| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:13] | 一心想”蝇” 除虫害公司 | |
| [00:21] | And that’s when I switched to boxer briefs. | 于是 我就改穿紧身四角裤了 |
| [00:23] | And I never looked back. Best of both worlds. | 而且再也不想换回去 两边的优点它都有 |
| [00:25] | Okay, I’m heading out. | 好了 我该出发了 |
| [00:27] | Hey, Linda, you’re just in time to hear | 琳达 你正赶上听我讲 |
| [00:29] | why I changed my underpants. | 我为什么换内裤了 |
| [00:30] | I-I mean the kind of underpants I wear. | 我的意思是换了内裤的样式 |
| [00:32] | I’m gonna have to take a rain check, Teddy. | 我要下次再听了 泰迪 |
| [00:34] | I’m going on a power walk. | 我要出去”劲”走 |
| [00:35] | Power walk. Sounds fun. | “劲”走 听着好有意思 |
| [00:37] | What is that? | 那是什么 |
| [00:38] | Do you stomp really hard? | 是要大力跺脚吗 |
| [00:39] | Yeah, it’s a part of this thing I’m doing with Ginger. | 嗯 我和金泽一起打卡 |
| [00:41] | Gettin’ Fitty in your Forties. | 奔五为时不晚 健身元气满满 |
| [00:43] | It’s all about exercising and eating better | 为了享受四十几岁的年纪 |
| [00:45] | and being in your forties. | 好好锻炼 健康饮食 |
| [00:46] | Can I do it, too? | 能带我一个吗 |
| [00:47] | – I could probably be healthier. – No. | -我应该也能变健康一点 -别 |
| [00:50] | Sure you can. Get ready for salads | 当然可以 准备好迎接 |
| [00:52] | and veggies and smoothies. | 沙拉 素食和奶昔吧 |
| [00:54] | Smoothies with cayenne pepper and flax seed. | 加了红辣椒和亚麻籽的奶昔 |
| [00:57] | Wow. What’s flax seed? | 什么是亚麻籽 |
| [00:58] | I don’t know, but I feel great. | 我不知道 但我感觉棒极了 |
| [01:00] | Maybe it comes from a flax machine. | 可能是什么亚麻机器做出来的 |
| [01:02] | I’m getting fittier and funnier. | 我不仅变健康 也变有趣了 |
| [01:04] | Yeah, you are. | 没错 |
| [01:04] | Anyway, Ginger already took her walk, | 话说回来 金泽已经劲走过了 |
| [01:06] | so now I got to take mine | 现在轮到我了 |
| [01:07] | or I’ll get a frowny face on my profile. | 否则我的主页就会出现个皱眉的表情 |
| [01:09] | And Ginger and I have this bet. | 金泽和我打了赌 |
| [01:11] | Whoever gets the most frowny faces | 谁的皱眉表情更多 |
| [01:12] | has to wear their bra over their shirt | 谁就要外穿胸罩一整天 |
| [01:15] | That might be bad for business. | 那样可能会不利于我们的生意 |
| [01:17] | Or possibly good. | 也可能是有利于 |
| [01:18] | Yeah, it depends on the bra. | 是啊 取决于胸罩的样式 |
| [01:20] | I better get going. | 我该走了 |
| [01:21] | We got the kids’ parent-teacher- student conferences | 一个半小时后我们还要参加孩子们的 |
| [01:23] | in an hour and a half. | 三方家长会 |
| [01:24] | Yeah, where they make us all sit together | 是啊 要老师家长孩子全坐在一起 |
| [01:26] | and discuss the kids right in front of them. | 当着孩子的面讨论他们 |
| [01:28] | I try to not make eye contact with… our children. | 我尽量避免和孩子们进行眼神交流 |
| [01:30] | Well, they don’t usually grade the parents, | 他们一般不会给家长打分 |
| [01:32] | but I bet the teachers will probably give me an “A” | 但我敢说老师们肯定会给我个优 |
| [01:34] | for A-mazing lifestyle changes and great parenting. | 因为我优秀的生活方式 和育儿方法 |
| [01:38] | Speaking of, where are the kids? They’re late. | 提到孩子 他们去哪儿了 怎么还没回来 |
| [01:40] | You’re right. Maybe it’s for a good reason? | 你说得对 也许有充分的理由 |
| [01:43] | I mean, it never is. | 从来就没有过 |
| [01:44] | Maybe there’s a cool new dance all the kids are doing, | 可能有个超酷的新舞步 所有孩子都在跳 |
| [01:47] | and they’re having a dance-off in the alley? | 他们现在正在后巷里比赛谁跳得好 |
| [01:49] | Why is it in an alley? | 为什么是在后巷里 |
| [01:50] | That’s where people step to you, Bob. | 因为后巷适合单挑[跳] 鲍勃 |
| [01:52] | Maybe they got on the wrong bus from school | 可能是他们放学坐错了车 |
| [01:53] | and ended up in a different town. | 被送去了另一个镇 |
| [01:55] | That happened to me a lot. | 我以前就总遇上这种事 |
| [01:57] | There you are. Where were you? | 终于回来了 你们去哪了 |
| [01:58] | Where were you?! | 你才去哪了 |
| [01:59] | No? Does that not work? | 这招 管用吗 |
| [02:01] | – We all got detention. – What?! | -我们全都被留堂了 -什么 |
| [02:03] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [02:04] | How? | 怎么会 |
| [02:04] | I swapped out Ms. Labonz’s morning announcements | 我把勒邦姿老师的晨间讲稿 |
| [02:07] | with the lyrics for “Baby Got Back,” | 换成了《宝贝有翘臀》的歌词 |
| [02:08] | which she only read the first line of, | 她只读出来了第一句 |
| [02:10] | but it was hilarious. | 但还是好笑极了 |
| [02:11] | I put a hot dog in the pencil sharpener | 我把热狗放进了削铅笔机 |
| [02:13] | to make Hot Dog Swirl Snacks… Patent pending. | 我想做螺旋热狗条 专利申请中 |
| [02:15] | And Tammy said horses are just boring zebras. | 苔米居然说马就是无趣版的斑马 |
| [02:18] | And one of us got her hair pulled, | 然后我俩中有人被扯了头发 |
| [02:19] | and the other one got detention. | 另一个人放学被留下来了 |
| [02:21] | So, what’s new around here? | 店里今天有什么新鲜事呢 |
| [02:22] | I can’t believe you guys. | 你们简直让人难以置信 |
| [02:24] | What? Oh, the detentions. | 你说什么 噢 你说留堂 |
| [02:25] | Yeah, kids, that’s not good. | 这可不是好事孩子们 |
| [02:27] | But, Gene, the hot dog thing? | 不过 吉恩 热狗那个 |
| [02:28] | I kind of get it. | 我理解 |
| [02:29] | I’ve had the same thought before. | 我原来也想过 |
| [02:31] | But y-you shouldn’t do it. | 但是你还是不能那样做 |
| [02:33] | And you do this on parent- teacher-student conference day | 而且还是在开三方家长会的当天 |
| [02:35] | of all days?! | 你换哪天做都行啊 |
| [02:36] | I guess it’s not a great look. | 我知道会让你们没面子 |
| [02:38] | Sorry, Mom. | 抱歉 老妈 |
| [02:38] | But, hey, if it helps, you don’t even have to worry | 但是 好消息是 你不用担心 |
| [02:41] | about punishing us because detention was… woof. | 惩罚我们了 因为留堂可够呛的 |
| [02:44] | It was rough. | 超级难熬 |
| [02:45] | They didn’t let us get water, | 都不让我们喝水 |
| [02:47] | more than several times. | 在喝过几次以后 |
| [02:48] | And there were no pastries at all. | 完全没有点心 |
| [02:50] | Not even a bear claw. | 连熊爪杏仁饼都没有 |
| [02:51] | I did kind of enjoy being alone with my thoughts. | 我倒是挺喜欢一个人静静地思考 |
| [02:54] | But, yeah, it was hard. Real, real hard. | 但确实 难熬 真的很难熬 |
| [02:56] | Oh, you’re all getting punished, | 你们一个个都得惩罚 |
| [02:57] | Miss Missies and Mister Misters. | 各位小姐少爷 |
| [02:59] | But we’re sorry, Mama. | 我们错了嘛 老妈 |
| [03:01] | No! It’s not gonna work this time, Gene. – | 这回不好使了 吉恩 |
| [03:04] | It’s called rules, okay? | 规矩定了 |
| [03:05] | Rules exist for a reason. | 就是用来遵守的 |
| [03:07] | It’s how society is a thing. | 社会就是这样的 |
| [03:09] | You got to follow the rules. | 你得守规矩 |
| [03:10] | Right? Bob, right? | 你说是不是 鲍勃 |
| [03:11] | This is where you come in. | 这时候该你出场了 |
| [03:13] | yeah, that’s right. | 是的 你说得对 |
| [03:14] | Sorry, you just seemed like you were on a roll. | 抱歉 我就是感觉你一气呵成 |
| [03:16] | I mean, we should all be trying to be better people | 我们都应该让自己 |
| [03:18] | around here, you know. | 成为更好的人 |
| [03:19] | I’m doing my part. I’m eating flax. | 我已经在这样做了 我在吃亚麻籽 |
| [03:21] | Maybe you should just relax and have some more flax. | 也许你该放松下 再多吃点亚麻籽 |
| [03:23] | No! No, Gene. Leave my flax out of this. | 住口 吉恩 别把亚麻籽扯进来 |
| [03:26] | Now I’m going on my power walk, | 我要出去劲走了 |
| [03:27] | and I’m gonna think of a punishment | 然后考虑下怎么惩罚你们 |
| [03:29] | that fits how annoyed I am. | 才能让我消气 |
| [03:31] | Spoiler alert, it’s gonna be a big one. | 先提个醒 这次很严重 |
| [03:33] | In the meantime, get to work here and do your homework. | 现在 去把活干了 把作业写了 |
| [03:36] | Wait, which one do you want us to do? | 等下 你要我们干哪个 |
| [03:38] | Both. Multitask! | 两个都做 同时做 |
| [03:39] | Wow, I would not want to be you guys right now. | 哇 我现在一点都不想成为你们 |
| [03:42] | – Nope. – Thank you both. | -不想 -我谢谢你俩 |
| [03:44] | Mom seemed extra angry. | 老妈好像超级生气啊 |
| [03:45] | Her teeth were grittier than ever. | 从来没见过她把牙咬这么紧 |
| [03:47] | Gritty and gorgeous. | 既愤怒又美丽 |
| [03:48] | Okay, so here’s what I think we should do. | 我觉得现在我们得 |
| [03:50] | Work extra hard, and when she comes back, | 卖力干活 等她回来的时候 |
| [03:52] | this place will look so great, she’ll say, | 让店里变得光鲜亮丽 她就会说 |
| [03:53] | “No punishment necessary.” | “惩罚就不必了” |
| [03:55] | Yeah. And she’ll pick us up and throw us in the air | 对 然后她会把我们抱起来 一边举高高 |
| [03:58] | and say, “My beautiful bouncing babies.” | 一边说 “我活泼美丽的小宝贝们” |
| [04:00] | I mean, I always work extra hard. | 我想说 我干活一向都很卖力 |
| [04:02] | I leave it on the field every day. | 每天都在尽力而为 |
| [04:03] | But, okay, let’s try it with all three of us. | 不过也行吧 我们三人一起试试看 |
| [04:06] | So, Bob, back to my underpants story. | 鲍勃 回到内裤的事 |
| [04:09] | Oh, do we need to go back? | 啊 还要继续说吗 |
| [04:10] | I think I got it all. | 我觉得我已经懂你意思了 |
| [04:11] | Here’s the thing. | 是这样的 |
| [04:12] | I signed up for an improv class, | 我报名参加了一个即兴表演班 |
| [04:13] | and I’m really nervous about it. | 现在超级紧张 |
| [04:15] | So we’re not talking about underpants? | 所以不是在讲内裤了 |
| [04:16] | No, we are. Our first performance is tonight. | 不 在讲 今晚是我们的第一次演出 |
| [04:19] | I’m starting to freak out, so I was wondering | 我开始害怕了 所以我在想 |
| [04:21] | if you’d come to the show and yell out a suggestion. | 你能不能来我的演出 帮我在下面出题 |
| [04:23] | In this case, underpants, | 帮我喊”内裤” |
| [04:25] | so I can roll into my underpants story. | 那我就可以带入我的内裤故事了 |
| [04:26] | I don’t think the point of improv | 我觉得即兴的重点不是 |
| [04:28] | is to have a story ready to tell, Teddy. | 讲一个已经准备好的故事 泰迪 |
| [04:30] | Oh, I’m sorry, Professor Think-em-ups. | 那可真对不起了 即兴大师 |
| [04:32] | Listen, please just come. | 求求你 来吧 |
| [04:34] | Please come and yell out “Underpants.” | 求求你来帮我喊”内裤” |
| [04:35] | – No. – Yes, and? | -不行 -行 |
| [04:38] | I can’t believe those kids. | 简直不敢相信这些孩子 |
| [04:39] | Darn rule-breaking hooligans. | 不遵守规则的小混球 |
| [04:41] | On parent-teacher-student conference night. | 还选在开三方家长会的当天 |
| [04:44] | Out of my way, squirrel! | 滚开 松鼠 |
| [04:45] | Oh, I’m so mad. | 我好生气 |
| [04:47] | Cayenne smoothie is moving around in there. | 辣椒奶昔在里面晃来晃去 |
| [04:50] | Oh, oh, oh, boy. | 糟了 |
| [04:51] | I better go back home. | 得赶紧往回走了 |
| [04:53] | Oh, no. Oh, no, I’m gonna poop! | 不会吧 我要拉粑粑了 |
| [04:54] | Oh, no. Oh, no, it’s gonna happen. | 不 不 要拉了 |
| [04:56] | Oh, thank God. | 谢天谢地 |
| [04:57] | Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it. | 忍住 忍住 忍住 忍住 |
| [04:59] | Hold it, hold it. | 忍住 忍住 |
| [05:00] | Damn it! Oh, what? | 见鬼 什么 |
| [05:03] | Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. | 我的天 我的天 我的天 |
| [05:04] | Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. | 我的天 我的天 我的天 |
| [05:06] | – Tag, you’re it. – Stupid kids! | -抓住了 该你了 -笨小孩 |
| [05:09] | I mean, hi. | 我是说 嗨 |
| [05:10] | Childhood. Happy memories. | 童年 快乐的回忆 |
| [05:12] | Oh, maybe I’ll just go behind there. | 也许到那后面去看看 |
| [05:14] | No. No. No. No. No! Hi. | 不要 不要 不要 不要 嗨 |
| [05:17] | Oh, my God, it’s happening! | 天啊 出来了 |
| [05:20] | Okay… | 好了 |
| [05:23] | Oh, poop. | 该死 |
| [05:28] | You gotta believe me. | 你要相信我 |
| [05:29] | I almost always poop in toilets. | 我几乎总是用厕所的 |
| [05:31] | It was an accident. An emergency. | 这是个意外 紧急事件 |
| [05:33] | That’s what they all say. | 他们都那么说 |
| [05:35] | They all say that? Who’s they? | 他们都那么说 他们是谁 |
| [05:37] | – Public poopers. – What?! | -在公共场所拉屎的人 -什么 |
| [05:38] | No, no, that’s not who I am. | 不 不 我不是那样的人 |
| [05:41] | This was all just a mistake. | 这只是个错误 |
| [05:42] | I’m on this new exercise program, | 我在执行一项新的健身计划 |
| [05:44] | and I’m eating healthy. | 在吃健康食物 |
| [05:45] | I think my body’s just confused | 我想我的身体只是有点困惑 |
| [05:47] | that I’m not shoveling garbage into it. | 为什么我不再塞垃圾食物进去了 |
| [05:48] | It’s not used to salads. | 它不习惯沙拉 |
| [05:50] | And that damn cayenne pepper is a spicy little bastard. | 而且那该死的辣椒是个辣人的小混蛋 |
| [05:53] | So, I didn’t need to hear any of that. | 你不用跟我说这些 |
| [05:55] | – the fine is $100. – Okay. | -罚款100块 -好吧 |
| [05:58] | But since you have no wallet or ID, or even a phone, | 但由于你没带钱包 身份证 手机都没有 |
| [06:01] | we need someone to come pay the citation | 需要有人带现金 |
| [06:04] | with cash before you can leave. | 来支付罚单 你才能走 |
| [06:05] | Okay, no problem. | 好 没问题 |
| [06:06] | I’ll call my husband and he’ll be right here. | 我给我丈夫打电话 他马上就会过来 |
| [06:08] | I get a phone call, right? Like in the movies? | 我可以打个电话吧 像电影里那样 |
| [06:10] | – Let me see your hands. – What? | -给我看看你的手 -什么 |
| [06:12] | – Palms up. – Oh, hand sanitizer. | -手心朝上 -哦消毒液 |
| [06:14] | Right, right, right, right. | 对 对 对 对 |
| [06:17] | Oh, come on, Bob. | 拜托 鲍勃 |
| [06:18] | Kids, tell your dad to come to my improv show | 孩子们 让你们的爸爸来我的即兴表演 |
| [06:20] | and yell out “Underpants.” | 帮我在下面喊”内裤” |
| [06:21] | I’ll do it at your wedding. | 我会在你的婚礼上喊的 |
| [06:23] | Sorry, Teddy, we’re quietly | 抱歉 泰迪 我们正在安静 |
| [06:24] | and obediently doing our work, like good children. | 听话地干活 像好孩子那样 |
| [06:26] | But if you want some advice, | 我的建议是 |
| [06:27] | maybe just have fun with it? | 玩得开心就好了 |
| [06:28] | You think improv’s supposed to be fun?! | 你以为即兴表演是让人开心的吗 |
| [06:30] | Sorry, sorry. | 抱歉 抱歉 |
| [06:31] | Bob’s Burgers. Oh, hi. What? | 鲍勃的汉堡店 你好 什么 |
| [06:34] | You’re kidding. Are you serious? | 你开玩笑吧 你认真的吗 |
| [06:37] | Okay, okay, let me look. | 好的好的 我看看 |
| [06:39] | We might be a little short. | 我们可能还差点钱 |
| [06:40] | But I’ll go to the bank and head right over. | 我去银行取了马上就过来 |
| [06:42] | Oh… I-I promise. I won’t. | 我 我保证我不会 |
| [06:45] | L-Love you, too. Bye. | 我 我也爱你 再见 |
| [06:48] | That was, the restaurant supply store. | 是 是供货商打来的 |
| [06:50] | They called me personally to say they’re-they’re having | 他们亲自打电话给告诉我 |
| [06:53] | a half-off sale for the next 30 minutes. | 马上有半个小时的半价促销 |
| [06:56] | And you love them? | 所以你爱他们 |
| [06:58] | Yes, very much. | 是的 很爱 |
| [07:00] | So I’m gonna go check it out real fast | 所以我要去赶紧过去看看 |
| [07:01] | and be back in time to take you to your conferences. | 然后赶回来接你们去开会 |
| [07:03] | Kids, go upstairs and do your homework. | 孩子们 上楼去做作业 |
| [07:05] | – Teddy, leave. – Okay, fine. | -泰迪 请离开 -行 |
| [07:08] | But if you need someone to shout “Underpants” | 要是你以后需要有人帮你 |
| [07:10] | in a room full of ten or 11 people, | 在十多个人的房间里喊”内裤” |
| [07:12] | don’t come crawling to me, Bob. | 可别来求我 鲍勃 |
| [07:14] | Okay, sounds good. | 好的 听着不错 |
| [07:15] | Are you sure you don’t want us to stay here | 你确定你不需要我们在店里 |
| [07:16] | and do extra work, Dad, | 多帮忙干点活 爸爸 |
| [07:18] | with our sweet little hands? | 用我们可爱的小手手 |
| [07:19] | Yeah, really get into it. | 就是啊 已经爱上了 |
| [07:21] | I don’t know, maybe mop the ceiling? | 也许可以擦擦天花板啥的 |
| [07:22] | No, that’s-that’s okay. | 不需要 没 没事的 |
| [07:24] | We could tackle that sticky corner that we always avoid. | 我们可以把一直避开的黏糊糊的角落打扫了 |
| [07:27] | So many hairs stuck there. | 那儿粘了好多头发 |
| [07:28] | It looks like a little forest. | 看起来就像个小森林 |
| [07:29] | I’m positive. | 不用了 |
| [07:30] | Go upstairs and I’ll be right back | 上楼去 我一会儿就回来 |
| [07:32] | with all those restaurant supplies I’m gonna get. | 带着我买的店里需要的商品 |
| [07:34] | Your wish is our command, Papa. | 你说什么就是什么 爸爸 |
| [07:36] | Looks like there’s no cleaning our way out of this one. | 看来我们没有办法靠打扫脱身了 |
| [07:39] | And Mom’s still out there, angrily strutting around | 而妈妈还在外面 生气地乱走 |
| [07:41] | thinking of God knows what to punish us. | 想着上帝才知道的惩罚我们的办法 |
| [07:43] | And God’s seen some pretty rough stuff. | 上帝可是见过大场面的 |
| [07:47] | So, yeah, my husband will be here really soon. | 我丈夫马上就来 |
| [07:51] | And he’ll bring the money and we’ll clear all this up. | 他会带钱来 这事儿就算完了 |
| [07:53] | He just has to stop at the bank. | 他需要先去一趟银行 |
| [07:55] | Sure. He sounds great and totally real. | 好的 听着是很棒的丈夫 而且绝对存在 |
| [07:57] | He is real. | 他本来就是真实存在的 |
| [07:58] | You know what else is real? Toilets. | 你知道还有什么是真实存在的吗 马桶 |
| [08:00] | I know. I was looking for one. | 我知道 我当时就正在找 |
| [08:02] | Would it help if I showed you a picture | 给你看看马桶的图片 |
| [08:04] | of what they look like? Toilet. Toilet. | 能帮到你吗 马桶 马桶 |
| [08:07] | That’s the kind I have. | 我家的就是这种 |
| [08:08] | Oh, that’s a nice one. | 噢 这个真不错 |
| [08:09] | That one’s okay. | 这个还行 |
| [08:11] | That one’s dumb. | 这个不怎么样 |
| [08:14] | What? Bank holiday? | 什么 银行放假了 |
| [08:15] | I know, right? Another one? | 离谱对吧 又放假了 |
| [08:18] | They should just tell us the days | 应该直接告诉我们 |
| [08:19] | that aren’t bank holidays. | 银行哪些日子不放假 |
| [08:20] | It’d be a shorter list. | 那样还方便一些 |
| [08:22] | Well, at least the ATMs are open. | 还好自动提款机还能用 |
| [08:24] | I know, but it’s not the same. | 我知道 但这不一样啊 |
| [08:25] | I like the human interaction. | 我喜欢和人互动 |
| [08:27] | Why is my card not working? | 为什么我的卡用不了 |
| [08:29] | Oh, it’s all scratched up. | 全都刮花了 |
| [08:30] | How did that happen? | 怎么会这样 |
| [08:31] | Oh, right. | 想起来了 |
| [08:33] | Get in there. | 给我进去 |
| [08:35] | – Is that my ATM card? – Yeah. | -那是我的银行卡吗 -是的 |
| [08:37] | I’m showing Gene and Tina | 我在给吉恩和蒂娜展示 |
| [08:38] | how they can open any door with a simple credit card. | 如何用一张信用卡轻松打开所有门 |
| [08:41] | I’m not sure I need to know this. | 我觉得我不需要知道这个 |
| [08:43] | Then why did you sign up | 那你为什么要报名参加 |
| [08:44] | for Louise’s Life Skills Workshop? | 露易丝的生活技巧培训班 |
| [08:46] | I thought it would be more about organizing my closet. | 我以为会讲讲如何整理衣橱之类的 |
| [08:48] | I’m just here to network. Hello, I’m Gene. | 我只是来交际的 你好 我是吉恩 |
| [08:50] | What do you do for work? | 你是干什么工作的 |
| [08:52] | Oh, my God, I hate that workshop. | 天啊 我讨厌那个培训班 |
| [08:55] | Math, math, math. | 数学 数学 数学 |
| [08:56] | Oh, who can do math at a time like this?! | 谁能在这种时候做数学题 |
| [08:58] | I know. | 可不是嘛 |
| [08:59] | I think we finally pushed Mom over the edge. | 我觉得我们终于把妈妈逼疯了 |
| [09:00] | I’m scared of what she’s gonna do to us. | 我很怕她会对我们做什么 |
| [09:02] | – It’s gonna be bad. – It’s gonna be really bad. | -那一定很糟 -一定会非常糟 |
| [09:05] | You think she’s gonna ground us through high school? | 她会让我们直到高中毕业都禁足吗 |
| [09:06] | What if she replaces our hands and feet | 她会不会把我们的手和脚 |
| [09:08] | with mops and brooms, | 替换成拖把和扫帚 |
| [09:09] | makes us clean all day long? | 让我们成天打扫 |
| [09:11] | What if she hires a gorilla to eat us?! | 她会不会雇一头大猩猩来吃了我们 |
| [09:13] | I know they’re plant-eating, gentle giants, | 我知道大猩猩是吃素的温柔大块头 |
| [09:14] | but everyone has their price! | 但有钱能使鬼推磨 |
| [09:16] | What if she says no TV? | 如果她不让我们看电视怎么办 |
| [09:18] | I don’t want that life! | 我不想要那种生活 |
| [09:19] | Hey, did you guys watch that really great TV show | 你们昨晚看了电视上放的那个 |
| [09:22] | – that was on the TV last night? – No! | -超级棒的电视节目了吗 -没有 |
| [09:25] | Too bad. It was a shared cultural moment. | 很遗憾 共同的谈资都没了 |
| [09:27] | See you later. | 再见 |
| [09:28] | We can’t let this happen! | 我们不能让这种事发生 |
| [09:31] | – Just the gum? – Yes. | -只买口香糖吗 -对 |
| [09:32] | So, you were sitting at home, and you thought, | 所以你坐在家里 突然觉得 |
| [09:34] | “I need some gum, I’m gonna get in the car | “我想吃口香糖 我要开车 |
| [09:36] | and head over to the grocery store”? | 去趟杂货店”吗 |
| [09:39] | Yeah. So can you just ring it up? | 对 你能结一下账吗 |
| [09:41] | Yep. Ringing up one gum. | 行 为一包口香糖结账 |
| [09:43] | One gum for the man that only needs gum. | 一包口香糖给一位只需要口香糖的人 |
| [09:45] | Look, I’m kind of in a hurry. | 听着 我赶时间 |
| [09:47] | I-I came to cash a check because the banks are closed | 我是来兑支票的 因为银行关门了 |
| [09:49] | and my ATM card isn’t working. | 而我的ATM卡也用不了 |
| [09:50] | Cash a check? | 兑支票吗 |
| [09:51] | Yeah. Like, if I write a check | 对 比如我开一张 |
| [09:53] | for $40 over the amount of my purchase, | 超出我购物金额40美元的支票 |
| [09:55] | you give me the $40. | 你就给我40美元现金 |
| [09:57] | Oh, no, I, I know what cashing a check means, | 不 我 我知道兑支票是什么意思 |
| [09:59] | – but we’re not in the ’80s anymore. – What? | -但我们已不是上世纪80年代了 -什么 |
| [10:01] | Most stores stopped doing that a long time ago, | 大部分商店很久前就不这么做了 |
| [10:04] | including ours. | 包括我们店 |
| [10:05] | Well, there should be a sign that says that. | 那总该有个提示说明吧 |
| [10:06] | There is. | 在这里 |
| [10:08] | – Damn it! – You still want the gum? | -该死的 -你还想买口香糖吗 |
| [10:10] | – Yes. – That’ll be $1.39. | -买 -总共1.39美元 |
| [10:13] | One dollar and 39 cents. | 一美元三十九美分 |
| [10:17] | This feels like time traveling. | 感觉自己穿越了 |
| [10:19] | Crap. 40 minutes till parent- teacher-student conferences. | 该死 还有40分钟就要开家长会了 |
| [10:22] | Oh, why can’t we just have lots of money lying around? | 我们为什么就没在家里多放点现金呢 |
| [10:24] | Oh. Linda’s secret emergency money drawer. | 对了 琳达的秘密应急资金 |
| [10:27] | Of course! I forgot. | 是的 我居然忘了 |
| [10:28] | You know, the more I hear you, | 知道吗 我听你说的越多 |
| [10:29] | the more I feel like your life doesn’t make sense. | 就越觉得你的人生我看不懂 |
| [10:31] | But, I’m just a normal person. | 可能因为我只是个普通人吧 |
| [10:34] | Shush. | 闭嘴 |
| [10:35] | I don’t know what’s taking him so long. | 他怎么这么久 |
| [10:37] | He should have been here by now. | 现在应该到了的 |
| [10:38] | Yeah, most people who exist | 对 如果是真实存在的人 |
| [10:40] | would have been here by now. | 大概率现在已经到了 |
| [10:41] | You know what? I have an idea. | 这样吧 我有个主意 |
| [10:42] | I’ll go home, I’ll get the money, | 我回家 拿了钱 |
| [10:44] | I’ll come right back and pay you. | 立刻过来付罚金 |
| [10:45] | No, no, that’s not how this works. | 不行 这可不合规矩 |
| [10:47] | No, yeah, it’s good, it’s good. | 不 可以的 |
| [10:48] | So should I just let everyone out of jail? | 照你这么说我可以把监狱里的人都放了 |
| [10:51] | I’m sure they’ll all come back, right? | 反正他们也会回来 是吗 |
| [10:52] | I mean, it’s something to try. | 我只是说可以一试 |
| [10:54] | I’m gonna go, I’ll be right back. You’ll see. | 我走了 我会回来的 不信你等着 |
| [10:56] | You really should sit back down. | 你需要回来坐下 |
| [10:58] | If you walk out that door, | 如果你走出这扇门 |
| [10:59] | I’ll be forced to detain you. | 我只能强制拘留你 |
| [11:01] | More than I’m already detaining you. | 比现在更严格地拘留你 |
| [11:03] | – But we’re friends. – Nope. | -但我们是朋友 -不是 |
| [11:05] | Acquaintances? | 相识的人 |
| [11:06] | If I saw you on the street, I’d say hi. | 如果我在街上遇到你 我会打招呼 |
| [11:08] | Ma’am, don’t open that door. | 女士 不要打开那扇门 |
| [11:09] | No, it’s fine, it’s fine. | 没事的 没事的 |
| [11:12] | Oh, double poop. | 天哪 屎来二度 |
| [11:17] | In case Mom really does go crazy and says no TV, | 以防妈妈彻底气疯 禁止我们看电视 |
| [11:20] | we should make a cardboard decoy TV for the living room, | 我们应该用纸板做一个假电视放在起居室 |
| [11:23] | and we’ll put the real TV in my room. | 然后把真的那个放我房间 |
| [11:25] | – my room? – My room. | -我的房间吧 -我的房间 |
| [11:26] | Okay, we’ll put the TV in the middle of the floor | 我们把电视放在楼道中间 |
| [11:28] | and let it come to who it likes best. | 让它自己选择想去哪里 |
| [11:30] | Homework! | 作业中 |
| [11:31] | Yeah, my hands are so sore | 我的手都酸死了 |
| [11:32] | from doing all this homework so well. | 一直在完成作业 |
| [11:34] | And my butt is sore from all of my homework farts. | 放作业屁放的我屁股都酸了 |
| [11:39] | – great. – Are you chewing gum? | -很好 -你在嚼口香糖吗 |
| [11:40] | Since when do you have gum we don’t know about? | 你什么时候开背着我们有口香糖了 |
| [11:42] | Did you get anything good at the restaurant supply store? | 你在商店买到好东西了吗 |
| [11:44] | Maybe some fun aprons? | 一些有趣的围裙 |
| [11:46] | Apron fashion show? | 来个围裙时装秀 |
| [11:48] | First of all, even if I did get some good aprons, | 首先 就算我买到了一些好围裙 |
| [11:50] | you kids are in trouble, | 你们还要接受惩罚呢 |
| [11:51] | so no apron fashion show. | 所以不会有围裙时装秀 |
| [11:53] | – Boo. – And second of all, | -讨厌 -其次 |
| [11:55] | there wasn’t anything good at the store, | 商店里也确实没啥好东西 |
| [11:56] | so I got some gum to cheer myself up. | 所以我买了些口香糖让自己开心点 |
| [11:59] | And now I’m going into my bedroom to get something, | 现在我要进入我的卧室找点东西 |
| [12:02] | and I don’t want you to follow me. | 你们不准跟着我 |
| [12:04] | I like new Gum Dad. He’s in charge. | 我喜欢这个新的口香糖老爸 掌控一切 |
| [12:07] | You made a big mistake | 你们犯了很大的错误 |
| [12:08] | putting me in here, a big mistake. | 把我关在这里 天大的错误 |
| [12:11] | Pretty Woman big. | 像《风月俏佳人》中那么大 |
| [12:12] | Not that I do Pretty Woman stuff. | 我不是说我做了佳人的事情 |
| [12:14] | My lawyer’s gonna be so mad! | 我的律师会让你们好看 |
| [12:15] | What’s your lawyer’s name? | 你的律师叫什么名字 |
| [12:17] | John Lawyer…ton. | 约翰·律师顿… |
| [12:20] | John Lawyerton. I’ve heard of him. | 约翰·律师顿 我听说过 |
| [12:22] | He’s good. | 他很厉害 |
| [12:23] | Oh, there’s Sergeant Bosco. | 博斯柯警长 |
| [12:25] | He’ll vouch for me. You’ll see. | 他会保释我的 看着吧 |
| [12:26] | He knows I’m good for the money. | 他知道我能支付罚款 |
| [12:28] | – Sergeant Bosco! – Linda Belcher? | -博斯柯警长 -琳达·贝尔彻 |
| [12:31] | What are you doing here? | 你为什么会在这里 |
| [12:31] | It’s all a big misunderstanding. | 天大的误会 |
| [12:33] | I was on a power walk and I got a ticket | 我在暴走的途中被开了罚单 |
| [12:35] | and I don’t have my purse or any ID. | 我没有带钱包和证件 |
| [12:37] | Yeah? What’d you get a ticket for? | 你因为什么被开罚单 |
| [12:39] | Nothing. It was nothing. | 没什么 |
| [12:41] | It-it was no big deal. | 没什么大不了的 |
| [12:42] | Public defecation. | 公共场所排便 |
| [12:44] | – Oh, dear Lord. – No, no, please. | -天啊 -不 不 求你了 |
| [12:46] | It was the cayenne pepper. | 是辣椒粉 |
| [12:48] | And maybe the flax, I don’t know. | 或者亚麻籽 我不确定 |
| [12:49] | Oh, but come on, Bosco, you know me. | 但博斯柯 你是了解我的 |
| [12:52] | I thought I knew you. | 我以为我了解你 |
| [12:54] | Public poopers are just… | 公共场所大便实在是… |
| [12:55] | I mean, this is a society. There are rules. | 文明社会是有规则的 |
| [12:58] | I know, I know. I say that all the time. | 我知道 我一直都是那么说的 |
| [13:01] | It’s just the worst. | 糟糕至极 |
| [13:02] | Well, what about murderers? | 那杀人凶手呢 |
| [13:04] | Well, murder is bad, too, but at least | 杀人也很不好 但至少 |
| [13:06] | it’s not pooping outside like some kind of psycho. | 不像是公众场合拉屎的那种疯子 |
| [13:09] | Sergeant Bosco, wait, come back. | 博斯柯警长 等等 回来 |
| [13:12] | It was an accident. | 这是个意外 |
| [13:13] | That went well. | 说得很好 |
| [13:15] | Come on, secret emergency money underwear drawer. | 拜托 秘密应急资金内衣抽屉 |
| [13:18] | Nothing. And so many holes in the underwear. | 什么都没有 内裤上有好多洞 |
| [13:21] | Why does she keep these? | 她为什么要留着这些内裤 |
| [13:23] | Are you looking for mom’s secret cash stash? | 你是在找妈妈的私房钱吗 |
| [13:25] | Hey. I told you not to follow me. | 我说过了别跟着我 |
| [13:26] | You look like a different guy from behind. | 你从后面看起来像是另一个人 |
| [13:28] | What’s this? | 这是什么 |
| [13:29] | “I.O.U. Seven dollars. Love, Linda.” | “我欠你七美元 爱你 琳达” |
| [13:31] | Why would she write herself I.O.U.S? | 她为什么要自己写欠条 |
| [13:33] | – Because she’s honest. – Dad, what’s happening? | -因为她很诚实 -爸爸 发生什么事了 |
| [13:36] | Why do you need emergency money? | 你为什么需要应急资金 |
| [13:37] | And where’s Mom? She should be back by now. | 妈妈在哪 她现在应该回来了才对 |
| [13:39] | What’s going on? | 发生什么事了 |
| [13:40] | Was mom taken and you need to pay her ransom? | 妈妈被人绑架了吗 你需要付赎金 |
| [13:42] | Should we call Liam Neeson? | 我们应该打给利亚姆·尼森吗[飓风营救主演] |
| [13:43] | Do we need some Neeson? | 我们需要姓尼森的人吗 |
| [13:44] | I bet he drives a Nissan. | 我肯定他开的车是尼桑牌 |
| [13:48] | Tina, kids, calm down. Everything’s okay. | 蒂娜 孩子们 冷静点 一切都很好 |
| [13:51] | Bull-doody. Give us some answers, old man. | 胡说 快回答我们 老爹 |
| [13:53] | Okay, fine. While she was on her walk, | 行吧行吧 你们妈妈在散步的时候 |
| [13:56] | your mom got a ticket, and we have to go pay the ticket | 得到了一张罚单 我们得付罚单的钱 |
| [14:00] | but I don’t have enough cash and the banks are all closed. | 但是我没有足够的现金 银行又都关门了 |
| [14:02] | – Mom got a ticket? – Yes. | -妈妈收到了罚单 -是的 |
| [14:04] | It’s just a ticket? So she’s fine? Phew. | 只是罚单吗 所以她没事 |
| [14:06] | Tina, I know this is a little awkward, but… | 蒂娜 我知道这有点难为情 但是 |
| [14:08] | you don’t have any babysitting money, do you? | 你有兼职赚来的钱吗 |
| [14:10] | Like, $18? I’ll-I’ll pay you back tomorrow. | 比如说 18美元 我明天就还给你 |
| [14:12] | With interest. 50%, I get half. | 加上50%的利息 一半归我 |
| [14:14] | – Tina, let’s do this. – I don’t have any. | -蒂娜 我们做这笔买卖吧 -我没有钱 |
| [14:16] | I spent it all on Boys 4 Now perfume. | 我把钱都花在时代男孩香水上了 |
| [14:18] | Pituitary by Boyz 4 Now. It’s nasty. | 时代男孩的味道 非常性感 |
| [14:21] | I think I have an idea of how to get some money. | 我觉得 我有个能搞到钱的主意 |
| [14:24] | Wait a minute, what did mom get a ticket for? | 等一下 妈妈为什么拿到罚单了 |
| [14:26] | I promised her I wouldn’t tell you. | 我向她保证过不会告诉你们的 |
| [14:28] | – Jaywalking? – Walking way too loud? | -乱穿马路 -走路的声音太响了 |
| [14:30] | Did her boob fall out again? | 是不是她的胸又露出来了 |
| [14:31] | No. Wait, her boob fell out? | 不是 等等 她的胸露出来过吗 |
| [14:33] | At the store once. | 有次在商店里 |
| [14:34] | She didn’t notice for a while. She’s fun. | 她过了一会才反应过来 她超好笑 |
| [14:36] | – Was she trespassing? – No. | -她擅闯领地了吗 -不是 |
| [14:38] | – Carjacking? – No. | -抢车 -不是 |
| [14:39] | Flap-jacking? It shouldn’t be illegal. | 抢烙饼吗 那应该是不算违法吧 |
| [14:41] | No, look, the reason she got a ticket | 不是 听好了 她收到罚单的原因 |
| [14:43] | was not that big of a deal, | 不是什么大事 |
| [14:44] | but I promised I wouldn’t tell you. | 但是我向她保证过不会告诉你们的 |
| [14:46] | Why are we stopping here? | 我们为什么在这停车 |
| [14:48] | Time to say goodbye to an old friend. | 是时候跟老朋友说再见了 |
| [14:49] | Is that a panini maker? | 这是三明治烹饪机吗 |
| [14:51] | It’s my CD player. | 这是我的激光唱机 |
| [14:52] | It’s the only thing that truly gets me. | 这是我唯一真正为之动容的东西 |
| [14:55] | So as you can see, it-it’s in great condition. | 所以 正如你所见 唱机状态良好 |
| [14:59] | I paid probably a lot for it. | 我买的时候大概花了很多钱 |
| [15:01] | And it-it has the cassette thingy here | 而且这里有个放磁带的地方 |
| [15:03] | that you plug into the dashboard, | 可以将它插进仪表盘上 |
| [15:04] | which is basically magic, and the CD goes there. | 这真的很神奇 光盘放那里 |
| [15:08] | Oh, it has skip protection, by the way, so rest easy. | 顺便提一句 唱机还有跳读保护 所以放心吧 |
| [15:11] | I-I could let it go for $40. | 40美元让给你 |
| [15:13] | I’ll give you five bucks for it. | 我出5美元 |
| [15:15] | What? A-Are you crazy? | 什么 你疯了吧 |
| [15:16] | CDs are coming back. | 光盘时代要回归了 |
| [15:17] | I-In a big way. | 强势回归 |
| [15:19] | I’m young and hip and I can vouch for that. | 我年轻又时髦 我向你保证 |
| [15:21] | So am I and so can I, daddio. | 我也是我也可以 老爹 |
| [15:23] | Five bucks, take it or leave it. | 五美元 爱要不要 |
| [15:25] | $18? Final offer. | 18美元呢 最低价了 |
| [15:26] | Let me handle this, Dad. | 我来吧 爸爸 |
| [15:27] | Hey. Give my dad $18 for his old man music machine. | 伙计 赶紧给我爸18美元当这个音乐盒 |
| [15:31] | I’d listen to her if I were you, mister. | 要是我就听她的了 先生 |
| [15:33] | She seems loco. | 她听起来已经疯了 |
| [15:34] | – No. – Well, I tried. | -不行 -起码我尝试了 |
| [15:36] | Okay, that didn’t go great. | 好吧 刚刚不太行 |
| [15:38] | But at least I didn’t have to lose you. | 但至少我没当掉你 |
| [15:40] | To that mean man. | 没给那个刻薄的男人 |
| [15:41] | What are we gonna do now? | 那现在怎么办 |
| [15:42] | Well, your parent- teacher-student conferences | 你们的家长会 |
| [15:44] | start in half an hour. | 半小时后开始 |
| [15:46] | I guess there’s one other thing we can do. | 我还有一件事该做 |
| [15:48] | – Tell us what Mom did? – No. | -告诉我们妈妈做了什么吗 -不是 |
| [15:50] | Hello, Teddy? | 你好 泰迪吗 |
| [15:52] | I deserve this. | 我自作自受 |
| [15:53] | I was supposed to be getting fitty in my 40s | 我应该在40岁的时候保持良好身材 |
| [15:56] | but instead I got poopy in the park. | 但相反我却在公园拉屎被抓 |
| [15:58] | I’m a bad person rule breaker. | 我是个不守规则的坏人 |
| [16:00] | No wonder the kids all got detention. | 怪不得孩子们都留校察看了 |
| [16:02] | Look at what kind of example I set. | 看看我这个坏榜样就知道了 |
| [16:04] | They’ll never respect me again after this. | 他们不会再尊重我了 |
| [16:06] | They probably don’t want to come ’cause they won’t be able | 他们可能都不想来接我 |
| [16:07] | to look me in my public pooping eyes. | 因为无法直视我公共排便的罪恶之眼 |
| [16:10] | That’s why they’re taking so long. | 这就是为什么他们迟迟不来 |
| [16:12] | What are you in for? | 你是为什么被抓 |
| [16:13] | Attempted to sell drugs to a state trooper. You? | 企图给警察卖药 你呢 |
| [16:16] | Public defecation. | 公共排便 |
| [16:22] | So, you need $18? | 你是要18美元是吗 |
| [16:24] | – Yep. – Is it okay if I only have a 20? | -是的 -我只有20行吗 |
| [16:26] | Yeah, that’s fine, Teddy. Thank you. | 没关系 泰迪 谢谢你 |
| [16:28] | Do you want to give me the two dollars’ change now, | 你是想先找给我2美元 |
| [16:30] | or just owe me the whole 20? | 还是直接欠我20呢 |
| [16:32] | I-I’ll owe you 20, Teddy. | 我直接欠你20 泰迪 |
| [16:34] | I’m so sorry, we’re-we’re in a big rush. | 实在不好意思 我们很着急 |
| [16:35] | I can’t believe Linda got a ticket | 我不敢相信琳达收到警察局罚单了 |
| [16:37] | and you won’t tell me what it’s for. | 但你不肯告诉我为什么 |
| [16:38] | Probably flight jacking. | 可能是因为劫机 |
| [16:41] | He won’t tell us, either. | 他也不肯告诉我们 |
| [16:42] | He’s keeping that mustache shut. | 嘴闭的严严的 |
| [16:43] | Except to chew his precious gum. | 他的嘴只用来嚼口香糖 |
| [16:45] | Oh, you got gum? | 你有口香糖吗 |
| [16:46] | Y-Yeah. Do-do you want a piece? | 是啊 你想要一块吗 |
| [16:48] | I never say no to a piece of gum. | 我从来不会拒绝口香糖 |
| [16:50] | Okay, here you go. | 给你 |
| [16:51] | Now if I could just get that… | 现在你可以借我 |
| [16:52] | Maybe one for now, one for later? | 我要两个吧 留一个后吃 |
| [16:55] | Okay, fine. Here. | 行 给你 |
| [16:56] | Big night for me, too, I guess. | 今天也是我的大日子 |
| [16:57] | I’m just bouncing off the walls. | 我太兴奋了 |
| [16:59] | Going through scenarios, | 多设想几个场景 |
| [17:00] | – Right. – you know, pre-improvising. | -好的 -提前即兴 |
| [17:02] | – Yep. – Who knows. | -没问题 -谁知道呢 |
| [17:03] | Who knows what the night holds, right, Bobby? | 谁知道今夜会有什么发生呢 是吧鲍鲍 |
| [17:06] | Maybe I’ll think of some improvs, | 可能我会有即兴的灵感 |
| [17:07] | maybe I won’t, maybe my mind will just go blank. | 也可能不会 可能我的脑子会一片空白 |
| [17:10] | Okay, fine. Teddy, I’ll come. | 好吧 泰迪 我会来的 |
| [17:12] | I’ll come and yell out “Underpants.” | 我会来喊”内裤” |
| [17:13] | Oh, really? That’s great. | 真的吗 太好了 |
| [17:15] | Because you weren’t that into it before. | 因为你之前不是很想来 |
| [17:16] | Yeah, no, yeah. It’s-it’s gonna be great. | 没有 我会很开心的 |
| [17:18] | So, anyway, Teddy, we really have to go. | 但是泰迪 我们必须要走了 |
| [17:21] | We have parent-teacher-student conferences in 20 minutes. | 20分钟之后有个家长会 |
| [17:23] | Gosh, I-I’m just dying to know what Linda’s ticket was for. | 我太想知道琳达到底犯什么事了 |
| [17:26] | I bet it was something great | 我打赌肯定是好事 |
| [17:27] | and the cops just misunderstood. | 只是警察误会了 |
| [17:29] | Like stealing a cloud. | 比如偷了一朵云之类的 |
| [17:30] | It was for public pooping, okay? | 在公共场合拉屎 行了吗 |
| [17:32] | I mean, allegedly. I mean, not that. | 只是据说 我是说 不是的 |
| [17:34] | I was improvising. Forget I said anything. | 我那是即兴表演 快忘掉快忘掉 |
| [17:37] | I’m taking the 20. Bye. | 20块给我 再见 |
| [17:41] | Just chew it, Teddy. | 嚼就行了 泰迪 |
| [17:42] | Don’t swallow it. Damn it. | 别吞掉 靠 |
| [17:49] | Okay, you guys have to pretend | 好吧 你们要假装 |
| [17:50] | I didn’t tell you what your mom did. | 我没说过你们妈妈的事 |
| [17:51] | May-may or may not have done, I mean. | 可能做过也可能没做过的事 |
| [17:54] | Y-You have to erase that from your minds. | 把我刚才说的都忘掉 |
| [17:55] | There are some things your father tells you | 有些爸爸说的事情 |
| [17:57] | that you never forget. | 永远也忘不掉 |
| [17:58] | And “Your mom got a ticket for public defecation” | “你妈因为在公共场合排便而收到罚单” |
| [18:00] | is definitely one of them. | 绝对是其中之一 |
| [18:02] | I can’t believe this and I can’t believe I learned | 我不敢相信这件事 我也不敢相信 |
| [18:04] | a new word for poop today. | 我今天竟然学了个拉屎的新说法 |
| [18:05] | Defecation, defecation, defecation… | 排便 排便 排便 |
| [18:07] | defecation, defecation, defecation. | 排便 排便 排便 |
| [18:08] | Dead. They’re all dead. | 完了 他们都死了 |
| [18:10] | Bob, Tina, Gene, Louise, dead. | 鲍勃 蒂娜 吉恩 露易丝 都死了 |
| [18:15] | That’s why they aren’t gettin’ me. | 所以他们才没来接我 |
| [18:17] | I’ve got no one and nothing in this world. | 我从此要孤身一人 |
| [18:19] | I live here now. | 在这了此余生了 |
| [18:20] | Can I, can I switch cells? | 能帮我换个牢房吗 |
| [18:23] | Hi, we’re here to pay the fine for Linda Belcher. | 你好 我们来交琳达·贝尔彻的罚款 |
| [18:25] | Here it is. | 给你 |
| [18:25] | In small bills. | 都是小票额啊 |
| [18:27] | Great. Why is it wet? | 很好 怎么这么湿啊 |
| [18:28] | – Is that sweat? – Probably. | -是汗吗 -可能吧 |
| [18:30] | 20 25 26 20, 25, 26… | |
| [18:34] | We’re kind of in a hurry, so… | 我们还有事 麻烦 |
| [18:35] | Well, now I’ve lost my place. | 我都忘了数到哪了 |
| [18:37] | 20 25 20, 25… | |
| [18:39] | It’s just, we have the kids’ | 那个 我们要去 |
| [18:40] | parent-teacher-student conferences, | 给孩子们开家长会 |
| [18:42] | and we need to get to the school, so… | 我们还要赶到学校 所以 |
| [18:44] | Oh, let me know how that goes. | 记得告诉我情况 |
| [18:45] | We got detention today. | 我们今天被留堂了 |
| [18:47] | That’s probably already in your system. | 可能你们系统里已经有记录了 |
| [18:49] | I don’t know if that’s how it works. | 我也不知道具体要怎么办 |
| [18:50] | Yeah, we had a meeting about it with the chief. | 关于这件事 之前局长还给我们开了个会 |
| [18:52] | Oh, God. | 天哪 |
| [18:53] | Hi, honey. Sorry it took so long to get here. | 亲爱的 抱歉让你等了这么久 |
| [18:55] | There were, some, money things. | 凑钱有点小困难 |
| [18:58] | It’s fine. Hi, kids. | 没事 你们好呀 |
| [19:00] | – Hi, Mom. – Hey, there. – Hello, Mother. | -你好 妈妈 -你好呀 -你好 母亲 |
| [19:02] | You told them, didn’t you? | 你是不是跟他们说了 |
| [19:03] | – Told us what? – No. | -说什么呀 -没有啊 |
| [19:04] | I don’t even know what defecation is. | 我都不知道排便是什么意思 |
| [19:06] | Something you do at church? | 像做礼拜一样吗 |
| [19:08] | Yeah, sorry. And I told Teddy. | 好吧 抱歉 我跟泰迪说了 |
| [19:10] | And maybe a guy at the ATM. | 可能也跟提款机那里的一个人说了 |
| [19:12] | – I-I can’t really remember. – Okay, fine. | -我记不清了 -好吧 |
| [19:14] | I pooped in public and I got arrested. | 我在公共场所拉屎被捕了 |
| [19:17] | Not technically. You were detained. | 不是的 你是被拘留了 |
| [19:19] | – She got detention. – Thank you. | -她也被留堂了 -谢谢了 |
| [19:21] | So, newsflash: your mom isn’t perfect, okay? | 好吧 重大消息 你们妈妈并不完美 行了吗 |
| [19:24] | What made you think we thought you were perfect? | 你为什么觉得我们会认为你是完美的 |
| [19:26] | Yeah, you’re a work in progress. | 你还有得长进 |
| [19:28] | Hey, we should really finish this conversation I-in the car. | 我们到车上再说吧 |
| [19:30] | the conferences start in seven minutes. | 还有七分钟家长会就开始了 |
| [19:32] | So we should leave jail and go do that. | 我们现在就该离开这里出发了 |
| [19:36] | So you thought I was gonna say no TV? | 你们以为我会不让你们看电视吗 |
| [19:38] | – Kind of? – I would never. I’m not a monster. | -有点 -不会的 我又不是恶魔 |
| [19:41] | TV’s almost my favorite child. | 电视几乎算是我最爱的孩子了 |
| [19:43] | If I had a favorite. | 如果我有最爱的话 |
| [19:44] | We do celebrate its birthday. | 我们确实会庆祝它的生日 |
| [19:45] | And you thought we’d never respect you | 你还觉得我们以后会不尊敬你 |
| [19:47] | or listen to you again? | 或不再听你的话吗 |
| [19:48] | Well, yeah. Why would you, after all this? | 是的 在这一切之后 你们为什么要听呢 |
| [19:51] | Are you serious? You did time. | 你说真的吗 你坐过牢 |
| [19:53] | I respect you more than ever now. | 我现在比以往任何时候都更尊敬你 |
| [19:55] | Yeah, you’ve changed, man. You got hard. | 对 你变了 变强硬了 |
| [19:57] | And we also kind of don’t want to end up like you. | 还有我们也不想变得跟你一样 |
| [20:00] | So I… | 那我… |
| [20:01] | kind of scared you straight? | 算是把你们吓得回到正轨了 |
| [20:02] | – Damn straight. – Well, then, good. | -太正了 -那很好 |
| [20:04] | – Okay, let’s go in. – Wait a sec. Listen. | -好了 我们进去吧 -等等 听着 |
| [20:06] | – We’re already late. – So we’ll be a little late. | -我们已经迟到了 -那就再迟一点 |
| [20:08] | Here’s the thing: it is important | 你们听着 这点很重要 |
| [20:10] | for everyone to follow the rules. | 让大家都守规矩 |
| [20:12] | But sometimes we make mistakes. | 但有时我们会犯错 |
| [20:14] | Some we can control, like putting a hot dog | 有些我们能控制 比如把热狗 |
| [20:16] | in a pencil sharpener, and some we can’t. | 放进卷笔刀里 但有些我们不能 |
| [20:18] | – Like clenching your sphynxter. – “Sphincter.” | -比如夹紧你的”刮约肌” -“括约肌” |
| [20:20] | – What did I say? – Never mind. | -我说什么了 -算了 |
| [20:22] | But as long as we’re trying, | 但只要我们努力 |
| [20:23] | we’ll all be okay, you know? | 终究会没事的 好吗 |
| [20:25] | – You pooped in a bush. – Look at me. | -你拉在了灌木丛里 -看着我 |
| [20:27] | Any of you bring this up inside of that school, ever, | 你们要是有谁敢在学校里提起这茬 |
| [20:30] | the TV goes in the ocean. | 电视就扔到海里 |
| [20:32] | – Got it. – We won’t, ever! | -懂了 -我们永远不会的 |
| [20:34] | You, too, Bob. | 你也是 鲍勃 |
| [20:35] | I’m so scared of you right now. | 我现在好害怕你 |
| [20:37] | Good. Now somebody get me a baby wipe. | 很好 谁给我一张湿纸巾吧 |
| [20:39] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [20:40] | So we need a suggestion. | 我们需要建议 |
| [20:42] | Anything at all. | 什么都行 |
| [20:43] | – Underpants. – Chicken wings. | -内裤 -鸡翅 |
| [20:44] | Oh, chicken wings. | 鸡翅 |
| [20:45] | I got a great story about chicken wings. | 我有个关于鸡翅超棒的故事 |
| [20:47] | I mean, I-it’s a thing I’m just coming up with now. | 这是我刚刚才想到的 |
| [20:50] | – Okay, chicken wings. – What? | -好了 鸡翅 -什么 |
| [20:52] | One order of chicken wings, please. | 麻烦来一份鸡翅 |
| [20:55] | Oh, my God. | 天呐 |
| [20:56] | Take it easy, sir. | 放轻松 先生 |
| [20:57] | Who brought this guy? | 谁带这家伙来的 |
| [20:58] | * I started eating healthy but it made me have to deuce now * | *我开始健康饮食 但那让我想排便* |
| [21:03] | * I tried to do it stealthy but I landed in the hoosegow * | *我本想偷偷解决 结果进了看守所* |
| [21:08] | * This song I’d like to dedicate * | *这首歌我想献给* |
| [21:10] | * To everyone who’s defecate * | *所有排泄的各位* |
| [21:13] | * -ed in public * | *在公共场合排泄过的各位* |
| [21:16] | * Try to hold it, try to hold it * | *努力憋住 努力憋住* |
| [21:17] | * Just as long as you can * | *尽可能久地努力憋住* |
| [21:18] | * For there might be repercussions * | *因为憋不住可能有不良后果* |
| [21:20] | * If you try to drop anchor * | *如果你打算拉屎* |
| [21:21] | * Try to hold it, try to hold it, try to hold it * | *努力憋住 努力憋住 努力憋住* |
| [21:23] | * Try to hold it, try to hold it, try to hold it * | *努力憋住 努力憋住 努力憋住* |
| [21:24] | * Hold it, hold it in * | *憋住 憋住* |
| [21:26] | * I’m gonna make it * | *我能成功* |
| [21:28] | * I’m not gonna break it * | *我能憋住* |
| [21:29] | * Gonna hold it, gonna hold it, hold it in. * | *要憋住 要憋住 要憋住* |