| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Now, kids, in honor of Veterans Day, | 孩子们 为了纪念退伍军人节 |
| [00:04] | We’ve got a very special guest speaker. | 我们有请到了一位特邀发言人 |
| [00:06] | A real, live war hero: | 一位我们身边的战争英雄 |
| [00:09] | Woody Johnson Woody Johnson. | |
| [00:11] | Hi, kids, she’s right. I am a war hero. | 嗨 孩子们 她没骗人 我就是战争英雄 |
| [00:14] | My dad’s a fireman. | 我爸爸是消防员 |
| [00:16] | Your dad is a pussy. | 你爸真娘炮 |
| [00:18] | While your fathers were all smoking doobies and washing out their vaginas, | 当你们老爸忙着抽他们的大麻 洗他们的弱逼 |
| [00:22] | I was in the shit fighting for your freedom… | 老子可在为你们的自由战屎沙场呢 |
| [00:24] | When I wasn’t giving Iraqi whores my Veiny Hussein-y. | 当然除了带着丁丁·侯赛因去玩伊拉克婊子以外 |
| [00:29] | Can you skip to the part where you got your medal? | 您能直接跳到为什么获得奖章那部分吗? |
| [00:31] | I’m getting to that, bitch. | 这就说到了 婊子 |
| [00:33] | I was in an elite special ops unit called the Red Skulls. | 我所在的精英特种兵小队名叫”红骷髅” |
| [00:36] | One day when we were on patrol, | 一天我们正在执行巡逻任务 |
| [00:38] | a fellow soldier, Private Jackubowski, got wounded. | 我的队友 列兵Jackubowski 中弹受伤 |
| [00:41] | I saved his life. | 我救了他一命 |
| [00:43] | I dragged that half-dead bastard over three miles of war-torn desert. | 我拖着那半死不活的混蛋一路跑了三英里的战事沙漠 |
| [00:47] | It was a truly brave act. | 实在是英勇可嘉 |
| [00:50] | How did the soldier get hurt? | 这位士兵是怎么受伤的? |
| [00:52] | What are you, the [bleep] hague? | 你咋回事 诉讼代理嘛? |
| [00:53] | It was a long time ago. | 时间过去这么久了 |
| [00:54] | Like I can remember all the details. | 我上哪儿能记住那么多细节?! |
| [00:57] | Now we are blood brothers for life. | 现在我们就是一辈子的结拜兄弟了 |
| [00:59] | We’ll always have each others’ backs. | 要一直做彼此的天使 |
| [01:02] | Red skulls! Respect and protect! | 红骷髅 肝胆相照 |
| [01:04] | Oh, there you go. | 你机会来了 |
| [01:25] | Steve, you’re a funny mother [bleep]. | Steve 你特么逗比哭了 |
| [01:27] | You’d have to be high to laugh at that. | 乐成这幅屌样 你也是嗑嗨了 |
| [01:29] | I’m always high, huh? That’s messed up. | 我就不能不嗑是吧? 净瞎逼扯 |
| [01:32] | It’s 4:20! | 4:20咯 |
| [01:38] | All right, rangers. | 听好了 林警们 |
| [01:42] | I told you he was funny. | 就说他逗比哭了 |
| [01:44] | Steve, let me help you up. | Steve 哥帮你起来 |
| [01:45] | Bad news, rangers. | 坏消息 林警们 |
| [01:47] | You won’t be receiving Christmas bonuses this year. | 今年圣诞节你们拿不到奖金了 |
| [01:50] | – Oh, man. – What? | – 我去 – 啥玩意? |
| [01:51] | I never get one anyway. | 反正哪年我都没拿到过 |
| [01:53] | Well, that’s because you’re a lesbian, Connie! Jeez! | 谁让你丫同性恋 Connie 叫屈个毛啊 |
| [01:55] | What about the rest of us? We were counting on that money. | 那我们剩下几个人的呢? 指着那钱活命的好吧 |
| [01:58] | Well, I had to use the money to renovate the park. | 哎呀 为了修缮公园 我也只能挪用奖金了 |
| [02:01] | By park, he means our cabin. | 此处”公园”是指我们的房子 |
| [02:02] | This is ridiculous. | 别扯了行嘛 |
| [02:03] | You and Malloy already live in a mansion | 你跟Malloy已经住豪邸了 |
| [02:05] | while we’re stuck in run-down shacks. | 我们可都还窝在破棚子里呢 |
| [02:07] | Silence, peasant. | 消停 草民 |
| [02:08] | I’m the boss and I have to make hard decisions, | 我是老大 再难的决定我也得拿主意 |
| [02:11] | like deciding if I wanted cherry or mahogany floors in the new wing of my cabin. | 比如我就得决定房子的侧厅是用樱桃木还是红木地板捏? |
| [02:14] | Suck it! | 咋地吧 |
| [02:15] | You see, Woody and I are upper class. | 要知道 Woody和我是上等阶层 |
| [02:17] | We can’t survive without nice things, | 不用高逼格的东西会死的好吧 |
| [02:19] | like this jacket made of real bear fur. | 例如这款真熊毛夹克 |
| [02:21] | Look, I don’t have a heart of stone. | 听着 我的心也不是石头做的 |
| [02:24] | I’m even having a housewarming party to celebrate our renovations, | 我都张罗着办一场庆祝翻新的暖房派对呢 |
| [02:27] | and I want you all there. | 我… 希望你们都能到场 |
| [02:30] | What a dick. | 这贱逼 |
| [02:32] | Here’s to our cabin’s new addition: | 敬我们的老房完成扩建: |
| [02:34] | the Christmas bonus room. | 圣诞节奖金屋 |
| [02:36] | To the one percent. | 敬这百分之一的阶级 |
| [02:37] | This party is a bunch of bullshit. | 这派对纯属扯淡 |
| [02:39] | Yeah, did Woody really have to spring for indoor snow? | 是啊 Woody有必要整个室内雪景出来么? |
| [02:44] | Snow is for poor people. That’s cocaine. | 穷逼才玩雪呢 那是可卡因 |
| [02:47] | Hello, Frosty the Blow Man. | 你好哇 雪嗨子 |
| [02:51] | Eight ball fight! | 堕天使大战 |
| [02:54] | All right! | 爆爽嘿 |
| [02:56] | Woody, your war buddies are here. | Woody 你的老战友们来了 |
| [02:58] | Hey! It’s Hoppy, Gimpy, and Lefty. | 嘿 蹦跶哥 死瘸子 左撇子 |
| [03:01] | Isn’t it funny how you guys got injuries that matched your nicknames? | 战场一失利 绰号就来哩 说你们仨多逗乐吧 |
| [03:04] | It’s odd how you were the only red skull who made it out without a single injury. | 话说红骷髅战队就你一个家伙毫发无损 这事儿够诡异 |
| [03:09] | Well, I guess heroes aren’t just braver than normal people, | 看来英雄人物不光比一般人英勇 |
| [03:12] | they’re also luckier. | 还更幸运哼 |
| [03:13] | Don’t forget, I saved Jackubowski. | 可别忘了 我救过Jackubowski |
| [03:15] | To Jackubowski. | 敬Jackubowski |
| [03:17] | Red skulls! Respect and protect! | 红骷髅 肝胆相照 |
| [03:19] | Do you jerk off with that thing? | 你用这玩意打飞机嘛? |
| [03:21] | I’ll bet it’s like getting a hand job from a velociraptor. | 估计跟迅猛龙给人打飞机一个滋味儿 |
| [03:29] | Those pigs. They don’t have class. | 那些个猪头 上层个蛋蛋 |
| [03:32] | They don’t even know what class is. | 他们压根就不懂什么叫”上层” |
| [03:34] | Ooh, trash vodka. | 我去 废伏特加 |
| [03:37] | Do you work here? | 你是这儿上班的吗? |
| [03:38] | Unfortunately, I didn’t finish college, so yes. | 命运多舛 我大学半路辍了 所以是的 |
| [03:41] | I need to see head ranger Woody Johnson at once. | 我现在立刻马上要见Woody Johnson |
| [03:43] | Why? | 干啥? |
| [03:44] | Because I’m the new Secretary of the Interior. | 因为我是新任内政部秘书长 |
| [03:47] | I’m your boss’ boss. | 你老大的老大 |
| [03:49] | Oh, I’d hate to get him into trouble. | 真不想害他惹上麻烦才怪 |
| [03:53] | I haven’t made a coke angel since I was a kid. | 上次玩可卡因天使还是小屁孩的时候 |
| [03:56] | Man, Jorge said he was sending over some ugly whores, | 我去 Jorge说搞点丑逼妓女过来 |
| [03:59] | And he wasn’t joking. | 真心没开玩笑啊 |
| [04:01] | At least you look like you can take a punch. | 不过看你这样 给上两拳问题不大 |
| [04:04] | Well, let’s get this over with before the coke dick sets in | 行嘞 咱速炮速决 小心可卡因丁丁哆嗦回去… |
| [04:06] | And makes it awkward for both of us. | 搞得咱们两边儿都尴尬 |
| [04:08] | Hey, Woody, where should I put these ugly whores? | 嘿 Woody 这几个丑逼妓女给你撂哪? |
| [04:11] | Wait, if you’re not one of Jorge’s homely hookers, | 慢着 你要不是Jorge的丑妓女 |
| [04:14] | Who the hell are you? | 你特么是谁? |
| [04:15] | She’s your boss, | 是你老大 |
| [04:16] | The new Secretary of the Interior. | 新任内政部秘书长 |
| [04:19] | Suck it. | 咋地吧 |
| [04:20] | Care to explain what’s going on here, Mr. Johnson? | 能解释一下这儿是什么状况嘛 Johnson先生? |
| [04:22] | Uh, this is all a party in your honor. | 那个… 是恭候您大驾的派对啊 |
| [04:25] | Surprise! | 惊喜 |
| [04:27] | Key bump? | 嗨一下? |
| [04:29] | Let’s talk about something important. | 我们来谈一些重要的事务 |
| [04:32] | Put that coffee down. | 咖啡给我放下 |
| [04:36] | Do you think I’m [bleep] with you? | 你以为我跟你瞎逼闹呢嘛? |
| [04:37] | I am not [bleep] with you. | 我没跟你瞎逼闹 |
| [04:40] | You call yourself a ranger, you son of a bitch? | 你也敢叫自己林警? 你个狗娘养的? |
| [04:44] | I peed. | 吓尿了 |
| [04:44] | You are the sorriest excuse for rangers I’ve ever seen, | 你是我这辈子见过林警圈里最烂的一个 |
| [04:49] | And I’ve been in this business for 15 years. | 老娘干这行足有十五年了 |
| [04:52] | – What’s your name? – [bleep] you. | – 敢问大名? – 去你妈的 |
| [04:54] | That’s my name. | 就叫这个 |
| [04:55] | Is that Korean? | 是韩文名吗? |
| [04:56] | Brickleberry is the worst park in the country. | 脆莓是全美最操蛋的公园没有之一 |
| [04:59] | Fucking auschwitz would get a better yelp review. | 奥斯维辛集中营也特么比这儿好一万倍 |
| [05:02] | I’m here to turn this dump around, | 在这个垃圾堆有所改观之前 |
| [05:04] | And I’m not leaving until I do. | 我都会一直坐镇这里 |
| [05:06] | There are going to be changes. | “改观”绝非一句空话 |
| [05:08] | Number one: Drug tests. | 第一步 药检 |
| [05:10] | It’s been a pleasure working here. I’m gonna miss all of y’all. Bye-bye. | 过去跟这儿干得很开心 我会想你们大家的 拜拜 |
| [05:14] | That brings us to Woody Johnson. | 接下来轮到Woody Johnson了 |
| [05:17] | You couldn’t manage a blow job in a dick factory. | 你连在鸡鸡工厂里口爆的活都干不好 |
| [05:19] | Dick factory? Is that where they make dicks, or is it a factory made out of dicks? | 鸡鸡工厂? 是制造鸡鸡的工厂还是用鸡鸡制造成的工厂? |
| [05:24] | Shut up, you idiot! | 闭嘴 痴呆 |
| [05:25] | I should fire your fat ass. | 我真该炒了你这肥逼 |
| [05:27] | No! Please give me another chance. | 不要 请再给我一次机会吧 |
| [05:29] | I know this park sucks, but I’ll have a plan to fix everything. | 我知道这公园很操蛋 但我有改变现状的良方 |
| [05:32] | First thing in the morning. | 明早第一时间做给你看 |
| [05:34] | All right, Johnson, but it better be good | 好吧 Johnson 但你最好靠谱点 |
| [05:37] | Or there’ll be hell to pay. | 不然你吃不了兜着走 |
| [05:39] | Bye, fuck you. | 拜咯 去你妈的 |
| [05:43] | You can’t quit. This park is your home. | 你不能走 这公园可是你的家啊 |
| [05:45] | All you have to do is go without weed for a couple of days. | 只要忍它个两天不碰大麻不就行了 |
| [05:48] | I’ve never gone without weed for two hours, much less two days. | 两小时不碰大麻就能要我的命 更别提两天了 |
| [05:51] | Well, I’m not losing my best friend. | 反正我不要失去我最好的朋友 |
| [05:52] | You can stop, and I’ll help you. | 你戒得掉 我会帮你的 |
| [05:54] | I do like working here. | 我真心喜欢在这里工作 |
| [05:55] | You really think you could help me quit? | 你真觉得能帮我戒掉? |
| [05:57] | How bad can it be? | 能有多难嘛 |
| [05:58] | It’s not like you’re gonna have withdrawals. | 戒大麻又不是戒海洛因 |
| [06:04] | See the baby? See the baby! | 看到那孩子没? 我看到了 |
| [06:21] | Come on, Steve, just give me one puff. | 拜托 Steve 就让我来一口 |
| [06:23] | I’ll suck your cock. | 给你跪舔都行 |
| [06:24] | You can suck my cock all you want, | 你想怎么舔我二弟就怎么舔 |
| [06:26] | But you’re not getting any weed. | 但休想抽到半口大麻 |
| [06:31] | I need a plan to fix the park. | 我得想办法整治公园 |
| [06:34] | Plan to fix the park. That’s it! | 想办法整治公园 有了 |
| [06:39] | Where the hell are them loompa oompas? | 我的巫毒娃娃都上哪去了? |
| [06:43] | Goddamn it! Forgot to feed them. | 我了个艹 忘了喂她们了 |
| [06:46] | What are you screaming about? | 你叫个毛线啊? |
| [06:47] | I can’t come up with a plan to fix this park. | 我想不出整治公园的法子啊 |
| [06:50] | Oh, that secretary is going to fire me tomorrow. | 那秘书长明天肯定会让我卷铺盖走人的 |
| [06:52] | Uh, you’re in the ranger union. | 你在林警工会的好吧 |
| [06:54] | She can’t fire you. | 她无权炒你 |
| [06:55] | – She can’t? – No. | – 无权? – 无权 |
| [06:56] | If you want her respect, be a man. | 如果你要她尊重你 就拿出点骨气 |
| [06:58] | March in there tomorrow and show her who’s boss. | 明天到办公室让她明白 谁才是老大 |
| [07:01] | Yeah. Good idea, Malloy. | 是啊 好主意 Malloy |
| [07:03] | Hey, where did Frosty the Blow Man go? | 嘿 “雪嗨子”到哪去了? |
| [07:04] | Oh, uh, he had to go back to the North Pole and help Santa, little buddy. | 噢 他得回北极去帮圣诞老人了 小兄弟 |
| [07:09] | You snorted him, didn’t you? | 你吸光他了 是不是? |
| [07:10] | Yeah, snorted him. Hat and all. | 是 吸光光了 连帽子带脚 |
| [07:14] | Who re-painted the trim on the ranger station? | 谁把林警站的雨槽给重新漆了? |
| [07:17] | Good morning, everyone. | 早上好 大伙们 |
| [07:18] | Denzel, what are you doing at work before lunch? | Denzel 午餐前你上什么班儿啊? |
| [07:20] | Denzel is clean and sober for the first time ever. | 这是Denzel头一回清醒又不嗨 |
| [07:23] | I’m proud of him. | 我为他骄傲 |
| [07:24] | I’ve accomplished so much this morning. | 今早我办了不少事呢 |
| [07:26] | Now I’m going to write a letter to Adult Swim. | 现在我要写封信给Adult Swim频道 |
| [07:28] | It abruptly stopped being funny last night. | 昨晚开始那台的节目突然变得索然无味了 |
| [07:30] | It just turned into nonsense. | 从头到尾都是一通屁话 |
| [07:31] | All right, Johnson, let’s hear this plan. | 好了 Johnson 我们听听你有何计划 |
| [07:33] | Yes, ma’am. | 好的 女士 |
| [07:34] | All right, this is you. | 好了 这就是你 |
| [07:36] | I’m a hateful bitch with a dried-up snatch. | 我是个阴道枯萎的仇世贱人 |
| [07:39] | What’s that in the sky? | 天上那玩意是啥? |
| [07:40] | Oh no, it’s Woody’s asshole! | 不 那是Woody的屁眼 |
| [07:47] | It’s covering me in shit, but I love it, | 我淹没在屎海了 但这感觉我爱透了 |
| [07:49] | Because I’m such a nasty poop-eating slut. | 因为我就是个恶心的吃屎贱人 |
| [07:52] | It’s in my mouth! | 我满嘴都是屎 |
| [07:53] | Yum, yum, yummy! | 好吃 好吃 好好吃 |
| [07:55] | And there’s my plan. What do you think? | 这就是我的计划 你怎么看? |
| [07:57] | How dare you, Johnson? I’m gonna– | 你吃了豹子胆了 Johnson? 我要… |
| [07:59] | Gonna what? You can’t fire me. I’m in the goddamn ranger union. | 要咋地? 你炒不掉我 老子入了林警工会了 |
| [08:03] | There’s no such thing as a ranger union. | 根本就没什么林警工会 |
| [08:06] | – Huh? – Ooh, sorry. | – 啥? – 噢 抱歉 |
| [08:07] | – I forgot I made that up. – What? | – 忘了那是我编出来的了 – 什么? |
| [08:09] | You deserve to be terminated, Johnson. | 你该被千刀万剐下油锅 Johnson |
| [08:11] | But I’ve got a better idea: A demotion. | 但我有个更好的主意: 降你的职 |
| [08:16] | Sorry, a lowly ranger can’t stay in this cabin, but I can. | 抱歉 屌丝林警没权住这里 但我有权住 |
| [08:21] | You two will have to find housing elsewhere. | 你们俩找别处去住吧 |
| [08:23] | Elsewhere? Elsewhere where? | 别处? 别处在何处? |
| [08:25] | – Not a chance. – Not with me. – No way in hell. | – 不行 – 别跟我住 – 想都别想 |
| [08:28] | Then where are we supposed to stay? | 那我们得上哪去住? |
| [08:31] | Now if you gotta shit, | 想拉屎的话 |
| [08:32] | Go on the newspaper. The sink’s stopped up. | 就拉到报纸上吧 水槽堵住了 |
| [08:36] | Perfect. | 完美爆了 |
| [08:39] | Great job, Woody. This place is almost as bad as a Comfort Inn. | 好样的 Woody 这地方烂得堪比凯富酒店 |
| [08:41] | Goddamn you, Jim. I told you to pay the light bill. | 你大爷 Jim 不是跟你说过交电费嘛 |
| [08:44] | I hope they do shut it off so I won’t be able to see your damn ugly face! | 真希望他们断我们的电 我就不用看你那张天杀的丑脸了 |
| [08:51] | Oh, god. | 我的天 |
| [08:52] | You’re the one who told me to stand up to the secretary. | 还不都赖你让我跟秘书长硬碰硬 |
| [08:55] | I’m a bear. You took advice from a bear. | 我是头熊 你听熊的建议就是这下场 |
| [08:58] | Good point. I won’t do that again. | 说的有理 我再不听你的了 |
| [09:00] | – Now I’ve got some advice for you. – Lay it on me. | – 现在我给你点建议 – 听着呢 |
| [09:02] | From now on, you are going to do everything she says, | 从现在开始 她说什么 你就做什么 |
| [09:05] | And beg her for your old job back. | 跪求她把你的活儿还回来 |
| [09:07] | I hate you, you son of a bitch. | 我恨你 你这狗杂种 |
| [09:11] | I can’t spend another night in this stump dump. | 我不想再在这垃圾堆里继续过夜了 |
| [09:13] | We’ve gotta get our place back. | 我们得把自己的地盘夺回来 |
| [09:14] | We will, Malloy. I promise. | 会夺回来的 Malloy 我保证 |
| [09:16] | Let’s just try to make the best of it. | 现在咱们还是走一步是一步吧 |
| [09:18] | – Oh, lord. – Oh, yeah, give it to me. | – 我的天 – 噢耶 爽死我了 |
| [09:20] | – Oh, lord. – Oh, yeah, give it to me, Jim. | – 我的天 – 爽死我了 干我 Jim |
| [09:24] | Please. Please, give me my job back. | 求求你 求你把我的工作还给我 |
| [09:26] | I saw an amputated stump go somewhere it shouldn’t of last night. | 昨晚我这棵老木头桩子窝在了他不该窝在的地方 |
| [09:30] | Get up, Johnson, you slob. | 滚起来 Johnson 你这条懒狗 |
| [09:32] | If you want your old job back, you have to earn it. | 想要官复原职 你得自己挣回来 |
| [09:34] | Start by doing everything on this list. | 先按这单子上的一条条做起吧 |
| [09:36] | I’ll do it. Ranger Johnson is on it. | 这就去做 林警Johnson即刻出发 |
| [09:40] | ♪ I’m Sappy the Happy Tree ♪ | ♪ 我是快乐树叫蓬蓬 ♪ |
| [09:43] | ♪ Welcome to Brickleberry ♪ | ♪ 脆莓公园呀欢迎你 ♪ |
| [09:45] | Hey, lookie here. Free maple syrup. | 快看呐 有免费枫糖浆喝了 |
| [09:48] | No, no, no… | 不要 不要 不要… |
| [09:51] | Make it shine, Inez. | 给我擦到反光 Inez |
| [09:53] | What’s going on there, Johnson? | 你在做什么 Johnson? |
| [10:07] | What’s all this? | 这是什么情况? |
| [10:08] | I’m selling all my weed stuff. | 我要把吸麻的东西全部卖了 |
| [10:09] | From now on, I’m on the straight and narrow. | 从现在开始 我要规规矩矩做人 |
| [10:11] | Thanks, mister. | 谢谢你 先生 |
| [10:13] | Okay, Mr. Serious. | 好吧 当真先生 |
| [10:15] | Check this out. | 看我这招 |
| [10:17] | Oh, no! My ass! | 不好 我的屁股哇 |
| [10:19] | My burning ass! | 屁股着火了 |
| [10:21] | Now I’ve got broken glass in my burning ass! | 着火的屁股上扎了碎玻璃啦 |
| [10:24] | Why aren’t you laughing? | 你为啥还不笑呢? |
| [10:27] | Oh, my god, Ethel. | 简直不得了 Ethel |
| [10:28] | You’ve gotta try some of these brownies. | 你必须尝尝这些布朗尼蛋糕 |
| [10:30] | They’re yumsters. | 珍馐美味啊 |
| [10:31] | Mmm, don’t mind if I do. | 那我必须得尝尝咯 |
| [10:33] | These are great. | 味道果然不错 |
| [10:35] | Did you bake them? | 你做的吗? |
| [10:36] | No, I got them from Denzel’s yard sale. | 不是 我从Denzel贱卖会上搞来的 |
| [10:39] | Oh, okay. | 哦 挺好 |
| [10:40] | Wait. What? | 等下 什么? |
| [10:44] | I forgot how to shit. | 我忘记怎么拉屎了 |
| [10:51] | Okay, miss secretary, ma’am. I did everything on your list. | 好啦 秘书长女士 你单子上的事我都办了 |
| [10:54] | I know, Johnson. | 我知道的 Johnson |
| [10:55] | Woody, it gives me great pleasure to tell you the new head ranger | Woody 我非常开心地告诉你新的领导者… |
| [11:00] | Is Denzel Jackson. | 是Denzel Jackson |
| [11:02] | – What? – No! | – 啥? – 不会吧 |
| [11:03] | That’s awesome. Thank you, Secretary. | 棒呆了 谢啦 秘书长 |
| [11:06] | What the hell? I did everything you asked! | 搞鸡毛啊? 你让办的事儿我全办了 |
| [11:08] | Why are you ruining my life? | 你为毛要毁掉我的生活? |
| [11:10] | Because a loser like you doesn’t deserve a life. | 因为像你这样的屌丝不配有什么生活 |
| [11:13] | You actually thought I was going to give you your job back? | 你真以为我会让你官复原职嘛? |
| [11:15] | You’ll never be head ranger again on my watch. | 只要有我在 你甭想再当头儿 |
| [11:19] | – Why, you dirty piece of sh– – Don’t lose your temper, Woody. | – 靠 你这坨臭… – 别发怒 Woody |
| [11:22] | We can handle this like adults. | 我们可以成熟应对的 |
| [11:24] | We are going to kill her. | 宰了她没商量 |
| [11:25] | Now that’s good advice. | 这种建议才像话嘛 |
| [11:27] | Hey, can you kill the secretary for us? | 嘿 你能帮我们宰掉那个秘书长吗? |
| [11:29] | Already done. | 已经搞定啦 |
| [11:31] | That’s a secretary, not the secretary. | 这特么是个秘书吧 不是那个秘书长 |
| [11:34] | Oh, don’t worry. I’ve got like 15 more in the truck. | 甭担心 卡车里还装着15个随你挑呢 |
| [11:37] | There’s going to be a lot of unbrewed coffee and empty spread sheets next week. | 下周会有好多咖啡没人煮 好多电子表格没人填的 |
| [11:42] | Okay. We can ride this out. | 没事 我们能熬过这关的 |
| [11:44] | We just need to stay calm. | 只要冷静就好 |
| [11:45] | You’re right. We’ll be fine by tomorrow. | 你说得对 熬到明天就没事了 |
| [11:48] | Tomorrow? | 明天? |
| [11:49] | Connie. The drug test is tomorrow. | Connie 明天就该药检了呀 |
| [11:52] | We have to find some clean urine. | 我们得去找点干净的尿液来 |
| [11:54] | I’ve got a fake penis. | 我这里有个假丁丁 |
| [11:55] | What good will that do us? | 这特么有毛用啊? |
| [11:58] | I’m just saying. | 就是随便说说 |
| [12:00] | Head ranger Denzel Jackson. | Denzel Jackson警长 |
| [12:02] | I like the sound of that. | 这话我爱听 |
| [12:03] | Looking good, buddy. | 人模狗样啊 兄弟 |
| [12:05] | I think that this is cause for a little celebration, huh? | 我觉得咱们该小小庆祝下 你说呢? |
| [12:08] | Steve, what the hell, man? | Steve 你搞毛啊? |
| [12:10] | Head rangers give drug tests, not take them. | 警长只管举行药检 又不接受药检 |
| [12:12] | So you can get high again. | 所以你嗨也没关系啦 |
| [12:14] | I don’t want to get high, | 我才不想嗨 |
| [12:15] | And it’s messed up that you of all people would try to get me to. | 你们这些败类成天引诱我真是操蛋得很 |
| [12:17] | It’s just you’ve been a little uptight. | 你最近有点焦躁呢 |
| [12:19] | You haven’t seemed like yourself since you quit. | 自从你戒了毒好像都变了个人似的 |
| [12:21] | This is myself. | 这才是我 |
| [12:23] | The pothead who laughed at all your dumb bullshit was not me. | 我不是那个看着你那些蠢把戏傻笑的瘾君子 |
| [12:26] | I’m never smoking again. | 我永远不会再抽了 |
| [12:44] | Ethel, I’ve got the clean pee… | Ethel 干净尿搞到手了 |
| [12:47] | No! Oh, we’re finished! | 完了 我们算是完蛋了 |
| [12:49] | We can just come up with another plan. | 我们可以再想办法的嘛 |
| [12:50] | We’re high! | 我们还在飞着呢 |
| [12:52] | It took 17 hours to come up with this plan. | 这个办法都花了我们17个小时才想到 |
| [12:54] | I’ve got it. We need to go see Jorge. | 有了 我们去见Jorge |
| [12:56] | He can fix anything. But we gotta hurry. | 他无所不能 但我们得赶紧 |
| [12:59] | Slow down, Connie! | 开慢点 Connie |
| [13:03] | No! You’re gonna kill us! | 太快了 你会害死咱俩的 |
| [13:08] | Well, like my daddy always said, | 还是的 就像我老爸常说的那样 |
| [13:09] | You want to kill somebody right, you gotta kill them yourself. | 杀人要效率 全得靠自己 |
| [13:13] | Who the hell put rice in my coffee? | 哪个猪头在我咖啡里放大米? |
| [13:15] | Yes! | 成了 |
| [13:17] | Ricin, you idiot. Not “rice in.” | 蓖麻毒 你个呆逼 不是”放大米” |
| [13:21] | Hurry up, Malloy. Cut the brakes. | 搞快点 Malloy 快剪断刹车线 |
| [13:23] | Got it. | 断了 |
| [13:29] | All right, lady, we’ll make this quick and painless. | 好啦 女士 我们下手快 你不会痛苦的 |
| [13:31] | Don’t. I like pain. | 别呀 我最喜欢痛苦了 |
| [13:34] | – Son of a… – You mother– | – 狗娘… – 你娘… |
| [13:40] | Hey, you two, shit’s about to get weird. | 嘿 你俩 今晚玩情趣 |
| [13:42] | Get the Cool Whip. | 快把奶油拿过来 |
| [13:44] | Well, we’re in for another rough night, Malloy. | 唉 今晚又是不眠夜呀 Malloy |
| [13:47] | She won. She beat us. | 她赢了 认输吧 |
| [13:49] | We’ll just start a new life somewhere else. | 我们还是找个新地方重新做人吧 |
| [13:52] | We’re not going out like this, Woody. You are a war hero. | 我们不会这么轻易认输的 Woody 你可是战争英雄 |
| [13:54] | Before we leave, we should shit in her mailbox. | 闪人之前 我们应该去她邮箱里拉泡屎 |
| [13:57] | Malloy, you are on an advice roll. | Malloy 你真是足智多谋 |
| [14:00] | What do you want? | 你想干啥? |
| [14:01] | Look, it was wrong to try and get you to smoke. I’m sorry. | 听着 之前引诱你抽麻是我不对 对不起啦 |
| [14:04] | I brought you a peace offering. | 我给你带了个谢罪礼物 |
| [14:06] | Your favorite thing in the world. | 天底下你的至爱 |
| [14:09] | A macrib? | 麦香排? |
| [14:10] | They’re out of season, so don’t ask me what I had to do to get it. | 都换季停售了 所以别问我是怎么搞到手的 |
| [14:13] | Here’s a hint: | 给个小提示: |
| [14:14] | It involved Grimace and a hand job. | 关键词有”奶昔大哥”和”撸” |
| [14:17] | Steve, I only liked those because I was high. | Steve 我抽麻时才会喜欢这东西 |
| [14:20] | You don’t want it? | 你不想吃? |
| [14:21] | Damn it, Steve. Look what you did. | 我靠 Steve 看你干的好事 |
| [14:23] | Get the hell out of here and leave me alone. | 快特么滚犊子 少来烦我 |
| [14:24] | All I want–I just– | 我就想-就是… |
| [14:25] | Well, I guess it’s not just the Macrib I only like when I’m high. | 看来我抽麻时才会喜欢的东西不止麦香排啊 |
| [14:28] | – Funyuns? – No. | – 洋葱圈? – 不是 |
| [14:29] | – Seth rogen? – No! | – 塞斯·罗根? – 也不是 |
| [14:31] | You, Steve. I don’t like you anymore. | 是你 Steve 我现在不喜欢你了 |
| [14:34] | Denzel, you may have gotten your short-term memory back, | Denzel 你的短时记忆可能恢复了 |
| [14:38] | But you forgot who you were. | 但你忘了自己是谁 |
| [14:40] | Now if you’ll excuse me, | 请容我失陪 |
| [14:41] | I have to go fist Hamburglar for a Shamrock shake. | 我要去帮”汉堡神偷拳”交换三叶草奶昔了 |
| [14:45] | Hurry up, Woody. I can’t hold you much longer. | 快点 Woody 我快撑不住你了 |
| [14:47] | Give me a minute. It’s hard to take a horizontal shit. | 再坚持一会儿 横着拉屎有难度好吧 |
| [14:50] | There, it’s out. Put the flag up. | 好了 拉出来了 把小旗子升起来 |
| [14:52] | Oh, shit. Hide. | 我擦 快躲 |
| [14:55] | What the hell is she doing? | 她这是在搞毛? |
| [14:57] | Oh, my god. | 我勒个去 |
| [14:58] | She is obsessed with you. | 她对你这么着迷啊 |
| [15:00] | It all makes sense now. | 这样我就懂了 |
| [15:02] | That’s why she’s been treating me like shit. | 爱之越深 痛之越切 |
| [15:04] | This is great. We can have our lives back. | 太好了 我们可以夺回以前的生活了 |
| [15:07] | You just need to ram her. | 你只要把她上了 |
| [15:08] | Ram her hard. Ram her long. Ram her deep. | 搞得爽一点 久一点 深一点 |
| [15:11] | Ew, no way. She’s disgusting. | 没门 她太恶心了 |
| [15:14] | There y’all are. Now come on home. | 你们在这儿啊 赶紧回家 |
| [15:16] | I need you to hose down Beulah. | 帮我给Beulah穿上情趣内衣 |
| [15:17] | Her folds get real cheesy after a good screwing. | 她兴致上来后滑溜溜的 |
| [15:20] | Okay, I’ll ram her. | 好吧 我去上她 |
| [15:21] | Ram her hard, ram her long, ram her deep. | 搞爽 搞久 搞深 |
| [15:25] | Oh, no. | 不 |
| [15:26] | Here comes the Secretary. | 秘书长来了 |
| [15:27] | She’s catching up with the car. | 她追上来了 |
| [15:29] | She’s like Terminator 2! | 简直《终结者2》再现 |
| [15:31] | Oh, crap, we’re dead. | 该死 我们完蛋了 |
| [15:33] | Just act straight, Connie. | 正常一点就行 Connie |
| [15:35] | I’m straight. I love penis. | 我很正常 我喜欢鸡鸡 |
| [15:37] | What? This is about your drug tests. | 啊? 我是来说药检结果的 |
| [15:40] | You passed. | 你们通过了 |
| [15:41] | – We did? – How’s that possible? | – 通过了? – 怎么可能? |
| [15:43] | You took it yesterday, remember? | 你们昨天刚做完啊 记得吗? |
| [15:45] | That’s right. | 这就对了 |
| [15:46] | We must have been so high that we forgot. | 咱们肯定是嗨得一逼 给忘了 |
| [15:51] | What did you say? | 你刚说啥? |
| [15:53] | She knows! | 她知道了 |
| [16:00] | I can’t stand Steve’s silly ass. | 真受不Steve这个傻缺 |
| [16:02] | He doesn’t know anything about work ethic. | 他一点也不懂得职业道德 |
| [16:07] | Hello, Denzel. | 你好啊 Denzel |
| [16:09] | What the hell are you? | 你特么是谁? |
| [16:10] | You don’t remember me? I’m your childhood friend. | 不记得我了吗? 我是你童年时的小伙伴啊 |
| [16:13] | Reefer Sutherland? | 小叶萨瑟兰? |
| [16:15] | That’s right. | 对了 |
| [16:16] | I’m here to stop you from losing your best friend Steve, | 我是来阻止你失去最好的朋友Steve的 |
| [16:20] | because you’re all uptight and kind of a dick. | 因为你暴躁得都有些混球了 |
| [16:22] | Well, what can I do to save our friendship? | 那我怎么做才能挽救我们的友谊? |
| [16:24] | Smoke me, Denzel. Smoke me. | 抽点吧 Denzel 抽点吧 |
| [16:27] | No, I won’t do it. | 不 我可不抽了 |
| [16:29] | I’m making something of my life. | 我这辈子才算混出点头目 |
| [16:30] | I’m going to show you what life will be like if you never smoke again. | 那我给你展示一下你不抽之后的生活咯 |
| [16:35] | Abraca-dopey. | 麻麻变 |
| [16:37] | Oh, look. That’s my old drug dealer. | 看啊 那是我以前的毒贩 |
| [16:39] | I’m sorry. I lost my best client, Denzel. | 对不起 我失去了最大的主顾Denzel |
| [16:42] | There’ll be no operation for Whiny Tim. | 牢骚仔的手术看来是做不成了 |
| [16:44] | But, dad! | 但 爹啊 |
| [16:47] | Shut your whiny ass up! | 别特么牢骚了 |
| [16:48] | Hocus smoke-us. | 麻麻抽 |
| [16:51] | Without you as a friend, Steve hit rock bottom. | 失去了你这个朋友 Steve走向了人生最低谷 |
| [16:55] | Oh, my god. Steve’s a homeless bum? | 天啊 Steve成了流浪汉? |
| [16:58] | No. He blows homeless bums. | 不 他给流浪汉口活 |
| [17:01] | – Now will you be my friend? – No. | – 现在能做我的朋友了吗? – 闭嘴 |
| [17:04] | That’s terrible. But what happens to me, Reefer? | 太操蛋了 但我怎么样了 小叶? |
| [17:06] | Without weed, you were a workaholic overachiever. | 不飞叶子之后 你成了卓尔不凡的工作狂 |
| [17:09] | You become the first all-black president. | 成了第一位纯黑人总统 |
| [17:13] | Presto-weedo. | 麻麻走你 |
| [17:15] | Hell, yeah! That’s awesome! | 真特么爽 太棒了 |
| [17:17] | Wait a minute. Why am I blind? | 等等 我怎么瞎了? |
| [17:18] | Glaucoma. | 青光眼 |
| [17:20] | You made marijuana possession a capital offense. | 你把”持有大麻”定成了死罪 |
| [17:23] | – Who’s that? – Whiny Tim. | – 这货谁? – 牢骚仔 |
| [17:25] | Why’d you have to ruin my childhood? | 你为什么要毁我的童年? |
| [17:28] | Now I have to kill you. | 这回我要杀了你 |
| [17:31] | Run, blind president me! | 跑啊 我个瞎子总统 |
| [17:40] | Steve, warm up that macrib | Steve 把麦香排给我热了 |
| [17:42] | And paint some eyeballs on your titties. | 咪咪上画好眼睛过来 |
| [17:44] | I’m back, bitch! | 我回来了 贱人 |
| [17:46] | – Be right there, buddy. – No. | – 马上就来 伙计 – 闭嘴 |
| [17:51] | Johnson, what the hell are you doing? | Johnson 你特么想干啥? |
| [17:54] | I know your secret. | 哥知道你的小秘密 |
| [17:56] | I saw your little love shrine to me. | 哥看见你供我的爱情小神龛了 |
| [17:59] | I’m here to give you what you want: Johnson’s Johnson. | 哥带着宝贝来满足你了: Johnson的二弟 |
| [18:02] | You’re a very clever man, Woody. | 你很聪明啊 Woody |
| [18:04] | That’s exactly what I want. | 这正是我想要的 |
| [18:06] | Man, it is good to be back in the upper middle class. | 天 重回上层中产阶级感觉好极了 |
| [18:10] | Where’s my controller? | 手柄呢? |
| [18:13] | Holy shit. | 我去勒 |
| [18:15] | There it is. | 在这儿呢 |
| [18:19] | Ooh, kinky. Daddy like. | 变态玩法 哥喜欢 |
| [18:21] | Woody, you think you know my secret. | Woody 你以为你知道了我的秘密 |
| [18:23] | But there’s one gaping hole you missed. | 但你没看到我有一个缺陷 |
| [18:27] | What the hell is that? | 这特么啥玩意儿? |
| [18:28] | You don’t like it? | 你不喜欢吗? |
| [18:31] | No. It looks like someone spilled a can of ravioli. | 不 就好像有人打翻了一罐番茄意式饺 |
| [18:33] | Okay. I– | 够了 我… |
| [18:35] | It looks like the Elephant Man after a pie-eating contest. | 又像刚参加完馅饼大胃王比赛的象人 |
| [18:38] | You done? | 说完没? |
| [18:40] | No. It looks like a bangladeshi street vendor flipped over his food cart! | 没 还像孟加拉的街头小贩打翻了他的食品摊 |
| [18:43] | Enough. | 够了 |
| [18:44] | This is your handiwork. | 这都是你的杰作 |
| [18:46] | What the hell are you talking about? | 你特么瞎说什么啊? |
| [18:48] | You don’t remember your “brother”? | 忘了你的”兄弟”了嘛? |
| [18:51] | Oh, my god. | 天啊 |
| [18:52] | Private Jackubowski? | 列兵Jackubowski? |
| [18:53] | That’s right, Woody. | 正是 Woody |
| [18:55] | After you threw me on that grenade and blew my dick off, | 你把我丢在手雷上 炸掉我命根子之后 |
| [18:58] | It was less humiliating to live as a woman. | 做女人反而会不那么丢脸 |
| [19:01] | The thought of revenge was the only thing that kept me from blowing my brains out. | 唯一阻止了我饮弹自尽的念头就是复仇 |
| [19:05] | I’ve been waiting a long time for this. | 我等这一刻很久了 |
| [19:08] | Are you going to kill me? | 你要杀了我吗? |
| [19:09] | That’s much too quick and easy. | 这么简单轻松就太便宜你了 |
| [19:11] | An eye for an eye. | 我要以牙还牙 |
| [19:12] | A dong for a dong. | 以鸡还鸡 |
| [19:16] | Not the dong! Not the dong! Not the dong! | 别碰我命根子 别碰我命根子 别碰我命根子 |
| [19:20] | Yeah, Woody. You get that job back. | 这就对了 Woody 工作没得跑了 |
| [19:25] | I’ve taken your job, | 我夺走了你的工作 |
| [19:26] | Your house, your dignity. | 你的房子 你的自尊 |
| [19:28] | Now it’s time for the final piece. | 现在 我来补上最后一刀 |
| [19:31] | You took my manhood. | 你夺了我的男儿身 |
| [19:33] | Now I’m taking yours. | 现在我要夺走你的 |
| [19:36] | No! | 不 |
| [19:37] | Remember the day we got those? | 还记得我们纹上这个的时候吗? |
| [19:39] | We were brothers, Jackubowski, and I’m sorry I let you down. | 我们是兄弟 Jackubowski 对不起我让你失望了 |
| [19:43] | I know I deserve this. Just–just get it over with. | 我知道全都是我活该 你就… 就快动手吧 |
| [19:50] | As much as I hate you, I’m still a Red Skull. | 就算再恨你 我也还是个红骷髅战士 |
| [19:54] | I took a vow. | 我发过誓 |
| [19:55] | Respect and protect. | 肝胆相照 |
| [19:57] | You know something, Jackubowski? | 你要知道 Jackubowski |
| [19:59] | Even without your hose and clankers, you’re a better man than I am. | 就算失去了丁丁和蛋蛋 你照样比我爷们和霸气 |
| [20:02] | What I did to you was wrong. | 千不该万不该对你做那样的事 |
| [20:04] | I’d do anything to make it up to you. | 我愿意做任何事来补偿你 |
| [20:06] | Well, I haven’t had sex since the incident. | 好啊 自从出了事我一直没过性生活 |
| [20:10] | Wait, you’re serious? | 等下 你认真的吗? |
| [20:11] | That’s not even a real vagina. | 你那个都不是正经阴道 |
| [20:14] | Okay, it ain’t bad. | 好吧 感觉还凑合 |
| [20:17] | I’m glad our plan worked. | 真高兴咱们的计划奏效了 |
| [20:18] | I don’t want to talk about it. | 我不想再谈这事了 |
| [20:21] | What the hell happened to you two? | 你们俩怎么了? |
| [20:23] | Don’t ask. | 别问了 |
| [20:24] | We’ve had a rough couple of days. | 我们这几天过得不怎么样 |
| [20:26] | We’re never getting high again. | 我们再也不沾毒品了 |
| [20:29] | Oh, there’s my weed water. | 那是我的叶子水 |
| [20:32] | Well, I’ve learned a lesson, | 我反正学到教训了 |
| [20:34] | To respect and protect my staff. | 那就是与我的同僚肝胆相照 |
| [20:37] | You left the top off the Cool Whip, asshole! | 你没盖上奶油的盖 混球 |
| [20:47] | Steve, you a funny mother[bleep]. | Steve 你特么逗比哭了 |