| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | Good morning, Cousin Tommy. I love you. | 早安 Tommy表亲 我爱你 |
| [00:08] | Good morning, Cousin Mel. I love you. | 早安 Mel表亲 我爱你 |
| [00:13] | Good morning, Cousin Sam. I love you. | 早安 Sam表亲 我爱你 |
| [00:16] | Good morning, Cousin Tommy. I love you. | 早安 Tommy表亲 我爱你 |
| [00:20] | Good morning, Cousin Becca. I love you. | 早安 Becca表亲 我爱你 |
| [00:22] | Good morning, Cousin Sam. I love you. | 早安 Sam表亲 我爱你 |
| [00:27] | Good morning, Pappy Boyle. I love you. | 早安 Boyle老爹 我爱你 |
| [00:30] | Good morning, Becca. I love you. | 早安 Becca 我爱你 |
| [00:34] | Ooh, extra-long hug. | 哇 加长版拥抱 |
| [00:36] | What got into you this morning, Pappy? | 老爹 你今天早上怎么了 |
| [00:41] | Pappy? | 老爹 |
| [00:44] | Pappy! | 老爹 |
| [01:09] | Charles Oh, Charles. | |
| [01:11] | I’m so sorry about your great-uncle Pappy. | 我对你叔祖父老爹的去世感到非常遗憾 |
| [01:12] | You holding up okay? | 你还好吗 |
| [01:13] | I’ve been managing. | 还能应付过去 |
| [01:15] | Mm… Have you though? | 嗯 真的吗 |
| [01:16] | Number two, step up. | 二号 上前一步 |
| [01:17] | Say, “Charles, it’s Pappy. I’ll always love you.” | 说”Charles 我是老爹 我永远爱你” |
| [01:19] | Okay. Uh, “Charles, it’s Pappy. | 好的 呃 “Charles 我是老爹 |
| [01:21] | I’ll always love you.” | 我永远爱你” |
| [01:22] | Then why did you leave me? | 那你为什么离开我 |
| [01:24] | Anyway, thanks for coming with me to the funeral. | 好吧 很感谢你们和我一起去参加葬礼 |
| [01:26] | I think we’re all packed. | 应该都准备好出发了吧 |
| [01:27] | I just got to go grab the coffin. | 我去把棺材拿过来 |
| [01:28] | Wait, why are you bringing the coffin? | 等等 为什么你要带棺材过去 |
| [01:30] | I brought a coffin to my nana’s funeral on a whim, | 我那时心血来潮 带了个棺材去祖母的葬礼 |
| [01:32] | and it was a big hit. | 轰动了全场 |
| [01:33] | So now, guess who’s the coffin cousin? | 所以 猜猜现在谁是棺材表亲 |
| [01:36] | Got to say, Terry, | Terry 不得不说 |
| [01:37] | I’m a little surprised you’re coming to this. | 我有点吃惊你居然会去葬礼 |
| [01:38] | Honestly, I need a break from the kids. | 说实话 我得远离孩子们 休息一下 |
| [01:40] | Cagney and Lacey keep trying to trick me into | Cagney和Lacey一直想着恶搞我 |
| [01:42] | falling down the stairs on TikTok. | 拍我从楼上摔下来的视频发抖音 |
| [01:43] | Terry can’t sprain another ankle. | Terry不能再扭伤另一个脚踝了 |
| [01:45] | Well, I, for one, am pumped to be going. | 好吧 我已经蓄势待发非常兴奋了 |
| [01:47] | – To a funeral? – I’m so bored, Terry. | – 去参加葬礼诶 – 我太无聊了 Terry |
| [01:48] | I’ve been suspended for 87 days. | 我已经被停职87天了 |
| [01:50] | Mac gets dropped off at day care, | Mac被送去日托中心了 |
| [01:51] | and I just sit at home playing “Animal Crossing.” | 我只能呆在家玩<动物森友会> |
| [01:53] | But no one will buy my bugs or fossils. | 但没人愿意买我的虫子和化石 |
| [01:55] | I’m desperate for some normal human interaction. | 我急切需要一些正常人类间的互动 |
| [01:57] | Coffin delivery! | 棺材速递 |
| [02:00] | Okay, fine. It doesn’t have to be normal or human. | 好吧 不太正常 不是人类间的互动也行 |
| [02:02] | Any interaction will work. | 什么互动都行 |
| [02:03] | Yo. You forgot your lunch. | 哟 你忘记带午餐了 |
| [02:05] | Oh. Thank you, Diaz. | 哦 谢谢你 Diaz |
| [02:06] | Sir, I didn’t realize you were still staying at Rosa’s. | 长官 我没想到你还住在Rosa家 |
| [02:08] | I thought couple’s counseling was going well. | 我以为婚姻咨询进展良好 |
| [02:10] | Not anymore. | 并没有 |
| [02:11] | At Kevin’s request, I offered to reduce my work hours by 26%. | 应Kevin的要求 我提议将我的工作时间减少26% |
| [02:14] | Kevin countered with 50. | Kevin反驳我 提议减少50% |
| [02:15] | Which I countered with 30. | 而我再度反驳 提议30% |
| [02:16] | Then Kevin says 40– | 然后Kevin提议40% |
| [02:17] | Seems like a lot of math for therapy. | 对于咨询来说 好像有太多数学元素了 |
| [02:19] | That’s what Dr. Cheryl said… | Cheryl医生也这么说 |
| [02:21] | which is why we fired her, | 所以我们辞退了她 |
| [02:23] | and now we’re working with Dr. Ramanujan. | 我们现在的医生是Ramanujan |
| [02:24] | He’s a physicist with a nice, concrete worldview. | 他是名物理学家 有一个完整切实的世界观 |
| [02:27] | Anyway, Kevin refuses to budge from 36%. | 反正 Kevin不肯让步 坚持36% |
| [02:30] | And I’m starting to worry that I might lose to him. | 我开始担心我会输给他 |
| [02:33] | You mean lose him. | 你是说失去他 |
| [02:34] | No. Lose to him. | 不 是输给他 |
| [02:35] | Therapy is a chess match. | 咨询就是一场象棋比赛 |
| [02:37] | And…I will prevail. | 而我必将获胜 |
| [02:39] | Or it’s about saving your marriage. | 或许咨询是为了拯救你的婚姻 |
| [02:42] | You should make a grand romantic gesture. | 你应该表现出浪漫而宏伟的姿态 |
| [02:44] | – Ugh, so dumb. – Seriously? | – 噁 太蠢了 – 真的吗 |
| [02:46] | From the woman who loves Nancy Meyers movies? | 一个最爱南茜·迈耶斯电影的女人居然会这么认为吗 |
| [02:48] | Yeah. Here’s what I’ve learned as a PI. | 对 作为一名私家侦探 我学到了很多 |
| [02:49] | People suck, everyone cheats, and love is an illusion. | 人类糟透了 人人出轨 爱情只是一场幻象 |
| [02:52] | Nancy Meyers is a fool, and Holt should start dating. | 南茜·迈耶斯就是一个傻子 Holt应该开始约会 |
| [02:54] | – What? – You heard me. | – 什么 – 你没听错 |
| [02:55] | It’s the only way you’re gonna beat Kevin. | 只有这样你才能战胜Kevin |
| [02:57] | I’m thinking about it. I’m considering it, | 我在思考 我在考虑 |
| [02:59] | and I’ve decided. | 我决定了 |
| [03:02] | I’m in. | 我加入 |
| [03:04] | Here it is. | 就是这了 |
| [03:05] | Pappy Boyle’s farm. | Boyle老爹的农场 |
| [03:06] | I spent every summer here as a kid. | 我还是个孩子的时候 每年都在这儿度过夏天 |
| [03:08] | Got to say, it’s nicer than I was expecting. | 我得说 比我期待中好很多 |
| [03:10] | Pappy did well for himself. | 老爹过得很好 |
| [03:11] | He went to business school in New York. | 他在纽约读了商学院 |
| [03:13] | He got a job in Wall Street. | 在华尔街工作 |
| [03:14] | And one day his hand got caught in a subway door. | 但有一天 他的手被地铁门夹住了 |
| [03:16] | And he was dragged from Times Square into Queens. | 他从时代广场被拖到了皇后区 |
| [03:18] | Largest settlement in city history. | 纽约城有史以来给过的最大一笔赔款 |
| [03:21] | Pappy should’ve used that cash on pest control. | 老爹应该把钱花在害虫治理上 |
| [03:23] | There’s giant rats everywhere. | 这儿到处都是大老鼠 |
| [03:25] | Those are nutria, Terry. | 那些是海狸鼠 Terry |
| [03:26] | They’re nothing like rats. | 他们和老鼠完全不同 |
| [03:27] | They have meatier haunches, | 他们屁股更圆润 |
| [03:28] | and their teeth are more orange. | 而且牙齿更偏橙色 |
| [03:30] | You know, nutria are actually great pets. | 你知道吗 其实海狸鼠是很好的宠物 |
| [03:32] | They’re affectionate and smart. | 它们非常亲人 也很聪明 |
| [03:33] | They know how to open doors. | 它们知道怎么开门 |
| [03:34] | Plus, you can milk them. | 而且你可以挤它们的奶喝 |
| [03:35] | But…should you? | 但是 有必要吗 |
| [03:37] | Pappy drank nutria milk, | 老爹就喝海狸鼠奶 |
| [03:38] | and he was fit as a fiddle. | 而且他身体超健康 |
| [03:39] | Anyway, you got to see the house. | 你们来看看屋子吧 |
| [03:41] | I can’t wait to show you the rug I was born on. | 我等不及给你们看我诞生时的那个垫子了 |
| [03:44] | Sure it’s been cleaned since then. | 在那之后当然已经被清洁干净了吧 |
| [03:45] | Charles Boyle, I love you. | Charles Boyle 我爱你 |
| [03:47] | Sam Boyle, I love you. | Sam Boyle 我爱你 |
| [03:56] | Where’s that dead body? | 尸体在哪 |
| [03:57] | He’s in the barn, and he looks adorable. | 在谷仓里 他看起来可爱极了 |
| [03:59] | Ah, terrific. | 啊 好极了 |
| [04:01] | And everything’s set for the funeral? | 葬礼的一切都安排好了吗 |
| [04:02] | There’s one little issue. | 有一个小问题 |
| [04:03] | We can’t find Pappy’s will. | 我们找不到老爹的遗嘱了 |
| [04:04] | – What? – He wanted to leave the farm to the Council of Cousins, | – 什么 – 他想把这个农场留给表亲委员会 |
| [04:07] | but if we don’t find those papers, | 但如果我们找不到文件的话 |
| [04:08] | it goes to Cousin Lyndon. | 农场就要给Lyndon表亲了 |
| [04:09] | Oh, no. | 哦不 |
| [04:10] | – Who’s Cousin Lyndon? – Pappy’s son. | – 表亲Lyndon是谁 – 老爹的儿子 |
| [04:12] | He’s the black sheep of the family. | 他是家族里的另类黑羊 |
| [04:13] | Wait, so we have a wealthy patriarch who mysteriously died, | 等等 所以我们现在有一名离奇逝世的长者 |
| [04:17] | a missing will, | 一份遗失的遗嘱 |
| [04:17] | and a black sheep set to inherit everything? | 以及一名要继承一切的家族另类 |
| [04:20] | Am I the only one who suspects foul play here? | 就我一个人觉得这可能是一场谋杀吗 |
| [04:21] | He didn’t die mysteriously. He was 93. | 他并非离奇逝世 他已经93岁了 |
| [04:24] | He was fit as fiddle, Terry. | 他超级健康呢 Terry |
| [04:25] | From all the nutria milk. | 因为海狸鼠奶 |
| [04:27] | Don’t be ridiculous. | 别搞笑了 |
| [04:28] | No Boyle would ever commit murder. | Boyle家族的人是不会谋杀的 |
| [04:29] | Boyles don’t even get mad at each other. | Boyle家族甚至不会对彼此生气 |
| [04:31] | Except in that rare instance of cousin-on-cousin jealousy. | 不过偶尔也会有表亲嫉恨 |
| [04:34] | You’re just bored from your suspension | 你不过是因为被停职而无聊过头 |
| [04:35] | and desperate to find a case to work. | 所以想要找个案子来破 |
| [04:37] | No. That’s not it. | 不 不是这样 |
| [04:38] | I’m just telling you, | 我告诉你们 |
| [04:39] | something doesn’t smell right here. | 这儿有些事情感觉(闻起来)不太对 |
| [04:41] | Oh, yeah. That’s Pappy’s body. | 哦对 是老爹的尸体 |
| [04:42] | Cousin Mel did the embalming in here, | Mel表亲在这给尸体做了防腐处理 |
| [04:44] | and I think she forgot to add something. | 但我觉得她忘了加些东西 |
| [04:47] | Well…that’s a disturbing revelation. | 好吧 这个揭示有点让人不适啊 |
| [04:51] | Hey. What’s going on? | 嘿 在干什么 |
| [04:53] | I’m helping Holt pick a dating site. | 我在帮Holt选约会网站 |
| [04:54] | Oh, this looks good. | 这个看起来不错 |
| [04:55] | PhDs only. | 仅供博士 |
| [04:57] | Uh, actually in this context, | 呃 在这个语境下 |
| [04:58] | PHD stands for Pretty Huge Dick. | PHD指的是超大屌 |
| [05:00] | Oh, my. | 天哪 |
| [05:02] | I can only assume that MDs only stands for Medium Dick. | 那我猜 MD只能表示中号屌了 |
| [05:04] | Rosa, can I talk to you for a second? | Rosa 我能和你聊聊吗 |
| [05:06] | What the hell are you doing? | 你到底在干嘛呢 |
| [05:07] | Why are you trying to get Holt and Kevin to break up? | 为什么你在让Holt和Kevin分手 |
| [05:09] | I’m trying to get Holt and Kevin back together. | 我在让Holt和Kevin重归于好 |
| [05:11] | He and Kevin are perfect for each other. | 他和Kevin就是天生一对 |
| [05:13] | He just needs to realize that. | 他只是需要意识到这一点罢了 |
| [05:14] | Once he sees what other trash is out there, | 而当他见识到外面的世界里都充斥着什么垃圾 |
| [05:16] | he’s gonna go running straight back into Kevin’s arms, | 他就会直接跑回到Kevin的怀抱里 |
| [05:18] | just like in a Nancy Meyers movie. | 就像南茜·迈耶斯的电影里那样 |
| [05:20] | So you still love Nancy Meyers? | 所以你还是爱着南茜·迈耶斯的 |
| [05:21] | I will never turn my back on Nancy Meyers. | 我永远不会背叛南茜·迈耶斯 |
| [05:23] | Okay. I’m in. | 好吧 我加入 |
| [05:24] | Let operation “Lucky Number Kevin” Begin. | 开始”幸运数字Kevin”行动 |
| [05:27] | – I’m out. – No, no, no. | – 我退出 – 别别别 |
| [05:28] | We don’t have to call it that. | 我们可以换个称呼的 |
| [05:29] | Okay, then I’ll think I’ll finish up by saying | 好 我觉得我会在结尾说 |
| [05:31] | Pappy Boyle was the best hugger. | Boyle老爹是最好的拥抱者 |
| [05:34] | Which is surprising because he lost his hand in the subway. | 这很令人吃惊 因为他在地铁上失去了自己的手 |
| [05:36] | But he always said, | 但他总是说 |
| [05:37] | “You don’t hug with your hands, you hug with your heart. | “你不是用手在拥抱 你要用你的心灵去拥抱 |
| [05:41] | And your groin.” | 还有你的腹股沟” |
| [05:42] | He got that groin involved. | 他的腹股沟互动很深入 |
| [05:44] | Uh, a lot of groin talk for a eulogy. | 呃 对于一段悼词来说 腹股沟被提得有点多了 |
| [05:46] | Everyone, there’s something you need to see in the barn. | 各位 谷仓里有些东西需要你们过来看看 |
| [05:50] | The game…is afoot. | 游戏 正在进行中 |
| [05:52] | Pappy Boyle was 93. | Boyle老爹93岁了 |
| [05:54] | Who would’ve suspected that his death stemmed from anything | 没人会怀疑他的死亡别有他因 |
| [05:57] | other than the cruel embrace of Father Time? | 只会觉得是时间之父残酷地拥抱了他 |
| [05:58] | To suggest as much might get someone labeled | 这样的提议也许会让某人被打上标签 |
| [06:01] | a crackpot, a kook, | 一个疯子 一个怪人 |
| [06:02] | someone that’s “Bored with their suspension.” | 一个”厌倦了停职”的人 |
| [06:04] | Can you cut the “Harriet The Spy” Windup? | 你能别在这装<小侦探哈里特>了吗 |
| [06:06] | It stinks in here. | 这里臭死了 |
| [06:07] | What you’re smelling, Terry, is duplicity and deceit. | Terry 你闻到的是奸诈和欺骗的味道 |
| [06:10] | I think it’s actually Pappy’s organs. | 我觉得其实是老爹内脏的味儿 |
| [06:11] | Sam, you’re kind of messing with my flow right now. | Sam 你打扰到我思考了 |
| [06:13] | Point is, I was examining the body, and I found something. | 重点是 我在检查尸体时发现了一些东西 |
| [06:17] | Classic ulceration and desquamation of the mouth. | 典型的口腔溃疡和脱水掉皮症状 |
| [06:20] | Telltale signs of poisoning. | 是中毒的迹象 |
| [06:24] | In other words… | 换句话说 |
| [06:25] | What we have ourselves here is a good ol’ fashioned murder… | 我们现在看到的是一个经典的谋杀案 |
| [06:31] | Oh, no. | 不是吧 |
| [06:33] | Of a man who you all loved dearly. | 目标是那个你们深爱的男人 |
| [06:34] | I shouldn’t have done the “Knives Out” Accent. | 我就不该模仿<利刃出鞘>里的口音 |
| [06:38] | All right. A man has been poisoned, his will is missing, | 好 有人中毒身亡了 遗嘱消失了 |
| [06:40] | and there’s only one person who stands to profit. | 而只有一个人能从中获利 |
| [06:43] | Lyndon Boyle Lyndon Boyle. | |
| [06:44] | Lyndon’s not a killer. | Lyndon不是杀人犯 |
| [06:45] | I mean, he did skip a Boyle family Zoom last summer. | 虽然他确实缺席了去年夏天的Boyle家族视频会议 |
| [06:47] | Yeah, it’s true. | 没错 |
| [06:48] | It’s seven hours out of your day. | 不就是一天七个小时嘛 |
| [06:49] | How hard is that to fit in? | 拿出这点时间来能有多难 |
| [06:50] | Okay, let’s set up an interrogation room. | 好吧 那我们设个审讯室 |
| [06:53] | I wanna make this guy as uncomfortable as possible. | 我要用尽办法来膈应这家伙 |
| [06:57] | I thought we were going for uncomfortable. | 我以为我们要膈应他 |
| [06:58] | What’s with the rocking chair? | 这摇椅是怎么回事 |
| [07:00] | It’s a farm. All the chairs are rockers. | 这是个农场 所有的椅子都是摇椅 |
| [07:01] | But don’t worry, I under-steeped the tea. | 不过别担心 我把茶泡得不够浓 |
| [07:04] | Ugh. It’s so weak. | 呃 茶味太淡了 |
| [07:06] | Why am I being treated like a criminal? | 为什么要把我当成罪犯来对待 |
| [07:08] | Okay. I stand corrected. | 好吧 我认错 |
| [07:09] | We’d like to ask you a few questions. | 我们想问你几个问题 |
| [07:11] | Tell us about your last contact with your father. | 说说你最后一次和你父亲的接触吧 |
| [07:13] | Pappy? | 老爹吗 |
| [07:13] | Well, I saw him at his birthday party. | 我在他的生日派对上见过他 |
| [07:15] | Mm-hmm. And was there anything unusual about that night? | 嗯哼 当晚有什么不寻常的事吗 |
| [07:17] | Nothing unusual at all. | 什么事都没有 |
| [07:18] | We ate a pig from snout to anus, | 我们把一头猪从头到腚吃得一干二净 |
| [07:20] | and then took turns giving each other head massages. | 然后轮流给彼此做头部按摩 |
| [07:23] | I was tired. So I found Pappy, | 我累了 所以我找到了老爹 |
| [07:25] | wished him a happy birthday. | 祝他生日快乐 |
| [07:26] | We hugged for six minutes. | 我们拥抱了六分钟 |
| [07:28] | It was the last time I saw him alive. | 那是我最后一次见到活着的他 |
| [07:31] | Did you see those tears? | 你看到那些眼泪了吗 |
| [07:32] | No way he did it. | 不可能是他干的 |
| [07:33] | Are you serious? | 你是认真的吗 |
| [07:34] | Anyone can fake cry. | 谁都能装哭 |
| [07:36] | You just have to think of something sad. | 你只要想点悲伤的事就行 |
| [07:37] | Like that episode of “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” | 比如有一集<忍者神龟>里 |
| [07:39] | when Leonardo was in a coma. | 有李奥纳多昏迷的剧情 |
| [07:40] | And that works? | 有用吗 |
| [07:41] | Yeah. | 当然 |
| [07:42] | Yeah, it does. | 是的 没错 |
| [07:44] | Now, come on. | 来吧 |
| [07:45] | Let’s go poke some holes in Lyndon’s story. | 我们去从Lyndon的口供里找漏洞吧 |
| [07:46] | It was such a great party. Everyone had the best time. | 派对太棒了 大家都玩得很开心 |
| [07:50] | I mean, except for Lyndon. | 我是说 除了Lyndon |
| [07:51] | Lyndon wasn’t happy? | Lyndon不开心吗 |
| [07:52] | Yeah, it was strange. | 是啊 很奇怪 |
| [07:53] | He was passing through the living room. | 他正经过客厅 |
| [07:55] | I asked him if he wanted a little HJ. | 我问他想不想来点头活 |
| [07:57] | But he just ignored me. | 但他无视了我 |
| [07:58] | I mean, who doesn’t want an HJ from their cousin? | 说实话 谁不想要来自表亲的头活呢 |
| [08:01] | Hold up. An HJ? | 等等 头活是啥 |
| [08:02] | A head job. A massage. | 头部活动 按摩 |
| [08:04] | Isn’t that what everyone calls it? | 大家不都这么叫吗 |
| [08:05] | – You bet. – Absolutely not. | -那可不 – 绝对不是 |
| [08:07] | Okay, so why was Lyndon angry? | 好吧 那Lyndon为什么生气 |
| [08:08] | I bet it was whatever Pappy said to him. | 我猜是因为老爹对他说的话 |
| [08:11] | Wait. What Pappy said when? | 等等 老爹什么时候说的话 |
| [08:12] | When they were in Pappy’s study. | 他们在老爹书房的时候 |
| [08:13] | We heard raised voices. | 我们听到他们声音变大 |
| [08:14] | – And then Lyndon said… – Good night. | – 然后Lyndon说了 – 晚安 |
| [08:16] | Walked out of the room, | 走出了房间 |
| [08:17] | and closed the door behind him. | 然后把门关上了 |
| [08:18] | That’s all he said? Good night? | 他就说了这些吗 晚安 |
| [08:20] | Gentlemen… | 先生们 |
| [08:22] | I just solved this case. | 我已经破了这个案子了 |
| [08:24] | Sir, if you wanna get a date off of these sites, | 长官 如果你想从这些网站上成功约到人 |
| [08:27] | you’re gonna have to give me | 你就得多下点功夫 |
| [08:28] | a little more from your profile photo. | 整张好点的头像照片 |
| [08:29] | I just gave you a series of eight poses, | 我已经给了你摆了一系列八个姿势 |
| [08:32] | each increasing in sexual provocativeness by one-eighth. | 每张的性感程度依次递增八分之一 |
| [08:35] | If you wanted septiles or deciles of sexiness, | 如果你想要七分位数或十分位数的性感 |
| [08:38] | you should’ve told me. | 你应该提前告诉我 |
| [08:39] | What? | 啥 |
| [08:40] | Why do you care so much, Santiago? | 你在意些什么 Santiago |
| [08:42] | I thought you didn’t like the idea of me dating. | 我以为你不想让我去约会 |
| [08:43] | Yes, initially. | 一开始是这样想的 |
| [08:44] | But then I thought about your metaphor | 但我又想到了你的比喻 |
| [08:47] | about how relationships are like a chess match. | 恋爱就像一场国际象棋 |
| [08:49] | – Mm-hmm. – And it really convinced me. | – 嗯哼 – 我被说服了 |
| [08:51] | That was a strong observation. | 你观察得很到位了 |
| [08:52] | So why don’t you think of this profile photo | 你为什么不把这张头像 |
| [08:55] | as an epic chess move? | 想作史诗级的一步棋呢 |
| [08:57] | Like Vladimirov’s Thunderbolt of 1987. | 就像弗拉基米罗夫1987年使出的的霹雳弹一招 |
| [09:01] | Close the door, Diaz. | 把门关上 Diaz |
| [09:02] | I’m removing my collar stays. | 我要把领撑去掉了 |
| [09:05] | Why am I back here? | 我为什么又被叫回来了 |
| [09:06] | Like I told you, it was a typical night. | 我告诉过你们 那是个普通的夜晚 |
| [09:09] | Right. Cousin kissing circle, | 对 表亲们围圈亲吻 |
| [09:10] | everyone gets burped after dinner– | 每个人吃完饭都开始打嗝 |
| [09:11] | normal stuff. | 正常操作 |
| [09:13] | But let’s talk about what happened | 但我们还是要谈谈 |
| [09:13] | after the burping, shall we? | 打嗝之后的事 好吗 |
| [09:15] | What are you getting at? | 你想说什么 |
| [09:17] | What exactly do you think happened that night? | 你觉得那晚到底发生了什么 |
| [09:18] | I’m so glad you asked. | 问得好 |
| [09:19] | I think Pappy called you into his study | 我觉得老爹叫你去他书房 |
| [09:22] | and told you he was cutting you out of his will. | 是要告诉你他要把你从遗嘱中剔除 |
| [09:24] | Tempers flared. Voices were raised. | 大发脾气 大声嚷嚷 |
| [09:26] | – What? – You were furious you wouldn’t be inheriting the farm. | – 什么 – 你因为不能继承农场而大发雷霆 |
| [09:28] | I don’t even want the farm. | 我根本不想要农场 |
| [09:29] | I’ve always been more of a city boy. | 我更喜欢城市生活 |
| [09:31] | I live in Poughkeepsie. | 我住在波基普西 |
| [09:33] | Well, I guess that settles it. | 我没话可说了 |
| [09:35] | Except you didn’t say I love you. | 但是 你没说”我爱你” |
| [09:37] | Excuse me? | 你说什么 |
| [09:38] | When you left, you said “Good night.” | 你走的时候只说了”晚安” |
| [09:39] | You didn’t say “I love you.” | 你没说”我爱你” |
| [09:41] | Now, you may be a black sheep, but you’re still a Boyle. | 你也许是个另类 但你还是Boyle家的人 |
| [09:43] | And a Boyle always says “I love you.” | Boyle家的人总是说”我爱你” |
| [09:44] | – Not always. – Look around you. | – 没有很经常吧 – 看看你周围 |
| [09:46] | It’s written everywhere. | 到处都写着呢 |
| [09:50] | Okay, fine. We were fighting. | 好吧 我们当时在吵架 |
| [09:52] | But not over the will. | 但不是为了遗嘱 |
| [09:53] | Pappy was mad at me for missing that Zoom call this summer. | 老爹很生气 因为我缺席了今年夏天的家族视频通话 |
| [09:55] | I mean honestly, Lyndon, what did you expect would happen? | 说实话Lyndon 不然你以为会怎样 |
| [09:57] | He said I was a disgrace to the Boyle name. | 他说我是Boyle家族的耻辱 |
| [10:00] | So I didn’t say “I love you.” | 所以我没说”我爱你” |
| [10:01] | I just stormed out to the shed. | 我就冲进了棚屋 |
| [10:03] | I went to get the Grandmother Dough. | 准备去拿老祖母酵种了 |
| [10:05] | The Grandmother Dough? | 老祖母酵种 |
| [10:06] | Here it is. | 找到了 |
| [10:07] | The original Boyle family sourdough starter, | 最古早的Boyle家族酵种 |
| [10:10] | the mother of the mother dough. | 母酵种的老母亲 |
| [10:12] | It’s still good, | 品质依然是好的 |
| [10:13] | but the lid on the jar has been stuck for over a hundred years. | 但罐子的盖子已经卡了有一百多年了 |
| [10:16] | There’s an old family legend that it can only be opened by | 有一个古老的家族传说讲过 能打开它的 |
| [10:19] | The One True Boyle. | 只有那个唯一的天选Boyle |
| [10:21] | I wanted to show my dad that I was not a disgrace to the family. | 我想让我爸知道 我不是家族的耻辱 |
| [10:24] | But I couldn’t budge it. | 但我根本拧不开 |
| [10:25] | Maybe he was right. | 也许他是对的 |
| [10:26] | Oh, Lyndon. What a tale. | 噢Lyndon 真是个好故事 |
| [10:27] | But I don’t think that’s why you came in this barn at all. | 但我觉得这根本不是你来谷仓的原因 |
| [10:30] | I think you came in here | 我觉得你来这里 |
| [10:31] | for this. | 就是为了这个 |
| [10:33] | Is that nutria poison? | 那是海狸鼠毒药吗 |
| [10:34] | It’s rat poison. Nutria are pets. | 这是老鼠药 海狸鼠是宠物 |
| [10:36] | You psychopath. | 你这个精神病 |
| [10:38] | Ah. Nitrobenzene. | 啊 硝基苯 |
| [10:39] | That causes the exact type of ulcers | 它所能导致的溃疡 |
| [10:41] | we found in Pappy Boyle’s mouth. | 和我们在Boyle老爹嘴里发现的一模一样 |
| [10:43] | And look what we have here. | 再看看这是什么 |
| [10:46] | A single brown hair, | 一根棕色毛发 |
| [10:49] | belonging to the murderer. | 而它的主人 就是凶手 |
| [10:51] | Terry, please send this off to the local police station | Terry 请把这个送到当地警局 |
| [10:53] | for a DNA test. | 做下DNA测试 |
| [10:54] | Now all we need is one of your hairs, Lyndon. | 现在 我们只需要你的一根毛发 Lyndon |
| [10:57] | I didn’t kill my father. Why am I being singled out? | 我没有杀我父亲 为什么只针对我 |
| [11:00] | Why not take a hair from every Boyle | 不如每个Boyle都贡献一根头发 |
| [11:01] | so Cousin Lyndon doesn’t feel that way? | 这样Lyndon表亲就不会这么想了 |
| [11:03] | Sure, great idea. I’ll go first. | 当然 好主意 我先来 |
| [11:05] | I mean it’s more work for the lab, but it’s fine with me. | 虽然这会加大实验室的工作量 但我没意见 |
| [11:07] | Are you okay with that, Lyndon? | 你能接受吗 Lyndon |
| [11:09] | Oh, wow. Went with a nose hair. | 哇哦 用鼻毛 |
| [11:10] | Didn’t see that coming. | 真没想到 |
| [11:12] | But it’s definitely long enough. | 但绝对够长了 |
| [11:13] | No. | 不要 |
| [11:15] | Okay, sir. This app’s pretty simple. | 好了 长官 这个软件很简单 |
| [11:16] | If you don’t like the guy’s profile, you click “Dang,” | 如果你不喜欢他的个人资料 就点”我艹” |
| [11:18] | and if you do, you click “Daaang.” | 如果你喜欢 就点”我草草草” |
| [11:20] | That sounds needlessly confusing. | 听上去好混乱 |
| [11:21] | Why? “Dang” Is bad | 怎么了 “我艹”表示不喜欢 |
| [11:22] | and “Daaang” Is good. | “我草草草” 表示喜欢 |
| [11:23] | Okay, let’s thin this herd. | 好了 让我们来选选人 |
| [11:25] | Untucked shirt, no thank you. | 不束衬衣 谢谢不约 |
| [11:27] | Born in San Diego, yikes. | 圣地亚哥生人 噫 |
| [11:29] | An adult named Todd? | 一个成年人 名叫Todd |
| [11:31] | So this is what online dating is like? | 线上交友就是这样而已吗 |
| [11:33] | I didn’t realize. | 我真没想到 |
| [11:35] | Realize how good you have it with Kevin? | 没想到你跟Kevin之间的爱是多么美好 |
| [11:36] | No, how it hasn’t changed. | 没想到居然没什么变化 |
| [11:37] | You still have to pick someone based on looks | 还是得看脸挑人 |
| [11:40] | and hope for a connection later. | 期待之后能交心 |
| [11:41] | Oh, Lord, help me. | 老天爷 出现了 |
| [11:42] | I’m going for it. | 这个我要冲 |
| [11:43] | I’m clicking “Dang.” | 我要点”我艹”了 |
| [11:44] | No. “Dang” Is bad. Click “Daaang.” | 不 “我艹” 是不喜欢 应该点”我草草草” |
| [11:46] | Why is this so confusing? | 这个怎么这么混乱 |
| [11:48] | How do I get Hot Todd back? | 我怎么才能把帅Todd刷回来 |
| [11:50] | DNA results are in. | DNA测试结果出来了 |
| [11:52] | Ooh, and? Who did it? | 唔 所以呢 谁干的 |
| [11:53] | It was Lyndon, right? | 是Lyndon 对吧 |
| [11:54] | Hair is… | 毛发是 |
| [11:55] | “Rodent in origin.” | “来自啮齿目动物” |
| [11:57] | What? Doesn’t make any sense. | 什么 这说不通啊 |
| [11:58] | Here, forward it to me. | 转发给我 |
| [11:59] | Must’ve been a nutria hair. | 肯定是根海狸鼠的毛 |
| [12:00] | Those things are everywhere. Ugh. | 这玩意儿遍地都是 噁 |
| [12:02] | Wait a minute. This is weird. | 等一下 不对啊 |
| [12:03] | According to the DNA results, | DNA的检测结果显示 |
| [12:04] | everyone in the Boyle family is related except one. | Boyle家族里 只有一个人跟其他人都没有血亲关系 |
| [12:07] | – Lyndon? – No. | – Lyndon – 不是 |
| [12:08] | Charles. | 是Charles |
| [12:10] | Charles Boyle Charles Boyle | |
| [12:12] | isn’t a Boyle. | 不是一名Boyle |
| [12:15] | That DNA test has to be wrong. | DNA测试绝对搞错了 |
| [12:17] | I mean, Charles is the most Boyle-y of all the Boyles. | Charles是这堆Boyle里最Boyle的一个 |
| [12:20] | You know what? I’m gonna call Charles’ dad, | 这么着吧 我给Charles的爸爸打电话 |
| [12:21] | get to the bottom of this. | 问问到底怎么回事 |
| [12:25] | Hey, Lynn? It’s Jake. | 嘿 Lynn 我是Jake |
| [12:27] | Hi. Hey, can I ask you | 嘿 我能不能简单问下 |
| [12:28] | about Charles’ paternity real quick? | Charles的亲生父亲是谁 |
| [12:32] | All right. Thanks, Lynn. Bye. | 这样啊 谢了Lynn 再见 |
| [12:33] | What on Earth took so long? | 怎么打了这么长时间 |
| [12:35] | Well, the first five hours | 呃 前五个小时 |
| [12:36] | was mostly just sobbing and gasping for air. | 基本上都是他哼哼唧唧在哭 |
| [12:38] | Then he told me that Charles’ mom had an affair with a rival florist. | 然后他告诉我 Charles的妈妈曾经出轨搞过一个花店的竞争对手 |
| [12:42] | Lynn always suspected he might’ve been Charles’ dad, | Lynn一直怀疑自己是不是Charles的父亲 |
| [12:44] | but he decided he loved him so much, it didn’t matter. | 但他还是决定对Charles视若己出 不管是不是亲生的 |
| [12:46] | I don’t understand. | 我不明白了 |
| [12:47] | Charles looks just like all the other Boyles. | Charles看起来就跟其他Boyle一样啊 |
| [12:49] | Apparently that’s not genetic. | 很显然他们的身材不是遗传的 |
| [12:50] | The Boyles cuddle their children so much, | Boyles家族的人都太喜欢搂孩子 |
| [12:52] | it shapes their bones that way. | 久而久之 骨头就成型了 |
| [12:53] | He likened it to how they grow square watermelons. | 他说他们种方形西瓜也是这个原理 |
| [12:55] | Oh, my God. | 我的天啊 |
| [12:57] | We can’t tell Charles. | 我们不能告诉Charles |
| [12:58] | You wanna lie to our dear friend | 你想要对我们亲爱的朋友他撒谎 |
| [12:59] | about the one thing | 不告诉他这一件 |
| [13:00] | that’s most important to him in the whole world? | 对他来说是世界上最重要的事吗 |
| [13:03] | – Yes. – Okay, good, me too. | – 没错 – 好 太好了 我也是 |
| [13:04] | Now all we have to do is prove that Cousin Lyndon is the murderer | 现在我们只需要证明表亲Lyndon就是凶手 |
| [13:07] | before Charles asks about the DNA results. | 趁Charles还没问DNA结果的事 |
| [13:09] | Hi, guys. | 嗨 两位 |
| [13:10] | Ah. Hey, man. | 啊 嘿 兄弟 |
| [13:12] | Where’d you come from? | 你从哪冒出来的 |
| [13:12] | I slinked up. | 我溜出来的 |
| [13:13] | You know how good Boyles are at slinking. | 你懂的 我们Boyles都很擅长偷溜 |
| [13:14] | It’s because of our fleshy toe pads. | 因为我们都长着肉肉的脚垫 |
| [13:16] | Right. And you, Charles, | 是喔 而你 Charles |
| [13:18] | have said fleshy toe pads | 就有你所说的肉肉的脚垫 |
| [13:20] | because you are a Boyle, | 因为你是一名Boyle |
| [13:21] | from snout to anus. | 从头到腚都是 |
| [13:25] | “A Boyle from snout to anus.” | “从头到腚都是Boyle” |
| [13:28] | That is so sweet. | 说得真好 |
| [13:29] | I’m stealing that for the eulogy. | 我要把这句话加到悼词里 |
| [13:30] | Ah, you don’t have to. | 啊 倒也不必 |
| [13:31] | Huh. | 哈 |
| [13:33] | It’s the exact time we agreed to meet for our date, | 我们定好的见面时间就是此时此刻 |
| [13:35] | and he’s not here. | 而他还没有出现 |
| [13:35] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉你要等 |
| [13:36] | I know how you value punctuality. | 我知道你非常重视守时 |
| [13:38] | In my employees. | 那是用来要求手下的 |
| [13:39] | But in potential suitors, | 对潜在的意中人 |
| [13:40] | I don’t mind one or two minutes of tardiness. | 我不介意这一两分钟的迟到 |
| [13:42] | I like a bad boy. | 我就喜欢坏小子 |
| [13:44] | Now, if you’ll excuse me, | 好了 如果你们不介意 |
| [13:46] | I’m going to go to the bathroom to wash my hands, | 我要去卫生间里清洁一下我的手 |
| [13:48] | in case we shake. | 以防我们要握手 |
| [13:50] | Ooh. | 喔 |
| [13:53] | I thought the point was | 这个计划不应该是 |
| [13:54] | for Holt to bail before he got to an actual date. | Holt真去约会之前就让他放弃吗 |
| [13:56] | It is. But this works too. | 是 但现在这样也能成 |
| [13:57] | I mean, did you see the dude he matched with? | 你有没有看他约的那个大兄弟 |
| [13:59] | He calls himself a doctor, | 他说自己是个医生 |
| [14:00] | but he’s actually a chiropractor. | 但他实际上是个骨科按摩师 |
| [14:01] | Are we sure Holt doesn’t respect chiropractors? | 那万一Holt把骨科按摩师也当回事儿呢 |
| [14:06] | I’m kidding. | 我开玩笑呢 |
| [14:08] | Ooh. There’s Todd. | 哦 Todd到了 |
| [14:11] | And here’s Holt. | Holt也出来了 |
| [14:12] | Started off strong, nice big smile. | 开头不错 微笑灿烂又友好 |
| [14:13] | Oh, not anymore. He just noticed Todd’s loafers. | 哦 不笑了 他注意到了Todd穿的是乐福鞋 |
| [14:16] | Oh, Todd, you fool. | 哦 Todd 你这个蠢蛋 |
| [14:17] | Holt thinks any shoes without laces are flip-flops. | Holt觉得所有不用系鞋带的鞋都是人字拖 |
| [14:19] | Now the moment that will send Holt running toward the exit. | 接下来 Holt应该会从紧急出口夺门而出 |
| [14:22] | When he asks Todd what he would like to drink, | 他会问Todd想喝点什么 |
| [14:24] | Todd orders, “Whatever you’re having.” | Todd会说 “跟你一样就行” |
| [14:26] | Oh Todd, you fool. Have your own opinion. | 哦 Todd 你这个蠢蛋 有点主见吧你 |
| [14:29] | Wait a second. Are they gonna sit down? | 等一下 他们是准备落座吗 |
| [14:32] | In a booth? | 还是卡座 |
| [14:33] | Oh, no, Rosa. | 完了 Rosa |
| [14:34] | Todd’s not the fool. | Todd不是蠢蛋 |
| [14:35] | We’re the fools. | 蠢蛋竟是我们俩 |
| [14:37] | I have eyes on the package. | 我已经盯上目标了 |
| [14:38] | He’s headed towards you. | 他正朝着你的方向移动 |
| [14:40] | – I’m on it. – Seriously, guys, | – 收到 – 说真的 伙计们 |
| [14:41] | why are we doing this? | 我们这是在干嘛 |
| [14:42] | We should just wait for the DNA test. | 我们等DNA检测结果就行了啊 |
| [14:44] | We will. | 我们是在等 |
| [14:45] | But the lab said it would take a week. | 但是实验室那边说要等一周 |
| [14:46] | They had to get a new tech. | 他们得去找个新的技术员 |
| [14:48] | Oh, no. Why? | 不是吧 为啥 |
| [14:49] | The old one had a bad allergic reaction to… | 旧的那个严重过敏了 |
| [14:53] | – beakers. – Ugh. | – 对烧杯过敏 – 呃 |
| [14:54] | Labs are full of them. That’s awful. | 实验室里就烧杯多 一点好处没有 |
| [14:56] | Yeah, and real. | 没错 你说的对 |
| [14:57] | Anyways, since Lyndon is our only actual suspect, | 不管怎么说 既然Lyndon是我们唯一的嫌疑人 |
| [14:59] | we might as well investigate. | 我们也需要调查 |
| [15:01] | Let me ask you this. Is he gushing? | 我问你 他的身体有没有大汗淋漓 |
| [15:02] | Don’t say those words. | 别说这几个词 |
| [15:03] | The pressure of keeping secrets | 保守秘密的压力太大了 |
| [15:04] | makes Boyles stress-sweat. | Boyle们都会因此压力暴汗 |
| [15:06] | Once, we played Mafia, | 有一次我们一起玩<四海兄弟> |
| [15:08] | and you’d never seen so many dripping wet cousins in one room. | 你再没见过一间屋子里能挤那么多汗湿的表兄弟 |
| [15:11] | Come on. | 够了 |
| [15:11] | Wait. He’s leaving the property. | 等下 他要离开房子了 |
| [15:13] | Can you stay with him? | 你能跟得上他吗 |
| [15:14] | Yeah. I think so. | 应该可以 |
| [15:15] | I just have to get around the barn and– | 我去谷仓附近埋伏起来 然后 |
| [15:18] | Terr-bear? | 熊宝Terry |
| [15:20] | I’m sorry. I was following Lyndon | 对不起 我正在跟踪Lyndon |
| [15:22] | and I crawled into that thing. | 结果匍匐前进的时候碰到了 这玩意儿 |
| [15:24] | That thing has a name. | 什么这玩意儿 它有名字的 |
| [15:25] | It’s Muffin. | 它叫Muffin |
| [15:26] | – Well, thanks to Muffin, we lost Lyndon. – Yes. | – 那真是多亏了Muffin 我们跟丢了Lyndon – 没错 |
| [15:29] | But also thanks to Muffin, | 但同样多亏了Muffin |
| [15:30] | I just solved the case of who killed Pappy Boyle. | 我知道是谁杀了Boyle老爹了 |
| [15:33] | We’re right here. | 我们就在你眼前站着呢 |
| [15:35] | Yeah. I didn’t think it would feed back. | 是喔 我没想到它会有噪声 |
| [15:38] | Oh, no, Rosa. They’re leaving together. | 完蛋了Rosa 他们要一起离开了 |
| [15:40] | What are we gonna do? | 我们要怎么办 |
| [15:41] | We stop them. | 我们要阻止他们 |
| [15:42] | Even if it means we have to kill Todd. | 哪怕杀了Todd也在所不惜 |
| [15:43] | Smart. Let’s go. | 聪明 走吧 |
| [15:46] | Looking for someone? | 在找人吗 |
| [15:47] | Sir. Uh, what’s going on? | 长官 呃 什么情况 |
| [15:49] | What’s going on is that you were trying to manipulate me, | 情况就是 你们俩企图操纵我 |
| [15:52] | but it is I who manipulated you. | 但是反而被我操纵 |
| [15:54] | How does it feel to suckle from your own tainted teat? | 自己吸自己的脏奶 感觉如何 |
| [15:58] | Not as bad as it feels to hear you say “Suckle.” | 没有听你说”吸”这个词难受 |
| [15:59] | So you were never really going home with Todd? | 所以你根本就没打算带Todd回家 |
| [16:02] | You actually think I would have relations with him? | 你还真以为我跟他会有什么进展 |
| [16:05] | His watch has a cloth strap. | 他的手表表带是布做的 |
| [16:07] | I really thought we had something. | 我真的以为我们之间有火花呢 |
| [16:08] | Wake up, Todd. I’m out of your league. | 醒醒吧Todd 你高攀不上我 |
| [16:10] | You thought you could meddle in my personal life, | 你们自认为可以摆弄我的私人生活 |
| [16:12] | but I was ten moves ahead the whole time. | 但我早已领先你们十步 |
| [16:15] | And now, checkmate. | 现在 将军 |
| [16:16] | Ooh. I love chess. | 喔 我可喜欢国际象棋了 |
| [16:17] | Have you seen “The Queen’s Gambit”? It’s a TV show. | 你们有没有看过<后翼弃兵> 是个电视剧 |
| [16:20] | Todd, I swear to God. | Todd 快给我闭嘴 |
| [16:21] | The person who killed Pappy wasn’t a person at all. | 杀了老爹的凶手其实并不是个人 |
| [16:24] | It was Muffin. | 凶手是Muffin |
| [16:25] | I checked her mouth, | 我检查过她的嘴巴 |
| [16:26] | and Muffin had the same ulcers that Pappy had. | Muffin和老爹的嘴里长了同样的溃疡 |
| [16:29] | Muffin ate the poison, and then Pappy drank her milk. | 是Muffin先误食了毒药 然后老爹喝了她的奶 |
| [16:31] | Charles, you said nutria could open doors. | Charles 你说过海狸鼠会开门 |
| [16:33] | Muffin must’ve let herself into the barn. | Muffin一定是自己开门进了谷仓 |
| [16:35] | Which explains why we found her hair on the box. | 这也就解释了为什么我们在盒子上发现了她的毛发 |
| [16:37] | So Lyndon was innocent. | 所以Lyndon是清白的 |
| [16:38] | Wait, how did you know it was Muffin’s hair? | 慢着 你怎么知道那是Muffin的毛发 |
| [16:40] | Did you get the DNA report back? | DNA测试报告拿到了吗 |
| [16:42] | – Exactly. – Wait, but I thought the report was gonna take a week | – 没错 – 等等 我以为实验报告还要等一周才能出来 |
| [16:44] | because of the lab tech’s allergies. | 因为实验室技术员过敏啊 |
| [16:45] | Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. | 啊哈 啊哈 啊哈 |
| [16:47] | But then they decided to use a subcontractor who was allergy-free, | 可之后他们决定找了个不过敏的分包商 |
| [16:49] | so let’s just move on | 所以我们继续吧 |
| [16:50] | and talk about something else immediately. | 赶紧儿聊点别的 |
| [16:51] | Three “Uh-huh’s”? | 三个”啊哈” |
| [16:52] | Clearly you’re lying about something. | 你肯定是心里有鬼在撒谎 |
| [16:54] | Why you being a jerk to me? | 你为什么要这么伤我 |
| [16:55] | Show me the report, Jake. | 给我看那份报告 Jake |
| [16:57] | Okay, fine. But just look at the top result | 行吧 好吧 就看最上面一点就好 |
| [16:58] | ’cause that’s all that matters. | 因为那就是关键所在 |
| [17:01] | “Specimen hair was rodent in nature.” | “受检测毛发归属于啮齿动物” |
| [17:02] | and that’s that. | 就是这样 |
| [17:04] | Oh, my God. | 我的老天爷啊 |
| [17:07] | I’m not a Boyle. | 我不是一名Boyle |
| [17:11] | Okay. I love you too, Dad. | 好 我也爱你 爸 |
| [17:13] | Did you guys change clothes? | 你们两把衣服都换了吗 |
| [17:15] | Yeah, Charles. It’s tomorrow now. | 是啊 Charles 这都已经是第二天了 |
| [17:16] | You been on the phone for 14 hours. | 你聊电话聊了14个小时 |
| [17:18] | Well, you know what they say, | 是啊 俗话说得好 |
| [17:20] | “Time flies | “岁月如梭 |
| [17:21] | when God pulls down his pants and takes a dump on your life.” | 尤其是当上帝扯下裤子往你人生上拉一大坨的时候” |
| [17:24] | Oh, buddy. I’m so sorry. | 哦 兄弟 我很抱歉 |
| [17:25] | Being a Boyle was the backbone of my identity. | 作为一名Boyle 是我个人身份的主心骨 |
| [17:28] | Without the Boyle backbone, I’m just a bag of flesh. | 没了这根Boyle主心骨 我不过就是一具皮囊 |
| [17:31] | – I’m goo. – Come on, you’re not goo. | – 一团粘浆罢了 – 好啦 你不是粘浆 |
| [17:33] | Being a Boyle is about more than blood. | 血缘不是成为一名Boyle的唯一 |
| [17:34] | It’s what’s in your heart. | 你的心才是最重要的 |
| [17:36] | Blood is what’s in your heart. | 可是心里滚动的就是血啊 |
| [17:37] | You’re making it worse, Jake. | 你越说越糟了 Jake |
| [17:38] | Okay, fine. Then what about Nikolaj? He was adopted, | 行 好吧 那Nikolaj呢 他是领养的嘛 |
| [17:40] | so technically, he’s not a Boyle, but that never bothered you. | 所以准确点来说 他也不是一名Boyle 可那从来没有困扰过你啊 |
| [17:43] | I didn’t even think about Niko. | 我都没有想起Niko来 |
| [17:44] | He was already a Boyle once removed which is tough enough. | 他本来就已经是隔了一层的Boyle 这就已经够艰难了 |
| [17:47] | Now he’s twice removed? | 现在还得隔了两层 |
| [17:49] | Twice-removed Boyles are a total clown show, | 隔了两层的Boyle不过就是一个过街小丑 |
| [17:52] | okay? Niko’s basically Cousin Andrea. | 好吗 Niko现在就跟Andrea表亲没差了 |
| [17:55] | Sorry, Andrea. | 对不起 Andrea |
| [17:57] | I know what I am. | 我知道自己的身份 |
| [17:59] | – Well, damn. – Look, let’s go home. | – 行吧 我了勒个去 – 算了 我们回去吧 |
| [18:01] | We’re leaving? What about the funeral? | 我们就要走了吗 葬礼怎么办 |
| [18:03] | What about the eulogy? | 你不是还要致悼词吗 |
| [18:04] | I don’t feel right giving it now. | 我现在觉得我不适合致悼词 |
| [18:05] | Sam offered to step in. I’ll have him do it. | Sam提议他能替我 我就让他上了 |
| [18:08] | No, no, no. Wait. | 不 不 不 等等 |
| [18:09] | Assemble the cousins. | 表亲们集合 |
| [18:10] | Today, we learned that Pappy Boyle’s death was not foul play. | 今天 我们认识到Boyle老爹不是死于他人之手 |
| [18:13] | But even though there was no murder, | 可尽管没有谋杀存在 |
| [18:15] | there was a robbery. | 却有人光天化日明抢 |
| [18:17] | Charles had his sense of self stolen from him | Charles的自我认知被人抢走了 |
| [18:19] | by Sam Boyle. | 劫匪就是Sam Boyle |
| [18:21] | You said it yourself, Charles, | 你自己也说了 Charles |
| [18:22] | the Boyles have a long history of cousin-on-cousin jealousy. | Boyle一家有着长久的表亲嫉恨的传统 |
| [18:25] | Sam couldn’t stand that you were chosen to give the eulogy. | Sam接受不了是你在葬礼上致悼词 |
| [18:27] | Think about it. | 想一想 |
| [18:29] | It was Sam who made sure we knew the will was missing. | 是Sam让我们知道遗嘱不见了的 |
| [18:31] | We can’t find Pappy’s will. | 我们找不到老爹的遗嘱 |
| [18:33] | Then Sam again who suggested you all get your DNA tested. | 然后是Sam提议让所有人都做DNA检测的 |
| [18:36] | Why not take a hair from every Boyle? | 不如每个Boyle都贡献一根头发 |
| [18:38] | And finally, Sam who made sure we all knew the results. | 最后 Sam确保我们所有人都知道检测报告的结果 |
| [18:41] | Did you get the DNA report back? | DNA测试报告拿到了吗 |
| [18:43] | This is ridiculous. I love Charles. | 你说的也太荒谬了 我爱Charles |
| [18:45] | Okay, well then. | 行啊 那这样子 |
| [18:47] | I’m sure you wouldn’t mind giving him a hug then. | 我觉得你肯定不会介意给他来一个拥抱咯 |
| [18:48] | Since you love him so much. | 既然你这么爱他 |
| [18:49] | Sure. I always like to hug my cousin. | 当然 我一直都很喜欢拥抱我的表亲 |
| [18:53] | He’s gushing! | 他在大汗淋漓 |
| [18:54] | Darn it. | 我靠 |
| [18:55] | I thought these would hide it, | 我以为这些能掩藏住这一点 |
| [18:57] | but I gushed through my pit diapers. | 可我已经暴汗到我的腋窝尿不湿都湿透了 |
| [18:59] | All right, fine. | 好吧 对 |
| [19:01] | I always suspected that Charles wasn’t one of us. | 我一直怀疑Charles不是我们其中一员 |
| [19:03] | I mean, he went through puberty at 13, | 我的意思是 他13岁就开始青春期 |
| [19:05] | instead of 25, | 而不是25岁 |
| [19:07] | like a normal Boyle. | 跟个正常的Boyle一样 |
| [19:08] | And when he got chosen to give the eulogy, | 而当他被选中致悼词的时候 |
| [19:12] | something inside of me snapped. | 我心里有根弦就崩了 |
| [19:13] | So I hid the will. | 所以我把遗嘱藏起来了 |
| [19:15] | I admit it. | 我认了 |
| [19:16] | Are you happy now? | 你开心了吗 |
| [19:17] | – Very. – Not at all. | – 非常 – 一点也不 |
| [19:18] | Wait, what? Charles, we solved the case. | 等等 什么 Charles 我们破案了 |
| [19:20] | – He confessed. – Doesn’t matter. | – 他承认了 – 那也没有用了 |
| [19:22] | I’m still not a Boyle. | 我依然不是一名Boyle |
| [19:24] | I’m just a normal person. | 我只是个普通人 |
| [19:28] | Normal from snout to anus. | 从头到腚 普通平凡 |
| [19:34] | We wanted to apologize. | 我们想要道歉 |
| [19:35] | And if you wanna gloat about how you outsmarted us, | 如果你想夸耀一下你是怎么比我们俩都要聪明的话 |
| [19:38] | go ahead. We deserve it. | 来吧 我们活该 |
| [19:39] | I won’t be doing any gloating. | 我不会再做任何夸耀 |
| [19:41] | I mean, I did last night. | 我昨晚已经做过了 |
| [19:43] | I went home and had a drink to toast to your humiliation. | 我回到家 我举杯庆祝你们的无地自容 |
| [19:45] | But it didn’t feel right, | 可感觉就是不对劲 |
| [19:47] | because I had no one to toast with, | 因为没人与我共举杯 |
| [19:48] | no one to share my glee. | 没人分享我的愉悦 |
| [19:49] | I had won, but I was alone. | 我赢了 但我孤身一人 |
| [19:53] | And I realized, | 然后我明白过来 |
| [19:55] | this is exactly what I’m doing to Kevin. | 这正是我对Kevin所做出的事情 |
| [19:58] | Trying to win therapy. | 试图赢得一场心理治疗 |
| [20:00] | And it hit me. | 我瞬间顿悟 |
| [20:02] | I care so much about winning | 我是那么在意要去赢这件事 |
| [20:06] | that I’ve lost everything. | 以至于我输掉了一切 |
| [20:09] | Tell Kevin how you feel. | 告诉Kevin你是怎么想的 |
| [20:11] | It’s raining. You could run to him. | 外面下雨了 你应该跑着去找他 |
| [20:14] | This is the real world, Santiago. | 这可是现实世界 Santiago |
| [20:15] | Relationships end in unsatisfying ways every day. | 每天都会有感情关系不得善终意难平 |
| [20:19] | People don’t run to each other in the rain. | 人们并不会在雨中跑着去找彼此 |
| [20:21] | Raymond! Raymond Holt! | Raymond呢 Raymond Holt |
| [20:24] | Kevin? | Kevin吗 |
| [20:28] | Raymond Raymond! | |
| [20:35] | Raymond, am I too late? | Raymond 我是不是来得太晚了 |
| [20:37] | Too late? | 什么太晚了 |
| [20:38] | My friend saw your dating profile | 我朋友看见了你的线上约会页面 |
| [20:39] | and your photo without collar stays. | 还有你那张没有领撑的照片 |
| [20:42] | I thought I’d lost you. | 我以为我失去你了 |
| [20:44] | You will never lose me. | 你永远不会失去我 |
| [20:47] | I’ll do anything to keep you. | 我会费尽一切留住你 |
| [20:48] | I’ll compromise on everything. The work, the– | 我愿意牺牲所有 工作也好 一切 |
| [21:02] | Nancy Meyers never fails. | 南茜·迈耶斯百试百灵 |
| [21:05] | Now that we’re doing it, | 现在我们搞成功了 |
| [21:06] | it feels kinda weird to be staring at your friends while they kiss. | 盯着正在亲吻的好友好像有那么一点尴尬诶 |
| [21:09] | Are you kidding? It’s beautiful. | 你在开什么玩笑 这太美了 |
| [21:14] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [21:18] | Okay, I’m packed. Let’s go home. | 好了 我收拾好了 我们回家吧 |
| [21:22] | Charles, I’m sorry. | Charles 我很抱歉 |
| [21:23] | I feel like this was all my fault. | 我觉得好像一切都是我的错 |
| [21:24] | Why? Did you inseminate my mother? | 为什么 你让我母亲受精了吗 |
| [21:26] | What? Ew, no. | 啥 噁 没有 |
| [21:27] | Don’t say ew. She’s my one blood relation. | 不要说噁 她是我唯一的血亲了 |
| [21:29] | Remember, I’m not a real Boyle. | 要记得 我不是一位真正的Boyle |
| [21:32] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 行吧 |
| [21:33] | Maybe you’re not a real Boyle. | 也许你不是一位真正的Boyle |
| [21:35] | But what if | 但万一 |
| [21:36] | you’re a true Boyle? | 你是一名真Boyle呢 |
| [21:37] | What if | 万一 |
| [21:38] | you’re The One True Boyle? | 你是那个唯一的天选Boyle呢 |
| [21:39] | No, no. You want me to open the Grandmother Dough. | 不 不 你想让我打开那罐老祖母酵种 |
| [21:42] | That jar is stuck shut. | 那瓶子都卡死了 |
| [21:43] | Nobody’s ever been able to do it. | 就没人打开过 |
| [21:44] | But you have to try. | 但你总得试一试啊 |
| [21:46] | Terry, go grab it. | Terry 去拿过来 |
| [21:48] | All right, now let’s reassemble those cousins. | 好了 让我们把表亲们再集合起来 |
| [21:53] | I’m not gonna be able to do this, | 我肯定做不到的 |
| [21:54] | and I’m gonna be even more humiliated. | 我只会更加倍加羞辱 |
| [21:56] | Just try. I believe in you. | 就试一试 我相信你 |
| [22:00] | So did you loosen it? | 你有把瓶盖弄松吗 |
| [22:02] | I tried, but it’s slippery, | 我试过了 但那盖子太滑了 |
| [22:03] | and that thing is sealed on tight. | 而且那鬼玩意封得死死的 |
| [22:04] | I couldn’t budge it. | 我根本动不了它 |
| [22:06] | Oh, no. Uh, hey, Charles. | 噢 不 呃 嘿 Charles |
| [22:08] | Remember when I said that I believed in you? | 还记得我刚说我相信你吗 |
| [22:10] | Yes. | 当然 |
| [22:11] | It’s the entire reason I’m doing this. | 那就是为什么我会做这事啊 |
| [22:12] | Oh. Godspeed. | 喔 祝你顺利 |
| [22:28] | Ah! | 啊 |
| [22:30] | I did it! | 我做到了 |
| [22:30] | He’s The One True Boyle. | 他就是唯一的天选Boyle |
| [22:35] | Oh, my God. What is that stench? | 我的天啊 那是什么臭味 |
| [22:37] | It’s the Grandmother Dough. | 就是老祖母酵种的味 |
| [22:38] | It smells horrible. | 闻起来也太可怕了 |
| [22:39] | Not to a Boyle. | 对于我们Boyle家的人来说可不臭 |
| [22:42] | Pappy’s hugs were long and firm. | 老爹的拥抱永远又久又实在 |
| [22:45] | Okay, here’s what I think might’ve happened. | 好的 我觉得事情是这样的 |
| [22:47] | You loosened the jar, but you didn’t realize it | 你弄松了那个罐子 你只是没有察觉到 |
| [22:49] | because you’re a Godzilla man, | 因为你是哥斯拉猛男 |
| [22:50] | and you don’t know your own strength. | 你不清楚自己的力量到底有多大 |
| [22:51] | First of all, thank you for calling me a Godzilla man. | 首先 谢谢你称呼我为哥斯拉猛男 |
| [22:53] | – Yeah. – Secondly, that’s not it. | – 是吧 – 其次 你说的不对 |
| [22:55] | – The jar was too slippery. – All right, how about this? | – 那罐子滑不留手的 – 好吧 那这样 |
| [22:56] | Charles was so freaked out about not being a Boyle | Charles 因为自己不是Boyle非常慌张 |
| [22:58] | that he got an adrenaline rush, and that made him stronger. | 所以他突如其来一股肾上腺素 让他变强了 |
| [23:01] | Or maybe Charles is the One True Boyle. | 又或者 Charles就是唯一的天选Boyle |
| [23:02] | And I know that Pappy’s up there | 我知道老爹现在 |
| [23:05] | shopping for beige slacks | 一定是在逛着米色长裤区 |
| [23:07] | at that Mervyn’s in the sky. | 享受在天堂里的默文百货 |
| [23:10] | Ah, Mervyn’s! | 啊 默文百货 |
| [23:13] | Yeah, he’s the One True Boyle. | 确实 他就是唯一的天选Boyle |