| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:13] | Hell yeah! | 真特么爽 |
| [00:16] | That’s it? I guess I gotta pull out the big guns. | 这就完了? 得整个大家伙事儿呀 |
| [00:23] | Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing? | 嘿 你特么在那儿干嘛吗? |
| [00:25] | Huh? Fishing, dumbass! I’m Firecracker Jim, God damn it! | 啥? 打渔呢 傻X 我是火爆Jim 你大爷的 |
| [00:30] | Fishing? With dynamite? | 打渔? 用炸药? |
| [00:32] | Yeah. You signed the damn permit. | 是啊 你给我签了许可的 |
| [00:34] | I need to start reading those things. | 我可得开始读读那些玩意了 |
| [00:37] | Don’t worry. I’m an explosives expert. | 甭担心 我是爆破专家来着 |
| [00:42] | Shit! | 卧槽 |
| [01:03] | Oh, my God! It’s a miracle! | 上帝啊 奇迹发生了 |
| [01:06] | You’re damn right it is. I can touch my Peter! | 你可真特么对 我能抚摸我二弟了 |
| [01:24] | We’re all gonna miss Edith. | 我们沉痛缅怀Edith |
| [01:25] | I feel so lucky that I got to know my great-great-grandmother. | 有生之年能见到我的曾曾祖母 我感到幸运万分 |
| [01:29] | – Thank you all for coming. I know… – Wait, wait, wait. | – 感谢在座都能前来… – 等一下 等一下 |
| [01:31] | I’d like to say a few words. | 我要说几句 |
| [01:37] | Edith was very special to me. | Edith对我而言很特别 |
| [01:39] | Every time we made sweet love was like our first time | 每一次我俩甜蜜爱爱 感觉都仿若初夜 |
| [01:43] | at least for her. She had Alzheimer’s. | 至少对她如此 她老年痴呆 |
| [01:45] | Who the [Bleep] is this guy? | 这货特么谁啊? |
| [01:47] | She used to love my poetry. | 她曾很喜欢我的诗 |
| [01:50] | Here’s one more for you, Edith. | 还有一首献给你 Edith |
| [01:52] | Edith was a little racist. | Edith有点种族主义 |
| [01:54] | She said she did not like black faces. | 她说她不喜欢黑黑的脸庞 |
| [01:56] | But I had a black part that she loved with her heart | 但我的那根黑又硬 她可是心心相映 |
| [02:00] | and that part broke her hip in five places. | 那玩意进出了五次她的肛肛 |
| [02:05] | Beautiful. Just beautiful. | 漂亮 真是漂亮 |
| [02:11] | I’m sorry, Denzel. | 真窝心 Denzel |
| [02:12] | Looks like you’re taking Edith’s death pretty hard, huh? | 看来你对Edith的死确实感到很难过吧? |
| [02:15] | What? No. She was 112 years old. | 才没有呢 她都112岁了 |
| [02:17] | That bitch should’ve been dead 30 years ago. | 这老婊子早在三十年前就该死了 |
| [02:20] | I’m sad because I made love to the oldest woman on Earth. | 我难过 是因为我上过全世界最老的女人了 |
| [02:23] | I’ve done it all now. Where do I go from here? | 都已经玩过了 以后可该怎么办呢? |
| [02:26] | Hell? | 去死? |
| [02:29] | So, what’s this big, important news? | 所谓重大消息是什么呢? |
| [02:31] | Yeah, Woody, what are we doing… | 是啊 Woody 我们要干什… |
| [02:34] | Yes Yes! | |
| [02:40] | Oh, my God. She’s completely healed. | 上帝啊 她又满血复活了 |
| [02:42] | And my rash is gone. | 而且疹子全没了 |
| [02:44] | I wonder if it cures bitch. | 我在想能不能治好婊子 |
| [02:48] | I think my hymen just grew back. | 我想我的处女膜又长回来了 |
| [02:51] | Don’t worry. It’ll be gone after happy hour. | 别担心 寻欢作乐完就会又不见的 |
| [02:53] | Rangers, old Woody has discovered a miracle. | 林警们 老Woody发现了这个奇迹 |
| [02:56] | As you can see, this lake cures any ailment, from the common cold to cancer. | 正如你们所见 这湖可以治愈任何疾病 上到癌症下到感冒 |
| [03:00] | You could have just told us. | 你直接告诉我们不就完了 |
| [03:01] | Yeah, sure, but this way was more fun. | 当然 不过这种方式更好玩嘛 |
| [03:04] | How were you sure it would work? | 你怎么确定一定有效呢? |
| [03:05] | Connie could have… | Connie可能… |
| [03:08] | I could get used to this. | 这事我会玩顺手的 |
| [03:09] | There must be a scientific explanation. | 肯定会有一个科学解释的吧 |
| [03:11] | Yeah, asshole, there is. | 是啊 混球 有解释 |
| [03:13] | I was chosen by God to heal the sick. | 我被上帝选中来治愈病患 |
| [03:16] | And another reason not to believe in God. | 另一个不去相信上帝的理由 |
| [03:18] | The Lord works in mysterious ways, and right now, he wants me to be rich. | 上帝做什么都喜欢神秘 而现在 他想让我发财 |
| [03:23] | Sick people, lost souls, deep pockets, blah blah blah. | 得病 失意 发财 吧啦 吧啦 吧啦 |
| [03:25] | Religion equals money! Now, we’ve got a lot of work to do. | 宗教就意味着赚钱 这下我们可有事做了 |
| [03:28] | Work? You were supposed to take me snowboarding today. | 做事? 你今天应该是要带我去滑雪的 |
| [03:30] | Sorry. No time, Cubbykins. | 抱歉啦 没空啦 小萌萌 |
| [03:32] | Daddy is God’s prophet now, and I do plan to profit. | 爸爸是上帝的代言人了 我得琢磨怎么从中获利 |
| [03:37] | Yeah. Another scam that’ll blow up in your face. | 是啊 另一件会惹得一身骚的丑事 |
| [03:40] | I want to shred the slopes like Shaun White. | 我想像Shaun White那样驰骋雪坡 |
| [03:42] | He gets lots of ass for an ugly woman. | 他凭这个得到了一堆丑女 |
| [03:44] | Shred the slope? You’ve never even seen snow. | 驰骋雪坡? 你压根没见过雪好不好 |
| [03:47] | Wait. You’ve never seen snow? | 等下 你从来没见过雪? |
| [03:49] | Could somebody explain to the diversity hire that bears hibernate? | 谁来给解释一下物种的差异性 之 熊类冬眠? |
| [03:51] | That means sleep for a long time, Denzel, something you should be familiar with. | 这表示要睡很长的一觉 Denzel 你应该对此很熟悉了 |
| [03:55] | Take it easy on Denzel. | 不要难为Denzel了 |
| [03:56] | He’s had a rough day… | 他今天过得不好… |
| [03:59] | What’s wrong, Denzel? | 怎么了 Denzel? |
| [04:00] | Ever since I was a little boy, I had a dream. | 打我小时候起 我就有一个梦想 |
| [04:03] | And then, I realized that dream. | 后来 我实现了这个梦想 |
| [04:06] | And now… | 而现在… |
| [04:07] | Shit! | 卧槽 |
| [04:09] | Sorry, I couldn’t listen to any more of that. | 不好意思 屁话什么的真心听不下去 |
| [04:12] | God, this would be so much more satisfying if that lake wasn’t there. | 上帝啊 要是没有那个复活湖 我是得有多开心呀 |
| [04:14] | Connie, Steve, go round up every sick, gullible | Connie Steve 去找那些病入膏肓 轻信人言 |
| [04:17] | emotionally needy, dumbass, lonely loser with a bank account. | 寂寞空虚 傻里傻气 还有那些有点存款的屌丝们 |
| [04:20] | Denzel, Ethel, take Malloy up the mountain to snowboard. | Denzel Ethel 带Malloy去山上滑雪 |
| [04:23] | Stat! | 赶紧的 |
| [04:24] | So, that’s it? You’re gonna exploit this lake? | 所以 就这样了? 你要开发这个湖? |
| [04:27] | Exploit the lake and help the sick and disabled. | 开发这个湖并帮助那些病人和残废 |
| [04:30] | Imagine what they’ll do with a new lease on life. | 想想他们重获新生后会做些什么吧 |
| [04:35] | Oh, my God! | 我滴神啊 |
| [04:37] | Honey, ever since I blew my arms and legs off, I’ve been dying to do this. | 亲爱的 自打炸掉了胳膊腿之后 我一直在想着做这事 |
| [04:44] | Oh, Lord! | 天啊 |
| [04:47] | Oh, God, yeah. | 天 爽 |
| [04:49] | Oh, Jim! Oh, Lord! | Jim 上帝啊 |
| [04:52] | Jim Oh, Jim! | |
| [04:59] | Damn. Malloy, are you really gonna use all this junk? | 见鬼 Malloy 你确定这些破烂都能派上用场? |
| [05:01] | Are you really gonna bitch the whole way up this mountain? | 你是不是要一路磨叽到山顶啊? |
| [05:03] | All right, almost there… You spoiled little shit. | 好了 快到了 你个娇生惯养的小杂种 |
| [05:07] | – Little what’d you say? – I said, “nice hat.” | – 你说我小什么? – 我说你小帽子不错 |
| [05:09] | Oh, thank you. | 噢 谢谢哦 |
| [05:12] | Okay, we’re here. | 好了 到了 |
| [05:14] | Watch this. | 看好了 |
| [05:17] | All right. I can’t snowboard. | 得了 我不会滑雪 |
| [05:20] | And I can’t stand this white, cold stuff. | 更受不了这堆又白又冷的玩意儿 |
| [05:22] | Uh, that’s snow. | 呃 那是雪 |
| [05:23] | This is snow? You should’ve told me! | 这就是雪? 早说嘛 |
| [05:25] | It sucks! Let’s get out of here. | 真无聊 鸣金收兵吧 |
| [05:27] | That’s it? A five-hour hike for that? | 完了? 爬五个小时这就完事了? |
| [05:29] | No, uh-uh. We ain’t leaving this spot till you build a snowman or some shit. | 别逗乐了 既然来了至少也得堆个雪人啥的才能走 |
| [05:36] | Guys, I found some rope. | 伙计们 我这里有绳子 |
| [05:39] | You’ll probably want to hang yourself before you freeze to death. | 你们或许会考虑在冻死之前把自己吊死 |
| [05:46] | All right, this isn’t so hard. | 矮油 没啥难度嘛 |
| [05:50] | Praise Jesus and good morning! | 赞美耶稣并向您问早安 |
| [05:54] | We’d like to tell you about Miracle Lake. | 请允许我们向您介绍奇迹之湖 |
| [05:58] | Praise jes… | 赞美耶… |
| [05:59] | Praise… prai… | 赞美… 赞… |
| [06:01] | – Praise Jesus, and good mor… – Let me stop you right there. | – 赞美耶稣并向您问早… – 先让我们说吧 |
| [06:04] | – We’re Scientologists. – Come on in. We’ll tell you about it. | – 我们是山达基教徒 – 进来吧 我们给你们讲讲 |
| [06:04] | 又称科学神教和科学教派等 新兴宗教之一 由美国科幻小说作家L·罗恩·贺伯特创立的信仰系统 | |
| [06:07] | Oh, no, scientology is only for the weak-minded. We’re not falling for that. | 快得了吧 低能才会信山达基教 我们不买你们的账 |
| [06:11] | I can’t believe we’re Scientologists now. | 难以置信我们也是山达基教徒了 |
| [06:14] | Don’t worry, I’m sure we can quit any time we want. | 别担心 我想我们随时都可以脱离教会 |
| [06:17] | What the hell are you doing here? | 你们在这儿搞什么鬼? |
| [06:18] | We’re here to spread our message of peace and love. | 我们是来传播我们和平与爱的信息的 |
| [06:21] | Oh, no, you don’t! | 想都别想 |
| [06:22] | We’re spreading our message of peace and love, you [Bleep]suckers! | 先让我们传播我们和平与爱的信息 衰鬼们 |
| [06:31] | “Abraham begat Isaac, Isaac begat Jacob.” | “亚伯拉罕生以撒 以撒生雅各” |
| [06:34] | Woody “be-gatting” a headache! | 而Woody”生”头疼 |
| [06:36] | God! Why the hell did you write this gibberish? | 上帝啊 你丫写这狗屁不通的玩意搞毛? |
| [06:41] | Oh, hey, Malloy. Where’s Ethel and Denzel? | 嘿 Malloy Ethel和Denzel跑哪去了? |
| [06:43] | Freezing to death in an ice cave. | 在冰窟窿里等着冻死呢 |
| [06:46] | Ice cave, that’s nice. | 冰窟窿 不错 |
| [06:47] | Good morning, brothers and sisters! | 早上好 兄弟姐妹们 |
| [06:49] | – You suck! – Okay. | – 你弱爆了 – 好吧 |
| [06:52] | Welcome to the Miracle Lake Church of God, his holy mistress Mary, and their love child, the baby Jesus. | 欢迎来到上帝 圣母玛利亚 和他们的爱子耶稣创立的奇迹之湖教 |
| [06:57] | Please put your praying hands together! | 请把你们祈祷的手合拢 |
| [07:00] | And welcome to the stage God’s BFF… | 来欢迎上帝最好的好朋友 |
| [07:04] | Reverend Woody! | Woody神父 |
| [07:06] | Amen! Hallelujah! | 阿门 哈利路亚 |
| [07:11] | Miracles? Oh, brothers and sisters, have I seen miracles! | 奇迹? 兄弟姐妹们 奇迹就在我的眼前 |
| [07:16] | Like when, uh… shit, uh, like when Moses turned, uh, fish into wine. | 比如 呃 见鬼 就如摩西把鱼变成酒 |
| [07:22] | Or like when the Holy Ghost gave birth to Adam and Eve. | 又如圣灵生下亚当和夏娃 |
| [07:26] | Who’s with me? | 谁和我一起来? |
| [07:29] | Hey, I didn’t write this crap, okay? | 这玩意不是我写的 别怨我行不? |
| [07:31] | The point is, this lake before you is the greatest miracle of all. | 我要说的是 你们面前的湖是上苍最大的奇迹 |
| [07:35] | Well, what do we have here? | 面前的这位是谁呢? |
| [07:37] | – I’m blind. – I can see that. I’m not blind. | – 我是瞎子 – 看出来了 我又不是瞎子 |
| [07:41] | Now, what can I do you for? Fix your bum knee or something? | 我能为你做点什么? 帮你治好膝盖还是别的? |
| [07:46] | Okay, okay. You don’t have to get an attitude. | 好吧 好吧 火气别这么大 |
| [07:49] | By the power of Grayskull, alakazam! Poom! | 以骷髅王以及胡地之名 我推 |
| [07:57] | It’s a miracle! I can see! I can see! | 真是奇迹 看见了 我能看见了 |
| [08:02] | But I can’t swim. | 但我不会游泳 |
| [08:05] | Oh, my God, I’ve got to start getting the money up front. | 天呐 看来我得准备改在治疗前收钱了 |
| [08:11] | All right, I’m in. | 好嘞 我来咯 |
| [08:13] | Jesus saves, but he doesn’t trust banks. | 耶稣救命 但他不信任银行 |
| [08:16] | Cash only, people. | 只收现金 各位 |
| [08:21] | This is by far the best idea I’ve ever had. | 这是我有生以来想过最棒的点子 |
| [08:23] | What? Your idea? | 什么? 你的点子? |
| [08:24] | But this is small potatoes. Real evangelists make big money. | 但这只是蝇头小利 真正的传道者挣的是大钱 |
| [08:27] | I’ll whip you into shape. | 我来鞭策你上道吧 |
| [08:30] | In the beginning, God created heaven and heaven. | 在创世之初 上帝创造了天堂和天堂 |
| [08:33] | Earth! You hesitated. | 大地 反应迟钝 |
| [08:35] | Real evangelists know the Bible front… | 真正的传道者能把圣经倒背… |
| [08:37] | To back. | 如流 |
| [08:39] | Jesus Christ! | 我的老天 |
| [08:42] | Good. Crying on command. That’s lesson two. | 很好 前脚令下后脚哭 第二堂课完毕 |
| [08:45] | Now let’s cover showmanship. | 现在来弥补演技不足 |
| [08:47] | Dance! | 跳吧 |
| [08:50] | Faster! | 跳快点 |
| [08:53] | Enough! Even God rested on the fourth day! | 够了 上帝都能在周四休息呢 |
| [08:57] | Ow! Seventh! | 是周末 |
| [09:02] | Where are we? | 我们在哪? |
| [09:03] | We fell into some kind of ice cavern. | 貌似是掉进冰窟窿里了 |
| [09:06] | This must have been a glacier, frozen over years ago. | 这儿肯定有条多年之前形成的冰河 |
| [09:10] | Oh, my God. | 我的老天 |
| [09:13] | That looks like a Neanderthal woman frozen in ice. | 那看上去像是被冻进冰里的穴居女人 |
| [09:16] | She must be at least 400,000 years old. | 她肯定起码有40万岁了 |
| [09:20] | Uh, that’s more than 112, right? | 那比112岁要大 对吧? |
| [09:21] | Yeah. First off, we’ve got to… hey! What are you doing? | 是啊 首先 我们得… 嘿 你搞什么鬼呢? |
| [09:25] | Oh, I’m [Bleep] this bitch. | 我要上这贱人 |
| [09:29] | Lights go up. | 开灯 |
| [09:33] | Cue the music. | 放音乐 |
| [09:34] | Cue the blacks. | 黑人唱诗班 |
| [09:37] | ♪ Let me tell you a little story about this here lake. ♪ | ♪ 让我和你小叙这湖的来头 ♪ |
| [09:42] | ♪ Talking about Miracle Lake. ♪ | ♪ 这是奇迹之湖 ♪ |
| [09:44] | ♪ Michael J. Fox jumped in now he don’t shake. ♪ | ♪ 迈克尔·J·福克斯跳进去就停了抖抖 ♪ |
| [09:48] | ♪ Talking about Miracle Lake. ♪ | ♪ 这是奇迹之湖 ♪ |
| [09:50] | ♪ We got Stephen Hawking, walking, and talking. ♪ | ♪ 我们还让史蒂芬·霍金会走会说了 ♪ |
| [09:57] | ♪ Miracle Lake. ♪ | ♪ 奇迹之湖 ♪ |
| [09:58] | ♪ Miracle Lake. ♪ | ♪ 奇迹之湖 ♪ |
| [10:00] | ♪Miracle Lake. | ♪ 奇迹之湖 ♪ |
| [10:01] | ♪If you got cancer, this lake’s the answer. ♪ | ♪ 如果你患癌 湖水把忧排 ♪ |
| [10:05] | ♪ Miracle Lake. ♪ | ♪ 奇迹之湖 ♪ |
| [10:06] | ♪ You got Crohn’s disease, well put your mind at ease. ♪ | ♪ 得了克隆病 湖水救你命 ♪ |
| [10:10] | ♪ Miracle Lake. ♪ | ♪ 奇迹之湖 ♪ |
| [10:11] | ♪ If you’ve got glaucoma, well make yourself at home. ♪ | ♪ 患上青光眼 湖里呆久点 ♪ |
| [10:15] | ♪ Miracle Lake. ♪ | ♪ 奇迹之湖 ♪ |
| [10:16] | ♪ Thrombosis, cirrhosis, it will change your prognosis. ♪ | ♪ 肝硬化啊脑血栓 病痛全部一扫光 ♪ |
| [10:20] | ♪ Miracle Lake. ♪ | ♪ 奇迹之湖 ♪ |
| [10:21] | ♪ You’ve got irritable bowel, jump in, grab a towel. ♪ | ♪ 肠道易激胃不适 跳进湖里帮你治 ♪ |
| [10:25] | ♪ Miracle Lake. ♪ | ♪ 奇迹之湖 ♪ |
| [10:26] | ♪ If you have leukemia… ♪ | ♪ 如果你有白血病 ♪ |
| [10:29] | Bulimia? “Emphysemia”? | 贪食症? 气肿… |
| [10:33] | Screw it! Just jump in! | 押毛韵啊 都跳进去吧 |
| [10:40] | ♪ Take me to the water right now. ♪ | ♪ 让我下水消病痛 ♪ |
| [10:43] | ♪ Jump on in it’s a Miracle. ♪ | ♪ 湖里洗洗更健康 ♪ |
| [10:46] | ♪ Yeah, Lord! ♪ | ♪ 赞美上帝 ♪ |
| [10:49] | ♪ Miracle! ♪ | ♪ 奇迹 ♪ |
| [10:59] | I can’t believe we made the greatest archaeological find of all time | 真不敢相信我们找到了考古史上最重大的发现 |
| [11:03] | and you just want to bang it. | 可你满脑子只想去搞它 |
| [11:05] | – Yeah. What’s wrong with that? – Everything, you freaking weirdo! | – 没错啊 有什么问题吗? – 节操丧尽啦 你个死变态 |
| [11:08] | And, in case you didn’t notice, we’re trapped. | 而且 你好像没注意到 我们被困了 |
| [11:10] | We could die in here! Don’t you get it? | 可能得死在这儿 还没搞懂状况啊? |
| [11:12] | Oh, I’m about to get it. No condoms. | 搞是要搞滴 不戴套地搞嘛 |
| [11:15] | Where’d you get all this stuff? | 这些玩意儿都哪儿来的? |
| [11:17] | Oh, I never leave home without my emergency sex pack. | “野炮应急套装”我可是每天随身携带的 |
| [11:21] | Excuse me. I got business to take care of. | 失陪啦 哥有点事要去搞定一下 |
| [11:26] | Now, baby, I know you probably feeling a little jetlagged | 亲爱的 你来到了四十万年后的未来 |
| [11:30] | by traveling 400,000 years into the future, so let me catch you up. | 难免还没倒好时差 我来帮你补下历史 |
| [11:34] | Dinosaurs are dead, we landed on the moon | 恐龙死绝了 人类上月亮了 |
| [11:36] | and they made a sequel to Dirty Dancing called Havana Nights. | 《辣身舞》拍续集《情迷哈瓦那》了 |
| [11:40] | Now let’s get down to business. | 现在咱们办正事儿吧 |
| [11:42] | I’m gonna make you feel right at home, girl. | 哥哥要好好把你办踏实了 妹子 |
| [11:44] | Oh, yabba dabba do me! | 哇啦吧啦 来整我吧 |
| [11:49] | Got it! Not a Flintstones fan. | 明白明白 你不好野人这口 |
| [11:54] | Hey, where are the key lights? | 嘿 主灯光到位没有? |
| [11:56] | Careful with the stained glass. | 彩绘玻璃小心点抬啊 |
| [11:57] | Come on, people, TV crews are covering this live. | 麻溜点儿啊 大家 电视可是要直播呢 |
| [12:00] | Just think of how much more money we’ll make | 想想看 有数以百万的病人 |
| [12:02] | when millions of people see firsthand what a gentle, godly man I really am. | 前来瞻仰优雅圣洁的我 咱们可以赚个够啦 |
| [12:07] | Who’s that Dick on a stick? | 绑在棍上那傻X谁啊? |
| [12:09] | I wanted a blue-eyed Jesus, not a Jew-guy Jesus! | 我要的是蓝眼睛耶稣 别弄犹太人版的 |
| [12:13] | I feel like I’m praying to my goddamn accountant! | 弄得老子像对着自己会计祈祷似的 |
| [12:15] | – How much did all this cost? – I don’t know! A shitload. Ask my accountant. | – 这些东西花了多少钱啊? – 我怎么知道 花了一大把 问我会计去 |
| [12:19] | The man is right. It cost a shitload. | 他说得没错 花了一大把呢 |
| [12:25] | I have to apologize for my behavior a little earlier. | 我必须为我刚才的粗鲁向你道歉 |
| [12:28] | Let’s get to know each other. | 咱们慢慢了解彼此吧 |
| [12:29] | Denzel Denzel. | |
| [12:31] | – Krog. – Krog? That’s a beautiful name. | – Krog – Krog? 真是个好听的名字 |
| [12:35] | No! Stop! Let me go! | 要死要死 放开放开 |
| [12:38] | Man, what the hell? | 靠 搞毛啊? |
| [12:40] | Oh, I see. | 我明白了 |
| [12:41] | Y’all liked it rough back in the ice age. Okay. | 你们这些冰河世纪过来的就喜欢玩点重口 没问题啊 |
| [12:45] | Krog like talking shadow. | Krog喜欢会说话的小黑影儿 |
| [12:47] | That’s racist as hell, but I like it. | 这话真够种族歧视的 但是我喜欢 |
| [12:49] | Krog give happy cave to you. | Krog让你进”快乐洞洞” |
| [12:52] | Damn! That’s some B.C. bush right there. | 我擦 这简直就是史前大草丛 |
| [12:59] | Okay, how do you like it? | 好吧 你想怎么玩呢? |
| [13:00] | Maybe we start out Missionary, and then… | 咱们先男上女下 然后… |
| [13:04] | Take it easy! Take it easy! | 慢点慢点 轻点轻点 |
| [13:07] | Slow up! It don’t bend that way! | 慢点来 那东西不能那样折 |
| [13:10] | That was wonderful, baby. I wish I could stay here forever. | 刚才真是太爽了 宝贝 真希望我能永远呆在这里 |
| [13:14] | Denzel, I made it to the top! | Denzel 我爬到洞口了 |
| [13:17] | Gotta go! | 闪人咯 |
| [13:21] | Yep, that’s right, Guinness Book of World Records! | 对 没错儿 吉尼斯世界纪录 |
| [13:23] | 400,000 years old. | 四十万岁 |
| [13:25] | Herman, Paddy, Liam! A new world record! | Herman Paddy Liam 新的世界纪录诞生了 |
| [13:28] | Oldest white woman [Bleep] by a black man! | 黑人搞过的年龄最大的白种女人 |
| [13:35] | That’s done. | 这事算搞定了 |
| [13:38] | What? What are you doing here? | 啊? 你来这儿干嘛? |
| [13:39] | Krog love. We mate for life. | Krog爱你 我们 终身伴侣 |
| [13:42] | What you talking about, Krog? | 你说些什么胡话啊 Krog? |
| [13:45] | My chillins, if you want to heal, you’ve got to give. | 我的兄弟姐妹们 要想得救 先得解囊 |
| [13:50] | You gotta give till it hurts! | 花钱花到肉疼才能得救 |
| [13:52] | You gotta give until you say, “ow!” | 必须要疼到你嗷嗷叫 |
| [13:55] | Your kids don’t need Christmas. The Devil made up Christmas! | 熊孩子才不需要圣诞节 圣诞节是魔鬼瞎编的 |
| [13:59] | What’s a college education got on spiritual rejuvenation? | 大学学位对于心灵救赎有个毛用 |
| [14:05] | Ooh, all material things are evil! | 物质消费都是邪恶的 |
| [14:08] | Except for the Jesus jet, which is awesome! | 除了耶稣号专机 这才是好东西 |
| [14:12] | Oh, brothers and sisters, it’s healing time! | 兄弟姐妹们啊 治愈时间已到 |
| [14:17] | Who’s first? | 谁先来? |
| [14:19] | Me, me! Pick me! | 我 我 选我 |
| [14:21] | We’ve got a harelip here. I repeat, a harelip. | 这里有个兔唇男 重复一遍 兔唇男 |
| [14:24] | This guy is a gold mine. A hilarious gold mine. | 这货可是大金矿 喜感十足的大金矿 |
| [14:26] | And what is your name, my son? | 孩子 你叫什么名字? |
| [14:29] | Menjamin Mippman. | “饼”吉明 “咪”普曼 |
| [14:30] | His name is Cinnamon Biscuit. | 他说他叫作肉桂小饼干 |
| [14:32] | By the power vested in me by God! And Mel Gibson’s movies! | 以上帝和梅尔·吉布森电影赐予我的神力 |
| [14:38] | I now pronounce you healed! | 我就此宣布 你的病治好了 |
| [14:43] | – Oh, did it nerk? – What the…? You’re healed again! | – 有效果没? – 搞毛… 你再一次被治好了 |
| [14:49] | Did it nerk nat nime? | 这次有用没? |
| [14:50] | Heal, heal, you harelipped son of a bitch! | 快痊愈啊 快好啊 你个兔唇崽子 |
| [14:54] | Heal! | 给我痊愈 |
| [14:58] | Uh, Cinnamon, you okay? | 肉桂哥 你还好吗? |
| [15:01] | Mr. Biscuits? Mr. Biscuits! | 小饼干先生 小饼干先生 |
| [15:06] | Oh, great, it worked that time. My harelip is gone. | 太好啦 真管用呀 我的兔唇不见啦 |
| [15:09] | See? I can speak normal now. | 看 我都能好好说话啦 |
| [15:11] | I don’t sound ridiculous no more. | 听起来再也不会奇怪了 |
| [15:14] | Praise Jesus! Another miracle! | 赞美耶稣 又一个奇迹 |
| [15:17] | He stole our money! Get him! | 他偷了我们的钱 抓住他 |
| [15:23] | What are you doing? | 你们要干嘛? |
| [15:24] | Hey! No! | 嘿 别介 |
| [15:26] | Come on, man! | 不至于 大伙 |
| [15:28] | People, please. | 诸位 拜托 |
| [15:29] | Is this any way to treat a man of God? | 怎能如此对待上帝的使者呢? |
| [15:31] | Yeah, what if they had done this to Jesus? | 要是人们对耶稣下此狠手 你们怎么想? |
| [15:34] | Shut the [Bleep] up, Steve. | 闭你丫的臭嘴 Steve |
| [15:35] | Reverend Woody just needs to have a conversation with his friend and business partner, God. | Woody神父只不过需要和他的朋友兼生意伙伴上帝同学稍作切商 |
| [15:40] | I promise the lake will be up and running in no time. | 我保证湖水会在短期内恢复营业 |
| [15:42] | The most important thing to remember is, no one needs a refund. | 最重要的事是 请各位谨记 傻子才需要退款 |
| [15:47] | Can we at least stone his ass? | 至少能让我们砸他石头吧? |
| [15:49] | I don’t see why not. Ten bucks a rock sound fair? | 何乐不为呢? 扔一块十块钱不贵吧? |
| [15:52] | You know, this is not… | 你们知道 这事不… |
| [16:02] | Now, Krog, I like you, but, uh | 听着 Krog 我喜欢你 但… |
| [16:05] | I’m not really ready for a serious relationship. | 我还没准备好开始一段认真的感情 |
| [16:10] | What are these rocks and bones for? | 你拿这些石头骨头干嘛? |
| [16:12] | Wait, are you moving your stuff in? | 慢着 你把你东西都搬我屋了? |
| [16:15] | – What are you doing to my walls? – Krog redecorate. | – 你又对我的墙做甚呢? – Krog重装饰 |
| [16:18] | What the hell is this shit? A stick man fighting a buffalo? | 这特么什么玩意儿? 棍子男干仗野水牛? |
| [16:21] | – I gotta get some air. – You not go. | – 我得呼吸点新鲜空气 – 你不许走 |
| [16:24] | You never leave Krog. | 永远不许离开Krog |
| [16:26] | Are you happy now, Dick? | 你丫高兴了嘛 鸡巴? |
| [16:35] | I don’t want to do this anymore, Malloy. | 我再也不要做这事了 Malloy |
| [16:38] | Those people are monsters. | 那些人全都是怪物 |
| [16:40] | Hey, this money train ain’t stopping. Now, try again. | 嘿 赚钱的贼车不会停的 起来再试下 |
| [16:44] | Oh, God, please return the power to this lake… | 上帝啊 跪求您还此湖以奇力吧 |
| [16:48] | For the sick people. | 看在那些病秧子的面儿上 |
| [16:50] | – And for the money. – He knows about the money, Malloy! | – 看在钱的面儿上 – 他知道钱的事啦 Malloy |
| [16:52] | God! Can you hear me, God? | 上帝 听得见我吗 上帝? |
| [16:54] | Yes, Woody, I can. | 能 Woody 我能 |
| [16:56] | – You’re not God. – No, but I do play him for a living. | – 你才不是上帝 – 是不是 但我兼职是扮他 |
| [16:59] | Anyway, where’s this Miracle Lake I’ve heard about? I could use a dip. | 话说回来 传说中的奇迹之湖在哪儿? 让我也沾沾光 |
| [17:03] | I’ve got the most bothersome case of penis pox. | 我得了点超级闹心的梅毒 |
| [17:05] | Well, this used to be Miracle Lake, but she don’t work no more. | 这湖过去就是奇迹之湖来着 但现在不管用了 |
| [17:09] | Oh, you don’t want to go in that lake. | 不会有人想跳进这个湖吧 |
| [17:11] | Why, that’s where I dump all my medical waste. | 话说 我可把医疗垃圾都倒里边了 |
| [17:13] | Medical waste? | 医疗垃圾? |
| [17:15] | So that’s the reason this lake had powers? | 所以奇迹之湖才会有奇力吗? |
| [17:17] | Why the hell did you dump medical waste in there anyway? | 你特么的往我们家湖里倒医疗垃圾搞毛啊? |
| [17:21] | Well, you did sign this permit. | 那啥 你给我签了许可呀 |
| [17:23] | I gotta stop getting drunk and signing permits. | 我可真不能喝得烂醉还签许可了 |
| [17:30] | How’s it going, Captain Caveman? | 感情进展如何呀 洞人上校? |
| [17:32] | Not good. Krog’s crazy. | 不咋地 Krog就一疯子 |
| [17:34] | She had me locked in my cabin for days. | 一连好几天把我关小木屋里 |
| [17:36] | I had to distract her with a crudely carved wheel and jump out the window. | 我是拿着原始粗木轮子忽悠她 跳窗户才跑出来的 |
| [17:39] | I can’t believe thawing out and making love to a 400,000-year-old Neanderthal didn’t work out. | 想不到解冻40万岁的穴居人老太太再跟她做爱这种事会不灵光 |
| [17:45] | It looked so good on paper. | 写上报纸肯定超叼啊 |
| [17:47] | Ethel, you’ve got to help me! | Ethel 你得救我啊 |
| [17:48] | Well, I do have three ex-boyfriends who work at the Natural History Museum. | 人家倒是确实有三个前男友在自然历史博物馆上班啦 |
| [17:51] | Well, four if you count the janitor. I’m sure they’d take her off your hands. | 算门卫的话四个呢 他们应该会替你接管她吧 |
| [17:54] | Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. | 慢着慢着 等下 |
| [17:55] | Are they gonna do a bunch of crazy-ass E.T. experiments on her? | 他们不会拿一堆扯鸡巴淡的外星人实验招呼她吧? |
| [17:57] | – Probably. – Good, [Bleep] that bitch up. | – 没准 – 很好 给我弄死那婊子 |
| [18:13] | There she is! A living, breathing Neanderthal. | 发现她了 一个有生命的穴居活人 |
| [18:16] | We can’t be too careful. She looks strong. | 各位都小心点哦 她看着蛮壮 |
| [18:24] | Wait, wait, back up. | 等等 先退回去 |
| [18:25] | So you’re telling me that it was medical waste that gave this lake its power? | 所以你是说 是医疗垃圾让这个湖有奇力的 |
| [18:29] | – So it would appear. – Well, there’s only one thing to do. | – 这不明摆着嘛 – 那这事儿就好办了 |
| [18:32] | – Tell people the truth. – Dump in more medical waste. | – 告诉人们真相 – 使劲往里边倒医疗垃圾 |
| [18:35] | Yeah. What the hell was I thinking? The truth. | 对头 我特么秀逗了吧? 真相你大爷 |
| [18:38] | Don’t look at me, fellows. I’m fresh out. | 别看我 伙计们 我可是倒没了 |
| [18:40] | But I do keep a meticulous inventory of my illegal dumping for tax purposes. | 不过我还留着一份详细的非法倾倒存货清单 以备税务之需 |
| [18:44] | Good thinking. | 干得漂亮 |
| [18:45] | If you recreate the batch, it should have the same effect. | 如果你们重造这组垃圾 应该能收到同样效果 |
| [19:13] | Where you been? Krog worried sick. | 你去哪了? Krog担心死了 |
| [19:16] | Oh, what are you doing here? | 你咋还在这儿晃悠呢? |
| [19:18] | You’re supposed to be stuffed in a museum or some shit. | 应该早特么变成博物馆展品之类了啊 |
| [19:20] | What happened? | 咋回事嘛? |
| [19:21] | Amazing news today. A prehistoric ice woman was found in a National Park. | 今日惊奇事: 国家公园惊现一史前女性冰冻人 |
| [19:26] | Scientists plan to do a bunch of crazy-ass E.T., experiments on her. | 科学家计划对其展开一系列扯鸡巴淡外星人实验 |
| [19:30] | Uh, I’m sorry, baby. | 对不起哦 宝贝 |
| [19:32] | Oh, how about I make you a fancy dinner? | 不如我补偿你一顿美味晚餐咯? |
| [19:34] | I’ll grab the Kool-Aid. You grab the fish sticks. | 我去拿饮料… 你去取鱼排 |
| [19:37] | Okay, baby. | 好嘞 宝贝 |
| [19:42] | Let me out! Let me out! | 放我出去 放我出去 |
| [19:44] | Don’t worry. I’ll thaw you out when I’m ready for a serious relationship in about 400,000 years | 别着急 等我准备好跟40万岁老太太共度一生 就解冻你 |
| [19:48] | you crazy-ass cro-magnon bitch. | 你个神经病克鲁马努婊子 |
| [19:56] | Dump it! Hurry, dump it! Dump it! Dump it! | 卸车 快点 卸车 卸车 快卸车 |
| [20:06] | It’s working. | 有用了 |
| [20:08] | It’s working! We’re back! | 有用了 我们又来啦 |
| [20:12] | Hear me ye sick and dying losers! | 听好了 汝等病秧子死屌丝 |
| [20:16] | Miracle Lake is back in business! | 奇迹之湖已重装开业 |
| [20:19] | Let’s do a mass healing! | 让我们大治大愈吧 |
| [20:21] | Everybody in! The waters fine! | 大伙都下水 湖水管用了 |
| [20:27] | Well we did it Doc. | 成功了 医生 |
| [20:28] | I can’t believe we were able to recreate your medical waste exactly. | 想不到我们真能原封不动重造你的医疗垃圾 |
| [20:32] | What are the odds we’d find a three pound two ounce Armenian fetus? | 话说要找到三磅两盎司的亚美尼亚胎盘可真费劲啊 |
| [20:35] | Armenian fetus? Oh drat my sloppy handwriting. | 亚美尼亚胎盘? 看我这操蛋手写字 |
| [20:38] | That says two pound three ounce Iranian fetus. | 我写的是两磅三盎司的伊朗胎盘 |
| [20:41] | Iranian, Armenian, what difference could it make? | 伊朗 亚美尼亚 能有几个区别啦? |
| [20:47] | It’s a miracle! | 奇迹发生了 |
| [20:49] | What did you do? All these people are… | 你们都做了什么? 这些人… |
| [20:52] | Malloy, it doesn’t heal people anymore. | Malloy 这玩意儿不能让人满血复活了 |
| [20:54] | Yeah, I know. | 嗯 我知道 |