| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:40] | Are-are you ready for your… for your film? | |
| [00:42] | Wait. And go. | |
| [00:44] | – He’s got the clap. – What? | |
| [00:46] | You schmuck! You’re ruining my story. | |
| [00:50] | Should’ve wore a jimmy hat. | |
| [00:51] | Oh, I don’t wear jimmy hats. I never have. | |
| [00:54] | – Mm-hmm. – They impede sensation. | |
| [00:57] | And by the way… | |
| [00:59] | Who-who get… | |
| [01:00] | who gets the clap anymore, hmm? | |
| [01:03] | Guys who don’t wear jimmy hats. | |
| [01:05] | Oh, sheesh. | |
| [01:07] | The women my age stopped getting their periods 70 years ago. | |
| [01:11] | My parts are grinding to a halt, | |
| [01:13] | except for my follicle production. | |
| [01:16] | Oh, my God. Me, too, Rosie. Me, too! | |
| [01:20] | – But you look so beautiful. – Oh, I look how I look. | |
| [01:24] | Ah, you know what? You’ll never believe what I just found. | |
| [01:29] | I was looking through my projects folder, | |
| [01:31] | and I found a script written by me and… | |
| [01:37] | Tamara Gonsales. Yeah! | |
| [01:41] | Tamara Gonsales? You and I. | |
| [01:44] | We wrote a script together. Remember? | |
| [01:48] | Oh… | |
| [01:51] | Alan, I think you’re confusing me. | |
| [01:54] | You know I’m Sam, right? I’m Phil and Murray’s daughter. | |
| [01:57] | Oh… Oh, shit. | |
| [02:01] | This is embarrassing. | |
| [02:05] | – Oh. You okay? – Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| [02:09] | Murray. God rest his soul. | |
| [02:12] | What a pain in the ass. | |
| [02:15] | – Your father was a funny man. – Yeah. | |
| [02:18] | – Oh, and dirty. – Now, wait a minute. | |
| [02:21] | I was the funniest. Your father was the second funniest. | |
| [02:25] | Ask your mother, she’ll tell you. | |
| [02:27] | Loved your mother. Oh. | |
| [02:29] | She-she was scary but classy. | |
| [02:32] | She was so mean. | |
| [02:34] | – Mean as a snake. – Hmm. | |
| [02:37] | She’s with a shvartze now. Yeah. I heard about it. | |
| [02:40] | Rocket, you can’t say that word. | |
| [02:42] | I can. You can’t. | |
| [02:45] | It was delicious, her-her rudeness. | |
| [02:47] | But even wh… even when she was | |
| [02:49] | really, really, awfully mean, | |
| [02:52] | she still had this little twinkle in her eye. | |
| [02:55] | Always made me feel like, “I got a shot.” | |
| [03:01] | – Her accent is what got me. – Her tits are what got me. | |
| [03:05] | – Irwin! – She was gorgeous. | |
| [03:07] | – She still is. – I like that. | |
| [03:10] | A daughter who appreciates her parents. | |
| [03:14] | Not like my motherless, | |
| [03:17] | deadbeat, drug-addicted son. | |
| [03:19] | Irwin. | |
| [03:20] | – Easy, yeah? – How about this? | |
| [03:27] | He’s a piece of meat with two eyes. | |
| [03:29] | Oh… | |
| [03:30] | At least his mother is dead. | |
| [03:33] | She didn’t have to live to see this. | |
| [03:39] | This guy and his silver linings. | |
| [03:47] | Rosie. | |
| [03:50] | Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. | |
| [03:52] | I got one for you. I got one. | |
| [03:54] | I got-I got one. I got one for you. | |
| [03:56] | Okay? Um, a Murray Fox proverb. | |
| [03:59] | Oh. | |
| [04:02] | You get stuck… | |
| [04:05] | in writing… | |
| [04:06] | – Huh. – …in marriage, in life, | |
| [04:10] | you get stuck… | |
| [04:13] | “Shake the Cocktail.” | |
| [04:15] | – Oh, yeah! – All right, shake the cocktail. | |
| [04:17] | Shake the cocktail! | |
| [04:20] | – I love it. Thank you, Rocket. – You schtuck. | |
| [04:23] | Schtuck? | |
| [04:24] | He can’t say schtum, but he says schtuck! | |
| [04:35] | You know your sister is in a summer blockbuster. | |
| [04:37] | Uh-huh. | |
| [04:38] | She’s gonna be the next Lara Croft: Middle-aged Tomb Raider. | |
| [04:41] | Is that the monster one? | |
| [04:42] | A mother. I’m playing a mother. | |
| [04:44] | Everyone’s miserable. | |
| [04:46] | I was gonna complain about the AC in my trailer. | |
| [04:49] | Well, at least the money’s good. | |
| [04:50] | Otherwise, I’d have peaced day one. | |
| [04:52] | No, it’s not. They’re paying us barely scale on this. | |
| [04:55] | Not me, baby. | |
| [04:58] | – Oh, damn. – I’m making | |
| [05:00] | a fraction of what the actor who’s playing my husband | |
| [05:02] | is making, and nobody knows who the hell he is. | |
| [05:04] | They’re cheating on turnaround. | |
| [05:06] | No one’s ever heard of union rules. | |
| [05:08] | It’s a shitshow, and it’s gonna make a fortune. | |
| [05:11] | It’s a nice paycheck. | |
| [05:13] | A nice paycheck you were asking for, that’s what you wanted. | |
| [05:16] | There was a manager on set yesterday, | |
| [05:19] | said we should consider filing a grievance for, like, | |
| [05:22] | a stunt adjustment, or some shit like that. | |
| [05:24] | I’m sure your manager’s | |
| [05:25] | all over this, but I’m getting Donte a stunt adjustment, | |
| [05:27] | and I’m filing a grievance on his behalf and Princess’ behalf. | |
| [05:30] | – You want in? – Ooh. How much are they getting? | |
| [05:33] | – 200 bucks. – Mm. | |
| [05:35] | So you should talk to your manager, Tressa. | |
| [05:38] | I mean, you’re Sam Fox, number two on the call sheet. Come on. | |
| [05:40] | – Number three. – My client’s ten. | |
| [05:43] | And that makes sense, as I tend to gravitate toward men | |
| [05:46] | of lower status in life and on the set. | |
| [05:49] | You’re so funny! | |
| [05:52] | Who’s this manager? | |
| [05:53] | I don’t know. Some cool lady with a face. | |
| [05:57] | What cool lady with a face? You talking about Boatie Trell? | |
| [06:00] | No, not a Boatie. | |
| [06:01] | – Mer Kodis? – That one. | |
| [06:04] | – Are these names? Really? – Mm-hmm. | |
| [06:06] | She make a pass at you? | |
| [06:07] | What? No. Calm down. | |
| [06:18] | I’m straight. I’m a straight girl. | |
| [06:20] | – I won’t tell. – She’s a flipper, Sam. | |
| [06:23] | Flip-per. Woo, boy, | |
| [06:26] | you are right up her alley. | |
| [06:27] | That’s her thing, she likes to flip straight girls. | |
| [06:29] | She’s a flipper. | |
| [06:30] | – Stop saying flipper. – Is she cute? | |
| [06:32] | I dated a lesbian once. Business school. | |
| [06:35] | She’s got to be cute if she’s a successful serial flipper. | |
| [06:38] | I don’t know. | |
| [06:39] | For the record, I don’t hate where this is going. | |
| [06:41] | I always wanted you to have a girl phase. | |
| [06:43] | – You did? – Mm-hmm. | |
| [06:44] | – I didn’t. – Mm-hmm? | |
| [06:46] | I mean, I don’t think it’s in me. | |
| [06:49] | I mean, | |
| [06:50] | I like it… in me. | |
| [06:53] | Mom, gross. | |
| [06:55] | You guys are so binary. | |
| [06:58] | I’m not sure what that means, | |
| [07:00] | but I’m pretty sure I’m all about that “D.” | |
| [07:02] | Yeah, I can’t hear any more of this. | |
| [07:05] | I’m with Frankie… I don’t see sexual preference. | |
| [07:07] | That is such bullshit. | |
| [07:09] | Mer Kodis is danger, okay? Listen to me. | |
| [07:11] | Yup, very, so straight. | |
| [07:15] | Is that something people are still doing? | |
| [07:17] | Yup. Still doing straight. | |
| [07:19] | I do straight with straight men… people. | |
| [07:28] | I’ve said nothing. | |
| [07:29] | She was on set, giving her client advice. | |
| [07:32] | I saw her for, like, ten seconds, | |
| [07:33] | and now all of a sudden you’re acting like | |
| [07:36] | we’re running away together. | |
| [07:38] | Jesus. You’re so sensitive and jealous. | |
| [07:42] | I am not jealous. | |
| [07:43] | Okay. Okay. Can we not have a feelings talk? | |
| [07:47] | I’m not having a feelings talk, I’m just giving you some tips. | |
| [07:50] | I’m good. I’m all good. | |
| [07:54] | I feel like you just had a feelings talk. | |
| [08:00] | – Hello! Darling… – Hi. | |
| [08:02] | – …look what I brought you. – Oh, Phil. I don’t. | |
| [08:05] | – Hi, Walter. – Hello, Sam. | |
| [08:07] | Don’t bring that into the house. I have five of those already. | |
| [08:09] | Yes, but it’s a manual can opener. | |
| [08:11] | – I told you I don’t want you to bring – If you mean to… | |
| [08:13] | – any more stuff to my house. – Well, I want you to have it | |
| [08:14] | and I’m going to leave it, anyway. | |
| [08:15] | For the lady. | |
| [08:16] | We have to think about the scenarios | |
| [08:19] | of disaster very carefully. | |
| [08:21] | – Mm. – I’m the president | |
| [08:22] | of the emergency preparedness committee. | |
| [08:24] | Voted unanimously into office. | |
| [08:26] | Well, I’ve seen my share of disasters. | |
| [08:32] | Are we staying for dinner, Phil? | |
| [08:34] | Dinner. I hadn’t thought… | |
| [08:36] | No, no, no, now, we don’t want to intrude. | |
| [08:40] | What’s this? Risotto? | |
| [08:42] | – Mm. – Oh, Walter, we must. | |
| [08:45] | Then we must. | |
| [08:49] | Hmm. It’s interesting how plain it tastes. | |
| [08:59] | Hi. | |
| [09:00] | – Hey. – Hi. | |
| [09:01] | I know who you are. | |
| [09:03] | – Hi. Reiki.. – Sam. | |
| [09:05] | – Nice to meet you. – Nice to finally meet you. | |
| [09:07] | What’s up? | |
| [09:09] | Sorrow, your dad’s here. | |
| [09:11] | They’ve been giving each other tattoos. | |
| [09:14] | She’s on the toilet. | |
| [09:16] | Whoa, is that Sharpie? | |
| [09:19] | Are you crazy? It’s eyeliner. | |
| [09:21] | – Of course. – Can Sorrow | |
| [09:23] | and Pepper sleep over tonight? | |
| [09:25] | – I don’t know, it’s a… – Please? | |
| [09:27] | – We’re talking about a school night. – Please, please. | |
| [09:28] | How do we feel about that? | |
| [09:30] | – I’m good. | – I’m good. |
| [09:31] | Yes! | |
| [09:33] | – So, come on in. – Great. | |
| [09:35] | Did you guys eat? | |
| [09:37] | – No. – Stay. Stay. | |
| [09:39] | It smells delicious. | |
| [09:41] | – It is delicious. Come on. – Okay. | |
| [09:43] | Don’t you want to check the car? | |
| [09:48] | Oh, God, yes, yes. | |
| [09:50] | – What… – Great. | |
| [09:52] | – What are you checking? – Just simmer down. | |
| [09:54] | Oh, your art is so beautiful. | |
| [09:57] | I love it. | |
| [09:59] | Yeah, I love it, too. | |
| [10:00] | – Yeah. – Come on. | |
| [10:02] | Let me wine you and dine you. | |
| [10:04] | Thank you. | |
| [10:05] | – Reiki, this is my mom, Phil. – Hi. | |
| [10:08] | – Hello. – And her special friend Walter. | |
| [10:11] | – Walter, hi. – Nice to meet you. | |
| [10:13] | – That’s my bro Marion. – Hello. Nice to meet you. | |
| [10:15] | – And the rest. – Hey. | |
| [10:16] | – I’m Rich, hi. I’m the rest. – Hi, Rich. Hi. | |
| [10:19] | – Red or white? – Anything nonalcoholic. | |
| [10:21] | – All right, I got you. – So, you’re the decorator. | |
| [10:24] | I am. | |
| [10:25] | You’re with Sunny’s bum of a husband? | |
| [10:28] | You should meet my mother. | |
| [10:31] | He’s her ex-husband. | |
| [10:33] | And I find him charming in every way. | |
| [10:36] | – Every way? – Mm-hmm. All the ways. | |
| [10:39] | Well, there’s a lid for every pot. | |
| [10:41] | Yeah, well, his lid certainly fits my pot. | |
| [10:44] | Cheers. | |
| [10:48] | Cheers. | |
| [10:51] | Everyone… | |
| [10:52] | this is Dexter. Hello. | |
| [10:55] | – The fuck? – And his handler Linda, | |
| [10:58] | – as required by state law. – Hi. Jump. | |
| [10:59] | Yeah, check this out. He jumps. Watch this. | |
| [11:01] | Come on. | |
| [11:02] | Look at that. | |
| [11:04] | – Yeah. – Get it off me. Get it off me. | |
| [11:05] | Get it off. | |
| [11:07] | My God. Frankie! Jason! | |
| [11:10] | Girls, get down here right now! | |
| [11:13] | – Are you okay, Mom? It’s okay. – Stay. | |
| [11:15] | I love monkeys. | |
| [11:16] | She does. She loves ’em, yeah. | |
| [11:18] | Her birthday’s next week, so I found her one. | |
| [11:19] | We’ve been hanging out all day. | |
| [11:24] | Oh. | |
| [11:26] | Mom, Mom, can we keep it? | |
| [11:27] | Well, I mean, it’s just a rental, so… | |
| [11:28] | Can we rent it? Mom, can we rent it? Mom? | |
| [11:31] | – Bro! – Mom, please. | |
| [11:32] | He’s here now. Play with him now. Ow. | |
| [11:45] | That’s it? He catches a grape? That’s, uh, | |
| [11:48] | a little underwhelming. | |
| [11:50] | A grape out of your ear, maybe. | |
| [11:51] | You should get him some cymbals or something. | |
| [11:52] | Honey, you want to throw a grape to the monkey? | |
| [11:55] | It feels very intense | |
| [11:57] | to have a primate in the house. | |
| [11:59] | Mm. | |
| [12:01] | Oh. She’s not into it. | |
| [12:05] | – You see his shorts? – Yeah, I did. | |
| [12:06] | – Is that what those are? – Yeah, those are shorts. | |
| [12:13] | Mm… | |
| [12:15] | What about Jeff’s new lady? I mean… | |
| [12:18] | holy crap, right? | |
| [12:20] | I know. | |
| [12:21] | – That face. – Yeah, you think it’s real, | |
| [12:23] | – or work done? – I don’t know. | |
| [12:24] | But good for him. Wow. | |
| [12:27] | How old do you think she is? | |
| [12:29] | Who cares? She’s fantastic. So sexy. | |
| [12:31] | Mm. | |
| [12:38] | It’s still half plus seven, right? | |
| [12:40] | I mean, that’s the rule. | |
| [12:42] | Half… Half your age, plus seven. | |
| [12:45] | Wow, that’s strong. | |
| [12:47] | Well, I’m breaking that rule. My new boyfriend’s 25. | |
| [12:49] | Get out of here. | |
| [12:50] | Mm-hmm. | |
| [12:55] | I wonder if his friends whisper about me like this. | |
| [12:58] | Whether or not you’ve had injections | |
| [13:01] | in your lips, you mean? | |
| [13:02] | How dare you. | |
| [13:04] | Of course I have. | |
| [13:11] | Oh, Jesus, you guys hotboxed the garage. | |
| [13:14] | – Dinner’s ready. – You want? You want? | |
| [13:15] | Yerp. | |
| [13:17] | Does she… know that I’m… out here? | |
| [13:20] | Careful, it’s really strong. | |
| [13:22] | Uh, yeah. | |
| [13:24] | – Is this your boyfriend’s? – What? Yeah. | |
| [13:26] | That’s not old people weed. | |
| [13:27] | This’ll kill you. I can’t have any more. | |
| [13:30] | – I can. – I used to have to smoke nine joints. | |
| [13:31] | Now it’s one hit and… | |
| [13:33] | – Oh, yeah. – …I’m a dolphin. | |
| [13:36] | – Oh… oh, wow. – Yeah. | |
| [13:39] | How long were we there? | |
| [13:41] | – Hours, days… – No. 30 minutes. | |
| [13:44] | – Is that it? – Yeah. | |
| [13:45] | – I came looking for you… – Oh, that’s good. | |
| [13:46] | …after 20 minutes. | |
| [13:48] | Is it weird that I can’t feel my hair? | |
| [13:50] | – No, that’s not so… – I have so little left. | |
| [13:52] | Can you usually feel your hair? | |
| [13:55] | You know, and then you get | |
| [13:57] | the onions and the shallots. | |
| [13:59] | Mm-hmm. – And, um, | |
| [14:01] | you can either use, if you don’t have any tomatoes… | |
| [14:05] | – Oh. – What?! My baby. | |
| [14:08] | Oh, oh, hi, baby! | |
| [14:12] | Hi, Mom. | |
| [14:13] | Hi from college. We’re making dinner. | |
| [14:17] | – Risotto. Say hi to everybody. – Ooh. | |
| [14:19] | – Hi, darling Max. – Hey, Max. | |
| [14:21] | Hi. Oh, hi, Gram. Hi, Walter. | |
| [14:24] | Is it cold in the tundra? | |
| [14:26] | I haven’t seen my legs in, like, three weeks. | |
| [14:29] | You’re wearing a tank top. | |
| [14:30] | Oh, I know, we, like, crank up the heat. | |
| [14:33] | – Mom, I need to tell you… – We got a monkey. | |
| [14:34] | – Hmm? – Oh, my God! | |
| [14:38] | You wait until I leave to get a monkey? | |
| [14:41] | – I don’t know. Not ours. – Oh. | |
| [14:43] | Did you order those Korean face masks? | |
| [14:46] | Yes, I did. | |
| [14:51] | Honey, so how are you? Are you making friends? | |
| [14:55] | Yeah, it’s, uh, it’s great. | |
| [14:57] | Everyone’s really chill, you know. | |
| [14:59] | I mean, it’s different. | |
| [15:01] | – Yeah. | – Yeah. |
| [15:02] | That’s good. I’m so proud of you. | |
| [15:05] | So, Mom, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna finish the semester. | |
| [15:08] | – But… – Oh, I got to serve the plates now. | |
| [15:11] | I got to serve the… the… | |
| [15:13] | Finish… finish the semester? | |
| [15:15] | – She may. Pretty sure. – She may finish the semester. | |
| [15:20] | We’re doing a pop-up restaurant in Echo Park. | |
| [15:23] | – Oh, really? – What? | |
| [15:25] | – Yeah. – That’s right. | |
| [15:26] | Limited menu, mostly barbecue. Small bites. | |
| [15:29] | Gauge investor interest. | |
| [15:31] | – Hmm. – Aw, they’re gonna love it. | |
| [15:33] | Yeah, he’s a natural. | |
| [15:34] | I do a few things well. | |
| [15:36] | – Not like Sam. – Aw. | |
| [15:37] | I didn’t know you cooked. | |
| [15:39] | Well, you know, Sunny hates eating. | |
| [15:44] | Mm. | |
| [15:45] | I don’t like men in the kitchen. | |
| [15:47] | It seems undignified. Do you know, | |
| [15:49] | my father severed the top of his thumb off, | |
| [15:52] | and I didn’t notice, but it had gone right into the pastry, | |
| [15:55] | and I rolled it up. | |
| [15:56] | I think I ate a bit of it, or just the nail. | |
| [16:00] | What is… | |
| [16:02] | – happening? – But I’ve never told it. | |
| [16:05] | Did you ever hear this story? | |
| [16:07] | – Hello, hello, hello. – Just the nail? | |
| [16:10] | – Oh. – Hi. | |
| [16:15] | – Hello. – Hi. | |
| [16:22] | Uh, am I interrupting? | |
| [16:25] | I just, um… Sorrow! | |
| [16:29] | Uh… | |
| [16:31] | she’s staying. | |
| [16:33] | Yeah, they’re doing, like, a sleepover thing. | |
| [16:35] | I thought I was… I mean, I’m staying | |
| [16:37] | at the house tonight, so… | |
| [16:39] | Hi, Mark. | |
| [16:40] | Hi. | |
| [16:41] | You guys, come in. | |
| [16:44] | Join us, come on. | |
| [16:45] | I made lemon risotto. | |
| [16:47] | It’s got, like, a million trillion calories. | |
| [16:49] | So good. | |
| [16:51] | Oh, it’s so good. | |
| [16:53] | – Hi, hi, hi. – Hi, I’m Mark. | |
| [16:55] | – Mwah. Hi, hi. – Hi. | |
| [16:56] | Pleasure. | |
| [16:57] | Marion. I didn’t know you were in town. | |
| [16:59] | – Hello, gorgeous. – Mark. Hi, there. | |
| [17:01] | – Right this way, table waiting. – Hi. | |
| [17:04] | – Hi, honey. – Hi. | |
| [17:06] | Oh, good. Good. Okay. | |
| [17:07] | You guys sit together. You can talk | |
| [17:09] | about money and Republican-y stuff, | |
| [17:11] | – and I’ll get you guys some bowls. – Ha, ha. | |
| [17:13] | I’ll be right back. | |
| [17:17] | – So you’re a Republican? – Yes. Yes I am. | |
| [17:20] | – Still? – Mm… | |
| [17:22] | – But he loves the gays. – True. Can’t get enough. | |
| [17:25] | Oh, um, | |
| [17:28] | Mark and I drank one of your bottles of kombucha. | |
| [17:31] | – I’ll replace it, I… – No, it’s no big deal. | |
| [17:34] | I’m sorry, I’m confused. | |
| [17:35] | Do you all live together, like in a commune? | |
| [17:38] | Oh. No. | |
| [17:42] | I can’t even share a bathroom. No. | |
| [17:44] | We share the house. | |
| [17:46] | The… the kids stay put. We, um, | |
| [17:48] | – alternate days. – You what? | |
| [17:51] | Sounds dreadful. | |
| [17:52] | It’s called nesting, dear. | |
| [17:54] | I can hear you. You don’t have to shout. | |
| [17:56] | – It’s working well. – Yeah, | |
| [17:58] | the kids don’t have to move around, I get it. | |
| [17:59] | I thought the whole point of getting divorced | |
| [18:01] | was that you don’t have to get annoyed | |
| [18:02] | at the empty pickle jar in the fridge anymore, | |
| [18:04] | with the single pickle floating around like a turd. | |
| [18:06] | I’ve always felt that about a single pickle in a jar. | |
| [18:10] | – Looks like a turd? – Yeah. | |
| [18:11] | Or that’s the whole reason for divorce? | |
| [18:13] | Jeff loves | |
| [18:14] | to leave his laundry in the hamper, | |
| [18:17] | like there’s some magic laundry fairy | |
| [18:19] | that’s just gonna go, you know, like, “Poof.” | |
| [18:21] | Hmm. | |
| [18:24] | That’s… that’s hilarious. | |
| [18:26] | Yeah. That happened once in six months. | |
| [18:29] | So… | |
| [18:30] | Sounds awfully complicated. | |
| [18:32] | In our day, we just stayed married and had affairs. | |
| [18:43] | – Mm. – Oh, come on, darling. | |
| [18:46] | Eat up. | |
| [18:49] | That’s really good. | |
| [18:51] | – You made this? – Thank you. Oh, yeah. | |
| [18:52] | – Lovely, really good. – Thank you. | |
| [18:59] | – Yeah, it’s the framboise. – Oh, is that what gives it that | |
| [19:02] | – little bit of brown there? – Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. | |
| [19:04] | It smells so good. Bro, smell. | |
| [19:06] | Dessert’s for children and people don’t care | |
| [19:08] | what they look like. We need to talk. | |
| [19:10] | Oh. That’s my brother’s serious voice. | |
| [19:13] | I want to talk to you about Phil’s mental state. | |
| [19:16] | Well, I don’t. | |
| [19:18] | For example, she shouldn’t be driving a car. | |
| [19:20] | Oh, Jesus. | |
| [19:22] | Can you just please give this to Duke? | |
| [19:44] | You’ve been saying this for ten years now. | |
| [19:46] | Every time you see her, you want to sell the house, | |
| [19:49] | take away her car and put her in a home. | |
| [19:51] | She lost her American Express card four times this summer. | |
| [19:55] | Yes, four. | |
| [19:56] | She lost her phone twice. | |
| [19:58] | And when she does her answer her phone, she does it in an accent. | |
| [20:01] | – Not English. – Yeah. | |
| [20:02] | That’s because she gets so many telemarketers. | |
| [20:06] | She doesn’t want them to know it’s her. | |
| [20:08] | Hello? | |
| [20:11] | That’s just smart. | |
| [20:12] | You won’t think it’s funny when she really hurts herself | |
| [20:15] | or someone else. | |
| [20:17] | Let me ask you something. | |
| [20:19] | Do you have any intention of moving to L.A. | |
| [20:21] | and driving her to bridge every Tuesday? | |
| [20:24] | Or picking her up from Ross Dress for Less | |
| [20:26] | or Jewish Council Thrift on an hourly basis? | |
| [20:30] | I didn’t think so. | |
| [20:31] | So, please, bro, hoe your own row. | |
| [20:35] | What is my row, Sam? | |
| [20:38] | You know. Doing bank shit. | |
| [20:40] | Money. Being afraid of your wife. | |
| [20:43] | Basically never doing anything | |
| [20:45] | to help me, ever. I handle Phil. | |
| [20:56] | God… | |
| [20:59] | He’s right, Cookie. | |
| [21:01] | Could you and Mom | |
| [21:03] | have gone a little bit easier on him? | |
| [21:05] | He’s so wound up. He’s got such a chip on his shoulder. | |
| [21:08] | It wasn’t intentional. | |
| [21:10] | He’s the firstborn. | |
| [21:11] | The burned pancake. | |
| [21:13] | And the second child is like a rewrite. | |
| [21:16] | Always comes out a little better. | |
| [21:18] | Dad. | |
| [21:19] | – Yes? – Let me ask you something. | |
| [21:21] | Mm-hmm? | |
| [21:23] | Do you think I should take Phil’s car away? | |
| [21:26] | Put her in a home? | |
| [21:28] | Let me ask you something. | |
| [21:30] | You ever win a knife fight with a midget? | |
| [21:39] | Whoa. | |
| [21:46] | Uh, Truman Capote? | |
| [21:47] | – Long time ago. – Very fat. Very, very, very fat. | |
| [21:49] | Uh, Winston Churchill. Chubby Checker. | |
| [21:52] | – Ponytail. With a ponytail. – No, with a beard. | |
| [21:54] | – The, ugh… – Jackie Gleason. | |
| [21:56] | – Fatty Arbuckle! – Warrior. Rode a-rode a horse. | |
| [21:58] | – Fat horse rider? – A very fat Oriental. | |
| [22:01] | – Other team! – Genghis Khan. | |
| [22:04] | Yes! | |
| [22:05] | Phil, you cannot help them. | |
| [22:06] | I’m not under your control, darling. | |
| [22:09] | It’s upside down. | |
| [22:10] | Give! | |
| [22:13] | Black-and-white, black-and-white. | |
| [22:14] | – Penguin! – Yes! | |
| [22:18] | – That was good. – Pickup truck. | |
| [22:32] | Hey, kiddo. | |
| [22:36] | What are you doing? | |
| [22:42] | Oh… | |
| [22:49] | That’s a good girl. | |
| [22:56] | Here. |