| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | You know what I just noticed? | 知道我发现什么了么? |
| [00:05] | Connie’s knees look more like balls than my balls look like balls. | Connie的膝盖长得比蛋蛋还像蛋蛋 |
| [00:08] | Oh, my God, they do. | 我天哪 真的呢 |
| [00:10] | Man, I’m starving. | 天啊 饿死我了 |
| [00:11] | Being the best Park Ranger on Earth can really work up an appetite. | 做一只全地球最佳林警还真是开胃呢 |
| [00:15] | Oh, no! | 不 |
| [00:16] | My leftover Chinese food! It’s gone! | 我的中餐剩饭 全没了 |
| [00:18] | Steve, if I’d a known, I never would have… | Steve 早知道是你的 我绝对不… |
| [00:20] | And look at that! | 再看看那个 |
| [00:21] | Someone drew a mustache on my ranger of the month picture! | 有人在我月度最佳林警的照片上乱画胡子 |
| [00:25] | Don’t you people understand? | 你们大伙还没看懂吗? |
| [00:27] | There’s only one explanation! | 只有一个解释啊 |
| [00:29] | It’s the ghost! | 鬼来了 |
| [00:31] | Yeah, uh, a ghost ate your Chinese food. | 没错 是鬼吃了你的中餐 |
| [00:34] | And drew a mustache on your picture. | 还在你照片上乱画胡子 |
| [00:36] | And, uh, got drunk and took a shit on your toothbrush. | 还有… 喝大了 然后在你牙刷上拉了屎 |
| [00:41] | I mean, uh, what ghost? | 我是说 什么鬼呀? |
| [00:44] | I never told you about the ghost that ruined my childhood? | 难道我没跟你们提过那个毁掉我童年的鬼吗? |
| [00:47] | It all started 25 years ago. | 那是从25年前开始的 |
| [00:49] | I got up on Christmas morning, and there were no presents. | 我在圣诞清晨醒来 却发现没有礼物 |
| [00:52] | My dad said the ghost stole them. | 爸爸说礼物都让鬼偷走了 |
| [00:54] | Then the ghost gambled away my college fund, backed over my dog | 接着鬼又赌光了我的大学基金 倒车碾死我的狗 |
| [00:58] | and gave my mom two black eyes on her birthday. | 又在我妈妈生日那天送了她俩黑眼圈 |
| [01:02] | – The ghost did all that, huh? – Yeah, and now he’s back. | – 全都是鬼干的哈? – 对 现在他又来了 |
| [01:06] | But this time, I’m gonna get my revenge and kill that dead son of a bitch! | 但这一次 我要报仇雪恨 宰了那死王八蛋 |
| [01:10] | All right, all right, I don’t want to hear another word about that ghost! | 够啦 够啦 甭再跟我提半个鬼字儿 |
| [01:13] | Woody used to be a ’70s porn star named Rex Erection. | Woody居然是70年代艳星 叫坚挺Rex |
| [01:17] | Tell me more about that ghost, Steve. | 再跟我讲讲那个鬼 Steve |
| [01:30] | I was looking through this porn site called BigBlackFurburger.Com. | 我正逛那个叫”黑毛大汉堡”的黄网呢 |
| [01:34] | What? I like full bush. I’m a bear. | 怎么? 我喜欢密丛 人家是熊 |
| [01:38] | Anyway, I found this. | 话说回来 我就看见这个了 |
| [01:41] | Just a minute. | 稍等下哦 |
| [01:45] | Trick or treat. | 不给糖就捣蛋 |
| [01:46] | And what are you supposed to be? | 你是来干嘛的? |
| [01:49] | I’m supposed to be [Bleep] you. | 我是来干你的 |
| [01:58] | – That’s Woody? – Can’t be! | – 那人Woody? – 杀了我吧 |
| [01:59] | If I wasn’t gay, I am now. | 我要是直的 现在直接弯掉 |
| [02:03] | There’s no way that’s him. | 看那样不可能是他吧 |
| [02:04] | Okay, baby, it’s time to bust ass! | 好了 宝贝 是时候引蛇入洞了 |
| [02:07] | Okay, Rangers, it’s time to bust ass! | 好了 林警们 是时候引蛇出洞了 |
| [02:09] | Well, that dried me up. | 好吧 我没话说了 |
| [02:11] | Woody, what’d you do for a living before you worked at Brickleberry? | Woody 来脆莓之前 你靠什么混饭来着? |
| [02:14] | Oh, I had my fingers in this and that. | 这呀那呀 我啥都干过啦 |
| [02:16] | By this and that, I’m assuming you meant vagina’s and buttholes? | 你说的”这呀那呀”应该就是花蕊和菊花吧 |
| [02:21] | Well, I knew this day would come. | 好吧 我早料到会有这一天 |
| [02:23] | Back in the ’70s, I made a living as a pornographic actor named Rex Erection. | 七十年代那会 我为混饭做过成人动作片演员 叫”坚挺Rex” |
| [02:28] | Woody Johnson wasn’t a good enough porn name for you? | Woody Johnson这名儿还不够黄是么? |
| [02:31] | Huh? I don’t get it. | 啥? 听不懂你 |
| [02:33] | Anyhow, porn was just one of those jobs you stumble into | 总之啦 对于一个初到大城市的图样图森破 |
| [02:36] | when you’re young and new to the big city | 拍黄片是很容易栽进去的一行 |
| [02:38] | and you’ve got a dishonest Pinocchio nose for a dick! | 要是他有鸡鸡版匹诺曹鼻子就更是如此了 |
| [02:43] | Yeah, we noticed. | 我们注意到了 |
| [02:46] | Oh, no! It’s my husband and his brother! | 不好 我老公跟他兄弟回来了 |
| [02:49] | They just finished playing 18 holes. | 他们刚玩过18个洞 (高尔夫) |
| [02:52] | I got two more holes you guys can play. | 哥这儿还有两个洞给你们玩 |
| [02:59] | Gay porn too? So you’re gay? | 还拍基佬黄片? 你是基佬? |
| [03:01] | Hell no! I didn’t enjoy it! | 绝不是 我又不喜欢 |
| [03:04] | It’s called acting. | 这叫做表演 |
| [03:05] | But there’s one unanswered question. | 但还是有一个搞不懂的地方 |
| [03:08] | Why were those two men playing golf at night on Halloween? | 为什么这俩男的要在万圣夜去打高尔夫? |
| [03:12] | Connie, I ought to whup your ass. | Connie 我真想抽你 |
| [03:14] | Woody, why’d you quit? | Woody 干嘛不干了? |
| [03:15] | Quit? No. It wasn’t my choice. | 不干? 不 不是我说了算的 |
| [03:18] | I was a pornographic pioneer. The world was at my feet. | 我那时是动作片第一人 世界都被我踩在脚下 |
| [03:22] | I even invented my own signature move… | 我甚至发明了自己的标志性姿势… |
| [03:24] | The Rex Rocket! | 飞龙在天 |
| [03:28] | Oh, my God! That was amazing! | 老天啊 太叼了 |
| [03:31] | I had legions of fans who adored me. | 我粉丝多了去了 都特仰慕我 |
| [03:34] | Could you make it out to Duke? | 可以给公爵签个名吗? |
| [03:36] | You’re my hero, Rex. | 你就是我的英雄 Rex |
| [03:37] | I want to be just like you when I grow up. | 我长大后也要做成你现在这样 |
| [03:39] | – What are you, seven? – I’m only six. | – 你多大 有七没? – 我才六 |
| [03:42] | Six inches? Not enough cable, son. | 六寸? 不够个儿的 小子 |
| [03:44] | You’ll never make it in porn. Stay in school. | 你在黄片界混不出头的 好好上学吧 |
| [03:47] | Oh, I was on top of the world, but I flew too close to the sun. | 我那时就在世界之巅 可一下巅到太阳上去了 |
| [03:51] | I burned out. | 过劲儿了 |
| [03:52] | Couldn’t do what I, uh, needed to do. | 没法做… 那个… 要做的事了 |
| [03:56] | Oh, boy. | 天啊 |
| [03:57] | I’m… I’m really embarrassed about this, folks. Well, one minute. | 我… 我真不好意思 各位 再给我一分钟 |
| [04:00] | Oh, brother. I’m thinking of everything. | 老弟啊 招数全都用尽了 |
| [04:04] | Sorry, guys. | 对不住 伙计们 |
| [04:06] | I know this seems unprofessional, but… | 我知道这很不专业 但… |
| [04:08] | maybe you guys can hit craft service. | 要不你们先去垫吧点东西吃吧 |
| [04:11] | Starting to get a tingle. | 开始在抖了 |
| [04:12] | No! Shit! It’s gone! Come on, come on! | 别 靠 又不动了 给力 给力啊 |
| [04:16] | My presence in porn films was reduced to non-sexual character roles. | 我在动作片里的戏份退居到不用啪叽的角色 |
| [04:21] | Like the pool boy’s boss and one of the students not kept after class. | 比如泳池男的老板 还有那种不会被老师留校的学生 |
| [04:26] | It flung me into a deep depression. | 我被打击得消沉殆尽 |
| [04:38] | What are all you people doing in my bathroom? | 你们这帮死人在我浴室干嘛呢? |
| [04:42] | Fortunately, Uncle Sam straightened me out. | 幸运的是 山姆大叔解救了我 |
| [04:44] | Then I took this job at Brickleberry and found my true calling | 然后我就来到脆莓公园 发现了人生的真正使命 |
| [04:48] | you know what I mean? | 懂我什么意思吧? |
| [04:49] | Where the hell is everybody? | 人都特么死哪去了? |
| [04:54] | You see, Malloy, when a man and a woman really love each other | 你看 Malloy 当男女之爱达到一定程度 |
| [04:58] | or they’re being paid and there’s a camera there | 或是有人拿钱给他们 摆个摄像机 |
| [05:00] | they have what are called… | 他们就会做我们常说的… |
| [05:02] | Relations. | 爱爱 |
| [05:04] | Sometimes that woman can be a man or a gang of men or a Shetland pony. | 有时女的可以换作男人 也可以换作一帮男人或一匹雪德兰马 |
| [05:09] | You following me? | 你有在听没? |
| [05:10] | Yeah, yeah, yeah. You had sex with a horse. | 有有有 你跟一匹马有一腿 |
| [05:12] | Why didn’t you ever tell me you were in porn? | 为啥从来不告诉我你演过黄片? |
| [05:13] | I have always dreamed of getting into porn. | 我一直都梦想进军黄片界呢 |
| [05:16] | You want to be a porn actor? | 你想当黄片演员? |
| [05:18] | Hell no, they’re disgusting. | 才不 别恶心我了 |
| [05:20] | I want to direct, like the great storytellers from the golden age of porn. | 我想导演 就像黄片如日中天时那些有如神助的编剧一样 |
| [05:23] | Back when there was an art to exploiting people and ruining their lives. | 压榨人的价值并毁他们一生 在那时是门艺术 |
| [05:26] | Hey, that reminds me. Porn Con is this week, we have to go. | 嘿 这倒提醒我了 这周有黄片博览会 得动身啦 |
| [05:29] | You are a God to tons of sad, lonely, pathetic people. | 你就是那群悲催寂寞又低贱的屌丝教父啊 |
| [05:33] | Oh, sorry, Fuzzywubs. | 真对不住 小毛球 |
| [05:35] | I have made my peace with porn, and I’m never going back to that dark place. | 我已经和黄片分道扬镳了 再也不要回到那片黑暗领域去了 |
| [05:40] | What about for 100 bucks an autograph? | 100刀一张照片干不干? |
| [05:42] | Hello, dark place! | 黑暗领域 我回来了 |
| [05:46] | – Hey, guys! – Break’s over. | – 嘿 大伙 – 该上班了 |
| [05:48] | – Wait! It’s here! – What’s here? | – 等等 看看这个 – 啥玩意? |
| [05:50] | My ghost-hunting equipment! | 我用来打鬼的家当们 |
| [05:52] | – Man, that’s just a bat! – No, it’s a ghost bat. | – 神经病 这是球棒 – 错 此乃打鬼棒 |
| [05:56] | You can’t hit a ghost with a regular bat. | 一般的棒子连鬼毛都打不着 |
| [05:57] | It’d go right through them. | 只会从他们中间穿过去 |
| [05:59] | Ghost tape recorder, ghost glasses, ghost-a-meter. | 鬼音留声机 识鬼专用眼镜 以及测鬼计 |
| [06:03] | That’s a rectal thermometer duct-taped to a tennis racquet. | 这不就一根绑着网球拍的温度计吗 |
| [06:06] | Steve, how much did you spend on all this crap? | Steve 你砸了多少钱给这堆破烂? |
| [06:08] | – $800. – What? | – 800刀咯 – 啥? |
| [06:09] | Small price to pay for revenge, am I right? | 区区小钱只为解我心头之恨 何乐不为? |
| [06:12] | Yeah, uh… | 是啊… |
| [06:13] | Steve, that reminds me. I have this ghost mop I want to sell you. | Steve 我想起来了 我这儿有拖鬼把 要不要来一把? |
| [06:16] | No, thanks. Already have one. | 不了 多谢 早买好了 |
| [06:27] | There’s even a line to see the fatties from Filipino Foot Fetish 5! | 那边看《菲律宾大脚恋语5》死胖子的人都排成队了 |
| [06:28] | I can’t believe no one wants to meet me. | 难以置信 居然没人给我赏脸 |
| [06:30] | Well, this sucks, Malloy. | 太操蛋了 Malloy |
| [06:34] | That was a surprisingly solid film | 那片子还真是匹黑马 |
| [06:36] | despite the fact that you didn’t realize it was a prequel till the end. | 尽管看到最后 你才会发现这只不过是个前传 |
| [06:39] | I’m a joke. I can’t believe you talked me into coming here. | 我就是个笑话 不敢相信你把我给哄到这来了 |
| [06:43] | My legacy is dead. | 我的传奇已然终结 |
| [06:45] | Cheer up, Woody. These porn nerds are just cheap. | 乐观点 Woody 看毛片的撸管男们乐意花点小钱 |
| [06:47] | Autographs now only $10. | 亲笔签名只要10刀了 |
| [06:52] | $1.00 autographs. | 1刀就能签名哦 |
| [06:55] | – Okay, no one loves you. – Jesus does! | – 好吧 没人爱你了 – 耶稣爱我 |
| [06:58] | Not after he saw the Rex Erection IV Easter [Bleep]day. | 那你得祈祷他没看《坚挺Rex5: 复活节大淫乱》 |
| [07:01] | Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure | 女士们先生们 很荣幸向各位… |
| [07:04] | to introduce the biggest porn star in the world! | 介绍这世界上最伟大的黄片明星 |
| [07:07] | The God of rod, the master ass blaster, the shoe-in for this year’s Boney Award! | 自慰棒的教父 爆菊界的巨星 本年度色情奖的志在必得之人 |
| [07:13] | Duke Dick! | 鸡动公爵 |
| [07:18] | Hey, those are my moves! | 那家伙抄老子的姿势 |
| [07:20] | That’s my Navajo Chap Slap and my Inverted Clam! | 那是老子的拍屁拨浪鼓 老子的海员撬蛤蜊 |
| [07:24] | And that’s my Mr. Belvedere! | 那可是老子的提股看花式啊 |
| [07:26] | Yo! Duke Dick in the hit zone! | 鸡动公爵要进入战斗位置了 |
| [07:29] | – What time is it? – It’s time to bust ass! | – 现在是什么时候了? – 是引蛇入洞的时候了 |
| [07:33] | And that’s my catchphrase! | 那可是老子的名言 |
| [07:36] | Now, who wants to see Duke do his famous move? | 现在谁想见识见识公爵的名招? |
| [07:38] | The Duke Rocket! | 飞龙在天 |
| [07:43] | Stop right there! | 你给我打住了 |
| [07:45] | Someone get this Queen offstage before the Duke gets filled with rage! | 趁公爵控制不住情绪之前 来人把这娘们赶下台去 |
| [07:49] | You stole all of my moves, asshole! | 你丫抄老子姿势 烂屁眼的东西 |
| [07:52] | Asshole? My asshole has won five Boney Awards! | 烂屁眼? 我的屁眼可赢过五项色情大奖 |
| [07:55] | Show some respect, son! | 给我放尊重点 小子 |
| [07:57] | Oh, I ain’t your son, hombre. | 老子可不是什么小子 小毛孩 |
| [07:59] | I’m Rex [Bleep] Erection! | 老子是特么坚挺Rex |
| [08:01] | Rex Erection was my hero until he told me I’d never make it. | 坚挺Rex曾经是我的英雄 直到他告诉我”你不行” |
| [08:05] | What the… | 搞什么… |
| [08:06] | “Dear Duke, you got a small tool. Stay in school. Rex”. | 亲爱的公爵 你的枪口径太小 好好上学吧 Rex |
| [08:11] | Well, I showed you. | 现在傻眼了吧 |
| [08:12] | Now I’m on top, and you’re all washed up, old man. | 长江后浪推前浪 你死在沙滩上了 老家伙 |
| [08:15] | Not for long, because you know what I’m gonna do? | 别高兴得太早 你知道老子要做什么吗? |
| [08:18] | I don’t know. Skype with your grand kids? | 我哪知道 跟你孙子聊Skype吗? |
| [08:20] | No, I’m gonna come out of retirement | 错 老子要重出江湖 |
| [08:22] | I’m gonna make my own movie, I’m gonna win that Boney! | 老子要拍自己的电影 老子要赢色情大奖 |
| [08:25] | And then I’m gonna shove it up your award-winning asshole! | 然后把奖杯插到你那坐拥殊荣的后门里去 |
| [08:28] | Yeah, right. | 是啊 是啊 |
| [08:29] | What Director would touch your washed-up white ass? | 哪个导演会碰你那高端大气上档次的白屁股? |
| [08:32] | I will. | 我会 |
| [08:33] | Dude, a hairy little woodland creature can’t direct a movie. | 拜托 深山老林里的毛球能导演个毛线 |
| [08:36] | Uh, what about Peter Jackson? | 是吗 那彼得·杰克逊呢? |
| [08:38] | Okay, I stand corrected. | 好吧 算我说错了 |
| [08:45] | Alright Malloy, I snorted four lines of Levitra. | 好了 Malloy 我吃了四罐艾力达 |
| [08:47] | There’s soup in the mushroom! Let’s shoot this thing! | 子弹已经上膛 就等号令开火了 |
| [08:50] | Put a pin in that boner. I’m still auditioning actresses. | 先别急着性奋 我还在选女演员呢 |
| [08:53] | Connie, bring them in! | Connie 都带进来 |
| [08:55] | Too fat, trucker arms, flat ass. That’s a Moose. | 太肥 胳膊太粗 屁股太平 那是头驯鹿 |
| [08:58] | Christ! Connie, bring me some real women with no self-esteem. | 拜托 Connie 给我找点有血有肉没自尊的女人好不 |
| [09:03] | Sorry, Malloy, I’m just really tired. | 抱歉 Malloy 我真累得够呛 |
| [09:05] | I’m really tired too… of having a wheezing elephant seal for an assistant. | 我也累得够呛了 让你这头只会打哈哈的海象给我当助理 |
| [09:09] | I never actually asked to be your assistant. | 又不是我要给你当助理的 |
| [09:11] | Connie, don’t ever [Bleep] backtalk me. | Connie 永远别特么顶我的嘴 |
| [09:15] | I’m so sorry. | 我错了 |
| [09:16] | Oh, God. What is this now? | 靠 你又哪根筋抽了? |
| [09:18] | Do you have any idea how demeaning this is to women? | 你知不知道这对女性是多大的侮辱? |
| [09:21] | Yes. | 所以呢 |
| [09:22] | And, no, you cannot be in it. | 但不 我不会让你演的 |
| [09:24] | I would never be in this movie. | 打死我也不想演这部电影 |
| [09:27] | Wait, why can’t I be in this movie? | 等等 为什么不能让我演? |
| [09:29] | You don’t think I have trucker arms, do you? | 你不会是觉得我胳膊粗吧 对吧? |
| [09:32] | It is my nose? Are my boobs too small? | 我鼻子太大了? 还是胸太小了? |
| [09:35] | You know what? I’m not gonna fall into your little trap. | 你知道不? 我才不会中你的激将法呢 |
| [09:39] | You put me in this goddamn movie! | 快特么让我演这部电影 |
| [09:41] | Put me in! | 让我演 |
| [09:43] | Malloy, put me in this movie! | Malloy 让我演电影 |
| [09:46] | Fine, but I’m not gonna pay you. | 好吧 但我不会给你发钱 |
| [09:47] | Yes, I’m pretty. | Yes 让姐觉得风韵犹存 |
| [09:51] | So you’re saying the only time the ghost didn’t bother you | 那么你是说幽灵唯一没有骚扰你的那次 |
| [09:54] | was during the four weeks your daddy was in jail? | 正是你老爸蹲号子的那四个月? |
| [09:55] | Yeah, I guess he was too busy framing my dad for all those DUI’s. | 是啊 我想那幽灵肯定是忙着诬告我老爸醉驾了 |
| [10:00] | – Ooh, you ordered us a pizza? – No, it’s a medium. | – 你给咱俩订披萨了? – 不是 是灵媒 |
| [10:02] | – So, you ordered yourself a pizza? – No, I got us a medium. | – 那你只给自己订披萨了? – 不是 我给咱俩找了个灵媒 |
| [10:05] | Oh, so we only get three slices a piece? | 所以一张披萨得分成三块吃? |
| [10:07] | You at least get some bread sticks or some shit? | 那你丫至少有加订点面包条什么的吧? |
| [10:09] | No, Denzel, a medium to help us hunt down this ghost. | 不对 Denzel 我找了个灵媒来帮咱们捉鬼 |
| [10:12] | How’s a pizza gonna hunt down a ghost, Steve? | 披萨怎么可能捉鬼 Steve? |
| [10:14] | – Hi, I’m St… – No, no, no, no, no. | – 你好 我是… – 别别别别 |
| [10:16] | Don’t tell me about yourself. I’ll tell you about yourself. | 不用自我介绍 且让我来解读你 |
| [10:20] | – You like to eat candy. – Yes! | – 你喜欢吃糖 – 好准 |
| [10:23] | – You don’t have a girlfriend. – No! | – 你没有女朋友 – 没错儿 |
| [10:26] | And you brought me here for some information on… | 你叫我来 是为了得到某种东西的… |
| [10:29] | Some subject. | 信息 |
| [10:31] | Oh, my God, yes! I’m looking for an evil ghost. | 我滴天爷 太对啦 我想找的是一只恶鬼 |
| [10:34] | Where do you think he is? | 你觉得他会在哪儿? |
| [10:36] | Oh! The graveyard. | 坟地吧… |
| [10:38] | I knew it! | 老子就知道 |
| [10:39] | Steve, can’t you see this woman’s playing you? | Steve 你没看出来这女人在耍你嘛? |
| [10:41] | This is bullshit! | 全特么扯淡 |
| [10:42] | Oh, a non-believer. Let me go check in with the other side. | 哟 有个不信邪的 让我与灵界稍微沟通一下 |
| [10:46] | I’m sensing… | 我感应到… |
| [10:47] | Your Grandmother mispronounces words like libary and bafroom. | 你祖奶奶经常错念词 比如”图猪馆” 还有”卫森间” |
| [10:51] | Holy shit! | 我勒个擦 |
| [10:55] | Can I help you? I’m the CEO of this sperm bank, and we are very busy today. | 能为您效劳吗? 我是本精子银行的CEO 今天我们很忙呐 |
| [10:59] | Well, you’re going to get even busier because I need a loan. | 您还得多费心 因为我想借贷精子 |
| [11:04] | Ooh, I can give you a loan. A loan bone. | 我完全可以满足你 直接JJ贷就成 |
| [11:06] | Cut! The line is bone loan. | 停 台词是”借贷JJ” |
| [11:09] | What the hell is a loan bone? | “JJ贷”是毛线玩意儿? |
| [11:10] | I’m having a real problem understanding my character. | 我完全不能理解我的角色 |
| [11:13] | He wants to have sex. | 他想打炮 |
| [11:15] | – Well, what’s his motivation? – To have sex. | – 那动机是什么呢? – 打炮啊 |
| [11:18] | Well, did he have a happy childhood? | 那他童年时代过得幸福不? |
| [11:20] | Just take off your clothes and [Bleep] her in her [Bleep] [Bleep]. | 赶快脱光衣服 狠狠 [哔-] 她 [哔-] 的 [哔-] 就行了 |
| [11:25] | What? I couldn’t hear you over all the beeps. | 说啥呢? 老哔哔响我没听清 |
| [11:29] | Sorry. I was making Taquitos in the microwave. | 不好意思 我在微波牛肉卷 |
| [11:32] | Can someone check his green card? | 来人 查查他有绿卡没 |
| [11:34] | And where the hell do you think you’re going? | 你特么这是要去哪儿? |
| [11:36] | Me? Oh, I’m just gonna go grab lunch while my, uh, body double steps in. | 我啊? 我去吃个午饭 让我的裸替来接班 |
| [11:41] | Wait, you didn’t think I was gonna do a nude scene, did you? | 慢着 你不会是要我本尊全裸出镜吧? |
| [11:44] | If I wanted a shitty actress who wouldn’t show her tits | 如果我要找的是不露咪咪的三流女演员 |
| [11:46] | I would have hired Kevin James. | 我不如去雇Kevin James |
| [11:47] | Oh, I don’t have to take this from you, Malloy. | 我才不要受你这糟心气呢 Malloy |
| [11:49] | – I quit! – Oh, no! How will I ever replace you? | – 老娘不干了 – 哎哟别啊 哪里有人能替代你呀? |
| [11:54] | I could just glue two oranges to a mop. | 老子拿俩桔子粘拖把上就能搞定 |
| [11:56] | You’ll regret this! | 你会后悔的 |
| [11:57] | Nobody walks out on me, you [Bleep]! | 没人敢放爷鸽子的 你个[哔-] |
| [12:00] | I’m sorry. | 对不起啊 |
| [12:02] | The shell is warm and crispy, but the Taquito is still cold on the inside. | 外壳倒是又热又脆了 里面的牛肉还是冷的呢 |
| [12:11] | Steve, you look like a Mexican Astronaut. | Steve 你看起来真像墨西哥来的宇航员 |
| [12:12] | Thank you, but this is not about how bad ass I look. | 谢啦 但这事跟我狂霸酷炫的外表没关系 |
| [12:15] | – This is about vengeance. – Okay. | – 这是复仇啊 – 好吧 |
| [12:18] | Good luck with that vengeance. If you need me, I’ll be home, sleeping. | 祝你复仇顺利啊 要找我的话 我在家里睡觉哟 |
| [12:27] | You ruined my life, you son of a bitch! | 你毁我一生啊 你个王八蛋 |
| [12:30] | Steve, Steve, hold on! I was just messing with you! | Steve Steve 别动手 我跟你闹着玩呢 |
| [12:32] | You morphed into Denzel, huh? | 变成Denzel 你也骗不了我 |
| [12:34] | – You shape-shifting ghost! – Whoa, Steve, it’s me! | – 你个变化多端的妖怪 – Steve 是我本人啦 |
| [12:37] | Ask me something only I would know. | 问点只有我知道的问题嘛 |
| [12:38] | – What’s my last name? – I don’t [Bleep] know. | – 我姓啥? – 我特么怎么知道 |
| [12:40] | – Oh, thank God, it’s you, Denzel. – Man, this is worse than I thought. | – 太好啦 果然是你 Denzel – 靠 这比我想像的还要严重 |
| [12:43] | You need some therapy, Steve. | 你得去找人治治 Steve |
| [12:45] | The only therapy I need is to kill this ghost. | 能治根救本的 只有宰掉那个鬼魂 |
| [12:48] | Steve, there is no… | Steve 世上根本没有… |
| [12:51] | Ghost! | 鬼啊 |
| [12:57] | Could we soften this light a little bit? | 灯光再调柔和点好么? |
| [12:59] | I don’t need or deserve to see every wrinkle on Woody’s sac. | 我不愿也不想看清Woody蛋蛋上的每一道皱纹 |
| [13:03] | If that boom mic gets in the shot one more time, whoa-ho-ho | 如果再把吊挂麦克风打入镜一次 吼吼吼 |
| [13:06] | we’re gonna find out what the inside of your ass sounds like. | 我们就来听听你的屁眼好声音 |
| [13:09] | Probably not good. He ate a whole plate of Taquitos. | 恐怕好不了 他可吃了一整盘的牛肉卷 |
| [13:13] | How did you get back into the country? | 你丫怎么又跑回美国来了 |
| [13:16] | Okay, action! | 好啦 开始 |
| [13:17] | What the hell is this? | 这特么是什么剧本? |
| [13:19] | I did a bunch of coke and rewrote the whole script last night. | 昨晚我吸了大堆白面儿 改写了整个剧本 |
| [13:21] | Just read the cue cards. | 照提词板读就是了 |
| [13:24] | Any last requests, Osama Bin Laden? | 还有什么遗言吗 奥萨马·本·拉登? |
| [13:27] | Yes, infidels, I want you to run a train on me | 有 异教徒们 你们就轮番来弄我吧 |
| [13:30] | with your seal-team dicks or I’ll 69/11 you! | 用上你们海豹突击队的JJ 要不然我就69/11死你们 |
| [13:34] | What? This is bullshit, Malloy! | 什么啊 这完全不是人话 Malloy |
| [13:36] | People just want to see The Rex Rocket! | 观众不就想看我表演飞龙在天吗? |
| [13:38] | You’re right. That was garbage. I’m gonna rewrite the whole script… | 你说得对 剧本太烂了 我还得重写整个剧本 |
| [13:42] | Right now. | 马上开工 |
| [13:49] | Beep-boop, beep-boop, beep. | 哔啵 哔啵 哔 |
| [13:51] | You ordered a pizza from the future? | 您从未来订了个披萨吗? |
| [13:55] | Cut! Woody, stop breathing! Robots don’t breathe. | 停 Woody 别喘气了 机器人是不会喘气的 |
| [14:00] | This is the 100th take. | 这镜头都拍第100条了 |
| [14:03] | Could we stop for a minute? | 咱们休息会儿好不? |
| [14:05] | – I’m tired. – You’re tired? | – 我累了 – 你累了? |
| [14:07] | You’ve flubbed your lines so many times that | 你都演砸了那么多次 |
| [14:08] | Chastity here is starting to question her life choices. | 搞得童贞小妹都开始怀疑人生目标了 |
| [14:11] | I think I might want to go to nursing school. | 我想我应该去上个护士学校 |
| [14:13] | I’m pretty sure they drug test. | 学校绝对要做毒品检验的 |
| [14:15] | Oh, well. | 好 算了 |
| [14:16] | Seriously, something’s wrong. I am in real pain here. | 说真的 不对劲啊 我现在好痛苦 |
| [14:19] | Great! Use it! Action! | 很好 把它用到角色中来 开拍 |
| [14:23] | That was not in the script! | 剧本里可没有这姿势 |
| [14:26] | But it is now. | 现在可以有了 |
| [14:31] | 脆莓医疗中心 Kuzniak医生坐诊 | |
| [14:33] | You’re a very lucky man, Woody. | 还算你走运 Woody |
| [14:34] | Everything’s going to be fine. | 一切都会好起来的 |
| [14:36] | Great! So I can perform? | 太好了 我还能演吗? |
| [14:38] | Of course you can perform… | 当然可以演… |
| [14:40] | In stage plays, Lifetime original movies. | 舞台剧啊 人生频道原创电影啊 |
| [14:42] | Even black face minstrel shows. | 化妆黑人乐队也行 |
| [14:44] | Just not pornography. | 成人动作片就算了吧 |
| [14:46] | You see, Woody, you’re suffering from a rare ailment… | 听着 Woody 你得了一种罕见的病… |
| [14:49] | Multiple scrot cysts. | 阴囊多重囊肿症 |
| [14:50] | I have multiple sclerosis? Shit! | 我得了多重硬化症? 擦 |
| [14:53] | Oh, heavens no. I wish you did. | 错得离谱 只是硬化症就好了 |
| [14:55] | I said, multiple scrot cysts, as in multiple cysts in your scrotum. | 我说的是阴囊多重囊肿症 就是你阴囊里有好多个囊肿 |
| [14:59] | Each cyst is a little, ticking time bomb. | 每个囊肿都是颗活动的定时炸弹 |
| [15:02] | Every single bounce of your ball bag brings you closer to death. | 你两粒蛋蛋每撞击一次 你就离死亡更近一步 |
| [15:05] | Level with me, Doc. | 跟我说实话 大夫 |
| [15:06] | How many thrusts do I have left? | 我还剩几次插插的机会? |
| [15:09] | I can’t give you an exact number, Woody | 这我倒是没法给你准数 Woody |
| [15:11] | but it’s somewhere between, say, 70 and 72. | 但大概就在… 差不多70到72之间吧 |
| [15:15] | So… | 就是… |
| [15:16] | Seventy one? | 71次咯? |
| [15:19] | If only medicine could be that precise. | 医学要能算到这么准那就好了 |
| [15:28] | The ghost! He’s coming for us. | 那个鬼 来抓我们了 |
| [15:31] | – Grab the ghost bats! – Take that, you ghost! | – 快抄打鬼棒 – 吃招吧 死鬼 |
| [15:35] | Take that! | 吃招 |
| [15:36] | Kill that ghost! Kill that ghost! | 干掉死鬼 干掉死鬼 |
| [15:39] | I think we got him! | 我觉得成了 |
| [15:43] | Oh, no! Connie! | 不是吧 Connie |
| [15:44] | The ghost must have beat her up! | 肯定是鬼把她打残的 |
| [15:46] | We beat her up, you dumb ass! | 是我们打残她的 你个傻X |
| [15:47] | It was Connie sleepwalking the whole time! | 从头到尾只是Connie梦游来着 |
| [15:49] | I hate to tell you this, Steve, but that ghost was just | 我不想跟你说 Steve 但那个什么鬼 |
| [15:52] | your alcoholic father beating your mama up on her birthday. | 只是你那个在你妈妈生日打她的酒鬼老爸 |
| [15:56] | Sorry, I was zoning out. I didn’t hear anything you just said. | 不好意思 我走神了 你刚说啥没听见 |
| [15:59] | Steve, it wasn’t a ghost! It was your dad the whole time! | Steve 根本没有鬼 从头到尾都是你老爸 |
| [16:05] | Damn it. Happened again. I didn’t hear anything after the word Steve. | 我倒 又走神了 Steve后面说的啥全没听见 |
| [16:09] | You just had a shitty dad! | 你有个老爸很操蛋 |
| [16:14] | Sorry, I was holding in a fart. | 抱歉 我在憋屁 |
| [16:16] | I give up. | 我放弃治疗 |
| [16:23] | Denzel, I just realized something. | Denzel 我忽然全懂了 |
| [16:25] | It was my dad the whole time. | 从头到尾都是我老爸 |
| [16:27] | There is no ghost. | 世上根本没有鬼 |
| [16:30] | Hey, Steve, long time no see. | 嘿 Steve 好久不见了啊 |
| [16:33] | Remember when I stole your Christmas presents | 还记得我偷走你的圣诞礼物吗? |
| [16:35] | and made the bank foreclose on your house? | 让银行没收你家房子 |
| [16:38] | Good times. Hey, give this to you mom for me. | 爽死了 嘿 帮我把这个送你妈去 |
| [16:47] | I’m sorry, Snugglewubs, but I just can’t do porn anymore. | 对不住了 小毛球 但我真的没法再演动作片了 |
| [16:50] | Doctor’s orders. It kills me more than anyone. | 要遵医嘱 这次我真的是吓怕了 |
| [16:53] | You rest up, Woody. I completely understand. | 好好歇着吧 Woody 我完全理解 |
| [16:55] | Besides, I already found your replacement. | 再说 我也已经找好你的替补了 |
| [16:58] | Yo, yo, yo, Duke Dick in the father-suckin’ house. | 哟哟哟 鸡动公爵驾临 蓬荜生辉 |
| [17:02] | Ooh, hell no! I ain’t done yet! | 不行噢 老子还没玩完呢 |
| [17:05] | It’s time to bust ass! | 让我们引蛇入洞吧 |
| [17:08] | Action! | 开拍 |
| [17:22] | No! No, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no! | 不行 别 别别 别别别别别别 |
| [17:29] | All right, Woody, this is your final scene. | 好了 Woody 这一场可是杀青戏 |
| [17:32] | Oh, it better be. | 最好是 |
| [17:33] | This is the 93rd rewrite of this movie… today! | 这可都是第93次改剧本了 光今儿一天 |
| [17:37] | I know you’re tired, but nail this shot | 我知道你很累 但搞定这场戏 |
| [17:39] | and Rex Erection will never be forgotten again. | 坚挺Rex就绝对不会被遗忘第二次 |
| [17:42] | Time for The Rex Rocket. You ready? | 是时候飞龙在天了 你准备好没? |
| [17:47] | It’s time to… | 让我们… |
| [17:50] | Bust ass! | 引蛇入洞 |
| [17:51] | The Rex Rocket! | 飞龙在天 |
| [17:58] | Oh, my God, he’s dead and still in me! | 天啊 他死翘翘了 还插着我呢 |
| [18:01] | Gross! | 恶心 |
| [18:01] | And that’s how you direct a snuff film. Perfect! | 色情凶杀片就是这么导出来的 完美 |
| [18:08] | The world mourns today | 全球今天沉痛悼念 |
| [18:09] | as beloved pornographic film star Rex Erection has died. | 深受爱戴的成人动作片影星坚挺Rex悄然西辞 |
| [18:14] | A true innovator, he developed specialized coitus procedures. | 一位真正的革新者 是他发展了精专的性爱姿势 |
| [18:18] | Like the Clam Slam… | 例如 撬蛤蜊 |
| [18:20] | The Drippy Pickle… | 滴水腌瓜 |
| [18:22] | The Nancy Reagan. | 南希·里根式 |
| [18:23] | And his signature, Rex Rocket. | 及其标志姿势 飞龙在天 |
| [18:26] | One thing is for certain… | 有一点是可以肯定的 |
| [18:28] | The legacy of Rex Erection will live on forever. | 坚挺Rex的传奇将永垂不朽 |
| [18:32] | We now join the Boney Awards, already in progress. | 下面转入色情大奖现场 正在进行中 |
| [18:37] | Ladies and gentlemen, here are the porn actors and actresses we lost this year. | 女士们先生们 以下是今年离开我们的成人动作片演员 |
| [18:49] | 木耳Bridget 死于艾滋病 | |
| [18:52] | 凸起Teddy 死于艾滋病 | |
| [18:57] | 柔韧Sydney 死于艾滋并发症 | |
| [18:59] | 栗色Buster 死于车祸 | |
| [19:01] | 栗色Buster 开玩笑啦 | |
| [19:02] | 栗色Buster 死于艾滋病 | |
| [19:06] | 坚挺Rex 死于把身体贡献给 | |
| [19:07] | 坚挺Rex 死于把身体贡献给 携带典型艾滋病的 | |
| [19:09] | 坚挺Rex 死于把身体贡献给 携带典型艾滋病的 同性恋大象 | |
| [19:12] | And now, to present the Boney for best actor! | 下面 揭晓最佳色情演员 |
| [19:15] | Please welcome Flesh Devil, the leather-bound midget freak. | 掌声有请 裹皮革侏儒精 肉身·恶魔 |
| [19:19] | And academy award winner Susan Sarandon. | 以及奥斯卡金像奖得主 苏珊·萨兰登 |
| [19:25] | Susan, it is said that a good porn actor invites the audience to come. | 苏珊 有道是 优秀的动作片演员可以招来观众捧场 |
| [19:30] | Yes, Flesh Devil, but a great porn actor also invites the audience to feel. | 没错 肉身·恶魔 但伟大的动作片演员可以引发观众共鸣 |
| [19:37] | The Boney Award for best actor goes to… | 色请大奖最佳演员获得者… |
| [19:40] | Rex Erection! | 坚挺Rex |
| [19:49] | He wasn’t sexy or handsome, he was a horrible actor | 他既不性感也不洒脱 演技更是烂到家 |
| [19:52] | but you guys will jerk off to anything. | 但给你们看啥 你们都傻美 |
| [19:54] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [19:57] | This is bullshit! | 都特么扯淡 |
| [19:58] | Everyone knows Duke is the greatest of all time! | 谁不承认我公爵才是史上最佳?! |
| [20:02] | That’s not the one I take home, is it? | 这个不是要我带回家那座吧? |
| [20:08] | I can’t believe Woody’s gone. | 不敢相信Woody走了 |
| [20:10] | Do you have any idea what he left me in his will? | 猜得到他在遗嘱里都留给我什么了么? |
| [20:12] | His love. Oh, isn’t that sweet? | 他的爱 哎呦 多贴心呐 |
| [20:14] | Hope you rot in hell, cheap old man. | 祝你丫朽死在地狱 老贱男 |
| [20:19] | Connie, what happened to you? | Connie 你怎么这样了? |
| [20:21] | Steve said a ghost got me, then Denzel said the ghost left | Steve说我被鬼逮了 Denzel说鬼又跑了 |
| [20:23] | and there’s no use investigating the situation any further. | 然后就没有然后了 |
| [20:26] | Howdy, Rangers. It’s time to bust ass! | 好耶 林警们 我们来引蛇入洞吧 |
| [20:30] | What the… | 我了个… |
| [20:31] | I faked my own death so Rex Erection’s legacy could live on forever. | 我假死了一下下 好让坚挺Rex的传奇万古长青 |
| [20:35] | I wasn’t about to let Duke Dick steal everything I worked for! | 老子可不会让鸡动公爵偷走老子奋斗来的一切 |
| [20:38] | But there was a body in the casket that we buried. | 可棺材盒里确实有个死人让我们给埋了 |
| [20:42] | Oh, yeah. That was some homeless Navajo I found passed out behind Quiznos. | 是啦 我在奎兹诺斯后面发现一个昏倒的纳瓦伙流浪汉 |
| [20:47] | What? I gave him 50 bucks. | 咋了? 我给他50块呢 |
| [20:49] | Sorry we’re late. | 抱歉我们晚了 |
| [20:50] | Ghost! | 鬼啊 |
| [20:51] | Quick! Grab the ghost bats! | 快 抄打鬼棒 |