时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:02] | I don’t miss Porzingis. | 我一点也不想念波尔津吉斯 |
[00:03] | I’m glad the Knicks got rid of him. | 我很庆幸纽约尼克斯队把他踢走了 |
[00:05] | That’s crazy. | 真疯狂 |
[00:06] | You never trade a seven‐footer with three‐point range. | 永远不要交易一个会投三分球的中锋 |
[00:10] | Why is the precinct full of bunnies? | 为什么整个分局都是兔子 |
[00:14] | Go, go, go, go, go, go! | 上 上 上 上 上 上 |
[00:16] | Oh! | 噢 |
[00:18] | – This is still going on? – What is? | – 这竟然还在继续 – 什么东西 |
[00:22] | Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Halloween heist! | 女士们先生们 欢迎来到万圣节掠夺大战 |
[00:49] | Happy Halloween. | 万圣节快乐 |
[00:51] | I see you all have your game faces on. | 我看到你们的脸已经转换到竞赛模式了 |
[00:52] | Special shout‐out to Amy | 特别注意一下Amy |
[00:53] | who is clearly only wearing that pumpkin costume | 很明显她穿着南瓜装 |
[00:55] | to conceal her heist equipment. | 来隐藏她抢夺战的装备 |
[00:57] | Nuh‐uh. | 才不是 |
[00:58] | I was greeting kids at the Halloween party. | 我是在万圣节派对上跟孩子们打招呼 |
[00:59] | Nobody believes you. | 没人信你 |
[01:00] | Anyhow, will there be a new champion crowned this year, | 不管怎样 今年会有一个新的冠军得到加冕吗 |
[01:02] | or will I become the first ever three‐time winner, | 还是说我会成为有史以来第一个三冠王 |
[01:05] | building on my glorious victories in heists one and five? | 累积在我第一届和第五届抢夺战的胜利基础上 |
[01:08] | You didn’t win the fifth heist. | 你没有赢第五届的抢夺战 |
[01:09] | I did when you proposed to me. | 当你向我求婚时是我赢了 |
[01:10] | I won that year. | 那年是我赢了 |
[01:11] | You ended up with a modified version of the cummerbund, | 你最后拿的是一个被改造过的腰带 |
[01:14] | and you only got that because you slept your way into it. | 而且你能拿到也只是因为跟他有一睡之缘 |
[01:16] | Sorry, sir, that no one here wants to bone you, | 真是抱歉 长官 这里完全没人想睡你 |
[01:18] | you dusty, old skeleton. | 你这个积满灰的老骷髅 |
[01:20] | Whoa! | 哇 |
[01:21] | Okay, so this segs me nicely into my next point‐‐decorum. | 好的 这就很好地引出了我下面要说的点 礼节 |
[01:25] | This is supposed to be a fun day | 这理应是有趣的一天 |
[01:26] | that brings us all closer together, | 可以让我们大家更加亲密 |
[01:27] | but in the past few years, | 但是在过去的几年里 |
[01:29] | I’ve noticed it trending in the opposite direction. | 我注意到它有起反作用的趋势 |
[01:31] | Is this about the surveillance system I set up in your apartment? | 是关于我在你公寓安装的监视器吗 |
[01:33] | Sleep, sleep, you ugly morons. | 快睡 快睡 你们这些丑八怪蠢货 |
[01:35] | No, but it is now. | 不是 但现在是了 |
[01:37] | All right, look, the point is, this year when we team up, | 好的 听着 重点是 今年我们组队的时候 |
[01:39] | there will be no betrayals because at the end of the day, | 不会有任何的背叛 因为到头来 |
[01:41] | we’re all friends, and we love each other, | 我们都是朋友 而且我们相亲相爱 |
[01:43] | and also you’ll be handcuffed to your partner. | 还有就是你会和你的搭档拷在一起 |
[01:46] | If you undo them, you lose. | 如果你解除手铐的话 你就输了 |
[01:48] | Now, in each of these envelopes is a name. | 现在 每个信封里都有一个名字 |
[01:50] | The last four champs will pick their partners, | 前四任冠军来挑选他们的搭档 |
[01:52] | and, since I’m already up here, I’ll just go first so‐‐ | 既然我已经在上面了 那我就先来 |
[01:55] | Nope. | 不 |
[01:56] | You’ve obviously rigged this to get the best teammate, | 很明显你操控了这个过程来让自己选到最佳队友 |
[01:57] | but I’m not falling for that crap this time. | 但我这次可不会被你乱讲一通给骗了 |
[01:59] | So I am going to partner with | 所以我的搭档将会是 |
[02:02] | Scully Scully. | |
[02:03] | You know what? We are friends, best friends. | 你知道吗 我们是朋友 是死党 |
[02:05] | Sorry I took your envelope. | 抱歉我拿了你的信封 |
[02:06] | No, no, no! It’s too late. | 不 不 不 太迟了 |
[02:07] | – Boyle, cuff ’em. – It’s okay, Rosa. | – Boyle 把他们拷上 – 没关系 Rosa |
[02:09] | I’m focused this year, | 我今年很专心的 |
[02:10] | and I’m more determined to win than ever. | 而且我比以往更有决心要赢 |
[02:12] | I also really have to go to the bathroom. | 以及 我现在还真得去一趟厕所 |
[02:14] | Why didn’t you say that before he put the handcuffs on us? | 你为什么不在他把我们拷上之前说呢 |
[02:16] | Okay, I’ll go next. | 好的 我下一个 |
[02:18] | I have… | 我的是 |
[02:21] | – Geppetto? – Yeah. | – 杰佩托 – 是的 |
[02:22] | Ugh, that must be Charles. | 呃 那一定是Charles了 |
[02:24] | It is because I’m the puppeteer, | 那是因为我是操控木偶的人 |
[02:25] | and you’re all my little puppets. | 而你们都是我的小木偶 |
[02:27] | Ugh. | 呃 |
[02:28] | Can we choke our partner to death with our handcuffs? | 我们可以用我们的手铐把搭档勒死吗 |
[02:29] | Sure, choke away. Terry? | 当然 勒吧 Terry你呢 |
[02:31] | I’m out. | 我不玩 |
[02:31] | Terry is retiring from heisting. | Terry从抢夺战退出了 |
[02:33] | I don’t have anything left to prove after my win last year. | 在去年我赢了之后 我没有任何需要证明的了 |
[02:36] | But we need you. | 但是我们需要你 |
[02:37] | What if one of us has a plan that involves a big, strong brute? | 万一我们之中有人的计划需要一个巨大而强壮的野蛮人呢 |
[02:39] | Not a great sales pitch, Jake. | 这并不是很好的销售话术 Jake |
[02:41] | – Terry is going out on top. – Ugh, fine. | – Terry成功撤了 – 呃 行吧 |
[02:44] | I guess that makes it my turn, so I will pick my partner. | 我想那就轮到我了 我来选我的搭档了 |
[02:47] | And it is… | 这人就是 |
[02:49] | Raymond Holt Raymond Holt. | |
[02:51] | Well, well, well, | 好的 好的 好的 |
[02:53] | it appears the original two heist champs are teaming up. | 看起来最早的两个抢夺战冠军组队了 |
[02:55] | Should we just skip ahead | 我们是不是该直接跳过流程 |
[02:56] | so everyone can bow down to us now? | 这样大家现在就可以直接向我们鞠躬了 |
[02:58] | Yes, you all heard him. Bow down. | 是的 你们都听到了 鞠躬致礼 |
[02:59] | Boyle, you first. | Boyle 你先来 |
[03:00] | He is not gonna bow do‐‐ugh, he’s already doing it. | 他才不会鞠躬 呃 他已经这么做了 |
[03:03] | Well, they’re gonna win. I’m currying favor. | 他们会赢的 我在拍马屁呢 |
[03:04] | So what prize are we playing for, you ask? | 你问我们比赛的大奖是什么 |
[03:07] | Wait, what about me? Nobody picked my envelope. | 等下 我呢 没人选我的信封 |
[03:11] | So what prize are we playing for, you ask? | 你问我们比赛的大奖是什么 |
[03:15] | Ooh, the infinity gauntlet from “The Avengers.” | 噢 <复仇者联盟>里的无仙宝石手套 |
[03:18] | Yes, except not quite. | 是的 但又不全是 |
[03:19] | The actual movie replica was extremely expensive, | 实际的电影复制品超级贵 |
[03:22] | so I had to get something off Russian eBay. | 所以我得从俄罗斯的eBay上搞 |
[03:23] | Say hello to the Infinitude Gobbler. | 来跟这个”无仙宝石手到”打个招呼 |
[03:27] | It’s identical to the one that Thaboo wore in the movie “Avangaboys.” | <复活者男孩>里灭怕戴的手套的精美复刻 |
[03:30] | – This glove… – Gobbler. | – 这个手套 – 手到 |
[03:32] | Contains three plastic jewels… | 上面有三颗塑料宝石 |
[03:35] | The Infinitude Gems. | 无仙宝石 |
[03:35] | Each representing one aspect of a heist winner. | 每个宝石对应一个抢夺战赢家要素 |
[03:38] | “Amazing,” “Human,” “Genius.” | “超凡绝伦” “人类” “天才” |
[03:41] | Whoever possesses these stones at midnight | 在午夜拿到这些石头的人 |
[03:42] | will be named champion. | 就会成为冠军 |
[03:44] | But what obstacles will I face, | 但我会面临什么障碍呢 |
[03:46] | you may ask yourself. | 你们也许会问自己 |
[03:47] | Well, the Infinitude Gems will be guarded | 这些无仙宝石呢 |
[03:49] | by a ferocious and daunting sentry. | 会被一位凶残又极具有震慑力的守卫看管 |
[03:53] | Hey, best friends. | 嘿 最好的朋友们 |
[03:54] | We’re not your best friends, Bill. | 我们不是你最好的朋友 Bill |
[03:55] | You don’t get to decide that. | 那不是你能决定的 |
[03:57] | So Bill will hide the gems in his pockets. | Bill会把宝石藏在他的口袋里 |
[03:59] | You’re really gonna have to root around in there. | 你们必须得在我口袋里仔细翻 |
[04:01] | I dried my jeans, so they’re extra tight. | 我烘干了我的牛仔裤 现在这裤子可紧了 |
[04:03] | You were right, Amy. I should have got a safe. | 你之前说得对 Amy 我应该整个保险箱的 |
[04:05] | Sorry, everyone. Let the heist begin! | 抱歉啦大家 抢夺战开始 |
[04:09] | I can’t believe the two strongest competitors | 我不敢相信两个最有力的竞争对手 |
[04:11] | got partnered up. | 居然组成一队了 |
[04:12] | We’re a dream team like in the 1992 Summer Olympics. | 我们就像1992年夏季奥运会的梦之队一样 |
[04:12] | 1992年夏季奥运会美国男子篮球队 绰号为梦之队 囊括了当时NBA几乎所有顶尖篮球员 而被人们看作是历史上最强大的篮球队 | |
[04:17] | Okay, I know you’re not talking about basketball, | 好 我知道你肯定不是在说篮球 |
[04:19] | so just tell me what weird sport you think the Dream Team was from. | 就直接告诉我 你以为梦之队这个名字来自哪个怪运动吧 |
[04:21] | Sport? | 运动 |
[04:22] | I’m talking about the opening ceremonies. | 我在说开幕式呢 |
[04:23] | Agnes Baltsa and Alfredo Kraus | 安娜斯·巴尔莎和阿弗雷多·克劳斯 |
[04:25] | singing back‐to‐back arias. | 背对背唱咏叹调 |
[04:28] | Wonderful, yes, we are just like Agnes and Alfredo | 很好 对 我们就像安娜斯和阿弗雷多一样 |
[04:30] | all thanks to me. | 多亏了我 |
[04:32] | – What? – Oh, yeah. | – 什么 – 哦 对 |
[04:33] | I rigged the envelopes so that we could team up. | 我做了手脚 所以我们才能组成一队 |
[04:34] | But you chose Scully initially. | 但是你本来选的是Scully啊 |
[04:36] | Only because I knew as soon as I tried to go first, | 就是因为我知道只要我第一个开信封 |
[04:38] | Rosa would jump in, and then I made sure | Rosa肯定会抢过去 然后我为了确保没人会选我们俩 |
[04:40] | no one picked our envelopes by marking them | 我在咱俩的信封上留下了 |
[04:42] | with Cheeto thumbprints. | 奇多粟米棒渣渣指印 |
[04:43] | Oh, so everyone would assume | 哦 所以每个人都会假设 |
[04:45] | that they were Hitchcock and Scully’s. | 那两个信封是Hitchcock和Scully的 |
[04:46] | Brilliant. | 太妙了 |
[04:48] | These fools don’t stand a chance against us. | 这些傻瓜们根本不是我们的对手 |
[04:49] | Yeah, they really are fools, aren’t they? | 对啊 他们真是傻瓜 是吧 |
[04:52] | Just like whoever Agnes and Alfredo | 就像那些想上奥运开幕式 |
[04:53] | beat at singing to get into the Olympics. | 但在歌唱方面被安娜斯和阿弗雷多打败的人们 |
[04:55] | – I know nothing about opera. – No, you’re right. | – 我一点也不懂歌剧 – 不 你说得对 |
[04:57] | Amy’s a real Teresa Berganza, huh? | Amy真是和特蕾莎·布干萨一模一样 是吧 |
[05:02] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
[05:03] | Look at them laughing. | 看看他们笑得多灿烂 |
[05:05] | Jake must have said something really funny. | Jake肯定又说了什么特别搞笑的事情 |
[05:06] | Should we forfeit and go hear what it was? | 咱们要不弃权去听听他们说了啥吧 |
[05:08] | No, Charles, we’re not forfeiting. | 别啊 Charles 我们才不弃权 |
[05:09] | I wanted Jake to rig the envelopes | 我想让Jake在信封上动手脚 |
[05:11] | and partner up with Holt. | 然后和Holt组队的 |
[05:13] | I gave him the idea by making him watch “Lincoln.” | 我让他看了<林肯> 从而把这个点子种在了他脑子里 |
[05:15] | Oh, wow, a team of rivals. | 哇 一组死对头耶 |
[05:18] | Mm‐hmm. | 嗯 |
[05:19] | And when that didn’t work, | 后来发现不管用 |
[05:20] | we watched “X‐Men: Days of Future Past.” | 我们又看了 |
[05:22] | Magneto and Professor X working together? | 万磁王和X教授一起工作吗 |
[05:25] | Amy, are you seeing this? | Amy 你看见了吗 |
[05:26] | Yes, I see it. | 我看见了 |
[05:28] | I see it all. | 全都看到了 |
[05:29] | Why would you do that? | 你为什么那样做 |
[05:30] | Jake and Holt are like the ’92 dream team. | Jake和Holt简直是92梦之队啊 |
[05:32] | I know you’re not talking about sports, | 我知道你不是在聊体育 |
[05:33] | so who do you think the ’92 Dream Team was? | 所以你觉得92梦之队是什么啊 |
[05:35] | – Aladdin and Abu. – Right. | – 阿拉丁和阿布啊 – 可不 |
[05:37] | Look, Jake and Holt are too stubborn | 听着 Jake和Holt都太顽固 |
[05:40] | and too proud to work as a team. | 太骄傲到没法团队合作 |
[05:42] | Once they implode, we’ll waltz in and grab the gems. | 他们一旦内斗 我们就大大方方地(跳着华尔兹)去抢宝石 |
[05:44] | I do love waltzing. What about Rosa and Scully? | 我的确喜欢华尔兹 那Rosa和Scully怎么办呢 |
[05:47] | I’m not too worried about them. | 我不是很担心他们俩 |
[05:48] | Hey, Rosa, you brought headphones right? | 嘿 Rosa 你带耳机来了对吧 |
[05:50] | – To drown out the sound? – No. | – 好盖过我发出的声音 – 没有 |
[05:52] | Oh boy, I’m really sorry for what’s heading your way. | 哦 天啊 我对马上要发生的事表示抱歉 |
[05:56] | I’m sorry! | 对不起啊 |
[05:58] | – So here’s the plan. – Okay. | – 计划是这样的 – 好 |
[06:02] | We’re gonna need pliers, grappling hook‐‐ | 我们需要钳子 钩锚 |
[06:05] | Wait. Amy, look. | 等等 Amy 看 |
[06:08] | The bullpen’s filling up with smoke. | 大厅都是烟 |
[06:09] | – Oh, someone’s making a move. – That’s right. | – 哦 某人开始行动了 – 没错 |
[06:11] | And that someone is us. | 某人就是我们 |
[06:13] | Seems like a pretty sloppy plan. | 看起来是个草率的计划啊 |
[06:14] | You’re just saying it’s sloppy because | 你说它草率 |
[06:15] | you’re jealous you didn’t think of it. | 因为你根本没想到这妙计 |
[06:16] | You don’t even know what we’re doing yet. | 你还不知道我们在干什么呢 |
[06:17] | Fog up the room until no one can see | 让烟雾迷漫到谁也看不清 |
[06:19] | and then steal the gems. | 然后去偷宝石 |
[06:20] | Yeah, but I also got us little booties, | 是 但我还给我们拿来了软绵绵鞋套 |
[06:22] | so we can move through the room quietly. | 所以我们能无声无息地穿过大厅 |
[06:24] | And I memorized the exact layout of the entire bullpen | 我还背下了整个大厅的布局 |
[06:26] | using a blindfold | 戴着眼罩记得哟 |
[06:27] | so follow me. | 所以放心跟着我走吧 |
[06:30] | One, two, three, desk. | 一 二 三 桌子 |
[06:32] | One, two, turn. | 一 二 转 |
[06:34] | One, two, three, four, Bill. | 一 二 三 四 Bill |
[06:37] | – Hi, boys. – Oh, God! | – 嗨 小伙儿们 – 妈耶 |
[06:38] | Why do you sound horny? Very upsetting. | 为什么你听起来这么淫荡 真让人心烦 |
[06:40] | Okay, reaching into your pockets, | 好吧 伸进你的口袋 |
[06:41] | feeling a lot of things, and I got the gems. | 摸到了很多东西 拿到宝石了 |
[06:44] | Let’s go. | 走吧 |
[06:45] | One, two, three‐‐oh! | 一 二 三 哦 |
[06:47] | Whoa. | 哎哟 |
[06:49] | Was that the gems? Did you drop them? | 是宝石的声音吗 你把宝石掉了吗 |
[06:51] | That chair wasn’t supposed to be there. | 那里本来没有椅子的 |
[06:52] | – Where’d they go? – I can’t see anything. | – 宝石掉哪去了 – 我啥也看不见 |
[06:54] | Turn off the smoke. | 把烟雾关了 |
[06:55] | It’s lucky I was prepared for you to fail. | 幸好我想到你会失败 还留了一手 |
[06:57] | Now, I didn’t wanna reveal him this early, but… | 看好了 我本来不想让他这么早就现身的 不过 |
[07:16] | Here he comes. | 他来了 |
[07:17] | Cheddar, Cheddar the Dog. | Cheddar 好狗Cheddar |
[07:19] | Yeah, we all knew he was coming. | 行了 我们都知道他会来的 |
[07:21] | You don’t have to make such a meal out of it. | 没必要整这么大阵仗 |
[07:22] | Go, Cheddar. Arcessere. | 去吧 Cheddar 拾来 |
[07:24] | Means fetch. Cheddar’s been taking Latin. | 意思是去拿 Cheddar最近在上拉丁语课 |
[07:25] | Who has the gems? What’s going on? | 谁拿到宝石了 发生什么了 |
[07:27] | And explain it quickly. I have to pee again. | 讲快点 我又要去尿尿了 |
[07:29] | You’re too late. | 你们来晚了 |
[07:31] | For the last three months, | 在过去的三个月里 |
[07:32] | I have been training Cheddar to retrieve gems. | 我一直在训练Cheddar怎么拿到宝石 |
[07:35] | Using his low center of gravity and keen sense of smell, | 我利用了他的低重心和敏锐的嗅觉 |
[07:38] | he expertly‐‐ | 他是专业的 |
[07:39] | Oh, no. He swallowed them. | 噢 不 他把宝石吞下去了 |
[07:42] | He swallowed the gems! | 他把宝石吞下去了 |
[07:44] | Well, Fuck. | 我勒个大草 |
[07:51] | Mmm, got a pedicure, made a smoothie | 做了个指甲护理 还打了杯奶昔 |
[07:53] | ’cause Terry loves smoothies. | 因为Terry超爱奶昔 |
[07:55] | Retiring early was the best decision I have ever made. | 早早退出是我做过最正确的决定 |
[07:58] | Well, you’re missing out. | 呵呵 你错过了好多 |
[07:59] | People are saying | 大家都在说 |
[08:00] | this is the most fun heist we’ve ever done. | 这是我们迄今为止最有意思的抢夺战 |
[08:01] | Looks like Holt keeps trying to put his whole hand | 看起来Holt一直在尝试把他的整只手 |
[08:04] | in Cheddar’s mouth while Rosa googles, | 塞到Cheddar的嘴里 而Rosa还在谷歌上搜索 |
[08:06] | “How to make a dog vomit.” | “怎么让狗呕吐” |
[08:08] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
[08:09] | Like I said, we’re having a blast. | 我都说了 我们玩得超开心 |
[08:11] | Why would he have swallowed the gems? | 他为啥会把宝石吞下去啊 |
[08:13] | Well, a photograph of Cheddar was featured on “Chonky Pups,” | Cheddar有张照片被放在了”胖狗勾”上 |
[08:16] | an Instagram account for overweight pets. | 那是一个专门晒超重肥胖宠物照的ins账号 |
[08:18] | A top comment called him a “Thick king.” | 有一条热门评论管他叫”胖狗王” |
[08:21] | Kevin and I put him on a diet, and I suppose | 我和Kevin在让他节食 我猜 |
[08:23] | he got hungry enough to mistake the gems for food. | 他饿坏了 所以就把宝石当吃的了 |
[08:26] | This is why you don’t team up with a dog. | 这就是为什么不要和一条狗组队 |
[08:27] | It’s better than teaming up with Bill | 总比和Bill组队好 |
[08:29] | like you do every year. | 你每年都和他组队 |
[08:29] | Bill is a human. | Bill是人类 |
[08:31] | He is able to use more than just his mouth. | 除了嘴 他还能有很多地方可以用 |
[08:33] | – Not if you don’t want me to. – Bill, stop chiming in. | – 只要你想 让我用哪都行 – Bill 别插嘴 |
[08:35] | I’m just saying. | 我只是想说 |
[08:36] | I’m not that different from a dog. | 我和狗也没啥特别不一样的 |
[08:37] | You’re not helping. | 说这种话没帮助哈 |
[08:38] | We need to get Cheddar to a doctor right now. | 我们得马上带Cheddar去看医生了 |
[08:40] | Bravo. | 干得漂亮 |
[08:44] | What a performance. | 演出真是精彩 |
[08:46] | Cheddar didn’t swallow any gems. | Cheddar根本没吞下什么宝石 |
[08:48] | This is all a ruse | 这一切都是策划好的 |
[08:49] | just like my brilliant lie about the pumpkin costume. | 就跟我在南瓜服的事上撒的精妙绝伦的谎一样 |
[08:51] | That was good. | 那个谎撒得不错 |
[08:52] | There is no chance in hell that any of this is real. | 这里的一切都绝壁不可能是真的 |
[08:56] | Yep, you can see the gems right here on the X‐ray. | 没错 你能从X光片上直接看到宝石 |
[08:58] | Okay, so it’s real. | 好吧 所以这一切都是真的 |
[08:59] | Uh, I’m sorry. Who are all these people? | 不好意思 请问这些人到底是谁 |
[09:01] | We’re coworkers involved in an elaborate Halloween heist. | 我们是同事 一起参加一场精心策划的万圣节抢夺战 |
[09:04] | Do you seriously not talk to your vet about us? | 说真的 你真的不和你的兽医提起我们吗 |
[09:05] | Seems to me Cheddar has the gems, | 在我看来 Cheddar拿到了宝石 |
[09:07] | and he’s my property, so we win. | 而他又属于我 所以我们赢了 |
[09:10] | Yeah, works for me. | 我同意 这说得通 |
[09:11] | Time for the big wrap‐up speech. | 是时候发表隆重的总结讲话了 |
[09:12] | I’m sure you’re all wondering how we pulled this off. | 我知道 你们都很好奇我们是怎么做到的 |
[09:14] | No, we continue the heist right here, right now. | 不行 我们继续抢夺战 就在此时此地 |
[09:17] | I’m gonna open him up. | 我准备把他剖了 |
[09:18] | No, no, no, no, there’s no need to operate. | 不不不 没有必要做手术 |
[09:20] | The gems are small enough. | 宝石足够小 |
[09:21] | He should be able to excrete them without discomfort. | 他应该可以顺利把他排泄出来 |
[09:23] | The medical term for excrete is dump out. | 排泄的医学术语是拉屎 |
[09:25] | It is not. | 才不是 |
[09:26] | Okay, so we wait until Cheddar passes the gems, | 行吧 所以我们等Cheddar把宝石拉出来 |
[09:29] | and then we restart the heist the next time we all have a free day. | 等到下次我们都有一天空着的时候再重新开始抢夺战 |
[09:31] | Perfect. When will that be? | 完美 所以是啥时候 |
[09:34] | Ladies and gentlemen, | 女士们先生们 |
[09:35] | welcome to the Valentine’s Day Halloween heist. | 欢迎来到情人节万圣节抢夺战 |
[09:38] | – This is still happening? – Why so curious, Terry? | – 你们还在搞抢夺战吗 – Terry 这么好奇干嘛 |
[09:41] | Hoping we’ll let you participate now? | 难道想让我们同意你现在加入吗 |
[09:42] | – ‘Cause you can’t! – Oh, no. | – 你没可能了 – 噢 不 |
[09:44] | I don’t get to compete for a bunch of stones that were in a dog’s butt. | 我不能比赛争夺一堆从狗屁股里拉出来的石头了 |
[09:47] | What will I do? | 我可怎么办啊 |
[09:48] | I’ll have you know | 我得跟你说明白 |
[09:48] | that a dog’s butt is cleaner than a human’s mouth. | 狗屁股可比人嘴巴干净 |
[09:50] | That can’t be true. | 不可能 |
[09:51] | Well, a dog’s mouth is cleaner than a human’s mouth, | 是这样 狗的嘴巴比人的嘴巴要干净 |
[09:53] | and dog mouths lick dog butts | 而且狗嘴巴还会去舔狗屁股 |
[09:55] | so you tell me where my theory is wrong. | 你倒跟我说说 我的逻辑哪里错了 |
[09:58] | He has no comeback. | 他根本无力反击 |
[09:59] | All right, the heist will pick up where we left off. | 好了 争夺赛就从我们上次暂停的地方重新开始 |
[10:01] | There are six hours remaining and three teams left. | 还剩下六个小时 三支队伍 |
[10:03] | The now‐sterilized Infinitude Gems | 现在 消毒过的无仙宝石 |
[10:06] | will be placed back into the care of Bill. | 重新归Bill保管 |
[10:08] | Oh, wow, Bill, looks like you had a rough four months. | 哇哦 Bill 看起来过去四个月你过得很糟糕啊 |
[10:10] | It was actually a great three months | 其实头三个月还挺好的 |
[10:12] | and then one really bad one. | 只不过接下来一个月糟透了 |
[10:15] | Okay, but you’re here, and you’re happier than ever. | 好吧 不过你已经在这儿了 而且你比以前任何时候都要开心 |
[10:17] | I don’t know why you think that. | 我不明白你怎么会这么想 |
[10:20] | Let the heist re‐begin! | 抢夺战又重新开始了 |
[10:23] | Okay, your smoke plan was a disaster. | 你的烟雾计划糟透了 |
[10:26] | Yeah, because your dog ate the gems. | 那是因为你的狗吃了无仙宝石 |
[10:28] | Because you tripped and dropped them. | 是因为你绊倒了自己 弄掉了宝石 |
[10:30] | Yeah, because someone put a chair in my way | 对啊 是因为有人把椅子放在了路中间 |
[10:32] | that wasn’t supposed to be there. | 那椅子不应该出现在那里 |
[10:33] | I’m sorry. Are you accusing me of something? | 不好意思 你是在指责我吗 |
[10:35] | Was that not clear? | 我表达得不够清楚吗 |
[10:35] | Do you need me to say it in Latin? | 需要我用拉丁语说吗 |
[10:37] | I think you sabotage me. | 我说你给我添乱了 |
[10:39] | I would never. | 我不会的 |
[10:40] | I want to win, | 我想要赢 |
[10:41] | Which is why I’m initiating Operation Fabius. | 所以我才发起了法比乌斯行动 |
[10:44] | Okay. That does sound kind of cool. | 可以 听起来确实有点酷 |
[10:47] | Well, it shouldn’t. I may have to change the name. | 嗯 不应该酷的 看来我得换个名字 |
[10:48] | Roman dictator Fabius Maximus | 罗马独裁者法比乌斯·马克西姆斯 |
[10:51] | defeated Hannibal by avoiding battle and exercising patience. | 通过避免战争和磨炼耐心战胜了汉尼拔 |
[10:55] | I can be patient. | 我可以做到耐心啊 |
[10:56] | I just listened to you talk about that Fabius guy for, like, four hours. | 我刚刚听你讲那个法比乌斯就听了快四个小时 |
[11:00] | – It was two sentences. – Ugh, shut up. | – 我就说了两句话 – 呃 闭嘴吧 |
[11:02] | And the infighting continues. | 内讧还在继续 |
[11:04] | I guess Jake and I still have the only unbreakable bond in the whole precinct. | 看来Jake与我的关系还是全警局内最牢不可破 |
[11:08] | I mean, he is my husband. | 呃 他是我丈夫 |
[11:10] | Uh‐huh. No one ever gets divorced? | 干嘛 难道没人离婚的吗 |
[11:12] | – Charles. – I’m sorry. | – Charles – 对不起 |
[11:13] | I’m just all worked up because of the heist. | 我就只是因为这抢夺战有些暴躁 |
[11:15] | There’s heist in the geist. | 抢夺战搞乱了我的精神 |
[11:17] | No, look. There’s something happening. | 不是啦 你看 有事发生 |
[11:18] | I have flowers for Bill Hummertrout. | Bill Hummertrout先生的花 |
[11:20] | Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is a scam. | 喔噢 喔噢 这是个骗局 |
[11:22] | There’s no one in Bill’s life that would send him flowers. | Bill的生活中没有人会送他花 |
[11:24] | It’s true. Something’s up. | 的确 这有问题 |
[11:26] | Flowers for Bill Hummertrout? | Bill Hummertrout先生的花 |
[11:27] | How many of these guys are there? | 有多少送花的人进来了 |
[11:28] | – Flowers for Bill… – What is happening? | – 给Bill的花 – 怎么回事 |
[11:30] | You tell us. | 问你自己啊 |
[11:31] | You’re the one who just mysteriously appeared at this critical moment. | 你才是那个在关键时刻神秘出场的人 |
[11:34] | I was stuck in the bathroom with Scully. | 我之前一直和Scully在卫生间里 |
[11:36] | – It was a nightmare. – For me too. | – 糟透了 – 我也是啊 |
[11:37] | Hitchcock and I haven’t had any time alone all day. | Hitchcock和我一整天都没有独处的时间 |
[11:39] | I don’t even know what he had for lunch. | 我甚至不知道他午饭吃了什么 |
[11:40] | – Italian sandwich. – But with what kind of chips? | – 意大利三明治 – 但配菜是哪种薯片呢 |
[11:42] | Okay, stop. We don’t have time for this. | 好了 停 我们没时间了 |
[11:43] | Everyone, form a blockade! Protect Bill! | 各位 封锁现场 保护Bill |
[11:46] | Protect the gems! | 保护宝石 |
[11:47] | I can’t see anything. There’s too many of them. | 我什么也看不见 他们人太多了 |
[11:49] | – Wait, they’re clearing out. – Yeah, because they got them. | – 等等 他们正在撤离 – 是啊 因为他们拿到宝石了 |
[11:52] | – The gems are gone. – Of course they are. | – 宝石不见了 – 当然了 |
[11:53] | This is clearly the work of Charles Boyle, | 这显然是Charles Boyle干的 |
[11:56] | the son of a florist. | 花店老板之子 |
[11:57] | You think I’d make bouquets that look like this? | 你觉得我会把花束做成这样吗 |
[11:59] | With all this baby’s‐breath? What do you think of me? | 这么多满天星 你觉得我会是这样的人吗 |
[12:01] | Maybe it was Terry who sent the flowers! | 也许是Terry送的花 |
[12:04] | Yeah, I really wanted to spend $2,000 | 是啊 我真的很想在情人节 |
[12:06] | on Valentine’s Day not for my wife. | 为我妻子以外的人花2000美元 |
[12:08] | – Ah, he admitted it! – No, Rosa took the gems. | – 哈 他承认了 – 不 Rosa拿走了宝石 |
[12:10] | I saw you brush up against one of the flower delivery men | 我看见你和一个送花的人擦肩而过 |
[12:13] | who handed you the gems, which you gave to Scully, | 他把宝石递给了你 然后你给了Scully |
[12:15] | who placed them in his mouth. | Scully把它们放进了嘴里 |
[12:16] | – That’s absurd. – Yeah, that’s absurd. | – 这太荒谬了 – 是啊 太荒谬了 |
[12:19] | Okay, fine, but no one is getting those gems. | 好吧 但是没人能得到宝石 |
[12:21] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
[12:22] | None of you would dare to | 你们谁也不敢 |
[12:23] | put your bare hands inside of Scully’s mouth. | 徒手伸进Scully嘴里 |
[12:24] | Yeah. | 对 |
[12:25] | Who knows what kind of diseases he’s got. | 谁知道他得了什么病 |
[12:26] | My doctors sure don’t. | 我的医生肯定不知道 |
[12:30] | Scully, why wasn’t that garbled? | Scully 你刚刚那句话为什么没有口齿不清 |
[12:31] | Yep, he swallowed ’em. | 是的 他吞下去了 |
[12:32] | You can see the gems right here on the X‐ray. | 你可以在X光片上看到宝石 |
[12:34] | And you’re sure those are the gems | 你确定那些是宝石 |
[12:35] | and there’s not something horribly wrong with him? | 不是他的身体出了什么可怕的问题吗 |
[12:37] | Well, the part that’s horribly wrong with him is if you look here‐‐ | 嗯 你看这里的话就可以看到他的身体健康问题是 |
[12:39] | Oh, nobody cares. | 哦 没人在乎这个 |
[12:40] | What does this mean for the heist? | 所以这对抢夺战意味着什么 |
[12:43] | Ladies and gentlemen, | 女士们先生们 |
[12:44] | welcome to the Easter Valentine’s Day Halloween heist! | 欢迎来到复活节情人节万圣节抢夺战 |
[12:53] | We will once again pick up where we left off. | 我们将再次重新开始 |
[12:54] | The Infinitude Gems‐‐ | 无仙宝石 |
[12:56] | You guys are still doing this? You know it’s April now. | 你们还在玩这个吗 现在已经是四月了 |
[12:59] | Yeah, Terry, we’re still doing it, | 是的 Terry 我们还在继续 |
[13:00] | and we’re still having a great time. | 且仍然玩得很开心 |
[13:01] | Why are the gems so pale? | 为什么宝石这么苍白 |
[13:02] | I guess Scully’s insides zapped all the color out of them? | 我猜是Scully的内脏给他们换了颜色吧 |
[13:04] | I don’t know, babe. | 我不知道啊 亲爱的 |
[13:05] | You’re undercutting my whole thing with Terry here. | 我刚刚和Terry的对话都被你盖过去了 |
[13:07] | Anyways, the Infinitude Gems will go back to Bill | 不管怎样 我们要把无仙宝石放回Bill身上 |
[13:10] | whose life seems to have unraveled even further. | Bill的生活似乎更糟了 |
[13:12] | – Tough March for you there, bud? – Yeah, just a heads up. | – 你的三月过得很艰难吗 兄弟 – 嗯是的 就提醒一下 |
[13:14] | I sold my pants with the pockets, | 我把我有口袋的裤子卖掉了 |
[13:16] | so I’ll be putting the gems in my undies this time. | 所以这次我要把宝石放在内衣里了 |
[13:18] | – No. – I’ll give him a fanny pack. | – 不行 – 我会给他一个腰包的 |
[13:20] | Can I keep it? | 那我可以拿走吗 |
[13:21] | This could be just what I need to turn my life around. | 这可能就是我改变生活所需要的 |
[13:23] | Yeah, Bill, you can keep the fanny pack. | 对 Bill 你可以留下腰包 |
[13:24] | I don’t have to do anything for it, do I? | 我不需要做任何事是吧 |
[13:26] | Because I will if you ask. | 如果你说要 我也会答应的 |
[13:28] | I’ll do anything, even… | 我什么事都可以做 哪怕是 |
[13:32] | What’s that supposed to represent? | 这动作是什么意思 |
[13:33] | No one answer that. Anyhow, quick heist update. | 没人会回答的 总之 快速汇报抢夺战更新情况 |
[13:36] | There’s less than an hour left, and only two teams remain. | 还有不到一小时 还剩下了两支队伍 |
[13:39] | Two? | 两支 |
[13:40] | My doctor said I’m at a grave risk for a shenanigan‐related death, | 我医生说我有很大风险会死于恶作剧 |
[13:43] | so I have to drop out. | 所以我必须退出 |
[13:44] | That’s not fair. I should get a new partner. | 这不公平 我应该有个新搭档 |
[13:45] | – Terry, you want back in? – Nope. | – Terry 你想重新参加吗 – 不 |
[13:47] | I want my mango tango. Slurp, slurp. | 我想要我的芒果冰沙 咕噜咕噜 |
[13:49] | Sorry, Rosa, if you wanna switch partners this late in the game, | 抱歉 Rosa 如果你这么晚才想换搭档 |
[13:52] | they have to have the same skill set as Scully. | 那他们得和Scully能力相当 |
[13:54] | – I’m available. – Right, or… | – 我有空 – 对 或者 |
[13:57] | That filing cabinet kind of looks like Scully. | 那个文件柜看起来有点像Scully |
[13:59] | I see it. Same flat top. | 我懂了 一样的平头 |
[14:00] | But if we really wanna make this a fair switch, | 不过如果我们真的要公平地交换 |
[14:02] | it seems like you need to start in the men’s room. | 那似乎你要在男厕所里开始抢夺战 |
[14:05] | – Come on. – Let the heist re‐re‐begin! | – 别吧 – 抢夺战再再次开始 |
[14:12] | Okay, in five minutes, | 好 在五分钟内 |
[14:14] | ten other bunnies will march past this door. | 还有十只兔子会走过这扇门 |
[14:16] | We’ll blend in and grab the gems. | 我们会融入进去 拿到宝石 |
[14:18] | It’s foolproof. | 这计划万无一失 |
[14:19] | How is this any different than my bunny suit plan? | 这和我的兔子装计划有什么不一样 |
[14:21] | Oh, it’s very different. | 哦 非常不一样 |
[14:22] | I gave the bunnies glasses and little, blue vests. | 我给我的兔子们戴了眼镜 穿了小小蓝色背心 |
[14:25] | The vests add nothing. | 这些背心没什么用 |
[14:26] | The vests add gravitas. | 这些背心增加了庄严感 |
[14:28] | Your butt adds gravitas. | 你的屁股增加了庄严感 |
[14:32] | Get ready. | 准备好 |
[14:34] | Bunnies are gonna be here at any moment. | 兔子们随时都可能出现 |
[14:35] | How do you know this is their plan? | 你怎么知道这是他们的计划 |
[14:37] | ‘Cause Jake frickin’ told me. | 因为Jake他妈的告诉了我 |
[14:38] | – He did? – Yeah. | – 他告诉你了 – 对 |
[14:39] | He’s so frustrated with Holt‐‐ like I knew he would be‐‐ | 他对Holt很失望 就如我知道的那样 |
[14:42] | that it’s all he talks about… | 这都是他说的 |
[14:44] | In therapy. | 在心理治疗的时候 |
[14:45] | What? | 什么 |
[14:46] | The thing is, the bunny vests do add gravitas, | 关键是 兔子背心真的增加了庄严感 |
[14:49] | but I can’t tell him that ’cause then he wins. | 但我不能告诉他 不然他就赢了 |
[14:51] | Oh, hey, is it weird that Jane Jetson gives me a bo‐‐ | 哦 嘿 是不是很奇怪Jane Jetson让我有反 |
[14:53] | You found a therapist that let you do that? | 你居然找到了一个让你这样做的心理治疗师 |
[14:55] | No, I’ve been paying an actress | 不是 我雇了一名演员 |
[14:56] | to pretend to treat him for months. | 假装去治疗他治疗了几个月 |
[14:58] | She’s actually helped him a lot. | 她还真的帮了挺多的 |
[14:59] | Oh, did Jake ever say anything about me | 哦 Jake有没有提到关于我的事 |
[15:01] | while you were listening? | 当你在偷听的时候 |
[15:04] | Where are those bunnies? | 兔子们呢 |
[15:09] | Boy, that thing’s pretty heavy, huh? | 天 这玩意真的挺重的 对吧 |
[15:14] | Here they come, my beautiful, blue‐vested bunnies. | 他们来了 我漂亮的蓝色背心兔子们 |
[15:18] | My God, they’re so cool. | 天呐 它们太酷了 |
[15:19] | What’s that? | 什么 |
[15:20] | Hm. Nothing. I hate them. | 没什么 我讨厌它们 |
[15:21] | – This probably won’t even work. – Let’s go. | – 这可能根本没用 – 走吧 |
[15:24] | It’s happening. Put on your head. | 开始了 戴上你的头套 |
[15:26] | Oh, with pleasure. | 哦 很乐意 |
[15:27] | I love disappearing into a role. | 我喜欢沉浸在角色里 |
[15:29] | I’m Argyle James Hopford, a bachelor bunny | 我是Argyle James Hopford 一只单身兔 |
[15:31] | who’s carrying out a scandalous affair with a local goose. | 与当地的大鹅有一段见不得人的关系 |
[15:34] | Shut up and put on your damn head! | 闭嘴 他妈的戴上你的头套 |
[15:36] | Hello, bunnies. | 你们好 兔子们 |
[15:37] | Okay, just be cool and blend in. | 好 保持冷静 融入进去 |
[15:39] | – Jake, who are those bunnies? – It must be Amy and Charles. | – Jake 那两只兔子是谁 – 一定是Amy和Charles |
[15:42] | They see us. Let’s go. | 他们看到我们了 走 |
[15:43] | Give it up, Bill! Give it up! | 放弃吧 Bill 放弃 |
[15:44] | Come on, Holt, move your ass. | 快点 Holt 跑起来 |
[15:45] | No, I can’t unclasp the fanny pack with these furry hands. | 不 我毛茸茸的手解不开这个腰包 |
[15:47] | You’re hitting me, Jake. | 你在打我 Jake |
[15:48] | I can’t see anything, and we’re all dressed the same. | 我什么都看不见 而且我们都穿的一样 |
[15:50] | – Uh‐oh, Rosa’s coming. – And Bill’s getting away. | – 啊哦 Rosa来了 – Bill要走了 |
[15:52] | Nope, I got his ankle. | 不 我抓住了他的脚踝 |
[15:53] | Get off me! Get off me! | 放开我 放开我 |
[15:56] | Someone got the fanny pack! | 有人拿到腰包了 |
[15:57] | They’re headed for the roof! | 他们去屋顶了 |
[15:59] | Go, go, go, go, go. | 冲 冲 冲 冲 冲 |
[16:05] | – This is still going on? – Was it Terry? | – 还在继续吗 – 这是Terry吗 |
[16:07] | Nope. Wasn’t me. | 不 不是我 |
[16:09] | Wait, if you’re Terry, then that must be… | 等等 如果你是Terry 那跳下去的一定是 |
[16:17] | What’s up, losers? | 怎么样 失败者们 |
[16:28] | – Rosa, that was amazing. – It was not amazing. | – Rosa 这真惊人 – 这没什么惊人的 |
[16:30] | She didn’t stay handcuffed to her partner. | 她没有和她的同伴铐在一起 |
[16:32] | She’s disqualified. | 她不合格 |
[16:33] | We’ll reset and start over on the next holiday. | 我们会在下次节日的时候重新开始 |
[16:35] | Earth day‐‐an Earth day heist. | 地球日 地球日抢夺战 |
[16:37] | It’s perfect. | 完美 |
[16:38] | Wrong. Rules said I couldn’t undo the cuffs, | 错 规则规定我不能解开手铐 |
[16:40] | and I didn’t. | 我没有解开 |
[16:41] | Oh, not fair. | 哦 不公平 |
[16:42] | I didn’t know I could cut off Peralta’s hand. | 我不知道我可以砍掉Peralta的手 |
[16:44] | I’ll file that away for next year. | 我记下来了 明年再用这招 |
[16:45] | Actually, I think we’re one and done on the whole handcuff concept. | 事实上 我觉得手铐规则就只用今年这一次吧 |
[16:48] | This is incredible. How’d you do it, Rosa? | 难以置信 你怎么做到的 |
[16:49] | Well, back on Halloween, | 好吧 说回万圣节的时候 |
[16:51] | I knew Jake would make the first move, | 我知道Jake会先行动 |
[16:53] | and I had to be ready. | 我得做好准备 |
[16:54] | You were hiding in the fog. | 你当时躲在烟雾里 |
[16:55] | It wasn’t Holt that put that chair in my pathway. | 用椅子挡我路的不是Holt |
[16:57] | No, I did. | 不 的确是我 |
[16:58] | I wanted to be the one who was responsible for our victory. | 我想把我们的胜利归到自己头上 |
[17:01] | – What? – We already lost. | – 什么 – 我们已经输了 |
[17:02] | There’s no point in trying to maintain team morale now. | 现在没必要保持融洽的队友情谊了 |
[17:04] | Dick. | 混球 |
[17:05] | Anyway, I knew Cheddar would be making an appearance. | 不管怎么说 我知道Cheddar一定会出场的 |
[17:07] | Oh, everyone loves to see Cheddar. | 噢 大家都可高兴见到Cheddar了 |
[17:09] | He’s here a lot. I never bring in Arlo. | 它老是在这儿 我从没把Arlo带来过 |
[17:11] | – Who? – Exactly. | – 谁 – 就是这个意思 |
[17:12] | I spent every morning for the last year | 在过去一年的每个早上 |
[17:13] | giving Cheddar a taste for ham. | 我都会喂Cheddar一点火腿 |
[17:15] | Oh, so that’s why he got so thick | 噢 难怪它变得这么肥 |
[17:17] | and ended up on “Chonky Pups.” | 还登上了”肥狗勾” |
[17:18] | I submitted his photo. | 是我投稿了它的照片 |
[17:19] | And once you put Cheddar on a diet, | 后来你开始给Cheddar节食 |
[17:21] | all I had to do was mark the gems | 我就只需要把钻石沾上 |
[17:22] | with a little of that sweet ham taste. | 一点甜美的火腿味道 |
[17:23] | Why did you want Cheddar to swallow the gems? | 你为什么想让Cheddar吞钻石 |
[17:25] | Because I needed to delay things. | 因为我需要拖延 |
[17:27] | The second part of my plan took place on Valentine’s Day, | 我计划的第二部分在情人节那天实施 |
[17:29] | which went perfectly. | 圆满成功 |
[17:30] | Ah, I wouldn’t say perfectly. | 啊 倒也不是圆满 |
[17:31] | Scully swallowed the gems. | Scully把钻石吞了 |
[17:33] | ‘Cause I tricked him into it. Wasn’t hard. | 因为那是我设的套 不费吹灰之力 |
[17:34] | Pretty much used the same Cheddar ham playbook. | 我直接照搬了喂Cheddar吃火腿的套路 |
[17:36] | Table ham. | 桌上的火腿 |
[17:38] | Seven days in a row. | 已经是连续第七天了 |
[17:40] | So now I have to think twice | 所以现在我还得先考虑一下 |
[17:41] | before I eat food I find lying around. | 再吃从随手发现的食物了 |
[17:43] | Thanks a lot. | 我可谢谢你 |
[17:44] | I marked the gems with ham again, | 我再次把钻石沾上火腿味 |
[17:45] | and everything pushed to Easter | 然后这事就拖到了复活节 |
[17:47] | when I could finally get rid of Scully as my partner. | 这样我就能摆脱Scully这个搭档了 |
[17:49] | Doctor, I’m willing to pay you | 医生 我愿意付你钱 |
[17:51] | to tell Norm Scully not to participate‐‐ | 只要你告诉Norm Scully不要参与 |
[17:53] | Participate? No, no, no. | 什么参与 不不不 |
[17:54] | Norm Scully should not be participating in any activities. | Norm Scully不应该参与任何活动 |
[17:56] | He could die. | 他会因此丧命的 |
[17:57] | I’ll go call him right now. | 我现在就给他打电话 |
[17:58] | Now I finally had a teammate whose hand I could cut off. | 现在我终于有了能被我砍掉手的队友 |
[18:01] | Just needed a little help from Terry. | 我只需要Terry帮一点小忙 |
[18:02] | Boy, that thing’s pretty heavy, huh? | 倒 那玩意肯定很重吧 |
[18:04] | Did you bring the tools? | 你带工具了吗 |
[18:06] | But you were retired. You were loving your smoothies. | 但你宣布退出了 而且沉迷奶昔 |
[18:09] | Yeah, but after a while, I felt left out. | 对 但过了一段时间后 我感觉被忽视了 |
[18:11] | And if I’m being honest, | 说实话 |
[18:12] | the smoothies weren’t even that good. | 奶昔根本没那么美味 |
[18:13] | I wonder why that was. | 真想知道为什么 |
[18:14] | Maybe it’s because I hammed your smoothie. | 可能是因为我给你的奶昔加了火腿 |
[18:16] | Am I the only one who didn’t get fed ham this year? | 难道我是今年唯一没被投喂火腿的人吗 |
[18:19] | Wait, how did you know about Jake’s bunny plan? | 等等 你是怎么知道Jake的兔子计划的 |
[18:22] | You weren’t the only one listening in on his therapy. | 你不是唯一一个偷听他治疗的人 |
[18:23] | Of course the bunnies should have glasses. | 兔子当然要戴眼镜 |
[18:25] | I just can’t believe I didn’t come up with it myself. | 我就是不敢相信这不是我自己想出来的 |
[18:27] | Oh, you know what? | 噢 你知道吗 |
[18:28] | Betty Rubble also gives me a bo‐‐ | Betty Rubble也让我有反 |
[18:29] | You guys were listening in on my therapy? | 你们竟然偷听我的治疗 |
[18:31] | That feels like a real violation‐‐ | 这听起来可真是侵犯了 |
[18:33] | Jake, Jake, this is Rosa’s moment. | Jake Jake 这是Rosa的高光时刻 |
[18:35] | Yeah, man, go tell it to your fake therapist. | 是啊 兄弟 去跟你的假治疗师说去 |
[18:37] | She’s fake? | 她是假的 |
[18:38] | Anyway, then I grabbed the gems, | 话说回来 我抢了钻石之后 |
[18:39] | jumped off the roof, and wrote my name in flames. | 从屋顶跳下去 用火写出了我的名字 |
[18:41] | Wait, why did you keep delaying the heist? | 等等 你为什么一直在把抢夺战往后拖 |
[18:43] | Couldn’t you have just won at Halloween? | 你就不能在万圣节赢了完事吗 |
[18:45] | Oh, I did. | 噢 我是赢了 |
[18:46] | These are the real Halloween gems. | 这些才是货真价实的万圣节钻石 |
[18:48] | I switched them out before Cheddar found them. | 我在Cheddar发现之前掉包了 |
[18:50] | I also won on Valentine’s Day. | 情人节我也赢了 |
[18:52] | What is happening? | 什么情况 |
[18:53] | I switched those gems out before I gave them to Scully. | 在给Scully之前 我把钻石掉包了 |
[18:55] | And then I won today. | 然后 今天我也赢了 |
[18:58] | So while you nerds are always arguing | 所以当你们这些呆子还在争论 |
[18:59] | about who the only two‐time champion is… | 谁才是两连冠时 |
[19:01] | Me. | 是我 |
[19:02] | I just became the first three‐time champion. | 我成为了第一个三连冠 |
[19:04] | I guess there’s just one thing left to do. | 我想现在只剩一件事要做了 |
[19:06] | To Rosa Diaz, an amazing human/genius. | 敬Rosa Diaz 一个超凡绝伦人类兼天才 |
[19:10] | To Rosa Diaz. | 敬Rosa Diaz |
[19:12] | Well, you did it, but always remember one thing. | 你成功了 但要永远记住一件事 |
[19:15] | Those gems were in Scully’s butt. | 那些钻石进过Scully的屁股 |
[19:17] | – How dare you. – I know. | – 你好大的胆子 – 我知道 |
[19:18] | I’m happy for you, I guess. I don’t know. | 我为你感到高兴 大概吧 我也说不上来 |
[19:19] | Hold on. I have some math questions. | 等等 我有一些数学问题 |
[19:21] | If Rosa has three wins, does Scully have two? | 如果Rosa赢了三次 那Scully赢了两次吗 |
[19:23] | – Am I now tied with Scully? – No, no, no. | – 所以我现在和Scully平分 – 不不不 |
[19:25] | I’m tied with Scully. | 我和Scully平分 |
[19:26] | You’re tied with the filing cabinet. | 你和档案柜平分 |
[19:27] | The filing cabinet has more wins than me? | 档案柜赢的次数比我还多 |
[19:29] | – Yes, obviously. – Yeah, that’s how that works. | – 显然如此 – 对 就是这么一回事 |
[19:30] | – As it should. – Guys, stop it. | – 合情合理 – 各位 别吵了 |
[19:32] | We’re supposed to be celebrating Rosa here, | 我们该做的是为Rosa庆祝 |
[19:33] | – not fighting. – No, no, keep fighting. | – 而不是拌嘴 – 不不 吵起来 |
[19:35] | It’s why I did this. | 这就是我的目的 |
[19:37] | You know, technically, we all shared in Jake’s first win, | 其实吧 理论上来说 我们都帮Jake赢了第一次 |
[19:39] | so this might be my fourth. | 所以这该是我第四次赢 |
[19:40] | What? No. | 什么 才不是 |
[19:41] | Yeah, that’s a good point. | 对啊 说的有道理 |
[19:42] | Oh, we also helped Holt win too. | 噢 我们还帮Holt赢过呢 |
[19:44] | Oh, shut up, Santiago. Just shut up. | 哦 闭嘴吧Santiago 赶紧闭嘴 |
[19:47] | – Excuse me? – Wow, shut up? | – 你说什么 – 哇 闭嘴吗 |
[19:48] | – How dare you, sir. – I won two times. | – 你怎么敢这么说 – 我赢了两次 |
[19:50] | That is my wife. | 这可是我老婆 |