| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | I can’t believe tomorrow’s the big day. | 真不敢相信明天就迎来大日子了 |
| [00:06] | Our country is finally putting a man on Mars. | 咱们国家终于把人送上火星了 |
| [00:09] | What do you think is up there, Denzel? | 你觉得那上面会有啥 Denzel? |
| [00:11] | Hot martian bitches with four sets of green titties. | 长着四对绿色奶子的火星婊吧 |
| [00:13] | That’s really profound, Denzel. | 你知识真渊博 Denzel |
| [00:15] | I know. Titty [Bleep] that bitch is like a full-time job. | 我知道 跟那种婊子乳交是我全职工作呢 |
| [00:19] | – What about the rest of space? – Mm, stars and shit. | – 那之外的太空呢? – 星星之类的吧 |
| [00:22] | – How many do you think there are? – More than you can count, Steve. | – 你觉得有多少颗嘞? – 反正你数不过来 Steve |
| [00:25] | Wow. 92. | 哇 92颗 |
| [00:28] | You are a stupid mother[Bleep]. | 你丫就一操蛋蠢逼 |
| [00:30] | Yeah. | 是哇 |
| [00:31] | Just one more question… | 再问一个问题哈 |
| [00:33] | How do we get the car out of the planetarium? | 咱们怎么把车开出天文馆? |
| [00:37] | Same way we got this mother[Bleep] in. | 怎么进来怎么出呗 |
| [00:54] | Rangers, listen up. Today is a historic day. | 林警们 听好了 今天是具有历史意义的一天 |
| [01:00] | The world watches as man prepares to land on Mars. | 在世界瞩目之下 人类即将登陆火星 |
| [01:04] | Who cares? | 管你啊? |
| [01:05] | It’s the grand opening of the Hazelhurst Mega Mall! | 褐丘超级大卖场盛大开业 |
| [01:08] | 500 stores, 200 different ones! | 500家门店 200款琳琅商品 |
| [01:11] | A gigantic arcade! | 超大型游艺厅 |
| [01:12] | The world’s largest food court | 全球最大美食中心 |
| [01:14] | conveniently located right next to the Lane Bryant superstore! | 紧邻莱恩·布赖恩特超级商店 方便快捷 |
| [01:16] | Oh, my God, it’s got everything I want and new fat people to make fun of. | 我天呐 我想要的都在里面 还有用来逗乐的胖子呢 |
| [01:20] | I’ll be in the car. | 我上车等你 |
| [01:21] | Oh, cubbsie wubbs, everyone knows bears aren’t allowed in Malls. | 哎呦 小毛球 大家都知道熊熊可不能进商场哦 |
| [01:25] | It’s like how Filipinos aren’t allowed in libraries. | 跟菲律宾人不许进图书馆一个道理 |
| [01:27] | – What? – We all know they eat paper! | – 啥? – 那帮人吃纸的好吧 |
| [01:32] | This new Stephen King novel is terrible! | 史蒂芬·金新出的小说操蛋透了 |
| [01:37] | As I was saying, I’m proud to announce Brickleberry | 接着我前面说的 本园长骄傲地宣布脆莓公园 |
| [01:39] | will be playing an important role in the upcoming Mars landing. | 将在即将到来的火星登陆计划中扮演重要角色 |
| [01:45] | I wish I was going up there. I’d get some green pussy. You know that. | 好希望上去啊 我得去找找火星绿婊 你懂的 |
| [01:49] | You see, Mount Brickleberry is the highest point in the world. | 诸位知道 脆莓山是全球至高点 |
| [01:53] | – That doesn’t sound right. – If it’s on the brochure, it’s true! | – 听着不对劲吧 – 写上手册就是对的 |
| [01:55] | 快来围观全球制高点 脆莓山 咋地吧 珠穆朗玛 | |
| [01:56] | Anyway, NASA is gonna be using our park | 不管怎样 航天局要把咱们公园… |
| [01:59] | as a key transmission point for mission control. | 作为地面指挥中心的一个重要传送点 |
| [02:02] | And that means them Indians at the base of Mount Brickleberry have gotta go. | 也就是说 聚居在脆莓山脚下的印第安人必须滚 |
| [02:05] | But the brochure says the base of the Mountain is their ancestral land. | 但手册上也说山脚是他们祖上传下的土地 |
| [02:09] | Yeah, the brochure also says we have the highest Mountain in the world. | 是啊 手册还说我们这儿有世界最高峰呢 |
| [02:11] | – What are you, [Bleep] Stupid? – You watch your [Bleep] Mouth! | – 你怎么 傻X么? – 你丫嘴放干净点 |
| [02:14] | I’ll rip your goddamn head off, mother[Bleep]! | 我尼玛把你脑袋拧下来 臭傻X |
| [02:17] | Uh, sorry, Mr. Johnson. | 抱歉 Johnson先生 |
| [02:19] | Yeah, I’m stupid. | 是 我是傻X |
| [02:20] | Hey, Steve, go tell them savages they gotta move ’em heap quick. | 嘿 Steve 去告诉那帮野人 让丫赶紧撩屁股滚人 |
| [02:24] | You got it, Sir. | 包我身上 老大 |
| [02:25] | Woody, forest resettlement of Native Americans is just wrong. | Woody 迁置森林中的原住民 这事儿可不对啊 |
| [02:29] | Don’t question the U.S. government, Missy! They know what they’re doing. | 不许质疑美国政府 小姐 人家知道自己在干嘛 |
| [02:32] | They did a bang-up job planning 9-11 | 人家策划911策划得妥妥的 |
| [02:34] | controlling our minds with fluoride in the water, and turning Anderson Cooper gay! | 拿氟化水控制草民脑子 还把Anderson Cooper整成基佬了 |
| [02:37] | Anybody ever say you’re a bit of a conspiracy theorist? | 有人说过你有点阴谋论么? |
| [02:40] | Ah, don’t be ridiculous. | 快别扯淡了 |
| [02:41] | How about that stunt you pulled at your nephew’s christening? | 那你在你侄子洗礼仪式上整的那套怎么解释? |
| [02:44] | I know there’s a microphone in here somewhere. | 我知道这里头藏着麦克风呢 |
| [02:46] | I know you can hear me, you Soviet bastards. | 我知道你们丫能听见 苏维埃混账 |
| [02:49] | That’s it… I’m going in after it! | 够了 我要下手掏了 |
| [02:53] | Woody doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I can go to the Mall if I want to. | Woody说的都是一堆屁话 我想进商场 我就必须进 |
| [02:57] | – Hold it right there, buddy. – Who are you supposed to be? | – 站那儿别动 伙计 – 你谁啊你? |
| [02:59] | I’m Todd Rollin, head of Mall Security. | 我是Todd Rollin 商场安全主管 |
| [03:01] | Wow! Head of Mall Security? | 哇去 商场安全主管诶? |
| [03:04] | Minimum wage and you get to ride one of those cool Segways? | 工资超低 还骑得起这种酷感赛格威电动车是吧? |
| [03:07] | You don’t sound impressed. | 你听起来瞧不起是么 |
| [03:08] | I’m impressed by the way you manage to sweat on something with wheels. | 我蛮瞧得起你没压垮带轮子的东西的 |
| [03:11] | Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going into the Mall. | 我先失陪 进商场了 |
| [03:13] | Oh, no, you’re not. Everyone knows bears aren’t allowed in Malls. | 不行 真不行 大家都知道商场禁止熊入内 |
| [03:16] | It’s like how Malaysians aren’t allowed in shoe stores. | 跟马来西亚人禁入鞋店一个道理 |
| [03:19] | – What? – We all know they eat shoelaces. | – 啥? – 他们吃鞋带的好吧 |
| [03:24] | There is some really obscure racism in this town. | 这小破地儿的种族主义真够有内涵的 |
| [03:29] | 脆莓自然保护区 及垃圾场 | |
| [03:33] | I am so sorry to have to tell you this, but… | 很遗憾要告知你们这件事 但… |
| [03:37] | Wait, tribal chairman? | 等下 部落长老? |
| [03:38] | You’re the Indian Chief, right? | 你说印第安首领 是吧? |
| [03:41] | That’s a stereotypical thing to assume. | 那么说也太有成见了 |
| [03:43] | – How? – How. | – 怎么? – 你好 |
| [03:44] | – Are you here to push us off our land? – No, no, no. | – 你来是想赶我们离开么? – 没没没 |
| [03:48] | I’m not. I’m here to buy your land. | 不是啦 我是来买地的 |
| [03:50] | – $24 in beads sound good? – We’ll take it! | – 24刀的珠子好不? – 就这么定了 |
| [03:54] | Not so fast, Not-so-fast. | 先别急 先别急 |
| [03:55] | We said we would not make this mistake again. | 我们说过不会再犯这样的错误了 |
| [03:59] | – You throw in closing costs. – All right. You drive a hard bargain. | – 你给个成交价 – 行呐 你还真是会抬价啊 |
| [04:03] | – $26 in beads. – Nice doing business with you. | – 26刀的珠子 – 祝我们合作愉快 |
| [04:06] | You guys are gonna enjoy those. I tried them out myself. | 你们必须会喜欢的 我可是亲自做出来的 |
| [04:10] | What do you mean? | 你什么意思? |
| [04:11] | They’re anal beads. | 那是后庭拉珠啊 |
| [04:23] | Salutations. | 各位好 |
| [04:25] | I am mission control Director extraordinaire, Dr. Kurt Thoreau, PHD. | 我是地面控制中心的非凡Kurt Thoreau博士 PHD |
| [04:30] | Hi there. Head ranger excelente Woody Johnson, B-I-G-D-I-C-K. | 你好 我是林警主管叼人Woody Johnson 弟-弟-大 |
| [04:35] | And who is this fetching creature? | 这个迷人之物是谁? |
| [04:38] | Did you say fetching or felching? | 你说的是迷人还是吸精? |
| [04:40] | Uh, I’m Ethel. | 我是Ethel |
| [04:41] | Do men with exceptional beards make your fish flaps foamy? | 长超级大胡子的男人会不会让你的小蕊蕊更性奋呢? |
| [04:44] | What? | 什么? |
| [04:46] | Show me to my office at once. | 赶紧带我去我办公室 |
| [04:48] | Well, the only office in there is mine. | 这里唯一的办公室是我的 |
| [04:50] | Listen here, nas-hole… | 听好了 死贱人… |
| [04:52] | I don’t know who you think you are… Right this way. | 我不知道你以为你是谁… 这边儿请 |
| [05:01] | Steve, thank you for joining us for our farewell powwow. | Steve 谢谢你参加我们的告别仪式 |
| [05:04] | No problem. I hope you like the beads. | 不必客气 希望你能喜欢那些拉珠 |
| [05:07] | Oh, yes, wife bury them where sun don’t shine. | 是啊 我老婆把它们埋在了太阳照不到的地方 |
| [05:11] | In her ass. | 她的屁股里 |
| [05:12] | This was a lot of fun. Thanks for hanging out with me all night. | 今晚太尽兴了 你们能陪我一晚实在太好了 |
| [05:15] | Bros before navajos. | 纳瓦霍人的兄弟啊 |
| [05:17] | Our medicine man offers you a bowl of Hikuri, the food of the Gods. | 请尝尝我们药师给你特制的圆轮草汁 此乃上帝之赠饮 |
| [05:20] | Some say it lets you see the heavens. | 有人说它能让你看到天堂 |
| [05:23] | Now just take a small sip. It’s very powerful. | 现在 只要喝上一小口 它后劲很足 |
| [05:26] | Ah. What? | 你说什么? |
| [05:27] | You just had 2,000 hits of pure peyote. | 你刚喝掉了2000单位的纯仙人掌汁 |
| [05:30] | It’s not affecting me, ninja T-Rex. | 这影响不到我的 忍者霸王龙 |
| [05:45] | I hate white people. | 白人真让我不爽 |
| [05:49] | ♪ Oh, out with the injuns, in with the spacemen. ♪ | ♪ 噢 印第安全滚蛋 太空人住进来♪ |
| [05:52] | ♪ NASA’s the best, gonna get us some press.♪ | ♪ 航天局真碉堡 让我们上头条♪ |
| [05:54] | You should be ashamed of yourself… | 你真是无廉无耻… |
| [05:56] | Pushing the Native Americans off their land just for a little publicity. | 为了那么点宣传 逼着那些原住民背井离乡 |
| [05:59] | Oh, calm down. | 淡定点吧 |
| [06:00] | The law of reparations says | 赔偿法上写得很清楚 |
| [06:02] | they can claim any land in their former territory as their own. | 他们可以将任何曾为他们居住地的土地征为己用 |
| [06:06] | Those redskins can basically live anywhere they want. | 换句话说 这些红皮佬想住哪就住哪 |
| [06:08] | Anywhere they want? | 想住哪就住哪? |
| [06:13] | – Who are you? – I’m Malloy, talking bear. | – 你是谁? – 我是Malloy 会说话的熊 |
| [06:16] | I knew his father, Shits-in-woods. | 我认得他爹 林中便 |
| [06:18] | Listen, my people. | 听着 我的人民 |
| [06:19] | It is time to stop being pushed around by the white man | 是时候结束白人对我们的摆布 |
| [06:23] | and take the sacred land that is rightfully ours. | 并夺回本该属于我们的圣土了 |
| [06:27] | What sacred land? | 什么圣土? |
| [06:32] | We bring talking bear more wampum. | 我们给会说话的熊带来更多战利品 |
| [06:35] | Orange Julius and bounty of cinnabon. | 橘子汁和大份的奶油蛋糕 |
| [06:37] | Don’t worry. I’ll use every part of the cinnabon. | 别担心 奶油蛋糕我会吃的一点不剩 |
| [06:41] | I hope you paid the white man with much suffering. | 希望你们用切肤之痛好好回报了那些白人 |
| [06:43] | No, we paid with discover card. | 不 我们用发现卡回报了他们的慷慨 |
| [06:45] | What? What kind of Indians are you? | 什么? 你们是哪门子印第安人? |
| [06:47] | Not the good kind. | 反正不是好人 |
| [06:50] | Okay, I’m leaving now. | 得啦 我不碍你们眼 |
| [06:52] | This is our land. If we want something from the white man, we take it. | 这是我们的领土 如果我们想从白人手里得到什么 我们就夺走它 |
| [06:56] | After we ask nicely? | 等我们好好和他们谈完后? |
| [06:58] | No! The white man is our enemy! | 不 白人是我们的敌人 |
| [07:00] | He stole our land, he murdered our people. | 他们夺走我们的土地 杀戮我们的人民 |
| [07:02] | And he told us we can’t come into their Malls! | 还不让我们进他们开的超市 |
| [07:05] | Just because we’re bears! | 仅仅因为我们是熊 |
| [07:07] | I don’t remember that last part. | 最后一句我怎么不记得 |
| [07:09] | Just go with it. He’s on a roll. | 别管了 他正在兴头上呢 |
| [07:11] | It’s time someone taught you guys how to act like real Indians. | 是时候让我告诉你们什么才是真正的印第安人 |
| [07:32] | Get ready for magic time, people. | 准备迎接奇迹降临之刻吧 诸位 |
| [07:34] | I’ll actually be guiding the astronauts down as we speak. | 就在说话这档 我正在引导宇航员们着陆 |
| [07:38] | Mission control, this is Apollo. | 指挥部 这里是阿波罗号 |
| [07:40] | We are go for landing in four… | 着陆正在进行 四… |
| [07:43] | Three… | 三… |
| [07:44] | Two… | 二… |
| [07:47] | One. | 一… |
| [07:48] | Extend pods. And… | 放下起落架 然后… |
| [07:50] | Magic! | 奇迹发生了 |
| [07:52] | And we have touchdown. | 着陆顺利完成 |
| [07:53] | We have landed on Mars. | 我们在火星着陆了 |
| [07:56] | Kurt Thoreau, everyone. | 大功告成了 诸位 |
| [07:58] | How is Steve missing this? | Steve怎么没来看? |
| [07:59] | Where the hell is he? | 他死哪去了? |
| [08:01] | Get away from me, octopus mime! | 离我远点 章鱼怪 |
| [08:23] | I think you’ll like the first words man will say on Mars. | 我想你们会喜欢人类第一句在火星上说的话的 |
| [08:26] | I composed them myself. | 这句话是我编的 |
| [08:28] | That was one small step for man and one giant… shit! | 这是我个人的一小步 却是全人类的一大… 擦啊 |
| [08:38] | We can easily reattach these as long as we’re very, very careful with them… | 要把这些手指接回去并非难事 只要我们非常非常小心地处理… |
| [08:43] | So that’s why we shouldn’t put those in here. | 这就是为什么手术室里不能装风扇 |
| [08:47] | Wait a minute. That fat alien looks like Steve. | 等等 那个胖外星人看起来像是Steve |
| [08:50] | That fat alien is Steve. | 那个胖外星人就是Steve |
| [08:52] | How’d Steve get to Mars? | Steve怎么去火星的? |
| [08:54] | Steve isn’t on Mars. | Steve根本就不在火星上 |
| [08:55] | That means the Mars landing… | 这就是说登陆火星… |
| [08:57] | It’s all a goddamn fake! | 实际上是一桩忽悠 |
| [09:01] | I knew it! | 我就知道 |
| [09:02] | We’re ass-deep in the biggest conspiracy ever! | 我们现在正在历史上最大的忽悠之中呢 |
| [09:05] | Guards, seize them! | 保安们 控制住他们 |
| [09:07] | Oh, what? | 什么嘛 |
| [09:08] | You actors gonna hold us hostage with a bunch of phony prop guns? | 你们这些演员拿着几把玩具枪就想把我们给扣下? |
| [09:14] | Wow, that’s realistic. | 靠 这还原度真高 |
| [09:17] | Fake brains too. | 脑子也是假的吧 |
| [09:26] | Uh, mission control, what the hell do we do? | 呃 指挥中心 我们该怎么办? |
| [09:29] | You’re actors. Improvise. | 你们是演员 即兴发挥吧 |
| [09:32] | Holy moly, it’s a genuine… | 我勒个去 这是个有血有肉的… |
| [09:35] | Alien. | 外星人 |
| [09:39] | Oh, I can’t breathe… | 我没法呼吸了… |
| [09:41] | In this space air. | 这大气里没氧气 |
| [09:43] | I’ll save you. | 我来救你 |
| [09:47] | Well, it’s not what I planned. | 看来出了点意外 |
| [09:49] | It’s better. I didn’t just fake a Mars landing. | 就顺水推舟吧 我不仅演了一出着陆火星的大戏 |
| [09:52] | I faked a martian. | 还找了个”火星人” |
| [09:54] | You see? I’m not just Kurt Thoreau, rocket scientist. | 你看 我不仅是Kurt Thoreau 火箭科学家 |
| [09:57] | I’m also Kurt Thoreau, master showman and Director! | 我同时也是Kurt Thoreau 演技和导演大师 |
| [10:02] | I’ll bet the ratings will top our fake lunar landing in ’69. | 我敢肯定收视率绝对会高过69年的假登月 |
| [10:06] | So you’re saying that Neil Armstrong… | 你的意思是尼尔·阿姆斯特朗… |
| [10:08] | Was an alcoholic out of work birthday clown before I discovered him. | 我发现他时 他就是个嗜酒如命又丢了工作的派对小丑 |
| [10:12] | So you’re saying all government employees are actors? | 那你的意思是 政府职员全是演员? |
| [10:14] | I’m a government employee. Am I an actor? Are there cameras here? | 我也属于政府职员 咱也当演员啦? 这里有摄像头? |
| [10:18] | Are people watching me right now? | 此刻是不是有观众在看我? |
| [10:20] | Who am I kidding? 10:30 on Tuesday night. | 我唬谁呢 周二晚间十点半 |
| [10:23] | Nobody’s watching this shit. | 谁会看这垃圾 |
| [10:25] | Only NASA knows. No one else. | 除了航天局 其他人都不知道 |
| [10:27] | Not even the President. | 连总统都不知道 |
| [10:30] | After this mission is over, I’m throwing you all in space prison. | 这项任务完成后 我会把你们都送进太空监狱 |
| [10:33] | Yay! Is that like space camp? | 好哎 是不是就像太空营一样? |
| [10:35] | Yes, but with just a tad more rape. | 是的 就是被强奸的机率稍高一些 |
| [10:41] | The Hazelhurst Mega Mall is currently under | 褐丘超级大卖场正遭到… |
| [10:44] | siege by a group of Indians and a small bear. | 一群印第安人和一只小熊的围攻 |
| [10:46] | But who gives a shit about that? We’ve got martian updates. | 谁特么在乎这破事 接下来是关于火星人的最新报道 |
| [10:49] | In a shocking move, for purposes of research, Dr. Kurt Thoreau | Kurt Thoreau博士出于研究目的 出乎意料地… |
| [10:52] | has ordered the astronauts to bring the martian back to our planet. | 命令宇航员将火星人带返地球 |
| [10:56] | Roger, mission control. | 收到 地面指挥中心 |
| [10:57] | We have subdued the martian with, uh, alien-holding space rope. | 我们用 呃 外星捆绑绳制服了火星人 |
| [11:08] | I hope they make it back okay. | 我希望他们能安全返航 |
| [11:10] | Hey, guard, can you shoot this fat, dumb bitch? | 嘿 警卫 一枪结果了这个肥脑残好不? |
| [11:15] | The capsule will be touching down any minute now. | 太空舱很快就会着陆啦 |
| [11:17] | But be warned… when it enters the atmosphere, it will make a brilliant flash! | 先提醒大家 当它进入大气层的时候 会制造一道眩目的闪光 |
| [11:22] | Everyone, close your eyes or it will instantly blind you. | 大家全都闭上眼睛 要不会被闪瞎的 |
| [11:33] | Ker-splash! It’s here. | 喀-哗啦 成功着陆了 |
| [11:35] | You can open your eyes. | 你们可以睁眼啦 |
| [11:37] | Smiles, everyone. | 大家保持微笑哦 |
| [11:39] | We’re about to greet a friend from another world. | 我们要迎接异世界的客人啦 |
| [11:47] | Wh… where am I? | 我… 我这是在哪? |
| [11:49] | Why am I covered in mud and naked? | 为啥我裸着 身上还敷满泥? |
| [11:52] | This hasn’t happened since space camp. | 自打太空营以后 这种事就没发生过了 |
| [11:54] | Uh, we must get him into isolation before our… | 我们得立即对他进行隔离 |
| [11:57] | Earth atmosphere of .7 gives him acute failure of… | 因为0.7的地球大气会造成他急性衰竭… |
| [12:02] | He’s going to eat our dicks! | 他会吃掉我们的JJ |
| [12:06] | ♪ Bring it on. ♪ | ♪ 放马过来 ♪ |
| [12:10] | Marshmallow peeps and Cadbury egg now property of Chief talking bear. | 棉花软糖和巧克力疙瘩现在都属于”说话熊”酋长了 |
| [12:14] | Hey, those are for the kids. | 嘿 那是给孩子们的 |
| [12:20] | You were right. | 你说得对 |
| [12:21] | Taking land and killing white man is fun. | 劫掠土地和杀死白人的确很好玩 |
| [12:24] | You know, you guys have come a long way. | 你们花了这么多年才理解真不容易 |
| [12:26] | We should have embraced our stereotype many years ago. | 我们早该在好多年前就接受这种人物设定啦 |
| [12:30] | Uh, many moons ago. | 呃 好多月历前 |
| [12:32] | Listen, you. This is a mall. You can’t live here. | 你们听着 这里是购物中心 你们不能住在这儿 |
| [12:35] | I’m giving you one hour to vacate and get rid of all the horseshit. | 我给你们一小时离开 少在这里闹犊子 |
| [12:38] | I can’t control what Panda Express puts on its menu. | 熊猫快餐的菜单又不归我管 |
| [12:40] | Get out now! | 快给我滚 |
| [12:42] | You have dishonored my people long enough, Todd. | 你骑在我们头上作威作福太久了 Todd |
| [12:45] | We will fight for our land! | 我们要为自己的土地抗争到底 |
| [12:51] | Can someone please tell me where the Pepperidge Farm kiosk is? | 有人能告诉我”非凡农庄”的销售点在哪儿吗? |
| [12:57] | I smell pennies all of a sudden. | 突然间我好像闻到了硬币的味道 |
| [13:03] | So this is my secret government base. | 这里就是我的秘密政府基地啦 |
| [13:06] | Any drips from the tap? | 是不是听完就湿了? |
| [13:09] | Just tell me what you plan to do with Steve. | 告诉我你要拿Steve怎么办就好了 |
| [13:12] | Oh. We won’t hurt him. | 我们不会伤害他的 |
| [13:16] | Why are you doing experiments on him? | 那你们为什么拿他做实验? |
| [13:18] | Hey, I thought you were all actors. | 我还以为你们全是演员呢 |
| [13:20] | Oh, he’s not an actor. He’s one of America’s top scientists. | 里面那个不是演员 他是美国顶级的科学家 |
| [13:23] | Fooled by my magic like everyone else in the country! | 只是像这个国家其他民众一样 受了我魔法的蛊惑而已 |
| [13:26] | – When are you gonna let Steve go? – I’m afraid I can’t do that. | – 你们什么时候放Steve走? – 恐怕做不到 |
| [13:29] | If anyone finds out he’s not a real alien my career will be over. | 如果有人发现他不是真的外星人 我的饭碗就砸了 |
| [13:32] | – I’ll be convicted of fraud. – What do you mean? | – 我会被指控诈骗 – 你啥意思啊? |
| [13:34] | I mean your friend will not leave this base alive. | 我的意思是你朋友不会活着走出这个基地的 |
| [13:37] | Ever! | 永远不会 |
| [13:39] | Now, it’s time for the bowling pin in the anus test. | 现在该进行保龄瓶子插菊花的实验了 |
| [13:43] | ♪ Bring it on. ♪ | ♪ 放马过来 ♪ |
| [13:51] | We’ve got them on the run. | 咱们去抓活的 |
| [13:55] | There they are at the last custard stand! | 他们在那儿 最后那个牛奶蛋糕摊子 |
| [14:13] | I can’t believe they’re doing those painful experiments on Steve. | 真不敢相信他们在Steve身上进行这些惨无人道的实验 |
| [14:16] | Well, after a childhood like his, it’s probably the only way he can climax. | 他童年那么悲惨 恐怕这样才能让他高潮吧 |
| [14:19] | – That’s you, Woody. – Yeah, that… that is me. | – 你在说自己吧 Woody – 对 确…确实是我自己 |
| [14:21] | We can’t let them do this to Steve. We need a plan to rescue him. | Steve不能任由他们这样处置 我们要制定一个救人计划 |
| [14:25] | Thoreau has his eyes on Steve 24/7. | Thoreau可是全天候盯着Steve的 |
| [14:27] | We need to distract him so we can bust Steve out. | 我们要先转移他的注意力 才能把Steve救出来 |
| [14:30] | – But how? – Ethel, you can do it. | – 怎么转移呢? – Ethel 你能行的 |
| [14:32] | How am I supposed to distract him? | 我怎么转移他注意力啊? |
| [14:34] | I’ve got an idea. | 我有办法哒 |
| [14:36] | Three, two… | 三 二 |
| [14:38] | And one. | 一 |
| [14:39] | We have contact. | 接触成功 |
| [14:42] | Do you have to narrate everything? | 你非得每样都旁白出来吗? |
| [14:44] | Affirmative. Rotating thruster 30 degrees. | 必须的 旋转推进器30度 |
| [14:47] | Open the pod bay doors. | 打开舱门 |
| [14:50] | Docking in 59… | 入舱倒计时 59秒… |
| [14:52] | 58… | 58秒… |
| [14:54] | 57… | 57秒… |
| [14:55] | 56. | 56秒… |
| [15:00] | Ugh, I hope what I just did was worth… | 我真心希望我所做的值得… |
| [15:02] | Yahtzee! | 豹子 |
| [15:03] | What the hell are you guys doing? Did you rescue Steve? | 你们特么干嘛呢? Steve救出来没有? |
| [15:05] | What? That was tonight? | 啥? 是今晚来着? |
| [15:07] | Oh, I’m sorry. Guess we got caught up playing… yahtzee! | 真抱歉 看来我们得赶紧玩… 豹子 |
| [15:10] | I’m on a roll! | 点儿太正了 |
| [15:11] | So I just slept with a disgusting asshole douche bag for nothing? | 所以我白白就被一个恶心人的傻X给睡了是么? |
| [15:16] | Isn’t anyone gonna say anything? | 没个人出来说句话么? |
| [15:18] | Uh, well, normally this is where Malloy would jump in with something like… | 通常嘞 这时候Malloy会开口发话 说什么… |
| [15:21] | Yeah, but how’s that different from your typical Tuesday? | 是啦 不过你平时礼拜二不也这么过的么? |
| [15:24] | No, I think it’d be more like, you did it for nothing? | 不啦 我觉得他会说 你白白给人睡了? |
| [15:27] | Usually you get Taco Bell out of it. | 通常你不是能捞着墨西哥煎饼么? |
| [15:28] | Or something like, disgusting asshole? | 或者会说 恶心人的傻X? |
| [15:31] | You mean you finally slept with Connie? | 是说你和Connie睡了么? |
| [15:33] | – Oh, yeah, that’s it. – Slut. | – 没错 会这么说 – 贱人 |
| [15:35] | Oh, yeah, yuk it up. | 行行 笑你们的吧 |
| [15:36] | I just banged a guy who calls his penis the USS enter-thighs. | 我跟一个管自己JJ叫星际联盟大长腿的男人睡了 |
| [15:40] | Man, what a loser. Naming his junk after Star Trek. | 靠 好屌丝啊 给他JJ取星际迷航的名字 |
| [15:43] | Ain’t that right, Hung Solo? | 有木有 屌汉? |
| [15:46] | Sorry, Ethel. We can’t get past the guards. | 抱歉 Ethel 我们真闯不过那些守卫 |
| [15:48] | Steve is in real danger here. Kurt can’t hide him forever. | Steve性命攸关 Kurt不可能永远藏得住他 |
| [15:51] | And if he lets him go, NASA will be exposed. | 如果他放他走 航天局就被揭露了 |
| [15:54] | So do you think he’s gonna kill Steve? | 你是说他会为此干掉Steve? |
| [15:55] | I don’t know, but if he does, I bet it’ll be a ratings bonanza. | 我不知道 但如果他真下手 我敢打赌收视率一定爆红 |
| [15:59] | I am sorry to report that the martian has contracted an Earth virus. | 我很遗憾地宣布 火星人染上了地球病毒 |
| [16:03] | And he appears to be… dying! | 他目前已经… 快死了 |
| [16:06] | Dr. Thoreau, can you tell us what disease it is? | Thoreau博士 能告诉我们是什么病么? |
| [16:09] | He’s got whatever made E.T. all white and dried out and gross. | 反正是那种让外星人又苍白又脱水又恶心的病 |
| [16:12] | How much time does the alien have left? | 这个外星人还有多久的活头? |
| [16:14] | Impossible to predict, but… | 很难预测 但是… |
| [16:16] | He’ll definitely be dead before primetime tonight. | 他肯定会在今晚黄金时间之前死掉 |
| [16:20] | Tonight at 9:00, live on PBS! | 今晚九点 PBS直播 |
| [16:22] | Witness history as we show you a real live alien autopsy! | 见证历史时刻 我们为您带来外星人验尸直播 |
| [16:26] | Oh, my God. | 我天呐 |
| [16:27] | Yes, we’ll finally get to see what’s inside a Mexican! | 赞 终于能看到墨西哥人肚子里装的啥了 |
| [16:33] | Okay, so poof, we get in, grab Steve, and then poof, we out. | 好的 所以嘭 咱进去 抓住Steve 然后嘭 咱出去 |
| [16:37] | Does anybody have a plan that doesn’t involve Nightcrawler from the X-Men? | 谁能提个不带《X战警》里蓝魔鬼段子的计划? |
| [16:41] | Or any of the other X-Men? | 或者《X战警》其他段子? |
| [16:44] | We need to get serious. His autopsy’s only a couple of hours away. | 咱认真点成么? 再过几小时他就被验尸了 |
| [16:47] | Yeah, and with, like, an hour for dinner and dessert, that won’t leave us much time. | 是啊 刨去一小时吃晚餐和甜点 咱没多少时间了啊 |
| [16:50] | We’d need an Army to take Thoreau down. | 要战胜Thoreau 咱需要个军队 |
| [16:52] | That’s it! Okay, I’ve got a plan, but we need to get past the guards. | 有了 好的 我有个计划 但我们必须先冲过守卫 |
| [16:56] | We need to bribe them or something so they’ll let us go. | 我们得贿赂贿赂他们 他们才会让我们进吧 |
| [16:59] | What the hell are we gonna bribe a bunch of Hollywood actors with? | 拿什么能贿赂一帮好莱坞演员? |
| [17:02] | I’ve got an idea. | 我有主意哒 |
| [17:05] | Why the hell did I agree to this? | 我尼玛怎么会同意这事儿? |
| [17:11] | And that’s why we need your help. | 所以我们需要你们的帮助 |
| [17:14] | Why would my people help the white man and Denzel? | 为毛我们的人要去帮白人和Denzel? |
| [17:16] | Look, we need an Army to help us rescue Steve. | 听着 我们需要个军队去救Steve |
| [17:19] | If you help us, we’ll give you your land back. | 如果你们帮我 土地我们赔给你们 |
| [17:21] | That sounds like a great idea. | 这主意听起来不错 |
| [17:23] | No! That place was a shithole! | 不 那地方就一垃圾地儿 |
| [17:25] | How could we leave our beautiful land? | 我们怎么能离开这美丽的地方? |
| [17:28] | Our land not so beautiful anymore. | 咱们这地方已经不那么美了 |
| [17:34] | Goddamn [Bleep] Indians! | 你大爷的印第安佬 |
| [17:42] | Yes! It’s still here! | 好棒 还在呢 |
| [17:45] | PBS alien autopsy live is brought to you by Lane Bryant. | PBS外星人验尸直播由莱恩·布赖恩特为您赞助带来 |
| [17:49] | Covering up fat chicks so you don’t have to look at them. | 罩上大胖妹 免得您看着眼烦 |
| [17:52] | Now we don’t know what organs this alien will have. | 我们并不知道这个外星人有着怎样的内脏构造 |
| [17:55] | His chest cavity could be full of facehuggers or candy. | 他的胸腔可能满是抱脸虫或者糖果 |
| [17:58] | Well, let’s find out. | 我们来看看好了 |
| [18:02] | Attention, Earth. You have abducted one of our martian people. | 注意了 地球人 你们诱拐了我们的一位火星人 |
| [18:06] | – We demand his immediate… – Hey, ma, look at your boy! I’m on TV! | – 我们命令火速… – 嘿 老妈 看你儿子 我上电视啦 |
| [18:10] | Hey, yo, I wanna give a shout to my cool friends gang | 嘿哟 我还想跟我酷友帮的伙计们打招呼 |
| [18:12] | my Cousin Kinishia… I love you, baby. | 还有我侄子Kinishia 爱你哦 宝贝儿 |
| [18:14] | Deshawn. Stay your dumb ass in school. | Deshawn 好好给我上学啊 |
| [18:17] | My boy, Burbel. Hey, what’s up, boy? Whatcha doing? | 我儿子Burbel 嘿 咋样了 小子? 好呢吧? |
| [18:19] | Hey, Charles, gimme my tires back, man! | 嘿 Charles 轮胎趁早还我 伙计 |
| [18:21] | Denzel Denzel! | |
| [18:22] | What’s happening? Switch it off. Switch it off! | 怎么回事儿? 给我掐了 快给我掐了 |
| [18:25] | I’m trying, Dr. Thoreau. I can’t. | 我试过了 Thoreau博士 掐不掉啊 |
| [18:27] | It’s like they tapped into our feed. | 他们好像戳穿我们的诡计了 |
| [18:29] | If you do not return our brother safely to our planet | 如果你们不把我们的兄弟安全送回我们的星球 |
| [18:32] | you will face the wrath of our Martian Army. | 你们将会迎战我们愤怒的火星军 |
| [18:37] | And then you will be Jupiter fisted to death by our hideous space monster. | 此后 你们将被我们丑恶的太空怪兽一拳打死成木星人 |
| [18:47] | Trying to beat me at my own game, eh? | 想在我自己的游戏里玩死我是吧? |
| [18:49] | I’ll show them. | 有他们好瞧的 |
| [18:51] | Doctor, operate! | 医生 开始吧 |
| [18:52] | But I don’t want to get Jupiter fisted to death. | 但是我不想被一拳打死成木星人啊 |
| [18:54] | I don’t even know what that is, but my first three guesses are horrible. | 我不懂那是啥意思 但我的头三个猜想都很可怖 |
| [18:57] | Oh, fine. I’ll do it. | 去你的 我来吧 |
| [18:59] | Sir, it’s the President. | 先生 是总统 |
| [19:01] | Hello? Mr. President? | 喂? 总统先生? |
| [19:03] | I understand that you don’t wanna get Jupiter fisted to death, Sir, but… | 我知道你不想被一拳打死成木星人 先生 但是… |
| [19:08] | As you wish, Sir. | 全听你的 先生 |
| [19:10] | That’s a wrap. | 到此为止吧 |
| [19:13] | On behalf of Earth people, I hereby return your space brother. | 代表全地球人 我特此归还你们的太空兄弟 |
| [19:19] | Hey, until further notice, this invasion is over. | 嘿 没另行通知以前 这次入侵结束了 |
| [19:24] | Welcome back, Steve. | 欢迎回家 Steve |
| [19:26] | No! Don’t leave me with these Martians! | 不 别把我丢给这些火星人 |
| [19:28] | Take me back to Earth! | 带我回地球啊 |
| [19:35] | What the [Bleep]? | 搞你妹啊? |
| [19:40] | If you can’t take the reservation to the Mall, take the Mall to the reservation. | 要是没法把保护区搬进商场 就把商场搬进保护区 |
| [19:45] | – How. – What do you mean how? We already did it. | – 你好 – 你好个毛啊? 我们事儿成了 |
| [19:49] | Oh, you’re going away for a long time. | 你这一走可要多年不见咯 |
| [19:51] | You’ll be doing a ten-year production of backside story. | 未来十年好好做你的奸菊大制作吧 |
| [19:56] | Woody Johnson, everybody. | 我是Woody Johnson 大家伙 |
| [19:58] | It was all worth it. | 反正全值了 |
| [19:59] | We almost got better ratings than that Betty White prank show. | 我们收视率比贝蒂·怀特的恶搞剧还高呢 |
| [20:03] | Hey, that’s my favorite show. It makes me laugh hard and get hard. | 嘿 那可是我最爱的剧 乐得我嗝屁又鸡硬 |
| [20:07] | Hey, watch the cape. | 嘿 看着点我披风 |
| [20:10] | I can’t believe everything we know about space is a lie. | 真不敢相信我们对宇宙的认识全都是谎言 |
| [20:13] | Do you ever think we’ll find out what’s really out there? | 你有想过我们真能从宇宙发现什么吗? |
| [20:15] | I don’t know, Steve. | 不知道啊 Steve |
| [20:17] | But I know what I’d like it to be. | 不过我知道我希望它啥样 |