | Woody 能给我换套新制服吗? 我又穿崩了一件 |
| [02:51] | [bleep] you, lard ass. I’m not buying you another uniform! | 去你大爷的 肥逼 老子不会再掏钱给你买制服了 |
| [02:53] | Lose some weight, or better yet, blow your brains out, you fat tub of monkey shit! | 减减肥 或者最好在脑袋上开一枪 一坨死肥膘的泼猴翔 |
| [02:56] | Honestly now, you guys really think I’m an asshole? | 说真的 你们真觉得我是混球? |
| [03:01] | Oh, I can’t believe I don’t have any friends. | 真不敢相信我居然一个朋友都没有 |
| [03:03] | Nobody gets me. | 没人懂我 |
| [03:05] | One shot of goldschlager. | 再来一杯肉桂甜酒 |
| [03:07] | I thought I was the only one who enjoyed goldschlager. | 还以为地球上就我一人爱喝肉桂甜酒呢 |
| [03:10] | You kidding? | 开什么玩笑 |
| [03:11] | This’ the finest gold-flecked schnapps that money can buy for under $12 a bottle. | 这可是12刀以内能买到最好的带金箔的烈酒了 |
| [03:15] | One night, I drank so much of this stuff, | 有一回我喝了太多这玩意儿 |
| [03:18] | I panned my diarrhea, and I made $80. | 一下从稀屎里淘出了80刀的金子 |
| [03:23] | That might be the most awesome thing I’ve ever heard. | 这可能是我听过最牛X的事 |
| [03:26] | Mayor Todd Ford. | Todd Ford市长 |
| [03:28] | The crackhead mayor of Hazelhurst? | 褐丘镇的瘾君子市长? |
| [03:30] | Ah, don’t believe the media. | 别听媒体瞎逼逼 |
| [03:32] | They just gave me that nickname | 那都是他们给我编的外号 |
| [03:34] | Because I smoke crack all the time. | 因为我抽大麻停不下来 |
| [03:36] | Woody Johnson Woody Johnson. | |
| [03:38] | The whore-punching head ranger of Brickleberry? | 脆莓公园的抖S林警头头儿? |
| [03:40] | And they say you can’t give yourself a nickname. | 谁说不能给自己编外号了? |
| [03:45] | Barkeep, another round! | 酒保 再来一杯 |
| [03:48] | My friend said he wanted another drink! | 我兄弟说他要再来一杯 |
| [03:52] | Oh, shit, you better chill out before he calls the cops! | 我去 你冷静点 当心他报警 |
| [03:56] | I’m mayor. The cops work for me. | 我可是市长 警察都是给我打工的 |
| [04:00] | Drinks are on the house! | 今晚免单 |
| [04:02] | To the start of a beautiful friendship! | 敬我们开启了这段深厚友谊 |
| [04:23] | Help! Help! | 救火啊 救火 |
| [04:36] | Malloy, I have amazing news. | Malloy 有个天大好消息 |
| [04:38] | I did some research and found out– | 我做了一些调查 结果发现… |
| [04:40] | You’re not actually the last of your species. | 你并不是你们族群的最后一只 |
| [04:42] | Turns out there’s one more, and it’s a female! | 原来还有一只呢 而且是母的哦 |
| [04:44] | Way to step on my dick, Connie. | 话茬儿接得不错啊 Connie |
| [04:46] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [04:47] | I’m having the bear flown into the brickleberry wildlife sanctuary, | 我把那只熊引进到脆莓野生动物保护区了 |
| [04:50] | So you can continue the species. | 好方便你们俩延续物种 |
| [04:52] | Let me check to see if I give a shit. I don’t. | 我看自己愿不愿意鸟你哈 不愿意呢 |
| [04:54] | You know what this means? | 知道这意味着什么吗? |
| [04:55] | – It means– – You get to have sex with her! | – 这意味着… – 你能和她滚床单了 |
| [04:57] | And not just once, as much as you possibly can. | 而且不止一次哦 要滚到精尽熊亡呢 |
| [05:00] | – God damn it, Connie! – Sorry! | – 接你妹啊 Connie – 抱歉 |
| [05:03] | Interesting. | 有点意思 |
| [05:04] | Tell me more about this “having sex as much as I possibly can.” | 跟我好好说说这”滚到精尽熊亡”的好事儿呗 |
| [05:08] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [05:08] | Oh, but first, there’s a complex mating ritual that you’re gonna have to learn. | 不过首先 你要学一套复杂的交配仪式 |
| [05:13] | Okay, now, you circle around her seven times, | 这样 你要围在她身边绕七圈 |
| [05:15] | And her labia will become engorged. | 她的阴唇就会鼓胀起来 |
| [05:18] | Check. | 没错 |
| [05:18] | This is the worst furry party ever. | 没见过这么操蛋的动物假扮派对 |
| [05:20] | And then you begin to growl and cup the buttocks of the female… | 然后你开始低吼 再一把抓住母熊的屁股蛋 |
| [05:27] | I think I just lost my deposit on this bear suit. | 我可能要拉到熊服里了 |
| [05:32] | I don’t get it, Denzel. How do you stay so thin? | 我不明白 Denzel 为啥你一直这么苗条? |
| [05:35] | I burn a lot of calories having sex. | 我光做爱就消耗不少热量呢 |
| [05:37] | Does it work if it’s with yourself? | 自己打手枪能消耗热量吗? |
| [05:39] | No. | 不能 |
| [05:41] | I don’t have friends ’cause I’m an asshole, huh? | 像我这样的混球一定混到没朋友是吧? |
| [05:44] | See what you know, I made a friend who’s a bigger asshole than me! | 头发长见识短 老子交到一个比我混球一百倍的家伙做朋友 |
| [05:49] | Daniel Tosh? Daniel Tosh? | |
| [05:50] | Who? Never heard of him. | 谁? 他是哪根葱 |
| [05:51] | No, my B.F.F. Is the coolest guy on the planet: | 不 我的好基友是地球上最牛X的人物: |
| [05:54] | Mayor Todd Ford. | Todd Ford市长 |
| [05:55] | Really, Woody? He’s a corrupt drug addict. | 真的吗 Woody? 他又贪污又嗨毒 |
| [05:58] | He’s not a drug addict. | 人家才不嗨毒嘞 |
| [06:00] | I got the drugs! | 拿到嗨药咯 |
| [06:02] | Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! | 给我 给我 快给我 |
| [06:03] | We’ve gotta keep this meth off the street. | 千万不能让这些冰毒流到街头上去 |
| [06:12] | I’m all right. | 我没事 |
| [06:15] | He’s fine, I had to do this three times last night. | 他没事的 昨晚我都这样搞过三次了 |
| [06:21] | I feel awesome! | 感觉嗨翻天了 |
| [06:23] | Did I die again? | 我是不是又挂了? |
| [06:24] | “Did I die again?” I love this guy! | “我是不是又挂了?” 爱死这哥们了 |
| [06:27] | Makes me want to be mayor. | 搞得我都想当市长了 |
| [06:28] | So, what are we doing tonight? | 话说 今晚有何节目? |
| [06:29] | Ooh, yeah, me and some high-powered friends are playing poker, | 有的 我要和一些达官显贵的朋友们去打牌 |
| [06:33] | but it might be a little too high-stakes for you. | 不过这种赌局对你来说可能筹码太高 |
| [06:35] | You kidding? High-stakes is my middle name. | 开什么玩笑? “筹码高”可是我的中名 |
| [06:38] | All right, Woody, if you insist! | 好吧 Woody 既然你诚意满满 |
| [06:40] | ♪ We’re going to party tonight! ♪ | ♪ 今晚就让我们嗨翻天吧 ♪ |
| [06:48] | Now remember, the continuation of your entire species depends on this. | 记住 整个族群的延续就全靠你们俩了 |
| [06:52] | Here we go. Let the banging begin. | 开始吧 把爱猛烈地做起来吧 |
| [06:58] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [06:59] | Nope. No way. I am not [bleep] that. | 算了 省省吧 休想让我干这货 |
| [07:03] | You can’t leave. | 你不能走啊 |
| [07:04] | Your species depends on the two of you mating. | 你们族群就靠着你们俩交配来延续了 |
| [07:06] | Yeah, Malloy, she’s not that bad. | 是啊 Malloy 她也不赖的 |
| [07:08] | Oh, yeah, she looks like a movie star. | 是啊 她看起来像个影星呢 |
| [07:10] | Steve Buscemi’s eyes and the teeth of… | 弹珠眼有如史蒂夫·布西密 龅牙有如… |
| [07:13] | Steve Buscemi. | 还是史蒂夫·布西密 |
| [07:18] | God damn it! I fold. | 去你大爷的 弃牌 |
| [07:25] | fold含有”弃牌”和”分手后复合”双意 《衰姐们》女主多次与男友分手后复合 | |
| [07:25] | Since I binge-watched season one of Girls. | 我就再没见过这么多次贱逼复合了 |
| [07:29] | So, you’re a bit of a hunter, eh, Ford? | 你看起来是个猎人 对吧 Ford? |
| [07:31] | I do love big game hunting. | 我确实喜欢猎杀野兽 |
| [07:33] | It’s too bad there’s no good place to do it around here. | 只可惜这附近没有能让我游猎的地界儿 |
| [07:36] | Yeah, [bleep] Obama, Putting all the good animals in Africa. | 是啊 天杀的奥巴马 把珍奇异兽都弄到非洲去了 |
| [07:39] | Anyway, thanks for inviting me and letting me take all your money, fellas. | 不管怎么说 谢谢邀我来把你们的钱都赢个干净 朋友们 |
| [07:43] | And you, Bruce Jenner, | 还有你 布鲁斯·詹那 |
| [07:44] | You are either a very ugly man | 你要么是个盖世丑男 |
| [07:47] | – Or a very attractive woman. – Thank you. | – 要么就是个绝色美女 – 谢谢你 |
| [07:50] | Actually, Bruce lost a lot of poker games. | 布鲁斯是输牌太多 输成不男不女的 |
| [07:53] | The first bet was “wear this dress,” | 最开始他赌”输了就穿裙子” |
| [07:55] | and then it was “take these estrogen pills,” and so on and so on. | 后来赌”输了就吃雌激素药” 然后就一直这么输赌下去 |
| [07:59] | Would you care to make this hand a little more interesting, Woody? | 你乐意让这手牌来得更刺激些吗 Woody? |
| [08:05] | Yes! Yes! I mean…Eh, maybe. | 来啊 来啊 我是说… 来看看咯 |
| [08:08] | What do you have in mind? | 你想和我赌什么? |
| [08:10] | Well, I know your dream job is to be mayor. | 我知道你做梦都想当市长 |
| [08:12] | How about, if you win, you get to be mayor? | 不如这样 如果你赢了 你就当市长? |
| [08:15] | If I win, I get control of Brickleberry. | 如果我赢了 脆莓公园就是我的 |
| [08:20] | Oh, I don’t know. | 这样真的好吗? |
| [08:21] | What’s the matter, Woody? Got no balls? | 怎么了 Woody? 蛋都吓碎了嘛? |
| [08:24] | You want to borrow mine? | 想借我的蛋用不? |
| [08:25] | They’re in a dumpster in Glendale. | 在格兰岱尔市的垃圾车里呢 |
| [08:27] | So, Woody, are you going to take the bet, | 那么 Woody 你是选择拼一回呢 |
| [08:29] | Or are you not man enough to be my friend? | 还是不够胆做我的朋友呢? |
| [08:32] | All right, I’m in! Four aces. | 我出牌 四个老A齐上阵 |
| [08:35] | That’s an impressive hand, but does it beat my… | 手气不错嘛 但是你如何斗得过我的… |
| [08:38] | Straight flush? | 同花顺? |
| [08:40] | Oh, shit. | 见鬼 |
| [08:41] | I lost the park to a straight flush! | 居然因为同花顺把公园给输掉了 |
| [08:43] | Cry me a river. I lost my dick to a pair of queens. | 哥早悲伤逆流成河了 我老二都给一对基佬赢走了 |
| [08:47] | Hello! We have names, you know. | 喂 我们有名有姓的好吧 |
| [08:53] | One. | 一次 |
| [08:54] | Okay, I jumped the rope, I did half a sit-up. | 好了 我跳了绳 还做了半个仰卧起坐 |
| [08:58] | Why can’t I lose weight? | 为啥就没减下去呀? |
| [09:00] | All I’ve been eating are these rice cakes. | 这些时我吃的都只有这些年糕啊 |
| [09:02] | Those are rice krispie treats, dumbass. | 这些都是甜米饼 蠢货 |
| [09:04] | Morning, rangers! | 早上好 林警们 |
| [09:05] | So, I got a little overextended last night | 昨晚我一不小心玩大发了… |
| [09:07] | And, uh, lost the park to the mayor in a poker game. Moving on. | 在牌桌上把公园输给市长了 换个话题 |
| [09:11] | You what? | 你做了啥? |
| [09:12] | Don’t judge me. I had four aces. | 别怨我 我手头有四张老A |
| [09:14] | All of you would’ve done exactly the same thing, | 换成是你们都会这样做 |
| [09:16] | So this is as much your fault as it is mine. | 因此你们在这事上和我的责任相同 |
| [09:18] | See, Woody, this is why no one likes you. | 看吧 Woody 这就是为什么没人喜欢你 |
| [09:21] | You think that’s why no one likes him? | 你以为他就因为这样才讨人嫌? |
| [09:23] | Oh, don’t worry about it. The park will be fine. | 别担心啦 公园不会有事的 |
| [09:26] | Nothing’s going to change. | 太阳依旧从东边升起 |
| [09:44] | It’s going to be so much more convenient to hunt them all in our own backyard. | 能在自家后院猎杀野生动物再方便不过了 |
| [09:57] | Well, this is great. | 好吧 这样也好 |
| [09:58] | All these wild animals are going to be a huge draw for the tourists. | 野生动物肯定能招来大批游客 |
| [10:01] | Uh, Woody, | 呃 Woody |
| [10:03] | The animals are eating the tourists. | 野生动物正在吃游客哎 |
| [10:07] | I just thought of a great way for you to lose weight. | 我刚想到了一个帮你减肥的好方法 |
| [10:09] | Really? | 真的? |
| [10:10] | It’s called running as fast as you mother[bleep] can! | 我称之为”能特么跑多快就特么跑多快”减肥法 |
| [10:17] | Worst-case scenario, they rip your leg off. | 最糟也不过是它们撕断了你的腿 |
| [10:19] | That’s still losing weight! | 腿没了正好减肥了 |
| [10:20] | Thanks, buddy! | 谢啦 好兄弟 |
| [10:22] | Woody, what are you going to do about this? | Woody 你要怎么解决这摊子事? |
| [10:25] | Hmm, would you accept “[bleep] you” as an answer? | 你接受”草泥马”这个回答吗? |
| [10:27] | No. | 不 |
| [10:28] | Fine! I’ll go talk to the mayor. | 那行 老子去找市长谈 |
| [10:34] | Oh, no, Bobby. Rhinoceroseses! | 不好啦 Bobby 有犀牛 |
| [10:36] | I told you we shouldn’t have played Jumanji! | 我早说我们不该玩”尤曼吉”的 |
| [10:42] | Listen, Fordles, can we talk? | 求你啦 Ford仔 我们谈谈好么? |
| [10:44] | Uh, some of the other rangers-not me, of course– | 部分其他林警… 当然 不包括我… |
| [10:46] | Think the animals you flew into the park are | 觉得你空运来的动物们正在… |
| [10:49] | destroying the place. Crazy, right? | 毁掉公园 无稽之谈 对吧? |
| [10:52] | Tell them I’m calling the shots at Brickleberry now. | 告诉他们脆莓现在我说了算 |
| [10:55] | If it gets destroyed, so be it, | 如果真毁了 也没啥大不了 |
| [10:57] | as long as I get to hunt down | 只要我可以猎杀动物 |
| [11:00] | and kill those animals the only way a man should… | 用真汉子唯一该用的方式送它们上路: |
| [11:05] | High on crack! | 嗑嗨大屠杀 |
| [11:09] | Yeah, but why do you have to do it at Brickleberry? | 那为什么你偏偏要在脆莓这样搞? |
| [11:11] | Well, it beats going to Africa. I hate flying. | 这比去非洲强多啦 老子讨厌坐飞机 |
| [11:14] | And skinny kids with fat bellies scare me. | 还有那些皮包骨的大肚娃儿真是吓死我 |
| [11:16] | I know, right? | 我跟你想的一样 |
| [11:17] | Pick a body type, you fat skinny bastards. | 选个体型好吧 既胖又瘦的死畸形们 |
| [11:20] | I’m just lucky you picked up those two aces on the draw. | 我真庆幸当时发牌你一连抓起了两张A |
| [11:24] | Yeah, if only I’d– | 是啊 如果我… |
| [11:25] | how’d you know I picked up two aces on the draw? | 你怎么知道发牌时我抓了两张A? |
| [11:28] | Wait a second. You cheated! | 等一下 你出老千 |
| [11:30] | Oh, no. A politician who cheats? | 哎哟不好啦 搞政治的居然出老千? |
| [11:33] | What’s next? | 接下来会怎样? |
| [11:34] | An eskimo that [bleeps] coconuts? | 来个搞椰子的爱斯基摩人吗? |
| [11:38] | Sorry, I’m very high. | 不好意思 嗑太嗨了 |
| [11:41] | But–but we’re best friends. | 可… 可我们是好基友啊 |
| [11:43] | We’re not friends! You’re an asshole! | 我们才不是 你是个混球 |
| [11:46] | I played you like a bitch just to get my hands on that park. | 我像玩婊子一样玩弄了你 为的就是把公园搞到手 |
| [11:50] | This means war! You are now a sworn enemy of Woody Johnson. | 咱开战了 你现在是Woody Johnson不同戴天的仇人了 |
| [11:54] | Unless you want to start over and try to be friends again? | 除非你想咱俩从头来过重归于好? |
| [11:56] | No, I don’t. | 我不想 |
| [11:59] | Jesus, who wrote this shit? | 老天爷 这烂剧本谁写的? |
| [12:01] | And then, he could [bleep] a coconut! | 而且呀 他可以日椰子 |
| [12:04] | Hello, Emmy. | 艾美奖俺来啦 |
| [12:07] | Come on out, Mallory. | 出来嘛 Mallory |
| [12:08] | Don’t be shy. | 别害臊哦 |
| [12:10] | I know what it’s like to be the ugly one. | 当丑逼的心情我懂 |
| [12:12] | But it gets better. | 但慢慢会好起来的 |
| [12:14] | It doesn’t get any better. | 根本不会好起来 |
| [12:21] | I can work with this. | 这个我搞得定 |
| [12:45] | Ethel, Connie, gotta say, nice work. | Ethel Connie 老实说 干得漂亮 |
| [12:47] | I actually have half a chub here. | 看得我都硬起来一半了 |
| [12:49] | So, Mallory, you’ve been quiet. | 那啥 Mallory 你好安静啊 |
| [12:51] | Tell me something about yourself. | 跟我聊聊你自己吧 |
| [12:53] | Be yourself, Mallory. | 自然表现就好 Mallory |
| [12:55] | Wanna take this train to [bleep] town? | 想骑着姐逍遥一下么? |
| [12:58] | I’m sorry? | 你说啥? |
| [12:59] | Can I taste yo’ juice? | 射点出来让姐尝尝好么? |
| [13:01] | I’m not even sure what we’re talking about. | 我都不敢确定我们在谈什么话题 |
| [13:02] | I want to punch you in the b-hole. | 姐想一拳伸进你菊花 |
| [13:05] | All right. | 我够了 |
| [13:06] | And the word of the day is “extinction.” | 今天的关键词是”绝种” |
| [13:08] | Hang me upside down and speed bag my tits! | 把姐倒挂起来 用你蛋蛋蹭姐的双峰 |
| [13:14] | Oh, my best friend betrayed me, | 我的好基友背叛了我 |
| [13:16] | and I have no way of getting my park back. | 怎么夺回公园 我一点办法都没 |
| [13:18] | – What do I do, Malloy? – I got my own problems. | – 我该怎么办 Malloy? – 我也有自己的麻烦 |
| [13:21] | Some cock-eyed woodchuck wants me to punch her in the b-hole. | 有个斜眼儿小荡妇想让我拳交她的菊花 |
| [13:24] | No wonder I’m the last of my species. | 难怪这个物种只剩下我一个 |
| [13:25] | That’s it. You’re a genius, Malloy. | 有啦 你真是天才 Malloy |
| [13:28] | No, but I still make Steve look dumber than a sack of dry shit. | 我不是 但我还是可以让Steve蠢得赛过一麻袋干翔 |
| [13:33] | Sack. | “麻蛋” |
| [13:35] | Malloy, why’d you run off? | Malloy 你干嘛遛掉啊? |
| [13:37] | I thought you and Mallory had a real moment there. | 我觉得你和Mallory刚对上眼儿呢 |
| [13:39] | What moment was that? | 你指的是哪个眼儿? |
| [13:40] | When she asked me to fistfight her lady lips? | 她让我用拳搞的那个”眼儿”么? |
| [13:42] | Yeah, that was [bleep] hot. | 是呀 真特么够劲 |
| [13:46] | Malloy, you have a responsibility to continue your kind. | Malloy 延续你的种群 你义不容辞 |
| [13:50] | You have to have sex with her. | 你必须和她啪啪啪 |
| [13:51] | I’d rather die. | 我不如去死 |
| [13:52] | Then you leave me no choice. | 那你让我别无选择了 |
| [13:54] | I wasn’t serious! | 我开玩笑的 |
| [13:58] | Aw, what a cute little coma. | 好萌的昏迷样儿啊 |
| [14:01] | What are you doing? | 你这是干嘛? |
| [14:02] | I was able to extract an egg from Mallory last night. | 昨晚我从Mallory那里取到了一颗卵子 |
| [14:05] | Now I just need to get Malloy’s sperm, and I can fertilize it. | 现在只要搞到Malloy的精子 就可以人工授精了 |
| [14:08] | It’s okay, Ethel. Just close your eyes | 没事的 Ethel 只要闭上眼睛 |
| [14:11] | And pretend you’re tugging your way out of another speeding ticket. | 假装你又在为逃掉超速罚单 帮交警卖力撸管 |
| [14:16] | Connie, I got the semen! | Connie 搞到精子啦 |
| [14:18] | Yeah, it’s about time. | 总算出来了 |
| [14:19] | I got tired of watching after two hours. | 我光是看了两小时都看累了 |
| [14:22] | Yeah, whiskey dick’s nothing compared to tranq spank. | 跟撸麻醉管儿相比 撸醉鬼的管儿简直不叫事 |
| [14:24] | Pretty sure I have carpal tunnel now, | 我肯定得腕管综合症了 |
| [14:26] | But you know what, it was worth it. | 但知道吗 这么做也值了 |
| [14:33] | Steve! You gained 10 pounds! | Steve 你又涨了9斤 |
| [14:35] | Damn it! I’ll never fit in this uniform. | 我靠 这衣服我永远都穿不上了 |
| [14:38] | Looks like diet and exercise aren’t your thing. | 看来节食和锻炼都不适合你 |
| [14:40] | We need to try something new. | 咱们得试些新花样 |
| [14:41] | But I’ve tried everything. Not even liposuction worked! | 可我啥都试过了 连抽脂都不行啊 |
| [14:46] | I can’t believe you were going to throw this out. | 难以至信你们居然要把这些好东西扔了 |
| [14:48] | It’s delicious! | 好吃死了都 |
| [14:53] | Where are you taking me? | 你要带我去哪儿? |
| [14:54] | I was having the best tug job dream. | 我在梦里正被撸得飞起呢 |
| [14:56] | You’re going to help me save this park. Now be quiet. | 你得帮助我夺回这个公园 给我安静点 |
| [15:02] | Well, mayor, I guess you really tickled his ivories. | 市长 这款象牙你偷得有一套呀 |
| [15:05] | What do you want, Woody? | 你要干嘛 Woody? |
| [15:07] | Well, I thought you might be interested in a little wager, | 你说自己是个赌徒嘛 |
| [15:10] | Since you call yourself a betting man. | 我想我有你感兴趣的东西 |
| [15:12] | What could you possibly have that I want? | 你还能有什么可赌的? |
| [15:15] | I’ve already taken everything from you. | 我已经把你所有的东西都夺走了 |
| [15:17] | Oh, not everything. Look at these gums. | 不是所有东西喔 看看这货牙口 |
| [15:20] | What is this, roots? | 这是在演《根》吗? |
| [15:21] | Oh, my god! Ursus loquacious! | 哇 多嘴熊 |
| [15:24] | The rarest animal on the planet, | 世界上最稀有的动物 |
| [15:28] | The holy grail. | 圣品啊 |
| [15:29] | Here’s the bet. | 赌局这么玩 |
| [15:30] | – I’ll let you hunt Malloy… – What? | – 我让你拿Malloy打猎 – 什么? |
| [15:32] | But only for one hour. | 但只给你一个小时 |
| [15:34] | If you can’t kill him, I get my park back. | 如果你杀不了它 就把公园还给我 |
| [15:36] | Can we think of a plan that doesn’t involve my death? | 你能不能想个不让我死的点子啊? |
| [15:39] | Nah, too much trouble. | 那太麻烦了 |
| [15:40] | The hunt starts at noon tomorrow. | 狩猎明天中午开始 |
| [15:42] | You got a deal. | 成交 |
| [15:44] | Get ready to mount that rhino. | 我打算搞定那头犀牛呢 |
| [15:46] | Get in line. Oh, I like these exotic women. | 排队等着去吧 我喜欢这个外来妞 |
| [15:53] | Ugh! This diet is making me hungry. | 节食饿死我了 |
| [15:58] | I don’t know who see-mon is, but I’m eating his yogurt. | 不知道这个”米青子”是谁 我要吃这酸奶了 |
| [16:05] | It’s got a kick to it! | 我要吃个底朝天 |
| [16:06] | Steve, what the [bleep] are you doing? | Steve 你特么干什么呢? |
| [16:08] | I know! I’m cheating on my diet. | 我知道 我破了节食的规矩了 |
| [16:10] | Cheating on your diet? You eating bear jizz! | 什么叫破规矩了? 你吃的是熊的精液 |
| [16:13] | Oh, my god! | 天啊 |
| [16:16] | Oh, my god! | 天啊 |
| [16:19] | Why would see-mon write his name on a cup of bear jizz? | “米青子”为啥要把名字写在装熊精液的杯子上啊? |
| [16:26] | Steve, do you feel okay? | Steve 你还好吧? |
| [16:28] | Uh, just got a hold of some bad yogurt. | 我吃了点不干净的酸奶 |
| [16:31] | I’m trying not to think about it. | 正努力忘掉这糟心事呢 |
| [16:33] | Wanna split my tapioca pudding? | 要不要来点木薯布丁? |
| [16:36] | You could’ve just said “no.” | 你说”不要”就可以了 |
| [16:39] | So Woody’s big plan is to sacrifice my life | Woody的超级计划是牺牲我的性命… |
| [16:42] | To get his stupid park back. | 换回这个破公园 |
| [16:44] | Cubsy wubs, there’s no way daddy’s gonna let you die. | 毛绒小熊熊 爸爸不会让你死的 |
| [16:46] | I’ve got it all planned out. | 我都计划好了 |
| [16:48] | What? My funeral? Eat my jizz, Woody. | 计划什么 我的葬礼吗? 吃我精液去吧 Woody |
| [16:51] | Shut up! | 闭嘴 |
| [16:52] | First, I’m going use bear tracks to lure mayor Ford to the brickleberry briar patch | 首先 我要用熊脚印把Ford市长引到荆棘路上去 |
| [16:57] | where stage one of my plot begins… | 这是计划的第一步 |
| [16:59] | And that brings us to little ol’ stage 238: | 然后我们开始计划的第238步: |
| [17:03] | Batman’ll come swinging in and say, “justice!” | 蝙蝠侠现身大喊: 正义必胜 |
| [17:08] | So as long as we do this all before noon, you’ll be fine. | 只要我们在中午前布置好 你就没事了 |
| [17:11] | Uh, it’s 12:45. | 现在12点45了 |
| [17:13] | You see, that’s why I need an alarm clock in my ass! | 看吧 所以我需要在屁股里塞个闹钟嘛 |
| [17:17] | Wow, Malloy! | 喔 Malloy |
| [17:18] | I didn’t know you were in the triple nipple club too. | 我不知道你也在三个乳头俱乐部 |
| [17:21] | Oh, crap! Move! | 该死 快闪 |
| [17:24] | I’m outta here. Great plan, Woody. | 我走了 你这计划真不错 |
| [17:27] | Where are you going? It’s dangerous out there. | 你要去哪? 外头太危险了 |
| [17:29] | It’s dangerous in here. | 这里照样危险 |
| [17:30] | And if I’m gonna die, I’m not gonna die a virgin. | 如果真要死 我不想死的时候还是处男 |
| [17:33] | Hey! Someone spilled bleach in my warm salted mayonnaise. | 嘿 有人把漂白粉放到我的蛋黄酱里去了 |
| [17:38] | You smell it, Steve? | 你闻一下 Steve |
| [17:39] | That’s so specifi– | 这味道太像… |
| [17:42] | Ew, gross! | 恶心死了 |
| [17:46] | There’s not much time. We have to make love. | 没多少时间了 只能咱俩做爱了 |
| [17:49] | Shit, yeah, we do. | 必须啊我擦 |
| [17:50] | Oh, it’s time to serve up some panny pudding. | 该给你亮亮老娘我的底了 |
| [17:55] | No. | 不 |
| [17:56] | Oh, hell, you gonna tape me up before you split these guts? | 我去 你打算在开干之前把我绑起来吗? |
| [18:01] | That gets my ovaries clapping and my bung hole flapping ’cause– | 小心我的洞洞会把你夹死 因为… |
| [18:06] | All right. Let’s get this over with. | 行了 咱们快点解决吧 |
| [18:09] | Come out, little bear. This won’t hurt much. | 出来吧 小熊熊 不会很疼的 |
| [18:12] | It’s just a little genocide. | 只是把你小小的灭种而已 |
| [18:17] | I’ve got you now. | 找到你了 |
| [18:19] | Nothing like killing an animal at his moment of climax. | 在动物爱爱的时候开枪最爽了 |
| [18:23] | Don’t you shoot my bear! | 别碰我的熊 |
| [18:27] | No! | 不 |
| [18:31] | I wish I knew what it was like to lose a child. | 我也想体会下失去孩子的感觉 |
| [18:33] | Khloe? | 你说克洛伊吗? |
| [18:33] | 克洛伊·卡戴珊: 美国娱乐界明星 布鲁斯·詹那为卡戴珊姐妹继父 | |
| [18:34] | Yeah, Khloe. I hate that hairy ape. | 是 克洛伊 恨死那个长毛怪了 |
| [18:38] | Malloy, you were my best friend. I loved you. | Malloy 你是我最好的朋友 我爱你 |
| [18:42] | Why did I try to find a new friend when my true friend was right here, | 真朋友就在身边 我为什么还要去找新朋友? |
| [18:45] | and now my fake friend killed my only friend? | 现在假朋友把我唯一的朋友也杀了 |
| [18:50] | Jesus, you’re a pussy. | 天啊 你个软蛋 |
| [18:52] | But if you’re here calling me a pussy… | 既然你在这儿站着骂我是软蛋 |
| [18:54] | Who is… What is… | 这货是… 这啥… |
| [18:56] | Ew, god damn it, that’s ugly. | 天啊 这玩意儿真丑 |
| [18:59] | Why the hell is she wearing a strap-on? | 她戴个假JJ干嘛? |
| [19:00] | I had to save my ass by giving up my ass. | 为给你擦屁股 我把自己屁股都奉献出去了 |
| [19:04] | Yeah, I’m the only kinky freak around here. | 咱们俩究竟谁是变态 谁心里清楚 |
| [19:06] | 1:00 on the dot. You lose, Woody. | 一点 不早不晚 你输了 Woody |
| [19:10] | The deal was you had to kill Malloy within one hour. | 我们说的是你得在一个小时里杀掉Malloy |
| [19:13] | You killed another bear who was way too ugly to live anyway. | 你杀掉的是另一头丑得要死的熊 |
| [19:17] | I’ll give you this much, Woody. | 这回老子算你赢 Woody |
| [19:18] | You sure know how to get lucky. | 你运气真不错 |
| [19:21] | The park is yours. | 公园还给你了 |
| [19:23] | ♪ I beat you, you son of a bitch! ♪ | ♪ 老子赢了你了 你个混蛋 ♪ |
| [19:26] | Hey, Woody. | 嘿 Woody |
| [19:27] | Well, look who finally decided to show up– batman. | 你终于来了啊 蝙蝠侠 |
| [19:31] | You do know that’s not batman, right? | 你知道他不是蝙蝠侠的对吧? |
| [19:33] | I think I know batman. | 蝙蝠侠我还不认识? |
| [19:35] | He’s been sneaking in my window | 他从我小时候开始 |
| [19:37] | and fingering my bat cave ever since I was a little boy. | 每天都爬进我屋里来 用手指插我的蝙蝠洞 |
| [19:42] | Today I learned a valuable lesson about friendship. | 今天 我对友谊有了新的认识 |
| [19:45] | It is better not to have any friends, | 人最好还是不要交朋友 |
| [19:48] | So I’m just going to continue being an asshole. | 所以我还是接着当个混蛋好了 |
| [19:50] | Oh, and I also learned that some guy dressed in a batman suit | 另外我刚知道 有个人扮成蝙蝠侠 |
| [19:52] | Molested me as a child. | 小时候猥亵过我 |
| [19:54] | Now that Mallory’s gone, | 既然Mallory也死了 |
| [19:55] | I’m pretty excited to be the last of my species. | 很高兴成为本族群里唯一一个活体 |
| [19:57] | People will pay big money to see me. | 人们会花大钱来看我的 |
| [19:59] | Well, you’re not exactly the last, Malloy. | 其实你不算最后一个呢 Malloy |
| [20:02] | Thanks to the artificial bear womb I got on skymall, | 我在天拉维上买了个人造熊子宫 |
| [20:04] | Malloy’s child will be born any second. | Malloy的孩子马上就要诞生了 |
| [20:07] | Ooh, I’m going to be a grandfather! | 哦 我要当爷爷了 |
| [20:09] | Uh, Woody, can I get a smaller ranger uniform? | Woody 能给我件小点的制服吗? |
| [20:12] | This one doesn’t fit me anymore. | 这件太大 我穿不了了 |
| [20:14] | Oh, jesus. What the hell happened to you? | 天啊 你怎么了? |
| [20:17] | What do you got, all the aids? | 是不是把所有艾滋染了个遍? |
| [20:18] | No, I’ve been throwing up every day since I ate Malloy’s semen. | 不是的 我从吃了Malloy的精液之后 天天都在吐 |
| [20:22] | You did what? | 你干了什么? |
| [20:23] | Don’t worry, I knew you’d be mad, | 别担心 我知道你会生气的 |
| [20:25] | So I replaced it with my semen. | 所以我射了自己的精液进去了 |
| [20:28] | Oh, my god. | 天啊 |
| [20:33] | Kill me! | 杀了我吧 |
| [20:39] | Got the only one. I am a god now. | 我杀掉了最后一头 叫我上帝 |
| [20:45] | Uh, that’s definitely for the best. | 这样收场最好了 |
| [20:47] | I [bleep] love that guy. | 真特么喜欢这家伙 |