时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:07] | “The Imperial March” | [《星球大战V 克隆人战争》插曲] |
[00:21] | Would you please turn your shirt off? | 您能行行好把衬衫给关了吗 |
[00:25] | What? | 那怎么行 |
[00:25] | I’m giving myself dramatic entrance music. | 我的闪亮出场需要恢宏的背景音乐 |
[00:27] | People will know I’m awesome and to be feared. | 这样人们才会崇拜并畏惧我 |
[00:31] | Right. | 确实 |
[00:32] | There’s nothing more awesome and frightening than a man | 世上最惊悚的事莫过于 |
[00:34] | who’s got music blasting from between his nipples. | 有音乐从一个男人的咪咪间喷薄而出 |
[00:39] | Hey, Stuart, what’s going on? | 斯图亚特 忙啥呢 |
[00:41] | Well, you might want to mark your Google calendars. | 你可能需要在谷歌日历上记下了 |
[00:43] | Stan Lee is coming to do a signing on Thursday. | 斯坦·李周四来这里开签名会 |
[00:46] | Did he finally write a sequel to his autobiography? | 他的自传出续集了吗 |
[00:49] | I’m sure ages 79 through 87 were just action-packed. | 我就知道80来岁的人照样老当益壮 |
[00:53] | No, just a regular comic signing. | 没 就是普通的漫画签名罢了 |
[00:56] | My uncle is his dermatologist and Stan’s doing him a favor. | 我叔叔是他的皮肤科医生 斯坦·李因此卖个面子给他 |
[00:59] | Oh, I don’t want to know that! | 你告诉我这些干嘛啊你 |
[01:01] | How can I possibly discuss with Stan Lee | 这下好了 我怎么可能一边和斯坦·李讨论 |
[01:04] | the scientific foundations for interstellar flight | 用银质冲浪板 |
[01:05] | on a silver surfboard | 来星际飞行的科学依据 |
[01:07] | when part of my brain will be scanning his face | 一边逐行扫描他的脸 |
[01:10] | for signs of contagious skin disease? | 以寻找皮肤传染病的蛛丝马迹 |
[01:13] | Stan Lee does not have a contagious skin disease. | 斯坦·李没有皮肤传染病 |
[01:17] | Well, look who thinks he’s Stuart’s uncle now. | 一边去 你又不是斯图亚特的叔叔 |
[01:20] | Can’t believe it. We’re going to meet Stan Lee! | 难以置信 我们要见到斯坦·李了 |
[01:24] | “I’m So Excited” | [《变形金刚》中大黄蜂播放过的歌曲] |
[01:33] | I’m sad to say I taught him those moves. | 我错了 我不该教他跳这舞的 |
[02:04] | I can’t decicide whether I want Stan Lee to autograph | 我实在无法取舍 究竟让斯坦·李把名字签在 |
[02:07] | my Journey into Mystery 83, first appearance of Thor | 托尔第一次出场的《神秘之旅》83期上 |
[02:10] | or my Fantastic Four number five, first appearance of Dr. Doom. | 还是签在《神奇四侠》第五本上 死亡博士的处女秀 |
[02:14] | (Jeopardy theme song playing) | [Jeopardy智力竞赛节目 思考时的音乐 节目的主题曲] |
[02:23] | Alex, I’m going to go with what is… | 阿莱克斯 (Jeopardy的主持) 我选的答案是 |
[02:25] | you’re a dumbass? | 你是个傻帽 |
[02:33] | I’ve decided I’m going to have Mr. Lee sign my copy | 我决定让斯坦·李把名签在 |
[02:36] | of this month’s Batman. | 这个月的《蝙蝠侠》上 |
[02:38] | That’s crazy. | 有病吧你 |
[02:39] | Stan Lee had nothing to do with Batman. | 蝙蝠侠又不是斯坦·李的作品[竞争对手] |
[02:41] | Yes, which is why no one else will ask him to sign one, | 对啊 所以其他人不会让他签这个 |
[02:44] | and I will be the possessor of | 于是我就会拥有一件 |
[02:45] | a unique, albeit confusing, artifact, | 虽然怪异但独一无二的稀世珍宝 |
[02:47] | which will set me apart | 我从此就和那群芸芸 |
[02:49] | from hoi polloi of comic book fandom. | 漫画迷不再是一个级别的了 |
[02:52] | That’s a great idea. | 这点子不错 |
[02:53] | I’m going to get him to sign a Batman as well. | 我也让他签《蝙蝠侠》去 |
[02:56] | What is it about the word “unique” you don’t understand? | 你对独一无二这个词很难理解么 |
[03:02] | Damn, paper cut. | 靠 手被纸片划破了 |
[03:03] | Nothing worse than a paper cut. | 被纸割伤最痛苦了 |
[03:04] | Well, obviously you don’t remember your circumcision. | 你忘了割礼吧[犹太儿童切除包皮的仪式] |
[03:10] | There’s Neosporin and Band-Aids in my top desk drawer. | 上面抽屉里有新孢霉素和创口贴 |
[03:12] | Why don’t you keep that stuff in the bathroom? | 这些东西不是该放在卫生间里吗 |
[03:15] | He does. And in the kitchen. | 卫生间里有 还有厨房里 |
[03:17] | And in the car. And in his pocket. | 还有车里 再加上他口袋里 |
[03:19] | Yeah, but the ones in my pocket are mine. | 没错 但我口袋里的可不给别人用 |
[03:23] | – Hi! – Hey. | -嗨 -嘿 |
[03:25] | Guess who’s going to be | 猜猜看 |
[03:25] | at the comic bookstore on Thursday? | 周四谁会去漫画店 |
[03:27] | Um… can you give me a hint? | 呃 给点提示吧 |
[03:28] | Stan Lee. | 斯坦·李 |
[03:30] | Um… Stanley… | 噢 斯坦利 |
[03:32] | Stanley… Stanley Tucci? | 斯坦利·图奇?[著名演员] |
[03:34] | No. | 不是 |
[03:36] | No, Stan… Lee. | 是斯坦·李 |
[03:38] | Oh, oh, Stan Lee! | 哦 斯坦·李嘛 |
[03:41] | Cool! | 不错嘛 |
[03:44] | You have no idea who he is, do you? | 你根本不知道他是谁吧 |
[03:46] | Of course I do. | 谁说的 我当然知道 |
[03:48] | You’re an important part of my life | 你是我生命中的重要的一部分 |
[03:50] | and I pay attention to the things you are interested in. | 我自然会爱屋及乌啦 |
[03:52] | Oh, good. | 是嘛 好啊 |
[03:54] | Good. | 好极了 |
[03:56] | So, who’s Stan Lee? | 那你说说 斯坦·李是谁 |
[03:57] | Um… he was on Star Trek. | 星际迷航里的 |
[04:03] | Nope. | 猜错了 |
[04:05] | – Star Wars? – No. | -那就星球大战 -又错 |
[04:07] | Um… uh, Stan Lee. | 呃 斯坦·李 |
[04:09] | Ooh, he was in those | 我知道了 |
[04:10] | goofy kung fu movies you love so much? | 是你喜欢的傻帽功夫片里的 |
[04:12] | That’s Bruce Lee. | 那是李小龙 |
[04:15] | Oh. | 啊哦 |
[04:16] | So, is this Bruce Lee’s nerdy brother, Stan? | 那这是小龙的书呆子哥哥斯坦? |
[04:20] | Sheldon, why do you have all these unopened | 谢尔顿 你抽屉怎么有那么多 |
[04:22] | paychecks in your desk? | 没拆封的薪水支票 |
[04:24] | Because most of the things I’m planning to buy | 因为我想买的东西 |
[04:26] | haven’t been invented yet. | 市面上基本上都没有 |
[04:29] | There-there must be thousands of dollars here. | 这儿得有好几千块了吧 |
[04:32] | Why don’t you put it in the bank? | 你干嘛不存银行里 |
[04:33] | I don’t trust banks. | 鬼才相信银行 |
[04:35] | I believe that when the robots rise up, | 我坚信如果有一天机器人奋起反抗了 |
[04:37] | ATMs will lead the charge. | 自动取款机肯定是起义军领袖 |
[04:40] | You’ve also got something from the Pasadena Municipal Court. | 这儿还有一封 帕萨迪纳市法院寄来的东西 |
[04:44] | Undoubtedly another snide response to my repeated letters complaining | 肯定又是回信来鄙视我 之前寄去的几封信里 |
[04:48] | that the flags in front of the courthouse are flying in the wrong order. | 投诉了法院门口的旗子 次序是错误的 |
[04:51] | From left to right, it’s supposed to be federal, state, | 按照从左到右的顺序 应该先是联邦旗 州旗 |
[04:54] | and then city of Pasadena. | 最后才轮到帕萨迪纳市旗 |
[04:56] | I’m sorry. You sent more than one letter about that? | 打断一下 你为此寄了好几封信过去 |
[05:00] | It bothers me. | 它们看着太碍眼了 |
[05:04] | Sheldon, this is a summons. | 谢尔顿 这是封传票 |
[05:05] | A summons for what? | 什么的传票 |
[05:07] | Looks like you ran a red light M Margo Avenue | 信上说你在玛格大道闯了红灯 |
[05:10] | at 9:30 p.m. on November 16. | 时间是11月16号晚上9点半 |
[05:14] | They got you on a traffic camera. | 你被路边的摄像头拍下来了 |
[05:15] | Nice picture. | 挺上镜嘛 |
[05:21] | November 16? | 11月16号 |
[05:24] | Penny, that’s the evening you fell in your bathtub | 佩妮 那不就是你在浴缸里摔倒 |
[05:26] | and I had to drive you to the emergency room. | 然后我不得不带你去看急诊的那晚吗 |
[05:28] | No, it isn’t. | 不是 |
[05:30] | Yes, it is. | 就是 |
[05:31] | No, it isn’t. | 就不是 |
[05:33] | Penny, I have an eidetic memory. | 佩妮 我记得很清楚 |
[05:35] | Also, that’s a picture of you in the passenger seat | 而且摄像头也拍下了你在副驾驶位置上 |
[05:37] | holding your dislocated shoulder. | 托着你那脱臼的肩膀 |
[05:38] | Mmm, no, it isn’t. | 才不是呢 |
[05:42] | Okay, then why is a summons for a traffic violation | 好吧 那为啥传票上违反交规的 |
[05:46] | committed in your car, bearing your license plates, | 是你的车 而且挂着你的车牌 |
[05:48] | coming to me? | 却寄来我这儿了 |
[05:55] | Okay, look, they sent me the ticket. | 好吧 他们给我发了传票 |
[05:57] | I told them I wasn’t driving | 我告诉他们当时并不是我开的车 |
[05:58] | and they were all, “If it wasn’t you, who was it?” | 然后他们逼问我”除了你还有谁” |
[06:00] | So you betrayed me? | 于是你就把我出卖了 |
[06:02] | No! | 才没有 |
[06:03] | It wasn’t a betrayal. | 这哪是出卖 |
[06:05] | It was more of a “I can’t afford any more points on my license.” | 我只不过表示”我的驾照已经没分好扣了” |
[06:07] | I already have to buy my insurance | 我已经不得不 |
[06:09] | from this place in the Cayman Islands. | 去开曼群岛上买车险了 |
[06:11] | But the only reason I was driving your car | 但我之所以开你的车还不是因为 |
[06:14] | was because you were in distress and I was rescuing you. | 你当时可怜兮兮的我才伸出援手 |
[06:16] | Yes,you have a photo to remember that heroic day. | 你有张照片记录英勇的一天 |
[06:21] | It’s not that big a deal. | 没什么大不了的 |
[06:24] | You just go down to the court on Thursday | 你只要周四去法院 |
[06:26] | and you pay the fine. | 交罚金就行 |
[06:27] | I’m not going to pay a fine. | 我才不去交罚金 |
[06:29] | That would imply I’m guilty. | 那就说明我有罪 |
[06:30] | You are guilty. | 你确实有罪 |
[06:33] | [《法律与秩序》的主题曲] | |
[06:36] | That one I liked. | 这个我喜欢 |
[06:41] | I am not guilty. | 我是无罪的 |
[06:43] | I only have a learner’s permit. | 我只有实习驾照 |
[06:44] | Penny was the teacher. | 佩妮教我的 |
[06:45] | When the light turned yellow she said “Go, go, go.” | 转黄灯时 她就说”快快快” |
[06:47] | So I went, went, went. | 于是我就”开开开” |
[06:50] | Sheldon, I’m sorry. | 谢尔顿 对不起 |
[06:51] | I’ll be happy to reimburse you for the fine. | 我会还你罚金的钱 |
[06:53] | You know, as soon as I get a part in a movie or my own TV series. | 只要我能参演一部电影 或者自己拍个电视剧 |
[06:57] | You don’t need to reimburse me because I’m not paying. | 不用你还 因为我不会交的 |
[06:59] | On Thursday, I will have my day in court and justice will be done. | 周四那天 我会去法院 正义会得到伸张 |
[07:03] | In fact, I’m going to begin preparing my defense right now. | 我现在就着手准备辩护 |
[07:08] | Okay, he’s going to jail. | 他坐定牢了 |
[07:11] | Oh, that’s right. Thursday is Stan Lee Day. | 对哦 周四是斯坦·李签名日 |
[07:17] | Now you see what you’ve done? | 看到你做的好事了吧 |
[07:20] | Because of you, we’re all going to miss Stan Lee. | 就因为你 我们都见不到斯坦·李了 |
[07:27] | What do you mean “all?” | 你说”都”是什么意思 |
[07:28] | Well, you’re my friends. | 你们是我朋友啊 |
[07:30] | You’ll be standing by my side, supporting me, feeding me legal precedents, | 你们要站在我旁边 支持我 为我提供案例 |
[07:34] | and if you had the upper body strength, | 你们上身要是够壮 |
[07:36] | carrying me out on your shoulders when I’m victorious. | 我胜诉时 可以把我搁肩膀上扛出去 |
[07:40] | Yeah, okay. No. | 这个嘛 不行 |
[07:42] | Are you saying that you will not stand beside me | 你是说我为自己辩护时 |
[07:44] | as I plead my case? | 你不会来站在我身边吗 |
[07:46] | That’s what I’m saying. | 是这个意思 |
[07:48] | Howard? | 霍华德 |
[07:50] | Uh, Stan Lee, or you in court. | 斯坦·李 法庭上的你 |
[07:53] | Uh, if this was Sophie’s Choice | 要是《苏菲的选择》有这么简单 |
[07:56] | it would’ve been a much shorter movie. No. | 电影就不会那么长了 不行 |
[07:58] | Raj? You’ll be there, won’t you? | 拉杰 你会来吧 |
[08:04] | All right, then. My so-called friends have forsaken me. | 那好吧 我所谓的朋友都抛弃了我 |
[08:08] | So, I guess it’ll just be me and my eyewitness. | 看来只剩我和目击证人了 |
[08:12] | Oh, balls. | 晕死 |
[08:15] | Please try to wear something appropriate. | 请着装得体一点 |
[08:17] | It won’t help my case | 要是法官只顾着想 |
[08:18] | if the judge is busy trying to read the word “Juicy” | 你屁股上’美味多汁’的意思 |
[08:20] | scrawled across your buttocks. | 对我的案子没好处 |
[08:28] | Penny. | 佩妮 |
[08:29] | Penny. | 佩妮 |
[08:31] | Penny. | 佩妮 |
[08:34] | That’s just wrong. | 节奏不对 |
[08:36] | All right, let’s go. | 好了 走吧 |
[08:38] | Wait, hold on. Before we get to the courthouse, | 等一下 去法院之前 |
[08:41] | I’d like to call on your skills as an actress. | 我想看一下你的演技 |
[08:44] | What is this? | 这是什么 |
[08:45] | I’ve taken the liberty | 我冒昧地 |
[08:46] | of scripting your appearance on the witness stand | 为你起草了出庭作证的剧本 |
[08:48] | because, let’s face it, you’re somewhat of a loose cannon. | 面对现实 你有点我行我素 |
[08:50] | Now, don’t worry; it’s written in your vernacular. | 别担心 都是用你的方言写的 |
[08:53] | So shall we rehearse? | 我们排练一下如何 |
[08:54] | Do I have a choice? | 我有得选吗 |
[08:55] | Well, of course you have a choice. | 你当然有选择权 |
[08:57] | Although we live in a deterministic universe, | 虽然我们生活在宿命里 |
[09:00] | each individual has free will. | 但每个人都有自由选择的权力 |
[09:01] | Now, sit down. | 给我坐下 |
[09:03] | I call your attention to the events of November 16. | 请你回忆下 11月16日发生的事 |
[09:08] | Do you remember that date? | 你记得那天吗 |
[09:09] | “Darn tootin’, I do. | 废话 我记得 |
[09:14] | “If the court will excuse my homespun, | 请法官原谅我家乡内布拉斯加 |
[09:17] | corn-fed Nebraskan turn of phrase.” | 粗俗简朴的语言 |
[09:19] | Excellent. Go on. | 很好 继续 |
[09:22] | “The reason that date is, like, | 我记得那天 |
[09:24] | “so totally fixed in my memory | 而且铭记在我的脑子里 |
[09:27] | “is that I had the privilege to be witness | 是因为我有幸目睹了 |
[09:28] | to one of the most heroic acts I’ve ever seen in, like, ever.” | 毕生从未见过的英勇行为 |
[09:34] | “And who performed that heroic act?” | 谁的英勇行为 |
[09:37] | “Why, you did, sir. | 您的啊 阁下 |
[09:39] | “You. Dr. Sheldon Cooper. | 您 谢尔顿·库珀博士 |
[09:41] | And may I add, it is a privilege to know you.” | 而且我想说 我很荣幸认识您 |
[09:46] | “There’s no need for compliments. | 不必称赞我 |
[09:47] | This court is only interested in the facts.” | 法庭只看重事实 |
[09:49] | “But it is a fact that it’s a privilege to know you. | 但感觉很荣幸能认识您啊也是个事实啊 |
[09:53] | Totally.” | 真的 |
[09:57] | A teardrop rolls down my cheek?! | 一滴泪从我面颊流下 |
[10:00] | Only a suggestion. | 纯属建议 |
[10:02] | A catch in your throat would work just as well. | 喉咙哽咽一下也可以 |
[10:06] | “But it is a fact | 但我感觉 |
[10:08] | “that it’s a privilege to know you. | 很荣幸能认识您啊也是个事实啊 |
[10:11] | Totally.” | 真的 |
[10:16] | Maybe you should put on your “Juicy” pants again. | 你还是穿”美味多汁”的裤子吧 |
[10:22] | Pay the cashier. | 去交罚金 |
[10:23] | Sheldon Cooper. | 谢尔顿·库珀 |
[10:28] | Good morning, Your Honor. | 早上好 法官大人 |
[10:30] | Dr. Sheldon Cooper appearing in pro se. | 我是谢尔顿·库珀博士 自我辩护 |
[10:34] | That is to say, representing himself. | 也就是说 代表我自己 |
[10:36] | I know what it means. | 我知道什么意思 |
[10:37] | I went to law school. | 我读过法律学校 |
[10:38] | And yet you wound up in traffic court. | 结果却在审理交通法庭 |
[10:42] | Anyway, | 不管怎样 |
[10:44] | if it would please the court, | 法官允许的话 |
[10:45] | I’d like to begin with an opening statement. | 我想做个开庭陈述 |
[10:47] | The court would advise you to make it quick, | 法官会建议你简短点 |
[10:49] | as the court had a dicey-looking breakfast burrito this morning | 因为法官早上吃了可能馊了的玉米煎饼 |
[10:52] | and just took an Imodium. | 而且刚吃了易蒙停(止泻药) |
[10:56] | A quick opening statement. | 快速的开场陈述 |
[10:58] | Like a milking stool, my case rests on three legs. | 如同一个挤奶凳 本案有三个 立足点 |
[11:03] | I will demonstrate | 我要论证的是 |
[11:05] | that I was improperly instructed in driving | 我在驾驶过程中 受到一个女人的误导 |
[11:07] | by a woman whose lack of respect for society | 这个女人缺乏社会上 |
[11:09] | borders on the sociopathic. | 对反社会界定的基本认识 |
[11:10] | I will argue | 我要争辩的是 |
[11:12] | that the emergency met the legal doctrine | 紧急情况下的法律原理 |
[11:15] | of quod est necessarium est licitum– | 是需要即合法[拉丁文] |
[11:17] | that which is necessary is legal. | 也就是需要即合法 |
[11:19] | But first, | 但首先 |
[11:20] | I will raise a Sixth Amendment issue. | 我要提出第六条修正案[美国权利法案] |
[11:22] | I’m unable to confront my accuser, | 我无法与控方对峙 |
[11:25] | a non-human entity, to wit, | 因为控方是一台非人类机器 |
[11:27] | a camera. | 也就是摄像机 |
[11:28] | So, to sum up: | 所以 综上所述 |
[11:29] | improper instruction; | 错误指导 |
[11:31] | quod est necessarium est licitum; | 加上”需要即合法”的原理 |
[11:32] | Sixth Amendment. | 还有第六条修正案 |
[11:34] | My milk stool is complete. | 我的挤奶凳辨述完毕 |
[11:36] | Impressive. | 佩服佩服 |
[11:37] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[11:37] | Guilty. | 罪名成立 |
[11:38] | Pay the cashier. | 去付钱吧 |
[11:40] | I object. | 我反对 |
[11:42] | You’re completely ignoring the law. | 你这是在无视法律 |
[11:44] | No, I’m following the law. | 不 我遵守法律 |
[11:45] | I’m ignoring you. | 只是在无视你 |
[11:47] | Really? | 是吗 |
[11:49] | I would point out that I am at the top of my profession, | 提醒你一下 我可是业内顶尖人士 |
[11:52] | while you preside over the kiddy table of yours. | 你却坐在桌子后面过家家 |
[11:56] | Dr. Cooper, before I find you in contempt | 库珀博士 我给你个机会为你最后的言论道歉 |
[11:58] | and throw you in jail, I’m going to give you a chance | 不然我要视你为蔑视法庭 |
[12:01] | to apologize for that last remark. | 把你扔进监狱 |
[12:03] | I am a scientist. | 我可是个科学家 |
[12:04] | I never apologize for the truth. | 我才不会为陈述事实而道歉 |
[12:13] | That’s my spot. | 那是我的位置 |
[12:23] | I can’t wait to ask Stan Lee | 我等不及要问斯坦·李 |
[12:25] | why he insists on giving all his characters first and last names | 为什么他笔下每个角色的姓和名 |
[12:28] | that start with the same letter. | 开头字母都是一样的 |
[12:30] | Oh, come on. Why would you do that? | 得了 你真是十万个为什么[以下均为惊奇漫画人物] |
[12:32] | Bruce Banner, Reed Richards, | 布鲁斯·班纳 里德·理查 |
[12:32] | (分别出自《绿巨人》和《神奇四侠》) | |
[12:34] | Sue Storm, Stephen Strange, | 苏珊·斯汤 斯蒂芬·史催博士 |
[12:34] | (分别出自《神奇四侠》和《怪谈故事》 后者为惊奇的系列漫画) | |
[12:36] | Otto Octavius, Silver Surfer, | 奥拓·八爪博士和银影侠 |
[12:36] | (分别出自《蜘蛛侠》和《神奇四侠》) | |
[12:38] | Peter Parker, oh, and worst of all, | 彼得·帕克 还有最夸张的 |
[12:38] | (出自《蜘蛛侠》) | |
[12:40] | J. Jonah Jameson, Jr. | 小约翰·约拿·詹姆森 |
[12:40] | (出自《神奇的蜘蛛侠》) | |
[12:45] | Okay, I’m cutting. | 好吧 我要插在你前面 |
[12:47] | I’m not gonna talk to Stan Lee after you cheese him off. | 免得斯坦·李被你惹毛了我遭殃 |
[12:50] | “Spider-Man” theme ringtone playing | 《蜘蛛侠》的主题音乐铃声 |
[12:55] | Hey. | 嗨 |
[12:56] | Sheldon’s in jail. | 谢尔顿进了监狱 |
[12:57] | Sheldon’s in jail?! | 啥 谢尔顿进了监狱?! |
[12:59] | You called it. | 被你说中了 |
[13:02] | – For what? – What do you think? | -怎么搞的 -你觉得呢 |
[13:04] | For doing the same crap he always does, | 就是他平时一贯的找抽风格 |
[13:06] | except to a judge. | 只不过法官不吃这一套 |
[13:07] | He has to stay in there until he apologizes. | 他不道歉就出不来 |
[13:10] | So tell him to apologize. | 那就让他道歉啊 |
[13:12] | Oh, gee, thanks, Leonard. That didn’t occur to me. | 多谢提醒 莱纳德 你以为我没想过吗 |
[13:15] | If he doesn’t apologize by 5:00, | 如果他五点前还不道歉 |
[13:17] | he is going to spend the night in jail. | 就得在监狱里过夜了 |
[13:19] | Oh, no, that’s terrible. | 哦不 真是糟糕 |
[13:22] | Ooh, the line’s moving. Got to go. Bye. | 哇 队伍动了 挂了 回见 |
[13:33] | Excuse me? | 有人吗 |
[13:35] | Excuse me, jailor? | 狱卒在吗 |
[13:37] | What? | 咋了 |
[13:39] | I need to use the restroom. | 我要上厕所 |
[13:41] | Knock yourself out. | 在那边 自便 |
[13:45] | That’s the toilet? | 这算是马桶? |
[13:47] | Well, it ain’t a wishing well. | 不然你以为是许愿池吗 |
[13:51] | Please tell the judge I’m ready to apologize. | 请转告法官 我准备向他道歉 |
[13:57] | Look at that. | 看啊 |
[13:58] | “To my friend, Leonard. | “致吾友 莱纳德 |
[14:01] | From Stan Lee, Excelsior!” | 独行侠 斯坦·李” |
[14:01] | (惊奇漫画的一个系列 后改称Loners) | |
[14:05] | Awesome. | 牛逼 |
[14:05] | Mine says, “To my friend, Howard. | 我上面写的是 “致吾友 霍华德” |
[14:08] | From Stan Lee, Excelsior!” | 独行侠 斯坦·李 |
[14:12] | Mine says, “To Raj, from Stan Lee.” | 我上面写的是 “致拉杰 斯坦·李” |
[14:20] | That’s ’cause you pissed him off about his character names. | 因为你纠结他的角色名 把他惹毛了 |
[14:22] | Hey, | 搞毛 |
[14:23] | I didn’t even mention Dum Dum Dugan or Green Goblin, | 我还没提达姆弹头杜甘和绿魔 |
[14:23] | (前者是惊奇漫画虚拟组织S.H.I.E.L.D成员 后者出自《蜘蛛侠》) | |
[14:26] | Matt Murdock, Pepper Potts, | 马特·默多克和小辣椒波兹 |
[14:26] | (分别出自《夜魔侠》和《钢铁侠》) | |
[14:28] | Victor Von Doom, | 末日博士[出自《神奇四侠》] |
[14:29] | oh, and worst of all, | 还有最夸张的 |
[14:31] | Millie the Model. | 米莉模特(惊奇漫画的长篇幽默系列) |
[14:34] | We’re home. | 我们回来了 |
[14:36] | Oh, hey, buddy. How’d it go? | 伙计 情况如何 |
[14:37] | You know very well how it went. | 你明明都知道了还问个屁 |
[14:39] | Yeah, but we all want to hear it from you. | 是啊 但我们想听你亲口说 |
[14:45] | I was found guilty and fined $533. | 我被判有罪 还被罚了533美元 |
[14:47] | I’m going to write you a check for that. | 我会写张支票给你 |
[14:50] | As long as you promise to put it in your drawer | 只要你答应我藏在抽屉里 |
[14:52] | and never cash it, like the others. | 别去兑换 就和其他那些东西一样 |
[14:57] | I also now have three points | 我还没有驾照 |
[14:59] | on a driver’s license I do not yet possess, | 但上面已经被扣了三点 |
[15:01] | and I was forced to issue an undeserved apology, | 还被迫道了个冤枉歉 |
[15:04] | simply because I refuse to urinate | 只因为我拒绝在一群犯人面前 |
[15:06] | in a stainless steel bowl in front of criminals. | 就着个不锈钢尿盆排尿 |
[15:10] | Plus, you didn’t get to meet Stan Lee. | 再加上 你错过了和斯坦·李见面 |
[15:13] | Okay, that’s enough, Howard. | 好了 别刺激他了 霍华德 |
[15:15] | The poor guy’s had a tough time. | 这可怜虫够难受的了 |
[15:17] | He had to spend the entire afternoon in jail | 一个下午都待在监狱 |
[15:19] | wearing that suit. | 还穿成这幅德行 |
[15:21] | You’re right, | 说得对 |
[15:24] | so it would be cruel to mention | 所以我们也别提在亲笔签名后 |
[15:26] | that after he finished signing autographs, | 他带斯图尔特和咱一起去吃了意式冰淇淋 |
[15:27] | Stanley took Stuart and us out for gelato. | 这就太残酷了 |
[15:32] | You had gelato with Stan Lee? | 你们和斯坦·李共进意式冰淇淋? |
[15:35] | He said we could call him Stan. | 他还允许我们叫他斯坦 |
[15:38] | Except for Raj. | 除了拉杰 |
[15:45] | Well, I hope you’re satisfied, Penny. | 你这下满意了吧 佩妮 |
[15:47] | You are responsible | 今天我所遭受的磨难 |
[15:49] | for all the evil that has be fallen me today. | 这全都是你的错 |
[15:52] | – Okay, I realize that… – Not finished. | -好吧 我知道… -我还没说完呢 |
[15:54] | It is because of you | 都是因为你 |
[15:55] | that I now have a criminal record, | 害得我有了犯罪记录 |
[15:57] | and it is because of you that I missed out | 还因为你 害得我 |
[15:59] | on having gelato with Stan Lee. | 错过了和斯坦·李共进意式冰淇淋 |
[16:01] | – Okay, maybe you’ll have another chance to have… – No, no. | -好吧 也许以后还有机会… -不可能了 |
[16:03] | I will never have another chance to have gelato with Stan Lee | 再也没有这种机会了 |
[16:07] | because opportunities to have | 因为和斯坦·李一起共进意式冰淇淋的机会 |
[16:08] | gelato with Stan Lee come but once in a lifetime. | 一生只有一次 |
[16:11] | The Moving Finger writes, | 手起笔落 |
[16:13] | and having writ, moves on | 白纸黑字再难改[出自《鲁拜集》] |
[16:20] | Did he just somehow give me the finger? | 他刚是朝我竖中指了吗 |
[16:25] | Not just the finger. | 可不只是手指 |
[16:26] | The moving finger. | 还挥起了小手 |
[16:32] | Hey Stuart. | 你好 斯图尔特 |
[16:34] | Oh hey Penny. | 你好 佩妮 |
[16:40] | – What’s going on? – Nothing. | -怎么了 -没什么 |
[16:42] | I’m just getting ready to close up and… head out. | 我正准备打烊 然后出发 |
[16:46] | Cool. Got any fun plans? | 真好 晚上有安排 |
[16:48] | Oh yeah. Big night tonight. | 对 今晚有重大安排 |
[16:51] | Gonna share a can of tuna with the cat. | 跟只猫一起共享金枪鱼罐头 |
[16:56] | Oh nice. | 真好 |
[16:58] | Not even my cat. | 那甚至不是我的猫 |
[17:00] | I just feed it. | 我就喂喂它 |
[17:01] | Some nights it doesn’t even show up. | 有几晚它甚至都不会出现 |
[17:04] | Oh okay. | 好吧 |
[17:06] | Well I was hoping you could do me a favor. | 我希望 你能帮我个忙 |
[17:09] | Sure yeah name it. | 义不容辞 说吧 |
[17:11] | Well I’m kind of responsible for Sheldon missing Stan Lee | 这次谢尔顿没见上斯坦·李 我得负一定责任 |
[17:13] | and I really want to make it up to him. | 我真的很想弥补他 |
[17:15] | So I was hoping you could give me his phone number | 所以希望你能给我他的电话 |
[17:17] | so maybe I can arrange for them to meet. | 也许我能安排他们见个面 |
[17:19] | Oh I’m sorry I don’t have his phone number. | 抱歉 我没他电话 |
[17:21] | Damn. | 该死 |
[17:23] | All right. Thank you. | 好吧 谢了 |
[17:26] | Wait. | 等等 |
[17:28] | I have his address. | 我有他地址 |
[17:30] | Really? | 真的 |
[17:31] | Great! | 太好了 |
[17:33] | But I can’t give it to you. | 但不能告诉你 |
[17:36] | Then why did you tell me you had it? | 那你为什么要提这茬 |
[17:38] | I don’t know. Just chatting. | 我不知道 这不聊天嘛 |
[17:41] | You’re looking at a guy | 别这样看着我 |
[17:43] | who could very well get stood up by a stray cat tonight. | 我已经可怜到 连流浪猫 都可能放我鸽子 |
[17:46] | I’m sorry Stuart. | 抱歉 斯图尔特 |
[17:47] | Thanks anyway. | 不管怎样 谢了 |
[17:51] | Wait. | 等等 |
[17:53] | Yeah? | 怎么了 |
[17:54] | Maybe we can make a deal. | 不如我们做笔交易 |
[17:56] | What kind of deal? | 什么交易 |
[17:58] | I will give you the address | 我告诉你地址 |
[18:00] | if you go to my cousin’s wedding with me. | 你就陪我去参加我表妹的婚礼 |
[18:03] | You’re extorting a date out of me? | 你这是在逼我跟你约会 |
[18:05] | I kind of have to. | 我没其他办法 |
[18:06] | The cousin who’s getting married | 这次要结婚的这个表妹 |
[18:08] | is the cousin I usually go to weddings with. | 就是以前经常陪我参加别人婚礼的那个 |
[18:10] | Can I bring Leonard? | 我能带上莱纳德吗 |
[18:12] | Sure. What the hell. | 当然 随便吧 |
[18:15] | Deal. | 成交 |
[18:16] | We’ll tell people he’s your cousin. | 告诉别人他是你表哥就行 |
[18:20] | This is Stan Lee’s front door. | 这是斯坦·李家的大门 |
[18:23] | We were on Stan Lee’s curb | 越过斯坦·李家马路牙子 |
[18:24] | then we were on Stan Lee’s walk | 走过斯坦·李经常走过的路 |
[18:26] | and now we’re at Stan Lee’s front door. | 终于来到了斯坦·李家大门外 |
[18:29] | Yup. | 对 |
[18:31] | Oh Lord you just rang Stan Lee’s doorbell. | 天哪 你按了斯坦·李家门铃 |
[18:33] | At Stan Lee’s house. | 就站在斯坦·李家门外 |
[18:35] | We’re about to go in and have milk and cookies with Stan Lee. | 我们就要进去 跟斯坦·李共享牛奶和点心 |
[18:37] | Okay sweetie I don’t know if we’re gonna have cookies | 亲爱的 我不确定他是否会招待我们点心 |
[18:39] | or he’s just gonna say hi | 还是直接问候了事 |
[18:41] | or really what’s gonna happen so just let me talk and… | 还是会怎么着 所以让我来跟他谈… |
[18:44] | Yeah? | 哪位 |
[18:48] | Are you Stan Lee? | 你就是斯坦·李吗 |
[18:50] | Oh damn. | 见鬼 |
[18:53] | Hi. I’m Penny. This is my friend Sheldon. | 你好 我叫佩妮 这位是我朋友谢尔顿 |
[18:55] | We’re not friends at the moment. | 她现在不是我朋友 |
[18:56] | Depends on how this goes. | 鉴于此刻形势 |
[18:58] | Right right. Anyway | 好吧 总之 |
[19:00] | Sheldon here is a huge fan of yours and he was supposed | 谢尔顿是您的超级粉丝 他原打算 |
[19:02] | to meet you the other day at the comic book store | 那天去漫画书店参加您的签名会 |
[19:04] | but he kind of ended up in jail. | 可惜最后进了监狱 |
[19:08] | I see. And you thought | 了解 你们真以为 |
[19:09] | you’d just come over to my house uninvited? | 这样不请自来 就能随便敲我家门 |
[19:12] | You said we were invited. | 你说过我们是受邀来的 |
[19:14] | Oh no no I said I’m inviting you | 不不 我只说我邀请你 |
[19:16] | to come with me to Stan Lee’s house. | 跟我一起去斯坦·李家 |
[19:19] | You know you fan boys are unbelievable. | 你们这些自称粉丝的 真是不可思议 |
[19:22] | Do you think you can just ring my doorbell any time you want? | 真以为只要自己高兴 随时都能按我家门铃 |
[19:25] | I mean why don’t you just come on in | 既然这样 干嘛不索性进门来 |
[19:27] | and watch the Lakers game with me? | 跟我一起看湖人队比赛好了 |
[19:29] | Well I’m not much of a sports fan | 我不是很爱好体育 |
[19:32] | but thank you. | 不过感谢邀请 |
[19:35] | I’m sorry. He doesn’t really understand sarcasm. | 我很抱歉 他不是很懂什么叫讽刺 |
[19:38] | Well I’ll give him something he’ll understand. | 好吧 我动点真格的 他就会懂了 |
[19:41] | Joanie call the police! | 琼妮 快报警 |
[19:43] | Nice to meet you. | 很高兴见到你 |
[19:50] | Fantastic Four Daredevil invincible Iron Man | 《神奇四侠》 《夜魔侠》 《无敌钢铁超人》 |
[19:54] | (分别为《钢铁侠》《蜘蛛侠》中角色) | |
[19:54] | Happy Hogan Curt Connors… | 快乐霍根 蜥蜴博士 |
[19:56] | Would you just let it go? | 你能不能消停会 |
[19:58] | (Fin Fang Foom是《钢铁侠》中一条龙的形象) | |
[19:58] | And worst of all Fin Fang Foom. | 还有最糟糕的 非凡龙 |
[20:05] | Hey where’ve you been? | 你去哪了 |
[20:07] | I’ll tell you where I’ve been. | 我告诉你们我去哪了 |
[20:09] | You boys may have had gelato with Stan Lee | 你们或许跟斯坦·李一起吃了冰激凌 |
[20:12] | and gotten autographed comics | 还得了他亲笔签名的漫画 |
[20:13] | but I saw the inside of his house | 我可是亲自进了他家 |
[20:15] | and got an autographed application for a restraining order. | 还得到了他亲笔签名的禁制令申请状 |
[20:21] | Sweet. | 赞 |
[20:24] | Plus I get to hang out with him again at the hearing. | 还有 等听证会时 我还能再见到他 |
[20:29] | This is going to look great hanging next | 挂在我那伦纳德·尼莫伊(史波克扮演者)签名的禁制令旁 |
[20:32] | to my restraining order from Leonard Nimoy. | 那一定会非常酷 |