| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [02:27] | – Hey. – What the hell are you doing? | |
| [02:32] | I was hungry. Taste. | |
| [02:45] | – Carbonara. – You don’t have to tell me. | |
| [02:51] | So good. | |
| [03:14] | So… | |
| [03:19] | Can we talk about the man that was in your bed? | |
| [03:24] | Mom, what is the big deal? Jason sleeps over all the time. | |
| [03:28] | Not the same. This kid was old. | |
| [03:31] | Don’t treat me like a baby. You can’t stop me from having agency over myself. | |
| [03:36] | I know you think I’m an idiot, but I swear to you | |
| [03:40] | that I know more about boys and men than you do right now. | |
| [03:43] | Says the woman who hasn’t had a single successful relationship | |
| [03:45] | during my entire lifetime. | |
| [03:48] | I’m okay with that. | |
| [03:51] | Mom, I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m trying to help you. | |
| [03:53] | So can we please talk about the Hinge profile that I made you? | |
| [03:58] | We need to have the talk, okay? | |
| [04:05] | A discussion about this, about the boy in your bed. | |
| [04:11] | It doesn’t have to be today, but | |
| [04:15] | we’re gonna have a talk. | |
| [04:16] | You and I need to have a discussion, okay? | |
| [04:23] | – Okay. | – Okay. |
| [04:28] | Mom, in a few years, my sisters and I will all have moved out, | |
| [04:32] | and you’ll just be dating Gran. | |
| [04:34] | So we need to find you a man who’s responsible enough to take care of you | |
| [04:37] | if you break a hip or something | |
| [04:40] | but still immature enough with you to play pranks. | |
| [04:44] | God, just make sure he has a job and nice teeth. | |
| [04:52] | Got me. | |
| [05:08] | When we’re married, I want you to make this for me once a week. | |
| [05:12] | I’m never getting married again. I don’t believe in marriage. | |
| [05:17] | Neither do I. | |
| [05:24] | – Jesus. – Lock the doors, shelter in place. | |
| [05:27] | Oh, my God! Man! | |
| [05:29] | I called the police about the helicopters. | |
| [05:30] | There’s a robbery suspect running around the hills. | |
| [05:33] | – You gave me a heart attack, Phil. – Oh, how lovely. | |
| [05:37] | Is this a late night bite, or an early morning biadh-maidne? | |
| [05:40] | Her nibs made it. I want to put some of this chili… Can you do this? | |
| [05:45] | – I’m so sorry you’ve got that. – It’s fine. | |
| [05:47] | My mother had bad hands, too. | |
| [05:50] | Blame her. And me, I suppose. | |
| [05:52] | If I ever get the impulse to strike up conversation | |
| [05:55] | with complete strangers everywhere I go, | |
| [05:57] | I will 100% hold it against you, Sam. | |
| [05:59] | Great. Now I have something else to be anxious about. | |
| [06:04] | Mom. | |
| [06:06] | Aside from now… do you ever get anxiety? | |
| [06:10] | What’s the point of that? | |
| [06:12] | That must come from the Jewish side of your family. | |
| [06:15] | Anxiety? Useless emotion. | |
| [06:17] | It’s a good thing we took that DNA test, | |
| [06:19] | because sometimes I really doubt we’re related. | |
| [06:23] | Oh, we most certainly are. | |
| [06:28] | After your brother ripped me wide open with his ridiculously large head, | |
| [06:33] | I simply refused to have an episiotomy with you. | |
| [06:36] | Well, good thing I probably slipped right out because | |
| [06:39] | tiny, and you being all primed and all. | |
| [06:42] | Oh, no. They had to break your collar bone to get you out. | |
| [06:45] | You screamed bloody murder. | |
| [06:48] | If you think about it, Sam, it was either your collar bone or her vagina. | |
| [06:52] | Kind of like Sophie’s Choice but with body parts. | |
| [06:55] | Jesus! | |
| [06:59] | INSTAGRAN | |
| [07:01] | I just want to say, if you take any nudes of yourself, | |
| [07:05] | they will last forever on the interwebs, so best not to take them. | |
| [07:10] | And it becomes everyone else’s property. | |
| [07:12] | Although, I had an extremely beautiful body when I was young, | |
| [07:16] | so it doesn’t matter much to me. And see here, I don’t have dowager’s hump. | |
| [07:20] | My sister has one, and you’re getting one. See there? | |
| [07:25] | – Jesus, I am? – Well, sit up straight, I’ve told you. | |
| [07:28] | God, I feel it. | |
| [07:33] | Okay, back on track. | |
| [07:36] | – Phil. – What? | |
| [07:37] | What if your brain starts becoming like sand through a sifter, | |
| [07:40] | and I don’t know enough things? | |
| [07:42] | – Like what? – Like anything. | |
| [07:45] | Like, do you have something hidden anywhere? | |
| [07:47] | Did you ever keep a journal? Any kind of secrets that you need to tell me? | |
| [07:52] | Anything practical. | |
| [07:53] | Well, Frankie and Duke have my pin numbers, my cash, my passwords, | |
| [07:58] | they key to my safe deposit box. | |
| [08:00] | What? They do? | |
| [08:02] | And if my brain becomes like sand through a sifter, | |
| [08:06] | then take me out the back, shoot me straight away, burn me, | |
| [08:09] | and then sprinkle my ashes across the seven corners of the seven seas. | |
| [08:13] | That sounds easy. | |
| [08:15] | Also, your father might not be your father. | |
| [08:18] | But we’ll know that from the DNA test, won’t we? | |
| [08:22] | Cut. | |
| [08:31] | It’s special here, isn’t it? None of those mall sheep. | |
| [08:35] | And, of course, we’ve always got good product | |
| [08:37] | ’cause the Jews give back to themselves. | |
| [08:40] | Of course, it’s high-end stuff. | |
| [08:42] | I just come here on Tuesday and Thursdays | |
| [08:45] | to give my son’s wife a break from me. | |
| [08:49] | There’s that man again. | |
| [08:52] | – Better watch him. – I’ll handle it. | |
| [08:57] | How might I be able to help you? | |
| [08:59] | You should get rid of every movie made recently. They’re all garbage. | |
| [09:03] | Well, you’re entitled to your opinion. It’s a free country. | |
| [09:07] | Arguable. These say a buck apiece. | |
| [09:12] | I’m not paying more than 50 cents for anything made after 1979, | |
| [09:16] | ’cause they’re all crap. | |
| [09:17] | The prices are as marked, but if your budget won’t stretch, | |
| [09:21] | I’d be happy to cover the difference, because | |
| [09:24] | I happen to have a very famous, extremely wealthy daughter | |
| [09:29] | who takes care of me. | |
| [09:31] | Who’s your daughter? | |
| [09:34] | Cate Blanchett. | |
| [09:38] | All right, let me give you a card. | |
| [09:43] | – Take a couple. – Thank you. | |
| [09:46] | – “Morty Mandelbaum.” – Morty. | |
| [09:48] | – Morty. Sorry. – Yeah. Yeah, I’m SAG. | |
| [09:51] | Oh, interesting. I’ll give this to my daughter. If I don’t use it myself… | |
| [10:02] | See this? | |
| [10:05] | They cut me out of it. | |
| [10:16] | Okay, everyone, ten minutes till closing. | |
| [10:28] | Excuse me. | |
| [10:30] | Ah, I see you found lots of bargains. | |
| [10:33] | Well, I like to put my money where my mouth is. | |
| [10:41] | Oh, well, I don’t remember these being half off. | |
| [10:47] | This is Prada! This is definitely not half price. | |
| [10:51] | Oh, really? I don’t know how that happened. | |
| [10:55] | Sorry, mis-marked, I hadn’t realized. | |
| [11:01] | My fault. | |
| [11:15] | Look. How charming. | |
| [12:06] | – I love you, Duke. – Mom! | |
| [12:10] | Sorry. Cute! | |
| [12:12] | – Bye, now. – Okay. Bye. I’m Duke’s mom. | |
| [12:18] | You’re gonna close the thing. | |
| [12:21] | She’s one of those. | |
| [12:26] | We will start with our pliés. Two demi, one grand, all positions. | |
| [12:33] | And… plié. | |
| [12:38] | And plié. | |
| [12:41] | And five, six, seven, eight. | |
| [12:46] | Long neck. Small head. | |
| [12:49] | That’s good for a ballerina. | |
| [12:57] | And you are going to need to add swimming and Pilates to dance class. | |
| [13:11] | What happened to your leg? | |
| [13:13] | Soccer. | |
| [13:15] | Soccer places extreme rotational stress on your knees, | |
| [13:18] | as well as your ligaments, so you’re going to have to choose. | |
| [13:23] | Ballet or soccer. | |
| [13:56] | Hi. | |
| [14:05] | Oh, wow. | |
| [14:12] | That’s really good. | |
| [14:21] | What? | |
| [14:23] | It’s a simple question. Have you gotten your period yet, yes or no? | |
| [14:28] | Yes. | |
| [14:30] | That means you won’t grow much more. | |
| [14:49] | Please tell me you hated it. | |
| [14:51] | – No. I want to stay in class. – What? | |
| [14:56] | – Serious? – And I’m quitting soccer. | |
| [15:33] | Hi. | |
| [15:39] | – Hi. | – Hi. |
| [15:41] | – Hi. | – Hi. |
| [15:44] | – Hi. – Hi, so… | |
| [15:47] | So I got you an appointment at the gynecologist. | |
| [15:53] | It’s really, like, a nurse practitioner there, but they’re really… cool. | |
| [15:56] | – Mom. Oh, God. – What? | |
| [16:00] | Oh, God. I’m not even close to be doing that. | |
| [16:04] | I don’t even want to be doing that. | |
| [16:06] | Okay, well, so I made you an appointment on Friday. | |
| [16:11] | Fine. Can you please just… | |
| [16:13] | – Fine. – God! | |
| [16:15] | I’m good with “fine.” I’m fine with “fine.” | |
| [16:18] | Fine. | |
| [16:20] | – Friday’s fine. – Fine. | |
| [16:21] | I’m leaving. | |
| [16:54] | God! | |
| [17:06] | – Oh, hi. – Hi. | |
| [17:09] | I’m Rozalia and this is my husband Costin. | |
| [17:12] | Thank you for coming. Nice to meet you. | |
| [17:14] | So, you guys are a handy couple? That is so cool! | |
| [17:19] | – Yeah, we work together. – Yes. | |
| [17:21] | You go and relax, and we will take care of everything. | |
| [17:24] | Okay, sure. | |
| [17:25] | Costin, get the tools. | |
| [17:28] | – Come on in. – Thank you. | |
| [17:29] | I’ll leave it unlocked for you. | |
| [17:35] | So, | |
| [17:37] | wow, you do hard labor until you labor. | |
| [17:43] | This is my sixth child. I go till I pop. | |
| [17:46] | – Yeah, I know this house. – You do? | |
| [17:50] | A famous silent film actress lived here once. | |
| [17:53] | My grandmother showed it to me, very many years ago. | |
| [17:57] | Really? What actress? | |
| [18:01] | I don’t remember her name, but something happened. Something terrible. | |
| [18:12] | – My daughter sees ghosts. – I’m not surprised. | |
| [18:23] | Every time. | |
| [18:32] | The dinner party guests wanted to play hide and go seek. | |
| [18:36] | Let’s play… Hide and Seek! | |
| [18:52] | In the dark. | |
| [18:59] | And then they heard a… | |
| [19:11] | And it all happened right | |
| [19:14] | here. | |
| [19:16] | Holy shit. | |
| [19:18] | You know, none of the dogs will ever step on that spot. | |
| [19:27] | That’s so true! | |
| [19:30] | She’s the one that sees the ghosts, then, yes? | |
| [19:32] | Oh, they all have the shine. | |
| [19:38] | What, Mom? | |
| [19:40] | Not Mom. | |
| [19:44] | Have to sand around here, too. Yeah? | |
| [19:47] | Oh, you like tarot. | |
| [19:51] | – You want to see the Romani way? – Sure. | |
| [19:59] | We’re going to do a banishing spell. | |
| [20:03] | You see ghosts, no? | |
| [20:05] | Don’t, don’t, don’t say that word. Say “spirit.” | |
| [20:09] | I’m sorry. I spit, too. | |
| [20:12] | – You see spirits. – How’d you know that? | |
| [20:16] | – I know many things. – Also, your mother told her. | |
| [20:22] | Why do you carry all that stuff? | |
| [20:24] | ‘Cause you never know what kind of house you’re gonna walk into. | |
| [20:27] | What kind of dark things you’re going to find, like in this house… | |
| [20:30] | Rozalia, stop. | |
| [20:32] | Don’t worry, little girl. This house is fine. | |
| [20:35] | Just old and leaky. | |
| [20:38] | It is not good to lie to protect the young. She knows, anyway. | |
| [20:44] | She already has the gift. Yeah? | |
| [20:54] | Hey, Sam. Where do you want me next? | |
| [20:56] | Oh, garbage disposal. It’s always jammed. Thank you. | |
| [21:03] | – How about I teach you how to fix? – Yes! | |
| [21:09] | – You want a bowl of chili? – Yes! | |
| [21:13] | – Oh, no. Please don’t put that there. – Sorry. | |
| [21:15] | Can you just take it outside? Yeah. Please take it outside. | |
| [21:18] | No offense. I have a mental… I have a thing. | |
| [21:21] | – No problem. – I really don’t like that. | |
| [21:30] | Push the reset button. | |
| [21:32] | Now put the Allen wrench in the middle and turn the grinder ring. | |
| [21:40] | Now turn it on. | |
| [21:43] | Yes! I did a boy thing! Yes! | |
| [21:50] | This is good. | |
| [21:53] | Put some of the sour cream on and the cheese and the pepper. | |
| [21:56] | I wish my wife could cook like this. | |
| [21:58] | I could teach her. I could teach her how to make this one. | |
| [22:01] | – You teach her, I teach you how to fix. – There you go. | |
| [22:05] | We can give each other fishing poles. | |
| [22:27] | I’m being, like, super careful on these steps now. | |
| [22:30] | Oh, I have good news and bad news. Bad news is, maybe mold. | |
| [22:35] | So what’s the good news? | |
| [22:37] | Good news is this is not the house of the dead hide and seek lady. | |
| [22:40] | That is the house next door. | |
| [22:59] | You’re my first, Frankie. You know, Max just went without telling me, so… | |
| [23:04] | Tell me you’re not gonna cry like you did when I got my training wheels off. | |
| [23:07] | Okay! | |
| [23:11] | I’m so sorry. I love you so much. Monsters in the Moonlight is awesome. | |
| [23:16] | Thank you. | |
| [23:19] | I was in about 30 other things that were better than that. | |
| [23:22] | Frankie Fox? | |
| [23:26] | – What the fuck are you doing? – I… | |
| [23:45] | – Yeah. Her first time? – Yep. | |
| [23:49] | One of those really special mother-daughter moments, | |
| [23:52] | with her in there and me out here. | |
| [23:55] | Well, count your blessings. | |
| [23:57] | My 15-year-old daughter just got Chlamydia for the third time. | |
| [24:02] | Yeah. My daughters are sluts. I’m in here every other week. | |
| [24:08] | I am raising some sluts. | |
| [24:14] | Yep. | |
| [24:19] | Sorry. | |
| [24:24] | Do you have anything new coming out? | |
| [24:29] | Just… | |
| [24:32] | You know, stuff here and there. I actuallly… | |
| [24:36] | I will be right back. | |
| [24:37] | I just got my period for the first time in two years. | |
| [24:52] | – How was it? – Good. Let’s go. | |
| [25:10] | In here. | |
| [25:14] | Oh, my God. Alright. Let’s go. | |
| [25:34] | Mom, have you checked your Hinge at all? | |
| [25:36] | My what? No. I’m a vol-cel. | |
| [25:40] | – You got likes. – I did? | |
| [25:42] | – Yeah. – Anybody good? | |
| [25:44] | Let’s see. | |
| [25:48] | This guy looks, like, really intense. Like a grown up man kind of person. | |
| [25:52] | – Like a dad. – Let me see. | |
| [25:57] | Ew! | |
| [25:59] | Over four million refugees have already left war-torn Gandea. | |
| [26:03] | A vast amount of the refugees reaching Europe are men, | |
| [26:07] | while the women and children are left behind in encampments. | |
| [26:11] | This report has found out that once they reach safety, | |
| [26:14] | a majority of the men have chosen not to return, | |
| [26:18] | leaving their wives and children voluntarily. | |
| [26:22] | Our international correspondent… | |
| [26:23] | You want to get Pinkberry? | |
| [26:26] | – What? – You want to get Pinkberry? | |
| [26:28] | – Yeah! – Me, too. | |
| [26:31] | I got as bottle of hot honey in the glove compartment. | |
| [26:35] | – Of course you do. – Yes! |