时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:23] | It’s just a meeting to give you information. | |
[00:25] | You’re not committing to anything. | |
[00:28] | All you’re doing is you’re here to procure information. | |
[00:31] | – I’m down. – I don’t even know what I’m doing here. | |
[00:33] | – What if Richard finds out? – Good. | |
[00:36] | Because I am not planning on getting divorced. | |
[00:38] | All you’re doing is writing her a check. That’s all. | |
[00:42] | And then if you change your mind and it all goes to caca, | |
[00:45] | Richard won’t be able to summon the motherfuckin’ Night King | |
[00:48] | in there. | |
[00:50] | Don’t worry. | |
[00:53] | You can go in now. | |
[00:54] | – Thank you. – Mm-hmm. | |
[01:10] | Sam. | |
[01:14] | Lenny, Lala, | |
[01:17] | this is the guy I used to be married to’s attorney… | |
[01:20] | – What? – Eva Braun. | |
[01:22] | I thought you were taking us to your attorney. | |
[01:24] | Damn. | |
[01:25] | Shit. | |
[01:27] | Now I know you really love me. | |
[01:29] | – I’m Dee. – Lenny. | |
[01:31] | – Nice to meet you. – Hi. | |
[01:33] | – Hi. – This is Dee Willis. | |
[01:34] | She napalmed my life, | |
[01:35] | – and she’s the best. – Thank you. | |
[01:38] | So you should both hire her to misery-fuck the souls | |
[01:41] | of your shitty meat-sack husbands. | |
[01:43] | You’d be surprised how often I get referrals this way. | |
[01:46] | – Ladies, come on, sit. – Come on, just… | |
[01:48] | we’re just talking. | |
[01:57] | So, who wants to go first? | |
[02:00] | – I’ll happily go first, just to break… – Oh, okay. | |
[02:03] | – …break the ice. – Mm-hmm. | |
[02:04] | – So, I’m Lala. – Mm-hmm. | |
[02:06] | And I want a divorce. | |
[02:14] | Who has sex less than a married lady? | |
[02:16] | – Who? – Nobody! | |
[02:19] | There was just never anything | |
[02:21] | really that wrong with him, you know? | |
[02:22] | – Like a lukewarm bath. – Hard, hard, | |
[02:25] | hard disagree, bro. | |
[02:27] | I mean, sure, there’s nothing right with him, either. | |
[02:29] | There you go! | |
[02:31] | It was comfortable, okay? | |
[02:32] | So kill me. | |
[02:33] | But just saying everything out loud today, | |
[02:36] | I feel so excited. | |
[02:39] | – Yes! – Oh, my God. | |
[02:40] | Bring on the cold showers. | |
[02:42] | – Yep. – Mm. Mm. | |
[02:44] | So, Richard called me last night. | |
[02:47] | Mm. | |
[02:49] | We spent, like, an hour just talking about things. | |
[02:52] | I actually think, | |
[02:54] | in the long term, | |
[02:56] | this might be a good thing for us. | |
[02:58] | A little space. | |
[03:01] | You think I’m crazy? | |
[03:02] | Oh, no, no, no, no. No. | |
[03:04] | We don’t think you’re crazy, honey. | |
[03:06] | It’s just hard to watch you keep doing this to yourself. | |
[03:10] | Do what? Care about my marriage? | |
[03:12] | I mean, since when is there an exact right way to do that? | |
[03:16] | He’s a good dad and he loves me, | |
[03:18] | and I still love him. | |
[03:22] | Like I got so many options. | |
[03:24] | Spitting on 50. | |
[03:29] | Was I supposed to start dating again? | |
[03:31] | In L.A.? | |
[03:32] | Mm. | |
[03:35] | It’s Logan’s Run here. | |
[03:38] | Yeah. And we’re the dead people. | |
[03:41] | Eat pork. Nom, nom, nom. | |
[04:27] | My sisters are so perfect, I literally want to kill myself. | |
[04:31] | I want to get my nose done like this. | |
[04:33] | Sam will never let you. | |
[04:35] | Bullshit. Girl, she got the hump on her nose shaved down. | |
[04:39] | – She told me. – Sick. | |
[04:45] | I want to get my lips done. | |
[04:47] | Cutie. | |
[04:49] | You can literally do anything. | |
[04:51] | Kim Kardashian had a varicose vein on her toe | |
[04:53] | and got it removed because she said it was so ugly. | |
[04:56] | Also I’m fat. | |
[04:59] | If you’re fat, then what the fuck am I? | |
[05:02] | What? | |
[05:03] | Why would you say that? | |
[05:04] | N-No, no, I mean me. | |
[05:06] | You’re perfect. | |
[05:08] | Take it back. | |
[05:10] | I-I take it back. | |
[05:11] | I’m not fat. | |
[05:12] | But… you are perfect. | |
[05:15] | Shut up. | |
[05:18] | I know. | |
[05:23] | I don’t want you to move. | |
[05:27] | Don’t. | |
[05:29] | Maybe it won’t happen. | |
[05:32] | Also… | |
[05:33] | life is long. | |
[05:37] | Let’s get a selfie. | |
[05:44] | Wait. Get this for my side account. | |
[05:46] | Okay. Stand right there. | |
[05:49] | Yes! | |
[06:15] | Look what I’m gonna do for you. | |
[06:18] | Okay. | |
[06:22] | Whose house is this | |
[06:24] | gonna be? | |
[06:25] | Whose house? | |
[06:27] | Whose house? Jesus. | |
[06:36] | Wait, how do you…? | |
[06:42] | “Feisty Ferret Home.” | |
[06:44] | Okay. | |
[06:46] | “One piece is… | |
[06:48] | rail F.” | |
[06:51] | But they don’t tell you what it is. | |
[06:53] | Oh. “Top panel.” | |
[06:55] | 8B… | |
[06:57] | Not rail 8, rail F. | |
[07:00] | But what do you… how do you put ’em? | |
[07:03] | You don’t know, because you don’t count, people. | |
[07:07] | They’re all the same part. | |
[07:27] | Hey, buddy. | |
[07:28] | Hi! | |
[07:29] | I know. | |
[07:31] | But can you come over a little earlier? | |
[07:34] | Like, an hour… | |
[07:36] | or two? | |
[07:40] | I think, uh, you assumed it was the dog or something. | |
[07:43] | And I was actually… | |
[07:46] | the one who left that thing on your rug. | |
[07:49] | Bro… | |
[07:50] | I know. | |
[07:52] | This is amends? | |
[07:54] | Damn. | |
[07:55] | I don’t think I want to hear any more. | |
[07:58] | Listen, | |
[07:59] | I saved that for last, okay? | |
[08:01] | That’s it. I think. | |
[08:03] | At least… that’s everything | |
[08:05] | that I can… | |
[08:07] | – remember. – Okay. | |
[08:13] | So… | |
[08:16] | Oh. | |
[08:17] | Oh. I go now? | |
[08:19] | I see. | |
[08:20] | Okay. Well, then… | |
[08:22] | I don’t… | |
[08:24] | I didn’t know… | |
[08:26] | uh, what the protocol is, | |
[08:28] | because I don’t attend the meetings, so… | |
[08:31] | What is required of me, is it… curtsy? | |
[08:37] | I absolve you of all your shittynesseses. | |
[08:41] | Poof. | |
[08:44] | All gone. | |
[08:49] | It’s o… | |
[08:51] | Okay. | |
[08:53] | Okay. | |
[08:56] | You did okay. | |
[08:57] | Good. All right. Okay. | |
[09:01] | That’s all done. Well, | |
[09:03] | thank you for helping me do boy things | |
[09:07] | and hand things. | |
[09:08] | – Yeah. – Okay. | |
[09:10] | So, Sunny goes next? | |
[09:13] | Yeah. | |
[09:14] | She just texted, and… | |
[09:16] | she’s waiting in the car. | |
[09:19] | So, is her… | |
[09:20] | – Is her stuff in that book, too? – That’s right. | |
[09:24] | – Pretty much the whole thing. – Mm-hmm. | |
[09:26] | Okay. | |
[09:28] | What can I get you? | |
[09:30] | I have LaCroix and O’Doul’s. | |
[09:35] | Good, yeah. | |
[09:36] | Both. | |
[09:37] | Copy. Copy you. | |
[09:40] | Okay, you did… | |
[09:42] | That was… | |
[09:43] | weird and interesting. | |
[09:46] | The floor thing, though. | |
[09:51] | Dad? | |
[09:52] | What’s up, buddy? | |
[09:57] | Dad? | |
[09:58] | Spider. | |
[10:02] | What are you doing? | |
[10:03] | I found a bottle. | |
[10:06] | That’s cool. | |
[10:08] | Are you coming to Pine People with us? | |
[10:10] | Oh. I wish, buddy. | |
[10:13] | But, look, you’re gonna have fun with Auntie Sam tonight, right? | |
[10:15] | I guess. | |
[10:16] | I got you tomorrow. | |
[10:18] | – I know! – Okay. | |
[10:20] | – All right. – Hey. | |
[10:22] | – Hi. – Hey, buddy. | |
[10:23] | You want to go upstairs and get Duke and Pepper? | |
[10:25] | – Yeah. – Grab ’em, and we’ll-we’ll go. | |
[10:27] | – Hello. Hello. – Hi. | |
[10:29] | – Here you go. Here you go. Okay. – Thank you. | |
[10:31] | I’m just gonna get the kids and then change really quick. | |
[10:34] | We’re gonna leave. | |
[10:35] | You guys can have the house all to yourselves. | |
[10:39] | It’s not gonna be awkward. | |
[10:40] | Everybody’s happy. You guys ready to go? | |
[10:43] | Let’s go to the soup. | |
[10:44] | Uh, I’m sorry when I put laxatives | |
[10:47] | in your mom’s soup. | |
[10:49] | Oh. | |
[10:50] | It’s anybody’s guess. I have no… | |
[10:52] | Are you serious? | |
[10:53] | Oh, this one’s a doozy. | |
[10:55] | Doozy. | |
[10:57] | I’m sorry for the time that I… | |
[10:59] | Bathroom, bathroom, bathroom. | |
[11:02] | What?! | |
[11:03] | No. | |
[11:05] | I think. | |
[11:06] | I’m sorry for the time | |
[11:07] | when you broke your shoulder. Remember that? | |
[11:09] | And, uh, and then I stole all your Percocet. | |
[11:12] | Are you fu… | |
[11:13] | I was in so much pain. | |
[11:15] | It’s probably for the better. | |
[11:16] | Those things really dehydrate you, | |
[11:18] | and you wouldn’t have been able to take a shit | |
[11:19] | for a while. | |
[11:20] | Okay. So, I feel like | |
[11:22] | we’re covering a lot so far. This… | |
[11:23] | This one is, uh… | |
[11:25] | It’s deeper. | |
[11:26] | Uh, so, I’m, uh… | |
[11:28] | I’m s… I’m s… | |
[11:34] | I’m sorry for the time when I fingered your sister | |
[11:36] | in the bathroom at your birthday party. | |
[11:39] | Which one? | |
[11:40] | Well, I don’t… Your 38th, | |
[11:42] | – I think. I don’t… – No, which sister? | |
[11:46] | – Uh, maybe take it up with her. – You know, it… | |
[11:48] | – Let’s get to the… – Ask her. I probably have | |
[11:49] | – her contact information. – Go-go to the next one. | |
[11:50] | Just go to the next one. | |
[11:52] | And when I told you | |
[11:53] | I was getting a vasectomy and I didn’t, | |
[11:55] | I’m sorry about that. | |
[11:57] | Although, you know, I’m not sorry | |
[11:59] | for Sorrow. I am also sorry | |
[12:01] | that I stole your brother’s identity and tried | |
[12:04] | – to use it to… – You know you were basically medicated | |
[12:06] | for our entire relationship, right? | |
[12:08] | Yeah. | |
[12:10] | Um, so, I just have a few more, if… | |
[12:13] | And then what? | |
[12:16] | Then you’re gonna make up for 19 years of asshole bullshit? | |
[12:21] | You gonna power-wash my driveway, Jeff? | |
[12:24] | Look, I know I can’t make up | |
[12:26] | for everything, all right? | |
[12:28] | But I really am willing to-to put the effort in. | |
[12:36] | How’s Reiki? | |
[12:39] | What? | |
[12:40] | How’s she doing? | |
[12:42] | She’s good. Yeah. | |
[12:43] | You know, she’s fine. | |
[12:45] | Is it different? | |
[12:48] | Different? | |
[12:50] | Fucking someone when you’re sober. | |
[12:52] | Well, I don’t-I don’t… | |
[12:54] | I haven’t really thought about it like that. I… | |
[12:56] | But I… guess. | |
[12:58] | Wow. | |
[13:01] | We never did a sober bone. | |
[13:05] | Uh, yeah. | |
[13:07] | – Oh, my God. – I mean, I was pretty… | |
[13:08] | pretty faced for a lot of those years. | |
[13:11] | – Yeah. – But now… | |
[13:13] | Now what? | |
[13:14] | Now you’re just a good fucking guy or something? | |
[13:24] | What? | |
[13:30] | Nothing. | |
[13:33] | So, how is Mark doing? | |
[13:36] | He’s fine. | |
[13:38] | Hmm. | |
[13:42] | And obviously… | |
[13:45] | You know. | |
[13:48] | Everything between… | |
[13:50] | Well, things with us, that would all | |
[13:53] | be grandfathered in. | |
[13:56] | Right? | |
[13:58] | I mean, those are… those are the rules. | |
[14:01] | We didn’t write ’em. | |
[14:03] | We just… | |
[14:05] | …play by ’em. | |
[14:07] | I have no idea what you’re talking about. | |
[14:09] | Hmm. | |
[14:12] | Really? | |
[14:16] | Yeah. | |
[14:32] | Hi. | |
[14:36] | Uh, two pedicures and one manicure. | |
[14:38] | Ingrown pedicure? | |
[14:39] | Hi. Hi. | |
[14:42] | Oh, hi. | |
[14:43] | You go to Lily. | |
[14:47] | I’ll do you, baby. Come here. | |
[14:51] | No fair. I never get her. | |
[14:54] | Ooh, pretty color. | |
[15:04] | We’ve been married 17 year. | |
[15:05] | Make me want to vomit. | |
[15:08] | Why do you stay married? | |
[15:09] | Uh, I’m waiting for my baby to go to college. | |
[15:12] | Then I get rid of my husband. | |
[15:14] | My son, he a doctor. | |
[15:17] | My daughter got full ride to UCLA. | |
[15:20] | My middle daughter is engineering science at U of T. | |
[15:23] | – Very difficult program. – Yeah, that’s amazing. | |
[15:26] | I can’t figure out how to make enough money. | |
[15:28] | Hey, I come here 15 year old. | |
[15:31] | Barefoot, pregnant, on a raft. | |
[15:34] | Like how you see all those people | |
[15:35] | on the news right now? That was me. | |
[15:40] | What does that mean? | |
[15:43] | Those who are diligent in working will prosper. | |
[15:48] | Then you don’t need a man. | |
[15:50] | What do you do? | |
[15:52] | Uh, I’m a hostess at a restaurant. | |
[15:55] | – Ah, that good. You’re working. – Yeah. | |
[15:58] | I do nail. | |
[15:59] | Make a fortune. | |
[16:02] | You know, it’s not about how you make your money. | |
[16:05] | It’s about how you save your money. | |
[16:08] | Then hide your money. | |
[16:11] | – I opened up an IRA account. – Mm. | |
[16:13] | Yeah, I put ten percent | |
[16:14] | of every paycheck I make into it. | |
[16:16] | Ah. | |
[16:17] | Well, my boss told me to do it. | |
[16:19] | My sister helped me. | |
[16:22] | You… No offense to my mom, | |
[16:23] | but I don’t want to be like her. | |
[16:25] | Like, always worrying | |
[16:28] | about money and, like, having to work when I’m old. | |
[16:31] | Mm. That what you do | |
[16:33] | so you don’t depend on anybody | |
[16:35] | and nobody suck on you. | |
[16:39] | Ingrown pedicure! | |
[16:40] | You have smart girl. | |
[16:42] | – Mm. – She so smart. | |
[16:43] | And she so pretty, like model. | |
[16:45] | Aw. | |
[16:46] | You want massage today? How about waxing? | |
[16:49] | – Let’s do Wizard of Oz treatment. Yeah? – Yes. Yes. | |
[16:51] | – I want everywhere. – Actually, yes. | |
[16:54] | – Yes on a wax. – Really, Mom? | |
[16:57] | You? Serious? | |
[16:59] | Yeah-huh. I just want to get ahead | |
[17:02] | of a situation that’s happening. | |
[17:05] | I need a little maintenance. | |
[17:08] | It’s patchy. | |
[17:09] | And I want to do what a balding guy does. | |
[17:12] | Just own it and not other people going, | |
[17:15] | “Uh… Uh…” | |
[17:18] | I think it’s time. | |
[17:20] | It’s a bald spot. | |
[17:21] | And I want to be brave, | |
[17:22] | like Jon Cryer was when he finally shaved his head. | |
[17:29] | It’s so funny seeing you get your butt powdered. | |
[17:32] | Just like the old days. | |
[17:33] | – Right, baby? – Mom. | |
[17:35] | Okay, you’re done. | |
[17:37] | It look nice, baby. | |
[17:39] | What if you need to make a caca? | |
[17:41] | That’s gonna hurt. | |
[17:42] | Okay, Mama, you’re up. | |
[17:46] | Rethinking. | |
[17:51] | Oh. Okay. | |
[17:52] | What do you think? | |
[17:54] | Do we look alike? | |
[17:55] | Like mother, like daughter? | |
[17:56] | Are the gobblers the same? | |
[17:58] | Oh, my God. Mom. | |
[18:01] | I’m getting out of here. | |
[18:02] | – No. – Meet me outside. | |
[18:03] | – Thank you so much. – No! | |
[18:05] | – You’re welcome, baby. – You have to hold my hand! | |
[18:07] | What if I need you to put a comb under my tongue?! | |
[18:11] | Go ahead. | |
[18:13] | Leave nothing but the bones. | |
[18:15] | You will look young and pretty. | |
[18:16] | Oh, thank you very much. | |
[18:23] | Like 18 again. | |
[18:25] | Yes. | |
[18:29] | Oh, can you get me a Mario? | |
[18:31] | You guys steal mine. | |
[18:38] | Hello. | |
[18:39] | Hi, Sam. It’s Mal. How are you? | |
[18:41] | Uh, good. | |
[18:43] | New phone, though. | |
[18:45] | Who dis? | |
[18:46] | Your manager, Mal Martone. | |
[18:49] | Oh! Ha! | |
[18:50] | Oh, hi! | |
[18:51] | Guess what I got you. | |
[18:53] | – What? – I got you a gig | |
[18:55] | doing remotes on my client Jessica Barden’s show. | |
[18:58] | She’s fabulous. | |
[19:00] | Yeah, I know her. I just saw her. | |
[19:01] | She told me about this. | |
[19:03] | She wants to contact you about it. | |
[19:05] | It was my idea to put you guys together. | |
[19:07] | You’re both so real. | |
[19:08] | She has a certain damaged quality to her, | |
[19:11] | just like you. | |
[19:11] | I think it’s a match made in heaven. | |
[19:13] | She’ll tell you it was her idea, but it was my idea. | |
[19:15] | – Dave! – Oh. Thank you. | |
[19:17] | Dave! | |
[19:20] | Dave! | |
[19:23] | I am looking for a little boy! He’s seven years old! | |
[19:26] | Okay, what does he look like? | |
[19:27] | Um, he has short brown hair. | |
[19:28] | He’s skinny. I don’t know whether he’s outside | |
[19:30] | – or still in the store. – Okay. | |
[19:32] | – Uh, what’s he wearing? – Uh, shorts | |
[19:33] | and a yellow striped T-shirt. | |
[19:35] | – Uh, I’ll go this way. – Okay. Okay. | |
[19:36] | We’re gonna find him! Dave? | |
[19:38] | – Dave? Dave? – Don’t worry, we’re gonna… | |
[19:41] | – Dave? | – Dave? |
[19:44] | Dave? | |
[19:46] | Dave? | |
[19:49] | Dave? | |
[19:51] | Excuse me. | |
[19:53] | – So sorry. – Have you seen a little boy | |
[19:54] | in, like, a yellow striped shirt? | |
[19:56] | Sorry. | |
[19:57] | – Dave? | – Dave? |
[19:59] | Oh, thank God. | |
[20:00] | See? | |
[20:01] | Ooh! | |
[20:03] | Yes. | |
[20:04] | Thank you so much. | |
[20:06] | We’re just glad you found him. | |
[20:08] | – I was so scared. – Oh, my God. – Scared us. | |
[20:13] | Take care! | |
[20:15] | See that? | |
[20:17] | That’s the circle of life right there. | |
[20:20] | You want to kill yourself when they’re gone, | |
[20:22] | and you want to murder them when you get ’em back. | |
[20:24] | Excuse me. Thank you. | |
[20:27] | I’m sorry. Remember us, from before? | |
[20:29] | This is my-my bag. | |
[20:31] | My-my actual bag. | |
[20:34] | We just went… on a manhunt. | |
[20:37] | Good that everybody… | |
[20:39] | stayed in line. Mm. | |
[20:41] | Employees, too. | |
[20:42] | Stayed at your posts. | |
[20:44] | Line didn’t even move one inch. | |
[20:49] | Dave is fine, by the way. | |
[20:51] | He was successfully reunited with his mother. | |
[20:55] | Not that any of you people care. | |
[20:59] | Because you’re waiting to buy clothing | |
[21:01] | that was made by tiny children who have yet | |
[21:03] | to be reunited with their parents, | |
[21:05] | if ever. | |
[21:06] | Mom. Shh. | |
[21:07] | It’s fine. | |
[21:10] | I am so proud of you. | |
[21:12] | You remember the escape drill. | |
[21:14] | Childhood training kicks in! | |
[21:16] | Yeah, you just dropped in. | |
[21:18] | Know your… | |
[21:20] | Exits. | |
[21:21] | Right. | |
[21:24] | Oh, he wants you to go. | |
[21:28] | Excuse me, th-these ladies are in front of me. | |
[21:32] | They’re waiting and they’re people, too, | |
[21:34] | and you’re ignoring them. | |
[21:37] | Didn’t you think that maybe they can’t just | |
[21:39] | stand here forever at their age? | |
[21:44] | I’m only 42, for God’s sake. | |
[21:46] | Jesus Christ. | |
[21:52] | Bro. | |
[21:58] | Ooh! Hi, guys. | |
[22:01] | Got you some goodies. | |
[22:05] | I had a great day today, Mama. | |
[22:06] | I had a great day, too. | |
[22:09] | – Hey, I got you food. – Thanks. | |
[22:11] | Um, okay. | |
[22:13] | Mm. | |
[22:14] | What did I get? | |
[22:16] | Did you do your homework? | |
[22:18] | Yes, I swear. I’m almost done. | |
[22:20] | Okay. Okay. | |
[22:21] | I got you socks, an umbrella, | |
[22:25] | sunglasses and a flashlight. | |
[22:28] | Cute. | |
[22:30] | – Thank you. – You’re welcome. | |
[22:31] | Hey, hey. Give me some sugar. | |
[22:33] | – Okay. – Mwah. I love you. | |
[22:34] | – Love you, too. – Where’s your sister? | |
[22:36] | – In her room. – Okay. | |
[22:38] | Okay. | |
[22:40] | Oh, Jesus. | |
[22:42] | Okay. | |
[22:43] | Come on, guys. You want to go? | |
[22:45] | You want to go show… Frankie? | |
[22:47] | Let’s go show your sister. Come on. | |
[22:48] | Let’s go upstairs. Let’s go upstairs. | |
[22:52] | Hey, Frankie, | |
[22:53] | I got you some pressie… | |
[22:55] | Get… out… Mom! | |
[22:58] | I’m sorry! | |
[23:00] | Oh. | |
[23:15] | Oof. | |
[23:37] | Oof. | |
[23:44] | Come in. | |
[23:47] | Come in! | |
[23:55] | What? | |
[24:01] | I… | |
[24:03] | Mm. | |
[24:08] | Mom, spit it out. | |
[24:10] | Getting ready for work. | |
[24:12] | I-I just was in Frankie-kie’s room, | |
[24:16] | and there’s a boy in there. | |
[24:20] | So what, Mom? | |
[24:22] | It’s not Jason. | |
[24:24] | I don’t know that gentleman caller. | |
[24:27] | Okay, Mom, it’s okay. | |
[24:32] | He looks old. | |
[24:33] | Mom, she’s the youngest person in her school. | |
[24:35] | She’s trying to fit in. | |
[24:37] | That’s what happens. | |
[24:39] | Oh, God. | |
[24:41] | I never should’ve skipped her. | |
[24:46] | I thought you said Frankie was a boy. | |
[24:49] | Mom, I never said that. | |
[25:03] | Mm. |