时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:10] | So what’d you think? | 你觉得如何 |
[00:11] | It was good. | 还不错 |
[00:12] | That’s it? | 就这样吗 |
[00:14] | “Good”? | “还不错” |
[00:15] | I enjoyed it. | 我看得挺开心啊 |
[00:17] | When you told me I was going to be “losing my virginity,” | 你说要让我”体验第一次”的时候 |
[00:19] | I didn’t think you meant showing me | 我没有想到你是指 |
[00:20] | Raiders of the Lost Ark for the first time. | “第一次”看《夺宝奇兵》啊 |
[00:20] | 动作冒险电影 1981年的年度票房冠军 | |
[00:24] | My apologies. I chose my words poorly. | 我的错 我用词太不准确了 |
[00:27] | I should have said you were about | 我应该说 “你将会 |
[00:28] | to have your world rocked on my couch. | 在我沙发上爽入云霄” |
[00:33] | Anyway, thank you for watching it. | 总之 谢谢你陪我看完 |
[00:35] | It’s one of my all-time favorites. | 这是我最爱的电影之一 |
[00:38] | It was very entertaining… | 这电影娱乐性非常高 |
[00:39] | despite the glaring story problem. | 可惜情节漏洞百出 |
[00:43] | Story problem?! | 情节漏洞百出 |
[00:45] | You– oh, Amy… | 你… 艾米 |
[00:49] | What a dewy-eyed moon-calf you are. | 你真是好傻好天真啊 |
[00:52] | Raiders of the Lost Ark is the love child | 《夺宝奇兵》这电影 |
[00:55] | of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, | 是斯蒂芬·斯皮尔伯格与乔治·卢卡斯 |
[00:57] | two of the most gifted filmmakers of our generation. | 这两位当代最有才制片人的心血结晶 |
[01:00] | I’ve watched it 36 times, | 我看了足足有36遍 |
[01:02] | except for the snake scene and the face-melting scene, | 除了满是蛇与脸融化的那两幕 |
[01:06] | which I can only watch when it’s still light out, but… | 只有天还亮的时候我才敢看 但… |
[01:09] | I defy you to find a story problem. | 有本事你说出个情节漏洞我听听 |
[01:12] | Here’s my jaw… | 让我的下巴 |
[01:14] | drop it. | 吓掉吧 |
[01:16] | All right. | 行啊 |
[01:18] | Indiana Jones plays no role | 主角印第安纳·琼斯的存在 |
[01:20] | in the outcome of the story. | 对电影的结局没有任何影响 |
[01:22] | If he weren’t in the film, | 就算把他从故事里删掉 |
[01:23] | it would turn out exactly the same. | 电影结局也不会有任何差别 |
[01:26] | Oh, I see your confusion. You don’t understand. | 我知道你问题在哪了 你没搞清楚 |
[01:29] | Indiana Jones was the one in the hat with the whip. | 戴帽子拿鞭子那男的才是印第安纳·琼斯 |
[01:34] | No, I do, | 我当然知道 |
[01:35] | and if he weren’t in the movie, | 就算电影里没他 |
[01:37] | the Nazis would have still found the ark, | 纳粹还是会找到法柜 |
[01:39] | taken it to the island, opened it up and all died… | 送上孤岛 打开法柜 然后死光光 |
[01:42] | just like they did. | 跟有他的版本一样 |
[01:49] | Let me close that for ya. | 我替你把下巴合上吧 |
[02:20] | I thought you went to the comic book store on Wednesdays. | 你不都是周三才去逛漫画店的吗 |
[02:23] | Yeah, but Sheldon and Amy were having date night | 但谢尔顿跟艾米今晚是约会之夜 |
[02:26] | and they don’t need me there to make it awkward. | 他们不需要我来把场面弄尴尬 |
[02:29] | They have each other for that. | 他们靠彼此就够尴尬了 |
[02:33] | So, how was school? | 最近课上得怎么样 |
[02:34] | Oh, good. Check it out. | 很好啊 你看 |
[02:35] | The Disappointing Child by Beverly Hofstadter. | 《扶不起的阿斗》 作者是贝芙莉·霍夫斯塔德 |
[02:48] | – You bought my mom’s book? – Yeah! | -你居然买我妈的书 -对啊 |
[02:51] | It’s on the recommended reading list for my psychology class. | 这是我心理学课的推荐读物呢 |
[02:58] | Come on. Not that book. | 不是吧 选其他本书啊 |
[03:00] | It-It’s got, like, every horrible story | 里面详细记录了我从小到大 |
[03:03] | from my childhood in it. | 每一段丢人事 |
[03:06] | Oh, cool. Are there pictures? | 太棒了 书里有照片吗 |
[03:10] | Seriously, please find another book. | 求你了 换一本书吧 |
[03:12] | Oh, come on. Why? How bad could it be? | 拜托 能把你写得多糟糕啊 |
[03:14] | There-There’s chapters about potty training, | 里面有章节是写训练我如厕 |
[03:17] | and bed-wetting and… | 写尿床 |
[03:19] | masturbation. | 以及自慰 |
[03:23] | Basically, if something came out of me, | 基本上 有东西从我体内出来 |
[03:25] | she wrote about it! | 她都有写下来 |
[03:28] | You know what? Do whatever you want, | 这样吧 你想看就看 |
[03:30] | just don’t talk to me about it. | 但看完别来跟我谈论 |
[03:32] | Not even the chapter on the breast-feeding crisis? | 连”喂奶危机”那一段都不能聊吗 |
[03:40] | It was not a crisis. | 才不是什么危机咧 |
[03:43] | Apparently, I favored the left one, | 也就是我比较喜欢吸左奶 |
[03:45] | she got a little lopsided. | 害她左右不平衡罢了 |
[03:49] | Oh, my God, you still go left! | 天啊 你现在还是挑左边呢 |
[03:56] | Which celebrity would you say I look like the most? | 你觉得我看起来最像哪个明星 |
[03:59] | Halle Berry. | 哈莉·贝瑞 |
[03:59] | 好莱坞著名黑白混血女演员 外表十分出色 | |
[04:03] | Why? | 问这干嘛 |
[04:04] | Stuart and I are putting dating profiles online, | 我跟斯图尔特要填征友网站的资料 |
[04:06] | and it’s one of the questions. | 这是其中一道题 |
[04:08] | And thank you– I’d kill for that woman’s bone structure. | 不过谢谢夸奖 她的身材骨架棒呆了 |
[04:13] | Why are you reading Pride and Prejudice? | 你为什么在读《傲慢与偏见》啊 |
[04:16] | I’ll tell you why. | 我告诉你为什么 |
[04:17] | Amy ruined Raiders of the Lost Ark for me, | 艾米把我对《夺宝奇兵》的爱给毁了 |
[04:20] | so now I’m trying to find | 所以我现在也要找出 |
[04:21] | something beloved to her and ruin that. | 她钟爱的事物来毁掉它 |
[04:25] | Because her life wasn’t enough? | 她这一生还被毁得不够多吗 |
[04:30] | Wait… | 等等 |
[04:31] | how can, how can anyone ruin Raiders? | 《夺宝奇兵》怎么可能会有瑕疵呢 |
[04:34] | It’s perfect. | 这可是完美杰作 |
[04:35] | Yeah, except for the fact that Indiana Jones | 除了主角对于故事剧情发展 |
[04:37] | is completely irrelevant to the story. With or without him, | 没有任何存在的必要 无论电影有他没他 |
[04:40] | the Nazis find the ark, open it and die. | 纳粹还是会找到法柜 打开 然后死光 |
[04:51] | Hey, wait a minute. | 等等 |
[04:52] | No, the Nazis were digging in the wrong place. | 不对啊 纳粹本来挖错了地点 |
[04:55] | The only reason they got the ark | 他们之所以能找到法柜 |
[04:56] | was because Indy found it first. | 全因主角先找到它 |
[04:58] | Actually, they were only digging in the wrong place | 纳粹之所以会挖错地方 |
[05:00] | because Indy had the medallion. | 全因”拉雅之杆”元件在主角手里 |
[05:00] | 该元件是电影中 找到正确藏宝处的关键 | |
[05:01] | Without him, they would have had the medallion | 没有主角 元件会落在纳粹手中 |
[05:02] | and dug in the right place. | 他们直接就到正确地点挖宝了 |
[05:13] | Okay, I know you don’t want to talk about it, | 我知道你不想谈书中内容 |
[05:15] | but can I just ask you one question about your mom’s book? | 但我真有一个问题想问你 |
[05:18] | No. | 不行 |
[05:19] | I just want to know | 我就想知道 |
[05:20] | why a five-year-old boy puts on his mom’s makeup | 为什么五岁男孩会拿妈的化妆品化妆 |
[05:22] | and wears balloon boobies. | 然后用气球当咪咪 |
[05:28] | They weren’t boobies, they were muscles. | 那些不是咪咪 是胸肌 |
[05:31] | And the makeup was green. | 化妆是画绿妆 |
[05:32] | I was pretending to be The Hulk. | 我想把自己画成绿巨人浩克 |
[05:35] | You were wearing her bra. | 但你戴着她胸罩 |
[05:36] | That was to keep my muscles from sagging! | 那是为了让我的”胸肌”不下垂 |
[05:37] | Can we please stop talking about this?! | 我们可以不谈这话题了吗 |
[05:41] | Okay, okay. | 好啦 好啦 |
[05:42] | But you know, as a student of psychology | 但作为一个心理学的学生 |
[05:44] | who got a check-plus on her first homework assignment… | 还是作业得到了√+评价的学生 |
[05:48] | I think, sometimes, it’s good to | 有时候 说出童年阴影 |
[05:50] | open up about these things. | 也是挺不错的啊 |
[05:51] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 行 |
[05:52] | Do you want to know why I dressed like The Hulk? | 你想知道为什么我打扮成绿巨人吗 |
[05:54] | Because I was always mad at my mom | 因为我总是很气我妈 |
[05:56] | and I wanted to smash my way out of that house. | 我想要一拳砸烂我家 然后逃走 |
[05:59] | Well, why were you so angry? | 你心里为什么这么多怨气呢 |
[06:00] | Gee, I don’t know. | 我也不知道 |
[06:02] | Maybe it’s because I was always the subject of her little experiments. | 或许因为我总是她的实验品 |
[06:05] | Did you get to the chapter where she staged the Easter egg hunt | 你有看到”寻找复活节彩蛋”那章吗 |
[06:08] | with no eggs to see how long I’d keep looking? | 根本就没有彩蛋 她故意试试我能找多久 |
[06:12] | The answer, by the way: | 对了 答案是 |
[06:12] | 复活节的日期大致在公历3月22日至4月25日之间 | |
[06:13] | June. | 我找到六月份 |
[06:16] | Sweetie, I’m so sorry. | 亲爱的 真的很对不起 |
[06:18] | I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. | 真希望我能做些什么 让你好过一点 |
[06:20] | I do, too, but there’s not. | 我也希望 但是你不能 |
[06:22] | Really? Are you sure about that? | 真的吗 你确定吗 |
[06:28] | Of course, who am I to argue with a check-plus student? | 当然 我怎么能质疑√+学生呢 |
[06:33] | Just warning you– I’m gonna go right. | 先警告你啊 这次我挑右胸 |
[06:34] | Don’t make a big deal out of it. | 别小题大做问我为什么 |
[06:44] | Is makeup really necessary? | 真的有必要化妆吗 |
[06:47] | Well, when someone looks at your dating profile, | 一般人们看你的征友信息 |
[06:49] | the first thing they see is your picture. | 第一眼肯定是先看你的照片啊 |
[06:51] | I just want to make sure you look fun | 我只是想让你看起来不那么无趣 |
[06:53] | and full of life and not like a body | 充满生气 而不是像一具刚从河里 |
[06:55] | they just pulled out of the river. | 捞出来的尸体那样死气沉沉 |
[06:58] | All right, here we go, and… | 好了 开始吧 |
[07:01] | smile. | 笑一个 |
[07:08] | Okay, uh-uh, that one’s in the bank. | 好吧 刚才那张不算 |
[07:11] | How about this? | 不如这样 |
[07:12] | Turn away, and then turn back into it. | 你先把头转过去 然后再转回来 |
[07:14] | But when you do, | 当你回头时 |
[07:15] | imagine the camera is the girl you want to meet. | 把相机想象成你想见到的女生 |
[07:19] | You got it. | 没问题 |
[07:30] | Okay, uh, | 好吧 |
[07:31] | let’s try it again. | 再来一遍 |
[07:33] | Uh, but this time, pretend the girl you want to meet | 但这一次 你要把相机当成是你想见到 |
[07:36] | doesn’t want to hurt you. | 而且不会揍你的女生 |
[07:40] | I don’t think I can give you that. | 这个恐怕有点难度 |
[07:42] | Come on. One more time. | 拜托 再试一次 |
[07:54] | Yeah, it’s, it’s a little blurry, | 好吧 这张有点模糊 |
[07:56] | but I think that works in your favor. | 不过这应该对你有益无害 |
[07:59] | – Do you want a beer? – Sure. | -想喝啤酒吗 -好啊 |
[08:01] | Hey, have you finished writing your profile yet? | 你的征友信息写完了吗 |
[08:04] | Almost. | 差不多了 |
[08:05] | Oh, what did you put | “用一个词形容自己” |
[08:06] | as the one-word description of yourself? | 你用的是哪个词 |
[08:08] | I put unobjectionable. | 我用了”不讨人厌” |
[08:11] | But now that I hear it out loud, | 但是当我亲耳听到这个词时 |
[08:12] | it just seems like I’m being cocky. | 感觉好像有点过于自信了 |
[08:15] | What did you put for your best feature? | 那你优点你写了什么 |
[08:17] | My parents’ money. | 我的父母是土豪 |
[08:21] | Uh, what did you put for your best feature? | 那你的优点你写什么 |
[08:23] | I put not applicable. | 我写了”无” |
[08:27] | Come on, dude, you’re being too hard on yourself. | 拜托 伙计 你对自己太严苛了 |
[08:29] | You’ve got a lot of good stuff going on. | 你具备很多优秀的条件啊 |
[08:31] | Really? Like what? | 真的吗 比如说 |
[08:32] | Well, okay, you’re a, you’re a talented artist, | 你是一个有天赋的艺术家 |
[08:35] | you own your own business. | 你有自己的事业 |
[08:37] | Neither of those things have ever helped me meet a woman. | 但这两者未曾对我泡妞有过帮助 |
[08:40] | Okay, well, can we imply | 好吧 那我们能暗示 |
[08:43] | that you’re well-endowed? | 你”那方面”天赋异禀吗 |
[08:46] | I do have one oddly long testicle. | 我的确是有个特别长的… 睾丸 |
[08:52] | Okay, now you’re talking like a winner! | 现在像个有自信的男人在说话了 |
[08:58] | Whatcha doin’? | 你在干什么 |
[09:00] | Oh, it turns out Amy’s beloved Pride and Prejudice | 我发现艾米喜欢的《傲慢与偏见》 |
[09:03] | is a flawless masterpiece. | 是一部毫无瑕疵的杰作 |
[09:06] | He’s got too much pride, | 男主角的确很傲慢 |
[09:07] | she’s got too much prejudice– | 女主角的确很多偏见 |
[09:09] | it just works. | 毫无破绽可言 |
[09:11] | So you’re looking to ruin something for her | 所以你为了要毁掉她喜欢的东西 |
[09:13] | in the funny pages? | 你都开始看漫画了吗 |
[09:14] | Amy has a fondness for the comic strip Marmaduke. | 艾米喜欢看《大丹麦狗马默杜克》的连载漫画 |
[09:14] | 《大丹麦狗马默杜克》是美国家喻户晓的一个动画人物 故事的主角是一只顽皮的巨型犬大丹麦狗 | |
[09:19] | And…? | 然后呢 |
[09:20] | And I think I’ve got it. | 我觉得我找到了 |
[09:22] | Consider: | 想一下 |
[09:23] | a family possesses a dog that is so large | 一个家庭里有一只这么大 |
[09:26] | and poorly disciplined, | 而且丝毫不守规矩 |
[09:27] | he causes nothing but problems. | 除了惹麻烦就什么都不会的巨型犬 |
[09:30] | Why do they keep him?! | 他们为什么还要养它呢 |
[09:33] | Maybe they fell in love with him as a puppy | 或许是因为他们爱上它的时候 它还只是小狗 |
[09:36] | and didn’t know how big he was gonna be. | 那家人也没想到它能长这么大 |
[09:38] | Of course. | 有道理 |
[09:40] | You know, why couldn’t she just like Ziggy? | 为什么她不喜欢《奇奇》 |
[09:40] | 著名报刊连载漫画 | |
[09:42] | Yeah? | 真是的 |
[09:43] | That thing’s riddled with plot holes. | 那部漫画情节漏洞百出 |
[09:47] | Sorry, buddy. | 真是可惜啊 伙计 |
[09:49] | I think she’s a fan of Garfield as well. | 我觉得她也喜欢《加菲猫》 |
[09:53] | Oh, darn it, now so am I. | 靠 现在我也是加菲迷了 |
[09:56] | I’ll see you later. | 晚点见 |
[09:57] | I gotta go watch a stupid football game with Penny. | 我得陪佩妮去看一场白痴的球赛 |
[09:59] | Wait– hang on. | 慢着 先别走 |
[10:00] | You’ve spent time with Amy. | 你跟艾米一起待过 |
[10:02] | Can you think of anything she’s fond of | 你能想到什么她喜欢的东西 |
[10:04] | that has a bunch of flaws she hasn’t noticed? | 然后还有很多她没有注意到的瑕疵吗 |
[10:13] | I gotta go. | 我真得走了 |
[10:19] | – You ready to go? – Yep. | -准备好了吗 -好了 |
[10:21] | Hey, and maybe this time | 对了 或许这次 |
[10:22] | you don’t try and talk sports with the guys. | 你别再跟那些男生讨论体育了 |
[10:26] | Some sports bar. | 什么破体育酒吧 |
[10:27] | It’s like they never even heard of Quidditch. | 他们居然从来没听说过魁地奇球赛 |
[10:27] | 出自《哈利·波特》 参赛者在飞天扫帚上进行的一种虚构比赛 | |
[10:30] | Do we really have to go? | 我们真的得去吗 |
[10:31] | Oh, come on. Every time we’re about | 别这样嘛 每次我们 |
[10:33] | to hang out with my friends, you don’t want to. | 要去跟我的朋友玩 你都不想去 |
[10:34] | It’s like, “It’s too loud,” | 每次都说”太吵了” |
[10:36] | or “the bathroom’s too dirty,” | “厕所太脏了” |
[10:37] | or “they put a chicken wing in my ear…” I mean… | “他们拿鸡翅插我耳朵” |
[10:41] | Well, you’re-you’re right. | 你说得对 |
[10:42] | Let’s just go. | 我们走吧 |
[10:43] | Hey, what’s going on with you? | 你到底怎么了 |
[10:44] | Nothing, I’m fine. | 没事 我很好啊 |
[10:46] | All right, hang on. | 好吧 先别走 |
[10:47] | is this still about your mom’s book? | 是不是还是因为你妈妈的书 |
[10:49] | No. Not everything is about my mom. | 不是 不是所有事情都跟我妈有关 |
[10:51] | ‘Cause if you’re still upset about that, | 如果你还在为此而不开心 |
[10:52] | we don’t have to go. | 我们可以不用去的 |
[10:53] | Except this is totally about my mom. | 不过这次真的是因为我妈 |
[10:58] | I’m so sorry. | 真的很对不起 |
[10:59] | I never should have read that book. | 我真不应该看那本书的 |
[11:00] | You know what? You want to just get dinner | 那你想去吃个晚餐 |
[11:02] | and watch the game here? | 然后回来这里看比赛吗 |
[11:03] | – That sounds nice. – Okay. | -这主意不错 -好 |
[11:06] | Or, you know, we could get take-out | 或者我们也可以买外卖 |
[11:07] | and watch the Blu-ray extended version | 然后在这里看蓝光加长附带 |
[11:09] | of The Hobbit movie with commentary track. | 导演评论音轨版的《霍比特人》电影啊 |
[11:15] | On account of how sad I am about my mom. | 因为我被我妈这件事弄得太难过了嘛 |
[11:23] | Leonard, you ready for lunch? | 莱纳德 准备好吃饭了吗 |
[11:25] | One sec! | 稍等 |
[11:28] | Hey. Sorry. | 抱歉 |
[11:32] | – Hi, Penny. – Hi. | -你好啊 佩妮 -好啊 |
[11:34] | All right, sweetie. | 好啦 宝贝 |
[11:35] | You hang in there today. | 你今天要打起精神来哦 |
[11:37] | I’ll try, but I might be sad again tonight. | 我尽量 但可能晚上我又不开心了 |
[11:38] | Okay. | 好 |
[11:43] | Sex at work?! | 上班打炮 |
[11:45] | Leave it alone. | 别这么说 |
[11:46] | – That’s my girlfriend. – Sorry. | -尊重下我女友 -抱歉 |
[11:48] | Who just had sex with me at work! | 她刚刚才跟我上班打炮呢 |
[11:52] | Damn. How’d you swing that? | 行啊 你怎么做到的 |
[11:54] | Well, whenever I talk about how awful my mom was, | 只要我一谈到小时候我妈对我多坏 |
[11:56] | Penny will do anything to make me feel better. | 佩妮会愿意做任何事来哄我开心 |
[11:59] | – Seriously? – Look, I mean… | -真的吗 -是啊 |
[12:00] | I’m not proud of it, but it does work. | 这招是挺贱的 但超级管用 |
[12:03] | I-I got her to watch | 我还成功让她 |
[12:04] | a six-part documentary on Monty Python. | 陪我看了一部六段落的巨蟒剧团纪录片呢 |
[12:04] | 巨蟒剧团 英国的一组超现实幽默表演团体 对喜剧有十分重大的影响 | |
[12:08] | Even I was bored, I just wanted to see | 我自己都看闷了 就只是想看她 |
[12:10] | if she’d make it to the end. | 能不能撑到最后 |
[12:12] | You sound kind of proud of it. | 你听起来蛮引以为傲的嘛 |
[12:13] | I am; I’m really proud. | 我的确挺骄傲的 |
[12:18] | Hello, Sheldon. | 谢尔顿 |
[12:19] | Is everything okay? | 一切都还好吗 |
[12:20] | Yes. | 当然啊 |
[12:21] | Why? | 为什么 |
[12:22] | Well, the last time you made an unscheduled video-chat, | 我们上一次未事先安排就视频聊天 |
[12:25] | there was a curly fry in your regular fries | 是因为你的薯条里有一根卷薯条 |
[12:26] | and you thought someone might be trying to slip you a mickey. | 你当时怀疑有人想对你下迷药 |
[12:31] | April 13… | 4月13日 |
[12:34] | a dark night, indeed. | 相当黑暗的一晚 |
[12:37] | So what can I do for you? | 所以今晚又有什么事了呢 |
[12:38] | I’m calling to invite you | 我打来是想邀请你 |
[12:40] | to a spontaneous date night tomorrow evening. | 明天晚上来一场临时约会 |
[12:43] | Really? | 真的吗 |
[12:44] | Yes. | 是的 |
[12:45] | You were kind enough | 你对我这么好 |
[12:46] | to watch Raiders of the Lost Ark with me. | 陪我一起看《法柜奇兵》 |
[12:49] | So I’d like to return the favor | 我也想还你这份情 |
[12:51] | by inviting you to watch an episode | 邀请你来看一集 |
[12:53] | of your favorite childhood television series, | 你小时候最爱的电视剧 |
[12:56] | Little House on the Prairie. | 《草原小屋》 |
[13:00] | That sounds lovely. | 听起来不错 |
[13:02] | Why are you rubbing your hands together? | 你为什么在搓手啊 |
[13:08] | I’m putting on lotion. | 我是在擦护手霜啊 |
[13:09] | Are you in or not? | 你到底来不来 |
[13:12] | Of course I’m in. | 当然来 |
[13:13] | Excellent. | 非常好 |
[13:14] | Then I shall see you tomorrow. | 那我们明天见 |
[13:16] | Good night, Dr. Fowler. | 晚安 福勒博士 |
[13:17] | Good night, Dr. Cooper. | 晚安 库珀博士 |
[13:20] | Good night, indeed. | 今晚[晚安]的确是很棒啊 |
[13:23] | What a rube. | 真是白痴 |
[13:25] | Why would I put on lotion when I have such soft hands? | 我这双芊芊玉手 怎么可能需要擦护手霜呢 |
[13:30] | You were really quiet during dinner. | 你晚餐的时候好安静 |
[13:31] | Is everything okay? | 你没事吧 |
[13:32] | Yeah. | 没事 |
[13:33] | I guess I was just thinking about my mom, | 我只是想起了我妈 |
[13:35] | and how sad my childhood was. | 以及我悲惨的童年 |
[13:40] | Yeah, I bet it sucked. | 肯定是很惨吧 |
[13:41] | I’m gonna take a bath; you do the dishes. | 我要去洗澡了 你洗碗吧 |
[13:44] | How about I take a bath with you | 不如我跟你一起共浴 |
[13:46] | and see what happens. | 看看会有什么好事发生 |
[13:48] | Here’s what’s gonna happen: | 会发生的就是 |
[13:50] | I’m gonna take a bath, | 我去洗澡 |
[13:51] | and you’re gonna do the dishes. | 你去洗碗 |
[13:53] | That’s it? | 就这样吗 |
[13:53] | No compassion? | 不同情下我吗 |
[13:55] | Aw, poor Howie. | 可怜的华仔 |
[13:56] | We good? I’m gonna take a bath. | 行了吗 我要去洗澡了 |
[13:58] | Bernie… | 妮妮 |
[14:00] | God, what is going on with you? | 天啊 你到底是闹哪样啊 |
[14:03] | I’m sharing my pain. | 我是在分享我的悲痛 |
[14:05] | And I’m not buying it. Try again. | 我不信这套 说实话 |
[14:09] | I’m learning to be a man in a culture | 我在学习怎么在文化环境 |
[14:12] | where it’s increasingly difficult to know how…? | 对男人越来越艰难的…. |
[14:15] | Strike two. | 最后一次机会 |
[14:19] | I’m copying Leonard. | 我在学莱纳德 |
[14:20] | When he does this to Penny, | 他对佩妮使这招 |
[14:21] | they have sex and watch Monty Python. | 他们就会做爱 然后一起看巨蟒剧团 |
[14:24] | – Howard! – I know. | -霍华德 -我知道 |
[14:25] | It was dumb, | 这种做法很贱 |
[14:25] | I shouldn’t have done it. | 我不应该学他 |
[14:26] | And it’s making me feel sad… | 现在我真的觉得难过了 |
[14:30] | So sad. | 好难过 |
[14:34] | You know, why don’t you take a bath? I’ll do the dishes. | 你去洗澡吧 我来洗碗 |
[14:40] | Three, two, one… | 三 二 一 |
[14:43] | That’s it. | 好了 |
[14:45] | Our dating profiles are live on the Internet. | 我们的个人资料正式在公布在网上了 |
[14:47] | Attention all shoppers: | 注意了 各位女顾客 |
[14:49] | my business is open for business! | 爷的”大生意”正式对外”开张”啦 |
[14:53] | That’s right, ladies. | 没错 女士们 |
[14:55] | For all you know, | 告诉你们 |
[14:56] | I’m confident and fun to be around. | 我可以充满自信和幽默十足哦 |
[15:03] | Oh, cool, it tells you | 酷 这声音告诉你 |
[15:04] | when someone’s reading your profile. | 有人在阅读你的个人资料 |
[15:06] | “Jenny309.” | “珍妮309” |
[15:09] | I hope that’s not her weight. | 我希望那个数字不是她的体重 |
[15:13] | If it is, I’ll… I’ll take her. | 你不要的话 那我要了 |
[15:16] | Good one. | 好兄弟 |
[15:19] | Ooh, I got one, too. | 也有人来阅读我的资料 |
[15:21] | The ladies are coming to us. | 女人正朝咱们涌来 |
[15:25] | Oh, man, if I’d started this years ago, | 天啊 如果我早几年就这样做 |
[15:27] | I’d be divorced two or three times by now. | 现在没准都离两三次婚了 |
[15:31] | What…? Another one. | 什么 又来一个 |
[15:33] | You know, it… it’s weird. | 感觉有点怪怪的 |
[15:35] | When they’re reading your profile, does it… | 当她们在阅读你的个人资料时 |
[15:37] | does it make you feel exposed? | 你有没有感觉像摊开被人检阅一样 |
[15:39] | Like they see you naked? | 仿佛她们看到了咱们的裸体一样 |
[15:42] | Well, they’re not running away screaming, so, no. | 她们没有尖叫着逃开 所以还好 |
[15:48] | I love Little House. | 我好喜欢《草原小屋》 |
[15:49] | It made me want to live on a farm so much | 我看了后好想住在农场里 |
[15:51] | I tried to milk my cat. | 我甚至去给我的猫挤奶 |
[15:57] | That tangy bowl of Cheerios | 结果猫奶泡麦圈臭死了 |
[15:58] | was not worth the stitches. | 亏我还被猫抓到要去缝针 |
[16:01] | Well, you sit back, relax | 你乖乖坐好 放轻松 |
[16:04] | and enjoy a beloved childhood memory. | 重温下心爱的童年美好回忆 |
[16:11] | You see that cabin there? | 你看那个小木屋 |
[16:13] | I read they were illegally squatting on Indian land. | 相关资料说 是非法侵占印第安人的土地建的 |
[16:19] | Yeah. | 是的 |
[16:19] | Personally, I think what we did | 就个人而言 我觉得我们 |
[16:21] | to the Native Americans was wrong, | 对印第安人的所作所为是错的 |
[16:23] | but this is your favorite show, not mine. | 但这是你最喜欢的电视剧 不是我的 |
[16:27] | Oh, look at little Laura Ingalls, | 你瞧小劳拉·英格尔斯 |
[16:29] | eating that peanut butter sandwich. | 居然在吃花生酱三明治 |
[16:32] | Peanut butter?! | 花生酱 |
[16:36] | That’s strange, since peanut butter | 真奇怪 因为花生酱 |
[16:38] | wasn’t introduced until the early 1900s. | 直到20世纪初才出现 |
[16:44] | If I knew this show was about time travel, | 如果早知道这是部时光穿越剧 |
[16:45] | I would have watched it much sooner. | 我想我早就看了 |
[16:51] | You’re trying to get back at me | 你是在报复我 |
[16:53] | for what I said about Raiders of the Lost Ark. | 说了《夺宝奇兵》的坏话 |
[16:54] | That’s silly. | 这话真傻 |
[16:56] | Almost as silly as Dr. Baker having a telephone, | 傻到和贝克医生有电话一样 |
[16:59] | since telephones only existed | 因为在那个年代 |
[17:00] | in large cities at that time. | 只有大城市才有电话 |
[17:03] | This is more like Little House on the Preposterous. | 这部剧应该叫做《荒谬之地的小木屋》 |
[17:07] | Sheldon, we’re in a relationship. | 谢尔顿 我们在谈恋爱 |
[17:09] | When you get angry, just tell me. | 如果你生气 告诉我就行了 |
[17:12] | You don’t need to seek revenge. | 你不必偷偷想办法报复 |
[17:14] | Are you sure? | 你确定吗 |
[17:17] | Every time my dad stayed out all night, | 每次我爸彻夜未归 |
[17:19] | my mom would put hamster poop in his chewing tobacco. | 我妈就会把仓鼠屎放进他的嚼用烟草里 |
[17:24] | Well, that’s not how we’re going to do it. | 我们不会这样 |
[17:27] | Fine. | 好的 |
[17:28] | I’m mad at you. | 我是在生气 |
[17:30] | Not only did you ruin Raiders for me, | 你不仅毁了《夺宝奇兵》在我心中的形象 |
[17:32] | you may have ruined the whole franchise. | 甚至可能整个系列都毁了 |
[17:35] | Except for the fourth one, | 除了第四部 |
[17:36] | which was bad before you got your mitts on it. | 被你的脏手染指之前就是部烂片了 |
[17:40] | I-I shouldn’t have said it. | 我不应该说那些话 |
[17:41] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
[17:43] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[17:45] | Do you feel better? | 你心情好些了吗 |
[17:46] | Yes. | 是的 |
[17:47] | But not as good as I’m going to when I tell you | 不过在我告诉你 你心爱的加菲猫 |
[17:49] | that your precious Garfield has no reason to hate Mondays. | 没理由恨周一后 我的心情会更好 |
[17:53] | He’s a cat. He doesn’t have a job. | 他是只猫 他周一又不用去上班 |
[18:01] | Hey, I was just– what is happening? | 我正好… 这是怎么回事 |
[18:05] | Oh, just a little treat. | 想让你开心一下 |
[18:07] | I know you’ve been feeling really bad | 我知道你最近因为你妈妈的事 |
[18:08] | about your mom lately. | 很难过 |
[18:10] | Oh, oh, I have. | 是难过 |
[18:11] | So bad. | 的确好难过 |
[18:14] | And I wanted to make you feel better, | 我想让你心情好些 |
[18:15] | so I planned something very special for you. | 所以我为你计划了特别的安排 |
[18:19] | I can already feel it working. | 我已经感觉到安排在起作用了 |
[18:23] | Hello, Leonard. | 你好 莱纳德 |
[18:28] | Mom?! | 妈 |
[18:29] | I understand you have been whining about my parenting | 我听说你一直在抱怨我的为母之道 |
[18:32] | in order to emotionally manipulate your girlfriend. | 以此在感情上来操控你的女友 |
[18:35] | I… uh… | 我… |
[18:37] | Bernadette told me everything. | 伯纳黛特把一切都告诉我了 |
[18:38] | Now you don’t get the left or the right. | 现在左右咪咪都没你的份了 |
[18:43] | Let’s discuss why you continue to involve me | 我们来讨论下你为什么一直将我牵扯进 |
[18:46] | in your sex life. | 你的性生活中 |
[18:48] | Oh, please, Mommy. | 别这样 妈咪 |
[18:48] | No, Mommy. | 不要啦 妈咪 |
[18:51] | When you were six years old, | 你六岁时 |
[18:52] | you walked in on me and your father naked. | 走进房间 撞到我和你父亲光着身子 |
[18:56] | I was swatting his bottom | 我当时用你崭新的 |
[18:58] | with your brand new Ping Pong paddle. | 乒乓球拍猛抽他的屁股 |
[19:04] | I didn’t dream that? | 那原来不是我做梦吗 |
[19:08] | How did that make you feel? | 那件事让你感觉如何 |
[19:11] | Penny, come back! | 佩妮 回来吧 |
[19:12] | I’m sad for real now! | 我现在真的难过了 |
[19:16] | In the last two hours, | 在过去两个小时内 |
[19:17] | 162 women have read our profiles. | 162位女性看过了我们的个人资料 |
[19:20] | How many of them have sent us messages? | 其中有多少人给我们发了消息 |
[19:22] | – Combined? – Yes. | -加起来吗 -是的 |
[19:24] | Zero. | 零 |
[19:28] | Dude, this is… this is brutal. | 哥们 这真是太残忍了 |
[19:30] | I don’t think I’ve ever felt so rejected. | 我从未有过如此强烈的被拒绝感 |
[19:33] | And I had a rescue dog | 我曾经救过一只流浪狗 |
[19:34] | who ran back to the pound. | 它跑回收容所时 我都没这么难过 |
[19:39] | This is the worst. | 这真是太惨了 |
[19:40] | If we’re gonna get shot down, | 早知道结果会这样 |
[19:41] | we might as well just go to a bar | 还不如去酒吧 |
[19:43] | and do it old school. | 用老方法泡妞 |
[19:44] | And make them look us in the eye. | 至少能跟她们面对面交流 |
[19:46] | Yeah, anything is better than this. | 无论如何也比这样强 |
[19:48] | Hello. | 你好 |
[19:50] | Not interested. | 没兴趣 |
[19:54] | I was wrong. This is worse. | 我错了 这个更惨 |
[20:05] | Wait, wait– if it wasn’t for Indiana Jones, | 等等 如果不是因为印第安纳·琼斯 |
[20:07] | the ark would never have ended up at the warehouse! | 法柜根本不会到仓库 |
[20:10] | That’s true! | 的确如此 |
[20:11] | He collected and delivered the ark | 他找到并运送了法柜 |
[20:13] | to the proper authorities for filing. | 到有关当局备案 |
[20:15] | Like a hero! | 像英雄一般 |
[20:16] | – Yeah! Yes! – Right! | -就是 -太棒了 |
[20:20] | Although, technically, | 不过 确切来说 |
[20:21] | Indy was supposed to take the ark | 印第安纳·琼斯本应该把法柜 |
[20:23] | to a museum to be studied. | 送到博物馆做研究 |
[20:24] | He couldn’t even get that done. | 他连这事也没办好 |