时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:03] | So two years later, there’s a knock on the door. | 两年之后 突然有人敲门了 |
[00:06] | Guy opens it, and there on his porch is the snail, | 那人打开门 看见门口立着只蜗牛 |
[00:08] | who says, “What the heck was all that about?” | 蜗牛说 “这TM是怎么回事?” |
[00:13] | I don’t really get it. | 我不知道笑点在哪儿 |
[00:15] | Well, see, it took two years for the snail to… | 你看 蜗牛花了两年的时间才… |
[00:22] | Not important. | 那不重要 |
[00:25] | – Can I ask you a question? – Sure. | -我能问你个问题吗 -当然 |
[00:28] | Where do you think this is going? | 你认为我们会发展到什么程度 |
[00:31] | To be honest, I was hoping at least second base. | 老实说 我本来希望至少上个二垒 |
[00:35] | You’re so funny. | 你真风趣 |
[00:38] | You’re like a stand-up comedian. | 你就像是个单口相声演员 |
[00:40] | A Jewish stand-up comedian, that’d be new. | 一个犹太单口相声演员 这很新鲜 |
[00:44] | Actually, I think a lot of them are Jewish. | 事实上 我觉得他们当中很多都是犹太人 |
[00:48] | No, I was just… Never mind. | 不 我只是 算了 |
[00:52] | Look, Howard, this is our third date | 霍华德 这是我们的第三次约会 |
[00:55] | and we both know what that means. | 我们都知道这意味着什么 |
[00:57] | – We do? – Sex. | -都知道吗 -性 |
[01:02] | You’re kidding. | 你开玩笑的吧 |
[01:04] | But I need to know whether you’re looking | 但我需要知道你是要谈 |
[01:07] | for a relationship or a one-night stand. | 一场恋爱还是要一夜情 |
[01:10] | Okay, just to be clear: | 好的 只是搞清楚点 |
[01:12] | there’s only one correct answer, right? | 这个问题只有一个正确答案吗 |
[01:15] | It’s not like “chicken or fish” on an airplane? | 而不是飞机选餐里的要”鸡肉还是鱼肉” |
[01:18] | Maybe you need to think about it a little. | 也许你需要认真思考一下这个问题了 |
[01:20] | You know, it’s not unheard of | 也不是没有过 |
[01:22] | for a one-night stand to turn into a relationship. | 从一夜情发展为恋爱关系的事 |
[01:28] | Call me when you figure it out. | 等你想明白了再给我打电话 |
[01:33] | Three dates means sex? | 三次约会意味着性 |
[01:40] | Who knew? | 谁知道啊 |
[01:45] | Greetings, homies. | 向你致敬 宅男 |
[01:48] | Homette. | 宅女 |
[01:49] | Why are you back from your date so early? | 为什么这么早就结束约会回来了 |
[01:52] | In romance, as in show business, | 谈恋爱 就要跟在娱乐业一样 |
[01:54] | always leave them wanting more. | 总是要让观众欲求不满 |
[01:58] | What exactly does that mean? | 这到底是什么意思 |
[02:01] | He struck out. | 他被三振出局了 |
[02:28] | Hey, did either of you guys know | 你们两个知道 |
[02:30] | that three dates with the same woman | 与同一个女人约会三次 |
[02:32] | is the threshold for sex? | 就可以上床的临界点? |
[02:34] | Actually, I’ve never had three dates with the same woman. | 事实上 我从未与同一女人约会三次 |
[02:38] | With Penny and me, it took two years. | 而我和佩妮花了两年 |
[02:40] | Now that I think about it, that was three dates. | 现在认真回想一下 的确是三次约会 |
[02:44] | Okay, well, before you and Penny hooked up, | 好吧 那在你和佩妮搞上之前 |
[02:47] | Did she ask for any kind of commitment? | 她有没有要求什么承诺 |
[02:50] | No, she was pretty clear about | 没 她倒是非常清楚地表示 |
[02:52] | wanting to keep her options open. | 要有保持随时换人的权力 |
[02:55] | I have something to announce, | 我有东西要宣布一下 |
[02:57] | but out of respect for convention, I will wait for you | 但是出于惯例 我会等你们 |
[02:59] | to finish your current conversation. | 说完现在的话题 |
[03:01] | What are you talking about? | 你们在聊什么呢 |
[03:03] | The cultural paradigm in which people have sex | 一种文化模式 |
[03:05] | after three dates. | 就是人们会在三次约会后做爱 |
[03:06] | I see. | 原来如此 |
[03:08] | Now, are we talking “date,” the social interaction, | 现在我们是说的”date”是指社交活动 |
[03:10] | or “date,” the dried fruit? | 还是指干枣 |
[03:14] | Never mind, what’s your announcement? | 算了 你要宣布什么 |
[03:17] | Oh, good, my turn. Well, this is very exciting | 很好 轮到我了 这令人非常兴奋 |
[03:20] | and I wanted you to be among the first to know… | 并且我想让你们最先知道 |
[03:22] | Hey, Cooper. | 嗨 库珀 |
[03:23] | I hear you’re going to be on the radio | 我听说你下周要和《科学星期五》的 |
[03:24] | with Ira Flatow from Science Friday next week. | 艾拉·弗雷托上广播节目 |
[03:26] | Thank you, Kripke, for depriving me of the opportunity | 谢谢 克瑞普克 剥夺了我跟我的朋友 |
[03:29] | to share my news with my friends. | 分享这则新闻的机会 |
[03:32] | My pleasure. | 很荣幸 |
[03:34] | My “thank you” was not sincere. | 我的”谢谢”可不是诚恳的 |
[03:35] | But “my pleasure” is. | 但我的”很荣幸”是的 |
[03:38] | Let me ask you a question: | 让我问你个问题 |
[03:40] | At what point did National Public Radio | 什么时候国家公共广播 |
[03:43] | have to start scraping the bottom of the barrel | 不得不邀请一些废材 |
[03:45] | for its guests? | 作为嘉宾呢 |
[03:46] | Don’t answer. It’s rhetorical. | 别回答 这是个比喻 |
[03:49] | Why are you such a stupid head? | 为什么你是个笨蛋 |
[03:53] | That is also rhetorical. | 这也是个比喻 |
[03:57] | I’m sorry you had to hear that. | 真抱歉你们不得不听到这些 |
[03:59] | Are you really going to be on NPR? | 你真的要上国家公共广播吗 |
[04:01] | Yes, they’re interviewing me by phone from my office, | 没错 他们通过我办公室的电话采访我 |
[04:04] | regarding the recent so-called “discovery” | 问一些最近所谓的”发现” |
[04:06] | of magnetic monopoles in spin-ices. | 关于自旋冰中的磁单极子 |
[04:08] | It’s pledge week and they’re trying to goose the ratings | 因为是誓言周 他们想通过一些辩论 |
[04:11] | with a little controversy. | 来提高收听率 |
[04:14] | Very cool, congratulations. | 真酷 恭喜你 |
[04:15] | Thank you. My mother is very excited. | 谢谢 我妈妈也非常兴奋 |
[04:18] | She’s convening her Bible study group to listen in, | 她召集了她的圣经学习小组来收听 |
[04:21] | and then pray for my soul. | 然后为我的灵魂祈祷 |
[04:24] | I was on the radio once. | 我曾经上过一次电台 |
[04:25] | I called in to Fever 104 FM New Delhi | 我打进了新德里的狂热FM104的热线 |
[04:28] | and was the fourth person to say the phrase that pays: | 成为了第四个说一句话就能拿钱的人 |
[04:30] | “Fever 104, aajke naye acchha sangeetka ghar.” | “狂热104 aajke naye acchha sangeetka ghar.” |
[04:35] | That means: “Fever 104, | 意思是 “狂热104 |
[04:38] | home of the really good current music.” | 超棒流行音乐之家 |
[04:43] | It’s much catchier in Hindi. | 还是在印度语里说更拉风 |
[04:47] | All right. These are the talking points | 好的 这些是明天上国家公共广播 |
[04:51] | for my NPR interview tomorrow. | 访谈的讲点 |
[04:53] | I need to make sure that they’re simple enough | 我必须确定它们对于那些 |
[04:55] | for the less educated in the audience to understand. | 教育程度较低的听众来说也足够简单易懂 |
[04:59] | Howard, look this over and tell me what’s unclear to you. | 霍华德 看一遍然后告诉我你哪里不懂 |
[05:02] | Excuse me, I have a master’s degree in engineering | 劳驾 我有麻省理工大学的 |
[05:05] | from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. | 工程硕士学位证书 |
[05:07] | It required the completion of 144 units of grad work | 要求修完144个学分 |
[05:10] | and an original thesis. | 和一篇原创论文 |
[05:11] | Yes. | 没错 |
[05:14] | Look this over and tell me what’s unclear to you. | 看完告诉我有哪些不清楚的 |
[05:18] | You know, when Sheldon gives you homework, | 谢尔顿让你做事 |
[05:20] | you don’t have to do it. | 你可以拒绝 |
[05:22] | In fact, it’s better if you don’t, | 其实你拒绝更好 |
[05:23] | otherwise it makes the rest of us look bad. | 不然搞得我们几个很尴尬 |
[05:27] | – Hi, guys. – Hey. Hello. | -各位好 -你好 |
[05:29] | Yo, Raj, talk to me. | 拉杰 跟我说话 |
[05:39] | I’m sorry, just screwing with you. | 抱歉 耍你而已 |
[05:44] | Hey, Howard, why haven’t you called Bernadette? | 霍华德 你干嘛不打电话给伯纳黛特 |
[05:46] | Did she say something? | 她说什么了吗 |
[05:48] | Yeah, she said she hasn’t heard from you in a week. | 她说你一个星期没跟她联系了 |
[05:49] | I thought you liked her? | 我以为你喜欢她呢 |
[05:51] | I do, but she wants a commitment | 是喜欢 但她要我给个承诺 |
[05:53] | and I’m not sure she’s my type. | 我又不确定她是不是我喜欢的类型 |
[05:55] | She agreed to go out with you for free. | 她都愿意免费跟你约会 |
[05:57] | What more do you need? | 你还想怎么样 |
[05:59] | Look, Bernadette is really nice. | 伯纳黛特是很好 |
[06:01] | I just always thought when I finally settle down | 我只是一直觉得 当我想认真的对待感情时 |
[06:03] | into a relationship, it would be with someone, | 对方应该是一个 |
[06:05] | you know, different. | 你知道 一个特别的人 |
[06:07] | Different how? | 怎么特别 |
[06:09] | Well, you know, more like Megan Fox from Transformers. | 更像《变形金刚》里的梅根·福克斯啦 |
[06:14] | Or Katee Sackhoff | 或者《太空堡垒卡拉狄加》里的 |
[06:15] | from Battlestar Galactica. | 凯蒂·萨克霍夫啦 |
[06:17] | Are you high? | 你嗑药啦 |
[06:20] | You’d have a better shot with the three-breasted | 你跟《宇宙威龙》里有三个咪咪的 |
[06:22] | Martian hooker from Total Recall. | 火星妓女在一起的可能性更大点 |
[06:26] | Okay, now you’re just being unrealistic. | 你说的太不实际了 |
[06:29] | Anyway, that movie was like 20 years ago. | 那部电影都差不多20年了 |
[06:31] | Imagine how saggy those thing would be. | 想想那些咪咪该下垂成什么样了 |
[06:37] | Howard, you’re going to throw away a great girl like Bernadette | 霍华德 你想守着你的荒诞幻想不放 |
[06:40] | because you’re holding out for some ridiculous fantasy? | 而放过像伯纳黛特这么好的女生吗 |
[06:43] | Hey, just because you settled doesn’t mean I have to. | 你的感情定下来了不代表我也要这样吧 |
[06:48] | Excuse me, I’m sitting here. | 喂 我在这坐着呢 |
[06:51] | Hey, I did not settle for Leonard. | 我又没有和莱纳德定下来 |
[06:54] | I mean, obviously, he isn’t the kind of guy I usually go out with… | 他显然不像我通常约会的类型 |
[06:58] | you know, physically. | 体格上不像 |
[07:00] | Again, I’m right here. | 再说一次 我在呢 |
[07:03] | My point is, I do not judge a book by its cover. | 我的意思是 我不会以封面断定书的好坏 |
[07:06] | I am interested in the person underneath. | 我更在意人的内心 |
[07:07] | I am here, right? You see me. | 我在这吧 你看得见我 |
[07:15] | Hey, I’m interested in what’s inside people, too, | 我也在意人的内心啊 |
[07:19] | but why is it wrong to want those insides wrapped up in, | 但是希望内心外面包装点像 |
[07:22] | say, the delicious caramel that is Halle Berry? | 哈莉·贝瑞(肤色黑)的巧克力不对吗 |
[07:27] | Yes, you’re delicious caramel, too. | 对 你也是巧克力装 |
[07:36] | All right, you know what, I will tell you | 行 我告诉为什么不对 |
[07:37] | why it’s wrong… Excuse me, may I interject? | 抱歉 我能插下话吗 |
[07:39] | What? | 干嘛 |
[07:40] | Biologically speaking, | 从生物学角度上说 |
[07:41] | Howard is perfectly justified in seeking out the optimum mate | 霍华德想找最佳伴侣繁殖后代 |
[07:44] | for the propagation of his genetic line. | 完全合情合理 |
[07:47] | – Thank you, Sheldon. – Now, whether that | -谢谢 谢尔顿 -不过 |
[07:49] | propagation is in the interest of humanity is, of course, | 但这种繁殖如果站在人类进化的角度来看 |
[07:51] | an entirely different question. | 又是完全不同的问题 |
[07:55] | This is Ira Flatow and you’re listening | 我是艾拉·弗莱托 |
[07:58] | to NPR’s Science Friday. | 您正在收听的是公共广播电台的周五科学 |
[08:01] | Joining us today by phone | 今晚跟我们电话连线的是 |
[08:02] | from his office in Pasadena, California | 在加州帕萨迪纳办公室里的 |
[08:05] | is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. | 谢尔顿·库珀博士 |
[08:07] | Oh, this is going to be a riot. | 这个肯定很好玩 |
[08:12] | Thanks for being with us today, Dr. Cooper. | 欢迎参加我们的节目 库珀博士 |
[08:14] | My pleasure, Ira. | 我很荣幸 艾拉 |
[08:17] | Now, let’s talk about magnetic monopoles. | 我们讨论一下磁单极子吧 |
[08:20] | Can you explain to our audience just what a monopole is? | 你能给听众解释一下什么是磁单极子吗 |
[08:24] | Of course. | 当然可以 |
[08:25] | First, consider an ordinary magnet which has, | 首先 一块普通的磁铁 |
[08:29] | as even the most uneducated | 即使教育程度再低的听众 |
[08:31] | in your audience must know, two poles. | 都应该知道 有两个磁极 |
[08:36] | A north and south pole. | 南极和北极 |
[08:39] | If you cut that in half, you have two smaller magnets, | 把磁铁切成两半 则变成较小的两块磁铁 |
[08:42] | each with its own north and south pole. | 每块都有南北两极 |
[08:45] | Uh, Dr. Cooper, I think there might be | 库珀博士 我们的连线 |
[08:48] | something wrong with our connection. | 可能出了点问题 |
[08:49] | No, I hear you fine. | 不 我听得很清楚 |
[08:53] | As I was saying, an ordinary magnet has two poles. | 正如我刚刚说的 普通磁铁有两个磁极 |
[08:57] | The primary characteristic of a monopole | 磁单极子的主要特征是 |
[09:00] | is that it has only one pole, hence, monopole. | 它只有一个磁极 因此称为磁单极子 |
[09:05] | A requirement for string theory, | 弦理论 或者说M理论 |
[09:07] | or M-theory, if you will, | 的一个必要条件 |
[09:09] | is the existence of such monopoles. | 是存在磁单极子 |
[09:11] | I, myself, led an expedition | 我本人曾带领一个考察队 |
[09:14] | to the Arctic Circle in search of said particles. | 前往北极圈探寻这种粒子 |
[09:16] | Kripke, I found the nozzle! I’m going to kill you! | 克瑞普克 我看到喷嘴了 你死定了 |
[09:26] | So nice you could join me this evening. | 真高兴你今晚能和我共浴 |
[09:28] | You’re looking lovely as always. | 你跟往常一样漂亮 |
[09:32] | Thanks, Howard. | 过奖 霍华德 |
[09:33] | Always nice to be part of your masturbatory fantasies. | 一向乐意加入你的手淫幻想 |
[09:38] | Come on, Katee. | 别这样嘛 凯蒂 |
[09:39] | Don’t make it sound so cheap. | 何必说得这么低俗呢 |
[09:41] | I’m sorry, fiddling with yourself in the bathtub | 抱歉 在浴缸里自欺欺人 |
[09:43] | is a real class act. | 确实是出类拔萃的行为 |
[09:47] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[09:49] | So, shall we get started? | 我们可以开始了吗 |
[09:53] | Sure. | 当然 |
[09:55] | But can I ask you a question first? | 但我能先问你个问题吗 |
[09:57] | Do you want to play Cylon and colonist? | 你想扮演赛昂人和殖民者吗 |
[09:59] | No. | 不 |
[10:00] | I want to know why you’re playing make-believe with me | 我很奇怪 你明明可以和真人约会 |
[10:02] | when you could be out with a real woman tonight. | 却在这里和我玩性幻想游戏 |
[10:04] | You mean, Bernadette? | 你是指伯纳黛特吗 |
[10:06] | No, I mean Princess Leia. | 不 我是指莱娅公主(星战人物 路克·天行者的双胞胎妹妹) |
[10:08] | Of course I mean Bernadette. | 我当然指的是伯纳黛特 |
[10:10] | She’s a wonderful girl and she really likes you. | 她是个很好的女孩儿 真的喜欢你 |
[10:13] | I know, but she’s not you. | 我知道 但她不是你 |
[10:16] | I’m not me. | 我又不是真实的 |
[10:19] | The real me is in Beverly Hills | 真正的我现正在比弗利山庄 |
[10:20] | Going out with a tall, handsome, rich guy. | 和某个英俊高大的有钱人约会呢 |
[10:22] | Really? Tall? | 真的吗 很高大吗 |
[10:23] | – Six-four. – Ouch. | -一米九三呢 -哇哦 |
[10:26] | The point is, you’ve got a wonderful girl in your life, | 问题在于 你遇到了一个好女孩 |
[10:29] | And you’re ignoring her in order to spend your nights | 但却宁愿整晚在浴缸里对着虚拟影像 |
[10:31] | in the bathtub with a mental image and a wash cloth. | 和浴巾性幻想 也不去理她 |
[10:36] | Howard! | 霍华德 |
[10:38] | What are you doing in there? | 你到底在里面干嘛 |
[10:40] | I’m taking a bath! | 我在洗澡 |
[10:42] | I hope that’s all you’re doing! | 你可别做啥其他猥琐的事 |
[10:44] | We share that tub! | 那浴缸我也要用 |
[10:49] | Don’t remind me! | 别提醒我 |
[10:53] | Oh, man. | 老天 |
[10:55] | All soaped up and no place to go. | 都是泡泡 没有我子孙的容身之地了 |
[11:07] | How ya doin’, buddy? | 哥们儿 你还好吧 |
[11:08] | I was humiliated on national radio. | 我在国家电台上被当众羞辱 |
[11:11] | How do you think I’m doing? | 能好受才怪 |
[11:12] | Come on, it wasn’t that bad. | 拜托 没这么夸张吧 |
[11:13] | What do you want? | 你们来干嘛 |
[11:15] | (munchkin voice): We represent the Lollipop Guild, | (绿野仙踪中的麦琪肯人欢迎多萝西) |
[11:17] | and we want you. | 我们是棒棒糖团队 欢迎你的到来 |
[11:24] | Okay, so Kripke played a joke on you. | 好啊 克瑞普克捉弄了你一下 |
[11:27] | It wasn’t funny. | 不好笑 |
[11:29] | – I thought it was funny. – Raj. | -我觉得很好笑 -拉杰 |
[11:31] | You laughed. | 你也笑了啊 |
[11:33] | Did you laugh? | 你笑了吗 |
[11:36] | I fell on the floor. | 我笑得滚到地板上了 |
[11:40] | All right, he got you. | 好吧 这次是他赢了 |
[11:41] | You can get him back. | 你可以以牙还牙嘛 |
[11:43] | I refuse to sink to his level. | 我才不要堕落到他那种水准 |
[11:45] | You can’t sink. With all that helium in you, | 你落不了 体内充满了氦气 |
[11:47] | you’re lucky you don’t float away. | 遇水不飘走就算你走运啦 |
[11:52] | Are you really admitting defeat? | 你当真认栽了吗 |
[11:54] | I never admit defeat. | 我从不认栽 |
[11:56] | Good. | 很好 |
[11:57] | However, on an unrelated topic, | 但是 从另一个方面讲 |
[11:58] | I am never getting out of this bed again. | 我再也抬不起头做人了 |
[12:01] | What if you could make Kripke | 那何不这样 你设法捉弄克瑞普克 |
[12:03] | look even sillier than he made you look? | 让他看起来比你更蠢 |
[12:05] | I don’t think that’s possible, dude. | 我觉得这不可能 老兄 |
[12:06] | You’re not helping. | 你尽说些丧气话 |
[12:08] | I didn’t come to help, I came to mock. | 我本就不是来说好话 我是来吐糟的 |
[12:12] | Sheldon, what you need to do is figure out a way | 谢尔顿 你现在得好好想想 |
[12:14] | to exact vengeance on Kripke, like, uh, | 到底怎么报复克瑞普克 |
[12:17] | like, how the Joker got back at Batman for putting him | 好比蝙蝠侠把疯子罪犯小丑扔进了 |
[12:21] | in the Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane. | 亚克汗疯人院 事后他不是越狱了吗 |
[12:24] | That’s true. He didn’t just stay there and talk about | 是啊 他不光是待在里面对其他 |
[12:25] | His feelings with the other psychotic villains. | 精神病恶棍大吐苦水 |
[12:27] | He, he broke out and poisoned Gotham’s water supply. | 还越狱了 还对哥谭市的供水系统投毒 |
[12:32] | Well… | 好吧 |
[12:34] | – I suppose I could poison Kripke. – No! | -那我该给克瑞普克下毒 -不 |
[12:36] | No. It’s a simple matter. | 不 这其实很简单 |
[12:38] | There are several toxic chemicals | 有那么几种有毒化学物 |
[12:39] | that’d be untraceable in an autopsy. | 尸检是查不出来的 |
[12:43] | Okay, uh, that’s the spirit, | 你抓到了要领 |
[12:46] | but, um, let’s dial it back | 但手段可以温柔点 |
[12:48] | to a non-lethal form of vengeance. | 不要置人于死地 |
[12:54] | How about we whoopee cushion on his office chair? | 这样 在他的办公室椅子上弄个放屁垫 |
[12:58] | He’ll sit down, it’ll sound like | 他一坐下 听起来就像是有胃气胀 |
[12:59] | he’s flatulent, even though he’s not. | 尽管他不是真有胃气胀 |
[13:03] | Let’s keep thinking. | 还是再想想吧 |
[13:09] | Oh, gee, you’re too late. | 老兄 你可来晚了 |
[13:11] | Scarlett Johansson and Wonder Woman were just in here | 斯嘉丽·乔纳森和神奇女侠 |
[13:14] | trolling around for neurotic, little weasels. | 刚在这里轮番歌颂神经质和胆小鬼呢 |
[13:16] | I came to talk to Bernadette. She’s working today, right? | 我来找伯纳黛特 她今天上班吗 |
[13:19] | Yes, but I don’t think she wants to see you. | 是啊 但我觉得她不想见你 |
[13:22] | Why not? | 为啥 |
[13:23] | Come on, Howard. You hurt her feelings | 得了 霍华德 你伤害了她 |
[13:25] | by not calling her all week. | 一个星期都不给人家电话 |
[13:26] | Plus, I’ve kind of been talkin’ some smack about ya. | 加上我还说了你不少坏话 |
[13:30] | Hello, Howard. | 好啊 霍华德 |
[13:31] | Wait, Bernadette, I need to talk to you. | 等下 伯纳黛特 我有话对你说 |
[13:34] | I can’t now, I’m working. | 现在不成 我在工作呢 |
[13:35] | This will only take a second. | 就一会儿 |
[13:36] | You asked me to think about where | 你之前让我好好考虑 |
[13:38] | our relationship was going, and I did. | 我们之间的关系 好吧我想过了 |
[13:42] | Bernadette? | 伯纳黛特 |
[13:48] | Will you marry me? | 你愿意嫁给我吗 |
[13:52] | Is this more comedy that I don’t understand? | 我不明白 这算是玩笑吗 |
[13:55] | No. I’m serious. | 不 我是认真的 |
[13:58] | I’m never going to find another girl like you | 你是我生命中的唯一 |
[14:01] | who likes me and is, you know, real. | 重要的是 你是真心喜欢我 |
[14:07] | So, this isn’t a joke? | 这不是开玩笑吗 |
[14:08] | – No. – Then you’re insane. | -不是 -那你铁定疯了 |
[14:12] | I prefer to think of myself as quirky. | 我觉得自己这是突施奇招 |
[14:15] | Howard, we’ve only been on three dates. | 霍华德 我们只约会了三次 |
[14:18] | We haven’t even had sex yet. | 甚至还没上过床 |
[14:20] | Fair enough. | 你说得对 |
[14:21] | When’s your break? | 你什么时候下班 |
[14:28] | Don’t you just hate when this happens? | 好事将成 你们嫉妒我了不是 |
[14:36] | All right, how’s this for revenge? | 好了 用这个来复仇如何 |
[14:40] | A solution of hydrogen peroxide, | 一剂过氧化氢[双氧水] |
[14:43] | and one of saturated potassium iodide. | 加上一剂饱和碘化钾 |
[14:47] | What’s this? | 这又是什么 |
[14:48] | Mountain Dew. | 山露汽水[碳酸饮料] |
[14:52] | Ahh, refreshing. | 啊 真是提神醒脑 |
[14:54] | We’re going to combine these chemicals with ordinary dish soap, | 然后将这两样化学制剂 与普通洗碗剂结合 |
[14:58] | creating a little exothermic release of oxygen. | 就会放热 释放出氧 |
[15:14] | Foamy vengeance. | 泡沫复仇记 |
[15:15] | Yes, exactly. | 完全正确 |
[15:16] | This is brilliant, Sheldon. | 谢尔顿 这招实在是高 |
[15:18] | How are we going to deploy it in Kripke’s office? | 但你怎么布置到克瑞普克的办公室 |
[15:20] | Already taken care of. | 早就布置好了 |
[15:22] | Observe. | 注意看 |
[15:25] | This is a live shot of Kripke’s lab via a mini webcam | 通过迷你摄像头拍摄到的克瑞普克实验室实况 |
[15:28] | I was able to install, thanks to a dollar bill | 拜我偷塞到看门人衬衫口袋里的美钞所赐 |
[15:31] | discreetly placed in the night janitor’s shirt pocket. | 我才能装了这个迷你摄像头 |
[15:33] | At the same time, | 与此同时 |
[15:35] | I also secured large quantities of these chemicals | 还将大量这样的化学制剂 |
[15:37] | above the tiles in the drop ceiling. | 放到了他的天花板顶上 |
[15:40] | Oh, Sheldon, | 哦 谢尔顿 |
[15:42] | you remind me of a young Lex Luthor. | 你让我想起年轻时的莱克斯·卢瑟[后成为超人的死敌] |
[15:46] | You flatter me, sir. | 您太过奖了 先生 |
[15:49] | – Let me guess: motion sensors? – Yes. | -我猜猜 带运动感应器的 -是的 |
[15:51] | The reaction will be triggered | 一旦克瑞普克走到屋子中间 |
[15:53] | when Kripke reaches the center of the room. | 感应器就会触发 |
[15:55] | Mwah, ha, ha. | 木哈哈 |
[16:00] | I gotta say, I am really impressed. | 我不得不承认 我很佩服你 |
[16:02] | This is truly the Sheldon Cooper way to get even. | 这绝对是谢尔顿式的复仇方式 |
[16:11] | It may be low-tech, | 这招或许技术含量不高 |
[16:13] | but I still maintain the whoopee cushion has comic validity. | 但我还是坚持认为 放屁坐垫自有其喜剧效应 |
[16:17] | Here comes Kripke! | 克瑞普克来了 |
[16:19] | Who is that with him? | 跟他一起的是谁 |
[16:20] | I believe that’s the president of the university. | 我想那是我们大学的校长 |
[16:23] | And the board of directors.Abort! Abort! | 还有理事会成员 快中止 中止 |
[16:25] | There is no “abort.” | 没有中止程序 |
[16:26] | How could you not put in an “abort?” | 你怎么能不设中止程序 |
[16:28] | I made a boo-boo, all right? | 我疏忽了 好了吧 |
[16:30] | I think the board will really appreciate | 塞伯特校长 相信理事会将很欣慰地看到 |
[16:32] | how well we’re using that NSA grant, President Seibert. | 我们将国安局的拨款运用得如此之好 |
[16:35] | Right here we have a micro-controlled plasma… | 这里是我们的微电脑控制的等离子… |
[16:45] | Wow. Looks like the Ganges on laundry day. | 看上去就像洗衣日那天的恒河 |
[16:50] | At least they don’t know it was you. | 至少他们不知道是你干的 |
[16:54] | Hello, Kripke. | 你好 克瑞普克 |
[16:55] | This classic prank comes to you | 你此刻遭遇的经典恶作剧 |
[16:58] | from the malevolent mind of Sheldon Cooper. | 来自恶意复仇的谢尔顿·库珀 |
[17:02] | If you’d like to see the look on your stupid face, | 如果你想看看自己那张蠢蛋脸 |
[17:05] | this video is being instantly uploaded to YouTube. | 这段视频即刻就会上传到YouTube |
[17:09] | Oh, and a hat tip to Leonard Hofstadter and Raj Koothrappali | 并感谢莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德和拉杰·库萨帕里 |
[17:12] | for their support and encouragement in this enterprise. | 感谢他们在复仇大业中对我的支持与鼓励 |
[17:20] | Well, I’m going back to India.What’s your plan? | 我计划逃回印度去 你呢 |
[17:28] | Hey, here’s your tip from table seven. | 给 7号桌给的小费 |
[17:30] | Oh, thanks. | 谢谢 |
[17:31] | Testing. Check.Check two. | 麦克风测试 再次测试 |
[17:35] | Oh, now what? | 这回又怎么了 |
[17:36] | You want me to throw him out? | 想让我扔他出去吗 |
[17:38] | No, that’s okay. | 不用 没事的 |
[17:39] | Are you sure? He’s small. | 你确定 他个子那么小 |
[17:42] | I bet I can get a nice, tight spiral on him. | 我打赌我肯定能给他来个漂亮的背摔 |
[17:46] | I want to dedicate this number | 这一曲 我想献给 |
[17:48] | to a great gal who I’ve done wrong. | 一位被我伤害了的好姑娘 |
[17:52] | Bernadette | 伯纳黛特[曲调来自The Four Tops乐队的《Bernadette》] |
[17:56] | * I am so sorry for | 我感到非常抱歉 |
[17:59] | * Trying to propose to you | 因我向你求婚之事 |
[18:01] | * Bernadette | 伯纳黛特 |
[18:03] | * You found it creepy | 你觉得我行事疯狂 |
[18:06] | * But that’s just the kind of thing I do * | 但那就是我的风格 |
[18:12] | * I know now it was too soon to talk of love * | 我知道现在说爱还太早 |
[18:16] | * It was just a crazy idea that came to me in my tub * | 那只是我泡澡时突发的奇想 |
[18:20] | * But, Bernadette, give me one more chance * | 但伯纳黛特 请再给我一次机会 |
[18:23] | * Sweet Bernadette | 亲爱的伯纳黛特 |
[18:24] | * I’ll get the hang of this thing * | 我保证很快找到窍门 |
[18:26] | * They call romance, Sweet Bernadette * | 找到浪漫的窍门 亲爱的伯纳黛特 |
[18:28] | * I dream to once again | 我梦想着能够再一次 |
[18:30] | * Kiss your lips, Sweet Bernadette * | 吻上你的双唇 亲爱的伯纳黛特 |
[18:33] | * Sincerely yours | 您的裙下之臣 |
[18:35] | * Howard Wolowitz | 霍华德·沃罗威茨 |
[18:37] | * Bernadette… | 伯纳黛特 |
[18:38] | – Oh, I am so sorry. – Are you kidding? | -实在听不下去了 -你开什么玩笑 |
[18:42] | That’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for me. | 那是别人为我所做的 最浪漫的事 |
[18:47] | * Bernadette! Thank you, Cheesecake Factory! | 伯纳黛特 谢谢芝士蛋糕工厂 |