| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Okay in Avatar when they have sex in Pandora | 《阿凡达》的人物在潘多拉性交时 |
| [00:06] | they hook up their ponytails, so we know their ponytails | 会连接双方的马尾辫 可以推测 |
| [00:08] | are like their junk. | 马尾辫类似于他们的生殖器 |
| [00:11] | Yeah… so? | 那又怎样 |
| [00:12] | So, when they ride horses and fly on the birds, | 他们骑马或骑鸟的时候 |
| [00:15] | they also use their ponytails. | 也会用到马尾辫 |
| [00:16] | What’s your point? | 你到底想说什么 |
| [00:17] | My point is, if I were a horse or a bird, | 也就是说 如果我是马或者鸟 |
| [00:19] | I’d be very nervous around James Cameron. | 我在詹姆斯·卡梅隆身边会相当紧张 |
| [00:23] | It amazes me how you constantly obsess over fictional details | 你对虚构情节如此着迷 实在让我费解 |
| [00:27] | when there are more important things in the real world to worry about. | 现实世界中还有很多 重要的事等着你呢 |
| [00:30] | For example, why wasn’t William Shatner in the new Star Trek movie? | 比如 威廉·夏特纳怎么没出演 新的《星际迷航》电影 |
| [00:34] | Hey, Sheldon. I was up in the administration office, | 谢尔顿 我刚走过行政办公室时 |
| [00:37] | and I happened to overhear the name of the winner | 无意中听到了 今年大学科学奖 |
| [00:40] | of this year’s Chancellor’s Award for Science. | 得奖人的名字 |
| [00:42] | And you want to rub my nose in the fact | 你又想趁机打击我 |
| [00:44] | that my contributions are being overlooked again? | 我的成就又被无视了吧 |
| [00:46] | I am the William Shatner of theoretical physics. | 我就是理论物理界的威廉·夏特纳 |
| [00:50] | All right, I’ll play. | 好吧 我配合你 |
| [00:51] | What self-important, preening fraud are they honoring this year? | 他们今年选了哪个 自以为是 狂妄自大的骗子 |
| [00:54] | Oh, I’m so glad you asked it like that. You. | 我真高兴你这么问 那个人就是你 |
| [00:59] | – I won? – You won. | -我得奖了 -你得奖了 |
| [01:01] | I won! | 我得奖啦 |
| [01:03] | This is astonishing. | 太让我感到意外了 |
| [01:05] | Not that I won the award– no one deserves it more. | 不是意外得了奖 没人比我更有资格 |
| [01:08] | Actually, I guess I misspoke. It’s not astonishing; more like inevitable. | 其实 我说错了 根本不意外 得奖是意料中的事 |
| [01:12] | I’m not sure what to do first. Maybe I should call my mother. | 我不知道该先做什么 要不先通知我妈 |
| [01:15] | Wait! I know– I’m going to conduct an interview with myself and post it online. | 我知道啦 做个自访 然后放到网上去 |
| [01:22] | Well, good for him. | 真替他高兴 |
| [01:24] | Yeah, the one thing the William Shatner | 对 理论物理界的威廉·夏特纳 |
| [01:27] | of theoretical physics needed was an ego boost. | 最需要的就是自我膨胀 |
| [02:13] | Didn’t it look like that spear was going to go right through your skull? | 那支长矛逼真得 就像要直接穿过咱的头啊 |
| [02:17] | No. | 才怪 |
| [02:20] | Hey, you didn’t want a Slurpee at 7-Eleven, you don’t get glasses. | 你不买7-11的Slurpee[饮料名] 就没眼镜戴 |
| [02:27] | Oh, that will be another congratulatory call for me. | 肯定又是打给我道贺的 |
| [02:30] | Uh, mute, please. | 请静音 |
| [02:31] | Wait, wait. Hang on– flaming arrow. | 等等 火焰箭呢 |
| [02:37] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [02:38] | Oh, Chancellor Morton, how are you, sir? | 莫顿校长 你好 |
| [02:43] | Yes, I was expecting your call. Three years ago. | 对 我在等你的电话 三年前就开始了 |
| [02:47] | I see. | 我明白 |
| [02:49] | Wait. What happens if I choose not to give a speech? | 等等 如果我不想做演讲呢 |
| [02:52] | Uh-huh. | 嗯 |
| [02:53] | And if I don’t want to forfeit the award? | 如果我不想放弃奖项呢 |
| [02:57] | Well, you’ve got that tied up in a neat little bow. | 好 您现在是箭在弦上 不得不发 |
| [03:00] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [03:01] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [03:03] | Problem. | 有状况 |
| [03:05] | What? | 咋了 |
| [03:06] | They expect me to give a speech at the banquet. | 他们要我在宴会上做演讲 |
| [03:09] | I can’t give a speech. | 我不会做演讲 |
| [03:10] | Well, no, you’re mistaken. You give speeches all the time. | 不 你弄错了 你一直都滔滔不绝 |
| [03:17] | What you can’t do is shut up. | 你是不会闭嘴 |
| [03:21] | Yeah, before the movie, | 看电影前 |
| [03:23] | you did 20 minutes on why guacamole turns brown. | 你说了20分钟为啥鳄梨酱变棕色了 |
| [03:26] | It turned brown while you were talking. | 你说话的时候 它就变棕色了 |
| [03:29] | I am perfectly comfortable speaking to small groups. | 我在小群体面前能自如讲话 |
| [03:32] | I cannot speak to large crowds. | 但没法在大群体面前演讲 |
| [03:34] | What, to you, is a large crowd? | 你的大群体怎么定义 |
| [03:36] | Any group big enough to trample me to death. | 大到能把我踩死的那种 |
| [03:40] | General rule of thumb is 36 adults or 70 children. | 按经验估计是36个成人或70个儿童 |
| [03:44] | Sheldon, congratulations. | 谢尔顿 恭喜恭喜 |
| [03:47] | Brought you a cheesecake from work. | 从店里给你带了芝士蛋糕 |
| [03:48] | You know, ’cause of your award, | 这是给你庆祝得奖的 |
| [03:50] | not because a busboy sneezed on it. | 不是因为小工对着它打了喷嚏 |
| [03:55] | – I’m not accepting the award. – Why not? | -我不接受奖项了 -为什么 |
| [03:57] | Turns out the great Sheldon Cooper has stage fright. | 因为伟大的谢尔顿居然会怯场 |
| [04:01] | That’s no reason to back out. | 那也没有理由退出啊 |
| [04:02] | You know, I once got a pretty big honor in high school, | 我以前在高中时 得了个很大的奖 |
| [04:05] | and I was terrified about appearing in front of a big crowd, | 而我很怕面对一大群人 |
| [04:08] | but I went through with it, and you know what? | 但我挺过来了 知道吗 |
| [04:10] | The world looked pretty darn good | 作为玉米皇后团的成员之一 |
| [04:12] | sitting on a haystack in the back of a Ford F-150 | 坐在福特F150后面放的干草堆上 |
| [04:14] | as a member of the Corn Queen’s court. | 那是相当的风光啊 |
| [04:19] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [04:21] | Yeah, I’ll bear that in mind | 我会牢记在心的 |
| [04:22] | if I’m ever nominated for the Hillbilly Peace Prize. | 如果我被提名乡巴佬和平奖的话 |
| [04:27] | Sheldon, you’re being ridiculous. | 谢尔顿 你小题大做了 |
| [04:29] | Am I? | 是吗 |
| [04:30] | Let me tell you a story. | 我给你们讲个故事 |
| [04:32] | Where’s 70 children when you need them? | 咱现在就需要70个儿童 |
| [04:35] | I was 14 and graduating summa cum laude from college. | 我14岁时以Summa cum laude的成绩从大学毕业 |
| [04:40] | “Summa cum laude” is Latin for “with highest honors.” | Summa cum laude在拉丁语里是指最高荣誉 |
| [04:43] | I just love how you always skip over the part where no one asks. | 你要是能跳过 没人问的东西就好了 |
| [04:48] | I was valedictorian and expected to give an address. | 我要在毕业典礼上做致词 |
| [04:51] | Even now, I can remember that moment | 我到现在还记得当时 |
| [04:53] | when I walked up to the podium and looked out at the crowd. | 我走上讲台 看着人群 |
| [04:56] | There must have been thousands of people. | 台下数以千计的人 |
| [04:58] | My heart started pounding in my chest. | 我的心开始剧烈跳动 |
| [05:00] | I began to hyperventilate. | 然后开始大口呼气 |
| [05:02] | My vision became blurry, and before I knew it… | 视力渐渐模糊 还没来得及… |
| [05:06] | Oh, dear. | 晕啊 |
| [05:07] | Oh, my God. | 老天 |
| [05:09] | Sheldon? | 谢尔顿 |
| [05:10] | Sheldon, are you okay? | 谢尔顿 你没事吧 |
| [05:12] | Don’t trample me. | 表踩我啊 |
| [05:16] | Come on, Mother. | 拜托 妈妈 |
| [05:17] | You know why I can’t accept the award. | 你知道我为啥不接受奖项 |
| [05:20] | With all due respect, I don’t think praying will help. | 恕我直言 我不觉得祈祷会有用 |
| [05:24] | No, I have not heard the song, “Jesus, Take the Wheel.” | 没 我没听过那首 “主啊 请掌控这命运之轮” |
| [05:28] | No, no… You don’t need to start singing it. | 不用不用 你不需要唱给我听 |
| [05:33] | Yes, I’ll buy it on the iTunes, Mother. | 好 我会在iTunes上下载的 妈妈 |
| [05:36] | Good-bye, Mother. | 再见 妈妈 |
| [05:43] | Hello. | 各位好 |
| [05:45] | Sit down. We want to talk to you. | 坐啊 我们想和你谈谈 |
| [05:47] | Am I in trouble? | 我是有麻烦了吗 |
| [05:49] | Did my mother call you? | 我妈妈给你们打电话了 |
| [05:51] | Just sit. | 坐就是了 |
| [05:52] | We think we can help you with your stage fright. | 我们能帮你克服怯场的问题 |
| [05:56] | Oh, I doubt that. | 我深表怀疑 |
| [05:57] | I haven’t figured out a way, and I’m much smarter than all of you. | 我比你们智商都高 我都没想出办法呢 |
| [06:03] | Yes, but you’re not smarter than all of us put together. | 是的 可我们几个的智商加起来肯定比你高 |
| [06:06] | Oh, I’m sorry. That is what I meant. | 不好意思 还是我高 |
| [06:10] | Okay. Your problem is, you’re trying to do this all by yourself. | 好吧 你的问题是 你想孤军奋战 |
| [06:13] | We can help you. We can be your team. | 我们可以帮你 当你的队友 |
| [06:15] | Like, uh, Professor Xavier and his X-Men. | 就像 X教授和X战警 |
| [06:22] | I do like the X-Men. | 我确实挺喜欢《X战警》 |
| [06:25] | Did I see X-Men? | 我看过《X战警》吗 |
| [06:27] | Yeah, we watched it last week. You said you liked it. | 看过啊 我们上周才看的 你还说你喜欢呢 |
| [06:30] | Oh. I say a lot of things, sweetie. | 亲爱的 说话又不用付钱 |
| [06:34] | So, how about it, Sheldon? | 怎么样啊 谢尔顿 |
| [06:35] | I don’t know. | 不好说 |
| [06:37] | If you’re my X-Men, what are your powers? | 如果你们是X战警 那你们的超能力是什么 |
| [06:40] | Okay. Well, I am going to take you shopping, get you a nice suit. | 这个 我会带你去购物 帮你选一套超赞的西装 |
| [06:44] | Might give you more confidence. | 能让你更自信 |
| [06:45] | That’s not exactly a mutation that would get you | 确切来说这不叫变异 光凭这点你不可能 |
| [06:48] | into Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, | 进到X教授专为天赋异禀的年轻人开设的学校 |
| [06:50] | but go on. | 不过继续 |
| [06:50] | Leonard? | 莱纳德 |
| [06:52] | I thought I could try to analyze you | 我可以对你进行心理分析 |
| [06:54] | and get to the root of your anxiety. | 然后找出让你如此焦虑的根源 |
| [06:56] | What qualifies you to attempt to understand my mind? | 你凭什么觉得你能读懂我的内心呢 |
| [06:59] | My mother is a highly regarded psychiatrist, | 我妈是一位杰出的精神病专家 |
| [07:02] | and I’ve been in therapy ever since she accused me | 而且自从她指责我过于依赖母乳开始 |
| [07:05] | of breast-feeding codependently. | 我就一直在接受治疗 |
| [07:10] | Raj says he can teach you… | 拉杰说他可以教你 |
| [07:12] | What did you call it? | 什么名字来着 |
| [07:14] | I don’t know– some Indian meditation crap. | 我记不住 一些扯淡的印度冥想 |
| [07:19] | I see. Well, I assume, since the rest of you have set the bar so low, | 明白了 由于前三位的水准 都严重不靠谱 |
| [07:24] | you’re saving the most impressive contribution for last. | 我想你们是把最睿智的办法放到了最后 |
| [07:26] | Go ahead, Howard. Dazzle me. | 说吧 霍华德 惊我一下 |
| [07:31] | My power is the ability to pretend | 我的超能力就是我可以 |
| [07:34] | like I give a damn about your piddily-ass problems. | 假装我很在意你这尿频尿急类的鬼问题 |
| [07:43] | And that’s 24-seven, buddy. | 而且我能一直装下去 伙计 |
| [07:47] | And I appreciate the pretense. | 我很感激你如此做作 |
| [07:51] | So, what do you say, Sheldon? | 怎么样啊 谢尔顿 |
| [07:52] | Are we your X-Men? | 我们是你的X战警吗 |
| [07:54] | No. | 不是 |
| [07:55] | The X-Men were named for the “X” in Charles Xavier. | X战警这名字来源于X教授的姓氏 |
| [07:58] | Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-Men. | 既然我叫谢尔顿·库珀 那你们就是C战警(与精液谐音) |
| [08:08] | Oh, that’s not a good name. | 这名字可不怎么好听 |
| [08:15] | Okay, Sheldon. I’m going to be leading you | 好了 谢尔顿 我将引导你进行 |
| [08:18] | through a series of meditation exercises. | 一系列的冥想练习 |
| [08:21] | These methods come from the ancient gurus of India | 这些方法是从古代印度大师那里 |
| [08:24] | and have helped me overcome my own fears. | 传承下来的 也帮我克服了自己的恐惧 |
| [08:28] | And yet, you can’t speak to women. | 可你还是不敢和女人说话 |
| [08:32] | True, but thanks to meditation, I am able to stay | 确实 不过托冥想的福 我可以和女人 |
| [08:34] | in the same room with them without urinating. | 呆在同一房间 而且不会被吓到尿裤子 |
| [08:39] | Now… close your eyes. | 现在 闭上双眼 |
| [08:43] | Okay, but don’t punch me. | 好的 不过不许打我 |
| [08:45] | What? | 什么 |
| [08:47] | When I was little, my sister would say to me, | 小时候 我姐姐会对我说 |
| [08:49] | “Close your eyes, you’ll get a surprise,” | “闭上双眼 惊喜出现” |
| [08:51] | and then she’d punch me. | 然后她就会给我一拳 |
| [08:53] | I’m not going to punch you. | 我不会打你的 |
| [08:55] | That’s what my sister used to say. | 我姐姐以前也这么说的 |
| [08:57] | Do you want to do this or not? | 你到底还练不练了 |
| [08:59] | I’m sorry. Proceed. | 抱歉 请继续 |
| [09:01] | All right. | 好的 |
| [09:03] | Imagine yourself in the one place you feel most at home. | 想象你正身处一个 最有家的感觉的地方 |
| [09:06] | Where is that? | 是哪里呢 |
| [09:08] | Sim City. | 模拟城市[一款游戏] |
| [09:12] | More specifically, the Sim City I designed– | 更确切地说 是我设计的模拟城市 |
| [09:15] | Sheldonopolis. | 谢尔顿奥波利斯 |
| [09:18] | Okay, you’re in Sheldonopolis. | 好的 你身处谢尔顿奥波利斯 |
| [09:20] | Where exactly? | 确切的地点是哪 |
| [09:22] | Sheldon Square? Sheldon Towers? | 谢尔顿广场 谢尔顿之塔 |
| [09:24] | Sheldon Stadium, home of the Fighting Sheldons? | 还是人称谢尔顿勇士之家的谢尔顿运动场 |
| [09:28] | Whatever you like. | 随你喜欢 |
| [09:29] | I thought this was supposed to be a guided meditation. | 不是说你引导我冥想吗 |
| [09:32] | Fine. You’re in Sheldon Square. | 好吧 你在谢尔顿广场 |
| [09:35] | Really? This time of year? | 是吗 这个季节吗 |
| [09:36] | It’s a bit nippy. | 那可有点冷 |
| [09:37] | Then, put on a sweater. | 那就穿件毛衣 |
| [09:39] | Suppose I could run downtown | 那我可以去市中心的 |
| [09:41] | and pick up something at Shel-Mart. | 谢尔玛买一件 |
| [09:45] | Yeah, whatever. Just go buy a sweater. | 随便啊 去买件毛衣就是了 |
| [09:47] | You know, the nice thing about Shel-Mart is I own it, | 好处就是谢尔玛是我开的 |
| [09:49] | so I get a 15% discount. | 所以我买东西85折 |
| [09:51] | You own the damn thing. Just take a freaking sweater! | 还不都你说了算 痛快拿件毛衣就行了 |
| [09:55] | Look, I didn’t turn a profit last quarter | 上一季度我根本没有盈利 |
| [09:57] | by taking product off the shelves willy-nilly. | 就是因为我肆无忌惮地拿东西不给钱 |
| [10:00] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [10:03] | You’ve paid for a sweater, and you’re in Sheldon Square. | 你买了件毛衣 现在你在谢尔顿广场 |
| [10:07] | Hang on. | 等等 |
| [10:11] | It’s a cardigan. I have to button it. | 是开衫的 我得扣上扣子 |
| [10:16] | Oh, no. | 不会吧 |
| [10:18] | What now? | 又怎么了 |
| [10:19] | A Godzilla-like monster is approaching the city. | 一个类似哥斯拉的怪物正在接近城市 |
| [10:22] | I have to get my people to safety. | 我得把我的市民转移到安全区 |
| [10:24] | People of Sheldonopolis, this is your mayor. | 谢尔顿奥波利斯的市民们 我是你们的市长 |
| [10:27] | Follow me. | 跟着我 |
| [10:29] | If the children can’t run, leave them behind. | 小孩子要是跑不了 就别管他们了 |
| [10:34] | Oh, the simulated horror! | 哎哟妈呀 模拟恐怖效果贼棒 |
| [10:46] | Raj? | 拉杰 |
| [10:49] | Just as I suspected. | 我就知道 |
| [10:51] | Meditation is nothing but hokum. | 什么冥想不过是噱头 |
| [11:01] | I question your premise. | 我相当质疑你的说法 |
| [11:02] | How is a new suit going to prevent me | 要防止我在满屋子人面前晕倒 |
| [11:04] | from passing out in front of a ballroom full of people? | 买套新西装有个毛用了 |
| [11:07] | It’ll give you confidence. | 那会让你充满自信 |
| [11:09] | You know, sometimes when I’m feeling all stressed out | 只要我倍感压力时 |
| [11:10] | about something, I go out and buy a cute top | 我就会去买件可爱上衣 |
| [11:13] | or a fun skirt and I have a whole new outlook on life. | 或漂漂裙裙 如此一来就会容光焕发 |
| [11:16] | Don’t you eventually realize you’re just the same stressed out person | 你傻的啊 难道你没意识到 你只是换了皮囊 内压犹在啊 |
| [11:20] | in a cute top or a fun skirt? | 穿可爱上装和漂漂裙裙有啥用 |
| [11:22] | Yeah, that’s when I buy shoes. | 是的 所以还要买鞋子 |
| [11:26] | Now, let’s see what we’ve got. | 我们来选选 |
| [11:28] | This is nice. | 这件帅气 |
| [11:31] | It’s only one color. | 这件就一个颜色 |
| [11:34] | Yeah, so? | 是啊 咋了 |
| [11:35] | That’s a lot of money for only one color. | 就一个颜色还这么贵 岂不是亏了 |
| [11:38] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [11:39] | Why don’t you pick out what you like. | 你自己选自己喜欢的 |
| [11:45] | This is pretty sharp. | 这件很犀利 |
| [11:52] | No. You’re wrong. | 不 没门儿 |
| [11:56] | This is great. | 这件够劲 |
| [11:58] | I had a suit like this when I was six. | 我六岁时也有件差不多样式的 |
| [12:05] | Okay, I think we have a winner. | 好吧 这件绝对无可挑剔 |
| [12:10] | Where the hell’d you find that? | 靠 你哪儿弄来的这件 |
| [12:12] | In the prom department. | 舞会礼服柜台 |
| [12:14] | It’s ridiculous. | 这也太可笑了 |
| [12:16] | Says the former member of the Corn Queen’s Court. | 玉米皇后团前团员没资格说这话吧 |
| [12:21] | Please just try this one on. | 去试试这件再说 |
| [12:23] | Okay. But anything I put on now is only going to suffer in comparison. | 好吧 现在不管我穿啥 和之前的相比都只能相形见拙了 |
| [12:34] | This is absurd. I look like a clown. | 这太荒唐了 简直像个小丑 |
| [12:41] | So, Sheldon… | 谢尔顿 |
| [12:46] | …how you doing? | 你最近如何 |
| [12:48] | That’s how you start a psychotherapy session? | 你就这样开始心理治疗吗 |
| [12:52] | “How am I doing?” | 居然问这种蠢问题 |
| [12:53] | I was promised a riverboat journey | 我本来满心期待进行一场 |
| [12:55] | into the jungles of my subconscious. | 对自我潜意识的探寻之旅 |
| [12:58] | Instead, I get the same question I hear | 结果呢 我都听到什么鬼问题啊 |
| [13:00] | from the lady who slices my bologna at Ralph’s. | 拉尔夫餐厅切香肠的女招待都问得出来 |
| [13:04] | I’m sorry, I’ll start again. | 抱歉 我重来 |
| [13:06] | Would it be helpful to you if I told you about my dreams? | 我还是说说我的梦境吧 对你有帮助吗 |
| [13:10] | Um, I don’t know, maybe. | 我也不知道 也许吧 |
| [13:12] | I recently had a dream that I was a giant. | 我最近做了个梦 梦到我变成了巨人 |
| [13:17] | But everything around me was to scale, | 但周围的东西还是原来的比例 |
| [13:19] | so it all looked normal. | 所以相比之下没什么差别 |
| [13:25] | How did you know you were a giant if everything was to scale? | 既然周围东西都没什么变化 你怎么知道自己变成了巨人 |
| [13:29] | I was wearing size a million pants. | 我穿着条型号为一百万的裤子 |
| [13:35] | Why don’t we just talk? | 我们还是来自由谈话吧 |
| [13:39] | The talking cure. Classical Freudian. Good choice. | 自由谈话疗法 经典精神分析疗法 不错 |
| [13:41] | If it will help speed things along, | 我补充一点可能会有所帮助 |
| [13:43] | uh, my answers to the standard Rorschach ink blot test are: | 我做标准罗夏墨迹测验的结果是 |
| [13:43] | （[投射测验: 猜测模糊图形以投射潜意识和内心想法]） | |
| [13:47] | A) a bat, B) a bat, c) a bat, | 图A 蝙蝠 图B 蝙蝠 图C 蝙蝠 |
| [13:52] | and D) my father killing my mother with a hypodermic needle. | 图D 我爸想用皮下注射器杀死我妈 |
| [13:58] | Why don’t I just start? | 还是我来说吧 |
| [14:00] | Sometimes people have trouble accepting accolades | 这种事时有发生 人们难以接受一项荣誉 |
| [14:05] | if, on a subconscious level, they don’t feel they deserve them. | 那是因为在潜意识中 他们自觉不配拥有 |
| [14:09] | Do you think maybe that’s what’s happening here? | 会不会你的原因也是如此呢 |
| [14:11] | Really, Leonard? | 真的假的 莱纳德 |
| [14:15] | You’re just going to try to recycle Adler’s doctrine | 你是想把阿德勒学说中的 |
| [14:18] | of the inferiority complex? | 自卑情结套用在我身上吗 |
| [14:19] | I could probably get that from the woman at Ralph’s. | 这连拉尔夫餐厅的女招待都知道 |
| [14:22] | And she’d let me taste some pieces of cheese for free. | 说不定她还会白送我芝士呢 |
| [14:25] | But it could be part of your problem. | 但这可能是问题所在 |
| [14:27] | Let me give you an example. | 我举个例子吧 |
| [14:29] | When I was eight, | 我8岁时 |
| [14:30] | I won a ribbon at the science fair | 我的一个项目 “古典音乐有助青豆生长” |
| [14:33] | for my project, “Do Lima Beans Grow Better to Classical Music.” | 在科技展上得了奖 授予了我一条勋带 |
| [14:36] | But my mother pointed out | 但我妈妈却说 |
| [14:39] | that it was just a rehash of my brother’s earlier | 这和我哥哥以前的研究 “摇滚乐有害于青豆生长” |
| [14:42] | “Do Lima Beans Grow Worse to Rock ‘n’ Roll.” | 根本没差 只不过换汤不换药 |
| [14:46] | I felt so guilty, I gave the ribbon back. | 我倍受打击 于是把勋带退了回去 |
| [14:50] | And how did that make you feel? | 你感觉如何 |
| [14:52] | Terrible. | 糟透了 |
| [14:54] | I worked really hard on that project. | 对那个研究我付出了很多心血 |
| [14:57] | I stayed up all night singing the clown’s aria from Pagliacci | 我整晚都不睡 就对着青豆芽 |
| [15:01] | to a lima bean sprout. | 唱《丑角》里的咏叹调[莱昂卡瓦洛作曲] |
| [15:04] | Go on. | 继续说 |
| [15:07] | It wasn’t my fault. | 这又不是我的错 |
| [15:09] | I had never seen my brother’s project. | 我不知道我哥的研究 |
| [15:12] | And my mother could’ve told me before | 我妈之前本可以告诉我 |
| [15:14] | instead of at the ceremony in front of everyone. | 她却在颁奖典礼上当着众人面说出来 |
| [15:18] | So, I hear you saying you’re angry with your mother. | 这么说 你很生你母亲的气咯 |
| [15:22] | Damn right, I’m angry with my mother. | 当然气 我恨死她了 |
| [15:31] | For God’s sake, I was eight years old. | 行行好嘛 我那会儿才8岁 |
| [15:34] | She humiliated me. | 她却这么当众羞辱我 |
| [15:36] | That’s when the bed-wetting started again. | 就是在那之后 我又开始尿床 |
| [15:40] | Thank you, Leonard. | 多谢了 莱纳德 |
| [15:42] | For what? | 谢什么啊 |
| [15:44] | If someone as damaged as you | 像你这样受了如此打击 |
| [15:45] | can find his way to crawl out of bed each morning, | 还能每天早上从床上爬起来 |
| [15:48] | I think I can face a simple award ceremony. | 我想小小一个颁奖典礼 应该不成问题 |
| [15:51] | Wait, that’s it? I thought we had a whole hour! | 等等 就这样吗 不是该有一整个小时的吗 |
| [15:57] | Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, | 女士们先生们 晚上好 我是莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德博士 |
| [16:01] | and it is my very great honor to introduce | 很荣幸向各位隆重介绍 |
| [16:03] | the winner of this year’s Chancellor’s award for Science | 本年度大学科学奖得主 |
| [16:06] | and my good friend, Dr. Sheldon Cooper. | 我的好友谢尔顿·库珀博士 |
| [16:10] | But before I do, | 但在此之前 |
| [16:12] | I’d like to share with you a letter from Sheldon’s mother, | 请允许我先宣读下谢尔顿母亲的来信 |
| [16:15] | who couldn’t be here tonight. | 很遗憾她今晚未能亲临 |
| [16:16] | Isn’t that nice? His mother sent him a letter. | 很温馨了 是吧 他妈妈给他写了封信 |
| [16:21] | She’s proud of him. I wonder what that feels like… | 他为自己儿子感到自豪 真想知道那会是什么感觉… |
| [16:28] | “Dear Shelly.” that’s what she calls him. Shelly– it’s a pet name. | 亲爱的谢利 她都是这么叫他的 谢利 这是个昵称 |
| [16:34] | You know what my mother’s pet name for me is? Leonard. | 知道我妈给我取的什么昵称吗 莱纳德 |
| [16:39] | But I digress. | 我又离题了 |
| [16:43] | “Dear Shelly…” | 亲爱的谢利… |
| [16:44] | Oh, dear. | 天哪 |
| [16:46] | What’s the matter? | 你怎么了 |
| [16:47] | I’m getting dizzy. | 我有点晕 |
| [16:48] | Don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [16:49] | You’re surrounded by your C-Men. | 你的C战警们(精液 semen)都守护着你 |
| [16:54] | I can’t do this. | 我做不到 |
| [16:55] | I’m going to faint. | 我要晕倒了 |
| [16:56] | Here, drink this.It’ll relax you. | 给 喝点这个 能让你放松 |
| [16:58] | Alcohol? | 酒吗 |
| [16:59] | – I don’t drink alcohol. – Fine, faint. | -我不喝酒的 -好吧 那你晕吧 |
| [17:06] | I don’t feel different.This alcohol is defective. | 没觉得有何不同 这酒根本没用 |
| [17:09] | Here, see if this one works. | 给 看这个有没有用 |
| [17:13] | First of all, the projects were totally different. | 首先 那是完全不同的实验主题 |
| [17:19] | I was showing that classical music nurtures lima beans | 我的实验证明 培植青豆时 给它们放古典乐 |
| [17:23] | and makes them grow, but my mother didn’t hear me. | 能促进它们生长 但我妈根本不听我的 |
| [17:26] | If you’d like to look at the relationship between nurturing and growth, | 想知道精心培育能不能促进成长吗 |
| [17:29] | I’d like to point out that my brother is eight inches taller than me. | 我想郑重指出 我哥哥比我高了整整八英寸[20cm] |
| [17:33] | I’m ready. | 我准备好了 |
| [17:38] | right. | 对了 |
| [17:39] | Ladies and gentlemen, our guest of honor Dr. Sheldon Cooper. | 女士们先生们 欢迎我们的贵宾 谢尔顿·库珀博士 |
| [17:45] | Thanks, shorty, I’ll take it from here. | 谢了小矮人 下面我接手就行了 |
| [17:49] | All right, you people ready to have some fun? | 好了 大家准备好来点乐子了吗 |
| [17:52] | You have a basic understanding of differential calculus | 你们都对微积分有基本认识 |
| [17:54] | and at least one year of algebraic topology? | 并至少学过一年代数拓扑吧 |
| [17:57] | Well, then here come the jokes. | 好吧 下面是笑话时间 |
| [18:00] | （[一个单侧曲面 “科学松鼠会”有过详细介绍]） | |
| [18:00] | Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? | 鸡为什么要穿过默比乌斯带 |
| [18:04] | To get to the same side– bazinga! | 为了回到同一侧 逗你玩呢 |
| [18:08] | All right, a neutron walks into a bar and asks, “How much for a drink?” | 还有 一个中子走进家酒吧问道 酒多少钱一杯 |
| [18:11] | The bartender says, “For you, no charge.” | 酒保回答 你买吗 免费(无电荷) |
| [18:18] | Hello? | 有人在吗 |
| [18:21] | I know you’re out there. | 我知道你们在的 |
| [18:22] | I can hear you metabolizing oxygen and expelling carbon dioxide. | 能听到你们代谢氧气 排出二氧化碳的声音 |
| [18:27] | Looks like we have some academic dignitaries in the audience. | 观众中好像不乏学术权威啊 |
| [18:31] | Dr. Randall from the geology department– | 地质学系的兰德尔教授 |
| [18:33] | （[跟take for granted谐音]） | |
| [18:33] | only man who’s happy when they take his work for granite. | 唯一一位别人说他(研究花岗岩)”花岗岩脑袋” 他还得笑纳的人 |
| [18:36] | Ba-da cha! | 巴扎嘿 |
| [18:40] | I kid the geologists, of course, | 当然 我是在拿地质学家开涮 |
| [18:42] | but it’s only ’cause I have no respect for the field. | 那只是因为我压根就没把那当回事儿 |
| [18:46] | Let’s get serious for a moment. | 下面我们来谈点严肃话题 |
| [18:52] | Why are we all here? | 我们今天为何齐聚于此 |
| [18:55] | ‘Cause we’re scientists. | 因为我们是科学家 |
| [18:57] | And what do scientists study? | 科学家是研究什么的 |
| [18:59] | The universe. | 宇宙 |
| [19:01] | And what’s the universe made of? | 宇宙由何构成 |
| [19:03] | I am so glad you asked. | 很高兴你提这问题 |
| [19:06] | There’s antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium | 有锑 砷 铝 硒 |
| [19:06] | （[The Element’s Song 化学元素周期表歌]） | |
| [19:10] | And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium | 有氢 氧 氮 铼 |
| [19:12] | And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium | 还有镍 钕 镎 锗 |
| [19:15] | Everybody! | 一起唱 |
| [19:16] | And iron, americium | 还有铁 镅 |
| [19:18] | Ruthenium, uranium, europium, zirconium, | 钌 铀 铕 锆 |
| [19:21] | Lutetium, vanadium | 镥 钒 |
| [19:22] | Just the Asians! | 亚洲人唱 |
| [19:23] | And lanthanum and osmium | 还有镧和锇 |
| [19:25] | And astatine and radium… | 砹和镭 |
| [19:43] | Penny, Leonard. | 佩妮 莱纳德 |
| [19:45] | Would you be able to answer some questions | 你们能不能帮我答疑解惑 |
| [19:48] | I’m having about the events of last night? | 昨天晚上我到底怎么回事 |
| [19:51] | Sure. | 当然 |
| [19:53] | Question one… | 问题一 |
| [19:55] | where are my pants? | 我的裤子上哪去了 |
| [19:57] | You might want to check YouTube. | 你可以上YouTube看一下 |
| [20:01] | What do I search? | 怎么找 |
| [20:03] | It’s already loaded. Just hit play. | 已经缓冲好了 直接点开看吧 |
| [20:07] | All right, people, let’s get down to the math. | 好了各位 让我们来聊聊数学吧 |
| [20:11] | It is only three dimensional thinking that limits our imagination. | 仅仅用三维的思考方式 会限制我们的想象力 |
| [20:16] | Can I take my pants off over my head? | 我能从头上脱了裤子吗 |
| [20:18] | Of course not. | 当然不行 |
| [20:21] | My body’s in the way. | 还有我身体挡着的 [视频名：物理学家斯文扫地] |
| [20:22] | But if we had access to higher dimensions, | 但只要能进入更高维度 |
| [20:28] | we could move our pants around our bodies | 就能通过第四维度 |
| [20:32] | through the fourth dimension | 让裤子绕着身体转圈 |
| [20:35] | and our days of dropping trousers would be over. | 以后就再没脱裤子这么一说了 |
| [20:43] | Oh, Lord… | 天哪 |
| [20:45] | This couldn’t be any more humiliating. | 真是丢人丢到家了 |
| [20:47] | Give it a minute. | 还没完呢 |
| [20:48] | Now, for the astronomers in the audience, | 现在 在座的各位天文学家们 |
| [20:51] | get ready to see the dark side of the moon. | 准备好看看月亮背面吧 |
| [20:54] | And here’s Uranus. | 还有天王星在此[Uranus 谐音your anus菊花] |