| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | I gotta tell you, the more I read about the | 我不得不说 我越读有关 |
| [00:04] | primordial gravity wave discovery, the more excited I get. | 原始重力波的发现 我就越兴奋 |
| [00:07] | I know. Being an astrophysicist right now | 是啊 现在当个天体物理学家 |
| [00:09] | is like being a rock star. | 就跟当个摇滚巨星似的 |
| [00:11] | Only without the sex. | 除了没歌迷送炮之外 |
| [00:14] | Yeah, literally, none of it. | 是啊 真是一炮难求 |
| [00:17] | What do you think about it, Sheldon? | 谢尔顿 你觉得呢 |
| [00:19] | Meh. | 切 |
| [00:21] | Are you kidding me? This may be | 你不是吧 这可能是 |
| [00:23] | the biggest scientific breakthrough of our lifetime. | 我们有生之年所能碰见最大的科研突破 |
| [00:26] | How can you, as a theoretical physicist, | 而你做为个理论物理学家 |
| [00:28] | not care about this? | 居然一点都不关心 |
| [00:29] | Maybe it’s because I’m not an elitist. | 可能我不是个精英主义者 |
| [00:32] | What I’d like to know is: | 我更想知道的是 |
| [00:33] | How does this gravity wave breakthrough | 这个重力波的突破 |
| [00:35] | help the man on the street? You know? | 能对一般人有何帮助 |
| [00:37] | Wh-Who’s looking out for Joe Six-Pack | 普通路人傻逼对量子物理学的担心 |
| [00:39] | and all his quantum physics concerns? | 又有谁关心呢 |
| [00:42] | Oh, my God, you’re jealous. | 天啊 你在嫉妒人家 |
| [00:44] | – Why would I be jealous? – Oh, I don’t know. | -我为何要嫉妒 -不知道啊 |
| [00:47] | Maybe because the origin of the universe just got proven, | 可能宇宙的起源被别人证明了 |
| [00:50] | the Higgs field just got proven | 希格斯力场也被别人证明了 |
| [00:51] | and you’ve been working on string theory | 而你这20年来对弦理论的研究 |
| [00:53] | for the last 20 years and you’re no closer to proving it | 与你刚开始的那会相比 |
| [00:55] | than when you started. | 一点进展都没有 |
| [00:58] | Yeah, well, I’ve had a lot on my plate. | 是啊 我有太多事情要忙 |
| [01:01] | We happen to live in a golden age of television. | 我们刚好活在电视界的黄金时期 |
| [01:05] | Excuse me, fellas. | 各位 打扰一下 |
| [01:07] | Sorry for eavesdropping, | 抱歉我偷听了你们的谈话 |
| [01:09] | but there actually was some big string theory news today | 但其实今天在强子对撞机那里 |
| [01:11] | – out of the Hadron Collider. – Really? | -有一条弦理论的大新闻呢 -真的吗 |
| [01:13] | Did they find evidence to support extra dimensions | 他们发现支持额外维度的证明 |
| [01:16] | – or supersymmetry? – No, | -还是超对称性吗 -都不是 |
| [01:17] | but they did find evidence that you’ll believe anything. | 但他们发现了 你什么话都信的证明 |
| [01:23] | Why would you do that? | 你为何要这样 |
| [01:24] | You’re a string theorist as well. | 你也是个弦理论学家啊 |
| [01:26] | Incorrect. I am a string pragmatist. | 错了 我是弦理论实用家 |
| [01:29] | I say I’m gonna prove something that cannot be proved, | 我跟人说我要证明一个不能被证明的理论 |
| [01:32] | I apply for grant money, | 然后申请研究款项 |
| [01:33] | and then I spend it on liquor and broads. | 最后拿这笔钱去喝酒泡妞 |
| [01:36] | Later. | 再会 |
| [01:40] | Do you think he’s right? | 你们觉得他说的对吗 |
| [01:43] | Am I wasting my life on a theory that can never be proven? | 我把生命浪费在了一个不能被证明的理论上 |
| [01:50] | Maybe. But how great is Game of Thrones? | 或许吧 可是《权力的游戏》多好看啊 |
| [02:21] | Hey, you’re up early. | 这么早就醒啦 |
| [02:24] | I couldn’t sleep. | 我睡不着 |
| [02:25] | I told you those Walking Dead pillowcases were a bad idea. | 我早说了别用《行尸走肉》的枕头套 |
| [02:30] | No, that’s not it. | 跟那个无关 |
| [02:31] | Is something bothering you? | 有烦心事吗 |
| [02:33] | Yes, but you wouldn’t understand. | 是啊 不过你不会懂的 |
| [02:36] | Oh, come on, try me. | 别这样 说来听听 |
| [02:39] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [02:43] | I’ve devoted the prime of my life to string theory | 我把我的人生黄金时期都奉献给了弦理论 |
| [02:46] | and its quest for the compactification of extra dimensions. | 致力于探索紧化额外维度 |
| [02:50] | I’ve got nothing to show for it, and I feel like a fool. | 而我连一点可以炫耀的成功都没有 像个傻瓜 |
| [02:54] | Okay. I get it. | 好 我懂了 |
| [02:56] | I mean, not all the jibberjabber in the middle, but… | 虽然中间的鬼话一个字没懂 但是… |
| [03:00] | I know what it’s like | 我懂那种 |
| [03:01] | to put your heart and soul into something | 全心全意都奉献给某个人事物 |
| [03:02] | and get nothing out of it. | 却一点回报都没有的感觉 |
| [03:04] | You mean your acting career? | 你是说你的演艺事业吗 |
| [03:08] | No. | 不是 |
| [03:09] | Your relationship with Leonard? | 你与莱纳德的感情吗 |
| [03:13] | No. | 也不是 |
| [03:14] | Your failed attempt to go back to college? | 你重回校园的失败之路吗 |
| [03:15] | No! | 不是 |
| [03:17] | I’m saying you and string theory sound like a relationship, | 我是说你与弦理论就像一段感情 |
| [03:20] | and I know what it’s like to be in one | 而我知道那种感情的滋味 |
| [03:21] | and realize it’s never gonna turn out the way you want. | 也懂那种永远不能如愿的感觉 |
| [03:25] | I said Leonard; you said no. | 都说是莱纳德 你还否认 |
| [03:28] | I’m talking about other guys. | 我是指跟其他男人时啦 |
| [03:30] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [03:32] | Well, what do you do? | 那你都是怎么做的 |
| [03:34] | You have to have the courage to end the relationship. | 你得有壮士断腕的勇气结束感情 |
| [03:37] | You know? Break it off, shake hands, walk away. | 分手止损 握手道别 甩手走人 |
| [03:41] | I don’t know if I can do that. | 我不知道我能不能做到 |
| [03:43] | I know it’s hard, honey, | 我知道这很困难 但宝贝 |
| [03:44] | but in the end, that’s how you grow. | 但人都是这样成长的 |
| [03:51] | Penny, have you seen my good inhaler? | 佩妮 你有看到我好的那个吸入器吗 |
| [03:56] | Break it off, shake hands, walk away. | 分手止损 握手道别 甩手走人 |
| [04:04] | Hey, how’s dating two women going? | 跟两个女人纠缠得如何啊 |
| [04:06] | Um, kind of hit a bump. | 遇到点小麻烦 |
| [04:09] | When I was honest and told Emily | 当我老实告诉艾米丽 |
| [04:10] | she wasn’t the only person I was seeing, it went great. | 我同时有在与另一个人约会时 她可以接受 |
| [04:13] | So I tried the same thing with Lucy. | 所以我也这么告诉了露西 |
| [04:15] | And? | 然后呢 |
| [04:16] | She had mixed feelings. | 她内心五味杂陈 |
| [04:20] | But when I said, “Emily was cool with it. | 但当我说”艾米丽可以接受 |
| [04:21] | Emily’s the best. Why can’t you be more like Emily?”… | 艾米丽最好了 你为啥不学学艾米丽”时 |
| [04:26] | …those feelings became less mixed. | 那五味就只剩一味了 |
| [04:31] | Women. Who knows what’ll set ’em off? | 女人啊 谁知道她们不爽的点在哪 |
| [04:35] | At least now I can focus all my energies on just one girl. | 可至少我现在能全心对一个女孩投入了 |
| [04:38] | I hope I get to meet her as soon as possible. | 我希望我能尽快见到她 |
| [04:40] | Why the rush? She isn’t going anywhere. | 干嘛这么着急 她又不会跑 |
| [04:42] | She is. But I like that attitude. | 她会的 但我喜欢你的乐观 |
| [04:46] | Gentlemen, is anybody interested in my old string theory books? | 各位 有人对我弦理论的旧书感兴趣吗 |
| [04:50] | You’re really going to do this? | 你真的要这么做吗 |
| [04:52] | I am. Yeah, Penny pointed out that | 是的 佩妮指出 |
| [04:55] | what I’m going through is essentially a breakup. | 我现在基本上就是在经历一段分手 |
| [04:57] | And according to Cosmopolitan magazine, | 而且根据《时尚》杂志中 |
| [05:00] | one of the most effective techniques for moving on | 一篇教导如何有效挥别旧爱的文章 |
| [05:02] | is to get rid of all reminders of the relationship. | 分手就得丢掉会回忆起感情的一切物件 |
| [05:05] | – You’re reading Cosmo? – Yes. | -你还读起《时尚》杂志啦 -是啊 |
| [05:07] | As it turns out, there’s an article | 而且我还发现 基本上 |
| [05:09] | on how to get over a breakup in literally every issue. | 每期都有教导如何挥别旧爱的文章 |
| [05:14] | Anyway, | 反正 |
| [05:15] | it suggests that I set these on fire, | 它还建议要把这些东西烧掉 |
| [05:17] | but the smell of burning books | 但烧书的味道 |
| [05:19] | reminds me of church picnics in East Texas. | 会让我想起教会去德州东部野餐时的回忆 |
| [05:19] | 绰号为太空城的休士顿就在德州东部 | |
| [05:24] | What’s this? | 这是什么 |
| [05:26] | That’s just a doodle of a hyperelliptic Riemann surface. | 我随手画的超椭圆黎曼曲面而已 |
| [05:29] | Oh, yeah. Wasn’t that the basis of your postdoc fellowship? | 这不是你当年博士后的基础吗 |
| [05:32] | It was. | 是啊 |
| [05:34] | This seemed so elegant at the time, | 当年我还觉得这很高大上 |
| [05:37] | but… now I realize I was just a simple country boy | 但我现在意识到我当年只是个被 |
| [05:40] | seduced by a big city theory | 大城市那变量都对的理论 |
| [05:43] | with variables in all the right places. | 所迷惑的单纯农村小伙 |
| [05:47] | – It’s going to be okay. – I know. | -你会没事的 -我知道 |
| [05:49] | As hard as this is, I have to move on. | 尽管很困难 我还是得挥别过去了 |
| [05:51] | I can’t keep postulating multidimensional entities | 我不能再一直假定着多维度实体 |
| [05:54] | and get nothing in return. | 却什么结果也得不到 |
| [05:56] | I have needs, too. | 我也是有需求的人 |
| [06:04] | So, you and Emily still together? | 你现在还跟艾米丽在一起吗 |
| [06:13] | I spoke to Bernadette. She’s free tomorrow night. | 我问过伯纳黛特了 她明天有空 |
| [06:15] | Oh, okay, great. | 好啊 行 |
| [06:17] | But if we’re really gonna do a double date, | 但如果我们真的要四人约会 |
| [06:19] | then we have to go over some ground rules about Emily. | 我们得先定下一些跟艾米丽有关的规矩 |
| [06:21] | Like when it turns out she’s made of rubber, | 比如最终发现她是个橡胶充气娃娃时 |
| [06:23] | I don’t say anything? | 我啥都不许说吗 |
| [06:27] | She’s very real. | 她很真实好吗 |
| [06:29] | Oh, that’s what it says on the box. | 充气娃娃盒子上都这么写啊 |
| [06:33] | Right next to “Dishwasher safe.” | 就写在”可用洗碗机清洗”的字样旁 |
| [06:36] | See? | 你看 |
| [06:37] | This is exactly the kind of thing | 我担心的就是 |
| [06:38] | I’m worried about you saying in front of her. | 你在她面前说这类的话 |
| [06:40] | – I promise I’ll be on my best behavior. – You better be. | -我保证我绝对会很乖 -最好是这样 |
| [06:43] | No jokes about how close I am with my dog. | 不许开我跟我的狗很亲密的玩笑 |
| [06:47] | Or the truth about how close I am with my dog. | 也不许说我跟我狗有多亲密的实话 |
| [06:51] | You got it. | 我保证 |
| [06:51] | No jokes about the year I took ballet. | 不许开我学过一年芭蕾舞的玩笑 |
| [06:53] | You took ballet? | 你学过芭蕾舞吗 |
| [06:56] | God, you never listen. | 天啊 你从来都不好好聆听 |
| [07:01] | Are you sure you want to do this? | 你确定你要这样吗 |
| [07:03] | The magazine articles suggest that one of the ways | 杂志中一篇文章建议 |
| [07:05] | to get over a breakup is a new look. | 挥别旧情的方法就是新造型 |
| [07:08] | What about your old look, | 那你的旧造型呢 |
| [07:09] | well-groomed ventriloquist doll? | 精心打扮过的腹语术玩偶造型 |
| [07:14] | – “Oh, my God, I do look like that.” – Stop it! | -“天啊 的确是很像” -别闹了 |
| [07:19] | So, how do you want me to cut it? | 所以你想我怎么剪 |
| [07:21] | How about Bill Gates meets Nikola Tesla? | 比尔·盖兹加尼古拉·特斯拉的发型 |
| [07:27] | So, business in the front, science in the back. | 就是前面商人头 后面科学家头 |
| [07:31] | Or I don’t cut it | 或者我就不剪了 |
| [07:32] | and maybe just style it a little. | 就搞点造型就行了 |
| [07:33] | Oh, I’m in your hands. | 你说了算 |
| [07:35] | Do a good job and I’ll tell you Cosmo’s ten dynamite tips | 你弄得好我就告诉你 《时尚》教你如何轻松度过 |
| [07:38] | to enjoy your PMS. | 经前症候群的10大绝招 |
| [07:42] | Can you keep him quiet? | 你能让他保持安静吗 |
| [07:43] | Maybe jangle some keys in front of him? | 比如拿钥匙在他眼前晃 |
| [07:45] | That doesn’t work anymore. | 这招不好用了 |
| [07:46] | He just thinks I’m taking him to the doctor. | 他只会觉得我是要带他去看医生 |
| [07:50] | So, now that you’re no longer invested in string theory, | 所以你现在不搞弦理论了 |
| [07:53] | what are you gonna pursue? | 你打算研究哪方面 |
| [07:54] | Oh, there are so many exciting areas: | 有很多超有意思的领域啊 |
| [07:57] | black holes, dark matter… | 黑洞 暗物质 |
| [07:59] | Oh, Leonard was telling me about dark matter, | 莱纳德那天还在跟我说暗物质呢 |
| [08:01] | but I didn’t really understand it. | 但我真的不太理解 |
| [08:02] | Don’t feel bad. Neither does he. | 不用难过 他自己也不懂 |
| [08:09] | Okay… | 好了 |
| [08:11] | what do you think? | 你觉得如何 |
| [08:15] | Have you ever even seen a picture of Tesla? | 你看没看过特斯拉的照片啊 |
| [08:15] | 尼古拉·特斯拉 伟大的发明家 物理学家 发型是微卷的中分头 | |
| [08:19] | It actually looks good, Sheldon. | 其实很好看呢 谢尔顿 |
| [08:20] | – Doesn’t it? – Yeah. | -是吧 -是啊 |
| [08:23] | I suppose I could see myself in a scientific boy band. | 我是可以想象自己在一个科学男子团体里 |
| [08:28] | Of course, I’d be the dreamy one and the smart one. | 由于美貌与智慧并存 所以在男团里一个顶俩 |
| [08:32] | Sorry I’m late. | 抱歉我来晚了 |
| [08:34] | What did you do? | 你干了啥好事 |
| [08:36] | I gave him a new look. It’s cute, huh? | 我帮他弄了新造型 很好看吧 |
| [08:39] | Yeah, it’s cute. That’s the problem. | 是啊 很好看 这就是问题 |
| [08:42] | I don’t need other girls to see him walking around | 我可不想他走在路上被饥渴的女人们 |
| [08:43] | like sex on a stick. | 扑上来按倒 |
| [08:48] | She’s right. I’m too hot. | 她说的对 我太性感了 |
| [08:55] | I’m excited to meet Emily. | 我迫不及待想见艾米丽 |
| [08:57] | Me, too. I just hope he doesn’t blow it. | 我也是 只希望他别搞砸这段情 |
| [09:00] | Why would you say that? | 你为什么这么说 |
| [09:01] | Because he’s Raj– that’s his thing. | 因为他是拉杰啊 这是他的专长 |
| [09:05] | Beckham can bend it, Ralph can wreck it, | 贝克汉姆很会踢球 破坏王很会砸 |
| [09:05] | 电影《Bend it like Beckham》我爱贝克汉姆 与《Wreck it Ralph》无敌破坏王 | |
| [09:07] | Raj can blow it. | 拉杰很会搞砸 |
| [09:10] | Look, I don’t want it to happen, | 我也不想发生那种事 |
| [09:11] | but odds are he’s gonna find a way to… | 但他有很大的几率会搞… |
| [09:15] | Oh, crap, I know that girl. | 靠 我认识那女的 |
| [09:17] | How? | 怎么个认识 |
| [09:18] | In a bad way, very bad. | 很不好 非常不好的认识 |
| [09:21] | Hey, guys. | 你们好啊 |
| [09:22] | Whatever you hear tonight, just remember I love you. | 无论你今晚听到了什么 只要记得我很爱你 |
| [09:23] | Hey! | 你们来啦 |
| [09:31] | Emily, these are my good friends, | 艾米丽 他们是我的好朋友 |
| [09:33] | Howard and Bernadette. | 霍华德与伯纳黛特 |
| [09:34] | – Guys, this is Emily. – Nice to meet you. | -两位 她叫艾米丽 -幸会 |
| [09:36] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [09:38] | Have we met before? | 我们见过吗 |
| [09:40] | Uh… no. | 没有吧 |
| [09:43] | I-I don’t… I don’t… think so. | 我 我觉得 没有吧 |
| [09:46] | You sure? You look familiar. | 你确定吗 你好眼熟啊 |
| [09:48] | Well, you sure don’t. | 你肯定看错了 |
| [09:50] | You I know, you I know, you? | 我认识你 我也认识你 而你… |
| [09:53] | Total stranger. | 绝对是初次见面啊 |
| [09:55] | Even if you had yummy candy, I would not get in your van. | 就算你有好吃的糖果 我也不会跟你去看金鱼 |
| [10:00] | Did you go to that spin class on Green Street? | 你是不是有参加格林街上的自行车健身班 |
| [10:02] | That must be it. | 就是这样没错 |
| [10:04] | Since when do you go to spin class? | 你什么时候参加过自行车健身班 |
| [10:06] | Wow. Now who doesn’t listen? | 看看到底谁才不听别人说话 |
| [10:11] | Sheldon, your food’s getting cold. | 谢尔顿 你的饭都快凉了 |
| [10:13] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么呢 |
| [10:14] | Oh, looking through my textbooks for a new field of inquiry. | 我想从课本里找出新的研究方向 |
| [10:18] | Why do we have a Geology book? | 家里怎么会有本地质学的书 |
| [10:22] | Leonard, | 莱纳德 |
| [10:23] | did you throw a children’s party while I was in Texas? | 我回去德州时 你在家偷偷办了个儿童派对吗 |
| [10:27] | Wait. What’s wrong with geology? | 等等 地理学怎么惹到你了 |
| [10:29] | Let me put this in a way you’ll understand, Penny. | 让我用你能听懂的方式解释吧 佩妮 |
| [10:31] | You remember how you explained to me | 记得你跟我解释过 |
| [10:33] | that the Kardashians aren’t real celebrities? | 卡戴珊一家根本算不上真正的明星吗 |
| [10:36] | Well, Geology is the Kardashians of science. | 地理学就是科学界的卡戴珊一家 |
| [10:41] | Have you considered studying standard model physics? | 你考虑过研究标准模型物理学吗 |
| [10:44] | You want me to give up string theory | 你想让我放弃弦理论 |
| [10:46] | for something that’s less advanced? | 去做更落后的项目吗 |
| [10:48] | You know, why don’t you break up with Penny | 那你为什么不甩掉佩妮 |
| [10:50] | and start dating a brown bear? | 去找个棕熊恋爱呢 |
| [10:54] | Like you could get a brown bear. | 好像你泡得到棕熊似的 |
| [10:57] | Hey, I’ve got a good job. | 人家有份正经工作 |
| [10:58] | I could buy salmon. You don’t know. | 有钱买三文鱼给熊吃 搞不好会成功呢 |
| [11:02] | Maybe you could make your new field of study | 或许你可以开始尝试一下 |
| [11:03] | the calculation of nuclear matrix elements. | 核矩阵元素的计算工作 |
| [11:06] | Oh, please. | 得了吧 |
| [11:07] | If I wanted to take up a fad, I’d get a tramp stamp. | 如果我想赶时髦 还不如去搞个骚女纹身呢 |
| [11:14] | What about loop quantum gravity? | 那环圈量子重力学呢 |
| [11:16] | Oh, Duchess, look at me. | 公爵夫人 瞧瞧我 |
| [11:18] | My quantum gravity’s positively loopy. | 我的量子重力学真是好糊涂[圈]啊 |
| [11:23] | Who’s the Duchess? | 公爵夫人是哪位啊 |
| [11:24] | One of the people that lives in his head. | 他脑子里众多幻想人物之一 |
| [11:28] | I hope he’s this distraught if he ever breaks up with me. | 如果他和我分手后 也这么心神错乱就好了 |
| [11:30] | Well, if he does, I’ll see if my bear has a friend. | 如果真是 我会让我家熊熊替他介绍对象的 |
| [11:36] | Sheldon, have you ever considered | 谢尔顿 你可以试试 |
| [11:37] | not rushing into something new? | 不要急着开始新的研究呀 |
| [11:38] | I mean, why don’t you take your time, | 你为什么不放松一点 |
| [11:40] | enjoy your freedom? | 享受享受自由的时间呢 |
| [11:41] | Maybe something new to study will find you. | 也许新的课题会主动出现在你面前 |
| [11:45] | That’s actually not bad advice. | 这个建议其实还真不错 |
| [11:47] | You know, I didn’t seek out string theory. | 你知道 我当初也不是主动研究弦理论的 |
| [11:50] | It just hit me over the head one day. | 有一天它就突然对我当头棒喝 |
| [11:53] | How does that happen? | 怎么发生的 |
| [11:54] | A bully chased me through the school library | 一个校园恶霸在图书馆追着我跑 |
| [11:56] | and hit me over the head with the biggest book he could find. | 用他手边最重的书打了我的头 |
| [12:00] | Okay, how about we toast your newfound freedom? | 我们来为你的自由干杯吧 |
| [12:04] | Ah, normally I refrain from alcohol, | 通常我是不沾酒的 |
| [12:07] | but since my cerebral cortex is twiddling its proverbial thumbs, | 但我的大脑皮层已经在无聊地玩手指了 |
| [12:10] | why not soak it in grape juice | 不如就让它沉浸在 |
| [12:11] | that’s been predigested by a fungus? | 霉菌发酵过的葡萄汁里吧 |
| [12:15] | And you wonder why other children beat you with books. | 怪不得其他孩子要用书砸你呢 |
| [12:18] | Cheers! | 干杯 |
| [12:23] | Emily, what do you do? | 艾米丽 你是做什么工作的 |
| [12:24] | I’m a dermatology resident at Huntington Hospital. | 我是亨廷顿医院的皮肤科医师 |
| [12:27] | Mmm, and you know what that means. | 你们都懂其中的意思了吧 |
| [12:28] | Someone’s skin’s about to be softer than ever. | 有人的皮肤马上就要吹弹可破了 |
| [12:33] | This is making me crazy. | 这可折磨死我了 |
| [12:35] | I know I know you from somewhere. | 我知道我肯定在哪里见过你 |
| [12:37] | Oh, uh, Howard was an astronaut. | 霍华德曾经做过宇航员 |
| [12:39] | Maybe that’s where you saw him. | 也许你就是这么认识他的 |
| [12:41] | That’s amazing. | 太厉害了 |
| [12:42] | What was that like? | 那是什么样的感觉 |
| [12:43] | It was the most incredible experience of my life. | 是我人生中最难忘的体验 |
| [12:46] | Up there in the space station, you’re… | 在太空站里 人会… |
| [12:49] | Oh, my God, I remember. | 我的妈呀 我想起来了 |
| [12:52] | Can I finish my astronaut story? | 能让我把宇航员的故事说完吗 |
| [12:55] | It was four years ago. | 这事发生在四年前 |
| [12:56] | – Please don’t say it. – We were set up on a blind date. | -求求你别说出来 -别人介绍我们相亲 |
| [12:58] | – Please don’t say it. – You came to my apartment. | -别说下去了 拜托 -你来了我的公寓 |
| [13:00] | You’re saying it. | 你还是说出来了 |
| [13:02] | Well, wh-what happened? | 到底发生了什么 |
| [13:04] | – Yeah, what happened? – Okay, I’ll say it. | -是啊 发生了什么事 -好吧 我来说吧 |
| [13:07] | I was on the way to pick her up. | 我去她家接她 |
| [13:10] | My stomach felt a little funny. | 路上我的肠胃开始不舒服了 |
| [13:12] | When I got there, I asked if I could use her bathroom. | 所以到她家时 我借用了她的厕所 |
| [13:16] | Please don’t say it. | 求你别说了 |
| [13:20] | One roll of toilet paper and 20 minutes later, | 20分钟过去了 在用完一卷卫生纸后 |
| [13:23] | I was so humiliated, | 我实在是太羞愧难当 |
| [13:25] | I snuck out the window and never saw her again. | 于是我从窗口逃走了 再也没敢去见她 |
| [13:28] | You know what else I never saw again– | 你知道还有什么也跟着你消失了吗 |
| [13:30] | my security deposit. | 我付给房东的清洁押金 |
| [13:33] | I’m sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [13:34] | I tried to unclog it, but you didn’t have a plunger, | 我试着疏通马桶 可找不到马桶塞子 |
| [13:37] | and water was spilling out everywhere. | 水也流得到处都是 |
| [13:38] | Right, just water. | 对 流的只是”水”而已 |
| [13:42] | Look, I have felt terrible about this for years, | 这些年我都一直为这事而羞愧 |
| [13:45] | and I’m glad I have the opportunity | 我也很庆幸今天有这个机会 |
| [13:46] | to tell you just how sorry I am. | 当面向你表达我的歉意 |
| [13:49] | It’s fine. | 没关系 |
| [13:51] | All my friends love this story. | 我的朋友们都好爱这个故事 |
| [13:52] | They call you Clogzilla. | 他们叫你”卡屎拉” |
| [13:56] | Get it? | 你懂吗 |
| [13:57] | Because you clogged up her bathroom | 因为你是一只卡住了她家马桶的 |
| [13:58] | like a radioactive monster! | 怪兽哥斯拉 |
| [14:01] | Yeah, yeah, I get it. | 我听懂了 |
| [14:03] | Howie. | 华仔 |
| [14:04] | Well, hey, it’s not like cotton candy comes out of you. | 你拉的屎也没有跟棉花糖一样美啊 |
| [14:09] | Come on, let’s get you to bed. | 快点 我们回家睡觉了 |
| [14:11] | You’ve had a lot to drink. | 你可喝了不少呢 |
| [14:12] | – No more than Penny. – That’s what I’m saying. | -我不比佩妮喝得多 -所以说你喝了不少啊 |
| [14:15] | Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. | 等…等等 等一下 |
| [14:19] | Empty room. | 空房间 |
| [14:21] | Empty room. | 空房间 |
| [14:22] | Empty room. | 空房间 |
| [14:25] | If somebody says “Come in,” I’m gonna freak out. | 如果有人说”请进” 会把我吓死 |
| [14:33] | So, Emily, | 艾米丽 |
| [14:34] | why did you decide to specialize in dermatology? | 你为什么会选择专攻皮肤学呢 |
| [14:36] | I like cutting people with knives, | 我喜欢用刀割人 |
| [14:38] | and all the other jobs where you get to do that are illegal. | 而其它割人的工作都是违法的 |
| [14:43] | You’re kidding, right? | 你是开玩笑的吧 |
| [14:49] | She’s scary, but it’s a cute scary. | 她让人怕怕 不过是可爱的怕怕 |
| [14:53] | Can I say just one more thing? | 我可以再补充一点吗 |
| [14:54] | I had some kind of food poisoning that day. | 我那天是食物中毒了 |
| [14:57] | Sure, in retrospect, gas station sushi– | 当然现在回想起来 加油站寿司 |
| [15:00] | maybe not the best choice. | 不是什么明智的选择 |
| [15:02] | Nor was climbing out your window and running away. | 当然爬出你家窗户逃走也不对 |
| [15:05] | But I think we can all understand how humiliating that was, | 但我想 大家都能理解那情形有多丢人 |
| [15:07] | and I’d really appreciate it if we could move on. | 如果咱们能既往不咎 我会非常感激的 |
| [15:09] | Howie, we moved on a long time ago. | 华仔 已经既往不咎一段时间了 |
| [15:10] | – I’m just saying… – We moved on. | -我只是说…-已经既往不咎了 |
| [15:15] | Okay. Fine. | 好吧 行 |
| [15:20] | How’s your soup? | 你的汤怎么样 |
| [15:21] | Ah, it’s all right. | 还行 |
| [15:22] | They could’ve filled the bowl a little more. | 他们可以把碗[马桶]再装得满一点 |
| [15:29] | Excuse me. | 失陪一下 |
| [15:30] | Where are you going? | 你去哪里 |
| [15:31] | I need some fresh air. | 我需要呼吸下新鲜空气 |
| [15:32] | Been there. | 我当时也是 |
| [15:55] | Oh, no. | 我去 |
| [15:58] | What have I done? | 我做了什么 |
| [15:59] | 地质学 | |
| [16:24] | How you feeling? | 感觉怎样 |
| [16:26] | Not so good. | 不太好 |
| [16:29] | Are you gonna introduce me to your friend? | 不向我介绍一下你的这位朋友吗 |
| [16:33] | It’s not my friend. | 这不是我的朋友 |
| [16:35] | Nothing happened. | 什么事也没有发生 |
| [16:38] | I don’t know. I heard you reading pretty loud last night. | 是吗 你昨晚读它的声音可是相当”大”哦 |
| [16:43] | Oh, dear Lord. | 我的老天啊 |
| [16:46] | Where’s Amy? | 艾米呢 |
| [16:47] | After she put you to bed, she went home. | 她把你扶上床休息后就回家了 |
| [16:51] | I should call her and apologize. | 我应该打电话给她道歉 |
| [16:57] | – Oh, no. – What? | -不好 -怎么了 |
| [16:59] | Apparently, I called Stephen Hawking last night. | 看来我昨晚打了电话给史蒂芬·霍金 |
| [17:04] | S·W·霍金教授 | |
| [17:04] | First new message. | 第一条新留言 |
| [17:06] | Hawkman! | 霍哥 |
| [17:09] | It’s your old buddy Sheldonoscopy! | 我是你铁哥们儿谢肠镜啊 |
| [17:14] | How come you didn’t pick up the phone?! | 你为什么不接电话呢 |
| [17:16] | Oh, right. My bad. | 你的手动不了 我错了 |
| [17:24] | You’re awful quiet. Everything okay? | 你出奇的安静啊 还好吗 |
| [17:27] | Not really. | 不太好 |
| [17:29] | I had a bit of an embarrassing evening. | 我昨晚丢人丢大了 |
| [17:32] | Ugh. Me, too. What happened? | 我也是 发生了什么事 |
| [17:35] | I drank alcohol | 我喝了酒 |
| [17:37] | and may have left an unfortunate voice mail for Stephen Hawking. | 给史蒂芬·霍金留了一通很不妙的留言 |
| [17:42] | I wouldn’t worry about it. | 我觉得不用担心 |
| [17:44] | He’s got a pretty good sense of humor. | 他这人幽默感挺强的 |
| [17:47] | Oh, I hope so. | 希望如此 |
| [17:49] | What happened to you last night? | 你昨晚发生了什么事 |
| [17:51] | Oh, well, turns out | 原来 |
| [17:53] | I’d already met the girl Raj is seeing | 我以前见过拉杰的女友 |
| [17:56] | when I did a number on her bathroom. | 我当时在她家厕所留过号码 |
| [18:02] | And that number was two. | 而那号码是”大号” |
| [18:07] | Well, you know, I’ve always been a fan | 我一直很喜欢尼沙布尔的阿塔尔[诗人] |
| [18:10] | of a story told by Attar of Nishapur, | 写的一个故事 |
| [18:13] | about a king | 说的是一个国王 |
| [18:14] | who assembled a group of wise men to create a ring | 召集一群智者 制作一枚戒指 |
| [18:18] | that would make him happy when he was sad. | 让他在悲伤时能高兴起来 |
| [18:21] | And that ring | 这枚戒指上 |
| [18:23] | was inscribed with the phrase, “This too shall pass.” | 刻了一句话 “一切都会随风而逝” |
| [18:28] | – Hey, Cooper! – Oh, my God. | -库珀 -老天 |
| [18:31] | I heard you drunk-dialed Stephen Hawking last night? | 我听说你昨晚给霍金打了醉酒电话 |
| [18:35] | Classic! | 牛逼啊 |
| [18:36] | Get out of here, Barry. | 快走开 巴里 |
| [18:38] | Whatever you say… | 你说了算 |
| [18:40] | Clogzilla. | 卡屎拉 |
| [18:45] | Clogzilla. That’s pretty funny. | 卡屎拉 挺好笑的 |
| [18:49] | I don’t think that’s gonna pass. | 我不觉得有风能刮走”这坨屎” |
| [18:58] | Next message. | 下一条留言 |
| [18:59] | It’s me again! | 又是我 |
| [19:01] | I gave up string theory. | 我放弃弦理论了 |
| [19:04] | You should give up black holes, | 你也应该放弃黑洞 |
| [19:06] | and we can totally solve crimes together! | 咱俩搭档绝对是罪案克星 |
| [19:10] | Next message. | 下一条留言 |
| [19:11] | Do you know what’s great?! | 你知道什么超棒吗 |
| [19:14] | Geology. | 地质学 |
| [19:18] | Look at this geode! | 看这个晶洞 |
| [19:20] | That’s fun to say! | 这个词读起来真有意思 |
| [19:22] | Gee… ode! Gee… ode! | 进 洞 井 洞 |
| [19:27] | Next message. | 下一条留言 |
| [19:28] | Gee… ode! | 精 洞 |
| [19:31] | Gee… ode! | 茎 洞 |
| [19:34] | I kiss girls now. | 小弟现在会和女生打啵啵了 |
| [19:38] | Next message. | 下一条留言 |
| [19:39] | Hey, guess who I am! | 猜猜我是谁 |
| [19:41] | Beep bop boop bop! | 哔哔嘟嘟 |
| [19:42] | I’m you! Get it?! | 我是你 懂了吗 |
| [19:46] | Next message. | 下一条留言 |
| [19:47] | Are you mad at me? | 你生我的气了吗 |
| [19:50] | Oh, no, you’re mad at me. | 不好 你生人家的气了 |
| [19:54] | I’m so sorry! | 真是对不起 |
| [19:56] | Beep bop boop bop. | 哔哔嘟嘟 |
| [19:59] | Next message. | 下一条留言 |
| [20:01] | Thiospinel sulfide. Thiospinel sulfide. | 硫硼尖晶石 牛棚鸡鸡石 |
| [20:06] | That’s even more fun than “gee… ode.” | 这个念起来比”茎洞”更好玩 |
| [20:10] | Hey, did you see The Lego Movie? | 你看了《乐高大电影》吗 |
| [20:16] | What a jackass. | 傻逼 |