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神烦警探(Brooklyn Nine-Nine)第7季第11集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 神烦警探(Brooklyn Nine-Nine)第7季第11集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
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[00:02] I don’t miss Porzingis. 我一点也不想念波尔津吉斯
[00:03] I’m glad the Knicks got rid of him. 我很庆幸纽约尼克斯队把他踢走了
[00:05] That’s crazy. 真疯狂
[00:06] You never trade a seven‐footer with three‐point range. 永远不要交易一个会投三分球的中锋
[00:10] Why is the precinct full of bunnies? 为什么整个分局都是兔子
[00:14] Go, go, go, go, go, go! 上 上 上 上 上 上
[00:16] Oh! 噢
[00:18] – This is still going on? – What is? – 这竟然还在继续 – 什么东西
[00:22] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Halloween heist! 女士们先生们 欢迎来到万圣节掠夺大战
[00:49] Happy Halloween. 万圣节快乐
[00:51] I see you all have your game faces on. 我看到你们的脸已经转换到竞赛模式了
[00:52] Special shout‐out to Amy 特别注意一下Amy
[00:53] who is clearly only wearing that pumpkin costume 很明显她穿着南瓜装
[00:55] to conceal her heist equipment. 来隐藏她抢夺战的装备
[00:57] Nuh‐uh. 才不是
[00:58] I was greeting kids at the Halloween party. 我是在万圣节派对上跟孩子们打招呼
[00:59] Nobody believes you. 没人信你
[01:00] Anyhow, will there be a new champion crowned this year, 不管怎样 今年会有一个新的冠军得到加冕吗
[01:02] or will I become the first ever three‐time winner, 还是说我会成为有史以来第一个三冠王
[01:05] building on my glorious victories in heists one and five? 累积在我第一届和第五届抢夺战的胜利基础上
[01:08] You didn’t win the fifth heist. 你没有赢第五届的抢夺战
[01:09] I did when you proposed to me. 当你向我求婚时是我赢了
[01:10] I won that year. 那年是我赢了
[01:11] You ended up with a modified version of the cummerbund, 你最后拿的是一个被改造过的腰带
[01:14] and you only got that because you slept your way into it. 而且你能拿到也只是因为跟他有一睡之缘
[01:16] Sorry, sir, that no one here wants to bone you, 真是抱歉 长官 这里完全没人想睡你
[01:18] you dusty, old skeleton. 你这个积满灰的老骷髅
[01:20] Whoa! 哇
[01:21] Okay, so this segs me nicely into my next point‐‐decorum. 好的 这就很好地引出了我下面要说的点 礼节
[01:25] This is supposed to be a fun day 这理应是有趣的一天
[01:26] that brings us all closer together, 可以让我们大家更加亲密
[01:27] but in the past few years, 但是在过去的几年里
[01:29] I’ve noticed it trending in the opposite direction. 我注意到它有起反作用的趋势
[01:31] Is this about the surveillance system I set up in your apartment? 是关于我在你公寓安装的监视器吗
[01:33] Sleep, sleep, you ugly morons. 快睡 快睡 你们这些丑八怪蠢货
[01:35] No, but it is now. 不是 但现在是了
[01:37] All right, look, the point is, this year when we team up, 好的 听着 重点是 今年我们组队的时候
[01:39] there will be no betrayals because at the end of the day, 不会有任何的背叛 因为到头来
[01:41] we’re all friends, and we love each other, 我们都是朋友 而且我们相亲相爱
[01:43] and also you’ll be handcuffed to your partner. 还有就是你会和你的搭档拷在一起
[01:46] If you undo them, you lose. 如果你解除手铐的话 你就输了
[01:48] Now, in each of these envelopes is a name. 现在 每个信封里都有一个名字
[01:50] The last four champs will pick their partners, 前四任冠军来挑选他们的搭档
[01:52] and, since I’m already up here, I’ll just go first so‐‐ 既然我已经在上面了 那我就先来
[01:55] Nope. 不
[01:56] You’ve obviously rigged this to get the best teammate, 很明显你操控了这个过程来让自己选到最佳队友
[01:57] but I’m not falling for that crap this time. 但我这次可不会被你乱讲一通给骗了
[01:59] So I am going to partner with 所以我的搭档将会是
[02:02] Scully Scully.
[02:03] You know what? We are friends, best friends. 你知道吗 我们是朋友 是死党
[02:05] Sorry I took your envelope. 抱歉我拿了你的信封
[02:06] No, no, no! It’s too late. 不 不 不 太迟了
[02:07] – Boyle, cuff ’em. – It’s okay, Rosa. – Boyle 把他们拷上 – 没关系 Rosa
[02:09] I’m focused this year, 我今年很专心的
[02:10] and I’m more determined to win than ever. 而且我比以往更有决心要赢
[02:12] I also really have to go to the bathroom. 以及 我现在还真得去一趟厕所
[02:14] Why didn’t you say that before he put the handcuffs on us? 你为什么不在他把我们拷上之前说呢
[02:16] Okay, I’ll go next. 好的 我下一个
[02:18] I have… 我的是
[02:21] – Geppetto? – Yeah. – 杰佩托 – 是的
[02:22] Ugh, that must be Charles. 呃 那一定是Charles了
[02:24] It is because I’m the puppeteer, 那是因为我是操控木偶的人
[02:25] and you’re all my little puppets. 而你们都是我的小木偶
[02:27] Ugh. 呃
[02:28] Can we choke our partner to death with our handcuffs? 我们可以用我们的手铐把搭档勒死吗
[02:29] Sure, choke away. Terry? 当然 勒吧 Terry你呢
[02:31] I’m out. 我不玩
[02:31] Terry is retiring from heisting. Terry从抢夺战退出了
[02:33] I don’t have anything left to prove after my win last year. 在去年我赢了之后 我没有任何需要证明的了
[02:36] But we need you. 但是我们需要你
[02:37] What if one of us has a plan that involves a big, strong brute? 万一我们之中有人的计划需要一个巨大而强壮的野蛮人呢
[02:39] Not a great sales pitch, Jake. 这并不是很好的销售话术 Jake
[02:41] – Terry is going out on top. – Ugh, fine. – Terry成功撤了 – 呃 行吧
[02:44] I guess that makes it my turn, so I will pick my partner. 我想那就轮到我了 我来选我的搭档了
[02:47] And it is… 这人就是
[02:49] Raymond Holt Raymond Holt.
[02:51] Well, well, well, 好的 好的 好的
[02:53] it appears the original two heist champs are teaming up. 看起来最早的两个抢夺战冠军组队了
[02:55] Should we just skip ahead 我们是不是该直接跳过流程
[02:56] so everyone can bow down to us now? 这样大家现在就可以直接向我们鞠躬了
[02:58] Yes, you all heard him. Bow down. 是的 你们都听到了 鞠躬致礼
[02:59] Boyle, you first. Boyle 你先来
[03:00] He is not gonna bow do‐‐ugh, he’s already doing it. 他才不会鞠躬 呃 他已经这么做了
[03:03] Well, they’re gonna win. I’m currying favor. 他们会赢的 我在拍马屁呢
[03:04] So what prize are we playing for, you ask? 你问我们比赛的大奖是什么
[03:07] Wait, what about me? Nobody picked my envelope. 等下 我呢 没人选我的信封
[03:11] So what prize are we playing for, you ask? 你问我们比赛的大奖是什么
[03:15] Ooh, the infinity gauntlet from “The Avengers.” 噢 <复仇者联盟>里的无仙宝石手套
[03:18] Yes, except not quite. 是的 但又不全是
[03:19] The actual movie replica was extremely expensive, 实际的电影复制品超级贵
[03:22] so I had to get something off Russian eBay. 所以我得从俄罗斯的eBay上搞
[03:23] Say hello to the Infinitude Gobbler. 来跟这个”无仙宝石手到”打个招呼
[03:27] It’s identical to the one that Thaboo wore in the movie “Avangaboys.” <复活者男孩>里灭怕戴的手套的精美复刻
[03:30] – This glove… – Gobbler. – 这个手套 – 手到
[03:32] Contains three plastic jewels… 上面有三颗塑料宝石
[03:35] The Infinitude Gems. 无仙宝石
[03:35] Each representing one aspect of a heist winner. 每个宝石对应一个抢夺战赢家要素
[03:38] “Amazing,” “Human,” “Genius.” “超凡绝伦” “人类” “天才”
[03:41] Whoever possesses these stones at midnight 在午夜拿到这些石头的人
[03:42] will be named champion. 就会成为冠军
[03:44] But what obstacles will I face, 但我会面临什么障碍呢
[03:46] you may ask yourself. 你们也许会问自己
[03:47] Well, the Infinitude Gems will be guarded 这些无仙宝石呢
[03:49] by a ferocious and daunting sentry. 会被一位凶残又极具有震慑力的守卫看管
[03:53] Hey, best friends. 嘿 最好的朋友们
[03:54] We’re not your best friends, Bill. 我们不是你最好的朋友 Bill
[03:55] You don’t get to decide that. 那不是你能决定的
[03:57] So Bill will hide the gems in his pockets. Bill会把宝石藏在他的口袋里
[03:59] You’re really gonna have to root around in there. 你们必须得在我口袋里仔细翻
[04:01] I dried my jeans, so they’re extra tight. 我烘干了我的牛仔裤 现在这裤子可紧了
[04:03] You were right, Amy. I should have got a safe. 你之前说得对 Amy 我应该整个保险箱的
[04:05] Sorry, everyone. Let the heist begin! 抱歉啦大家 抢夺战开始
[04:09] I can’t believe the two strongest competitors 我不敢相信两个最有力的竞争对手
[04:11] got partnered up. 居然组成一队了
[04:12] We’re a dream team like in the 1992 Summer Olympics. 我们就像1992年夏季奥运会的梦之队一样
[04:12] 1992年夏季奥运会美国男子篮球队 绰号为梦之队 囊括了当时NBA几乎所有顶尖篮球员 而被人们看作是历史上最强大的篮球队
[04:17] Okay, I know you’re not talking about basketball, 好 我知道你肯定不是在说篮球
[04:19] so just tell me what weird sport you think the Dream Team was from. 就直接告诉我 你以为梦之队这个名字来自哪个怪运动吧
[04:21] Sport? 运动
[04:22] I’m talking about the opening ceremonies. 我在说开幕式呢
[04:23] Agnes Baltsa and Alfredo Kraus 安娜斯·巴尔莎和阿弗雷多·克劳斯
[04:25] singing back‐to‐back arias. 背对背唱咏叹调
[04:28] Wonderful, yes, we are just like Agnes and Alfredo 很好 对 我们就像安娜斯和阿弗雷多一样
[04:30] all thanks to me. 多亏了我
[04:32] – What? – Oh, yeah. – 什么 – 哦 对
[04:33] I rigged the envelopes so that we could team up. 我做了手脚 所以我们才能组成一队
[04:34] But you chose Scully initially. 但是你本来选的是Scully啊
[04:36] Only because I knew as soon as I tried to go first, 就是因为我知道只要我第一个开信封
[04:38] Rosa would jump in, and then I made sure Rosa肯定会抢过去 然后我为了确保没人会选我们俩
[04:40] no one picked our envelopes by marking them 我在咱俩的信封上留下了
[04:42] with Cheeto thumbprints. 奇多粟米棒渣渣指印
[04:43] Oh, so everyone would assume 哦 所以每个人都会假设
[04:45] that they were Hitchcock and Scully’s. 那两个信封是Hitchcock和Scully的
[04:46] Brilliant. 太妙了
[04:48] These fools don’t stand a chance against us. 这些傻瓜们根本不是我们的对手
[04:49] Yeah, they really are fools, aren’t they? 对啊 他们真是傻瓜 是吧
[04:52] Just like whoever Agnes and Alfredo 就像那些想上奥运开幕式
[04:53] beat at singing to get into the Olympics. 但在歌唱方面被安娜斯和阿弗雷多打败的人们
[04:55] – I know nothing about opera. – No, you’re right. – 我一点也不懂歌剧 – 不 你说得对
[04:57] Amy’s a real Teresa Berganza, huh? Amy真是和特蕾莎·布干萨一模一样 是吧
[05:02] I don’t know. 我不知道
[05:03] Look at them laughing. 看看他们笑得多灿烂
[05:05] Jake must have said something really funny. Jake肯定又说了什么特别搞笑的事情
[05:06] Should we forfeit and go hear what it was? 咱们要不弃权去听听他们说了啥吧
[05:08] No, Charles, we’re not forfeiting. 别啊 Charles 我们才不弃权
[05:09] I wanted Jake to rig the envelopes 我想让Jake在信封上动手脚
[05:11] and partner up with Holt. 然后和Holt组队的
[05:13] I gave him the idea by making him watch “Lincoln.” 我让他看了<林肯> 从而把这个点子种在了他脑子里
[05:15] Oh, wow, a team of rivals. 哇 一组死对头耶
[05:18] Mm‐hmm. 嗯
[05:19] And when that didn’t work, 后来发现不管用
[05:20] we watched “X‐Men: Days of Future Past.” 我们又看了
[05:22] Magneto and Professor X working together? 万磁王和X教授一起工作吗
[05:25] Amy, are you seeing this? Amy 你看见了吗
[05:26] Yes, I see it. 我看见了
[05:28] I see it all. 全都看到了
[05:29] Why would you do that? 你为什么那样做
[05:30] Jake and Holt are like the ’92 dream team. Jake和Holt简直是92梦之队啊
[05:32] I know you’re not talking about sports, 我知道你不是在聊体育
[05:33] so who do you think the ’92 Dream Team was? 所以你觉得92梦之队是什么啊
[05:35] – Aladdin and Abu. – Right. – 阿拉丁和阿布啊 – 可不
[05:37] Look, Jake and Holt are too stubborn 听着 Jake和Holt都太顽固
[05:40] and too proud to work as a team. 太骄傲到没法团队合作
[05:42] Once they implode, we’ll waltz in and grab the gems. 他们一旦内斗 我们就大大方方地(跳着华尔兹)去抢宝石
[05:44] I do love waltzing. What about Rosa and Scully? 我的确喜欢华尔兹 那Rosa和Scully怎么办呢
[05:47] I’m not too worried about them. 我不是很担心他们俩
[05:48] Hey, Rosa, you brought headphones right? 嘿 Rosa 你带耳机来了对吧
[05:50] – To drown out the sound? – No. – 好盖过我发出的声音 – 没有
[05:52] Oh boy, I’m really sorry for what’s heading your way. 哦 天啊 我对马上要发生的事表示抱歉
[05:56] I’m sorry! 对不起啊
[05:58] – So here’s the plan. – Okay. – 计划是这样的 – 好
[06:02] We’re gonna need pliers, grappling hook‐‐ 我们需要钳子 钩锚
[06:05] Wait. Amy, look. 等等 Amy 看
[06:08] The bullpen’s filling up with smoke. 大厅都是烟
[06:09] – Oh, someone’s making a move. – That’s right. – 哦 某人开始行动了 – 没错
[06:11] And that someone is us. 某人就是我们
[06:13] Seems like a pretty sloppy plan. 看起来是个草率的计划啊
[06:14] You’re just saying it’s sloppy because 你说它草率
[06:15] you’re jealous you didn’t think of it. 因为你根本没想到这妙计
[06:16] You don’t even know what we’re doing yet. 你还不知道我们在干什么呢
[06:17] Fog up the room until no one can see 让烟雾迷漫到谁也看不清
[06:19] and then steal the gems. 然后去偷宝石
[06:20] Yeah, but I also got us little booties, 是 但我还给我们拿来了软绵绵鞋套
[06:22] so we can move through the room quietly. 所以我们能无声无息地穿过大厅
[06:24] And I memorized the exact layout of the entire bullpen 我还背下了整个大厅的布局
[06:26] using a blindfold 戴着眼罩记得哟
[06:27] so follow me. 所以放心跟着我走吧
[06:30] One, two, three, desk. 一 二 三 桌子
[06:32] One, two, turn. 一 二 转
[06:34] One, two, three, four, Bill. 一 二 三 四 Bill
[06:37] – Hi, boys. – Oh, God! – 嗨 小伙儿们 – 妈耶
[06:38] Why do you sound horny? Very upsetting. 为什么你听起来这么淫荡 真让人心烦
[06:40] Okay, reaching into your pockets, 好吧 伸进你的口袋
[06:41] feeling a lot of things, and I got the gems. 摸到了很多东西 拿到宝石了
[06:44] Let’s go. 走吧
[06:45] One, two, three‐‐oh! 一 二 三 哦
[06:47] Whoa. 哎哟
[06:49] Was that the gems? Did you drop them? 是宝石的声音吗 你把宝石掉了吗
[06:51] That chair wasn’t supposed to be there. 那里本来没有椅子的
[06:52] – Where’d they go? – I can’t see anything. – 宝石掉哪去了 – 我啥也看不见
[06:54] Turn off the smoke. 把烟雾关了
[06:55] It’s lucky I was prepared for you to fail. 幸好我想到你会失败 还留了一手
[06:57] Now, I didn’t wanna reveal him this early, but… 看好了 我本来不想让他这么早就现身的 不过
[07:16] Here he comes. 他来了
[07:17] Cheddar, Cheddar the Dog. Cheddar 好狗Cheddar
[07:19] Yeah, we all knew he was coming. 行了 我们都知道他会来的
[07:21] You don’t have to make such a meal out of it. 没必要整这么大阵仗
[07:22] Go, Cheddar. Arcessere. 去吧 Cheddar 拾来
[07:24] Means fetch. Cheddar’s been taking Latin. 意思是去拿 Cheddar最近在上拉丁语课
[07:25] Who has the gems? What’s going on? 谁拿到宝石了 发生什么了
[07:27] And explain it quickly. I have to pee again. 讲快点 我又要去尿尿了
[07:29] You’re too late. 你们来晚了
[07:31] For the last three months, 在过去的三个月里
[07:32] I have been training Cheddar to retrieve gems. 我一直在训练Cheddar怎么拿到宝石
[07:35] Using his low center of gravity and keen sense of smell, 我利用了他的低重心和敏锐的嗅觉
[07:38] he expertly‐‐ 他是专业的
[07:39] Oh, no. He swallowed them. 噢 不 他把宝石吞下去了
[07:42] He swallowed the gems! 他把宝石吞下去了
[07:44] Well, Fuck. 我勒个大草
[07:51] Mmm, got a pedicure, made a smoothie 做了个指甲护理 还打了杯奶昔
[07:53] ’cause Terry loves smoothies. 因为Terry超爱奶昔
[07:55] Retiring early was the best decision I have ever made. 早早退出是我做过最正确的决定
[07:58] Well, you’re missing out. 呵呵 你错过了好多
[07:59] People are saying 大家都在说
[08:00] this is the most fun heist we’ve ever done. 这是我们迄今为止最有意思的抢夺战
[08:01] Looks like Holt keeps trying to put his whole hand 看起来Holt一直在尝试把他的整只手
[08:04] in Cheddar’s mouth while Rosa googles, 塞到Cheddar的嘴里 而Rosa还在谷歌上搜索
[08:06] “How to make a dog vomit.” “怎么让狗呕吐”
[08:08] Yeah. 是啊
[08:09] Like I said, we’re having a blast. 我都说了 我们玩得超开心
[08:11] Why would he have swallowed the gems? 他为啥会把宝石吞下去啊
[08:13] Well, a photograph of Cheddar was featured on “Chonky Pups,” Cheddar有张照片被放在了”胖狗勾”上
[08:16] an Instagram account for overweight pets. 那是一个专门晒超重肥胖宠物照的ins账号
[08:18] A top comment called him a “Thick king.” 有一条热门评论管他叫”胖狗王”
[08:21] Kevin and I put him on a diet, and I suppose 我和Kevin在让他节食 我猜
[08:23] he got hungry enough to mistake the gems for food. 他饿坏了 所以就把宝石当吃的了
[08:26] This is why you don’t team up with a dog. 这就是为什么不要和一条狗组队
[08:27] It’s better than teaming up with Bill 总比和Bill组队好
[08:29] like you do every year. 你每年都和他组队
[08:29] Bill is a human. Bill是人类
[08:31] He is able to use more than just his mouth. 除了嘴 他还能有很多地方可以用
[08:33] – Not if you don’t want me to. – Bill, stop chiming in. – 只要你想 让我用哪都行 – Bill 别插嘴
[08:35] I’m just saying. 我只是想说
[08:36] I’m not that different from a dog. 我和狗也没啥特别不一样的
[08:37] You’re not helping. 说这种话没帮助哈
[08:38] We need to get Cheddar to a doctor right now. 我们得马上带Cheddar去看医生了
[08:40] Bravo. 干得漂亮
[08:44] What a performance. 演出真是精彩
[08:46] Cheddar didn’t swallow any gems. Cheddar根本没吞下什么宝石
[08:48] This is all a ruse 这一切都是策划好的
[08:49] just like my brilliant lie about the pumpkin costume. 就跟我在南瓜服的事上撒的精妙绝伦的谎一样
[08:51] That was good. 那个谎撒得不错
[08:52] There is no chance in hell that any of this is real. 这里的一切都绝壁不可能是真的
[08:56] Yep, you can see the gems right here on the X‐ray. 没错 你能从X光片上直接看到宝石
[08:58] Okay, so it’s real. 好吧 所以这一切都是真的
[08:59] Uh, I’m sorry. Who are all these people? 不好意思 请问这些人到底是谁
[09:01] We’re coworkers involved in an elaborate Halloween heist. 我们是同事 一起参加一场精心策划的万圣节抢夺战
[09:04] Do you seriously not talk to your vet about us? 说真的 你真的不和你的兽医提起我们吗
[09:05] Seems to me Cheddar has the gems, 在我看来 Cheddar拿到了宝石
[09:07] and he’s my property, so we win. 而他又属于我 所以我们赢了
[09:10] Yeah, works for me. 我同意 这说得通
[09:11] Time for the big wrap‐up speech. 是时候发表隆重的总结讲话了
[09:12] I’m sure you’re all wondering how we pulled this off. 我知道 你们都很好奇我们是怎么做到的
[09:14] No, we continue the heist right here, right now. 不行 我们继续抢夺战 就在此时此地
[09:17] I’m gonna open him up. 我准备把他剖了
[09:18] No, no, no, no, there’s no need to operate. 不不不 没有必要做手术
[09:20] The gems are small enough. 宝石足够小
[09:21] He should be able to excrete them without discomfort. 他应该可以顺利把他排泄出来
[09:23] The medical term for excrete is dump out. 排泄的医学术语是拉屎
[09:25] It is not. 才不是
[09:26] Okay, so we wait until Cheddar passes the gems, 行吧 所以我们等Cheddar把宝石拉出来
[09:29] and then we restart the heist the next time we all have a free day. 等到下次我们都有一天空着的时候再重新开始抢夺战
[09:31] Perfect. When will that be? 完美 所以是啥时候
[09:34] Ladies and gentlemen, 女士们先生们
[09:35] welcome to the Valentine’s Day Halloween heist. 欢迎来到情人节万圣节抢夺战
[09:38] – This is still happening? – Why so curious, Terry? – 你们还在搞抢夺战吗 – Terry 这么好奇干嘛
[09:41] Hoping we’ll let you participate now? 难道想让我们同意你现在加入吗
[09:42] – ‘Cause you can’t! – Oh, no. – 你没可能了 – 噢 不
[09:44] I don’t get to compete for a bunch of stones that were in a dog’s butt. 我不能比赛争夺一堆从狗屁股里拉出来的石头了
[09:47] What will I do? 我可怎么办啊
[09:48] I’ll have you know 我得跟你说明白
[09:48] that a dog’s butt is cleaner than a human’s mouth. 狗屁股可比人嘴巴干净
[09:50] That can’t be true. 不可能
[09:51] Well, a dog’s mouth is cleaner than a human’s mouth, 是这样 狗的嘴巴比人的嘴巴要干净
[09:53] and dog mouths lick dog butts 而且狗嘴巴还会去舔狗屁股
[09:55] so you tell me where my theory is wrong. 你倒跟我说说 我的逻辑哪里错了
[09:58] He has no comeback. 他根本无力反击
[09:59] All right, the heist will pick up where we left off. 好了 争夺赛就从我们上次暂停的地方重新开始
[10:01] There are six hours remaining and three teams left. 还剩下六个小时 三支队伍
[10:03] The now‐sterilized Infinitude Gems 现在 消毒过的无仙宝石
[10:06] will be placed back into the care of Bill. 重新归Bill保管
[10:08] Oh, wow, Bill, looks like you had a rough four months. 哇哦 Bill 看起来过去四个月你过得很糟糕啊
[10:10] It was actually a great three months 其实头三个月还挺好的
[10:12] and then one really bad one. 只不过接下来一个月糟透了
[10:15] Okay, but you’re here, and you’re happier than ever. 好吧 不过你已经在这儿了 而且你比以前任何时候都要开心
[10:17] I don’t know why you think that. 我不明白你怎么会这么想
[10:20] Let the heist re‐begin! 抢夺战又重新开始了
[10:23] Okay, your smoke plan was a disaster. 你的烟雾计划糟透了
[10:26] Yeah, because your dog ate the gems. 那是因为你的狗吃了无仙宝石
[10:28] Because you tripped and dropped them. 是因为你绊倒了自己 弄掉了宝石
[10:30] Yeah, because someone put a chair in my way 对啊 是因为有人把椅子放在了路中间
[10:32] that wasn’t supposed to be there. 那椅子不应该出现在那里
[10:33] I’m sorry. Are you accusing me of something? 不好意思 你是在指责我吗
[10:35] Was that not clear? 我表达得不够清楚吗
[10:35] Do you need me to say it in Latin? 需要我用拉丁语说吗
[10:37] I think you sabotage me. 我说你给我添乱了
[10:39] I would never. 我不会的
[10:40] I want to win, 我想要赢
[10:41] Which is why I’m initiating Operation Fabius. 所以我才发起了法比乌斯行动
[10:44] Okay. That does sound kind of cool. 可以 听起来确实有点酷
[10:47] Well, it shouldn’t. I may have to change the name. 嗯 不应该酷的 看来我得换个名字
[10:48] Roman dictator Fabius Maximus 罗马独裁者法比乌斯·马克西姆斯
[10:51] defeated Hannibal by avoiding battle and exercising patience. 通过避免战争和磨炼耐心战胜了汉尼拔
[10:55] I can be patient. 我可以做到耐心啊
[10:56] I just listened to you talk about that Fabius guy for, like, four hours. 我刚刚听你讲那个法比乌斯就听了快四个小时
[11:00] – It was two sentences. – Ugh, shut up. – 我就说了两句话 – 呃 闭嘴吧
[11:02] And the infighting continues. 内讧还在继续
[11:04] I guess Jake and I still have the only unbreakable bond in the whole precinct. 看来Jake与我的关系还是全警局内最牢不可破
[11:08] I mean, he is my husband. 呃 他是我丈夫
[11:10] Uh‐huh. No one ever gets divorced? 干嘛 难道没人离婚的吗
[11:12] – Charles. – I’m sorry. – Charles – 对不起
[11:13] I’m just all worked up because of the heist. 我就只是因为这抢夺战有些暴躁
[11:15] There’s heist in the geist. 抢夺战搞乱了我的精神
[11:17] No, look. There’s something happening. 不是啦 你看 有事发生
[11:18] I have flowers for Bill Hummertrout. Bill Hummertrout先生的花
[11:20] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is a scam. 喔噢 喔噢 这是个骗局
[11:22] There’s no one in Bill’s life that would send him flowers. Bill的生活中没有人会送他花
[11:24] It’s true. Something’s up. 的确 这有问题
[11:26] Flowers for Bill Hummertrout? Bill Hummertrout先生的花
[11:27] How many of these guys are there? 有多少送花的人进来了
[11:28] – Flowers for Bill… – What is happening? – 给Bill的花 – 怎么回事
[11:30] You tell us. 问你自己啊
[11:31] You’re the one who just mysteriously appeared at this critical moment. 你才是那个在关键时刻神秘出场的人
[11:34] I was stuck in the bathroom with Scully. 我之前一直和Scully在卫生间里
[11:36] – It was a nightmare. – For me too. – 糟透了 – 我也是啊
[11:37] Hitchcock and I haven’t had any time alone all day. Hitchcock和我一整天都没有独处的时间
[11:39] I don’t even know what he had for lunch. 我甚至不知道他午饭吃了什么
[11:40] – Italian sandwich. – But with what kind of chips? – 意大利三明治 – 但配菜是哪种薯片呢
[11:42] Okay, stop. We don’t have time for this. 好了 停 我们没时间了
[11:43] Everyone, form a blockade! Protect Bill! 各位 封锁现场 保护Bill
[11:46] Protect the gems! 保护宝石
[11:47] I can’t see anything. There’s too many of them. 我什么也看不见 他们人太多了
[11:49] – Wait, they’re clearing out. – Yeah, because they got them. – 等等 他们正在撤离 – 是啊 因为他们拿到宝石了
[11:52] – The gems are gone. – Of course they are. – 宝石不见了 – 当然了
[11:53] This is clearly the work of Charles Boyle, 这显然是Charles Boyle干的
[11:56] the son of a florist. 花店老板之子
[11:57] You think I’d make bouquets that look like this? 你觉得我会把花束做成这样吗
[11:59] With all this baby’s‐breath? What do you think of me? 这么多满天星 你觉得我会是这样的人吗
[12:01] Maybe it was Terry who sent the flowers! 也许是Terry送的花
[12:04] Yeah, I really wanted to spend $2,000 是啊 我真的很想在情人节
[12:06] on Valentine’s Day not for my wife. 为我妻子以外的人花2000美元
[12:08] – Ah, he admitted it! – No, Rosa took the gems. – 哈 他承认了 – 不 Rosa拿走了宝石
[12:10] I saw you brush up against one of the flower delivery men 我看见你和一个送花的人擦肩而过
[12:13] who handed you the gems, which you gave to Scully, 他把宝石递给了你 然后你给了Scully
[12:15] who placed them in his mouth. Scully把它们放进了嘴里
[12:16] – That’s absurd. – Yeah, that’s absurd. – 这太荒谬了 – 是啊 太荒谬了
[12:19] Okay, fine, but no one is getting those gems. 好吧 但是没人能得到宝石
[12:21] Yeah. 嗯
[12:22] None of you would dare to 你们谁也不敢
[12:23] put your bare hands inside of Scully’s mouth. 徒手伸进Scully嘴里
[12:24] Yeah. 对
[12:25] Who knows what kind of diseases he’s got. 谁知道他得了什么病
[12:26] My doctors sure don’t. 我的医生肯定不知道
[12:30] Scully, why wasn’t that garbled? Scully 你刚刚那句话为什么没有口齿不清
[12:31] Yep, he swallowed ’em. 是的 他吞下去了
[12:32] You can see the gems right here on the X‐ray. 你可以在X光片上看到宝石
[12:34] And you’re sure those are the gems 你确定那些是宝石
[12:35] and there’s not something horribly wrong with him? 不是他的身体出了什么可怕的问题吗
[12:37] Well, the part that’s horribly wrong with him is if you look here‐‐ 嗯 你看这里的话就可以看到他的身体健康问题是
[12:39] Oh, nobody cares. 哦 没人在乎这个
[12:40] What does this mean for the heist? 所以这对抢夺战意味着什么
[12:43] Ladies and gentlemen, 女士们先生们
[12:44] welcome to the Easter Valentine’s Day Halloween heist! 欢迎来到复活节情人节万圣节抢夺战
[12:53] We will once again pick up where we left off. 我们将再次重新开始
[12:54] The Infinitude Gems‐‐ 无仙宝石
[12:56] You guys are still doing this? You know it’s April now. 你们还在玩这个吗 现在已经是四月了
[12:59] Yeah, Terry, we’re still doing it, 是的 Terry 我们还在继续
[13:00] and we’re still having a great time. 且仍然玩得很开心
[13:01] Why are the gems so pale? 为什么宝石这么苍白
[13:02] I guess Scully’s insides zapped all the color out of them? 我猜是Scully的内脏给他们换了颜色吧
[13:04] I don’t know, babe. 我不知道啊 亲爱的
[13:05] You’re undercutting my whole thing with Terry here. 我刚刚和Terry的对话都被你盖过去了
[13:07] Anyways, the Infinitude Gems will go back to Bill 不管怎样 我们要把无仙宝石放回Bill身上
[13:10] whose life seems to have unraveled even further. Bill的生活似乎更糟了
[13:12] – Tough March for you there, bud? – Yeah, just a heads up. – 你的三月过得很艰难吗 兄弟 – 嗯是的 就提醒一下
[13:14] I sold my pants with the pockets, 我把我有口袋的裤子卖掉了
[13:16] so I’ll be putting the gems in my undies this time. 所以这次我要把宝石放在内衣里了
[13:18] – No. – I’ll give him a fanny pack. – 不行 – 我会给他一个腰包的
[13:20] Can I keep it? 那我可以拿走吗
[13:21] This could be just what I need to turn my life around. 这可能就是我改变生活所需要的
[13:23] Yeah, Bill, you can keep the fanny pack. 对 Bill 你可以留下腰包
[13:24] I don’t have to do anything for it, do I? 我不需要做任何事是吧
[13:26] Because I will if you ask. 如果你说要 我也会答应的
[13:28] I’ll do anything, even… 我什么事都可以做 哪怕是
[13:32] What’s that supposed to represent? 这动作是什么意思
[13:33] No one answer that. Anyhow, quick heist update. 没人会回答的 总之 快速汇报抢夺战更新情况
[13:36] There’s less than an hour left, and only two teams remain. 还有不到一小时 还剩下了两支队伍
[13:39] Two? 两支
[13:40] My doctor said I’m at a grave risk for a shenanigan‐related death, 我医生说我有很大风险会死于恶作剧
[13:43] so I have to drop out. 所以我必须退出
[13:44] That’s not fair. I should get a new partner. 这不公平 我应该有个新搭档
[13:45] – Terry, you want back in? – Nope. – Terry 你想重新参加吗 – 不
[13:47] I want my mango tango. Slurp, slurp. 我想要我的芒果冰沙 咕噜咕噜
[13:49] Sorry, Rosa, if you wanna switch partners this late in the game, 抱歉 Rosa 如果你这么晚才想换搭档
[13:52] they have to have the same skill set as Scully. 那他们得和Scully能力相当
[13:54] – I’m available. – Right, or… – 我有空 – 对 或者
[13:57] That filing cabinet kind of looks like Scully. 那个文件柜看起来有点像Scully
[13:59] I see it. Same flat top. 我懂了 一样的平头
[14:00] But if we really wanna make this a fair switch, 不过如果我们真的要公平地交换
[14:02] it seems like you need to start in the men’s room. 那似乎你要在男厕所里开始抢夺战
[14:05] – Come on. – Let the heist re‐re‐begin! – 别吧 – 抢夺战再再次开始
[14:12] Okay, in five minutes, 好 在五分钟内
[14:14] ten other bunnies will march past this door. 还有十只兔子会走过这扇门
[14:16] We’ll blend in and grab the gems. 我们会融入进去 拿到宝石
[14:18] It’s foolproof. 这计划万无一失
[14:19] How is this any different than my bunny suit plan? 这和我的兔子装计划有什么不一样
[14:21] Oh, it’s very different. 哦 非常不一样
[14:22] I gave the bunnies glasses and little, blue vests. 我给我的兔子们戴了眼镜 穿了小小蓝色背心
[14:25] The vests add nothing. 这些背心没什么用
[14:26] The vests add gravitas. 这些背心增加了庄严感
[14:28] Your butt adds gravitas. 你的屁股增加了庄严感
[14:32] Get ready. 准备好
[14:34] Bunnies are gonna be here at any moment. 兔子们随时都可能出现
[14:35] How do you know this is their plan? 你怎么知道这是他们的计划
[14:37] ‘Cause Jake frickin’ told me. 因为Jake他妈的告诉了我
[14:38] – He did? – Yeah. – 他告诉你了 – 对
[14:39] He’s so frustrated with Holt‐‐ like I knew he would be‐‐ 他对Holt很失望 就如我知道的那样
[14:42] that it’s all he talks about… 这都是他说的
[14:44] In therapy. 在心理治疗的时候
[14:45] What? 什么
[14:46] The thing is, the bunny vests do add gravitas, 关键是 兔子背心真的增加了庄严感
[14:49] but I can’t tell him that ’cause then he wins. 但我不能告诉他 不然他就赢了
[14:51] Oh, hey, is it weird that Jane Jetson gives me a bo‐‐ 哦 嘿 是不是很奇怪Jane Jetson让我有反
[14:53] You found a therapist that let you do that? 你居然找到了一个让你这样做的心理治疗师
[14:55] No, I’ve been paying an actress 不是 我雇了一名演员
[14:56] to pretend to treat him for months. 假装去治疗他治疗了几个月
[14:58] She’s actually helped him a lot. 她还真的帮了挺多的
[14:59] Oh, did Jake ever say anything about me 哦 Jake有没有提到关于我的事
[15:01] while you were listening? 当你在偷听的时候
[15:04] Where are those bunnies? 兔子们呢
[15:09] Boy, that thing’s pretty heavy, huh? 天 这玩意真的挺重的 对吧
[15:14] Here they come, my beautiful, blue‐vested bunnies. 他们来了 我漂亮的蓝色背心兔子们
[15:18] My God, they’re so cool. 天呐 它们太酷了
[15:19] What’s that? 什么
[15:20] Hm. Nothing. I hate them. 没什么 我讨厌它们
[15:21] – This probably won’t even work. – Let’s go. – 这可能根本没用 – 走吧
[15:24] It’s happening. Put on your head. 开始了 戴上你的头套
[15:26] Oh, with pleasure. 哦 很乐意
[15:27] I love disappearing into a role. 我喜欢沉浸在角色里
[15:29] I’m Argyle James Hopford, a bachelor bunny 我是Argyle James Hopford 一只单身兔
[15:31] who’s carrying out a scandalous affair with a local goose. 与当地的大鹅有一段见不得人的关系
[15:34] Shut up and put on your damn head! 闭嘴 他妈的戴上你的头套
[15:36] Hello, bunnies. 你们好 兔子们
[15:37] Okay, just be cool and blend in. 好 保持冷静 融入进去
[15:39] – Jake, who are those bunnies? – It must be Amy and Charles. – Jake 那两只兔子是谁 – 一定是Amy和Charles
[15:42] They see us. Let’s go. 他们看到我们了 走
[15:43] Give it up, Bill! Give it up! 放弃吧 Bill 放弃
[15:44] Come on, Holt, move your ass. 快点 Holt 跑起来
[15:45] No, I can’t unclasp the fanny pack with these furry hands. 不 我毛茸茸的手解不开这个腰包
[15:47] You’re hitting me, Jake. 你在打我 Jake
[15:48] I can’t see anything, and we’re all dressed the same. 我什么都看不见 而且我们都穿的一样
[15:50] – Uh‐oh, Rosa’s coming. – And Bill’s getting away. – 啊哦 Rosa来了 – Bill要走了
[15:52] Nope, I got his ankle. 不 我抓住了他的脚踝
[15:53] Get off me! Get off me! 放开我 放开我
[15:56] Someone got the fanny pack! 有人拿到腰包了
[15:57] They’re headed for the roof! 他们去屋顶了
[15:59] Go, go, go, go, go. 冲 冲 冲 冲 冲
[16:05] – This is still going on? – Was it Terry? – 还在继续吗 – 这是Terry吗
[16:07] Nope. Wasn’t me. 不 不是我
[16:09] Wait, if you’re Terry, then that must be… 等等 如果你是Terry 那跳下去的一定是
[16:17] What’s up, losers? 怎么样 失败者们
[16:28] – Rosa, that was amazing. – It was not amazing. – Rosa 这真惊人 – 这没什么惊人的
[16:30] She didn’t stay handcuffed to her partner. 她没有和她的同伴铐在一起
[16:32] She’s disqualified. 她不合格
[16:33] We’ll reset and start over on the next holiday. 我们会在下次节日的时候重新开始
[16:35] Earth day‐‐an Earth day heist. 地球日 地球日抢夺战
[16:37] It’s perfect. 完美
[16:38] Wrong. Rules said I couldn’t undo the cuffs, 错 规则规定我不能解开手铐
[16:40] and I didn’t. 我没有解开
[16:41] Oh, not fair. 哦 不公平
[16:42] I didn’t know I could cut off Peralta’s hand. 我不知道我可以砍掉Peralta的手
[16:44] I’ll file that away for next year. 我记下来了 明年再用这招
[16:45] Actually, I think we’re one and done on the whole handcuff concept. 事实上 我觉得手铐规则就只用今年这一次吧
[16:48] This is incredible. How’d you do it, Rosa? 难以置信 你怎么做到的
[16:49] Well, back on Halloween, 好吧 说回万圣节的时候
[16:51] I knew Jake would make the first move, 我知道Jake会先行动
[16:53] and I had to be ready. 我得做好准备
[16:54] You were hiding in the fog. 你当时躲在烟雾里
[16:55] It wasn’t Holt that put that chair in my pathway. 用椅子挡我路的不是Holt
[16:57] No, I did. 不 的确是我
[16:58] I wanted to be the one who was responsible for our victory. 我想把我们的胜利归到自己头上
[17:01] – What? – We already lost. – 什么 – 我们已经输了
[17:02] There’s no point in trying to maintain team morale now. 现在没必要保持融洽的队友情谊了
[17:04] Dick. 混球
[17:05] Anyway, I knew Cheddar would be making an appearance. 不管怎么说 我知道Cheddar一定会出场的
[17:07] Oh, everyone loves to see Cheddar. 噢 大家都可高兴见到Cheddar了
[17:09] He’s here a lot. I never bring in Arlo. 它老是在这儿 我从没把Arlo带来过
[17:11] – Who? – Exactly. – 谁 – 就是这个意思
[17:12] I spent every morning for the last year 在过去一年的每个早上
[17:13] giving Cheddar a taste for ham. 我都会喂Cheddar一点火腿
[17:15] Oh, so that’s why he got so thick 噢 难怪它变得这么肥
[17:17] and ended up on “Chonky Pups.” 还登上了”肥狗勾”
[17:18] I submitted his photo. 是我投稿了它的照片
[17:19] And once you put Cheddar on a diet, 后来你开始给Cheddar节食
[17:21] all I had to do was mark the gems 我就只需要把钻石沾上
[17:22] with a little of that sweet ham taste. 一点甜美的火腿味道
[17:23] Why did you want Cheddar to swallow the gems? 你为什么想让Cheddar吞钻石
[17:25] Because I needed to delay things. 因为我需要拖延
[17:27] The second part of my plan took place on Valentine’s Day, 我计划的第二部分在情人节那天实施
[17:29] which went perfectly. 圆满成功
[17:30] Ah, I wouldn’t say perfectly. 啊 倒也不是圆满
[17:31] Scully swallowed the gems. Scully把钻石吞了
[17:33] ‘Cause I tricked him into it. Wasn’t hard. 因为那是我设的套 不费吹灰之力
[17:34] Pretty much used the same Cheddar ham playbook. 我直接照搬了喂Cheddar吃火腿的套路
[17:36] Table ham. 桌上的火腿
[17:38] Seven days in a row. 已经是连续第七天了
[17:40] So now I have to think twice 所以现在我还得先考虑一下
[17:41] before I eat food I find lying around. 再吃从随手发现的食物了
[17:43] Thanks a lot. 我可谢谢你
[17:44] I marked the gems with ham again, 我再次把钻石沾上火腿味
[17:45] and everything pushed to Easter 然后这事就拖到了复活节
[17:47] when I could finally get rid of Scully as my partner. 这样我就能摆脱Scully这个搭档了
[17:49] Doctor, I’m willing to pay you 医生 我愿意付你钱
[17:51] to tell Norm Scully not to participate‐‐ 只要你告诉Norm Scully不要参与
[17:53] Participate? No, no, no. 什么参与 不不不
[17:54] Norm Scully should not be participating in any activities. Norm Scully不应该参与任何活动
[17:56] He could die. 他会因此丧命的
[17:57] I’ll go call him right now. 我现在就给他打电话
[17:58] Now I finally had a teammate whose hand I could cut off. 现在我终于有了能被我砍掉手的队友
[18:01] Just needed a little help from Terry. 我只需要Terry帮一点小忙
[18:02] Boy, that thing’s pretty heavy, huh? 倒 那玩意肯定很重吧
[18:04] Did you bring the tools? 你带工具了吗
[18:06] But you were retired. You were loving your smoothies. 但你宣布退出了 而且沉迷奶昔
[18:09] Yeah, but after a while, I felt left out. 对 但过了一段时间后 我感觉被忽视了
[18:11] And if I’m being honest, 说实话
[18:12] the smoothies weren’t even that good. 奶昔根本没那么美味
[18:13] I wonder why that was. 真想知道为什么
[18:14] Maybe it’s because I hammed your smoothie. 可能是因为我给你的奶昔加了火腿
[18:16] Am I the only one who didn’t get fed ham this year? 难道我是今年唯一没被投喂火腿的人吗
[18:19] Wait, how did you know about Jake’s bunny plan? 等等 你是怎么知道Jake的兔子计划的
[18:22] You weren’t the only one listening in on his therapy. 你不是唯一一个偷听他治疗的人
[18:23] Of course the bunnies should have glasses. 兔子当然要戴眼镜
[18:25] I just can’t believe I didn’t come up with it myself. 我就是不敢相信这不是我自己想出来的
[18:27] Oh, you know what? 噢 你知道吗
[18:28] Betty Rubble also gives me a bo‐‐ Betty Rubble也让我有反
[18:29] You guys were listening in on my therapy? 你们竟然偷听我的治疗
[18:31] That feels like a real violation‐‐ 这听起来可真是侵犯了
[18:33] Jake, Jake, this is Rosa’s moment. Jake Jake 这是Rosa的高光时刻
[18:35] Yeah, man, go tell it to your fake therapist. 是啊 兄弟 去跟你的假治疗师说去
[18:37] She’s fake? 她是假的
[18:38] Anyway, then I grabbed the gems, 话说回来 我抢了钻石之后
[18:39] jumped off the roof, and wrote my name in flames. 从屋顶跳下去 用火写出了我的名字
[18:41] Wait, why did you keep delaying the heist? 等等 你为什么一直在把抢夺战往后拖
[18:43] Couldn’t you have just won at Halloween? 你就不能在万圣节赢了完事吗
[18:45] Oh, I did. 噢 我是赢了
[18:46] These are the real Halloween gems. 这些才是货真价实的万圣节钻石
[18:48] I switched them out before Cheddar found them. 我在Cheddar发现之前掉包了
[18:50] I also won on Valentine’s Day. 情人节我也赢了
[18:52] What is happening? 什么情况
[18:53] I switched those gems out before I gave them to Scully. 在给Scully之前 我把钻石掉包了
[18:55] And then I won today. 然后 今天我也赢了
[18:58] So while you nerds are always arguing 所以当你们这些呆子还在争论
[18:59] about who the only two‐time champion is… 谁才是两连冠时
[19:01] Me. 是我
[19:02] I just became the first three‐time champion. 我成为了第一个三连冠
[19:04] I guess there’s just one thing left to do. 我想现在只剩一件事要做了
[19:06] To Rosa Diaz, an amazing human/genius. 敬Rosa Diaz 一个超凡绝伦人类兼天才
[19:10] To Rosa Diaz. 敬Rosa Diaz
[19:12] Well, you did it, but always remember one thing. 你成功了 但要永远记住一件事
[19:15] Those gems were in Scully’s butt. 那些钻石进过Scully的屁股
[19:17] – How dare you. – I know. – 你好大的胆子 – 我知道
[19:18] I’m happy for you, I guess. I don’t know. 我为你感到高兴 大概吧 我也说不上来
[19:19] Hold on. I have some math questions. 等等 我有一些数学问题
[19:21] If Rosa has three wins, does Scully have two? 如果Rosa赢了三次 那Scully赢了两次吗
[19:23] – Am I now tied with Scully? – No, no, no. – 所以我现在和Scully平分 – 不不不
[19:25] I’m tied with Scully. 我和Scully平分
[19:26] You’re tied with the filing cabinet. 你和档案柜平分
[19:27] The filing cabinet has more wins than me? 档案柜赢的次数比我还多
[19:29] – Yes, obviously. – Yeah, that’s how that works. – 显然如此 – 对 就是这么一回事
[19:30] – As it should. – Guys, stop it. – 合情合理 – 各位 别吵了
[19:32] We’re supposed to be celebrating Rosa here, 我们该做的是为Rosa庆祝
[19:33] – not fighting. – No, no, keep fighting. – 而不是拌嘴 – 不不 吵起来
[19:35] It’s why I did this. 这就是我的目的
[19:37] You know, technically, we all shared in Jake’s first win, 其实吧 理论上来说 我们都帮Jake赢了第一次
[19:39] so this might be my fourth. 所以这该是我第四次赢
[19:40] What? No. 什么 才不是
[19:41] Yeah, that’s a good point. 对啊 说的有道理
[19:42] Oh, we also helped Holt win too. 噢 我们还帮Holt赢过呢
[19:44] Oh, shut up, Santiago. Just shut up. 哦 闭嘴吧Santiago 赶紧闭嘴
[19:47] – Excuse me? – Wow, shut up? – 你说什么 – 哇 闭嘴吗
[19:48] – How dare you, sir. – I won two times. – 你怎么敢这么说 – 我赢了两次
[19:50] That is my wife. 这可是我老婆
神烦警探

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