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神烦警探(Brooklyn Nine-Nine)第3季第1集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 神烦警探(Brooklyn Nine-Nine)第3季第1集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
时间 英文 中文
[00:01] I’m being transferred to the public relations office. 我要被调去公共关系办公室了
[00:04] I am leaving the Nine-Nine effective immediately. 我将马上离开99区
[00:18] Hello. I’m your new commanding officer, 大家好 我是你们新上任的指挥官
[00:19] Captain Seth Dozerman. Seth Dozerman 警监
[00:21] My motto is simple: Efficiency, efficiency, efficiency. 我的格言很简单 效率 效率 效率
[00:24] Could probably just say it once. 其实说一次就可以了
[00:26] Are you making fun of my stutter? 你在嘲笑我的口吃吗
[00:27] Oh, uh… 啊 这样啊
[00:28] Tricked you. I don’t have a stutter. 骗到你了吧 我没有口吃
[00:29] Boom, I’ve already established my authority 瞧 我已经通过我不一般的幽默感
[00:31] through my amazing sense of humor. 建立起了威信
[00:32] Well done, sir. 很棒 先生
[00:34] Welcome to the Nine-Nine. 欢迎来到99区
[00:36] I’m Sergeant Terry Jeffords. 我是Terry Jeffords警长
[00:37] And I’m not interested. 不感兴趣
[00:38] I have no use for people 我不需要用人
[00:40] I find people weird and confusing. 我觉得人类奇怪又令我困惑
[00:42] I live my life by numbers. 生活中我只会用到数字
[00:43] You see this watch? 看到这只手表了吗
[00:44] It tells me how many calories I burn at any time. 它可以随时告诉我消耗的卡路里数
[00:46] Question, how many calories do you think I burned 你们觉得我从那里走到那里
[00:48] walking from there to there? 消耗了多少卡路里
[00:49] You, female closest to me. 离我近的女的 你来说
[00:50] Oh, uh, three? 呃 呃 3
[00:53] Three? Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! 3吗 啊哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
[00:56] Try 0.8, numbnuts. 是0.8 傻子
[00:58] I have made promises to my superiors 我已经向上级做出了
[01:00] that I most certainly cannot keep. 我不能实现的保证
[01:01] That’s why I need you idiots to work twice as hard. 所以我需要你们这些蠢子们加倍努力地工作
[01:04] No, no, strike that. Four times as hard. 不不 我重说 加加倍地努力
[01:06] No, no, no, strike that. 不不不 我再重说
[01:08] I need you morons to work eight times harder 我需要你们这些白痴比起你们以前
[01:11] than you’ve ever worked in your entire life! 任何时候都加加加倍地努力
[01:14] I’m having a heart attack. 我心脏病犯了
[01:15] Yeah, I’m having a heart attack. 是的 心脏病犯了
[01:17] Get back to work. 回去工作吧
[01:19] Get a doctor! 快叫医生
[01:41] Yeah, I’m just gonna make some copies in here. 我就在这儿复印些东西
[01:44] Perfect cover. Nailed it. 完美的掩护 漂亮
[01:46] So apparently, the new captain survived, 新警监抢救过来了
[01:49] and his heart attack… not the craziest thing 还有他的心脏病 并不是今天发生在警局里
[01:51] that happened at the precinct today. 最疯狂的事情
[01:53] We kissed, like, three hours ago. 我们三小时前接吻了
[01:56] Yes, we did kiss each other for reals. 是的 我们确实接吻了 真接了
[02:00] For reals, reals. 真的 接了
[02:02] Listen. 听着
[02:02] I know you said you don’t want to date cops, 我知道你之前说你不想跟警察约会
[02:04] but I really like you. 但我真的很喜欢你
[02:06] I like you too. 我也喜欢你
[02:08] Good. 那好啊
[02:10] But what if we start dating 但万一我们开始约会了
[02:11] and it makes things weird at work? 然后一起工作就变得很尴尬怎么办
[02:12] So let’s just keep it light and breezy, 那我们就保持轻松愉快
[02:16] see where it goes. 看看会发展成什么样
[02:17] Totally. Yeah. 行 很好
[02:18] So how do we keep it light and breezy? 所以怎么保持轻松愉快呢
[02:21] I know. A comprehensive set of rules. 我知道了 一套综合规则
[02:24] How am I attracted to you? 我怎么会迷上你的
[02:25] Doesn’t matter. I am. Go. 不重要 反正迷上了 说吧
[02:26] Rule one, let’s not tell anyone 第一条 不告诉任何人
[02:28] so we can figure out what this is first. 先让我们自己弄清楚我们的状态
[02:30] Smort. Rule number two, 机智 第二条
[02:31] let’s not put labels on it. 我们不要给关系定性
[02:32] We’re not boyfriend and girlfriend; 我们不是男女朋友关系
[02:33] We’re just “Mrmmzeep” And “Jinglebin.” 我们只是 说不清的关系
[02:36] Great. Rule number three, 很好 第三条
[02:38] let’s not have sex right away. 咱们先不上床
[02:40] Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool… 行 行 行行行行行
[02:43] No doubt, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt. 当然 当然 当然当然
[02:44] Good rule. No sex, good rule. 这条好 不上床 说的好
[02:46] So should we go out tonight? 我们今晚出去玩吗
[02:48] Yeah, totally. 行 当然
[02:50] Maybe 8:00, maybe 9:00. Doesn’t matter. 8点也行 9点也行 无所谓
[02:51] We’re light and breezy. 我们轻松点
[02:52] Totally light and breezy. 当然非常轻松愉快
[02:54] No! 不
[02:56] Briefing room. 简报室
[02:57] Five minutes. 5分钟之后到
[02:59] Wow, very chill. 哇 真是放松
[03:05] Wuntch Wuntch.
[03:06] Hello, Raymond. 你好 Raymond
[03:08] You’re looking old and sickly. 你看起来又老又弱
[03:10] So nice of you to greet us, Madeline. 你能来迎接我们真好 Madeline
[03:12] I thought surely you’d still be crushed under that house 我以为你还被压在
[03:14] in Munchkinland. Munchkinland的房子下面呢
[03:15] Sticks and stones, Raymond. 你说这话伤不到我(直译为棍棒与石头)
[03:17] Describing your breakfast? 那是什么 你的早餐吗
[03:18] I came out as a gay cop in the 1980s, 我20世纪80年代就以同性恋警察的身份出柜了
[03:20] so it’s gonna take more than reassigning me 所以只是把我调职还不至于
[03:22] to break my spirit. 摧毁我的意志
[03:24] I’ll turn this place around just like I did the Nine-Nine. 我会把这里像对99区一样整顿好的
[03:26] I doubt that. 我不信
[03:28] Everyone, this is your new commanding officer, 各位 这是你们的新指挥官
[03:31] Raymond Holt Raymond Holt.
[03:32] He’s going to be with you for a long, long time. 他会跟你们一起工作很久 很久的
[03:34] Thank you, Chief Wuntch. 谢谢 Wuntch局长
[03:35] I’m excited to be back. 能回来我很高兴
[03:37] I look forward to doing meaningful work 我很期望能完成一些有意义的工作
[03:39] beginning with my eight-point plan for community engagement. 从我的八点团队协定条例开始
[03:42] Wonderful. 很好
[03:44] But no new initiatives 但在你完成正在进行的
[03:45] until you finish the meaningful work 有意义的工作前
[03:47] that’s already in progress here. 不能定新的协议
[03:48] Could be a while, Raymond. 可能要花些时间哦 Raymond
[03:49] They’re trying to come up with a name 他们打算给纽约警署的新鸽子吉祥物
[03:51] for the NYPD’s new pigeon mascot. 起个名字
[03:54] Oh, no. 哦 不
[03:56] What? Naming a pigeon? 什么啊 给鸽子起名
[03:57] How long could that possibly take? 这能花多长时间啊
[03:59] They’ve been at it for months. 他们已经想了好几个月了
[04:01] I love my life. 我爱死我的生活了
[04:05] Holy Moses, he’s alive. 我的天啊 他还活着
[04:07] So I want to explain what happened back there. 我想解释一下刚刚发生的事
[04:10] I did not have a heart attack. 我并不是心脏病发作
[04:11] The doctors have informed me 医生跟我说
[04:13] that I have a genetic heart condition. 我有遗传的心脏问题
[04:15] My aortic valve is 16% too narrow, 我的主动脉瓣比正常要窄16%
[04:18] which lowers my life expectancy from 103 to 64. 所以我的预期寿命从103岁降到了64岁
[04:23] So sorry, sir. That’s terrible. 抱歉 长官 这太不幸了
[04:25] Yes, it’s depressing. 是的 是很沮丧
[04:26] They also informed me that I carry the gene for webbed feet, 他们还告诉我我带有蹼足的隐性基因
[04:30] which is interesting, more than anything else. 比起其它来说 这还挺有趣的
[04:32] But, uh, when you stare death in the face, 但是 当你面对死亡的时候
[04:36] as I have, it really puts things into perspective, 像我刚刚一样 你会真的换一种角度看问题
[04:39] namely that I’ve been wasting too much of my time 比如 我浪费了太多的人生
[04:42] farting around! 无所事事
[04:44] So that stops now! 这必须现在就停止
[04:46] Say good-bye to the fun, hilarious, 所以请你们和曾经热爱的
[04:48] laid-back Seth Dozerman 有趣的 幽默的 轻松的
[04:50] that you used to love. Seth Dozerman说再见吧
[04:51] Boys, hand ’em out! 孩子们 把东西发下去
[04:53] What the hell are these? 这是什么鬼
[04:55] “What the hell are these?” 这是什么鬼
[04:56] These are Dozer-pads. 这是Dozer平板
[04:58] Each one is equipped with a GPS system 每个都装上了定位系统
[04:59] and a countdown clock to remind you 还有一个倒计时表 会每55分钟
[05:01] to complete a task every 55 minutes. 提醒你完成一项任务
[05:04] It also has backgammon on it, which I could not delete 还有个西洋双陆棋的游戏 我删不掉
[05:07] but you are not allowed to play. 但你们不许玩
[05:09] What happens when the clock runs out? 如果倒计时时间到了会怎么样
[05:12] Failure. Failure. 失败 失败
[05:13] You are behind schedule! 你赶不上计划啦
[05:14] – Oh, that’s fun. – Yeah. – 真有趣啊 – 没错
[05:16] Your 55 minutes starts right… 你们的55分钟从现在
[05:19] now. 开始
[05:22] Sarge, I don’t need to be monitored all day long. 警长 我不需要整天都被监视
[05:25] I’m not a toddler. This is stupid. 我又不是小孩 这太蠢了
[05:26] I know you’re not a toddler, 我知道你不是小孩
[05:27] because my toddlers know that “Stupid” Is a no-no word. 因为我家的小孩懂得 蠢 是个不好的词
[05:30] Keep that Dozer-pad on you at all times. Dozer平板你们要随身带着
[05:33] Fine, but I am gonna play the hell out of some backgammon. 好吧 但我一定会使劲地玩西洋双陆棋的
[05:37] Watch me. 看着吧
[05:42] Bouche Manger. 开胃私厨
[05:44] Oh, small plates, 菜品精致小巧
[05:45] casual-chic ambiance, no free soda refills… 氛围轻松 不提供免费续杯的苏打水
[05:48] Jakey’s going on a date. Jakey要去约会啦
[05:51] Are you going on a date with Amy? 你是要和Amy约会吗
[05:52] What? No. Why? 什么 不 为啥怎么问
[05:53] Uh, because you guys just kissed on that mission. 呃 因为你俩在那次任务中接吻了啊
[05:56] Charles, we just kissed ’cause we were undercover. Charles 我们当时只是在打掩护
[05:57] – That’s it. – Yeah, it didn’t mean anything. – 仅此而已 – 是啊 那不算什么
[06:00] Not that it’s any of your business, Boyle, 虽然这一切都与你无关 Boyle
[06:01] but the person that I’m taking on a date 我还是要告诉你 我约的
[06:03] is a girl from the gym. 是个在健身房认识的女孩
[06:05] What? 什么
[06:07] Why is this the first time I’m hearing about her? 那为什么这是我第一次听你说起她
[06:09] Or that you go to the gym? 以及去健身房的事
[06:10] Jake, avoid the weights. Jake 别去增重了
[06:12] Nobody wants you turning into another Terry. 没人想让你变成第二个Terry
[06:14] Ugh. 太恶心了
[06:14] Hey, people like the way that I look. 拜托 大家喜欢我的样子好吗
[06:17] Sure they do, big guy. 他们当然喜欢了 大块头
[06:19] Look, I can’t believe you’re gonna take 听着 我不敢相信你居然要带
[06:20] some fitness floozy to Bouche Manger. 一个健美婊去开胃私厨吃饭
[06:22] You should be going with Amy. 你应该带Amy去的
[06:23] Right, Amy? 对吧 Amy
[06:25] Uh… 这个嘛
[06:26] Whatever, dog. 随便啦 伙计
[06:27] Date the flooze. 和那小婊子约去吧
[06:29] See? 你看吧
[06:30] It’s never gonna happen, Boyle, okay? 我和Amy根本不可能好吗 Boyle
[06:32] Because I find Amy repulsive, 我觉得Amy特别讨厌
[06:34] and she finds me extremely handsome. 但她却觉得我帅得不要不要的
[06:37] So stop pressuring us. 所以就别强迫我们了
[06:38] Oh, you sweet, naive boy. 哦 你这个贴心又天真的男孩
[06:41] I haven’t even begun to pressure you two. 我还没开始给你们施压呢
[06:43] I’ve already written my best man speech 我连在你婚礼上的伴郎演说稿
[06:45] for your wedding. 都已经写好了
[06:47] Oh, I’m gonna need you to get married on a farm. 顺便一说 我要让你在一个农场结婚
[06:49] A lot of my jokes rely on that. 稿子里的大部分笑点都靠它了
[06:52] So here we are, 总算走到这步了
[06:55] officially on a date, 正式约会
[06:57] romantical date. 非常浪漫
[06:58] Yes, we are. 可不是嘛
[07:00] No longer just colleagues. 再也不只是同事了
[07:02] Dating. 恋爱中
[07:04] You got a haircut. It looks nice. 你换了个发型 看起来不错
[07:06] Oh, thanks. 是吗 谢谢
[07:08] You also got a haircut 你也换了个发型
[07:09] at some point in your life. 在你人生的某个时候
[07:11] I’m sure that’s not your baby hair. 我肯定那不是你的胎毛
[07:13] That would be crazy. 那样太疯狂了
[07:14] But, uh… 但是 呃
[07:15] Yeah, you look very nice. 总之 你看起来很棒
[07:16] Domo arigato. 感激不尽
[07:19] Do you speak Japanese? 你还会说日语啊
[07:20] – No. – Oh. – 我不会 – 噢
[07:21] Uh… sorry. 呃 抱歉
[07:23] I think I’m feeling a little awkward. 我感觉有点尴尬
[07:26] Yeah, me too. 我也是
[07:28] How do we make it not weird? 我们怎么做才能不尴尬呢
[07:30] I know. 我知道
[07:32] Let’s just get super drunk. 让我们喝得酩酊大醉
[07:33] Yes, great idea. 好主意
[07:34] Pardon me, ma’am. 麻烦过来一下 小姐
[07:35] Could you please bring us four kamikaze shots? 能给我们上四杯神风鸡尾酒吗
[07:37] And four for me as well. 麻烦也给我来四杯
[07:39] Ah, I like your style. 我喜欢你的风格
[07:40] See, we can do this. 看吧 我们能做到的
[07:42] We’re back on track. 我们正在走上正轨
[07:43] We’re keeping it light and breezy. 我们相处得轻松又愉快
[07:45] So we broke a rule. 我们好像破戒了
[07:49] Yeah. 是的
[07:50] I hope it wasn’t a mistake. 我希望这一步没走错
[07:52] “I Hope It Wasn’t a Mistake,” Title of your sex tape? 希望这一步没走错 是你情色录像带的标题吗
[07:54] Title of our sex tape. 是我们的标题
[07:59] So how was the date with the floozy? 你和那小婊子的约会怎么样
[08:02] We are not leaving these seats until you give me some deets. 你不爆点猛料给我 我是不会离开这个位子的
[08:06] All right, fine. 好吧
[08:07] It started off a bit rocky, 一开始有点艰难
[08:09] but it ended up being really fun. 但最后真的很有趣
[08:11] Did you kiss? 你们接吻了吗
[08:12] Did you french? 法式那种呢
[08:14] Boyle, I’m not gonna answer that. Boyle 我拒绝回答那个问题
[08:15] And no one over the age of 12 says “French.” 再说 没人过了十二岁还用那个词的
[08:18] Oh, that’s a yes. Oh, my God, you had sex. 那就是肯定回答了 我的天 你滚床单了
[08:22] I can tell because you’re glowing. 看你这么容光焕发我就知道
[08:23] Ugh, Jake, no one wants to hear about your sex life. Jake 没人想打听你的性生活
[08:26] You just asked me repeatedly. 是你一而再逼我说的啊
[08:28] Because I was rooting for you and Amy, 因为我是你和Amy的铁杆粉啊
[08:29] but now I can see you’re super serious 但现在看来 我觉得你超认真的
[08:31] about this anonymous gym seductress. 和这个匿名健美婊
[08:34] Ugh, I’m so sorry, Amy. 我很抱歉 Amy
[08:36] It doesn’t matter to me. 我没问题的
[08:37] I’m… I would never date Jake. 我 我永远也不会和Jake约会的
[08:39] I work with Jake. 我们可是同事呢
[08:40] I’d love to see you date someone from work. 我很乐意看到你和某个同事约会
[08:41] Your head would explode. 你的头会炸掉的
[08:43] Your head would explode… 你的头才会炸呢
[08:45] because of how well I would handle it. 我肯定能够掌控全局
[08:47] Mm. Sick burn. 嗯哼 干得漂亮
[08:49] Peralta, Dozerman says he wants to see you. Peralta Dozerman想见你
[08:51] Captain, everything all right? 警监 一切都好吗
[09:00] You tell me. 这话该我问你
[09:01] According to your Dozer-pad, four of your coworkers 根据你的Dozer平板显示 你的四个同事在过去的
[09:03] have been gathered around your desk for the last 90 seconds. 九十秒里一直聚在你的桌子旁边
[09:06] Also, someone named Norm Scully 还有 叫Norm Scully的那个家伙
[09:08] has been in the bathroom for the last 72 minutes. 已经在厕所里蹲了72分钟了
[09:10] Oh, yeah, that means he’s about halfway. 噢 那说明他已经完事一半了
[09:12] But in regards to the coworkers, sir, 至于同事们那边呢 先生
[09:14] I was telling them I wanted to get more work done, 我刚刚是在告诉他们 我想要搞定更多工作
[09:16] but all they wanted to do was talk about my dating life, 但他们满心想的都是八卦我的私生活
[09:19] knowing full well that my true love 要知道我的真爱就是
[09:21] is efficiency. 效率啊
[09:23] You know my motto, sir. 你知道我的座右铭的 先生
[09:24] Cho’s before hos. 重”屎”轻色
[09:27] “Cho’s” Is “Chores.” 那应该是”事”
[09:31] What? 什么
[09:34] I like you. 我很欣赏你
[09:35] I could tell from the moment I walked in here 我敢说 在我走进这里的那一刻
[09:36] that we were one and the same… 我们是一模一样地
[09:38] detail-oriented, love crunching numbers. 注重细节 痴迷于数据
[09:40] Bet your apartment’s immaculate. 我打赌你的公寓一尘不染
[09:42] Could probably eat off the floor. 能用地板来当餐盘
[09:43] – And I do. Yeah. – Yeah. – 我就是这么做的 – 很好
[09:45] – I’m gonna handle this for you. – Okay. – 我这就来帮你一把 – 好的
[09:48] I’m gonna send out a Dozerblast. 我现在要发一条Dozer警告
[09:52] Hey, everyone stop talking about Peralta’s personal life. 注意 所有人停止讨论Peralta的私生活
[09:56] Dozerblast over. Dozer警告 结束
[10:00] Well, thank you very much, sir, 十分感谢 先生
[10:02] and might I just say that this has been a Dozerblast. 我刚说的也算是条Dozer警告了
[10:05] I saw what you did right there. 我听出你的笑点了
[10:07] Uh? 是吧
[10:12] – Get back to work. – Okay. – 滚回去干活 – 遵命
[10:14] I know you’ve been working 我获悉 你们正着手给
[10:15] on picking a name for the pigeon mascot 这个鸽子吉祥物取名
[10:17] for, uh… 已经有 呃
[10:19] Several months now. 几个月了
[10:20] I feel like you might need a breather, 我觉得你们应该想喘口气
[10:22] so I’ve prepared an eight-point presentation 因此我准备了一份八点内容的讲演
[10:25] on community engagement. 主题是 团队协作
[10:26] We’ll get to your presentation, Raymond. 我们会洗耳恭听你的讲演的 Raymond
[10:28] It’s on the agenda. 已经排上议事日程了
[10:29] Well, it says here it’s scheduled 但是 它被安排到了这个时间
[10:31] “After everyone leaves.” “所有人离开之后”
[10:33] And not a minute later. 而不是一分钟以后
[10:34] Trent, Bryce, where are we with the name? Trent Bryce 我们起名到什么进度了
[10:36] We’ve narrowed it down to two choices… 我们已经把范围缩小到了两个选择间
[10:38] Petey or Paulie. Petey 或者 Paulie
[10:40] With all due respect, 恕我直言
[10:41] that pigeon is clearly a Ray J. 那只鸽子很明显该叫 Ray J
[10:44] Hi. Gina Linetti, 大家好 我叫 Gina Linetti
[10:46] the human form of the 100 emoji. 100个表情符号的真人版
[10:49] I’d like to hear Captain Holt’s thoughts on a name. 我倒想听听看Holt警监对于名字的想法
[10:51] Very well. My thoughts are… 很好 我的想法就是
[10:53] who cares? 谁在乎啊
[10:54] Give us a name, Raymond. 给我们一个名字吧 Raymond
[10:56] Weigh in on this. 参与进来
[10:57] It’s your job now. 这现在是你的工作了
[10:58] No. 不要
[11:00] A name. 快说个名字
[11:01] Petey or Paulie, which is it? Petey还是Paulie 哪一个
[11:03] What does it matter? 这有什么关系呢
[11:04] Why’d you even choose a pigeon anyway? 你当初为什么选了个鸽子呢
[11:05] It’s a terrible mascot. 简直是个可怕的吉祥物
[11:07] Because they’re a staple of New York, 因为他们是纽约重要的一部分
[11:08] they’re nonthreatening, and they’re everywhere. 他们没有威胁性并且到处都是
[11:10] They’re carriers of disease, 他们携带各种病
[11:11] and they eat garbage! 他们还吃垃圾
[11:13] Name the pigeon, Raymond! 快给鸽子命名 Raymond
[11:14] – You can’t make me. – I can make you, and I will. – 你不能逼我 – 我能 而且我就要
[11:17] Name the pigeon. That’s an order! 命名鸽子 这是个命令
[11:25] Paulie Paulie.
[11:27] Thank you. 谢谢你
[11:28] Was that so hard? 这么难么
[11:31] Yeah, I’m trying to find some evidence. 我要找些证据
[11:33] I’m just gonna look in here. 我在这里看看吧
[11:34] Another perfect cover. Two for two. Nailed it. 又一个完美伪装 两次都成功了
[11:36] All right, I talked to Dozerman 我和Dozerman说过了
[11:38] and convinced him to outlaw all personal talk at work. 让他不让所有员工工作的时候说话
[11:40] We’re in the clear. 我们很安全
[11:41] And everyone hates you for that, 所有人都要因为这个恨死你了
[11:42] but this is totally working, and no one knows. 但这很有用啊 并且没人知道
[11:45] I know. It’s the best. 我知道 这样最好了
[11:46] And you know what? I’m glad we broke the rule 你知道吗 我很庆幸我们违反了规则
[11:48] and had sex on the first date. 在第一次约会的时候上床了
[11:49] Me too, ’cause we’re, like, really good at it. 我也是 因为我们真的超合拍
[11:51] – So good, right? – Stupid good. – 特别好 对吧 – 超级无敌好
[11:53] It makes no sense. 简直都没有理由
[11:55] We’re light and breezy. 我们是如此轻松愉快
[11:56] If we want to break rules, break rules. 如果想要违反规则 那就违反规则
[11:58] Like, what’s another rule we could break? 还有别的什么规则可以违反的吗
[11:59] No making out at work. 不要在工作的时候亲热
[12:01] Okay, that’s very flattering, Amy, 那真是太令我荣幸了 Amy
[12:03] but there are some rules that I shall never… 但是有些规则我永远都不会
[12:06] – Let’s go. – Okay. – 来吧 – 好嘞
[12:08] Warning. Unknown environment. 警告 不明环境
[12:09] Unknown environment. 不明环境
[12:11] What’s that noise? 那是什么声
[12:13] I don’t hear anything. 我什么都听不见
[12:14] Warning. Unknown environment. 警告 不明环境
[12:16] Unknown environment. 不明环境
[12:19] Warning. Unknown environment. 警告 不明环境
[12:21] What? I put it up there for safe keeping. 怎么了 我搁上去是为了妥善保管它
[12:23] – Safe keeping? – Yeah. – 妥善保管 – 对啊
[12:25] I had it on my desk, but I kept spilling coffee on it. 我搁在桌子上 但是我不停地往上浇咖啡
[12:28] Oops. 哎呀
[12:29] Tamper alert. 损坏警告
[12:30] – Tamper alert. – Come on, Diaz. – 损坏警告 – 别这样 Diaz
[12:31] You two have been in this evidence locker for… 你们在这个证据保管室已经
[12:34] – Hey! – What? Nothing. – 嘿 – 咋了 我们什么都没干
[12:37] Nothing… you were just making out with Peralta. 什么都没干 你俩刚刚还在亲热呢
[12:39] Ah, there’s that candy bar wrapper I was looking for. 这是那个我一直在找的糖纸
[12:42] Oh, Santiago, what are you doing here? 哦 Santiago 你在这干嘛
[12:45] So I guess it is hos before cho’s with you, friend. 看来 妹子的确比工作重要啊 朋友
[12:48] Now I understand why nothing gets done in this precinct. 现在我知道为什么这个警区一无所成了
[12:50] The detectives are too busy frenching with each other, 警探们都忙着法式拥吻了
[12:53] but you know what? 但是你知道吗
[12:54] Your little honeymoon is over! 你俩的蜜月已经结束了
[12:56] ‘Cause as long as I’m here, you two are done! 因为只要我在这 你俩就没戏
[12:59] And I’m gonna be here a long, long, long, 我会在这干很长很长
[13:02] long, long, long, long, long… 很长很长很长
[13:06] Oh, this is a heart attack. 我心脏病犯了
[13:07] This right here, this is a heart attack. 这个是心脏病发作
[13:08] Ooh, it’s a big one. Ooh, ooh, ooh. 哦 而且还很猛 哦哦
[13:10] Oh, oh, oh. 哦哦
[13:12] I’m gonna get help. 我去找人帮忙
[13:13] Sir, it’s all right. We’re getting help. 没事 我们去找人了
[13:15] Okay. 好的
[13:16] Tell my wife that I love her… 告诉我妻子我爱她
[13:20] work ethic. 的职业道德
[13:29] What happened in there? 里面发生了什么
[13:30] Nothing. We were just working, 什么都没发生 我们就在工作
[13:32] separately. 分开地
[13:33] Yeah, and then Dozerman just came in and died. 对 然后Dozerman就进来然后死掉了
[13:35] Peacefully, 安详地
[13:36] like an old cat. 就像只老猫一样
[13:38] Can you think of anything 你们能想到什么
[13:39] that may have caused Dozerman to be startled? 能使Dozerman收到惊吓的事吗
[13:41] Ah… 呃
[13:43] Nope. Uh… 没有
[13:45] He might have been startled 他可能是被
[13:47] by how far apart we were standing. 我们站的距离吓到了
[13:49] That seems unlikely, 这不太可能
[13:50] but obviously he had a ton of health problems, 但是显而易见的是 他有太多健康问题了
[13:53] so, you know, this seems pretty open and shut. 所以 这件事看起来十分明了了
[13:55] Do me a favor and pull the surveillance tapes. 帮我个忙 找出监控录像
[13:57] Right, the surveillance tapes. 对 监控录像
[14:00] Yep, because this is a police precinct. 因为这是个警区
[14:03] You two have something to tell me? 你们俩有什么要和我说的吗
[14:05] All right, fine. 好吧
[14:07] Detective Santiago and I may have been in there 警探Santiago和我在里面 可能在
[14:11] snorking. 社交
[14:12] Yes! 太好了
[14:13] Oh! 噢
[14:14] Wait. What about the gym floozy? 等等 那个健身婊呢
[14:16] Amy was the gym floozy. Amy就是那个健身婊
[14:18] The gym floozy was under my nose 健身婊就在我眼前
[14:20] the whole time. 一直都在
[14:21] Oh, I am over the moon. 我太高兴了
[14:23] – Okay. – Over the moon. – 嗯 – 太高兴了
[14:25] – All right. – So what is this? – 好啦 – 所以这到底怎么回事
[14:27] Casual? Serious? 你们就是玩玩还是认真的
[14:28] I need to know how to make fun of you. 我得知道要怎么笑话你们
[14:29] You guys dating? 你们在约会吗
[14:30] – Yes. – No. – 是的 – 没有
[14:31] Oh, that’s not good. 这可不好
[14:32] I mean, yes. 我是说 是的
[14:33] I just said no because of the rules. 我说没有是因为我们有约定
[14:34] We said we weren’t gonna tell anyone. 我们说了不告诉任何人的
[14:36] It’s very new, 这才没多久
[14:37] and we’re still figuring it out. 我们也在慢慢摸索中
[14:38] Enough. Look. 够了 听着
[14:40] Terry loves love, Terry很喜欢爱情
[14:42] but Terry also loves maintaining a professional work environment. 但Terry也喜欢保持一个专业的工作环境
[14:46] As your commanding officer, 作为你们的指挥官
[14:47] I am very disappointed in both of you. 我对你们俩很失望
[14:55] – So, Boyle… – Mm. – 那么 Boyle – 嗯
[14:56] Let’s go look at those surveillance tapes, yeah? 我们去看监控录像吧
[14:59] – Oh, absolutely. – Mm. – 哦 那当然了 – 嗯
[15:02] Captain, I know this isn’t my place to say, 警监 我知道这不是我的工作
[15:05] but Madeline Wuntch is here to see you. 但Madeline Wuntch来见你了
[15:07] Actually that’s exactly your place to say. 事实上 这就是你应该说的
[15:09] You are my assistant. 你是我的助手
[15:11] What precisely did you think your job was? 那你觉得你的工作是什么
[15:13] Ideally? Bullfighter. 理想中的 斗牛士
[15:15] But it’s such a boys’ club. 但那都是些男人
[15:17] – Hmm. – Ooh. – 嗯 – 哦
[15:19] I like what you’ve done with your office, Raymond. 我喜欢你对办公室的改造 Raymond
[15:21] It’s cozy, 很舒适
[15:22] like a shoebox one buries a dead hamster in. 就像鞋盒子里面埋了只死仓鼠
[15:25] So what did you want to see me about? 所以你找我干什么
[15:27] I’d like to propose a truce. 我要提议休战
[15:29] Our feud is getting in the way 我们的夙怨已经影响到
[15:30] of the NYPD’s business. 纽约警署的工作了
[15:32] Madeline, the PR department is a joke. Madeline 公关部门简直就是个笑话
[15:34] Their work here is meaningless. 他们的工作是无用的
[15:35] Nine weeks to choose the name Paulie. 九周了 就为选出Paulie这个名字
[15:38] I knew instantly it should be Pepper, 我立刻就知道应该是Pepper
[15:40] Officer Pepper O’Pigeon. 警官Pepper O’Pigeon
[15:42] Maybe we should start the whole naming process 也许我们应该将起名的程序
[15:44] all over again. 重来一遍
[15:45] I could turn this department around if you’d let me. 如果你允许 我能把这个部门改造一新
[15:48] You’re wasting my talents. 你在浪费我的才华
[15:49] This man is a Timberlake, 这个人可是Timberlake
[15:51] and you need to stop treating him like a Fatone. 你不能像对待Fatone一样对待他了
[15:53] Yes, yes, perhaps you’re right. 对 也许你是对的
[15:56] Perhaps I am wasting your talents. 也许我是浪费你的才华了
[15:58] I want you to spread your wings, as it were. 我希望你能展翅高飞 就像以前一样
[16:02] I think we’ve found the perfect person 我觉得我们找到了穿鸽子服装
[16:04] to wear the pigeon costume. 的绝佳人选
[16:05] It’s you, Raymond. 就是你 Raymond
[16:07] Do we need to get the costume altered, 我们需要把衣服改改吗
[16:09] or do you have your own pigeon pants 还是说你有自己的鸽子裤
[16:11] No, Madeline, I don’t have my own pigeon pants. 没有 Madeline 我没有鸽子裤
[16:15] You are 43 minutes behind. 你已落后43分钟
[16:18] I know. Get off my back, computer ghost. 我知道 别嚷嚷了 你个电脑鬼魂
[16:20] Why are you still playing with that stupid game, Sarge? 警长 你为什么还在玩那个蠢游戏啊
[16:22] – The guy is dead. – It’s not a game. – 这个人死了 – 这不是游戏
[16:24] I’m following our captain’s orders. 我是在听从长官的指示
[16:25] His orders were stupid. 他的指示都是狗屁
[16:27] I hated him more than any cop I’ve ever known. 他是我见过的最讨厌的警察
[16:30] Whoa. 哇
[16:32] I just realized I’m never gonna be able to say that to his face. 我才意识到 我没有机会当着他的面说这句话了
[16:34] I mean, I could say it to his wife at the funeral, 不过 我可以在葬礼上对他妻子说
[16:36] but it won’t be the same. 但感觉是不一样的
[16:37] He was trying to make our precinct better. 他在努力让我们警局变得更好
[16:39] Look. Holt’s gone. Holt走了
[16:41] Dozerman died. Dozerman死了
[16:42] Who knows who we’re getting next? 谁知道下一个长官会是谁
[16:43] I’m just trying to keep this place running. 我只是想管好这里
[16:45] That’s my job. 这是我的工作
[16:47] Case cleared! 破案了
[16:49] Yeah, how do you like me now, sucker? 现在觉得我怎么样啊 蠢货
[16:51] I mean, I hope you found peace. 我是说 希望你安息
[16:54] Hey, so everybody knows about us now, 所有人都知道咱的事儿了
[16:56] which means all the rules have been broken 也就意味着所有规矩都被打破了
[16:58] and nothing bad happened. 而且没有坏事发生
[16:59] Nothing bad happened? 没有坏事发生
[17:00] Terry yelled at us, and we killed our captain. Terry朝我们大吼 我们害死了新警监
[17:03] Jake, is this a bad idea? Jake 这是个坏主意吧
[17:06] It seems like the universe is sending us a lot of signs 似乎全宇宙都在告诉我们
[17:08] that we should hit the brakes. 我们应该适可而止了
[17:09] Hasn’t exactly been light and breezy. 我们都没有觉得轻松愉快
[17:11] Yeah, it’s been a little more 是啊 的确是压力重重
[17:13] stressful and death-y. 死气沉沉的
[17:14] You have to admit it hasn’t started out great. 你得承认 这件事的开始并不完美
[17:17] What do you want to do, then? 那你怎么想的
[17:19] Go back to being colleagues? 回到同事关系
[17:21] Yeah. 是吧
[17:22] Maybe that’s what it needs to be right now. 也许这样做才是对的
[17:27] Okay. 好吧
[17:28] Okay. 好吧
[17:31] Sorry. 对不起
[17:38] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no… 不不不不不不
[17:39] Boyle, can we please just go to dinner? Boyle 咱们能直接去吃饭吗
[17:41] No, no, no, no, no! 不不不不不行
[17:43] This is not how you and Amy are supposed to end. 你和Amy不该就这样结束
[17:45] You’re supposed to grow old 你们应该白头偕老
[17:46] and die holding each other 在静静漂在水上的邮轮中
[17:47] as your cruise ship slowly takes on water. 相拥而逝
[17:49] What do you want me to say? 你想让我说什么
[17:51] We tried really hard. We made rules. 我们已经很尽力了 我们定了规矩
[17:52] We kept it light and breezy. 我们让这份感情轻松愉快
[17:53] Light and breezy? 轻松愉快
[17:55] Ow! 哇啊
[17:56] Light and breezy is how you describe a linen pantsuit, 轻松愉快 是用来形容亚麻装
[17:58] not a relationship you care about. 而不是形容一段你在意的感情
[18:00] We were just being cautious. 我们只是很小心罢了
[18:02] – Cautious? – Ow! – 小心 – 哇啊
[18:04] You guys started this with one foot out the door. 你们一开始就想好了退路
[18:06] That’s what doomed you, not the universe. 这注定了你的失败 不要怪宇宙
[18:08] Actually, it makes a lot of sense. 其实 你说得对
[18:10] Ow, I was agreeing with you! 哇啊 我是在同意你啊
[18:12] I’m sorry. 抱歉
[18:13] I’m just so excited about all this! 只是我对这件事太激动了
[18:14] All right, so what do I do? 好吧 我该怎么办
[18:16] – Tell me. – Easy. – 告诉我 – 冷静
[18:17] You march over there, you tell her how you feel, 你去她家 告诉她你的想法
[18:19] and you bring a fancy bottle of lavender shampoo, 带一瓶高档的薰衣草洗发水
[18:21] because shampooing a woman’s head 因为给女人洗头
[18:22] is the most erotic thing you could ever possibly… 是最能撩拨性欲的事
[18:24] No, no, no shampoo. That’s the worst. 不不不 不要洗发水 这个想法很烂
[18:26] But I am gonna go over there. 但是我要过去
[18:27] I’m gonna tell her how I feel. 告诉她我的想法
[18:28] Yes! Go get her. 没错 去找她
[18:29] No! Wait till it starts raining. 不 等下雨了再去
[18:31] No, that’s crazy. Go now. 算了 那太神经了 现在就去
[18:33] Okay. 好
[18:36] – Ahh! – Sorry! Sorry. – 啊啊 – 抱歉 抱歉
[18:38] It’s okay. 没事
[18:39] I was home, 我刚在家
[18:41] and I really wanted to talk to someone about us 特别想跟人谈谈我们之间的事
[18:44] and Dozerman and about Holt being gone, 还有Dozerman 和Holt走了的事
[18:46] and then I realized that the only person 然后我意识到
[18:48] I want to talk about that stuff with is you. 我想聊天的对象 只有你
[18:51] So screw just being colleagues, 去他的当同事
[18:54] and screw light and breezy, right? 去他的轻松愉快 好吗
[18:59] Definitely. 绝对地
[19:02] Guys, we did it. 我们做到了
[19:03] We really did it. 真的做到了
[19:04] Oh, Charles is here. Charles也在呢
[19:06] Big time. 没错
[19:08] Captain. 警监
[19:09] The kids want to know where Paulie the Pigeon is. 孩子们想知道问鸽子Paulie在哪儿
[19:12] I told ’em he got sucked up into an airplane engine. 我跟他们说他卡在飞机引擎里了
[19:14] Is that all right? 我说得对吗
[19:15] I can’t put that pigeon head on, Gina. 我不能戴那个鸽子头 Gina
[19:17] Wuntch has defeated me. Wuntch打败了我
[19:19] This is how it ends, 这就是结局
[19:21] with me standing on the urine-soaked floor 我站在这个满是尿液的
[19:22] of an elementary school bathroom 小学厕所里
[19:24] in a third-rate bird costume. 还穿着三流的鸟装
[19:27] – I quit. – No. – 我不干了 – 不行
[19:28] I did not follow you to PR to watch you quit. 我跟你来公关部 不是看你退出的
[19:31] I followed you because you’re great 我跟着你 是因为你很优秀
[19:33] and because you make everything you touch better, 你让所有你接触过的东西变得更好了
[19:36] and I figured PR would be the easiest path 我觉得公关部是让我开启
[19:39] to launching my reality show “Linetti, Set, Go.” 我的真人秀”Linetti 预备 开始”的一条捷径
[19:42] I thought your reality show was to be called 我以为你的真人秀叫
[19:44] “Gina in a Bottle.” “瓶中Gina”呢
[19:45] No, that was my fragrance line. 不 那是我的香水事业
[19:47] Keep up. 跟上时代好吗
[19:48] Listen. 听着
[19:50] You cannot let Wuntch defeat you. 你不能让Wuntch打败你
[19:52] That is not who you are. 那不是真正的你
[19:54] You are a person who will go out there 你会大步走出去
[19:56] and deliver his eight-point plan on whatever, whatever. 讲你的关于什么什么的八点计划
[19:58] – Community engagement. – Whatever. – 团队协作 – 随便啦
[20:00] Even if the only people listening 即使听的人
[20:03] are a bunch of second graders, 是一堆小学二年级的学生
[20:05] because Captain Raymond Holt 因为Raymond Holt长官
[20:08] never gives up! 从不放弃
[20:10] Inspiring words. 很鸡汤
[20:12] I’m going to give that speech. 我要去演讲了
[20:13] Help me with that pigeon head. 帮我戴下鸽子头
[20:16] Yeah, all right. 好 好的
[20:20] Let’s blow some tiny minds. 让他们大吃一惊吧
[20:25] Rosa Diaz, you are six hours ahead of schedule. Rosa Diaz 你已超前6小时
[20:28] Great job. 干得好
[20:29] Wow, Diaz. 哇 Diaz
[20:31] That’s the first time I’ve seen him smile. 这是我第一次看他笑
[20:33] I didn’t do it for him. 我不是为了他才做
[20:34] I did it ’cause it’s my job. 我做 是因为这是我的工作
[20:35] – We cool? – We’re cool. – 我们没事了吧 – 没事了
[20:38] Good. 好
[20:41] Damage. Critical damage. 损害 致命损害
[20:47] There’s a rumor the new captain’ll be here today. 听说新警监今天就来
[20:50] Now, I don’t know who Wuntch is sending us, 我也不知道Wuntch会派谁来
[20:52] but it doesn’t matter, 不过不重要了
[20:54] because we’re a family, 因为我们是一家人
[20:56] we’re strong, 我们很强壮
[20:57] and together, we can do anything. 团结一心 我们就能战胜一切
[20:59] 99 99 Nine-Nine! Nine-Nine!
[21:04] What’s up, ding-dongs? 最近如何 小屁孩儿们
[21:06] I’m your new captain. 我是你们的新警监
[21:07] – The Vulture. – No. – 秃鹰 – 不会吧
[21:09] Still hot. 正点
[21:10] Now, I know we have our history, 我知道我们有过节
[21:12] me vulturing your cases, 我剥夺了你们的案子
[21:13] me telling you to eat my farts, 我让你们吃屁
[21:15] but that’s all in the past, 但那都过去了
[21:17] ’cause now that I run this precinct, 因为既然我接手了警局
[21:18] things are gonna get much, much worse. 情况会越来越失控的
[21:22] So suck it. 你们忍着吧
[21:24] No! 不要
神烦警探

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