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神烦警探(Brooklyn Nine-Nine)第3季第2集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 神烦警探(Brooklyn Nine-Nine)第3季第2集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
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[00:00] Okay, squad, the funeral’s at 3:00, 同志们 葬礼三点开始
[00:03] followed by a reception at Shaw’s Bar. 之后在Shaw的酒吧有招待会
[00:05] I want you all on your best behavior. 我希望你们都能好好表现
[00:07] Yeah, and all eyes are gonna be on us 是的 所有目光都会集中在我们身上
[00:09] because Frick and Frack here killed Captain Dozerman. 因为我们的阿呆和阿瓜弄死了Dozerman警监
[00:10] Hey, we accidentally startled a man 我们是不小心吓到了一个有
[00:12] with a genetic heart condition. 先天性心脏病的人
[00:14] If you really think about it, his parents killed him. 如果认真追究 是他爸妈杀了他
[00:16] All right, whatever. 好了 随便吧
[00:18] Look, there’s a horse race going off in Dubai. 听着 迪拜在举行一场赛马
[00:19] I got serious money on it. 我可是下了大赌注的
[00:21] Dismissed. 解散
[00:22] Oh, yeah, we should all check out that race. 是啊我们都该关注下那场赛马
[00:25] God. 天呐
[00:27] He is the worst captain we’ve ever had. 他是带过我们的最烂的警监了
[00:29] He drew boobies on my bulletproof vest. 他在我的防弹背心上画了咪咪
[00:31] He stared at me for 90 seconds while he ate an entire peach. 他在吃桃子的时候盯了我九十秒
[00:33] He heard that I speak Spanish, 他听说我会说西班牙语
[00:34] and he made me fire his housekeeper. 就逼我去开除他的管家
[00:36] She was Polish. 她可是波兰人啊
[00:37] At least he doesn’t practice 好歹他没有用你
[00:38] his crane kicks with you. 练习他的鹤踢
[00:43] I said not to move! 我说了别动
[00:45] I didn’t move. 我没动
[00:46] Listen, guys. 听着 朋友们
[00:47] Jake and I were talking last night. Jake和我昨晚聊过了
[00:48] Pillow talk alert! Set the scene. 枕边话时间 情景再现
[00:49] – Spooning or face-to-face? – Charles. – 依偎着还是面对面 – Charles
[00:51] Spooning. 依偎着
[00:52] Anyway, we came up with a plan. 总而言之 我们想出了个计划
[00:54] Jake is going to befriend the Vulture Jake会去和秃鹰套近乎
[00:57] so he lays off of us. 好让他对我们好一点
[00:58] It’s true. 是真的
[00:59] I’m gonna bro down with him. 我要去和他称兄道弟
[01:00] If everything goes according to plan, 如果计划进行顺利
[01:01] we should be beer pong doubles partners 我们在这周末应该就会成为
[01:03] by the end of the week. 啤酒乒乓双打搭档了
[01:04] Now somebody get me a puka shell necklace. 谁给我个贝壳项链
[01:06] I’m going full douche. 我要走全套混蛋路线了
[01:29] Okay. 好了
[01:32] Hey, ‘sup, bro? 嘿 兄弟好啊
[01:33] ‘Sup, Jake? 好啊Jake
[01:35] Got a little update for you 给你汇报点那个
[01:36] on that Deberg assault case. Deberg伤人案的小进展
[01:38] Turns out the victim’s wife was super hot. 原来受害者的老婆超性感的
[01:41] Yeah, I read the file. She’s a mom. 是啊我读过档案了 已经当妈了
[01:43] Not interested. 不感兴趣
[01:44] True that. 这倒是
[01:46] So listen, I’ve been thinking. 对了 我想过了
[01:49] We got off on the wrong foot here. 我们一开始相处的不太顺利
[01:51] And I believe it’s ’cause we’re just 我相信只是因为我们
[01:53] too damn similar. 太相似了
[01:54] – You do? – Absolutely. – 是吗 – 真的
[01:55] We both love premium tequila… 我们都喜欢优质龙舌兰
[01:57] Yeah. 是啊
[01:58] – Robin Thicke. – Oh, yeah. – Robin Thicke – 哦是啊
[02:00] – Gots to have my puks. – Gots to. – 贝壳是必须的 – 必须的
[02:01] And of course most importantly, Nip slips. 还有最重要的 露点
[02:04] Let me ask you a question, Jake. 我来问你个问题 Jake
[02:06] You also like Okinawan martial arts? 你是不是也喜欢冲绳武术
[02:07] Because you left this in my back. 因为你把这个插在了我的背上
[02:10] Hmm? 嗯
[02:10] What I’m saying, Einstein, 我想说的是 爱因斯坦
[02:12] is that you stabbed me in my back. 你在背后中伤我了
[02:14] How so? 怎么会
[02:15] We came up with a plan. 我们想出了个计划
[02:17] Jake is going to befriend the Vulture Jake回去和秃鹰套近乎
[02:18] so he lays off of us. 好让他让我们好过些
[02:19] Busted. I knew that you were faking it. 抓了个现行 我就知道你是装的
[02:21] I’ll bet you don’t even like nip slips! 我赌你根本不喜欢露点
[02:23] So, what, you bugged the briefing room? 所以 是怎样 你窃听了简报室
[02:25] No, Scully butt-dialed me yesterday 不 Scully的屁股昨天按到了我的电话
[02:27] and he still hasn’t hung up. 而且到现在还没挂
[02:28] Once again, Scully’s butt is the downfall of this precinct. 又一次 Scully的屁股拖了这个警局的后腿
[02:31] Look, Jake, I know that you and Santiago 听着 Jake 我知道你和Santiago
[02:32] are trying to take me down. 在试图击败我
[02:34] You guys go home. You lay in bed together. 你们回家 一起躺在床上
[02:36] You plot against me. 计划怎么对付我
[02:37] Well, no longer. 不会再这样了
[02:39] I want you to dump Santiago, and that’s an order. 我要你甩了Santiago 这是命令
[02:41] What? You can’t do that. 什么 你不能这么做
[02:43] It’s completely against the rules. 这完全违反了规则
[02:44] Okay, Sonia Sotomayor. 好吧 Sonia Sotomayor
[02:46] I would never break the rules. 我绝不会违反规则的
[02:47] But what I could do, for totally “Unrelated reasons,” 但是我可以以完全不相干的理由
[02:51] Is have you busted back down to a beat cop. 让你降级去做巡警
[02:53] No, don’t do that, all right? 不 别那么做 好吗
[02:56] I can learn to love nip slips. 我可以试着喜欢露点
[02:57] No, you either love them, or you don’t. 不 你要么就是爱 要么就是不爱
[02:59] It’s too late. 太迟了
[03:00] You dump Santiago, or you kiss 甩了Santiago 不然就
[03:02] that detective badge good-bye. 和你的警徽说再见吧
[03:05] Beat it. 滚吧
[03:07] First time back in the Nine-Nine. 第一次回到99区
[03:09] Mm. 嗯
[03:10] I really miss these people, 我真的很想念这些人
[03:12] the whole crew… Jake, Terry, bleh. 全部的人 Jake Terry 那谁
[03:15] I forget all the other names. 其他名字我全忘了
[03:17] Just remember, we’re here as PR representatives. 记住 我们是以公关部代表的身份来这儿的
[03:19] I don’t wanna be disruptive. 我不想打扰他们
[03:21] Too bad. 没办法
[03:22] We’re like rock stars to these people. 我们就像这些人的偶像
[03:23] They’re gonna go nuts, just like… 他们会疯了的 就像
[03:27] I would hate it if these doors opened 我不希望门开了之后
[03:28] and everyone stopped working to applaud us. 大家都停下工作欢迎我们
[03:34] Hmm, nothing. 嗯 啥都没
[03:37] You must be loving this. 你肯定很开心
[03:39] Yes. 是的
[03:41] What? 什么
[03:42] He’s ordering us to break up? 他命令我们分手
[03:43] Look, we can deal with this. 我们会有办法的
[03:44] We just need a new plan. 我们只是需要一个新计划
[03:45] I got it. 有了
[03:46] We lie, tell him we broke up, 我们可以撒谎 告诉他我们分了
[03:48] and then date in secret. 然后偷偷在一起
[03:49] Great! And you’d be okay lying to your captain? 太好了 你对你的警监撒谎也没事吗
[03:52] – Okay, new plan. – Uh-huh. – 好吧 新计划 – 嗯哼
[03:53] Captain Holt is here today. Holt警监今天会来
[03:55] Yes, genius! 对 聪明
[03:56] He loves us, 他爱我们
[03:57] and he’s got tons of sway in the department. 而且他在部门里的影响力可大了
[03:59] He’ll tell the Vulture to back down. 他会让秃鹰收手的
[04:00] Yeah, he’ll be all… 是啊 他会这样
[04:01] “Vulture, I must insist 秃鹰 我强烈要求
[04:03] that you desist.” 让你收手
[04:05] I really think this is gonna work. 我真的觉得会有用的
[04:07] Also, if you ever want to bust out 还有 如果你在家想
[04:09] that Holt impression at home, 模仿Holt
[04:10] I’d be okay with that. 我也不会反对
[04:12] Oh, okay. 噢 好吧
[04:14] Duly noted, super disturbing, 知道了 非常奇怪
[04:15] but I’m definitely gonna do it. 但我还是一定会做的
[04:18] Hey, G-spot! 嘿 G点儿
[04:20] Rosa, Charles, oh, I missed you guys so much. Rosa Charles 噢我太想念你们了
[04:23] Really, ’cause when you left, you made a pretty big deal 真的吗 因为在你走的时候 你郑重其事地
[04:24] of deleting us from your phone. 把我们的号码都删了
[04:26] Girl, that was just the showman in me. 妹子 那只是我擅长演技的一面
[04:28] PR is so boring. 公关部太无聊了
[04:29] I need some Nine-Nine drama, stat. 我要听99区的故事 现在
[04:32] I don’t think we’re that dramatic. 我不觉得我们那么有故事
[04:33] I’ve been gone one week. 我才离开一周
[04:34] Jake and Amy are dating, and they’ve killed a person. Jake和Amy在一起了 还杀了个人
[04:36] Come on, Charles. 快点 Charles
[04:38] You got to have something weird and tragic going on. 你肯定有什么奇怪又悲伤的故事
[04:40] Nope. 没有
[04:41] Not unless you call hooking up with a girl 除非你觉得在葬礼上勾搭了个女孩
[04:43] at a funeral “Weird and tragic.” 奇怪又悲伤
[04:44] Home run! 十足啊
[04:45] Her name is Lieutenant Singh. 她叫Singh中尉
[04:46] She’s super hot. 超级性感
[04:48] We were seated next to each other two funerals ago. 上上次葬礼的时候我们坐一起
[04:50] And there was hard eye contact all through “Danny Boy.” 一整首<丹尼少年>的时间我们都有强烈的眼神交流
[04:53] Last funeral, we made out in the parking lot. 上次葬礼 我们在停车场搞起来了
[04:55] This time… 这一次
[04:56] Something naughty this way comes. 将会有些淘气的事儿发生
[04:58] Ugh. What do you even know about this person? 恶 你了解她什么
[05:00] Oh, we don’t know anything about each other. 我们不需要了解对方任何事
[05:02] She says she likes that about us. 她说她喜欢这样
[05:03] It’s just pure animal attraction. 只是纯粹的动物原始欲望
[05:06] This is creepy and unlike you. 这很诡异而且不像你
[05:08] You even know her first name? 你连她叫什么都不知道吧
[05:09] Oh, um, do animals in the wild 哦 野外的动物们
[05:12] know each other’s names? 知道彼此的名字吗
[05:13] Look, all I know is, Charles Boyle is going to that funeral, 听着 我只知道 Charles Boyle会去那个葬礼
[05:17] and he’s going to put the “Bone” 而且他会把”小鸡”
[05:18] back in boneyard. 放进”鸡窝”里
[05:22] Hmm, strange to be on this side of the desk. 站在办公桌的这边还真不习惯
[05:23] Why? 为什么
[05:25] Oh, right, you used to work here. 哦对了 你以前在这儿工作
[05:26] You know I made a lot of improvements since you left? 你知道我在你走后做了很多改进吗
[05:28] I got a fridge for my protein shakes. 我有一个放蛋白质奶昔的冰箱
[05:30] I got a kettlebell station. 有个放壶铃的架子
[05:31] I got a wolf that I killed in Utah. 还有我在犹他州杀的一匹狼
[05:34] I’m fairly certain that’s a dog. 我很确定那是一只狗
[05:35] Yeah, it was dark. 啊 当时天黑嘛
[05:36] Sir, I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need you to sign these… 长官 抱歉打扰了 但是我需要您签一下这些
[05:39] Captain Holt, I didn’t realize you were here. Holt警监 我都不知道你来了
[05:41] Sergeant Jeffords, hello. Jeffords警长 你好
[05:42] Welcome back. 欢迎回来
[05:43] Hey, you know, I’m gonna stop you right there. 嘿 我必须制止你了
[05:45] Hugs are a form of inappropriate workplace touching. 拥抱是一种不适宜工作场所的接触行为
[05:47] Trust me, I’m very familiar 相信我 我很了解
[05:49] with the sexual harassment guidelines. 性骚扰准则
[05:51] That’ll be all. 你可以出去了
[05:53] Well, I won’t take up too much of your time. 我不会耽误你太多的时间
[05:55] Because the Nine-Nine was Captain Dozerman’s 因为99分区是Dozerman警监的
[05:57] last precinct, you will be seated 最后一个辖区 你会被安排
[05:59] at the front of the funeral. 坐到葬礼的前排
[06:00] I wanted to alert you that there’ll be press, 我想提醒你那里会有媒体
[06:02] cameras… 相机
[06:03] Whoa, whoa, whoa, cameras? 等等等等 相机
[06:03] Crap, nobody said anything about cameras. 靠 没人说过会有相机
[06:05] I got to rock the bells. 我得健下身
[06:09] There we go. 就是这样
[06:10] Oh, I noticed in the bullpen that you had changed 我在休息室里注意到你改变了
[06:11] the case numbering system. 案件编号系统
[06:13] I found, when I was commanding officer, that… 我发现 在我还是指挥官的时候
[06:14] I’m gonna stop you right there. 别再说下去了
[06:16] You’re not commanding officer anymore. 你已经不是指挥官了
[06:17] I was making a suggestion. 我只是在提建议
[06:18] Yeah, look, you did a lot of good for this place 是啊 听着 你在位的时候为这个地方
[06:20] while you were here, which is great for me, 做了很多贡献 这对我来说是好事
[06:21] because I get to take credit for it. 因为我可以拿来邀功
[06:22] But you’re not a real cop anymore. 但是你已经不是个真正的警察了
[06:25] You’re a desk jockey. 你是个坐办公室的
[06:26] This is my precinct now. 这里现在是我的警区
[06:27] And the sooner that you accept that, the better. 你越早接受这个事实 越好
[06:31] Yes, well, I know my way out. 是的 我知道怎么出去
[06:35] ‘Cause you used to work here. 因为你在这儿工作过
[06:36] I keep forgetting. 我老是忘记
[06:38] Everybody does. 每个人都会忘记的
[06:41] Well, well, if it isn’t Captain Raymond Jacob Holt. 哎呀呀 这不是Raymond Jacob Holt警监吗
[06:45] It’s great to see you back at the Nine-Nine, sir. 很高兴在99区见到您 长官
[06:47] Yes. 是啊
[06:47] There it is, that classic Jake Holt banter, 啊 又是经典的Jake和Holt嘴战
[06:50] zingers just flying around. 妙语连珠啊
[06:51] It’s like you never left. 就好像你从未离开过
[06:52] No, I most definitely left. 不 我的确离开了
[06:54] Okay. 好吧
[06:56] Well, I know how much you love hot goss, 我知道你有多喜欢热辣的八卦
[06:58] so you probably heard Amy and I have been dating. 所以你大概听说了Amy和我最近在约会
[07:00] And we would love your approval. 得到您的批准我们会很高兴
[07:02] No. 才没有
[07:02] But that’s not what this is about. 但那不是重点
[07:04] It sure is not. 当然不是
[07:05] Sir, the Vulture is out of control. 长官 那个秃鹰已经疯了
[07:06] All right, he told me if I don’t dump Amy, 他告诉我如果我不甩了Amy
[07:08] he’s gonna demote me. 他就要给我降级
[07:09] You got to help us. 你得帮帮我们
[07:09] Let me stop you right there, Peralta. 别说了 Peralta
[07:11] I’m not the Chief of Detectives. 我不是探长
[07:12] I’m not the Vulture’s boss. 更不是秃鹰的上司
[07:13] I’m just some guy in PR. 我只是一个公关人员
[07:15] – But we thought… – I can’t save your ass. – 但是我们以为 – 我不能救你们的小命
[07:17] I don’t work here anymore. 我已经不在这儿工作了
[07:18] And the sooner you accept that, 你们越早接受这个现实
[07:21] the better. 越好
[07:25] Well, looks like somebody’s got a bad case 看起来某人有很严重的
[07:28] of the funeral crankies. 葬礼躁郁症嘛
[07:32] Okay, guys, 好了 伙计们
[07:33] I know Captain Dozerman was a nightmare 我知道Dozerman警监是个噩梦
[07:35] and that none of us liked him. 我们没人喜欢他
[07:36] But I’m gonna need all of you to pretend like you’re sad. 但是我需要你们所有人装作自己很伤心
[07:39] Everyone make a sad face. 大家来做个哭脸
[07:41] Scully, you are nailing it! Scully 你做的太棒了
[07:43] My wife just texted. She’s leaving me. 我老婆刚给我发短信 她要离开我
[07:45] Good, use it. 很好 即时利用
[07:46] Now, anyone seen Captain Holt? 有人看到Holt警监了吗
[07:47] He seemed a little down when he came in. 他进来的时候好像有点低落
[07:49] Yeah, he let me choose the music 是啊 在过来的路上
[07:50] on the way over here, which leads me to believe 他让我选音乐 这让我相信
[07:52] he’s given up on life. 他已经放弃生命了
[07:54] I got to go find him. 我得去找他
[07:55] Now, be respectful and grieve your asses off. 赶紧尊重死者 给我用力地哀悼
[07:58] I don’t know why this is happening. 我不知道为什么会发生这种事
[07:59] Scully, I love it! Scully 太赞了
[08:00] Everyone follow his lead. 大家向他学习
[08:04] So what are we gonna do about the Vulture? 所以我们要怎么对付那个秃鹰
[08:06] I’ve got a new plan. Pretend like we’re talking. 我有个新计划 装作我们在谈话
[08:08] – We are talking. – Exactly. – 我们是在谈话啊 – 很好
[08:09] It’s working already. 计划已经奏效了
[08:10] Now I’m going to coolly 现在我要酷酷地
[08:11] run my hands through my hair. 用手梳梳头
[08:13] Look where my elbow’s pointing. 看我的手肘在指哪里
[08:14] Davis Garmin It’s Davis Garmin,
[08:15] Chief of Detectives. 他是探长
[08:17] Holt said he could overrule the Vulture. Holt说他能否决秃鹰
[08:18] Exactly. 没错
[08:19] The only question now is, will he believe us? 唯一的问题是 他会相信我们吗
[08:21] Yes, ’cause we’re gonna take a page 会的 因为我们要从秃鹰的书里
[08:23] from the Vulture’s book. 撕下一页(效仿秃鹰的手段)
[08:24] – “The Big Book of Small Butts”? – What? – “大书小屁股” – 什么
[08:26] It’s the only thing I’ve ever seen him read. 那是我唯一见到他读的书
[08:27] No, we’re gonna secretly record the Vulture 不 我们要秘密地录下秃鹰
[08:29] telling you to dump me. 命令你甩了我
[08:30] Then we’ll play it for Chief Garmin. 然后我们把它放给Garmin探长听
[08:32] Then… 再然后
[08:33] We’re gonna totally 我们就会
[08:34] have sex on top of each other. 在彼此身上做爱
[08:36] You get to keep your job. 你就能保住你的工作
[08:37] Yes, that. 是啊 那件事
[08:41] Ooh, Charles, your jump-off is here. 噢 Charles 你的炮友来了
[08:43] Hello, Detective. 你好 警探
[08:44] Hello, Lieutenant. 你好 中尉
[08:45] Real tragic about the captain. 警监的事情真是个悲剧啊
[08:47] Yes, real tragic. 是啊 很悲剧
[08:49] I like the way your butt looks today. 我喜欢你屁股今天的样子
[08:50] I’ve been doing lunges in the shower. 我有在洗澡的时候跨步下蹲
[08:52] Well, this got upsetting real quick. 这转折来得也太突然了
[08:54] I want to live in this moment forever. 我想永远活在这个时刻里
[08:56] I got us a motel room across the street. 我在街对面订了个房间
[08:58] Meet me there in 15 minutes. 15分钟后在那儿见我
[09:02] I’ll meet you, all right. 好的 到时候见
[09:03] M-e-a-t. 骚浪贱的”贱”
[09:08] Still think it’s creepy? 还觉得这很诡异吗
[09:10] Yes. 是的
[09:11] Charles, it is not like you to have sex Charles 你不像是那种
[09:13] with a total stranger. 会和陌生人上床的人
[09:15] Really, tell that to me in an hour 是吗 再过一个小时等我们
[09:16] when we’ve had sex 23 times. 大战二十三回合之后再告诉我吧
[09:20] 关闭 私人聚会
[09:22] There you are. 你在这儿啊
[09:24] You okay, sir? 你还好吗 长官
[09:25] No. 不好
[09:26] Until this morning, some small part of me still believed 直到今天上午 我还有一点点相信
[09:29] I would be captain of the Nine-Nine again. 我还会成为99区的警监
[09:31] What a fool I was. 我真是个傻瓜
[09:32] I should never have returned. 我就不该回来
[09:34] It’s like visiting your childhood home 这就好像回到你儿时的家
[09:36] and seeing it’s been replaced by a denim pants store. 结果发现那儿已经变成了一家牛仔裤店
[09:42] Whoa, whoa, whoa! 喔喔喔
[09:45] Slow down, sir. 慢点喝 长官
[09:47] You didn’t even stop and sniff the bouquet. 你都没有停下来闻一闻酒香
[09:49] You always sniff the bouquet. 你一直都会闻酒香的
[09:51] Maybe the old Holt did. 也许以前的Holt会
[09:52] But the new Holt chugs Beaujolais 但是现在的Holt能毫不在意地
[09:54] from a Burgundy glass without a care. 把勃艮第的杯子里的博若莱葡萄酒干掉
[09:57] Oh, it’s a Sauternes glass. 哦 是索甸酒的杯子
[09:59] Look, the alcohol has rendered me a simpleton. 你看 酒精已经把我变成一个笨蛋了
[10:03] Maybe you should just call it a day. 也许你该回去了
[10:05] I can’t. 我不能
[10:06] I’ve been asked to deliver a toast here after the funeral, 我被邀请在葬礼之后说一篇祝酒词
[10:09] a message of hope. 传达希望
[10:12] This is what I have so far. 这是我目前写好的
[10:19] “Pain…” 痛苦
[10:24] That’s it. 就这样
[10:26] One tweak… 稍微改动一下吧
[10:27] maybe you should lose the word “Pain” 别用痛苦这个词
[10:29] and then get in a cab and go home. 然后打辆车回家
[10:31] Maybe I will. 也许我会的
[10:33] But first, you’re gonna have one drink with me, Sergeant. 但首先你得和我喝一杯 警长
[10:37] For old times’ sake? 看在过去的情份上 好吗
[10:38] – One drink, and then we go. – One drink. – 就一杯 然后我们就走 – 就一杯
[10:45] My tolerance has really changed since I had kids! 自从有了孩子后 我的酒量都变了
[10:57] Hey, Captain. 嘿 警监
[10:59] I was looking for you inside. 我刚在里面找你呢
[11:01] One thing I won’t do is fart in church. 我不能在教堂里放屁
[11:03] This is God’s house. 这是上帝的房子
[11:04] Oh. 哦
[11:06] Respectful. 敬佩
[11:08] So listen, remember when you said to me 你还记得你跟我讲过
[11:09] that I have to dump Santiago 叫我甩了Santiago
[11:12] or else you’re gonna bust me down to beat cop? 不然你就让我降级做巡警吗
[11:14] What I remember, Jake, is you pretending to be my bro 我记得的版本是 Jake你假装是我的兄弟
[11:16] and me being like, “I’m onto you, dillweed. 而我的反应是 我可盯上你了 蠢货
[11:22] Oh, uh, sorry, could you say that one more time? 呃抱歉 你能再讲一遍吗
[11:25] I couldn’t hear you over the bagpipes. 风笛太响了我听不见你说了什么
[11:29] Ugh, one second. 呃等等
[11:30] Excuse me, could you stop playing that? 抱歉 你能别吹了吗
[11:32] Just trying to have a conversation. 我们这儿在谈事情
[11:33] I’m warming up, man. Sorry. 我在热身呢 兄弟 抱歉
[11:35] Yeah, I know. We just need two minutes. 我知道 我们只要两分钟就行
[11:36] No can do. 做不到啊
[11:38] The funeral’s about to start. 葬礼就要开始了
[11:39] Everyone wants to hear me honk, so… 大家都想听我吹 所以
[11:41] Do you really need to warm up, though? 但是你真的需要热身吗
[11:42] I mean, you’re just gonna make a terrible wall of sound. 反正你吹出来都会很糟糕的
[11:44] First of all, that’s offensive to me as half Scottish. 首先 我作为苏格兰混血 我觉得这很冒犯我
[11:46] Second of all, you think you could do better? 其次 你觉得你能吹得比我好吗
[11:50] Blow my bag. 吹吹看我的风笛
[11:51] Look, we just need a couple of minutes to chat. 听着 我们只是需要几分钟聊聊天
[11:53] That’s it. 就这样
[11:54] I’m not gonna stop playing until you blow it. 你不吹一下我是不会停的
[11:55] All right, just give it to me. 好吧 给我就是了
[11:57] All right? 好了吧
[11:59] Prepare to hear me play the bagpipes perfectly. 准备好听我完美的演奏吧
[12:00] Okay. 好啊
[12:04] Oh, my God. 我的天
[12:05] Point proven. 很好听吧
[12:06] Yeah, I think I’ve heard just about enough 我觉得我听够了
[12:07] of this catfight. 你们俩吵架
[12:08] I’m out. 我走了
[12:09] Wait, Captain! Sir! 等等 警监
[12:12] Your boyfriend… sorry, your ex-boyfriend is pathetic. 你男朋友 对不起 是你的前男友真可悲
[12:16] You should be glad that I ordered him to dump you. 你应该庆幸我叫他甩了你
[12:19] Swish, Kobe. 空心入网 科比附体
[12:24] Got it. 录下来了
[12:25] Yes! You’re amazing! 太好了 你真棒
[12:33] That was “We Are the Champions.” 我刚刚吹的是<我们是冠军>
[12:36] Ugh, it’s impossible to find Garmin 呃 这么多人在这哀悼
[12:38] with everybody mourning all over the place. 根本找不到Garmin
[12:40] It’s like they have no respect for our sneaky plans. 就好像他们一点都不尊重我们的卑鄙计划一样
[12:42] I know. 就是啊
[12:43] Oh, look, there he is. 看 他在那儿
[12:45] Oh, great. 太好了
[12:46] Hi there. 你好啊
[12:47] Sorry, this area is reserved 对不起 这片区域是为
[12:49] for close personal friends of the deceased. 死者的至亲朋友保留的
[12:50] Ah, well, that is us. 我们就是
[12:52] Dozerman and I were pretty much besties. Dozerman和我几乎是最好的朋友
[12:54] Went on an annual fishing trip together. 我们一起去过年度钓鱼之旅
[12:55] Cayuga Lake, caught a lot of Coho salmon. 在卡尤加湖钓了许多银鲑鱼
[12:58] We are both so bummed that he’s dead. 我们对他的去世表示很难过
[13:00] Super bummed. 超级难过
[13:01] Oh, right on. Come in. 好吧 进来吧
[13:04] Thanks. 谢谢
[13:05] Blessings to you. 祝福你啊
[13:07] – Blessings? – I don’t know. – 你说的什么 – 我不知道
[13:08] It’s my first time in a church. 我第一次来教堂
[13:09] All right, how did you do that? 说吧 你怎么做到的
[13:10] Simple detective work. 简单的侦查工作
[13:12] There was a floral arrangement up front with a picture 前面的花圈里有张照片
[13:13] of Dozerman and 30 of his friends holding a big fish. 照片里Dozerman和30个他的朋友举着一条大鱼
[13:16] Cayuga Lake, I pulled straight from the guest book. 卡尤加湖是我从来宾签到本里看到的
[13:18] And Coho salmon? 那银鲑鱼呢
[13:19] Well, that’s just something I know about 那是我作为一个正常人
[13:20] from being a man of the world. 本来就知道的
[13:21] Our special today is Coho salmon on a… 我们今天的特色菜是银鲑鱼和
[13:23] Sounds disgusting. 听起来真恶心
[13:24] Do you have chicken fingers? 你们有鸡爪吗
[13:26] – Impressed? – Mm-hmm. – 佩服我吧 – 嗯哼
[13:27] And horrified by your eating habits. 也被你的饮食习惯吓到了
[13:29] Well, if I’m so unhealthy, 如果我这么不健康的话
[13:30] how come I never go to the bathroom? 我怎么从来不上厕所呢
[13:32] – Okay, let’s get to Garmin. – Yeah. – 好了 我们去找Garmin – 好
[13:36] Hi, I’m Margaret Dozerman. 你们好 我是Margaret Dozerman
[13:38] How did you know my husband? 你们和我丈夫是怎么认识的
[13:39] Oh, Mrs. Dozerman, your husband was a great man. Dozerman夫人 你的丈夫是个很了不起的人
[13:42] Some of my fondest memories of him 我关于他一些最美好的回忆
[13:44] were on our fishing trips. 就是在我们的钓鱼之旅时
[13:45] You went on those trips? 你参加那些旅行吗
[13:47] I did, indeed. 我参加 真的
[13:48] They called me “The Coho King.” 他们都叫我”银鲑鱼之王”
[13:50] Pretty much single-handedly organized those things myself. 这些事情基本上都是我一手操办的
[13:52] So you were the one who brought all the prostitutes? 就是你带去那些妓女的吗
[13:56] Uh… 呃
[14:00] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Can we slow down? 哇哦 我们能慢慢来吗
[14:01] Why? Are you not into this? 为什么 你不喜欢这样吗
[14:02] No, no, no. 不不不
[14:04] My friends are just in my head. 我想到了我的朋友们
[14:06] They think it’s weird 他们觉得我们对彼此一无所知
[14:08] that we don’t know anything about each other. 就这么做有点诡异
[14:09] I think it’s hot. 我觉得这很让人兴奋
[14:11] Totally, I’m glad we’re not interested in each other 那是 我们作为人类对彼此完全不感兴趣
[14:13] as human beings. 这让我很高兴
[14:16] Oh, how about if you tell me things about yourself 你告诉我关于你的事情
[14:19] and then I tell you how little I care about them? 然后我告诉你我多不在乎怎么样
[14:22] Okay. 好啊
[14:23] Okay, here goes. 开始了
[14:25] I’m an only child. 我是个独生女
[14:26] – Not interested. – I was born in Delaware. – 不感兴趣 – 我出生在特拉华州
[14:28] Who even asked you? 谁问你了
[14:29] I like this. 我喜欢这样
[14:31] I don’t care what you like. 我不在乎你喜欢什么
[14:35] But maybe you could tell me one more thing. 但是也许你能再告诉我一件事
[14:37] She’s a vegan! 她是个素食主义者
[14:39] What is going on? 发生什么了
[14:41] You’re right. I couldn’t help myself. 你们说得对 我还是没忍住
[14:43] I wanted to know about her. 我想了解她
[14:44] And I got what I deserved… 我得到了我该得的
[14:45] a vegan, a gluten-free vegan! 一个素食主义者 一个无谷蛋白素食主义者
[14:49] Charles, you need to calm down. Charles 你要冷静
[14:51] No. You called it, Rosa. 不 你说对了 Rosa
[14:53] So go ahead. Laugh at me! 你继续吧 嘲笑我
[14:54] Laugh! 笑啊
[14:55] Laugh it up! 笑起来
[14:57] Can I wait till after the funeral? 我能等葬礼结束再笑吗
[14:58] Shh! 嘘
[15:02] Of course you can. 当然可以
[15:04] Sir, my life stinks. 警监 我的生活糟透了
[15:06] Sharon’s on bed rest. Sharon卧床休息
[15:08] My favorite mango yogurt got discontinued. 我最喜欢的芒果酸奶停止生产了
[15:12] And my kids think their preschool teacher’s 我的孩子们觉得她们的幼儿教师
[15:14] a stupidface. 是个蠢货
[15:17] Everyone I work with is a stupidface. 我的同事都是蠢货
[15:20] Especially Bryce. 特别是Bryce
[15:22] – Sir? – Hmm? – 警监 – 嗯
[15:23] – Sir? – Hmm? – 警监 – 嗯
[15:24] – Sir? – Hmm? – 警监 – 嗯
[15:26] Can I be honest? 我能讲实话吗
[15:27] Precinct’s not the same without you. 你走之后 我们的片区就变了样
[15:29] The Vulture’s the worst. 秃鹰是最坏的
[15:31] My mango yogurt… 我的芒果酸奶
[15:33] Yes, you already mentioned the yogurt. 你已经讲过你的酸奶了
[15:34] ‘Cause it’s important! 因为它很重要
[15:36] When I saw you in the office this morning, 当我今早在办公室看见你的时候
[15:39] I wanted to give you the biggest hug. 我想给你一个最大的拥抱
[15:42] But the Vulture told you not to, 但是秃鹰告诉你不行
[15:43] and you had to listen. 你不得不听命
[15:44] He’s your captain now, Terry. 现在他是你的警监了 Terry
[15:46] I hate going to work and you’re not there. 我讨厌去上班而你不在的感觉
[15:49] Everything is garbage. 一切都是垃圾
[15:51] Hmm. “Everything is garbage.” 嗯 “一切都是垃圾”
[15:55] I should put that in my message of hope. 我应该把这句话写进我的希望致辞里
[15:57] That’s a really good idea! 这真是个好主意
[15:59] It took my husband and me years of counseling 为了克服你们那些密林狂欢
[16:02] to get over those little backwood orgies of yours. 我和我丈夫进行了多年的婚姻咨询
[16:05] He had sex with five prostitutes in one weekend. 他一个周末和五个妓女发生关系
[16:06] – Ugh! – That’s bananas! – 呃 – 那真是疯狂
[16:08] I had no idea. 我毫不知情啊
[16:09] I was probably too busy praying. 我可能在忙于参加礼拜吧
[16:10] You said you planned the trips. 你说是你策划了那些旅行
[16:12] – Yeah, I did say that. – Called yourself the Coho King. – 我是这么说了 – 还自称银鲑鱼之王
[16:15] All right, look. 好吧 听着
[16:16] I’m not the Coho King. 我不是什么银鲑鱼之王
[16:18] My name is Jake. 我叫Jake
[16:19] And your husband was only my captain 而你的丈夫只当了我
[16:20] for, like, a day. 差不多一天的上司
[16:21] Wait a second. 等一下
[16:22] Are you the Jake that killed him? 你就是那个害死他的Jake吗
[16:26] No, I’m prostitute Jake. 不是 我是那个堕落的Jake
[16:28] I love prostitutes. 我爱死妓女们了
[16:29] You need to go. 你该走了
[16:30] You should leave right now. 你现在就该离开
[16:32] You need to leave right now. 你现在必须给我离开
[16:33] It’s okay, Margaret. Come on. 没事的 Margaret 来吧
[16:34] Oh, Chief Garmin, wait, I just… 哦 Garmin局长 请稍等 我只是
[16:36] need to play you one quick recording of my boss. 想给你放放我上司的一段小录音
[16:40] You recorded me? 你录下了我的话
[16:41] That’s not cool, Jake. 这可不酷啊 Jake
[16:43] Well, we were just taking a page out of your book. 我们只是以其人之道 还治其人之身
[16:45] Yeah? What are you gonna do next, huh? 是吗 那你接下来要做什么呢
[16:46] Are you gonna start wearing leather bracelets, hmm? 接着你就要戴上皮手链了吗
[16:48] Good luck pulling off that chunky-B 祝你能顺利地用那细瘦的
[16:49] with those skinny little girl wrists of yours. 娘们手腕来撕下你的警徽
[16:51] Congratulations. 恭喜你
[16:52] You’re no longer a detective. 你已经不再是警探了
[16:54] You’re a beat cop again. 你现在又是一名巡警了
[16:56] I just crushed your dreams. 我刚刚撕碎了你的梦想
[17:02] Okay, I know things seem really bad right now, 好吧 我知道事情看上去很糟糕
[17:04] but we just need a minute to think. 但我们只需要一点时间来考虑
[17:09] Come on, man! 拜托 老兄
[17:14] Okay, so the Vulture has your phone. 那么 秃鹰拿走了你的手机
[17:16] But new plan… 但新计划是
[17:18] Jake, we’ve had lots of plans, Jake 我们已经做了不少计划了
[17:19] and none of them have worked. 但没有一个奏效的
[17:20] Yeah, but this is a good one. 的确 但这个是个好主意
[17:22] The new plan is… No plan. 新计划就是 没有计划
[17:24] We wing it! 我们自由发挥
[17:25] Probably won’t work, but I said it 也许没用 但我说起来
[17:26] with a lot of confidence. 感觉很有信心啊
[17:27] Jake, you got demoted. Jake 你被降职了
[17:29] We said this relationship wasn’t gonna get 我们说过这段关系不能
[17:30] in the way of our careers, and it has. 妨碍你我前途的 但它碍事了
[17:32] So what? We’ll figure it out. 那又怎样 我们会想出办法的
[17:34] I’ll make my way back to detective. 我会重新回到警探的位置
[17:35] Or maybe you won’t. 也许你做不到
[17:37] I’m not gonna let you throw away your dream job. 我不能让你丢掉你理想的工作
[17:39] Amy, this is good. Amy 我们相处得很好啊
[17:41] This is a six-day relationship. 这只是段六日情而已
[17:42] We don’t know what it is. 我们还不知道会怎样
[17:45] And now for a message of hope. 现在 给大家献上我的希望致辞
[17:46] Ah, a message of hope, right on time. 啊 希望致辞 来得正是时候
[17:49] Everything is garbage. 一切都是垃圾
[17:51] Oh, no. 完了
[17:52] You find something you care about, 你找到你所珍爱的东西
[17:53] and it’s taken from you… 接着它们就被人夺走
[17:55] your colleague, 你的同事
[17:56] your dream job, 你理想的工作
[17:59] your mango yogurt. 你的芒果酸奶
[18:00] Whoo! 喔
[18:01] Never love anything. 永远别爱上任何东西
[18:08] That’s the lesson. 这就是教训
[18:10] To Captain Dozerman. 敬Dozerman警监
[18:11] Captain Dozerman. 敬Dozerman警监
[18:12] Thank you, sir. 谢谢你
[18:13] I’ll take it from here. Very poetic. 太有诗意了 接下来交给我吧
[18:16] If I might offer a counter-toast of sorts. 请允许我说一段完全相反的致辞
[18:19] Captain Dozerman and I, 我想说 Dozerman警监和我
[18:21] we weren’t together for very long. 我们并未共事太长时间
[18:23] In fact, as coworkers, 实际上 作为同事
[18:25] our relationship was only six days. 我们的关系仅仅持续了六天
[18:28] But that’s not nothing. 但那并非毫无意义
[18:29] It was long enough for me to know 这时间长到足够我去发现
[18:31] that we had something special. 我们之间有特别的联系
[18:32] And sure, there may be obstacles. 当然了 这其中有些障碍
[18:34] Him having passed away, for example. 比如说 他去世了
[18:38] But I’m not giving up on us. 但我并不会放弃我们的关系
[18:40] And I don’t care if I get demoted. 我不在乎是不是被降职
[18:42] I just care about being with you… 我在乎的只是和你在一起
[18:47] Captain Dozerman, Dozerman警监
[18:50] an adult man 一个成年男人
[18:51] who has passed into the nether world. 他已经去了阴间
[18:53] Move over, Peralta! 让开点 Peralta
[18:55] Move over! 让开
[18:57] And if I may do a third toast. 请允许我献上第三段致辞
[19:00] It’ll be focused primarily on the mango yogurt. 这段致辞的主要内容是芒果酸奶
[19:06] Don’t boo me! 别嘘我
[19:07] I lost something important too, shoot. 我也失去了重要的东西好吗
[19:12] Thought I might find you here. 就知道会在这里找到你
[19:14] So not a big fan of my speech, huh? 不喜欢我的致辞吗
[19:17] No, I loved it. 不 我很喜欢
[19:19] I mean, I wish it hadn’t been at a wake. 我是说 如果不是在守丧时
[19:21] And I wish you hadn’t kept referring to me 如果不把我比作你去世的上司
[19:22] as your dead boss. 就更好了
[19:23] Yeah, it pretty much sucked butt 那确实很扫兴
[19:25] but still was somehow the best of the three toasts. 但不论如何那都是三段致辞里最棒的
[19:27] Hmm. 嗯
[19:28] Look, I don’t want to break up. 听着 我不想分手
[19:30] But I don’t want to get demoted either. 但我也不想被降职
[19:31] I just don’t know what to do. 我只是不知道该怎么办
[19:33] I’m all out of plans. 我所有计划都用光了
[19:34] I have one. 我倒是有一个
[19:36] Holt saves your ass. 让Holt来拯救你
[19:38] Captain. 警监
[19:39] I was moved by your speech, Peralta. 我为你的致辞而动容 Peralta
[19:40] Thank you, sir. That’s very nice of you to say. 谢谢你警监 听到你这么说真好
[19:42] – The syntax was problematic. – Less nice. – 就是语法有点问题 – 没那么好了
[19:44] And your vocabulary is a true indictment 而你的词汇使用简直是对于
[19:46] of the public school system. 公立学校教育系统的侮辱
[19:47] Seems like you’re just slamming me now. 现在听起来你只是在打我的脸
[19:48] But the fact that you’re not willing to give up 但你不愿屈服于困境的事实
[19:50] in the face of adversity is inspiring. 非常振奋人心
[19:52] I love the Nine-Nine, 我爱99区
[19:53] and I’m not gonna turn my back on the squad. 我是不会背弃我的警队的
[19:56] So I fixed your problem with the Vulture. 所以我搞定了你和秃鹰的矛盾
[19:58] – Really? – I may just be a guy in PR. – 真的吗 – 我也许只是个搞公关的
[20:00] But what does the Vulture love more than anything? 但秃鹰最爱的是什么呢
[20:03] Garbage Pail Kids? 垃圾桶娃娃
[20:04] No. Publicity. 不 是公众形象
[20:06] Captain Pembroke, how would you like Pembroke警监 你想让你的脸
[20:07] your face on the NYPD website? 出现在纽约警察局官网上吗
[20:09] Really? 真的吗
[20:10] Yes! Yes! 当然 当然
[20:12] In exchange for media attention, 作为对媒体关注度的交换
[20:13] the Vulture will not bust you down 秃鹰既不会降你的职
[20:14] or stand in the way of you two dating. 也不会阻碍你们俩约会了
[20:16] Sir, I don’t know how to thank you. 警监 我真不知道怎么感谢你
[20:18] Anything for the Nine-Nine. 为了99区 在所不辞
[20:20] Thank you, sir. 谢谢你 警监
[20:22] He totally approves of us. 他完全支持我们在一起
[20:24] Whatcha doing there, Boyle? 你在这干嘛呢 Boyle
[20:27] Trying to get drunk enough to have sexual intercourse 试着喝得烂醉 好去和一个
[20:29] with a vegan. 素食者滚床单
[20:30] Why can’t I just think with my junk 我怎么就不能跟个现代男人一样
[20:32] like a modern man? 只用下半身思考呢
[20:33] Why do you want to do that? 为什么你要这么做呢
[20:35] I got divorced, and I was crushed. 我离过婚 生活支离破碎
[20:37] My fiance left. I cried for weeks. 我的未婚妻逃婚 我哭了好几周
[20:39] My only relationship that wasn’t 我唯一一段在终结时
[20:41] totally devastating when it ended 没完全毁灭的恋爱关系就是
[20:42] was my casual sex carnival with Gina. 和Gina一起时的性爱狂欢
[20:44] Yeah, okay, 好吧
[20:45] But which of those relationships 但哪段关系
[20:47] made you happiest before it ended? 在其结束前让你觉得最快乐
[20:50] My marriage. Vivian. 我的婚姻 以及Vivian
[20:51] Yeah, because you connect with them emotionally, 是的 因为你和她们有情感上的联系
[20:53] something we did not do 那是我们之间所没有的
[20:55] because I’m a higher level of being, 因为我是个更高级的生物
[20:57] like Her from the movie “Her.” 就像是<她>电影里的人工智能女主
[20:59] Dude, you can’t go through life trying not to get hurt. 老兄 你不可能活一辈子却不受伤
[21:01] You should try to be happy. 你应该试着开心点
[21:03] So you think I should look for someone 所以你觉得我应该去找个
[21:04] I can have emotional intercourse with. 能够和我情感上交媾的人
[21:06] I wish you hadn’t said it like that, but yeah. 我真希望你没那么说 但的确如此
[21:08] And I should start right here at this funeral. 我应该从这场丧礼开始
[21:10] I’d probably wait. 换我就会再等等
[21:11] Nope, no time to lose. 不 没时间可浪费了
[21:12] Put on your sunglasses. 戴上你的太阳镜
[21:14] I need to see if there’s anything in my teeth. 我得看看我牙缝间有没有东西
[21:15] Ugh. 呃
[21:19] Oh, yeah. 很好
[21:21] Charles Boyle is ready for love. Charles Boyle准备好去谈恋爱了
[21:26] Well, never wearing these again. 我再也不要戴这玩意儿了
神烦警探

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