时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:15] | This is nice, that we all get to eat together. | 真好 大家能一起吃饭 |
[00:18] | Absolutely. | 超棒 |
[00:26] | Can we maybe put the phones down | 大家能放下手机 |
[00:27] | and have an actual human conversation? | 来点人类的真实交流吗 |
[00:30] | We can, | 可以是可以 |
[00:31] | but thanks to Steve Jobs, | 但多谢了史蒂夫·乔布斯 |
[00:32] | we don’t have to. | 我们不用那么麻烦 |
[00:36] | Guys, guys, | 各位 |
[00:36] | – you’re never gonna believe this. – What happened? | -我要说一件你们不会信的事 -什么事 |
[00:38] | I just got a part on a TV show! | 我要在电视剧上露脸啦 |
[00:40] | – Congratulations! – What? That’s great! | -恭喜你 -太好了 |
[00:41] | Guys! | 你们几个 |
[00:43] | – Oh, yeah! – Yay, Penny! | -好耶 -佩妮真棒 |
[00:46] | What’s the show? | 是哪部电视剧 |
[00:47] | Um, NC…II… | 叫海军罪案小卖部 |
[00:47] | NCIS 海军罪案调查处 美国知名电视影集 | |
[00:50] | or, you know, NCSTD… I don’t know, | 还是海军罪案性病处之类的 |
[00:53] | it’s-it’s the one with the letters and I’m gonna be on it! | 反正就是剧名全是字母的剧啦 |
[00:56] | – That’s amazing. – Yeah. | -真是太好了 -对啊 |
[00:58] | What’s your part? | 你演什么角色 |
[00:59] | Um, I play a customer in a diner | 我演餐厅里的客人 |
[01:01] | and I flirt with Mark Harmon. | 然后跟男主马克·哈蒙调情 |
[01:02] | Ooh, Mark Harmon, | 马克·哈蒙 |
[01:04] | he’s a dreamboat. | 他是个男神啊 |
[01:07] | So I-it’s just flirting? | 就调情戏而已吗 |
[01:09] | Well, yeah. Why? | 是啊 怎么了吗 |
[01:10] | Uh, no reason. | 没怎么 |
[01:11] | I just think it’s sexier when things are | 我只是觉得有些事 |
[01:12] | left to the imagination. | 在想象时最美 |
[01:16] | He’s wrong. | 此言大大差矣 |
[01:44] | So I-I read a study that says a man with a dog | 我看到一篇研究 说养狗的男人 |
[01:46] | is three times more likely to get a woman’s phone number. | 要到女生电话的几率比不养狗的高三倍 |
[01:49] | Is it true even when the man lets his dog | 就算那让狗舔舌头上的花生酱 |
[01:51] | lick peanut butter off his tongue? | 这男性几率也成立吗 |
[01:54] | I don’t see why not. | 为何会不成立 |
[01:57] | If you’re really desperate to meet women | 如果你真的对女人这么饥渴 |
[01:59] | and like having food eaten out of your mouth, | 又喜欢别人从你嘴里吃东西 |
[02:01] | I could set you up with my mom. | 我可以介绍我妈给你 |
[02:05] | Why is that funny? | 这有什么好笑 |
[02:07] | That’s just unhygienic. | 这超不卫生 |
[02:11] | It’s a joke. | 玩笑而已 |
[02:12] | I don’t think so. | 我不这么认为 |
[02:14] | I believe that a joke | 我认为一个笑话 |
[02:16] | is a brief oral narrative | 是简短的口头小故事 |
[02:17] | with a climactic humorous twist. | 带有着超幽默的剧情反转 |
[02:19] | For example, uh, Wolowitz’s mother is so fat | 举个例子 沃罗威茨的母亲超肥 |
[02:23] | that she decided to go on a diet… | 她决定节食 |
[02:25] | or exercise, or both. | 或锻炼 或双管齐下 |
[02:31] | See? | 听到没 |
[02:32] | The twist is that people don’t usually change. | 反转就是人们通常死性不改 |
[02:38] | Well, they don’t. | 就是不会改嘛 |
[02:42] | Hey, guys, don’t forget, | 各位 别忘了 |
[02:42] | my episode’s on TV tomorrow night. | 明晚我参演的电视就播出啦 |
[02:44] | – We’ll be there. – Can we bring anything? | -我们会去看的 -要带什么吃的吗 |
[02:46] | Oh, that’s so sweet of you, | 你真是太好了 |
[02:47] | but I was gonna steal food from here. | 但我打算从这里顺点吃的回去 |
[02:49] | You know… my treat. | 你懂 我请客嘛 |
[02:51] | Wait, if Howard’s mother is coming, | 慢着 如果霍华德的母亲也去 |
[02:53] | then you should also steal marbles. | 你就应该还顺点弹珠 |
[03:00] | Because she’s obese, | 因为她有肥胖症 |
[03:01] | and hippos are obese, | 河马也超肥 |
[03:02] | and in the popular board game “Hungry Hungry Hippos,” | 而在受欢迎的桌游”饥饿河马”中 |
[03:05] | they eat marbles. | 它们吃弹珠 |
[03:12] | Maybe I need to dumb these down for you. | 也许我该对你们说傻逼点的笑话 |
[03:17] | Leonard, do you think I’m funny? | 莱纳德 你觉得我好笑吗 |
[03:19] | No. | 不 |
[03:24] | Do you? | 你自己觉得呢 |
[03:25] | I think I’m hysterical. | 我觉得我超级好笑 |
[03:29] | I take it back. | 我收回刚才这句 |
[03:30] | That was funny. | 你这句的确好笑 |
[03:33] | The philosopher Henri Bergson says | 但哲学家亨利·柏格林说 |
[03:35] | it’s funny when a human being behaves like an object. | 当人类表现得和物体一样时 就会很好笑 |
[03:40] | I bet that bit killed at The Chuckle Hut. | 他这段子在相声秀上肯定火啊 |
[03:44] | Oh, he didn’t perform stand-up comedy, | 他不表演单口相声 |
[03:46] | he was a philosopher. | 他是个哲学家 |
[03:50] | You know, I think we’re zeroing in on your problem. | 我想我们已经找到你不好笑的问题所在了 |
[03:54] | Perhaps I’ll spend some time | 也许我应该花点时间 |
[03:56] | developing a unified theory of comedy, | 形成统一的喜剧理论 |
[03:58] | which will allow me to elicit laughter | 可以让我随时激发 |
[04:00] | from anyone at any time. | 任何人的笑声 |
[04:02] | Unless they’re German, | 除非取悦对象是德国人 |
[04:03] | ’cause that’s a tough crowd. | 因为他们的笑点太高了 |
[04:07] | Are you set on people laughing with you? | 你要致力于让别人与你共欢笑吗 |
[04:10] | ‘Cause if you’re cool with at you… | 因为如果你对被嘲笑没意见的话… |
[04:19] | I don’t get it. | 我不明白 |
[04:22] | Raj, when you said you were gonna bring a date | 拉杰 你说你今晚会带个伴 |
[04:24] | to watch Penny’s thing tonight, | 去看佩妮的电视剧 |
[04:25] | I didn’t think you meant Stuart. | 我没想到你指的是斯图尔特 |
[04:29] | Really? | 是吗 |
[04:30] | I never for a second | 我从来没想过 |
[04:31] | thought it’d be anything else. | 还有可能是其他人 |
[04:34] | I almost met someone last night, but I blew it. | 我昨晚差点泡到个妞 但结果还是吹了 |
[04:37] | I was walking Cinnamon | 我在遛小桂子 |
[04:38] | and this girl introduced herself, | 那个女生自我介绍 |
[04:40] | but she was so cute I panicked | 她太可爱了 我慌了 |
[04:42] | and said, “Wouldn’t it be easier | 我说 比起交谈 |
[04:44] | if instead of talking we could just sniff each other’s butts?” | 我们互相闻菊花不是更简单吗 |
[04:49] | Well, Stuart’s cute in his own way. | 斯图尔特也有独特的可爱之处 |
[04:51] | When I was a baby, | 我还是宝宝时 |
[04:52] | my mother called me her little possum. | 我妈妈管我叫她的小负鼠 |
[04:55] | Are possums cute? | 负鼠可爱吗 |
[04:56] | Not at all. | 简直是魔鬼 |
[04:59] | If you’re so intimidated | 如果你这么害怕 |
[05:00] | by talking to attractive girls, | 和美女交谈 |
[05:02] | maybe you should practice by talking to regular people. | 也许你应该练习和普通人说话 |
[05:05] | You mean like fatties and uggos? | 你是说肥猪和恐龙妹吗 |
[05:09] | Or maybe just stop talking. | 或者干脆都别说话了 |
[05:12] | I’m serious. | 我是认真的 |
[05:13] | Go to the mall, talk to anybody, practice– | 去商场 随便找个人说话当练习 |
[05:16] | that way, when you eventually do talk to a cute girl, | 这样的话 等你真有机会跟一个美女说话 |
[05:17] | it won’t be so scary. | 就不会觉得那么害怕了 |
[05:19] | Or just keep dating the possum. | 或者继续跟负鼠约会算了 |
[05:26] | Parsa doesn’t have those kind of resources. | 帕尔萨没有那方面的资源 |
[05:28] | No, and that’s why he had Erin Pace rewire it… | 不 所以他让艾琳·佩斯重发一遍 |
[05:31] | I’m so proud of you. | 我真为你感到骄傲 |
[05:32] | – We haven’t even gotten to my scene yet. – I know, | -我都还没有出场呢 -我知道 |
[05:34] | but you’re going to be a TV star | 但你即将成为电视明星 |
[05:36] | and you haven’t left me yet. That takes guts. | 而你还没有甩掉我 这需要莫大的勇气啊 |
[05:40] | I don’t know about you, | 我不知道你感觉如何 |
[05:41] | – but I’m very uncomfortable with all this. – Why? | -但这让我感到非常不舒服 -为什么 |
[05:44] | I’ve never seen this show before | 我之前从来没看过这个剧 |
[05:46] | and now I’m starting with episode 246? | 而现在居然让我从246集看起 |
[05:51] | It’s unnatural. | 这有违自然规律 |
[05:54] | Just think of the first 245 as the prequel. | 你就把前面245集当是前传嘛 |
[05:58] | All right. | 好吧 |
[06:01] | Okay, shh. Guys, guys, this is it. | 好啦 各位 我要出场啦 |
[06:02] | I guess it’s you and me, kid. | 现在就剩咱俩了 小姑娘 |
[06:05] | What are you doing? | 你有何目的 |
[06:06] | I’m trying to make peace. | 我是来讲和的 |
[06:08] | – We’re good. – Good. | -我们没事啊 -很好 |
[06:09] | – Really? Because… – Are you kidding me? | -真的吗 -开什么玩笑 |
[06:11] | What’s wrong? | 怎么了 |
[06:12] | Well… the diner scene. | 餐厅的场戏没了 |
[06:14] | Where’s my diner scene? | 我餐厅那场戏呢 |
[06:15] | Well, don’t ask me. | 别问我 |
[06:16] | Until I see the prequel, I’m lost. | 等我看完前传再说 我现在迷糊了 |
[06:19] | No, there was supposed to be a big scene with me and Mark Harmon, | 不对啊 应该有一场我和马克·哈蒙的对手戏 |
[06:22] | – but I-it’s… gone. – What happened? | -但不见了 -怎么会这样 |
[06:25] | They must’ve cut it. | 一定是他们剪掉了 |
[06:27] | Oh, Penny… | 可怜的佩妮 |
[06:30] | I’m… I’m sorry. | 真为你感到惋惜 |
[06:32] | – That stinks. – I’m sure you were great. | -太过分了 -我肯定你演得很棒 |
[06:34] | This doesn’t make any sense. | 这不合理啊 |
[06:35] | I mean, I… | 我是说 |
[06:36] | I thought I did a… a really good job, I… | 我以为自己演得很好 我… |
[06:41] | Excuse me. | 失陪一下 |
[06:47] | I’ve been studying how to make people laugh. | 我一直在学习如何逗人发笑 |
[06:54] | They say that comedy | 他们说喜剧就是 |
[06:55] | is tragedy plus time. | 悲剧加上时间 |
[07:00] | Let’s tickle some ribs. | 我们去逗她开心吧 |
[07:06] | No, Dad, | 不 爸 |
[07:07] | I don’t think they cut me out of the show | 我不认为他们剪掉我的戏份 |
[07:08] | because I was too pretty. | 是因为我太漂亮 |
[07:12] | No, I don’t need you to come out | 不要 我不用你亲自出马 |
[07:14] | and kick Mark Harmon’s ass. | 毒打马克·哈蒙一顿 |
[07:19] | Daddy, I gotta go. | 爸 我得挂了 |
[07:20] | I love you. Bye. | 我爱你 再见 |
[07:22] | How you doing? | 你还好吗 |
[07:24] | Ugh, this is such a disaster. | 家里都乱成一锅粥了 |
[07:26] | My parents had all my relatives over. | 我父母把我所有亲戚都叫过来 |
[07:28] | They got one of those six-foot sandwiches, | 他们还买了根六英尺长的三明治 |
[07:31] | and got my brother a day pass out of rehab and… | 还把我弟弟从戒毒所接出来一天 |
[07:35] | …now he’s missing | 现在他人不见了 |
[07:37] | and the sandwich is missing, and… | 那超大根三明治也不见了 |
[07:39] | They’re probably in Mexico by now. | 他们可能已经到了墨西哥了吧 |
[07:42] | So humiliating. | 真丢脸 |
[07:44] | You still got the part. | 你还是得到了那个角色 |
[07:45] | That’s a huge accomplishment. | 那可是巨大的成就啊 |
[07:47] | Yeah, but this was supposed to be my break, okay? | 对 但这次本来会是我的突破 |
[07:48] | People were gonna see me in this show | 人们会在这剧中看见我 |
[07:50] | and it was gonna lead to bigger things. | 然后会演变成更大的效应 |
[07:51] | More auditions, more parts… | 更多试镜 更多角色 |
[07:53] | Now none of that’s gonna happen. | 而现在这些都不可能发生了 |
[07:54] | Honey, you only had, like, three lines. | 亲爱的 你在剧中不过就三句台词而已 |
[07:56] | That wasn’t gonna happen anyway. | 所以本来这些就不可能发生 |
[08:01] | – Unbelievable. – Come on… | -我信了你的邪 -拜托 |
[08:04] | no, that’s not what I meant. | 不 我不是那个意思 |
[08:06] | – Then what did you mean? – I don’t… | -那你是什么意思 -我不是… |
[08:07] | Look, you know, words don’t always have to mean things. | 有时候说话不一定非得要有意思 |
[08:11] | I think you meant that you don’t believe in me. | 我觉得你是说你不相信我的实力 |
[08:13] | Nope. | 不是 |
[08:14] | I might not know what I-I meant, | 我可能不知道我刚是什么意思 |
[08:16] | but I know that I didn’t mean that. | 但我知道我肯定没有那个意思 |
[08:18] | Not this guy. Oh, no way. | 我绝不会这样 不可能 |
[08:21] | I want you, right now, | 我要你 现在 |
[08:22] | – to give me your 100% honest opinion. – Right. | -如实告诉我你真实的想法 -好的 |
[08:25] | Do you think I have what it takes | 你到底认为我有没有能力 |
[08:27] | to really make it as an actress? – Yes. | -成为真正的女演员 -有 |
[08:29] | So you think I’ll be on TV | 所以你认为我能上电视 |
[08:30] | and in movies and win awards. | 拍电影 并且获奖吗 |
[08:32] | – Honestly? – Yes, honestly. | -说实话 -好 实话说 |
[08:35] | I don’t. | 我不这么认为 |
[08:37] | How could you say that? | 你怎么能这样说呢 |
[08:39] | I don’t know… | 我不知道 |
[08:40] | I got all confused when you said “honestly”. | 当你说”说实话”时 我脑子就不转了 |
[08:45] | Look, do I think that you are talented | 我觉得你有演员天赋 |
[08:48] | and that you are beautiful? | 你外表出众吗 |
[08:49] | Of course I do. | 我当然觉得 |
[08:50] | But isn’t Los Angeles full of actresses | 但洛杉矶满大街都是有天赋 |
[08:53] | who are just as talented, just as beautiful? | 外表出众的女演员啊 |
[08:57] | All right, look… we’ll come back to that. | 算了 这个晚点再说 |
[08:59] | No, please. Don’t stop, go on. | 不 别停 继续说 |
[09:00] | Tell me how I’m gonna be a waitress for the rest of my life. | 告诉我 老娘这辈子就是服务员的命 |
[09:03] | That is not what I said. | 我可没这么说 |
[09:05] | Look, I think you’re really good. | 听着 我认为你很棒 |
[09:07] | I truly do. | 真心的 |
[09:09] | But this is an incredibly hard thing that you’re shooting for. | 但是你奋斗的目标实在是太困难了 |
[09:12] | I mean, the odds of anyone becoming a successful actor | 我是说 普通人想成为成功演员的机会 |
[09:15] | are like a million to one. | 实在是难于上青天啊 |
[09:17] | Wow, thank you. | 谢谢你的”安慰” |
[09:26] | Should’ve let Sheldon come. | 早知道就让谢尔顿来了 |
[09:32] | This is interesting. | 这倒挺有意思的 |
[09:34] | Apparently, a key component in some forms of humor | 有某些耍幽默方式的关键 |
[09:38] | is the element of surprise. | 就是要让人吓一跳 |
[09:40] | Well, that makes sense. | 有道理 |
[09:42] | The prefrontal cortex is responsible for | 前额皮质的主要功能就是 |
[09:44] | planning and anticipation, | 计划和预测 |
[09:46] | and patients with brain lesions on their… | 大脑受到损伤的病患会 |
[09:48] | Brain lesions! | 脑损伤 |
[09:55] | Sheldon, you scared me. | 谢尔顿 你吓死我了 |
[09:56] | That wasn’t funny. | 一点也不好笑 |
[09:58] | Or maybe you have a stick up your prefrontal cortex. | 我看是你的前额皮质被棍捅了吧 |
[10:03] | Okay, the notion that you can read a few books | 得了吧 你自以为读了几本书 |
[10:06] | and come up with a definitive theory of comedy is absurd. | 就能找出绝对的搞笑理论 也太荒谬了 |
[10:09] | I mean, humor is | 真正的幽默是 |
[10:10] | a complex neurological… | 神经上错综复杂的 |
[10:18] | – Okay, that’s pretty good. – Excellent. | -这个挺好笑的 -大功告成 |
[10:29] | How about her? | 那个女的怎么样 |
[10:30] | No! | 不行 |
[10:31] | No pretty girls! | 不能找太漂亮的 |
[10:32] | The point is to talk to regular people | 我们得先从普通人开始练习 |
[10:34] | – and work our way up to pretty girls. – Fine. | -然后慢慢提到漂亮女孩 -好吧 |
[10:38] | How about that old lady with the walker? | 那位带着助步器的老太太怎么样 |
[10:42] | That depends. | 这得看情况了 |
[10:43] | On any level, do you think she’s hot? | 在某种角度上看 你觉得她性感呢 |
[10:47] | We’ll find somebody else. | 还是找下一位吧 |
[10:52] | Kumquat? | 金橘 |
[10:56] | I guess. | 凑合吧 |
[11:00] | Ointment? | 软油膏 |
[11:04] | Sure. | 行 |
[11:06] | Now, would you say ointment | 那么你觉得软油膏是比金橘 |
[11:08] | is more, equal to, or less funny than kumquat? | 更好笑 一样好笑 还是更不好笑呢 |
[11:15] | I don’t think I want to go out with you anymore. | 我再也不想和你一起玩了 |
[11:20] | Will you please stop joking around? | 你别跟我开玩笑了好吗 |
[11:21] | I’m trying to figure this out. | 我可是认真地在比较呢 |
[11:24] | Sheldon, how many words are you gonna go through? | 谢尔顿 你打算还要问多少个词啊 |
[11:26] | All of them. | 全部词 |
[11:30] | You didn’t get your part cut. | 你的戏份没有被砍 |
[11:33] | All right, baby, here’s the deal. | 好了宝贝 听我说 |
[11:35] | And you didn’t get your part cut. | 你的戏份也没有被砍 |
[11:39] | Yep, bunch of old guys rocking out in a band, | 一帮老得不能勃起的老头子 |
[11:41] | all with erectile dysfunction, | 蹦蹦跳跳玩乐团 |
[11:43] | you didn’t get your part cut! | 你们的戏份居然也没有被砍 |
[11:50] | Can we talk? | 能和你聊聊吗 |
[11:51] | We can, but the part of Penny might get cut. | 可以聊 但佩妮的部份可能会被砍掉 |
[11:56] | That was really crappy of me. | 我之前实在太差劲了 |
[12:00] | What you’re trying to do is hard, | 演员这一行要出名实在不容易 |
[12:02] | but people do make it, | 但也有人成功过 |
[12:04] | and I really do believe you could be one of them. | 我发自内心地相信你也能是成功的一员 |
[12:07] | Thank you. | 谢了 |
[12:10] | And… | 而且 |
[12:11] | to show you how much I believe in you, | 为了表示我对你有信心 |
[12:13] | I kind of got you an audition. | 我帮你争取到了一个试镜机会 |
[12:16] | Are you serious? For what? | 真的吗 什么戏 |
[12:18] | – The new Star Wars movie. – What?! | -最新的《星球大战》电影 -什么 |
[12:21] | How did you manage that?! | 你怎么办到的 |
[12:23] | There’s this thing online, you put yourself on tape | 现在正好有个网上活动 自己录一段影 |
[12:25] | and just send it in– anyone can do it. | 发送过去 任何人都有机会 |
[12:29] | Come on Leonard, this is just a PR stunt. | 拜托 莱纳德 这不过是宣传的噱头而已 |
[12:31] | So? Even if it is, you have a huge advantage | 那又怎么样 就算是噱头 你还是有优势啊 |
[12:35] | because you’re an actual actress. | 你可是货真价实的女演员呢 |
[12:36] | Most of the people doing this are just weirdoes and nerds. | 其他参加试镜的都是些怪咖和宅男 |
[12:41] | Wolowitz sent his in two days ago. | 沃罗威茨前两天就把他的录像发过去了 |
[12:45] | Really, let it go. | 够了 别说这事了 |
[12:46] | Look, maybe it is a long shot, | 听我说 也许这事希望渺茫 |
[12:48] | but sometimes long shots happen. | 但有时皇天不负有心人 |
[12:50] | Luke Skywalker was only given one chance | 卢克·天行者只有一次机会 |
[12:52] | to destroy the Death Star. | 毁灭死星 |
[12:54] | He had to get a torpedo into an exhaust port | 他必须把鱼雷投进一个废气口 |
[12:56] | that was only two meters wide, | 可气口只有2米宽而已 |
[12:58] | but with the help of The Force, he… | 但在原力的帮助下 他终于… |
[13:00] | Wow, I can feel you hating me right now. | 我感觉到你对我的恨意 |
[13:07] | How about that lady in the sweat suit, speed-walking? | 那边穿着运动装快走的女士怎么样 |
[13:09] | Yeah, she seems friendly and easy to… | 她人看着挺和善 挺容易 |
[13:12] | Never mind, she’s gone. | 没戏了 她走得不见人影了 |
[13:16] | Yeah, maybe talking to people is too hard. | 看来和人交流还是太难了 |
[13:20] | We could go over to that department store, | 我们可以去百货商店 |
[13:22] | practice on the mannequins. | 用人体模特进行练习啊 |
[13:24] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
[13:25] | They’re dressed very stylishly. | 那些模特穿得很有型 |
[13:26] | They’re probably stuck-up. | 估计个性也是跩翻天 |
[13:30] | This is ridiculous. | 这一切太荒唐了 |
[13:32] | The next person that walks by, | 下一个走过来的人 |
[13:33] | no matter who it is, they’re the one. | 不管是什么人 都是我们的交流对象 |
[13:40] | We’re gonna die here. | 我们这辈子注定死在这里了 |
[13:45] | – Hello. – Hey. | -你们好 -你好啊 |
[13:47] | Where’s Sheldon? | 谢尔顿呢 |
[13:48] | He’s home trying to use science | 他窝在家里努力用科学的方法 |
[13:50] | to determine the basis of humor. | 研究幽默的本质呢 |
[13:52] | – That’s interesting. – It’s exhausting. | -那可挺有趣的 -是累死人才对 |
[13:54] | Do you have any idea how hard it is | 你们知道一个”敲敲门笑话” |
[13:55] | to laugh at a knock-knock joke that starts with, | 以谢尔顿的方式来讲会有多难笑吗 |
[13:58] | “Knock-knock-knock, Amy, | “敲敲敲 艾米” |
[13:59] | knock-knock-knock, Amy, knock-knock-knock, Amy”? | “敲敲敲 艾米 敲敲敲 艾米” |
[14:03] | If you want him to stop, | 你想让他闭嘴 |
[14:03] | sometimes the easiest thing to do is just fake a laugh. | 有时候假笑几声就是最简单的办法 |
[14:07] | Fake a laugh? | 假笑 |
[14:11] | Do you ever do that with me? | 你这招也用来对付过我吗 |
[14:13] | No, of course not. | 当然没有啦 |
[14:16] | Well, I’d be able to tell anyway. | 反正我能看得出来 |
[14:18] | I don’t think you would. | 我不觉得 |
[14:21] | Please, I’ve made plenty of girls laugh, | 拜托 我曾逗得大把女生笑得花枝乱颤 |
[14:23] | sometimes just by asking them out. | 有时候约她们出去就超级有笑点了 |
[14:58] | Yeah? Well, I fake my orgasms. | 你就假笑吧 我还假高潮呢 |
[15:02] | Yes, how much for a hundred long-stemmed red roses? | 一百朵长茎红玫瑰多少钱 |
[15:08] | Really? | 真的吗 |
[15:10] | How much for three? | 三朵呢 |
[15:15] | Yeah, I’ll call you back. | 我等下再打 |
[15:18] | Look, I know you were just trying to help | 我知道你是想用《星战》什么的 |
[15:21] | with your Star Wars thing. | 来鼓励我 |
[15:22] | I didn’t mean to call it idiotic. | 我不是有意评价为”白痴”的 |
[15:25] | Well, I don’t think you called it idiotic. | 我想你给出的评价不是”白痴” |
[15:28] | Sorry, I meant to. | 抱歉 我本来想评价为”白痴” |
[15:32] | Anyway, um, I was just upset with myself. | 总之 我只是跟我自己过不去 |
[15:35] | I wasn’t mad at you. | 我并没有生你的气 |
[15:38] | I just feel like everything is falling apart. | 我只是觉得人生支离破碎了 |
[15:41] | Come on. It’s okay. | 别这样 没事的 |
[15:42] | No, it’s not okay! Look at me, okay?! | 不 有事 看我混的 |
[15:44] | I took a temp job as a waitress forever ago, | 多年以前打了份服务员的临时工 |
[15:47] | and I’m still doing it. | 现在还在做 |
[15:48] | I can’t quit, because guess what? | 我不能辞职 猜猜原因 |
[15:50] | I can’t do anything else. | 其它工作我都做不了 |
[15:51] | And I finally get my big break, | 我终于等来了事业大转折 |
[15:53] | and it goes away! | 结果机会就这样没了 |
[15:54] | I’m such a mess. | 我太失败了 |
[15:56] | – No, you’re not. – Really?! | -你不失败 -是吗 |
[15:57] | ‘Cause this morning at Starbucks, | 今天早上在星巴克 |
[15:58] | a pair of old underwear fell out of my pant leg! | 一条脏内裤从我裤管里掉了出来 |
[16:04] | And it wasn’t the only one in there. | 只掉了一条 里面还有 |
[16:09] | Okay, listen to me, this is just a minor setback. | 听我说 这只是一点小挫折 |
[16:12] | No, it’s not, okay?! | 这不是 明白吗 |
[16:13] | I’ve been out here for, like, ten years! | 我已经离家十年了 |
[16:15] | I’ve nothing to show for it! | 我依然一无所有 |
[16:17] | Well, you have me. | 你有我啊 |
[16:19] | You’re right. | 你是对的 |
[16:23] | I do have you. | 我的确拥有你 |
[16:28] | Let’s get married. | 咱们结婚吧 |
[16:32] | What? | 什么 |
[16:39] | Leonard Hofstadter… | 莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德 |
[16:41] | will you marry me? | 你愿意娶我吗 |
[16:48] | Did you seriously just say, “Um”?! | 你刚才那一声是在犹豫吗 |
[16:53] | Look, you know I love you, | 你知道我爱你 |
[16:55] | but-but you’re-you’re drunk and sad and feeling lost… | 但你喝醉了 一时伤心迷惘 |
[16:58] | Okay, so-so you don’t want to marry me?! | 好吧 你不想娶我吗 |
[17:01] | That is not what I said. | 我不是这样说的 |
[17:02] | No, forget it! I take it back! Offer’s off the table! | 算了 我收回求婚 就当我没说过 |
[17:05] | Who’s in the mood to laugh?! | 谁想好好乐一乐 |
[17:10] | Really not a good time. | 真的不是什么好时机 |
[17:11] | But I used science to construct the perfect joke. | 但我运用科学构建了最完美的笑话 |
[17:14] | – I’m gonna go. – Penny, don’t. | -我走了 -佩妮 别走 |
[17:16] | No, no, I just need to be alone. | 不 我要一个人安静下 |
[17:21] | 经典笑话段子的开头大合集 | |
[17:22] | So, a sandwich, a rabbi | 三明治 犹太牧师 |
[17:24] | and yo mama walk into a bar. | 和你老妈走进一间酒吧 |
[17:27] | – Where are you going? – To my room. | -你去哪里 -我的房间 |
[17:29] | – Should I follow you? – No. | -我应该跟着你吗 -不用 |
[17:32] | – Leonard, wait. – What? | -莱纳德 等等 -什么事 |
[17:34] | I forgot to tell you the sandwich is promiscuous. | 我忘了告诉你 这三明治很淫乱 |
[17:48] | How about those guys on that bench over there? | 那边长凳上的家伙怎么样 |
[17:50] | They look pathetic. | 一脸悲催样 |
[17:51] | I bet we could talk to them. | 我打赌和他们有共同话题 |
[17:54] | That’s a mirror. | 那边是镜子 |
[17:58] | Oh, yeah. | 是的 |
[18:01] | Hey, fellas, mall’s closing. | 小伙子 商场要关门了 |
[18:03] | – Sorry. – Yeah. Good night. | -抱歉 -晚安 |
[18:06] | Uh, excuse me. | 打扰下 |
[18:08] | Yeah? | 什么事 |
[18:11] | Uh, do-do you like being a mall security guard? | 你喜欢做商场保安吗 |
[18:15] | It’s all right. | 还行 |
[18:17] | Okay, nice talking to you. | 和你聊天很开心 |
[18:23] | Smooth…! | 高手啊 |
[18:35] | Can’t sleep? | 睡不着吗 |
[18:37] | No. | 睡不着 |
[18:43] | Would you like to talk about it? | 想聊聊吗 |
[18:47] | Penny proposed, and I didn’t say yes. | 佩妮向我求婚 我没答应 |
[18:52] | Why not? | 为什么 |
[18:56] | That’s a good question. | 问得好 |
[19:00] | Does that mean the relationship is over? | 这意味着你们分手了吗 |
[19:03] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
[19:06] | Why don’t you ask her? | 你为什么不问她 |
[19:10] | Because I’m afraid to know the answer. | 因为我害怕知道答案 |
[19:20] | I’m sorry. | 太遗憾了 |
[19:24] | That’s it? | 就这样吗 |
[19:26] | You’re not gonna make some dumb joke | 你不打算来一个蹩脚笑话 |
[19:28] | or some inappropriate comment? | 或是发表令人哭笑不得的评论吗 |
[19:31] | No. | 不 |
[19:33] | You’re my friend, and… | 你是我的朋友 |
[19:34] | I’m sorry. | 我为你惋惜 |
[19:43] | Did you just put a “Kick me” sign on my back? | 你刚在我背上贴了一张”踢我”的字条吗 |
[19:52] | No. | 没 |
[19:54] | That wouldn’t be funny at all. | 那样怎么会好笑呢 |
[20:09] | Star Wars audition, take one… | 《星战》试镜 第一拍 |
[20:12] | starring Howard Joel Wolowitz, | 霍华德·乔尔·沃罗威茨饰演 |
[20:15] | real-life astronaut. | 我是货真价实的宇航员哦 |
[20:23] | Vader is here… | 维达在这里 |
[20:25] | now… on this moon. | 现在 在这个月亮上 |
[20:28] | I felt his presence. | 我感觉到了他的存在 |
[20:30] | He’s come for me. | 他冲我来了 |
[20:32] | He can feel when I’m near… | 我在附近他就会感觉到 |
[20:34] | How many times do I have to tell you | 要我跟你说多少遍 |
[20:35] | to replace the toilet paper when it’s empty?! | 厕纸用完了就得补充新的 |
[20:39] | – I’m in the middle of something! – So am I! | -我有重要事正忙到一半 -我也是 |