| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | I’m honored to introduce the woman who’s been an inspiration of mine for years. | 很高兴为大家介绍这位激励了我很多年的女人 |
| [00:08] | She’s shown the women of this state | 她向本州女性朋友们证明 |
| [00:10] | that if we put our minds to it, anything is possible. | 只要矢志不渝 女人没什么做不到的 |
| [00:13] | A female Governor? Ewe, yuck! | 女州长? 真恶心 |
| [00:16] | Am I the only one who hates women? | 难道只有我一个人恨女人吗? |
| [00:19] | Ladies and gentlemen | 女士们 先生们 |
| [00:20] | the current and future Governor, Nina Melcher! | 有请现任以及下任州长 Nina Melcher |
| [00:26] | Good morning, Brickleberry. | 早上好 脆莓 |
| [00:28] | It’s such an honor to speak to… | 很荣幸能给大家演讲… |
| [00:31] | I’m here to see the Governor, not his frumpy housekeeper! | 我是来看州长的 不是他家土里土气的老妈子 |
| [00:35] | Woody! What the hell is your problem? | Woody 你特么怎么回事? |
| [00:38] | He drank his breakfast. Let’s see where this goes. | 他早上喝酒来着 看他酒疯耍到什么程度 |
| [00:40] | I’ll tell you what my problem is! | 我来告诉你我怎么回事 |
| [00:42] | I don’t want some uppity she-Governor telling me what to do! | 我可不想让一个自大的女州长对我指手画脚 |
| [00:46] | I’m here to lodge an intelligent protest! | 在此我提出一个文明合理的建议 |
| [00:49] | Show your tits! Show your tits! Show your tits! | 给我们看你咪咪 给我们看你咪咪 |
| [00:53] | I was talking to her, you idiot! | 我跟她说话呢 你个白痴 |
| [00:55] | Hey, Steve, you got nice tits. | Steve 你的咪咪也不错 |
| [00:57] | Sir, is there something you would like to say to me? | 先生 你还有别的要跟我说吗? |
| [01:00] | Yes, Governor “Felcher,” there is! | 有啊 操蛋州长 这就说 |
| [01:02] | For 700 proud years, this country was run by men! | 在光荣的700年里 这个国家一直由男性主导 |
| [01:07] | All courage, attitude, and big, swinging sausage. | 充满着勇气 态度 耷拉着大屌的男人们 |
| [01:12] | But then “women” got put in charge. | 但当”女人们”掌权之后 |
| [01:16] | What’s next? Making the tampon the official state bird? | 会怎么样呢? 把卫生棉定做国鸟? |
| [01:19] | Or Maxi Pads. They have wings. | 或者卫生巾 人家有护”翼” |
| [01:21] | I suggest that you be quiet and show a little respect | 我奉劝您保持安静 对我尊重一点 |
| [01:24] | or you’ll regret it. | 不然你会后悔的 |
| [01:25] | Run for cover, everybody! She’s having a hot flash! | 都快逃命啊 大家伙儿 她要爆发了 |
| [01:29] | Shut your sexist mouth! | 闭上你那张性别歧视臭嘴 |
| [01:32] | Oh, what’s she gonna do? | 不然她能把我怎样? |
| [01:42] | What the hell? | 搞你妹啊? |
| [01:51] | “The Woody Johnson is a sexist asshole memorial highway”? | “性别歧视傻X Woody Johnson 纪念高速路”? |
| [01:55] | No! | 不 |
| [02:17] | She built a goddamn highway through my park! | 她把该死的高速路修在我的公园里? |
| [02:20] | Well, maybe next time, you’ll think twice about picking a fight with the Governor. | 也许下次你就得在和州长起冲突之前好好考虑一下了 |
| [02:23] | She’s a pit bull. | 人家不是好惹的 |
| [02:25] | Well, you’re just lucky that I can’t think of a derogatory term for “female dog”. | 算你走运 我找不出一个关于母狗的贬义词 |
| [02:30] | I’ve got one… Connie. | 我想到个… Connie |
| [02:33] | If you want that highway gone, you should apologize to the Governor. | 你要是真想让那条高速路消失 就去跟州长道歉 |
| [02:36] | I will never apologize to a woman! | 我绝不向女人道歉 |
| [02:39] | And if that bothers you, Ethel, well, I apologize. | 如果这点困扰你了 Ethel 我向你道歉 |
| [02:42] | But you just apologized. | 你这不就道歉了嘛 |
| [02:44] | Don’t trap me with your goopy vagina logic! | 甭用你那套白痴的理论跟我逼逼 |
| [02:48] | Jesus, Woody, what did your mother do to you? | 天呐 Woody 你妈都对你做了什么? |
| [02:50] | My mother was a Saint. | 我妈是个圣人 |
| [02:53] | I’m so proud of you, son. Happy eighth birthday. | 我太为你骄傲了 儿子 八岁生日快乐 |
| [02:57] | Now, screw this hooker so you don’t turn into a queer. | 赶紧 把这妓女上了 你就不会变成基佬咯 |
| [03:01] | And that’s how Woody met his first wife. | Woody就是这么遇见他第一任老婆的 |
| [03:03] | Good morning, rangers. | 早上好呀 林警们 |
| [03:05] | “Go back to Africa, negro”. | “滚回非洲去 黑鬼” |
| [03:07] | – Woody! – What? I was just reading his shirt. | – Woody – 干嘛 读他衣服上的字而已 |
| [03:10] | Some rednecks gave it to me. | 一群乡巴佬给的 |
| [03:11] | They’re outside, recruiting for their militia. | 他们在外边招兵组建武装组织呢 |
| [03:13] | But why are you wearing it? | 但你为啥要穿这玩意? |
| [03:14] | I don’t give a shit what it say. It’s a free T-shirt. | 我才不关心上面写啥 反正是免费的 |
| [03:16] | I like it. Does it come in Puerto Rican? | 我超喜欢 有骂波多黎各人的吗? |
| [03:19] | Oh, crap. Now we got a militia to deal with? | 该死 现在又得对付一群武装组织了? |
| [03:22] | This is not my week. Steve, go take care of it! | 算哥时运不济 Steve 去搞掉他们 |
| [03:25] | Where the hell is Steve? | Steve特么跑哪去了? |
| [03:29] | Help? | 救命? |
| [03:30] | Ah, screw Steve. Connie, go take care of it! | Steve完犊子了 Connie 去解决他们 |
| [03:36] | Uh, is this the militia meeting? | 武装团伙就在这开会吗? |
| [03:38] | – I was sent here to… – Yeah! You wanna join? | – 我来这儿是要… – 是啊 你想加入吗? |
| [03:41] | – BoDean, what the hell? – What? We need members, Bobby. | – BoDean 你有病啊? – 咋? 咱们需要人手 Bobby |
| [03:44] | We’re anti-gay, remember? | 咱反基佬的 还记得吗? |
| [03:46] | She’s a gay. | 她就是基佬 |
| [03:48] | Yeah, Bobby, I remember | 是啊 Bobby 俺记得 |
| [03:49] | but she looks strong and nobody else will join. | 但她看起来挺壮 也没别人会加入了 |
| [03:51] | Not even your crazy brother or your crippled sister | 你疯哥不愿意加入 你残姐不愿意加入 |
| [03:53] | or your dirty whore Aunt who tried to bite my peter off. | 你那曾想咬掉我二弟的婊子姨妈都不愿加入 |
| [03:56] | Good point. Okay, I got an announcement to make. | 有道理 好吧 俺要宣布一件事 |
| [03:59] | You can join. We are now pro-gay. | 你可以加入 俺们现在挺基佬了 |
| [04:02] | Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! | 太好了 太好了 太好了 |
| [04:03] | Nobody ever asked me to join a club before. | 以前还从没人邀请我加入社团呢 |
| [04:06] | And here’s your free T-shirt. | 这是你的免费T恤衫 |
| [04:07] | Yay! Free T-shirt! | 好耶 免费T恤衫 |
| [04:12] | How’s the soup? | 汤怎么样? |
| [04:13] | – What? – Soup! | – 啥? – 汤 |
| [04:15] | – Poop? – No! Soup! | – 大便? – 不是 汤 |
| [04:17] | I know! | 我知道 |
| [04:19] | I’m saying your soup tastes like shit. | 我说你做的汤喝起来像大便 |
| [04:25] | Damn it! | 尼玛 |
| [04:26] | You sure you don’t want to apologize? | 你确定不要去道歉? |
| [04:27] | Never! We are gonna make the best of this! | 绝不 塞翁失马焉知非福 |
| [04:34] | Where the [Bleep] did that come from? | 这特么又是哪来的? |
| [04:45] | – And who the hell are you? – Man, I’m glad you’re open. | – 你谁啊? – 天呐 你能开门真是太好了 |
| [04:51] | I gotta squeak a leak out of my crotch beak. | 我得借光赶紧撒泡尿去 |
| [04:57] | What the hell? | 什么情况? |
| [04:58] | Hey, are you the manager? I think I broke your shitter. | 你是这儿管事的吗? 我好像把马桶弄坏了 |
| [05:01] | But don’t worry. People are still using it. | 不过不用担心 还有人在用呢 |
| [05:06] | – What the… – You said, “make the best of it”. | – 搞毛… – 你说”塞翁失马焉知非福”嘛 |
| [05:12] | That’s it! I can’t take it anymore! | 够了 我没耐心将就下去了 |
| [05:15] | Aabheer, your shift’s starting early. | Aabheer 你得提前值班了 |
| [05:17] | Jackpot. | 中奖噜 |
| [05:22] | I think it’s great that you’re apologizing. It shows your sensitive side. | 你能来道歉挺不容易 让人觉得你温情尚存 |
| [05:25] | Hey, what kind of flowers are those? Pansies? | 你买的是什么花? 三色堇? |
| [05:27] | No, they’re a bouquet of shut-the-[Bleep]-upsies. | 不 这是一束”尼玛拆了高速路”花 |
| [05:30] | I’ll do anything to get that highway out of my park. | 只要能把高速路弄出公园 怎么着都行 |
| [05:33] | Wow! Nice mansion! | 天 这宅子真棒 |
| [05:36] | Why don’t we live in a place like this? | 为啥我们没有这样一套宅子? |
| [05:38] | Oh, right! Because that lady Governor is more of a man than you are. | 对哦 因为人家那位女州长比你还爷们呢 |
| [05:43] | Hello, Governor. | 你好 州长 |
| [05:44] | Oh, it’s you. | 是你啊 |
| [05:45] | Make it fast, Johnson. I’m late for a very important speech. | 有话快说 Johnson 我快误了一场重要讲话了 |
| [05:49] | This will only take a second. | 只占用你几秒钟时间 |
| [05:50] | I just wanted to say I’m s-s-s-s-s-s… | 我只想说我抱-抱-抱-抱-抱… |
| [05:55] | Such a pussy. | 真娘 |
| [05:56] | I’m sor… | 我抱… |
| [05:59] | I’m sorry that you felt threatened | 很抱歉 在我说出真相时 |
| [06:01] | by my manhood and got all weepy when I told the truth! | 你被我的男子气概震得眼泪汪汪 |
| [06:04] | – There. – That’s your apology? | – 好了 – 这就是你的道歉? |
| [06:06] | Plus these. | 还有这个 |
| [06:07] | He ate most of the candy on the way here. | 大部分糖都被他在路上给吃光了 |
| [06:09] | And judging by your ass, I did you a favor. | 看你这大屁股 我算帮了你大忙呢 |
| [06:13] | Kidding. Your ass isn’t that, well… | 开玩笑的 你屁股也没… 好吧 |
| [06:15] | It’s pretty big, but, hey, I’d still do you with the lights off. | 还真大 但是我还是算助人为乐对吧 |
| [06:18] | So, friends again? | 能不计前嫌了? |
| [06:19] | I can promise you one thing, Mr. Johnson. | 我可以向你保证一件事 Johnson先生 |
| [06:22] | As long as I’m Governor of this state, that highway won’t move an inch! | 只要我在州长位置上做一日 高速公路就不会移动一寸 |
| [06:26] | What? You can’t do this to me, you dirty c… | 什么? 你竟敢这样对我 你个死贱… |
| [06:30] | Now, if you’ll excuse me. | 现在 我得走了 |
| [06:33] | So, the truck stop stays. All right. | 看来货车站还是会在 好吧 |
| [06:35] | I gotta get home and patch up some glory holes. | 人家还得滚回家补寻欢洞去… |
| [06:37] | Not so fast! I ain’t done yet. | 慌什么 我还没完呢 |
| [06:42] | Step aside, lady! I got my own announcement to make. | 闪边去 女士 我要发表我的演讲 |
| [06:45] | I, Woodrow Wayland Johnson, am running for Governor! | 我 Woodrow Wayland Johnson 将竞选州长 |
| [06:50] | Any questions? Yes, the lady dressed in black. | 有问题吗? 你 穿黑衣的女士 |
| [06:52] | Why are you announcing this at my son’s funeral? | 你跑我儿子葬礼上宣布个球? |
| [07:03] | Fox news just said that gay terrorists | 福克斯新闻刚说同性恋恐怖分子 |
| [07:05] | are trying to replace our guns with abortions. | 正在试图用堕胎取代我们的枪支 |
| [07:07] | That’s why Woody needs to be Governor. | 这就是为什么Woody要竞选州长 |
| [07:09] | Just make that donation check out to Malloy. | 只要把筹款单给Malloy就行了 |
| [07:11] | Hey, guys! It’s Steve! | 大伙们 Steve呼叫 |
| [07:13] | I’ve been trapped for days in the middle of the highway! | 我被困在高速公路中间很多天了 |
| [07:15] | Please send… | 请派… |
| [07:16] | All right, team Woody! How much money have we raised? | 好了 Woody选民队 咱们筹到多少款了? |
| [07:19] | $30,000. | 三万美元 |
| [07:21] | Oops, sorry. Negative $30,000. | 哎呦 抱歉 负债三万美元 |
| [07:24] | What? | 什么? |
| [07:24] | There’s the printing, the radio spots | 印传单要钱 广播广告要钱 |
| [07:26] | uh, and that dolphin for your inauguration. | 还有那头你为就职典礼准备的海豚 |
| [07:30] | It was an impulse buy, but I don’t regret it. | 我那是一时冲动买的 但我不后悔 |
| [07:34] | You’ve got a lot of nerve, wearing that in my campaign office. | 敢在我竞选办公室里穿这衣服 你胆子可真不小 |
| [07:38] | It’s not your campaign office, Woody. | 这儿不是你竞选办公室 Woody |
| [07:40] | It’s the ranger station. | 这儿是林警站 |
| [07:41] | – Burn in hell, Jew. – What? | – 地狱烈焰里受死吧 犹太人 – 什么? |
| [07:44] | Oh, more free militia T-shirts, Denzel? | 又是免费民兵衫 对吧Denzel? |
| [07:46] | No, I got this at the GAP. | 不 这件在GAP买的 |
| [07:47] | Look, Woody, you don’t stand a chance. | 听着 Woody 你没机会赢的 |
| [07:49] | Governor Melcher cut unemployment | Melcher州长提高了就业率 |
| [07:50] | she balanced the budget, and won a Congressional Medal of Honor. | 还清了债务 还赢过一次国会荣誉勋章 |
| [07:53] | You’re a racist, misogynistic war criminal! | 而你是歧视妇女的种族偏见战犯 |
| [07:56] | Well, when you say it with that negative tone, it sounds bad, yeah. | 如果你用这种口吻来说 听起来还真是那回事 |
| [08:00] | Woody, here’s the deal. | Woody 你必须得赢 |
| [08:01] | I need you to win so I can live in the Governor’s mansion. | 只有赢得这场选举 我才有机会入住州长官邸 |
| [08:04] | I’m running against a woman. Of course I’m going to win. | 我可是跟一个娘们拉选票呢 怎么可能会输呢 |
| [08:07] | You’re trailing in the polls by 99%! | 你只有1%的支持率 |
| [08:10] | We need to do something drastic. | 我们得下点猛药才行 |
| [08:12] | You’re right! We should buy another dolphin! | 没错 我们得再买条海豚 |
| [08:14] | No! Let’s blackmail this woman. | 不 让我们背后黑了这娘们 |
| [08:17] | That’s smart. | 好点子 |
| [08:18] | Get some dirt on her, hold it over her head. | 让她背点黑锅 让她无地自容 |
| [08:20] | No. I said, “black male,” I.E., you. | 不 我是说”黑人” 就是你 |
| [08:23] | You’re gonna make a sex tape with her. | 你得跟她嘿咻再录下来 |
| [08:25] | Yeah, then we can whack off to it. | 对 然后我们边看边打飞机 |
| [08:27] | No, we will send it to the press. | 不 我们会把视频寄给媒体 |
| [08:29] | You do it your way, I’ll do it mine. | 你有你办法 我有我主意 |
| [08:31] | I do love sex and electronics. But how old is she? | 爱爱和电视我倒都喜欢 但她有多老了? |
| [08:34] | – Don’t worry. She’s old. – Hey, did you hear that, Dick? | – 别担心 她年纪可不小 – 听到了没 鸡鸡? |
| [08:36] | You excited? Looks like you are! | 硬了没? 看起来你确实硬了 |
| [08:46] | No, no, no, no, no, no, no! | 不 不 不 不 不 不 不 |
| [08:48] | Damn it! | 见鬼了 |
| [08:50] | BoDean, I’m not asking you to suck it. Just hold it in your mouth. | BoDean 俺没要你把它吞下去 把它含在嘴里就行了 |
| [08:54] | – Welcome, member! – Guys, I got great news. | – 欢迎回来 会员 – 好消息 大伙们 |
| [08:56] | I brought a new recruit! He’s my life Coach. | – 我带了个新会员来 他是我的生活教练 |
| [08:59] | Hola. | 大伙好 |
| [09:00] | No, no, no! No Mexicans! | 不不 不要墨西哥佬 |
| [09:02] | We are definitely anti-Mexican! | 俺们和墨西哥佬水火不容 |
| [09:05] | But he brought Chimichangas! | 但他有油煎面卷饼啊 |
| [09:08] | – These are real good, Bobby. – Okay, fine! You can join. | – 这些玩意真好吃 Bobby – 好 得了 你留下吧 |
| [09:11] | Gracias, amigo. | 谢谢 朋友们 |
| [09:13] | That’s “burrito Christmas” in Mexican. | 这话翻成墨西哥语是”玉米卷圣诞” |
| [09:20] | Hey, hey, sexy Governor. | 你好啊 性感州长 |
| [09:22] | I’m not the Governor. That’s the Governor. | 我不是州长 那边那位才是州长 |
| [09:25] | Www-w-what? | 什-什么? |
| [09:26] | I’ve got some bad news for you, Dick. | 我得告诉你个坏消息 鸡鸡 |
| [09:34] | How far are you going, friend? | 要带你走多远 哥们? |
| [09:36] | Across the street. | 过街就行 |
| [09:37] | Cool. I’ll take you there. | 很好 这就带你过去 |
| [09:39] | Say, do you mind if we make a quick stop by my parents’ house? | 对了 你不介意在我父母的家门口等我一下吧? |
| [09:50] | Crazy weather we’ve had lately, huh? | 最近的天气有点反常 不是吗? |
| [09:53] | – Where’d you say you were going? – Uh, across the street. | – 你刚说要我带你上哪? – 过街就行 |
| [09:57] | Cool! That’s on the way to my sister’s house. | 很好 正好经过我妹妹家门口 |
| [10:03] | Governor Melcher has dropped out of the race | 与黑人男子性爱的录影带流出之后 |
| [10:05] | after the release of a sex tape with a black male. | Melcher州长在大选中不幸落马 |
| [10:08] | Damn, your breasts are so firm and perky. | 日啊 这对胸真是又丰满又坚挺 |
| [10:11] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [10:13] | That wasn’t no compliment! | 那不是称赞好吧 |
| [10:14] | – Denzel, how could you? – Whew! It wasn’t easy. | – Denzel 你怎么可以这样? – 哥也不容易啊 |
| [10:17] | I had to close my eyes | 当时只好紧闭双眼 |
| [10:18] | and think about Queen Elizabeth scissoring Barbara Bush. | 想像着伊丽莎白女王和布什他老婆玩劈胯 |
| [10:20] | Damn it, Woody! This is low, even for you. | 靠啊 Woody 你实在是太没下限了 |
| [10:23] | You want to see low, Ethel? Wait till I’m Governor. | 想知道下限何在吗 Ethel? 等老子当了州长 |
| [10:25] | You’ll be lucky to go outside without a goddamn burqa! | 到时你不用穿蒙面长袍上街就该谢天谢地了 |
| [10:28] | There’s no way I’m letting you run unopposed. | 我绝对不会让你毫无对手地当选的 |
| [10:30] | Well, who’s going to challenge me? | 那会有谁敢挑战我? |
| [10:32] | I would like to announce my candidacy for Governor! | 我就此宣布参加州长竞选 |
| [10:36] | Why won’t you people leave our family alone? | 你们这些人能不能放我家一马? |
| [10:42] | ♪ I’m the Governor, look at me! ♪ | ♪ 我是州长 欢迎围观 ♪ |
| [10:44] | ♪ Everybody loves me, I’m the Governor! ♪ | ♪ 我是州长 万人景仰 ♪ |
| [10:46] | ♪ I’m the Governor, I’m the Governor! ♪ | ♪ 我是州长 我是州长 ♪ |
| [10:48] | ♪ I’m the Governor! ♪ | ♪ 我就是州长 ♪ |
| [10:52] | Can you please shut up? | 求你闭嘴好么? |
| [10:54] | I’m trying to pick out a 90-inch TV for the Governor’s mansion. | 我在为州长官邸网购90英寸大电视呢 |
| [10:57] | Whoa, Malloy. | 慢着 Malloy |
| [10:59] | Do you really think you’re going to live in the Governor’s mansion with me? | 你真的以为你会跟我一起住大官邸啊? |
| [11:02] | – Do you? – What do you mean? | – 天真了吧? – 你啥意思? |
| [11:03] | I’m sorry, little buddy, but governors don’t live with bears. | 对不起啦 小盆友 州长不会跟熊孩子住一块的 |
| [11:07] | You backstabbing turncoat. I made you. | 你个阴险的死叛徒 是我成就了你 |
| [11:10] | Malloy, we’ll just have to keep our relationship on the down low, that’s all. | Malloy 咱俩的关系可得保持低调 就这么个事儿 |
| [11:14] | Everybody already thinks it’s weird. | 人们已经开始觉得诡异了 |
| [11:16] | Weird? Lincoln sucked off a kangaroo. | 诡异? 林肯还跟袋鼠玩过口活 |
| [11:18] | Read a history book. | 好好去学下历史 |
| [11:21] | And so, if you want a state where all races live in peace | 综上所述 如果你向往着 各种族和平共处 |
| [11:25] | and harmony without war, rich people, or red meat | 没有战争 没有富人 没有红肉 |
| [11:29] | and the only violent acts committed are against unborn babies | 坠胎算是唯一的暴力犯罪 |
| [11:32] | you should vote for me. | 那么你们应该选我 |
| [11:33] | That’s great, Ethel. | 挺棒的 Ethel |
| [11:34] | Connie, come on. You’re supposed to pretend to be Woody. | Connie 别捧我 你是来扮演Woody的 |
| [11:37] | Sorry, that’s right. | 对不起 我忘了 |
| [11:39] | Argh! I’m Woody! | 老子是Woody |
| [11:41] | Connie, you stupid [Bleep]! Go get rid of that militia! | Connie 你个大傻X 快去摆平那些民兵 |
| [11:44] | No, Woody. They’re my friends. | 不行 Woody 他们是我朋友 |
| [11:46] | Shut the hell up, Connie! Everybody hates you! | 你他娘的闭嘴 Connie 你个万人嫌 |
| [11:51] | All that running and crying, you’d think she’d be thinner. | 整天又跑又哭的 也不见她瘦点 |
| [11:53] | Ethel! How are you? | Ethel 你好哇 |
| [11:55] | – What do you want? – Just thinking. | – 有屁快放 – 我在想啊 |
| [11:57] | I could see us actually becoming pretty good friends. | 咱俩完全可以做闺蜜呢 |
| [12:00] | You know, when you’re Governor and we’re both living at the Governor’s mansion. | 那啥 等你当上州长 咱俩一起住官邸的时候 |
| [12:03] | You want to move into the Governor’s mansion with me? | 你想跟我一起搬进州长官邸住着? |
| [12:06] | Think of all the late nights we’d spend in our PJs | 幻想下 半夜三更咱们穿着睡衣 |
| [12:08] | binging on Haagen-dazs, rubbing our beavs to Ryan Gosling. | 舔着哈根达斯啊 看着Ryan Gosling撸一管啊 |
| [12:12] | You do realize that there’s absolutely no way I’d ever live with you, ever. | 你明白我永远不可能跟你住一起的吧 永远不会 |
| [12:17] | You’ve been trying to ruin my life ever since I got here. | 自打我来到这儿 你一直都没让我过个好日子 |
| [12:20] | Girl, you so crazy. It was all in fun. | 闺蜜你真傻 我都是闹着玩呢亲 |
| [12:23] | The answer is hell no. | 我的答案是 绝逼不行 |
| [12:25] | The streets will run red with your blood. | 老子要让你暴尸街头血流满地 |
| [12:30] | So, when they said Pluto was no longer a planet | 砖家们说冥王星不再算作行星的时候 |
| [12:33] | well, that really ticked me off! | 真是让我气爆了 |
| [12:35] | Am I crazy? | 我疯了是吧? |
| [12:37] | Not from where I’m sitting. | 我倒没看出来 |
| [12:39] | You know who else likes Pluto? My sister. | 知道还有谁喜欢冥王星吗? 我妹妹 |
| [12:43] | Guess what, big brother. | 你猜怎么着 大哥? |
| [12:45] | What, little sister? | 咋啦 小妹? |
| [12:46] | Pluto’s not even a planet anymore. | 冥王星不算行星了哟 |
| [12:49] | Shut your lying mouth, you bitch! | 闭上你的烂嘴 臭三八 |
| [12:52] | Sorry. Sibling rivalry. | 不好意思 兄妹拌嘴嘛 |
| [12:57] | She… she seems nice. | 她… 看起来是个好人 |
| [13:03] | God damn it! | 我日啊 |
| [13:10] | You guys. What a great militia meeting, right? | 大家伙儿 这集会真棒 对吧? |
| [13:14] | Look at all these new members. | 看看咱们的新成员 |
| [13:16] | Yeah, yeah. Shut your face and pass the militia mac and cheese. | 随便啦 少逼逼 快把民兵奶酪通心粉递过来 |
| [13:19] | Who the hell invited this guy? | 这货是特么谁叫来的? |
| [13:21] | We are definitely anti… anti… | 我们绝对反… 反… |
| [13:25] | What the hell are you, anyway? | 你到底是个啥玩艺儿? |
| [13:27] | I have no idea! | 我也不知道呀 |
| [13:30] | This is awesome, Bobby. | 这就挺不错啦 Bobby |
| [13:31] | Our membership is at an all-time high. | 咱的队员人数达到了史上最高 |
| [13:33] | And isn’t having a multicultural militia so much nicer? | 跨文化兵团是不是感觉高端多了? |
| [13:37] | Yeah, I guess so, but don’t militias need to make some sort of statement? | 我想是吧 兵团不是要发表宣言什么的吗? |
| [13:41] | Yes, you do. | 对 的确要这样 |
| [13:42] | First of all, militias don’t have picnics. | 首先 民兵是不野餐的 |
| [13:46] | Well, what do militias do? | 那民兵都搞啥啊? |
| [13:47] | Violent acts. How do you not know this? | 暴动啊 你们怎么可能不知道呢? |
| [13:50] | You guys look more like the Ellis Island Book Club. | 你们看起来更像少数民族书友会 |
| [13:53] | Malloy, what are you doing? | Malloy 你这是干嘛? |
| [13:54] | Quiet, militia Etheridge. | 闭嘴 Etheridge战士 |
| [13:56] | Let the talking bear finish talking. | 让这只说话熊把话说完 |
| [13:58] | If you want to be a real militia | 如果你们想玩真格的 |
| [14:00] | you need to stand up and do something big | 必须抛头露面做点大事 |
| [14:02] | something destructive, something that puts you in the history books. | 具有毁灭性的 可以载入史册的那种大事 |
| [14:06] | Like that guy who invented the double-donged dildo! | 比如发明双头震动棒的那货 |
| [14:10] | Can he not talk? | 能让他闭嘴吗? |
| [14:12] | It’s time to make a statement the world will hear! | 让全世界听到我们声音的时候到了 |
| [14:17] | – Hell yeah! Count us in! – Yes! | – 没错 算俺们一个 – 好啊 |
| [14:19] | It’s time we started acting like a real [Bleep] militia! | 终于特么有点民兵的样子了 |
| [14:26] | Our children’s test scores have been dropping at an alarming rate. | 我们的孩子考试成绩正在以惊人速度下降 |
| [14:29] | What is your plan, Mr. Johnson? | 有何计划呢 Johnson先生? |
| [14:31] | Listen, chuckles. I’ll be asking the questions around here. | 听好了 呆逼 这块地盘上只有老子才能提问 |
| [14:33] | No, you won’t. He’s the moderator. | 你不行 人家是主持人 |
| [14:35] | Not anymore. I’m the moderator now. | 不是喽 老子现在是主持喽 |
| [14:38] | ♪ I’m the moderator, look at me! ♪ | ♪ 我是主持人 欢迎围观 ♪ |
| [14:40] | ♪ Everybody loves me, I’m the moderator! ♪ | ♪ 我是主持人 万人景仰 ♪ |
| [14:42] | ♪I’m the moderator, I’m the moderator! ♪ | ♪ 我是主持人 我是主持人 ♪ |
| [14:45] | ♪I’m the moderator! ♪ | ♪ 我就是主持人 ♪ |
| [14:51] | Let’s just take some questions from the audience. | 下面请观众直接发问吧 |
| [14:54] | I’ll allow it. | 朕许了 |
| [14:55] | Hello, everybody. | 大家好啊 |
| [14:56] | I’m the leader of the Ellis Island Book Club militia. | 俺是”少数民族书友会兵团”的大首领 |
| [15:00] | And we have decided to assassinate the new Governor | 俺们决定要刺杀新任州长 |
| [15:03] | so whichever one of y’all wins, you’re dead! | 所以甭管你们谁赢了 都得死 |
| [15:06] | Y’all have a nice day. | 祝各位竞选愉快 |
| [15:07] | Listen here. I don’t respond to threats. | 给我听着 我对威胁不予回应 |
| [15:10] | All my life, I’ve been told that because I’m a woman, I should give up. | 一直都有人告诉我 因为我是个女人 所以应该放弃 |
| [15:14] | Well guess what! I’m… | 你听着 我会… |
| [15:18] | Dropping out of the race for Governor immediately. | 我将立即退出州长竞选 |
| [15:19] | No, no, no, no. I’m dropping out of the race. | 不对不对不对 我才会退出竞选 |
| [15:22] | No, you’re not! I dropped out first. | 才不 是我先退出的 |
| [15:23] | I’m much more qualified to drop out of this race than you! | 我比你更有资格退出竞选 |
| [15:25] | You can’t tell me that I can’t drop out of this race. | 轮不到你来说 我不能退出竞选 |
| [15:28] | Would someone please call me an ambulance? | 有谁能帮忙叫辆救护车吗? |
| [15:31] | Jesus! This guy asks a lot of [Bleep] questions! | 老天 这家伙问题真特么多 |
| [15:40] | – Uh, Malloy? – Yes, Connie? | – Malloy? – 干嘛 Connie? |
| [15:42] | I’m really happy you joined our militia and everything, but, uh | 你能加入我们的组织 我真的很高兴 但是… |
| [15:45] | I’m not so sure about your idea to violently assassinate the Governor. | 我觉着你那个暗杀州长的主意有些不妥 |
| [15:50] | Relax, Connie. No one’s gonna get hurt. | 放心 Connie 不会有人受伤的 |
| [15:54] | – Really? – Really. | – 真的吗? – 真的 |
| [15:56] | I just want to scare them into dropping out of the race. | 我就是想吓吓他们 好让他们退出竞选 |
| [15:58] | If I can’t live in the Governor’s mansion, neither can they. | 要是我不能住进州长官邸 谁也甭想 |
| [16:01] | Trust me. No one’s gonna die today. | 相信我 今天没人会死的 |
| [16:02] | Someone’s definitely going to die today | 今天某些人是死定了 |
| [16:05] | as Woody Johnson and Ethel Anderson’s names will remain on the ballot | 只要Woody Johnson和Ethel Anderson依然是候选人 |
| [16:08] | whether they drop out or not. | 不管他们退出与否 |
| [16:10] | Which means one of them will be elected Governor | 也就是说他们中有一人会被选为州长 |
| [16:12] | and swiftly assassinated. | 并转眼被杀 |
| [16:14] | Ain’t I a stinker? | 我是瞎话篓子 |
| [16:16] | Hi, I’m Ethel Anderson | 我是Ethel Anderson |
| [16:18] | and there’s no way that I should be elected Governor. | 本人绝不应该被选为州长 |
| [16:21] | Why, you say? | 你问为什么? |
| [16:22] | Because I’m a raging, unrepentant alcoholic | 因为我是个死不悔改的狂暴酒鬼 |
| [16:25] | and I believe the holocaust never happened, but I wish it did. | 而且我相信希特勒绝没屠杀犹太人 但我希望他有 |
| [16:28] | Vote Woody Johnson for Governor. | 请为Woody Johnson投票 |
| [16:31] | Hi, I’m Woody Johnson, and there’s no use beating around the bush. | 大家好 我是Woody Johnson 没必要兜圈子了 |
| [16:35] | I molest kids, and I love it. | 我猥亵儿童 而且乐此不疲 |
| [16:37] | And I promise to make this state a safe haven for terrorists. | 并且我保证会把本州变成恐怖分子的天堂 |
| [16:40] | Hey, can I just say, “[Bleep] Our troops”? | 我能说”去他妈的军队”吗? |
| [16:46] | Look where I can stick the Statue of Liberty! | 看我把自由女神像插哪儿了? |
| [16:49] | Domestic violence isn’t a problem… | 家庭暴力不是个问题 |
| [16:52] | It’s a solution. | 而是个方案 |
| [16:54] | ♪ Camptown lady’s sing this song… ♪ | ♪ 凯卜镇唱起歌呀 ♪ |
| [16:57] | ♪ Doo-dah. Doo-dah. ♪ | ♪ 嘟哒 嘟哒 ♪ |
| [17:06] | And the election results are in. | 竞选结果已出 |
| [17:07] | If I win, I am dropping off the grid. | 如果我当选 我就脱离群众 |
| [17:10] | I’ll change my name to something inconspicuous like… | 再改个不起眼的名字 比如… |
| [17:12] | – Rick Swordfire. – Yeah, good thinking. | – 剑火Rick – 想得真美 |
| [17:15] | The winner, and new state Governor is… | 竞选州长的胜者是… |
| [17:18] | – Woody Johnson. – What? | – Woody Johnson – 什么? |
| [17:21] | In your face, dead man! | 呼你熊脸 大死人 |
| [17:23] | By the remarkably low count of two votes to none. | 以2:0选票之差险胜竞选 |
| [17:27] | Wait. You voted for yourself? | 等下 你给自己投票了? |
| [17:29] | Well I wasn’t gonna vote for a goddamn woman. | 难不成还要我给天杀的女人投票?! |
| [17:32] | Hello, Mr. Governor. | 你好啊 州长先生 |
| [17:34] | You’ve got the wrong guy, my name is Rick Swordfire. | 你找错人了 我叫剑火Rick |
| [17:37] | I knew Rick Swordfire, and you, Sir, are no Rick Swordfire! | 我认识剑火Rick 而你 先生 不是剑火Rick |
| [17:44] | Et tu, Malloy? | 还有你 Malloy? |
| [17:44] | 恶搞拉丁语名言Et tu, Brute? 后世普遍认为 是罗马晚期独裁官儒略·恺撒临死前最后一句话 | |
| [17:46] | Hey, you wouldn’t let me live in the Governor’s mansion. | 嘿 谁让你不带我住州长官邸 |
| [17:48] | Okay! You can live in the Governor’s mansion! | 好吧 你可以住在州长官邸 |
| [17:51] | You can have the Master Bedroom! I’ll sleep in the shitter! I don’t care! | 你可以住主卧 我就去睡马桶 我不管 |
| [17:55] | – Just talk them down! – Really? | – 快叫他们停下 – 真的? |
| [17:58] | Okay, guys, great news. | 好的伙计们 有好消息 |
| [17:59] | Put down your guns. The assassination is a no go. | 放下武器 刺杀行动失败 |
| [18:02] | Oh, hell no! | 屁扯 |
| [18:04] | You can’t get a militia all hot and bothered and leave ’em hanging like that. | 你不能把人家弄得欲火焚身了 再把人家晾在那里 |
| [18:07] | It’s time to bust a nut in his ass! | 是时候爆烂他的菊花了 |
| [18:11] | Uh, I mean cap. | 我是说打爆他的头 |
| [18:12] | We can do both! | 我们可以包揽 |
| [18:13] | Stop! | 住手 |
| [18:14] | – Ethel? What are… – Shut up, Woody. | – Ethel 怎么… – 闭嘴 Woody |
| [18:16] | Let a woman talk some sense into these idiots. | 让女人给这帮白痴讲讲道理 |
| [18:19] | Out of the way, two tits! We have a message to send! | 走开 大波女 我们有信息要传达 |
| [18:22] | What kind of message could you possibly want to send | 杀了这么一个悲剧的人渣… |
| [18:25] | by killing this pathetic piece of shit? | 又能帮你们传达什么信息? |
| [18:27] | We’re gonna kill him because he represents a government | 俺们要杀了他 因为他所代表的政府 |
| [18:30] | controlled by the zionist Jew threat! | 被犹太复国主义者控制了 |
| [18:32] | Bobby, we’re okay with Jew people now. | Bobby 咱们不反犹太人了现在 |
| [18:35] | Chaim got us these uniforms from his garment factory. | 是Chaim从他的服装厂给咱们搞来的制服 |
| [18:38] | Fine, what I meant to say was, we gonna kill him | 好吧 其实俺是想说 俺们要杀他 |
| [18:41] | because he wants to flood our shores with dirty immigrants. | 是因为他想让肮脏的移民冲垮俺们的海岸 |
| [18:44] | Immigrants are good, remember? | 移民也是好人 你忘啦? |
| [18:46] | Professor Chin did all our laundry | 陈教授给咱们洗衣服 |
| [18:48] | and Dr. Patel drove us here in his cab. | Patel博士开出租载咱们来的 |
| [18:50] | Aw, shit, are we anti-anything anymore? | 干 还有啥东西能让俺们反的嘛?! |
| [18:53] | I know what we are! | 我知道该反啥了 |
| [18:55] | We’re anti-white garbage trash man! | 我们是反白人的垃圾男 |
| [19:01] | Guys! Stop! I got an idea. | 各位 停下 我有个想法 |
| [19:03] | How about if we make our militia all about being anti-violence? | 不如把我们的组织设定为反暴力? |
| [19:10] | Screw it. | 去你的 |
| [19:14] | – You think we can just leave? – I don’t see why not. | – 我们赶紧走吧 你觉得呢 – 不能同意更多 |
| [19:20] | Ethel, you saved my life. | Ethel 是你救了我 |
| [19:22] | You’ve proved to me that women are capable of great things. | 你向我证明了 女人可以从事伟大的事业 |
| [19:25] | I was wrong. I’m sorry. | 我错了 对不起 |
| [19:28] | Your first female apology. | 你第一次向女人道歉 |
| [19:31] | I did act like a misogynist asshole, yet you still saved me. Why? | 我把厌女混蛋做绝了 但你还是救了我 为什么? |
| [19:36] | Because even though we may be different genders | 因为也许我们性别不同 |
| [19:38] | deep down inside, we’re both red-blooded… | 但骨子里都是流淌着红色血液的… |
| [19:40] | White people. High five! | 白人 万岁 |
| [19:42] | – No, actually, I was going to say… – Shh-shh. We’ll leave it at that. | – 不是 其实我是想说… – 嘘 就这么着吧 |
| [19:47] | I am pleased to announce that my first act as your Governor | 作为州长 我很高兴得宣布我的第一个任务 |
| [19:51] | is to remove the highway running through Brickleberry Park. | 那就是拆除横跨脆莓公园的高架桥 |
| [19:54] | The wrecking crew is already on its way. | 施工队已经准备就绪 |
| [19:56] | Ah, well, Phil, your family is great company | 好了 Phil 你的家人真是贴心 |
| [20:00] | but we’ve been playing for six straight days. | 但我们已经连续玩了六天了 |
| [20:03] | We’re just getting started. | 我们才刚开始呢 |
| [20:06] | Uh-oh. You forgot to say, “Uno”! | 哎呀 你忘了说”哦不” |
| [20:09] | A helicopter! Thank God! I’m saved! | 直升机 谢天谢地我得救了 |
| [20:15] | Uno! | 哦不 |
| [20:16] | And with that done, I’m stepping down as Governor. | 拆除之后 我将辞去州长一职 |
| [20:19] | As a thank you to my friend Ethel | 为了感谢我的朋友Ethel |
| [20:21] | my last act is to pardon Governor Melcher | 我的最后一个任务是原谅Melcher州长 |
| [20:23] | for her having sex on tape with a black guy | 和一位黑人同志录制性爱录像带 |
| [20:25] | and hand the job back to her. | 并把州长工作交还给她 |
| [20:27] | – Thank you, Woody! – It’s good to be back. | – 谢谢你 Woody – 回来真好 |
| [20:29] | She Governor again? | 她又是州长了? |
| [20:30] | You made me rob the cradle for nothing? | 你让我无缘无故的小牛吃嫩草? |
| [20:32] | Wait a minute. You were behind that sex tape? | 等一下 你是性爱录像的主谋? |
| [20:36] | Water under the bridge, right? | 覆水难收了 不是吗? |
| [20:48] | “The Woody Johnson prison for criminally insane man-rapists”? | “专为爆菊狂准备的Woody Johnson囚牢”? |