时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:04] | No, seriously, | 说真的 |
[00:04] | I think I’ve finally figured out my problem with women. | 我终于明白为何自己找不到女人了 |
[00:07] | The capybara is the largest member of the rodent family. | 水豚是啮齿类动物中为数最多的品种 |
[00:11] | What does that have to do with me and women? | 这跟我与找女人有何关联 |
[00:13] | Nothing. It was a desperate attempt | 没关联 我只是迫切想为 |
[00:14] | to introduce an alternate topic of conversation. | 午餐会换个新话题罢了 |
[00:18] | My problem is, I don’t project confidence. | 我的问题在于 我没有展现出自信 |
[00:20] | So I decided the next time I meet a woman I think is attractive, | 所以我决定 当我下次见到美女时 |
[00:24] | rather than holding back and being cautious, | 我不会退缩和矜持 |
[00:26] | I’m going to assume the mantle of self-assurance. | 我要展现我自信的一面 |
[00:29] | Oh, yeah? What’s that look like? | 是吗 那该是什么样子的呢 |
[00:35] | Hi. | 你好啊 |
[00:36] | I’m Leonard. | 我叫莱纳德 |
[00:39] | And you are beautiful. | 你宛若天仙一般 |
[00:41] | You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. | 青春 奔放 热力四射 |
[00:45] | I’m going to pick you up at 8:00, | 我晚上8点钟去接你 |
[00:46] | show you a night you will never forget. | 定会带给你一个永生难忘的夜晚 |
[00:51] | Where are we going? | 我们今晚去哪儿呢 |
[00:57] | Good news. | 好消息来了 |
[00:58] | I made it onto the team for the new Defense Department | 我入选了国防部新组建的 |
[01:01] | laser-equipped surveillance satellite. | 激光监测卫星小组 |
[01:03] | Excuse me. | 打断一下 |
[01:04] | If we’re changing topics, I believe I have first dibs | 如果我们要转换话题 我的话题应该有优先权 |
[01:07] | with capybara, a rodent the size of a baby hippo. | 水豚 一种体型与河马宝宝相仿的啮齿类动物 |
[01:12] | Congratulations, Howard. | 恭喜你 霍华德 |
[01:13] | Thanks. | 谢了 |
[01:14] | Listen, I have to get a security clearance, | 听着 我必须得通过安全审核 |
[01:17] | so you guys might be hearing from the FBI. | 所以联邦调查局的人可能会找你们问话 |
[01:20] | I don’t want to speak to the FBI. | 我不想跟联邦调查局的人说话 |
[01:23] | Why not? | 为什么 |
[01:24] | I’m brown and I talk funny. | 我是棕色人种而且口音搞笑 |
[01:26] | They’re just doing a background check on me. | 他们只是为了调查一下我的背景而已 |
[01:28] | It doesn’t matter, they’ll find a reason | 这无关紧要 他们总会设法 |
[01:30] | to give me a one-way ticket back to Gandhi-ville. | 把我遣返回甘地城的[印度] |
[01:33] | By the way, when I say that, it’s not offensive. | 顺便说一下 话虽如此 但并无冒犯之意 |
[01:37] | Don’t be ridiculous, Raj. | 别傻了 拉杰 |
[01:38] | You’re here legally. | 你是合法居留的 |
[01:39] | Nobody cares. Do you know how long it’s been | 没人会在乎这个 你知道我因为 |
[01:41] | since I got through airport security | 在机场安检时没出具 |
[01:42] | without being given a colonoscopy? | 结肠镜检查报告而被困了多久吗 |
[01:45] | You know, I try very hard | 我一直很努力地 |
[01:47] | to make our lunch hours educational and informative, | 想把我们的午餐时间变得更为科学有益 |
[01:49] | but your insistence on talking about your own lives | 但你们执着的讨论自己生活琐事的行为 |
[01:52] | stymies me at every turn. | 每次都深深地阻挠了我 |
[01:55] | Fine, Sheldon, tell us about your giant rodents. | 好吧 谢尔顿 跟我们谈你那个巨型啮齿类动物吧 |
[01:57] | No, you squandered your time with me, | 不了 你浪费了我们探讨的黄金时间 |
[01:59] | and the moment has now passed. | 而那个时刻已经一去不复返了 |
[02:01] | Feast on your disappointment, | 尽情回味你们的失落吧 |
[02:03] | much as the capybara feasts on its own waste. | 就像水豚回味自己的排泄物一样 |
[02:37] | Oh, Bella, don’t you see? | 贝拉 你难道不明白吗 |
[02:40] | Edward’s only pushing you away because he loves you. | 爱德华离开你只是因为他爱你 |
[02:45] | Coming. | 来了 |
[02:51] | Dr. Koothrappali? | 库萨帕里博士吗 |
[02:54] | I’m Special Agent Page, FBI. | 我是联调局探员 蓓姬 |
[02:57] | May I come in? | 我可以进来吗 |
[03:00] | I’d like to talk to you about Howard Wolowitz. | 我想跟你谈谈霍华德·沃罗威茨 |
[03:03] | Oh, thank you. | 哦 谢谢 |
[03:06] | All right. Well, how long have you known Mr. Wolowitz? | 好吧 说说你认识沃罗威茨先生多久了 |
[03:31] | Rum cake? | 朗姆酒蛋糕要吗 |
[03:33] | No, thanks. | 不 谢了 |
[03:34] | Now, about Mr. Wolowitz… | 关于沃罗威茨先生… |
[03:36] | Seven years. | 认识7年了 |
[03:37] | I see. | 了解了 |
[03:42] | I’m in this country legally, you know. | 我在这个国家是合法的 你懂的 |
[03:44] | I’m sure you are. | 我也这么想 |
[03:46] | Now, to your knowledge, | 据你所知 |
[03:47] | has Mr. Wolowitz ever committed a crime? | 沃罗威茨先生曾经有过犯罪前科吗 |
[03:50] | Of course not. | 当然没有 |
[03:50] | I’m here on an H-1B visa, | 我来这用的是H-1B签证 |
[03:52] | which means I can’t be associated in any way | 这也意味着我不可能跟任何形式的 |
[03:54] | with crime or criminal activity and I’m not. | 犯罪活动扯上关系而且我也没有过 |
[03:57] | Good. | 很好 |
[03:59] | To your knowledge, does Mr. Wolowitz | 据你所知 沃罗威茨先生 |
[04:00] | have any foreign contacts? | 有任何国外的联系人吗 |
[04:01] | No, just me. | 没了 就只有我 |
[04:04] | Oh, there it is. | 天呐 终于来了 |
[04:06] | Here comes a cavity search. | 开始掏家底了 |
[04:08] | Excuse me? | 你说什么 |
[04:09] | Please don’t send me back to India, it’s so crowded! | 求你们别送我回印度去 那里太拥挤了 |
[04:11] | It’s like the whole country is one endless Comic-Con, | 整个国家像一场无止境的动漫大会一样 |
[04:14] | except everybody’s wearing the same costume: | 除了每个人穿着相同的装束 |
[04:17] | Indian Guy. | 印度人装 |
[04:19] | – Dr. Koothrappali, I’m not… – I love this country! | -库萨帕里博士 我不是来… -我爱这个国家 |
[04:21] | The-the baseball, the freedom, | 这里有棒球 自由 |
[04:23] | the rampant morbid obesity! | 和一大堆病态的肥胖人士 |
[04:25] | From California to the New York Island! | 从加利福尼亚到纽约 |
[04:28] | I’m a real Yankee Doodle boy! | 我都算是”洋基歌”的忠实粉丝 |
[04:29] | Dr. Koothrappali, please. | 库萨帕里博士 请你… |
[04:30] | My country ’tis of thee… ? | *我的国家充满了…* |
[04:34] | …liberty | *…自由* |
[04:36] | It’s really great. | *这真棒* |
[04:41] | So, when Howard said the FBI would be contacting me, | 当霍华德跟我说会有联调局的人来找我时 |
[04:43] | I was expecting Mulder. | 我以为我盼来的是穆德 |
[04:46] | Glad to see I got Scully. | 没想到来了斯嘉丽 |
[04:49] | Who? | 你说谁 |
[04:50] | Mulder and Scully. | 穆德和斯嘉丽 |
[04:52] | X-Files. | 《X档案》 |
[04:54] | “The truth is out there.” never mind. | “真像就在那里”… 算了当我没说 |
[04:56] | Uh, so, what would you like to know? | 你想了解点什么呢 |
[05:00] | You work with Mr. Wolowitz here at the university, correct? | 你和沃罗威茨先生在大学里共事 对吧 |
[05:03] | Yes. Of course, we’re in different departments. | 是的 当然 是不同的部门 |
[05:05] | He’s an engineer and I’m an experimental physicist. | 他是个工程师 而我是实验物理学家 |
[05:08] | You know, one of those guys | 就好比是那种 |
[05:09] | who examines the building blocks of creation | 建筑监理师 |
[05:11] | and says, “Hello, maker of the universe. | 并且总会说”你好啊 宇宙的建造者” |
[05:16] | “I see what you did there. | “我看到了你的成果” |
[05:18] | Good one.” | “很屌哦” |
[05:20] | Right. | 好吧 |
[05:21] | Now, how would you characterize | 你怎么形容你和 |
[05:23] | your relationship with Mr. Wolowitz? | 沃罗威茨先生之间的关系呢 |
[05:25] | Good. | 很好 |
[05:27] | It’s a good relationship. | 我们关系很好 |
[05:29] | Of course, most of my relationships are good. | 当然了 我跟多数人的关系都很好 |
[05:32] | Probably because I exude confidence. | 也许是因为我浑身流露着自信 |
[05:36] | People are drawn to that, you know? | 这点很吸引人的 你懂吗 |
[05:40] | Confidence, not exuding. | 我是说自信 不是流”露” |
[05:44] | Do you know of any groups Mr. Wolowitz is a member of? | 沃罗威茨先生是否有参加任何组织呢 |
[05:47] | You are beautiful, you know that? | 你很美 你知道吗 |
[05:50] | You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. | 你青春 奔放 热力四射 |
[05:56] | I’m going to pick you up at 8:00, | 我八点钟去接你 |
[05:58] | show you a night you will never forget. | 带你度过永生难忘的一晚 |
[06:02] | Sounds great. | 听上去不错 |
[06:04] | Really? | 真的吗 |
[06:08] | Can my six-foot-two | 我可以带上我六尺二寸[约1.89米] |
[06:09] | Navy seal husband come with us? | 在海豹部队服役的丈夫吗 |
[06:13] | Is that…? | 那是 |
[06:13] | Oh, my, I didn’t see the ring with my glasses off, so… | 天啊 我摘了眼镜没看到你的戒指 |
[06:18] | Look at that, I’m starting to exude. | 瞧 这下我开始流”露”了 |
[06:23] | Want to get that? | 你想去开门吗 |
[06:25] | Not particularly. | 不是很想 |
[06:28] | Could you get that? | 可以去开一下门吗 |
[06:29] | I suppose I could if I were asked. | 要是有人求我去的话 也可以去的 |
[06:33] | Would you please get that? | 可不可以请你开一下门 |
[06:35] | Of course. | 当然可以 |
[06:38] | Why do you have to make things so complicated? | 你干吗非要把事情弄得这么复杂呢 |
[06:43] | Dr. Cooper? | 库珀博士吗 |
[06:43] | Yes. | 是的 |
[06:44] | I’m Special Agent Page, FBI. | 我是联邦调查局探员蓓姬 |
[06:50] | You say you’re | 你说你自己是 |
[06:52] | Special Agent Page, FBI. | 联邦调查局探员蓓姬 空口无凭 |
[06:54] | Here’s my I.D. | 这是我的证件 |
[06:56] | And here is my Justice League membership card. | 这是我正义联盟的会员卡 |
[07:03] | But that doesn’t prove I know Batman. | 但是这不能证明我认识蝙蝠侠 |
[07:06] | I just want to ask you a few questions | 我只是想问你几个 |
[07:08] | about Howard Wolowitz. | 关于霍华德·沃罗威茨的问题 |
[07:10] | Oh. All right. | 好吧 |
[07:14] | I doubt anyone would risk | 我想没人会冒着 |
[07:15] | the stiff penalties for impersonating a federal officer | 假扮联邦政府探员的重罪 |
[07:18] | just to ask questions about a minor league engineer | 来问几个关于一个患有强烈恋母情结 |
[07:20] | with an unresolved oedipal complex. | 的小工程师的问题 |
[07:24] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[07:25] | For the record, I truly support the FBI | 老实说 我非常支持 |
[07:28] | in the mission which is expressed | 联邦调查局为完成使命 |
[07:30] | through their motto…? | 所立下的誓言 |
[07:31] | Fidelity, bravery, and integrity. | 忠诚 勇敢 正直 |
[07:33] | Correct. Now to business. | 回答正确 说正事吧 |
[07:36] | 18 years ago, I sent the FBI crime lab samples | 十八年前有人在我的门廊上 |
[07:40] | from a bag of excrement that had been lit on fire | 点燃了一包粪便 我从中提取了样本 |
[07:43] | on my front porch… | 寄给了联调局的罪案鉴证科 |
[07:46] | …for fingerprinting and DNA analysis. | 为了提取指纹和化验DNA |
[07:50] | Why haven’t I heard back yet? | 为什么我到现在还没收到任何回复呢 |
[07:52] | Well, the FBI crime lab does have a lot on its plate. | 联邦调查局的罪案鉴证科事务繁忙 |
[07:56] | That’s of little comfort to a nation | 这对于一个想要把烧焦的粪便 |
[07:58] | attempting to scrape burning feces off its shoes. | 从鞋上刮下来的人来说可不是个好消息 |
[08:02] | Would you mind if we talked about Mr. Wolowitz now? | 你介不介意我们来谈一下沃罗威茨先生 |
[08:05] | A little, but go on. | 有点介意 不过说吧 |
[08:08] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[08:09] | Would you characterize him as responsible? | 你认为他是个负责任的人吗 |
[08:13] | I’m going to answer that with a visual aid. | 我来举证回答你这个问题吧 |
[08:17] | This is my nine-disc complete | 这是我的《魔戒》三部曲 |
[08:19] | Lord of the Rings trilogy blu-ray set. | 九张蓝光碟版的完整收藏 |
[08:22] | Mr. Wolowitz borrowed it, | 沃罗威茨曾经借走过 |
[08:24] | damaged plastic retention hub number three… | 结果把第三张碟的塑料壳弄坏了 |
[08:32] | …and then returned it to me, hoping I wouldn’t notice. | 然后就这样还给我 还指望我不会发现 |
[08:35] | Would you characterize that as responsible? | 你觉得这叫做负责任吗 |
[08:39] | That’s really not the sort of thing we’re interested in. | 我们对这类事情不感兴趣 |
[08:42] | You heard me say blu-ray, right? | 你听到我说这是蓝光了吧 |
[08:45] | I did. | 听到了 |
[08:47] | Very well. | 很好 |
[08:48] | Would you be interested | 那你想不想知道 |
[08:50] | in knowing that Mr. Wolowitz once snuck onto | 沃罗威茨先生曾经偷偷登录我的 |
[08:52] | my World of Warcraft account and changed the name | 魔兽争霸账号 然后把我一个八十级的 |
[08:55] | of a certain level-80 warlock from Sheldor to Smeldor? | 术士名字由谢耳朵改成了没耳朵 |
[09:01] | I’m afraid not. | 这个也不感兴趣 |
[09:02] | Is there anything else? | 还有别的吗 |
[09:04] | “Is there anything else”? | “还有别的吗” |
[09:05] | Where would you like to start? | 你想从哪里开始说起 |
[09:06] | He refuses to pay fines | 我借给他的书 |
[09:08] | when he’s overdue with books I lend him. | 他延期不还 还拒绝缴纳罚款 |
[09:10] | He crashed the Mars Rover | 他为了泡妞 |
[09:11] | while attempting to impress a woman. | 而撞毁了火星探测器 |
[09:13] | He recommended that I go see | 他推荐我去看 |
[09:14] | the third Matrix movie because it was, and I quote, | 黑客帝国三 因为 他的原话是 |
[09:17] | “just as good as the first one”. | “这部跟第一部一样精彩” |
[09:20] | If that’s not irresponsible, I don’t know what is. | 我不知道还有谁比他更不负责任的了 |
[09:24] | The Mars Rover? | 火星探测器 |
[09:32] | Did I say Mars Rover? | 我有说火星探测器吗 |
[09:33] | You did. | 说了 |
[09:35] | That was actually a poorly chosen example, | 这个例子其实举得很烂 |
[09:36] | as it had nothing to do with me. | 因为那跟我一点关系也没有 |
[09:40] | Yes, well, let’s talk about it anyway. | 没关系 我们还是来谈一下吧 |
[09:42] | I don’t want to. | 我不想谈 |
[09:44] | Not that my disinclination | 但是我不愿意谈这件事 |
[09:46] | to discuss the topic should be interpreted as evidence of | 并不能证明 |
[09:48] | Howard Wolowitz’s culpability in the destruction | 是霍华德·沃罗威茨损坏了 |
[09:50] | of government property worth millions of dollars. | 上千万美元的政府财产 |
[09:53] | Thank you, Dr. Cooper. | 谢谢你 库珀博士 |
[09:55] | I think I have all I need. | 我想我已经问完了 |
[09:56] | Oh, good. | 太好了 |
[09:59] | I was afraid you were going to fixate | 我还怕你会 |
[10:00] | on that Mars Rover incident. | 抓着火星探测器那件事不放呢 |
[10:08] | Hey, buddies. | 伙计们 |
[10:09] | Guess who didn’t get security clearance | 猜猜谁由于没通过安全审查 |
[10:11] | to work on the giant space laser? | 所以不能参与太空激光器的工作了 |
[10:13] | What happened? | 怎么搞的 |
[10:14] | Apparently, the background interviews didn’t go well. | 显然 有人在背景调查时说我坏话了呗 |
[10:16] | You guys wouldn’t know anything about that, would you? | 这肯定跟你们几个没关系 对吧 |
[10:21] | Well, actually, I may have gotten | 实际上 我跟那个女探员谈话的时候 |
[10:23] | a little tipsy when I talked to her. | 可能有点喝醉了 |
[10:26] | And I may have hit on her a little bit. | 我可能有点想要泡她的意思 |
[10:29] | I may have thrown up rum cake on her shoes. | 我可能把朗姆蛋糕扔到她鞋上了 |
[10:33] | I see. | 我知道了 |
[10:34] | Well, it’s good to know, when I need you guys, | 很好 每当我需要你们的时候 |
[10:36] | I can always count on you to step up and ruin everything. | 我总能指望你们跳出来把事情搞砸的 |
[10:42] | I feel awful. | 我好内疚 |
[10:43] | Ah, me, too. | 我也是 |
[10:45] | To tell you the truth, | 老实说 就算有人会搞砸 |
[10:45] | I thought if anyone was going to | 霍华德的安全审核 |
[10:46] | screw things up for Howard, it’d be Sheldon. | 我也觉得应该是谢尔顿的错 |
[10:50] | Well, your expectations have been subverted. | 显然你的预期被推翻了 |
[10:54] | Aha. | 啊哈 |
[11:03] | What are you doing up? | 你怎么还不睡 |
[11:05] | Sleep eludes me, Leonard. | 睡眠弃我而去了 莱纳德 |
[11:07] | Really? | 是么 |
[11:08] | Maybe sleep has met you before. | 可能你之前遇见过他 却错过了 |
[11:11] | Mockery? | 这算是讽刺么 |
[11:12] | That’s all you have to offer? | 你就不能说些别的吗 |
[11:14] | I’m sorry. Why can’t you sleep? | 不好意思 你为什么睡不着 |
[11:15] | Who knows? | 谁知道呢 |
[11:16] | I haven’t watched any scary movies recently. | 我最近又没看什么惊悚片 |
[11:19] | I’m no longer obsessing over why the predicted mass | 也不再纠结为什么 |
[11:22] | of the quantum vacuum has little effect | 量子真空质量的预测 |
[11:24] | on the expansion of the universe. | 对宇宙膨胀作用甚微 |
[11:26] | And it’s been weeks since I took that accidental sip of Red Bull. | 我不小心喝了一小口红牛也是好几周前的事了 |
[11:30] | Did something happen today that’s bothering you? | 那今天发生了什么事让你纠结 |
[11:32] | Well, I did mention | 我的确是对联调局探员 |
[11:34] | the Mars Rover incident to that FBI agent | 提到了火星探测器那件事 |
[11:37] | and probably cost Howard his security clearance. | 也许这害得霍华德没通过安全审核 |
[11:40] | – What? – But why should that keep me up? | -啥 -但我为什么睡不着呢 |
[11:43] | Because you feel guilty? | 因为你感到愧疚么 |
[11:45] | Interesting. | 有意思 |
[11:47] | So you’re saying my insomnia is caused by a guilty conscience. | 你是说我失眠是因为愧疚感作祟 |
[11:51] | Actually, you don’t have insomnia. | 其实你没有失眠 |
[11:53] | You’re sleeping now. | 你正在睡觉 |
[11:54] | Excuse me? | 你说啥 |
[11:56] | You’re having a guilt-ridden dream. | 你正在一个因内疚感而生的梦境里 |
[11:58] | Do you have any evidence to support that hypothesis? | 你这么说有什么证据吗 |
[12:00] | How about that Gorn sitting on the couch? | 看到沙发上那个戈恩人了吗[星际迷航] |
[12:07] | That seems fairly conclusive. | 好吧 很有说服力 |
[12:10] | No, Gorn, no. | 不 戈恩 |
[12:13] | That’s where I sit. | 那是我的位子 |
[12:17] | Thank you for agreeing to see me, Agent Page. | 多谢你同意见我 蓓姬探员 |
[12:20] | Thank you for filing a complaint with my superior, Dr. Cooper. | 多谢你向我上级投诉我 库珀博士 |
[12:25] | I understand you want to recant | 我明白你想要撤销 |
[12:27] | your statement about Howard Wolowitz. | 你对霍华德·沃罗威茨的说辞 |
[12:29] | – Yes. – Was your statement untrue? | -没错 -你的说辞是假的吗 |
[12:32] | No. | 是真的 |
[12:34] | Then I’m afraid you can’t withdraw it. | 那我恐怕你没法撤销 |
[12:36] | I’m sorry. I don’t recall you saying “No backsies.” | 不好意思 你可没说”不得回传” |
[12:42] | Is there anything else? | 还有其它事吗 |
[12:43] | Yes. I’d like to offer a laudatory statement | 有 我想发表一番对霍华德 |
[12:46] | about Howard’s many excellent qualities that I believe | 许多优秀品质的赞美 |
[12:48] | will tip the scales back in his favor. | 我相信这能扭转局势 |
[12:51] | “Howard Joel Wolowitz. | 霍华德·约尔·沃罗威茨 |
[12:53] | “H is for honesty, of which he has much. | H代表诚实 他的确相当诚实 |
[12:56] | “O’s for outstanding, | O代表杰出 |
[12:58] | “Which he is such. | 他也正是如此 |
[12:59] | “W’s for witty, he’s quick with a joke. | W代表风趣 他的确很会讲笑话 |
[13:02] | – A’s for artistic, his ability…” – I’m sorry. | -A代表艺术才华 他可以… -我很抱歉 |
[13:04] | Dr. Cooper, this matter is already closed. | 库珀博士 这没得谈了 |
[13:07] | But I still have “rd Joel Wolowitz” Left to go. | 但名字的剩余部分我还没说完呢 |
[13:10] | It’s closed. | 这事儿已经完结了 |
[13:14] | I don’t understand why you people | 我真搞不懂你们这帮人 |
[13:15] | are picking on my friend, Howard, | 要找我朋友霍华德的茬 |
[13:16] | when there are much more serious security threats to pursue. | 这个国家还面临着其它更严重的威胁 |
[13:19] | For instance, when I first met Leonard, | 比如 我最初遇到莱纳德的时候 |
[13:21] | he was on the verge of giving away | 他就差点把导弹机密 |
[13:23] | rocket secrets to a North Korean spy, | 透露给一个朝鲜间谍 |
[13:25] | and not one agent ever investigated that. | 但却没有一个探员去调查这事 |
[13:29] | This is Leonard Hofstadter? | 你是指莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德吗 |
[13:32] | No, it’s a different Leonard. | 不 是另一个叫莱纳德的 |
[13:33] | He’s… | 他… |
[13:34] | Chinese, red hair, six fingers. Good-bye. | 他是中国人 红头发 六根手指 再见 |
[13:40] | Raj. | 拉杰 |
[13:42] | Have you seen Howard? | 你看到霍华德了吗 |
[13:43] | I think he’s eating lunch. | 我想他在吃饭吧 |
[13:45] | Uh, Sheldon, I want you to meet Neil DeGrasse Tyson | 谢尔顿 这位是尼尔·德格拉斯·泰森 |
[13:48] | from the Hayden Planetarium in New York. | 纽约海登天文馆馆长 |
[13:50] | I’m quite familiar with Dr. Tyson. | 我和泰森博士挺熟呢 |
[13:52] | He’s responsible for the demotion of Pluto | 都归功于他的一家之言 |
[13:55] | from planetary status. | 冥王星不再是行星了 |
[13:56] | I liked Pluto. | 我喜欢冥王星 |
[13:59] | Ergo I do not like you. | 所以我不喜欢你 |
[14:02] | But I actually didn’t demote Pluto. | 其实不是我的一家之言 |
[14:03] | That was a vote of the International Astronomical Union. | 而是国际天文联合会投票决定的 |
[14:06] | If “Ifs” And “Buts” Were candy and nuts, | 要是总拿”如果”和”但是”来糊弄我们 |
[14:08] | we’d all have a merry Christmas. | 圣诞节可不会开心的是吧 |
[14:11] | Think about that, Dr. Tyson. | 好好想想吧 泰森博士 |
[14:15] | Is that the guy you were telling me about? | 你和我说的就是他吗 |
[14:17] | Oh, yeah. | 没错 |
[14:21] | Howard. | 霍华德 |
[14:22] | The person at fault for you not getting a security clearance is me. | 害你没通过安全审核的人是我 |
[14:27] | You? | 是你 |
[14:28] | Yes, but before you get upset, I want you to know | 对 在你发飙之前 我要告诉你 |
[14:30] | I went to the FBI and retracted my statement. | 我去找了联调局的人撤回我的说辞 |
[14:33] | And they were okay with that? | 他们同意了吗 |
[14:35] | No. If anything, I made it worse. | 不 那啥 反而更糟了 |
[14:38] | In any case, I have been riddled with guilt, | 不管怎样 我充满了罪恶感 |
[14:41] | which is causing Gorn-infested REM sleep. | 搞得戈恩人都跑进了我梦里 |
[14:44] | So, I’m here now to say I’m sorry. | 所以我来对你说抱歉 |
[14:48] | Are you kidding me? | 你开什么玩笑 |
[14:49] | You’ve set my career back at least two years, | 你害得我的职业发展倒退了至少两年 |
[14:52] | and you think you can make it right with “I’m sorry”? | 你觉得说句抱歉就能算了吗 |
[14:55] | Yes. | 是的 |
[14:57] | I followed the social protocol. | 我遵循了社交礼仪 |
[14:58] | I attempted to right the wrong, and when I failed to do so, | 曾努力想要纠正错误 但我失败了 |
[15:01] | I delivered a heartfelt apology. | 所以我表示诚挚的抱歉 |
[15:03] | Now you say, | 现在你得说 |
[15:04] | “Apology accepted,” | “我接受你的道歉” |
[15:05] | and I will offer you a one-time-only high five. | 而我和你击下掌 仅此一次 |
[15:10] | Your apology is not accepted. | 我不接受你的道歉 |
[15:13] | You’re tricking me. | 你开玩笑吧 |
[15:14] | It really is, isn’t it? | 其实你接受了吧 |
[15:15] | Leave me alone, Sheldon. | 别烦我 谢尔顿 |
[15:20] | Dr. Cooper, I just wanted you to know | 库珀博士 我想告诉你 |
[15:22] | I’m sorry for the role I played in the Pluto matter. | 我很抱歉我对冥王星的所作所为 |
[15:25] | Oh, shut up. | 闭嘴 |
[15:32] | Sheldon? | 谢尔顿 |
[15:33] | Hello. | 你好 |
[15:35] | What are you doing here? | 你怎么会在这 |
[15:36] | I have troubles, Penny. | 我有麻烦了 佩妮 |
[15:39] | I’ve come to pour them out | 我想来找充满同情心的 |
[15:40] | to the sympathetic ear of the local barkeep. | 当地酒吧酒保一吐心事 |
[15:43] | You know, they have a really nice bar over at the Olive Garden. | 其实橄榄园那边就有个不错的酒吧 |
[15:47] | I don’t like the Olive Garden. | 我不喜欢橄榄园 |
[15:49] | They treat me like family. | 他们对我跟家人似的 |
[15:53] | – Okay, Sheldon. What can I get you? – Alcohol. | -好吧谢尔顿 想喝点什么 -酒 |
[15:57] | Could you be a little more specific? | 能再具体点吗 |
[15:58] | Ethyl alcohol. | 乙醇 |
[16:01] | 40 milliliters. | 40毫升 |
[16:03] | I’m sorry, honey. I don’t know milliliters. | 抱歉亲爱的 我不懂毫升制 |
[16:05] | Ah. Blame President James “Jimmy” Carter. | 那得怪詹姆斯·吉米·卡特总统 |
[16:08] | He started America on a path to the metric system | 他让美国开始实行公制体系 |
[16:11] | but then just gave up. | 却又半途而废 |
[16:12] | He wonders why he was a one-term president. | 他还想不明白自己为何不能连任总统 |
[16:16] | Would you say that’s about 40 milliliters? | 你说这里差不多是40毫升吧 |
[16:18] | – More or less. – Great. | -差不多 -很好 |
[16:22] | Now, where were we? | 咱说到哪了 |
[16:23] | I believe you were about to ask me to choose a cocktail. | 相信你马上就要让我点一种鸡尾酒了 |
[16:26] | Fortunately, thanks to computer-savvy alcoholics, | 幸好 拜嗜酒的电脑通们所赐 |
[16:30] | there’s an app for that. | 正好有开发这应用 |
[16:32] | Let’s see. | 看看 |
[16:34] | Harvey Wallbanger. Eh. | 哈维撞墙 算了 |
[16:36] | Sex on the Beach. I hardly think so. | 海滩性爱 我可不要 |
[16:39] | Rob Roy, silk Slipper, Mad Hatter. | 罗布罗伊 丝绸拖鞋 疯狂鞋匠 |
[16:43] | I’ll have a Rosewater Ricky. | 给我来一杯玫瑰花水里奇 |
[16:46] | – A what? – You’ll need pitted,brandied cherries, gin, | -什么酒 -需用到去核酒酿的樱桃 琴酒 |
[16:50] | rosewater, Angostura Bitters and overproofed rum. | 玫瑰花水 安古斯图拉苦味酒和高度朗姆酒 |
[16:54] | Now, first, dust the cherries with sugar, | 首先 在樱桃上撒上糖 |
[16:56] | then spray them with a mixture of rum and bitters. | 然后喷上朗姆和苦味酒 |
[16:59] | Then ignite the rum, caramel… | 再点燃朗姆酒 将饴糖… |
[17:00] | Here you go — one Rosewater Ricky. | 给你 你的玫瑰花水里奇 |
[17:03] | That’s not how it looks in the picture. | 跟照片上的不像 |
[17:05] | Oh, yeah, you know, every bartender makes it differently. | 是啊 不过每位酒保调法都稍有差异 |
[17:08] | Why don’t you give it a try. | 何不试试再说 |
[17:10] | All right. | 好吧 |
[17:13] | To the metric system. | 敬公制体系 |
[17:26] | I can’t taste the cherries. | 我没尝到有樱桃味 |
[17:30] | All right. Sheldon, what’s on your mind? | 好吧 谢尔顿 你到底在烦恼什么 |
[17:33] | I wronged Howard, and he won’t accept my apology. | 我对不起霍华德 他不接受我的道歉 |
[17:36] | Oh, right, that. | 哦那件事啊 |
[17:38] | Yes, Leonard told me. Sorry, honey. | 莱纳德跟我说了 很遗憾亲爱的 |
[17:40] | Penny, you face failure on a daily basis. | 佩妮 你每天都面对着失败 |
[17:45] | How do you cope? | 你是怎么处理的 |
[17:46] | I drink. | 我喝酒啊 |
[17:50] | To drinking. | 敬喝酒 |
[17:55] | Nope. | 不行 |
[18:00] | If only there were some way to force Howard to accept my apology | 真希望有什么能强迫霍华德接受我的道歉 |
[18:03] | so I could escape this miasma of guilt. | 让我逃脱这内疚的深渊 |
[18:06] | You know, sometimes stuff just happens, | 有些事它注定要发生 |
[18:08] | and there’s nothing you can do about it. | 你是无能为力的 |
[18:09] | Lisa Peterson hasn’t talked to me since the 11th grade, | 比如 丽莎·皮特森从高二就不跟我讲话 |
[18:12] | because no matter how much you apologize, | 因为不管怎么道歉 |
[18:14] | you can’t go back and un-dry-hump someone’s boyfriend. | 都改变不了勾走她男友的事实 |
[18:19] | I see. | 我明白了 |
[18:20] | You’re saying I’m facing Starfleet Academy’s | 你是说我面对的是星舰学院 |
[18:23] | unwinnable command scenario: the Kobayashi Maru. | 不可能完成的测试 小林丸号测验 |
[18:27] | Exactly. | 没错 |
[18:28] | Sometimes you can’t win. | 有时候注定你赢不了 |
[18:29] | Captain Kirk won. | 柯克船长就赢了 |
[18:33] | Kirk cheated. | 柯克作弊了 |
[18:36] | Impressive that you know that. | 真不敢相信你知道这个 |
[18:39] | It’s hard to believe i’m actually having this conversation with you. | 难以置信我竟然跟你在讨论这些 |
[18:43] | Right there with you. | 佩妮与你同在 |
[18:46] | Kirk beat the Kobayashi Maru by reprogramming the simulator. | 柯克通过改编测试程序 通过了该测试 |
[18:52] | – That’s it. – What? | -就这么办 -什么 |
[18:53] | – I’ll reprogram Howard. – What…? | -我要改编霍华德 -什么 |
[18:56] | Sheldon, you can’t reprogram people. | 谢尔顿 人是没法改编的 |
[18:58] | No, you can’t reprogram people. | 不 是你不能改编而已 |
[19:02] | To James Tiberius Kirk. | 敬詹姆斯·T·柯克船长 |
[19:15] | Hello, all. | 各位好 |
[19:17] | Howard, you’re feeling better about me today, aren’t you? | 霍华德 今天没那么生我气了 是吗 |
[19:22] | Not really. | 不是 |
[19:24] | Yes, you are. | 一定是的 |
[19:25] | I’m using neurolinguistic programming | 我正用神经语言学规划法 |
[19:27] | to modify your thought patterns. | 修正你的思考模式 |
[19:32] | Go away, Sheldon. | 滚远点 谢尔顿 |
[19:34] | There’s a $9.95 e-book down the drain. | 将近10美元买的那电子书就这么废掉了 |
[19:37] | What’s in the bag? | 那袋子里是什么 |
[19:38] | It’s for Howard. | 是给霍华德的 |
[19:40] | Oh. Sheldon, you can’t fix this with gifts. | 谢尔顿 这事不是送个礼就能算了的 |
[19:42] | Nevertheless, I’ve hurt you, | 不管怎么说 我伤害了你 |
[19:44] | and whether you forgive me or not, I want you to have this. | 不管你原不原谅我 我都要给你这个 |
[19:50] | You’re giving me a couch cushion? | 你送我个沙发垫 |
[19:52] | No. | 不是 |
[19:53] | The cushion is merely symbolic. | 垫子只是象征性的 |
[19:55] | I’m giving you my spot on the couch. | 我送你的是我沙发上的专座 |
[20:00] | But you love that spot. | 但你很爱那专座的 |
[20:02] | No. I love my mother. | 不 我很爱我妈妈 |
[20:04] | My feelings for my spot are much greater. | 而我对我专座的感情 要强烈得多 |
[20:09] | It is the singular location in space | 它是宇宙中独一无二属于我的 |
[20:11] | around which revolves my entire universe. | 环绕着它 是属于我的整个宇宙 |
[20:15] | And now it’s yours. | 现在它是你的了 |
[20:18] | Oh, my God, dude. Now you have to forgive him. | 天哪兄弟 你一定要原谅他 |
[20:23] | All right. | 好吧 |
[20:24] | Apology accepted. | 我接受你的道歉 |
[20:26] | High five. | 击掌 |
[20:28] | Not too hard. | 别太用力 |
[20:31] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[20:33] | I haven’t cried like this since Toy Story 3. | 自《玩具总动员3》之后 我就没这么哭过了 |
[20:45] | I got to tell you, Sheldon, | 不得不承认 |
[20:46] | I understand why you chose this spot. | 谢尔顿 我总算明白你为何选这个专座了 |
[20:48] | I mean, the temperature is good, but there’s no draft. | 温度正好 也没什么风 |
[20:51] | I can see the television, but I can still talk to… | 能观赏电视 同时还能聊天… |
[20:53] | I changed my mind. Get out of my spot. | 我改主意了 滚出我的专座 |
[20:58] | How long? | 多久 |
[20:59] | 94 seconds. | 94秒 |