英文名称：Beautiful Boy
年代：2018
推荐：千部英美剧台词本阅读
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:37] | So, this is for, uh, | 这次前来是为了 |
| [00:38] | New York Times Magazine? | 《纽约时报杂志》写稿吗 |
| [00:39] | No. I’m sorry, that… | 不 抱歉 那… |
| [00:42] | there… | 其实… |
| [00:43] | mm… no, I freelance. | 不 我是自由职业者 |
| [00:46] | I write for different magazines, | 我为很多杂志写稿 |
| [00:47] | but this is a personal matter. | 但我这次是为私事来的 |
| [00:49] | A personal matter? | 私事 |
| [00:50] | Yes, I’m sorry. Is that okay? | 对 抱歉 可以吗 |
| [00:52] | No, it’s absolutely okay. | 当然了 |
| [00:53] | May I ask what-what this is regarding and…? | 我能问一下是关于什么事吗 |
| [00:55] | Uh, it’s about my son. | 是我儿子的事 |
| [00:59] | Okay. How can I help? | 好的 有什么我能帮忙的 |
| [01:02] | He… | 他… |
| [01:07] | There are moments that I look at him, | 有时候我看着他 |
| [01:11] | this kid that I raised, | 那个我养大的孩子 |
| [01:14] | who I thought I knew inside and out, | 我以为我里里外外都很了解的孩子 |
| [01:17] | and I wonder who he is. | 我会想 他到底是谁 |
| [01:22] | He’s been doing all sorts of drugs, | 他一直在摄入各种毒品 |
| [01:24] | but he’s addicted to crystal meth, | 但他现在对冰毒上瘾 |
| [01:27] | which seems, uh, to be the worst of all of ’em. | 那是毒品里最糟糕的一种 |
| [01:31] | And I guess I’m here | 我来这里 |
| [01:34] | because I just want to know… | 是因为我想知道 |
| [01:39] | all that I can about… | 我可以对此 |
| [01:41] | all of it. | 做些什么 |
| [01:43] | Know your enemies, right? | 了解你的敌人 对吧 |
| [01:45] | So… | 所以… |
| [01:50] | My two big questions are, | 我的两大问题是 |
| [01:52] | wh-what is it doing to him, | 那对他有何影响 |
| [01:55] | and what can I do to help him? | 我能做点什么来帮他 |
| [02:56] | Marin General Hospital. How may I help you? | 马林综合医院 请问有什么需要帮忙 |
| [02:58] | Hi. My son has gone missing, | 你好 我儿子失踪了 |
| [03:01] | and I wanted to check to see if he had… | 我想问问他是不是… |
| [03:04] | uh, maybe had been brought in | 有可能被送去医院 |
| [03:06] | or-or if-if there’d been an accident. | 或者是不是出了什么事故 |
| [03:09] | Can I have name and description, sir? | 请问姓名是什么 他是什么样子 |
| [03:12] | Nicolas Sheff. | 尼古拉斯·谢菲 |
| [03:13] | S-h-e-f-f. | 感谢的谢 王菲的菲 |
| [03:16] | He is… | 他… |
| [03:17] | 18 years old. | 18岁 |
| [03:19] | He is just over six feet tall. | 一米八多一点 |
| [03:22] | About 130 pounds. | 大概120斤 |
| [03:24] | Maybe less. I-I don’t know. Um… | 也可能不到 我不清楚… |
| [03:27] | He has shoulder-length brown hair | 他留着齐肩棕色长发 |
| [03:30] | and green eyes. | 眼睛是绿色的 |
| [03:32] | Thank you. Please hold. | 谢谢 请稍等 |
| [03:34] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [03:36] | – Mr. Sheff? – Yes. | -谢菲先生 -我在 |
| [03:38] | Uh, there’s no one by that name, sir. | 我们医院没有叫那个名字的病人 |
| [03:40] | Okay. Thank you. | 好的 谢谢 |
| [04:24] | He’s been gone for two days. | 他已经失踪两天了 |
| [04:26] | What do you mean he’s gone? | 你说他失踪是什么意思 |
| [04:28] | – What’s going on? – I don’t know. | -出什么事了 -我不知道 |
| [04:30] | – I don’t know. – Two days? | -我不知道 -两天 |
| [04:31] | Why didn’t you tell me sooner? | 你怎么不早告诉我 |
| [04:33] | Uh, I didn’t want to worry you, I guess. | 因为我不想让你担心吧 |
| [04:35] | – I just… – I’m his mother, David. | -我… -我是他母亲 大卫 |
| [04:37] | Didn’t you see this coming? | 之前一点迹象都没有吗 |
| [04:39] | Uh, no. | 没有 |
| [04:40] | What? | 什么 |
| [04:42] | No, no, I didn’t see it coming. | 没有 一点迹象都没有 |
| [04:43] | If I’d seen it coming, I would’ve done something. | 如果有迹象 我肯定会采取措施了 |
| [04:46] | It was just a question, David. Jesus. | 我就随便问问而已 大卫 |
| [04:48] | I haven’t been talking with him a lot lately. | 最近我没怎么跟他说话 |
| [04:50] | Well, maybe that’s why you shouldn’t be giving me advice | 所以在养儿子方面 轮不到你 |
| [04:52] | in parenting, right? | 给我建议 是吧 |
| [04:54] | Fuck, Vicki. | 操 维姬 |
| [04:56] | Can we just not blame each other right now? That’s… | 我们能先别互相责备吗 这… |
| [04:58] | Who’s blaming who here? | 到底是谁在责备谁 |
| [05:00] | If I hardly ever see him, it’s because he’s supposed | 如果我几乎不怎么见他 那是因为他应该 |
| [05:02] | to come to L.A. for the holidays | 来洛杉矶过节 |
| [05:04] | but always finds a reason not to come. | 但总是找理由不来 |
| [05:06] | Well, that’s not my fault, is it? | 那不是我的错吧 |
| [05:45] | Nic. | 尼克 |
| [05:48] | Here’s your little brother. | 这是你弟弟 |
| [05:51] | Tight. | 抱好 |
| [05:53] | Just support his head. | 托住他的头 |
| [06:01] | Hi, Jasper. | 你好 贾斯珀 |
| [06:03] | Hi, little boy. | 你好 小家伙 |
| [06:09] | This is amazing. | 太神奇了 |
| [06:14] | He’s sticking his tongue out. | 他把舌头伸出来了 |
| [06:20] | Hi. Nice to meet you. | 你好 很高兴见到你 |
| [06:22] | – Bye. – Bye. | -拜拜 -拜拜 |
| [06:24] | – I’ll miss you this summer. – Me, too. | -今年夏天我会想你的 -我也是 |
| [06:26] | – Okay, write me. – Write me back. | -要给我写信 -给我回信 |
| [06:28] | Work on your French. | 好好学法语 |
| [06:30] | Oui, madame. | 遵命 女士 |
| [06:31] | Have a great summer. | 暑假愉快 |
| [06:32] | And say hi to your mom. | 代我向你妈妈问好 |
| [06:36] | – Everything. – Everything. | -一切 -一切 |
| [07:48] | Come on. | 来 |
| [08:13] | – Where have you been? – Yeah, I just need to sleep, | -你去哪儿了 -我只是需要睡觉 |
| [08:16] | – all right? – What have you been doing? | -好吗 -你干什么了 |
| [08:18] | I just need to sleep, all right? Leave me alone. | 我需要睡觉 好吗 别来烦我 |
| [08:20] | Guys, go downstairs. | 孩子们 去楼下 |
| [08:24] | I’ll be there in a minute. | 我马上过去 |
| [09:10] | Look, man, I’m-I’m, uh… | 听着 老爸 我… |
| [09:12] | I’m really sorry, all right? And-and I, uh… | 我真的很抱歉 知道吗 我… |
| [09:17] | I fucked up, and it was a mistake, but… | 我搞砸了 那是个错误 但是… |
| [09:19] | it was a one-time mistake, all right? I learned my lesson. | 只此一次 好吗 我吸取到教训了 |
| [09:21] | I don’t want to go through this shit again, all right? So… | 我不想再经历这种破事了 好吗 所以… |
| [09:25] | – Let’s just go inside. – No. | -我们进去吧 -不 |
| [09:26] | They’re professionals. | 他们是专业人士 |
| [09:27] | Let’s just listen to what they have to say. | 我们去听听他们怎么说 |
| [09:29] | Look, I’m 18, all right?! You can’t force me! | 我已经成年了好吗 你不能强迫我 |
| [09:35] | This got out of hand, right? | 这事已经失控了 好吗 |
| [09:37] | Don’t you think? | 你不这么觉得吗 |
| [09:43] | Come on. | 走吧 |
| [09:46] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [09:47] | Okay. Okay. | 好 好 |
| [09:54] | I’m doing it for you. | 我是为了你才去的 |
| [10:25] | He needs treatment. And fast. | 他需要治疗 要快 |
| [10:27] | There’s still a lot of drugs in his system. | 他体内还是有很多药物 |
| [10:30] | And, worst of all, he’s in denial. | 最糟糕的是 他对此否认 |
| [10:34] | Um, can you help him? | 你能帮他吗 |
| [10:37] | Oh, yeah. I mean, | 可以 我是说 |
| [10:39] | a lot of the people here are not here by choice. | 很多人都不是自愿来这里的 |
| [10:42] | And they have just as much chance as anybody. | 他们的成功几率不会减少 |
| [10:44] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [10:46] | So, we have a free bed. | 我们免费提供床位 |
| [10:48] | So, if you want, we can check him in for a 28-day treatment | 如果你想 我们可以让他参加为期28天的治疗 |
| [10:51] | and then we evaluate. | 然后评估治疗结果 |
| [10:56] | What is your success rate? | 你们的成功率是多少 |
| [10:58] | On the high end, 80%. | 最高的时候有80% |
| [11:00] | On the low end, | 最低的时候嘛 |
| [11:02] | 25%. | 是25% |
| [11:05] | Look, he will have daily consultations | 他每天都会参加 |
| [11:07] | with a staff psychiatrist and physician. | 全职精神科医生的咨询 |
| [11:09] | We have daily N.A. And A.A. Meetings. | 我们每天都有匿名戒瘾会 |
| [11:13] | He’ll be monitored very closely. | 他会得到密切观察 |
| [11:17] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [11:20] | And last page. | 最后一页 |
| [11:24] | Everything. | 一切 |
| [11:28] | Everything. | 一切 |
| [12:17] | Why are you always in this room? | 你为什么总在这个房间里 |
| [12:20] | You hardly ever come out of here. | 你几乎不出去 |
| [12:21] | It’s like you’re a vampire. | 就好像你是个吸血鬼 |
| [12:25] | I read. | 我看书 |
| [12:28] | I draw. | 我画画 |
| [12:30] | You know what we should do? | 你知道我们该做什么吗 |
| [12:32] | We should go surfing. | 我们该去冲浪 |
| [12:34] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [12:36] | That sound good? | 听起来不错吧 |
| [12:38] | I’m kind of into other things now, you know? | 我现在喜欢别的东西了 |
| [12:41] | Reading misanthropes and seriously depressed writers. | 看重度抑郁又厌世的作家的作品 |
| [12:44] | Oh, come on, they’re… | 别这样 他们 |
| [12:46] | they’re kind of great, though, right? | 其实他们很棒 对吧 |
| [12:48] | I get it. | 我明白 |
| [12:51] | It’ll pass, though. | 不过会过去的 |
| [12:53] | It always does. | 总是如此 |
| [12:55] | What does? | 什么 |
| [12:57] | The feeling of being alienated and isolated. | 那种孤独脱离的感觉 |
| [13:02] | Huh, that really helps. | 这真有帮助 |
| [13:03] | Thanks for the advice, Dad. | 谢谢你的建议 爸 |
| [13:07] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [13:10] | All right. That was… | 好吧 我… |
| [13:12] | That came out wrong. I’m sorry. | 我不是那个意思 抱歉 |
| [13:25] | All right. Your-your idea. | 好吧 你的…你的主意 |
| [13:31] | Hey, Dad. | 爸 |
| [13:34] | So, we feel he’s made great progress. | 看来他取得了巨大的进步 |
| [13:37] | – Right, Nic? – Hi. | -是吧 尼克 -嗨 |
| [13:39] | – That’s great. – That’s great. | -好极了 -好极了 |
| [13:41] | So we should maybe talk about the coming weeks, Nic. | 我们应该谈谈未来的几周 尼克 |
| [13:43] | Mm. I think I need to… | 我觉得我需要… |
| [13:45] | I think I need a little bit more time in rehab. So if it’s… | 我觉得我需要再去戒瘾所待一段时间 如果… |
| [13:48] | if it’s all right with you guys, I was wondering | 如果你们不介意 我想问问 |
| [13:50] | if I could stay in the halfway house here. | 我能不能去这里的康复中心 |
| [13:52] | The halfway house is an open living facility | 康复中心是一处开放的生活设施 |
| [13:56] | with follow-up every night, | 每晚都有随访 |
| [13:58] | and we would help him find a job. | 我们会帮他找份工作 |
| [14:01] | Right. I don’t want to… | 对 我现在不想… |
| [14:03] | – go to college… right now. – Oh? | -上大学 -是吗 |
| [14:08] | Okay. Uh, um, and do what? | 好吧 那干什么 |
| [14:11] | I think I need to be independent. | 我觉得我需要独立 |
| [14:18] | Dad, I’m telling you, this is… | 爸 我跟你说 这… |
| [14:22] | It’s gonna be good. | 会有好结果的 |
| [14:25] | What is he gonna do, | 他要干什么 |
| [14:26] | make coffee for the rest of his life? | 下半辈子都给人泡咖啡吗 |
| [14:28] | You know what, Frederick told me | 知道吗 弗雷德里克告诉我 |
| [14:30] | that they have friends that had a son | 他们朋友的儿子 |
| [14:31] | that did a four-week program and that wasn’t enough | 参加了为期四周的项目后还不够 |
| [14:33] | and now he’s doing a year program. | 现在又参加一年的项目了 |
| [14:35] | I wish you wouldn’t talk to everybody about it. | 你不要把这件事到处跟人说 |
| [14:40] | What does that got to do with anything? | 这有什么关系 |
| [14:42] | To protect Nic. I mean, at some point, | 要保护尼克 总有一天 |
| [14:43] | he’s gonna want to get on with his life. | 他会想继续自己的生活 |
| [14:45] | And maybe it’s best that not everybody knows about this. | 所以还是不要闹得人尽皆知为好 |
| [14:47] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:52] | Can we not make this about me? | 能别把话题转移到我身上吗 |
| [14:53] | Uh… All right. | 好吧 |
| [14:54] | Look, Nic needs some more time. | 尼克还需要一些时间 |
| [14:57] | And that’s fine. | 这没问题 |
| [14:59] | – Okay? – Okay. | -好吗 -好 |
| [15:01] | Okay? | 好吗 |
| [15:02] | Yeah, okay. | 好 |
| [15:17] | David Sheff. | 大卫·谢菲 |
| [15:18] | Hi, Mr. Sheff. | 谢菲先生 你好 |
| [15:19] | This is Annie Goldblum from the Ohlhoff Center. | 我是奥洛夫中心的安妮·戈德布拉姆 |
| [15:22] | Oh, yes. Hi. Hello. | 这样 你好 |
| [15:24] | Listen, I am sorry to disturb you, | 很抱歉打扰你 |
| [15:26] | but I need to inform you about Nic. | 但我需要通知你尼克的事 |
| [15:28] | Okay. | 好 |
| [15:31] | He left the facility today during free time, | 今天他在自由时间时离开了我们中心 |
| [15:33] | and he hasn’t returned since. | 此后一直未归 |
| [15:38] | I’m sorry, Mr. Sheff, | 很抱歉 谢菲先生 |
| [15:39] | but please don’t despair. | 请你不要难受 |
| [15:41] | This happens. | 这种事经常发生 |
| [15:43] | But I… | 但我… |
| [15:45] | I thought you said he was doing so well. | 我以为你说他现在进展很好 |
| [15:47] | You should think of this as part of the process. | 你应该把这看做康复的一部分 |
| [15:51] | Relapse is a part of recovery. | 复发是康复的一部分 |
| [15:54] | Relapse is part of recovery? | 复发是康复的一部分 |
| [15:56] | Yeah. It-it’s a part of Nic’s learning process. | 对 这是尼克学习过程的一部分 |
| [15:59] | Well, uh, that’s… | 这… |
| [16:01] | that’s like saying crashing is part of pilot training. | 这就好比说坠机是飞行员训练的一部分 |
| [16:04] | Look, he’ll be back, and probably really quick. | 他会回来的 可能很快就回来了 |
| [16:07] | Do you have somebody out looking for him? | 有人出去找过他吗 |
| [16:09] | It is not our responsibility | 他一旦离开这里 |
| [16:11] | once he leaves the facility. | 就不再是我们的责任了 |
| [16:12] | – Okay. – But he is welcome to… | -好吧 -但我们欢迎… |
| [16:50] | Excuse me. | 不好意思 |
| [16:52] | Have you seen a kid hanging out around here? | 请问你见过一个孩子在附近闲逛吗 |
| [16:55] | – No. – No? | -没有 -没有吗 |
| [16:57] | Okay, thank you. | 好吧 谢谢 |
| [17:45] | Wow. They don’t want to deal with that. | 他们肯定不想面对那个 |
| [17:46] | Hey, Dad, you want to smoke this? | 爸 你想抽这个吗 |
| [17:49] | Wait. What…? Stop. | 慢着 什么 别这样 |
| [17:50] | – Put that away. – We’ll smoke this together. | -拿走 -我们一起抽 |
| [17:52] | No, no, no. No. Are you cra… | 不不不 你疯… |
| [17:53] | – That’s crazy. – Well, I know you smoke. | -这太疯狂了 -我知道你抽 |
| [17:55] | – Y… Well, yeah. I… – So let’s smoke together. | -是…我… -那我们一起来抽 |
| [17:57] | No, no, no. Occasionally, like… | 不不不 偶尔… |
| [17:58] | – Look, let’s smoke to… let’s smoke together. – Listen. | -我们一起…一起抽 -听着 |
| [18:00] | – Or I could just… You know what? – No, stop it, stop it. | -还是说我…知道吗 -不 停 停 |
| [18:02] | – Stop. Stop. – I’ll just light it here a… | -停 停 -那我自己… |
| [18:03] | You know what? You’re right. | 知道吗 你说得对 |
| [18:04] | I’ll just light it here alone. | 我自己抽吧 |
| [18:06] | Don’t. Occasionally, | 不要 偶尔 |
| [18:07] | – from time to time… – Yeah? | -就是偶尔… -嗯 |
| [18:08] | I will have a hit or two at a party, | 我会在派对上抽个一两根 |
| [18:10] | but it’s been a while, so just… | 但都有段时间了 所以… |
| [18:12] | Oh, okay, so then just smoke… | 好 那就… |
| [18:14] | have-have a celebratory joint with your son. | 跟你儿子一起抽一根庆祝一下 |
| [18:16] | N-No. God, come on. | 不 天啊 拜托 |
| [18:19] | No. No, you’re amazing. | 不 你太棒了 |
| [18:21] | You got… you applied to six colleges, | 你…你申请了六所大学 |
| [18:22] | you got into all of them? | 结果全中了吗 |
| [18:24] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [18:25] | Stop doubting yourself. | 不要怀疑自己了 |
| [18:27] | Look at you. | 看看你 |
| [18:30] | Give me that. Give me that. | 给我 给我 |
| [18:36] | What? | 怎么 |
| [18:37] | Nice-nice hit. That was a good hit. | 不错 这口抽得不错 |
| [18:41] | – What? – Well… | -怎么 -就… |
| [18:45] | Thank you. This is a nice… | 谢谢 一起抽烟… |
| [18:49] | thing to do. | 感觉很好 |
| [18:53] | You did a lot of drugs, right? | 你以前经常吸 是吗 |
| [18:55] | I, uh… | 我… |
| [18:57] | Yeah, I did my share. | 对 我是吸过 |
| [19:00] | I experimented with some drugs. | 我是吸过毒 |
| [19:01] | I did. | 没错 |
| [19:05] | – But not harmless. – What, is this…? | -但不是无害 -怎么… |
| [19:06] | There was a guy, and… No, no. | 有个人…不不 |
| [19:08] | This is the lecture part? | 开始说教了吗 |
| [19:09] | – Right? – Yes. | -是吗 -对 |
| [19:11] | Dad, you worry too much, all right? | 爸 你杞人忧天了 |
| [19:12] | – Everyone does it. -Just be careful. | -大家都吸 -记得要小心 |
| [19:14] | It’s just a little pot. I’m just partying a little. | 就是点大麻 我只是偶尔嗨一下 |
| [19:17] | It’s just… you know, it’s just once in a while. | 只是…只是偶尔抽一抽 |
| [19:19] | Mm-hmm. | 嗯 |
| [19:20] | I deserve to party a little now. | 偶尔嗨一下是我应得的 |
| [19:23] | -“Deserve to party.” -I do. | -应得的 -是的 |
| [19:24] | Look, it just… it takes the edge off things. | 只是…让我放松放松 |
| [19:27] | It-it… it-it takes the edge off of stupid all-day reality. | 让我…从傻逼现实中解脱一下 |
| [19:35] | What is stupid about reality? | 现实怎么傻逼了 |
| [19:39] | You know, just like… | 就是… |
| [19:40] | like daily, stupid things that don’t matter. | 有很多无关紧要的傻逼事 |
| [19:44] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [19:46] | You cannot say dumb shit like that, | 你不能说这种傻话 |
| [19:48] | or you’re gonna start believing it. | 否则你会开始相信的 |
| [19:49] | Right. | 好吧 |
| [20:09] | 冰毒能让人的情绪快速改变 例如 吸食冰毒的人可能变得暴力易怒 | |
| [20:21] | Thanks for bringing that, Karen. | 谢谢你把东西带来 凯伦 |
| [20:29] | This is my home. | 这就是我的家了 |
| [20:32] | A couple of weeks ago, you told me | 几周前 你告诉我 |
| [20:34] | that you had only done crystal meth once. | 你只吸食过一次冰毒 |
| [20:38] | And the story has to be bigger than that, right? | 可是不止如此 对吗 |
| [20:41] | – Mm-hmm. – There’s more to it. | -嗯 -你没说实话 |
| [20:43] | Yeah? | 是吗 |
| [20:44] | David. | 大卫 |
| [20:45] | We need to know. | 我们需要知道 |
| [20:48] | We need to know. | 我们需要知道 |
| [20:53] | I think I always liked it. | 我一直都很喜欢 |
| [20:55] | What? | 什么 |
| [20:59] | Anything. Pot, alcohol, | 都喜欢 大麻 酒精 |
| [21:02] | Ecstasy, cocaine, LSD. | 摇头丸 可卡因 邮票 |
| [21:07] | And you’ve been doing all of that | 你已经吸食这些 |
| [21:09] | for what… years? | 很多年了吗 |
| [21:11] | A couple years, yeah. | 是有几年了 |
| [21:14] | And crystal meth? | 冰毒呢 |
| [21:17] | Just a couple months. | 只有几个月 |
| [21:20] | Wh-Why? | 为什么 |
| [21:24] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [21:32] | When I tried it, I felt… | 我吸的时候 感觉… |
| [21:41] | I felt better than I ever had, so… | 感觉比以往都好 所以… |
| [21:44] | I just kept on doing it. | 我就一直吸了 |
| [21:46] | I was worried that you were smoking too much pot. | 我还担心你吸太多大麻 |
| [21:50] | Meanwhile, you’re out doing every drug on the planet? | 可你却早就把地球上的毒品吸了个遍 |
| [21:54] | And hiding it and lying? | 还隐瞒 说谎 |
| [21:58] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [22:01] | – I don’t know. Um… – Why? | -我不知道… -为什么 |
| [22:03] | – Nic, tell me why. – Ease up. | -尼克 告诉我为什么 -别激动 |
| [22:05] | – I don’t know. – I thought we were close. | -我不知道 -我还以为我们很亲近 |
| [22:07] | I thought we were closer than most fathers and sons. | 我以为我们比多数父子都亲近 |
| [22:09] | Yeah, I feel like you’re always disappointed in me. | 我感觉你总是对我很失望 |
| [22:11] | You’re disappointed I didn’t go to college. | 我没去念大学你很失望 |
| [22:13] | Can you blame me?! | 这能怪我吗 |
| [22:14] | Just, uh, not too long ago, | 就在不久之前 |
| [22:16] | you were reading and you were writing, and you were | 你还看书写作 而且还 |
| [22:18] | on the water polo team. | 参加了水球队 |
| [22:19] | And look at us now. | 可是看看我们现在 |
| [22:21] | – Dad… -This isn’t us. | -爸爸 -这不是我们 |
| [22:22] | – This is not who we are. – Just, please, both of you, stop. | -我们不是这样的 -你们两个 拜托 停下 |
| [22:26] | Dad, I’m really sorry about everything. | 爸 对发生的一切我真的很抱歉 |
| [22:31] | Dad, I’m so… | 爸 我真的… |
| [22:35] | I’m really sorry, Dad. | 我真的很抱歉 爸 |
| [22:42] | Nic, what you have… | 尼克 你有的… |
| [22:45] | …you’re gonna find it again. | 你还会再找到的 |
| [22:50] | And you’re gonna get it back. | 都会回来的 |
| [22:57] | Ow. There you go. | 去吧 |
| [23:34] | Nic! | 尼克 |
| [23:46] | Nic! | 尼克 |
| [23:49] | Nic! | 尼克 |
| [23:53] | Nic! | 尼克 |
| [24:05] | Nic! | 尼克 |
| [24:21] | Hey, Dad. | 爸 |
| [24:24] | How’s New York? | 纽约如何 |
| [24:26] | Fine. Good. | 还行 不错 |
| [24:27] | Good interview today. | 今天的面试很不错 |
| [24:29] | – Nice. – How are you? | -那就好 -你好吗 |
| [24:30] | Oh, I’m-I’m doing good. Yeah. | 我很好 真的 |
| [24:33] | Yeah? You sure? | 是吗 确定吗 |
| [24:34] | Yeah. I don’t… well… | 嗯 我不… |
| [24:36] | What? | 什么 |
| [24:38] | It’s, uh… | 就是… |
| [24:39] | What’s going on? | 怎么了 |
| [24:41] | Uh, we had this great group session, | 我们有个很棒的治疗小组 |
| [24:44] | and one of the guys here was saying he would do anything | 其中一个人说他愿意不惜一切 |
| [24:46] | for a chance to go to college, but he can’t. | 换取上大学的机会 但他没机会了 |
| [24:49] | – Okay. – And when we were talking later, he said, | -好 -后来我们聊天的时候他说 |
| [24:51] | “You could still go to college. Don’t be an idiot. | “你还有机会上大学 别傻 |
| [24:53] | Go to college.” | 去上大学” |
| [24:56] | I don’t know, it’s just crazy. | 怎么说呢 反正很疯狂 |
| [24:58] | I realized I don’t think I should stay behind. | 我意识到我不该停滞不前 |
| [25:01] | I love writing. | 我喜欢写作 |
| [25:02] | And I feel like I’m good at it, | 我觉得我很擅长 |
| [25:04] | and I do it a lot, but… | 我经常写 但是… |
| [25:07] | obviously, there’s still a lot | 显然 我还有很多 |
| [25:10] | for-for me to learn and… | 需要学习的… |
| [25:14] | Anyway, um… | 总之… |
| [25:16] | I’d love to give it a go, if… | 我想试试 如果… |
| [25:19] | you know, if it’s all right with you guys. | 如果你们不介意的话 |
| [25:25] | Yeah. I’ll talk to Karen and to your mom. | 好 我跟凯伦和你妈妈说 |
| [25:29] | Back here. | 在后面 |
| [25:54] | Have you met your roommate yet? | 你见过你的室友了吗 |
| [25:56] | Yeah, he seems nice. | 见过了 他人好像不错 |
| [25:57] | He’s just in the hall. | 他在大厅里 |
| [25:59] | I feel for you, though. | 不过我很同情你 |
| [26:02] | Ouch. | 真受不了 |
| [26:04] | No worries. I’ll educate him. | 不用担心 我会教育他的 |
| [26:07] | Before you know it, he’ll be listening to John Zorn. | 先告诉你一声 他会听约翰·佐恩 |
| [26:19] | Well, I better get going. | 好了 我得走了 |
| [26:21] | All right. | 好 |
| [26:34] | – Everything. – Everything. | -一切 -一切 |
| [26:53] | So, this is a poem by Charles Bukowski. | 这是查尔斯·布可夫斯基的诗 |
| [26:58] | Uh, this man saved my life multiple times, so… | 这个人好几次救了我的命 所以… |
| [27:02] | “I changed jobs and cities, | “我换了工作和城市 |
| [27:06] | “I hated holidays, | 我讨厌节日 |
| [27:07] | “Babies, history, | 婴儿 历史 |
| [27:10] | “Newspapers, museums, grandmothers, | 报纸 博物馆 祖母 |
| [27:13] | marriage, movies, spiders…” | 婚姻 电影 蜘蛛…” |
| [27:17] | I want to see it, I want to see it! Oh! | 让我看看 让我看看 |
| [27:19] | “…garbagemen, | “清洁工” |
| [27:20] | – “English accents… – Nice. Go, go, go! | -“英式口音” -漂亮 继续 来来 |
| [27:22] | “…Spain, France, | “西班牙 法国 |
| [27:24] | “Italy, walnuts and the color orange. | 意大利 胡桃 橙色 |
| [27:28] | “Algebra angered me, opera sickened me, | 代数让我愤怒 歌剧让我恶心 |
| [27:34] | “Charlie Chaplin was a fake | 查理·卓比林就是骗子 |
| [27:35] | and flowers were for pansies.” | 鲜花是给娘炮的” |
| [27:42] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [27:59] | Come here. | 过来 |
| [28:35] | Where’s your bathroom? | 卫生间在哪里 |
| [28:36] | Hey, is there a bathroom I can use? | 我可以用一下卫生间吗 |
| [28:38] | Sure, honey. | 当然 亲爱的 |
| [28:39] | I’ll show you where it is. | 我指给你看 |
| [28:40] | Go right up, to the left. | 在上面 左边 |
| [29:54] | – Hey, Dad. – Hey, Nic. | -爸 -尼克 |
| [29:56] | How you doing? What’s going on? | 你还好吗 怎么样 |
| [29:58] | Oh, no, everything’s going great here, yeah. | 这里一切都很棒 |
| [30:00] | Oh, hey, thanks for sending the money. | 谢谢你给我寄钱 |
| [30:01] | I really appreciate that. | 真的很感谢 |
| [31:29] | Yeah, you always hog the fondue. | 对 你一直都霸占奶酪火锅 |
| [31:32] | Oh, uh, Patrick and Phil are going hiking tomorrow, | 帕特里克和菲尔明天要去远足 |
| [31:34] | so they’d like us to join them. | 他们想让我们一起去 |
| [31:41] | Are Jasper and Daisy here, by any…? | 贾斯珀和黛西在吗 |
| [31:43] | – They’re not here. -No? | -他们不在 -不在吗 |
| [31:45] | – No. – Oh, they didn’t want to see me? | -不在 -他们不想看到我吗 |
| [31:47] | – No, they didn’t want to see you. – Oh, that’s tough to hear. | -对 他们不想看到你 -真伤心啊 |
| [31:49] | Uh, well, I’m gonna just have a seat on this couch | 那我就在这个沙发上坐下 |
| [31:52] | and think about that, huh? | 反省一下吧 |
| [31:55] | Oh, my God! Oh, my God, it’s Daisy! | 天啊 天啊 是黛西 |
| [31:58] | Oh, Jasper! | 贾斯珀 |
| [32:00] | Oh, my God, you guys have gotten so much bigger! | 天啊 你们都长这么大了 |
| [32:03] | Oh! Oh, my God, you’re so…! | 天啊 你们真… |
| [32:07] | – Okay. – Denmark, 1632. | -好 -丹麦 1632年 |
| [32:09] | – Oh, no. – We… | -不 -我们… |
| [32:11] | Like to look back at the history of Hula-Hoops. | 回想一下呼啦圈的历史 |
| [32:15] | So important to, uh, the culture of peace and wisdom. | 这对和平与智慧的文化很重要 |
| [32:20] | Um, a man | 一个 |
| [32:22] | – named George… – Hoopulu. | -叫乔治的人… -霍普璐 |
| [32:24] | Was, uh… was, uh… | 他… |
| [32:27] | And he thought… | 他想… |
| [32:29] | “Well, I’m going to develop something that I…” | “我要发明一个我… |
| [32:45] | I was wondering, do you think I could use your car tonight? | 我想问问 今晚我能用用你的车吗 |
| [32:48] | ‘Cause I just… I want to go to a meeting. | 我…我想去赴约 |
| [32:51] | Oh. You got a meeting tonight? | 你今晚有约吗 |
| [32:53] | Yeah, sure. | 是的 |
| [32:58] | Y-You good? | 你还好吗 |
| [32:59] | Yeah. I just… | 嗯 就是… |
| [33:02] | – They’re crazy. – Yeah. | -他们太疯了 -是啊 |
| [33:04] | They’re really excited you’re home. | 你回家他们真的很高兴 |
| [33:08] | – I mean, I’ll see you in the morning, I guess. – Okay. | -明天早上见了 -好 |
| [33:13] | All right. | 好 |
| [33:38] | Yep! Mm! | 好的 |
| [34:02] | Where is it?! | 在哪里 |
| [34:04] | I don’t have it! | 我没拿 |
| [34:05] | Where is it?! | 在哪里 |
| [34:07] | I don’t have it! | 我没拿 |
| [34:08] | Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. | 孩子们 孩子们 |
| [34:10] | Where is it?! | 在哪里 |
| [34:12] | – Guys, guys, stop it. – I don’t know! | -孩子们 停下 -我不知道 |
| [34:14] | Stop. Calm down. What’s going on in here? | 停下 冷静 怎么回事 |
| [34:15] | She took my money! | 她拿了我的钱 |
| [34:17] | I didn’t. | 我没有 |
| [34:19] | Okay, all right. Come on, go downstairs | 好了 我们下楼 |
| [34:21] | – and see Mommy, all right? – You took them! | -去找妈妈 好吗 -你拿了 |
| [34:23] | Don’t, don’t, don’t. Stop, stop. | 别这样 停下 停下 |
| [34:25] | – I didn’t take it, Daddy. – I know you didn’t. All right. | -我没拿 爸爸 -我知道你没拿 好了 |
| [34:28] | Just go downstairs and have some breakfast. | 下楼去吃点早餐吧 |
| [34:30] | Hey, what happened? | 怎么回事 |
| [34:33] | They’re gone. | 不见了 |
| [34:35] | Okay. Are you sure you had it in there? | 好 你确定是放在那里了吗 |
| [34:37] | – Yeah. I had them yesterday. – Okay. | -确定 昨天我还看到了 -好 |
| [34:47] | Jasper’s savings disappeared. | 贾斯珀存的钱不见了 |
| [34:51] | Yeah? That’s weird. | 是吗 这就怪了 |
| [34:59] | Did you take his eight dollars? | 你拿了他的八块钱吗 |
| [35:03] | What? | 什么 |
| [35:04] | You heard me. | 你听到了 |
| [35:07] | Why would I? | 我为什么那么做 |
| [35:08] | It disappeared, and somebody has to have done it. | 钱不见了 肯定是有人拿了 |
| [35:11] | Right, so it’s me. | 所以就是我咯 |
| [35:13] | This is fucking ridiculous. | 简直太搞笑了 |
| [35:16] | Are you using again? | 你复吸了吗 |
| [35:19] | Am I using again? No. | 我复吸了吗 没有 |
| [35:24] | Are you high right now? | 你现在嗨着吗 |
| [35:26] | What the f…? No. | 搞…没有 |
| [35:28] | – Fuck you. – “Fuck you”? | -我操 -“我操” |
| [35:30] | Don’t talk to me that way. | 不许那样跟我说话 |
| [35:32] | Are you high right now? | 你现在嗨着吗 |
| [35:33] | No. | 没有 |
| [35:35] | You’re not using right now? | 你现在没有吸毒吗 |
| [35:36] | Are you using? | 你在吸毒吗 |
| [35:38] | No, Dad, I’m not fucking high right now! | 没有 爸 我现在没有吸毒吸嗨 |
| [35:41] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [35:47] | Listen, it was a gamble to send you to college. | 听着 送你去念大学是一场赌博 |
| [35:50] | Everybody supported it. | 大家都支持 |
| [35:53] | I’m glad that you went. | 我很高兴你去了 |
| [35:56] | Relapse is a part of rec… | 复发是康复的一… |
| [35:59] | Relapse is part of recovery. | 复发是康复的一部分 |
| [36:00] | – So we’re gonna get… – I better leave. | -所以我们打算带你… -我还是走吧 |
| [36:13] | David? | 大卫 |
| [36:15] | Just… where-where are you gonna go? | 等等 你要去哪里 |
| [36:18] | You can’t just leave. This is ridiculous. | 你不能就这么走了 这是在干什么 |
| [36:20] | – Come on. – Will you talk to us? | -别这样 -你愿意跟我们谈谈吗 |
| [36:22] | I mean, really… we just want to talk to you. | 真的 我们只是想跟你谈谈 |
| [36:24] | Why don’t… Try to help us understand. | 为什么不试着让我们理解你 |
| [36:26] | – Or just let us help you. – All right? | -让我们帮帮你 -好吗 |
| [36:28] | I don’t want your fucking help. Don’t you understand that? | 我不需要你们的帮助 你们还不明白吗 |
| [36:30] | – No. – No, you don’t. Jesus Christ, | -不是的 -不 你们不明白 老天 |
| [36:31] | then what the fuck is wrong with you, then, huh? | 那你们到底有什么毛病 |
| [36:32] | – What the hell is wrong with you people? – Nic. | -你们见鬼的到底有什么毛病 -尼克 |
| [36:34] | No! You fucking suffocate me. | 不 你们他妈的让我无法呼吸 |
| [36:35] | You fucking suffocate me! | 你们他妈的让我无法呼吸 |
| [36:37] | Whoa, it’s us? We’re the problem? | 你说我们吗 问题出在我们身上吗 |
| [36:39] | No. You know what, you’re the one who’s doing it! | 不 问题都是你造成的 |
| [36:42] | You’re the one who’s causing it! | 问题都是你造成的 |
| [36:43] | And you’re the only one who can stop it! | 也只有你才能让这个问题不再继续下去 |
| [36:46] | Fucking solve it! | 解决这个问题 |
| [37:16] | Fuck! | 操 |
| [37:18] | Fuck! | 操 |
| [37:50] | 没事的 一切都很好 | |
| [37:51] | 止痛药对人体有什么伤害 止痛药对人体有什么伤害 有什么伤害 | |
| [37:56] | 几个月过去了 你开始忘了你为何要保持清醒 我告诉自己我没有彻底失控 可我头疼 止痛药对人体有什么伤害 | |
| [38:11] | 我发现毒品会让我的世界 从黑白变成五光十色 我永远不可能放弃毒品 所以我只说那些他们想听的话 | |
| [38:30] | 我摄入的毒品越多 我做的令人羞耻的事就越多 然后我就摄入更多毒品来逃避现实 | |
| [38:49] | 在这很难搞到安非他命 找了点海洛因 | |
| [38:52] | 所以我只能继续下去 再也不回头 | |
| [39:13] | So, this is for the, uh, | 这次前来是为了 |
| [39:15] | New York Times Magazine? | 纽约时报杂志写稿吗 |
| [39:17] | Oh, no. | 不 |
| [39:19] | I’m a… I-I write. | 我 我是作家 |
| [39:20] | I freelance for different magazines, | 我为很多杂志写稿 |
| [39:22] | but this is… this is a personal matter. | 但我这次 这次是为私事来的 |
| [39:25] | – A personal matter? – Yes. I’m sorry. | -私事 -对 抱歉 |
| [39:27] | – Is that okay? – Uh, no, it’s absolutely okay. | -可以吗 -当然了 |
| [39:29] | May I ask what-what this is regarding? | 我能问一下是关于什么事吗 |
| [39:31] | Uh, it’s about my son. | 是我儿子的事 |
| [39:34] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [39:39] | He’s been doing all sorts of drugs, | 他一直在摄入各种毒品 |
| [39:42] | but he’s addicted to crystal meth, | 但他现在对冰毒上瘾 |
| [39:44] | which seems, uh, to be the worst of all of them. | 那是毒品里最糟糕的一种 |
| [39:48] | And I guess I’m here | 我来这里 |
| [39:50] | because I just want to know all that I can | 是因为我想知道我可以 |
| [39:54] | about all of it. | 对此做些什么 |
| [39:57] | So, uh, crystal meth, uh, | 冰毒 |
| [39:59] | gives the user a feeling of instant euphoria– | 会让吸食者产生即刻的欣快感 |
| [40:01] | at least, when he takes it. | 至少在摄入的时候是这样 |
| [40:04] | You know, but when it wears off, | 但当毒品在体内耗尽时 |
| [40:05] | with a depletion of as much as 60% of the dopamine | 会消耗人体内高达60%的多巴胺 |
| [40:07] | the user has to up the doses. | 吸食者就必须加大剂量 |
| [40:10] | He has to double it, triple it just to feel something, | 他必须用双倍 三倍的剂量才能有一点感觉 |
| [40:14] | causing even more nerve damage, | 这会造成更多神经损伤 |
| [40:16] | which, uh, increases the compulsion to use. | 使得吸食者有更强烈的冲动继续吸食 |
| [40:20] | Horrible cycle. | 可怕的恶性循环 |
| [40:23] | What’s up? | 在干什么 |
| [40:26] | Just doing some research. | 查点东西 |
| [40:56] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [41:04] | Are you hungry? | 你饿了吗 |
| [41:06] | You want to get something? | 想吃点东西吗 |
| [41:09] | Most guys just ask me for a blow job. | 大多数男人只会让我给他们口 |
| [41:12] | Oh, no. No, I’m just offering something to eat. | 不 不 我想给你弄点东西吃 |
| [41:15] | Maybe talk a little, if you’re up to it. | 如果你愿意的话 我们可以聊一会儿 |
| [41:18] | Meth changes the brain physically. | 安非他命会对大脑造成实质性的伤害 |
| [41:21] | Here we see the loss of dopamine receptors | 现在我们看到的是摄入冰毒的人 |
| [41:24] | in a meth user’s brain. | 大脑中缺失的多巴胺受体 |
| [41:27] | Now, I’m gonna show you something else here. | 我给你看看别的 |
| [41:29] | Do you see, uh, right here there are these two red, uh… | 看到了吗 这边有两个红色的 |
| [41:32] | – large, red spots right here? – Yeah. | -很大的斑点 -看到了 |
| [41:34] | Okay, what that shows is hyperactivity in the amygdala. | 这表明大脑中的杏仁体过度活跃 |
| [41:36] | And the amygdala is a region of the brain | 杏仁体是大脑中的一个 |
| [41:38] | that is linked with anxiety and fear. | 与焦虑和恐惧有关的区域 |
| [41:41] | Here the amygdala is screaming. | 这里的杏仁体在尖叫 |
| [41:47] | What this shows us | 这告诉我们 |
| [41:49] | is that there is a biological basis, | 从生物学角度出发 |
| [41:51] | uh, that meth users may be unable– | 摄入冰毒的人可能无法 |
| [41:55] | not unwilling, but unable– | 不是不愿意 而是无法 |
| [41:57] | to participate in normal treatment programs. | 参与正常的治疗计划 |
| [42:00] | I was in rehab, too. | 我也戒过毒 |
| [42:03] | Three times. | 三次 |
| [42:04] | Ran away every time. | 每次最后都逃走了 |
| [42:07] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [42:09] | It was hell. | 那里就是地狱 |
| [42:11] | Wanted to die. | 我想死 |
| [42:14] | Why was it hell? | 为什么觉得那里是地狱 |
| [42:16] | All that God shit. | 都整天扯什么上帝的鬼话 |
| [42:19] | Also, you just don’t know how good it gets | 你根本不知道毒品上头的时候 |
| [42:21] | when it gets good. | 是多美妙的感觉 |
| [42:23] | It’s hard to explain. | 很难解释 |
| [42:25] | Feels like cocaine | 感觉像可卡因 |
| [42:27] | but multiplied by, like, a thousand. | 但是刺激程度强一千倍 |
| [42:28] | Or, like, a million. | 一百万倍 |
| [42:30] | What does this mean for Nic? | 这对尼克来说意味着什么 |
| [42:33] | Look, Mr. Sheff, I… | 听着 谢菲先生 我… |
| [42:35] | I don’t know who promised you what, | 我不知道到别人对你承诺过多少希望 |
| [42:38] | but the success percentage is in the single digits. | 但是戒掉冰毒的成功率是个位数 |
| [42:44] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [42:47] | What about your parents? | 那你父母呢 |
| [42:50] | What about them? | 他们怎么了 |
| [42:52] | Don’t you think they’re worried about you? | 你不觉得他们会担心你吗 |
| [42:55] | Shouldn’t you… | 你不应该 |
| [42:58] | let them know that… | 告诉他们… |
| [43:00] | They don’t care. | 他们不在乎 |
| [43:02] | Well, I think they do. | 我觉得他们在乎 |
| [43:07] | What the fuck do you know? | 你他妈怎么知道 |
| [43:16] | I gotta go. | 我走了 |
| [43:18] | Oh. Okay. | 好吧 |
| [43:25] | Thanks. | 谢了 |
| [44:45] | God. | 老天 |
| [46:15] | I’m gonna try some Klingon on you. | 我要跟你说克林贡语 |
| [46:17] | Ready? | 准备好了吗 |
| [46:27] | – You know what I said? – May I have a Coca-Cola? | -你知道我说了什么吗 -我可以喝可乐吗 |
| [46:29] | Exactly. | 没错 |
| [46:31] | That’s it. | 就是这个 |
| [46:33] | That’s exactly what I asked. | 我问的就是这个 |
| [46:35] | Can I have a Coca-Cola? | 我可以喝可乐吗 |
| [46:36] | All right. If you ask me in Klingon, | 好吧 如果你用克林贡语问我 |
| [46:38] | maybe I’ll get you a Coke. | 我可能会给你买一杯 |
| [47:16] | This hasn’t changed at all. | 这里一点都没变 |
| [47:18] | This place. | 这个地方 |
| [47:23] | So, how you doing? | 你过得怎么样 |
| [47:24] | I’m doing great. | 我过得很好 |
| [47:25] | You know, just, um… | 就是 |
| [47:29] | just doing what needs to be done. | 做些该做的事 |
| [47:32] | What does that mean? | 什么意思 |
| [47:34] | Just being responsible for myself and… | 对自己负责 还有… |
| [47:38] | I’ve quit on my own, you know, so… | 我自己在戒毒 |
| [47:40] | I got five days now. | 已经五天了 |
| [47:44] | I feel like I’m doing well, but I just need, um… | 我感觉很好 只是我 |
| [47:46] | I just need a few hundred bucks, though. | 我需要几百块 |
| [47:49] | Nic, I can’t give you any money. | 尼克 我不能给你钱 |
| [47:53] | Yeah. | 好 |
| [47:55] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [47:57] | It’s just 200 bucks. I just need, um… | 我只要两百块 |
| [47:59] | I just need to get some shit together. | 我得整理整理 |
| [48:01] | I want to go to New York. | 我想去纽约 |
| [48:02] | – New York? – Yeah. | -纽约 -对 |
| [48:04] | I need to get out of San Francisco. | 我得离开旧金山 |
| [48:06] | There’s too many… | 这里有太多… |
| [48:08] | All these fucking bad vibes here all the time. | 总会给我带来不好的影响 |
| [48:13] | Yeah, I just need a few hundred bucks. | 我只要几百块钱 |
| [48:15] | Why don’t we just have lunch and talk? | 我们不如吃点午餐一起聊聊 |
| [48:17] | – We can do that, right? – Mm. | -这样好吗 -嗯 |
| [48:26] | How… how’s Karen and, uh… and the kids? | 凯伦和孩子们 他们怎么样 |
| [48:28] | Okay. They ask about you. | 还好 他们一直在问你的事 |
| [48:32] | It’s their step-up next week, and I know they’d love you… | 他们下周要升学了 他们肯定很希望你… |
| [48:35] | Dad, you’re, uh… you’re guilt-tripping me, all right? | 爸 你又想利用我的负罪感了 对吧 |
| [48:37] | No, I’m just saying… | 没有 我只是说 |
| [48:38] | I should feel horrible about myself. | 我应该厌恶自己 |
| [48:42] | I know they wanted you to be there, that’s all. | 我知道他们想让你在场而已 |
| [48:47] | I’m sorry, Dad. | 对不起 爸 |
| [48:48] | Um… I just need some fucking money, all right? | 我只是想要点钱 行吗 |
| [48:52] | So please just give me some fucking money. | 所以拜托你给我那该死的钱 |
| [48:53] | And then what? Where does this end? | 然后呢 什么时候才是个头 |
| [48:55] | This is… I got to see this one through. | 这是…我得试一次 |
| [48:56] | This is kind of working out for me right now. | 现在看来是有效果的 |
| [48:58] | – I got five days sober. – It doesn’t look | -我已经五天不吸了 -这看起来 |
| [48:59] | like it’s working out, Nic. | 不会成功的 尼克 |
| [49:00] | Oh, it doesn’t look like it’s working out? | 看起来不会成功 |
| [49:01] | – So what, then, therapy? Huh? – No. | -那然后呢 去治疗 -不 |
| [49:02] | – You can come home. – No. | -你可以回家 -不 |
| [49:04] | – That wouldn’t… – We’ll make it work. Please. | -那不… -我们可以的 求你了 |
| [49:05] | Nic. | 尼克 |
| [49:08] | Please. | 求你了 |
| [49:17] | – I’ve been doing some research. – Been doing fucking research? | -我一直在调研 -你在他妈的做调研 |
| [49:19] | – You got to be kidding me, Dad. – No… | -你在逗我吧 爸 -没有 |
| [49:21] | You think that you have this under control. | 你觉得一切都在你掌控之中 |
| [49:25] | And I understand how scared you are. | 我也知道你有多害怕 |
| [49:26] | I understand why I do things– it doesn’t make me | 我明白我为什么这么做 但是 |
| [49:28] | any different, all right? I’m attracted to craziness. | 知道原因根本没用 我只想疯 |
| [49:31] | And you’re just embarrassed, ’cause I was, like, you know… | 你只是感到难堪 因为我以前 |
| [49:33] | I was, like, this amazing thing, | 我以前就像是你的 |
| [49:34] | like, your special creation or something, | 骄傲 或是什么宝贝 |
| [49:36] | – and you don’t like who I am now. – Yeah? | -你不喜欢现在的我 -是吗 |
| [49:39] | – Who are you, Nic? – This is me, Dad. | -你现在是谁 尼克 -这就是我 爸 |
| [49:40] | Here. This is who I am. | 看吧 这就是我 |
| [49:50] | You don’t like what you see? | 你不喜欢眼前的我吗 |
| [49:58] | You know, the more I think about it… | 知道吗 我越想越觉得 |
| [50:02] | Mom should’ve gotten custody. | 当初应该让妈妈得到监护权 |
| [50:05] | Because you always gotta be fucking | 因为你总是 |
| [50:07] | controlling everything all the time. | 要时时刻刻控制我 |
| [50:09] | You’re allowed to be mad at me, Nic. I made mistakes. | 你有理由对我生气 尼克 我过去做错了 |
| [50:12] | I understand that. I wish that I hadn’t, but I did. | 我明白 我也希望能重来 但我做错了 |
| [50:15] | But, God, what you’re saying right now | 但是 老天啊 你现在说的 |
| [50:17] | – doesn’t make any sense. – You’re doing this right now! | -没有道理 -你现在还在这么做 |
| [50:20] | – You’re fucking controlling me right now! – It’s not you. | -你现在就在控制我 -这不是你 |
| [50:22] | It is not you, Nic. It is the drugs talking. | 这不是你 尼克 是毒品影响了你 |
| [50:24] | What does that even fucking mean, huh? | 这他妈是什么意思 |
| [50:25] | Psychological terror. | 心理恐怖 |
| [50:27] | – It’s what addicts do. – What the fuck | -毒瘾会造成心理恐怖 -你他妈 |
| [50:28] | are you doing right now, huh? | 在干什么 |
| [50:30] | What is this? What are you doing, huh? | 这是什么 你在干什么 |
| [50:40] | Oh, man. | 天啊 |
| [50:46] | I didn’t want it to go like this. | 我不想这样的 |
| [50:52] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [50:54] | I should go, Dad. | 我该走了 爸 |
| [51:00] | – Let me… let me book you a room. – No, Dad. | -我…我给你订个房间吧 -不 爸 |
| [51:03] | – At a hotel for a couple of nights. – No. Dad… | -给你在酒店订几晚 -不 爸 |
| [51:06] | – Why don’t we just go get some food? – Dad, I should go. | -我们吃点东西 -爸 我得走了 |
| [51:11] | Can you say good-bye, at least? | 至少跟我说声再见 |
| [51:12] | Bye, Dad. | 再见 爸 |
| [51:25] | Where does he sleep? | 他在哪里睡觉 |
| [51:27] | Um, don’t worry about that, sweetie. | 不用担心这个 亲爱的 |
| [51:30] | He’s fine. | 他没事的 |
| [51:38] | Maybe he has a friend and he sleeps there. | 也许他睡在他朋友那里 |
| [51:41] | – Dolphin. – Yeah. Maybe. | -海豚 -嗯 也许吧 |
| [51:45] | – Hope so. – Need “E.” | -希望是吧 -还需要E开头的 |
| [51:47] | Elephant. | 大象 |
| [51:48] | Can I call him? | 我能给他打电话吗 |
| [51:50] | No. I tried. | 不能 我打过了 |
| [51:52] | – His phone’s disconnected. – Can I send him a message? | -他的电话接不通 -我能给他发短信吗 |
| [51:55] | Maybe he’ll get lonely and turn his phone back on? | 也许等他感到孤独就会开机了 |
| [51:59] | That’s a good idea. | 好想法 |
| [52:02] | Yeah. Let’s try that. | 我们等等看 |
| [52:58] | Dave. | 大卫 |
| [53:00] | – Yeah? – Okay. Let’s go. | -在 -我们走吧 |
| [53:06] | Hey, Dave, close your eyes. | 大卫 闭上眼睛 |
| [53:08] | Okay. | 好 |
| [53:13] | And… open ’em! | 张开 |
| [54:17] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [54:19] | This is Julie Ford at the Bellevue Hospital in New York. | 我是纽约贝尔维尤医院的朱莉·福特 |
| [54:22] | Is Nic Sheff your son? | 尼克·谢菲是你的儿子吗 |
| [54:28] | Uh, Mr. Sheff, | 谢菲先生 |
| [54:29] | I’m sorry we missed each other earlier. | 抱歉没有接到你的电话 |
| [54:31] | So, Nic is still experiencing some respiratory depression, | 尼克目前依然会出现呼吸抑制的情况 |
| [54:35] | but his vital signs are returning. | 但他的生命体征正在恢复 |
| [54:37] | Sir, we’re ready for departure. | 先生 我们准备起飞了 |
| [54:39] | Okay, okay. | 好的 好的 |
| [54:40] | Um… may I talk to him? | 我能跟他讲话吗 |
| [54:43] | – No, that won’t be possible. – Sir, I need you to turn off the phone. | -不 不可以 -先生 请您关闭手机 |
| [54:47] | Believe me, we shouldn’t wake him up. | 相信我 我们不应该将他唤醒 |
| [54:48] | Try again in a few hours, though, okay? | 我们可以过几个小时再说 |
| [54:49] | – Okay. Uh, would you let him know that… – Sir. Sir. | -好的 那你帮我告诉他 -先生 先生 |
| [54:52] | – Please. – Would you please let him know that I’m on my way? | -请您关机 -请你告诉他我在过去的路上了 |
| [55:04] | He checked out. | 他出院了 |
| [55:05] | What? | 什么 |
| [55:06] | Against doctor’s orders. | 不顾医嘱 |
| [55:08] | – No, no, he O.D.’d. – I’m sorry, sir. | -不 他吸毒过量了 -抱歉 先生 |
| [55:10] | He pulled out the I.V. and catheter, and left. | 他拔掉了点滴和导尿管自行离开了 |
| [55:12] | How long ago? | 多久前 |
| [55:14] | Ten to 15 minutes. | 十到十五分钟前 |
| [55:16] | I’m sorry, sir. | 我很抱歉 先生 |
| [55:42] | Yes. | 喂 |
| [56:05] | Look, I’ve thought about it, | 我想过了 |
| [56:07] | and I’m done with drugs. | 我再也不碰毒品了 |
| [56:09] | This is it. | 到此为止了 |
| [56:13] | I’m telling you, Dad. | 我保证 爸 |
| [56:16] | I’m done. | 我再也不碰了 |
| [56:28] | And how would that work? | 那要怎么做呢 |
| [56:30] | I mean, after what just happened. | 刚发生了这种事 |
| [56:49] | Now, if you’re in the area, | 如果你正在当地 |
| [56:51] | evacuation orders and details, | 疏散通知和细节 |
| [56:53] | including relocation centers, can be found on… | 包括安置中心 可以在… |
| [56:55] | So, at 3:00, we have a conference call | 3点 我们和密西西比州 |
| [56:58] | with the intake people in Mississippi. | 负责安置的人有电话会议 |
| [56:59] | That’s all for now. | 就播报到这里 |
| [57:01] | 3:30, the one in New Mexico. | 3点半和新墨西哥州开会 |
| [57:02] | 4:00, the one in Oregon. | 4点和俄勒冈州开会 |
| [57:04] | I did some research on the one in New Mexico. | 我查了下新墨西哥州的那家安置中心 |
| [57:08] | They charge $40,000 a month. | 他们一个月收费四万 |
| [57:10] | You know, it’s not even that well rated. | 那家评分不好 |
| [57:12] | We’ll just skip that one. | 略过那家吧 |
| [57:14] | Listen, if a spot opens up here in Los Angeles, | 如果洛杉矶这边有个空余的床位 |
| [57:17] | maybe that’s the best solution for now. | 那可能就是最好的解决方案了 |
| [57:19] | – I’ll hear back from them in an hour. – Mm. | -我一小时内会收到他们的回复 -好 |
| [57:23] | Give it a rest, David. | 休息一下吧 大卫 |
| [57:25] | Why don’t you let me take over for now? | 不如让我来处理吧 |
| [57:34] | Dad? | 爸 |
| [57:36] | Yeah. | 在 |
| [57:38] | Will you check on me every 15 minutes? | 你每过十五分钟来看一下我好吗 |
| [57:42] | Yes. | 好 |
| [57:50] | *Close your eyes* | *闭上眼睛* |
| [57:54] | *Have no fear* | *不要害怕* |
| [57:57] | *The monster’s gone* | *怪兽已经不在了* |
| [57:59] | *He’s on the run* | *他逃跑了* |
| [58:01] | *And your daddy’s here* | *爸爸在呢* |
| [58:06] | *Beautiful, beautiful* | *漂亮 漂亮* |
| [58:08] | *Beautiful* | *漂亮* |
| [58:10] | *Beautiful boy* | *漂亮男孩* |
| [58:16] | *Beautiful, beautiful* | *漂亮 漂亮* |
| [58:18] | *Beautiful* | *漂亮* |
| [58:19] | *Beautiful boy* | *漂亮男孩* |
| [58:22] | Do you want to bring one of your dinosaurs, too? | 恐龙要带上吗 |
| [58:24] | *Before you cross the street* | *你过马路的时候* |
| [58:27] | How about a book? | 书呢 |
| [58:29] | *Take my hand* | *牵住我的手* |
| [58:31] | No? Okay. | 不要吗 好吧 |
| [58:38] | You ready? | 你准备好了吗 |
| [58:45] | Can I have a hug? | 给我个拥抱 |
| [58:47] | No? | 不要吗 |
| [58:48] | Why not? | 为什么 |
| [58:50] | Are you mad at me? | 你生气了吗 |
| [58:52] | ‘Cause you have to go? | 因为你必须得走 |
| [58:55] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [58:57] | Well… you’ll be happy to see Mommy, though, right? | 但是你见到妈妈会很开心 对吗 |
| [59:03] | I want you to know something. | 你要记住我说的话 |
| [59:05] | When you come back, I’m gonna be here… | 等你回来 我会在这里等你 |
| [59:07] | right… I’m gonna be right here for you. | 我会在这里等你 |
| [59:10] | Okay? | 好吗 |
| [59:12] | And call me when you miss me, and I’ll call you. | 你想我了就给我打电话 我会打给你 |
| [59:17] | Do you know how much I love you? | 你知道我有多爱你吗 |
| [59:26] | If you could take all the words in the language, | 世上所有言语加起来 |
| [59:30] | it still wouldn’t describe how much I love you. | 都无法形容我对你的爱 |
| [59:33] | And if you could gather all those words together, | 你把所有语句拼凑在一起 |
| [59:37] | it still wouldn’t describe what I feel for you. | 也无法形容我对你的感情 |
| [59:39] | What I feel for you is everything. | 我对你的爱就是一切 |
| [59:44] | I love you more than everything. | 我对你的爱超越了一切 |
| [59:49] | Everything? | 一切 |
| [59:51] | Yeah, everything. | 对 一切 |
| [1:00:27] | That’s my mom. | 这是我妈妈 |
| [1:00:29] | I’m really glad you came to L.A. | 你来洛杉矶我很高兴 |
| [1:00:32] | You know that, right? | 你知道的吧 |
| [1:00:40] | You just don’t know what it is to be… | 你不知道这对我来说… |
| [1:00:42] | – Please don’t do this, Mom. – Okay. | -请不要这样 妈妈 -好吧 |
| [1:00:44] | I’m sorry. Okay. | 我很抱歉 好了 |
| [1:00:53] | All I could think about was you. | 我满脑子都是你 |
| [1:01:01] | I know this must sound meaningless, but I’m sorry. | 我知道我怎么说都毫无意义 但我很抱歉 |
| [1:01:08] | I’m-I’m sorry. | 我…对不起 |
| [1:01:11] | Oh, Nicky. | 小尼 |
| [1:01:19] | You are such a darling. | 你是我的宝贝 |
| [1:01:21] | You know that, right? | 你知道的吧 |
| [1:01:44] | Hey, come on, old man! | 快点 老头子 |
| [1:01:46] | – You’re being so disrespectful. – I’m not being disrespectful. | -你太无礼了 -我才没有 |
| [1:01:48] | You’re being so disrespectful. | 你太无礼了 |
| [1:01:52] | – I’m coming for you! – Oh, motherfucker! | -我追上你了 -操 |
| [1:01:54] | Uh-huh. You about to look at my ass, baby! | 吃屁去吧 |
| [1:01:57] | You about to look at my ass! | 吃屁去吧 |
| [1:02:08] | Fuck. | 操 |
| [1:02:33] | That’s what I get for helping. | 这就是我得到的帮助 |
| [1:02:34] | Why’d you pull that hard? | 你干吗拉得这么用力 |
| [1:02:36] | – I’m sorry. – Why do you hate me? | -抱歉 -你为什么讨厌我 |
| [1:02:54] | How does this feel? | 你现在什么感觉 |
| [1:03:00] | Like I’m a real human being. | 感觉我是个活生生的人 |
| [1:03:12] | One day, I tried methamphetamine… | 有一天 我用了安非他命 |
| [1:03:15] | Yeah. That felt good. | 感觉真棒 |
| [1:03:18] | …and I thought, | 当时我想 |
| [1:03:20] | “This is what’s been missing.” | “我缺的就是这个” |
| [1:03:23] | I felt complete. | 我感觉人生完整了 |
| [1:03:25] | Today’s a good day. | 今天是个好日子 |
| [1:03:27] | Yeah, I’ve been chasing that high | 之后我就一直追寻着 |
| [1:03:30] | ever since. | 飘飘欲仙的感觉 |
| [1:03:32] | No matter… | 不管 |
| [1:03:34] | how much meth– | 我用了多少冰毒 |
| [1:03:36] | or whatever else I can find to shoot up into my body– | 或是其他什么我能注射到体内的毒品 |
| [1:03:40] | I do, it’s never enough. | 永远都不够 |
| [1:03:46] | And I went to a couple of rehabs, | 我去戒过几次毒 |
| [1:03:49] | I detoxed, | 进行了脱瘾治疗 |
| [1:03:51] | they would talk about disease, sure, | 他们说那是一种病 |
| [1:03:54] | but… | 但是 |
| [1:03:55] | it never clicked. | 从来没让我醒悟过 |
| [1:04:00] | Until one day I woke up in a hospital | 直到有一天我在医院醒来 |
| [1:04:04] | and someone asked me, | 有个人问我 |
| [1:04:08] | “What’s your problem?” | “你到底什么毛病” |
| [1:04:13] | And I said, “I’m an alcoholic and an addict.” | 我说 “我是个酒鬼 还是个瘾君子” |
| [1:04:16] | And he said… | 然后他说 |
| [1:04:18] | “No, that’s how you’ve been treating your problem.” | “不 那是你对待你遇到的问题的方式” |
| [1:04:22] | That’s right. | 没错 |
| [1:04:23] | I know now I need to find a way | 我现在知道要怎么样 |
| [1:04:27] | to fill this… | 来填补我 |
| [1:04:30] | big… | 身体里的 |
| [1:04:32] | black hole in me. | 巨大的黑洞了 |
| [1:04:39] | Anyway, so… | 不管怎么说 |
| [1:04:40] | I’m 14 months clean. | 我已经十四个月没碰毒品了 |
| [1:04:44] | I have a job at a rehab. | 我在戒毒所工作 |
| [1:04:47] | It’s fulfilling to help other people get sober. | 帮助其他人戒毒填补了我的黑洞 |
| [1:04:52] | I have a sponsor, Spencer. | 我有个戒瘾担保人 斯宾塞 |
| [1:04:55] | Shows me how great my life can be sober. | 他让我看到了戒瘾后的人生有多精彩 |
| [1:05:00] | And, um, I still have family. | 我还有家人 |
| [1:05:04] | My mom’s been amazing. | 我妈妈很棒 |
| [1:05:07] | My dad’s been amazing, too. | 我爸爸也是 |
| [1:05:15] | I want them to be proud of me. | 我想让他们为我感到骄傲 |
| [1:05:57] | You all right? | 你还好事吧 |
| [1:06:00] | What’s wrong? You nervous? | 怎么了 你紧张了吗 |
| [1:06:02] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [1:06:10] | Thank you for marrying me. | 谢谢你与我结婚 |
| [1:06:14] | Thank you for being a perfect partner | 谢谢你在这个不完美的世界里 |
| [1:06:16] | in an imperfect world. | 成为我完美的伴侣 |
| [1:06:19] | Thank you for introducing me to your amazing son. | 谢谢你带给我你完美的儿子 |
| [1:06:24] | Uh, I’m here for you, | 我会一直像今天这样 |
| [1:06:26] | and I’m here to stay. | 一直陪着你 |
| [1:06:28] | Karen, thank you… | 凯伦 谢谢你 |
| [1:06:30] | for loving me. | 爱我 |
| [1:06:33] | And thank you for loving him. | 谢谢你爱他 |
| [1:06:45] | Looks him square in the eye, and he says, “Superman…” | 直直地盯着他的眼睛 他会说”超人” |
| [1:06:51] | Perfect. | 完美 |
| [1:07:12] | – Hey, good to see you. – Good to see you. | -很高兴看到你 -我也是 |
| [1:07:14] | Hey, Daisy. Hey, Daisy! | 黛西 黛西 |
| [1:07:20] | Hey, Jazzy Jeff. | 小杰夫 |
| [1:07:22] | What’s going on, man? | 怎么样 小家伙 |
| [1:07:24] | Hey, man, I miss you more | 我比夜晚的太阳 |
| [1:07:25] | than the sun misses the moon at night. | 想念月亮还要想你们 |
| [1:07:32] | – Hey, Karen. – Hey. | -你好 凯伦 -你好 |
| [1:07:39] | Thank you for inviting me. | 谢谢你邀请我 |
| [1:07:41] | Seriously. | 真的 |
| [1:08:13] | Go, Daisy! Go, Daisy! Go, Daisy! Go, Daisy! | 上 黛西 快去 黛西 加油 黛西 |
| [1:08:15] | Go, Daisy! | 加油 黛西 |
| [1:08:17] | Hey, honey. | 亲爱的 |
| [1:08:22] | Go, Daisy, go! | 加油 黛西 快去 |
| [1:08:33] | Nice. | 好噢 |
| [1:08:38] | Oh! Ah, you! | 你给我过来 |
| [1:08:41] | It’s Daisy! | 黛西 |
| [1:08:56] | “If the marker is depleted | “如果安非他命成瘾者的 |
| [1:08:58] | in meth addicts’ brains, | 大脑中的标记物被耗尽 |
| [1:08:59] | it’s likely there is a loss of nerve terminals | 很有可能神经末梢会缺失 |
| [1:09:02] | and the brain damage is irreversible. | 脑损伤是不可逆转的 |
| [1:09:05] | However, when I tested for VMAT2, | 但是 我测试VMAT2药物时 |
| [1:09:07] | – I found normal levels.” – So that’s optimistic. | -发现指标水平趋于正常” -这情况很乐观 |
| [1:09:10] | – Normal levels is optimistic, yeah. – It’s… | -正常水平是乐观情况 对 -这.. |
| [1:09:13] | – It is. – Okay. | -真的 -好的 |
| [1:09:14] | – No. I’m not… – I was just checking. | -不 我不是在… -我只是再确认一下 |
| [1:09:16] | – No, no, that’s good. – Okay. | -不 这是好事 -好的 |
| [1:09:17] | Basically… | 基本上来说 |
| [1:09:19] | the fried… | 烧毁的 |
| [1:09:20] | Nic’s fried nerve endings | 尼克烧毁的神经末梢 |
| [1:09:22] | can grow back. | 可以再长回来 |
| [1:09:24] | They say it can take two years, but… | 他们说可能要花两年时间 但是… |
| [1:09:27] | – Two years? – Yeah. | -两年 -对 |
| [1:09:29] | But that’s great, David. | 但这是好事 大卫 |
| [1:09:44] | – You’re kind of late. – Yeah. It was a great meeting, | -你回来晚了 -嗯 互助会很不错 |
| [1:09:47] | and after, we went to the speaker’s house | 之后我们去了发言人他家 |
| [1:09:49] | and watched a video and… | 一起看了影片 然后 |
| [1:09:51] | saw my sober sponsee bros earlier, so… | 见到了我的戒瘾担保人 所以晚了 |
| [1:09:55] | No phone? | 不能用手机吗 |
| [1:09:57] | Oh, my cell was dead. | 我手机没电了 |
| [1:10:02] | Would you be okay to do a drug test? | 你愿意做毒检吗 |
| [1:10:06] | Yeah, I mean, sure. | 可以 做吧 |
| [1:10:08] | Okay. | 那好 |
| [1:10:27] | You understand why, right? | 你知道我为什么要这么做吧 |
| [1:10:30] | Yeah. I mean, I should’ve called to let you know, so… | 嗯 我应该打电话告诉你 |
| [1:10:34] | I trust you– we just need to have some sort of proof. | 我相信你 只是需要证明一下 |
| [1:10:42] | That’s about as contradictory as it gets. | 你这么说就太自相矛盾了 |
| [1:10:44] | – But… – I know. I know. | -不过 -我懂 我明白 |
| [1:10:49] | I’ll do it. No worries. | 我会做的 不用担心 |
| [1:10:51] | Nothing to hide. | 我没什么可隐瞒的 |
| [1:10:54] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [1:10:58] | Hey, you’re doing great. | 你做得很好 |
| [1:11:02] | You really are. | 真的 |
| [1:11:04] | By my count, 485 days clean. | 我算起来 有485天了 |
| [1:11:07] | Wow. Come on, that’s… | 这可真是… |
| [1:11:13] | I’ll just leave it in the bathroom, right? Okay. | 我把杯子留在卫生间 好吗 |
| [1:11:17] | All right. | 好了 |
| [1:11:19] | – Good night, Dad. – Good night. | -晚安 爸爸 -晚安 |
| [1:11:21] | – I love you. – I love you, too. | -我爱你 -我也爱你 |
| [1:11:54] | – All right, Jasper, you ready? -Yep. | -贾斯珀 准备好了吗 -准备好了 |
| [1:11:56] | Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go. | 走吧 我们走 |
| [1:11:58] | Hey. No, no, no, wait. | 不不不 等等 |
| [1:12:01] | – Jasper, I don’t want you to go out there. – What? | -贾斯珀 你不能去 -什么 |
| [1:12:04] | Mom, we won’t go far, I swear! | 妈妈 我们不过去很远的地方的 我保证 |
| [1:12:05] | The waves are too big. It’s too dangerous. | 现在浪太大了 太危险了 |
| [1:12:07] | But I am a great swimmer. | 但是我很会游泳 |
| [1:12:09] | I’ve been in waves way bigger than this. | 我经历过比这更大的浪 |
| [1:12:10] | Yes, I know that, but I don’t want you to… | 我知道 但是我不想你… |
| [1:12:12] | – Yeah, I’ll stay close. – Nic will stay close, | -我会跟紧他的 -尼克会跟紧我的 |
| [1:12:13] | you see? | 听到了吗 |
| [1:12:16] | Karen, I’m gonna stay… | 凯伦 我会 |
| [1:12:18] | – I’ll stay close. – Nic can go in. | -我会跟紧他的 -尼克可以去 |
| [1:12:20] | That’s fine. You, no. | 没关系 你 不行 |
| [1:12:21] | And that is final. | 不许再吵了 |
| [1:12:23] | We’ll see about that. | 看看到底谁厉害 |
| [1:12:24] | Okay. It’s fine. | 好了 没关系 |
| [1:12:27] | It’s fine. | 不去了 |
| [1:12:38] | Should we just play a game instead? | 我们还是去玩游戏吧 |
| [1:12:44] | Are you a hurfboard? | 你是冲浪人板吗 |
| [1:12:47] | – No. -No? | -不是 -不是吗 |
| [1:12:49] | Are you a hicycle? | 你是自行车人吗 |
| [1:12:51] | – No. – No? | -不是 -不是吗 |
| [1:12:53] | Okay. Uh, are you edible? | 你可以吃吗 |
| [1:12:55] | Not really. | 算不上 |
| [1:12:57] | – Not really? – Not really. | -算不上 -算不上 |
| [1:12:59] | So, sort of. | 这么说勉强能算 |
| [1:13:00] | So, um… | 那 |
| [1:13:03] | are you a house? | 你是房子吗 |
| [1:13:05] | Yes. How did you know? | 对 你怎么知道的 |
| [1:13:08] | You know, | 因为 |
| [1:13:09] | I can read your mind. | 我会读心 |
| [1:13:16] | I know you’re a great swimmer. | 我知道你是个游泳小能手 |
| [1:13:18] | I’m gonna be there to cheer for you at your next swim meet. | 你下次游泳比赛的时候我去给你加油 |
| [1:13:20] | How does that sound? | 这主意怎么样 |
| [1:13:21] | Yeah? | 说定了 |
| [1:13:22] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [1:13:25] | Hey, is it weird to see me after all this time? | 这么久以后再见到我感觉奇怪吗 |
| [1:13:27] | Or no? | 不奇怪吗 |
| [1:13:28] | I guess it was, at first. | 一开始有一点 |
| [1:13:30] | – Okay. – I thought you might be different. | -好吧 -我以为你会变得不一样了 |
| [1:13:33] | But you’re just the same old Nic. | 但你还是原来的那个尼克 |
| [1:13:53] | All right. Thanks. | 好了 谢了 |
| [1:13:59] | That was a great weekend. | 这个周末过得很愉快 |
| [1:14:04] | Bye, Nic! | 再见 尼克 |
| [1:14:55] | Go, Nic! | 上 尼克 |
| [1:15:25] | Bye, Nic! Bye, Nic! | 再见 尼克 再见 尼克 |
| [1:15:28] | Bye, Nic! | 再见 尼克 |
| [1:15:53] | One day at a time, man. | 一天一次 伙计 |
| [1:15:55] | Congratulations. Welcome to the real world. | 恭喜你 欢迎来到现实世界 |
| [1:15:57] | Oh, I don’t want to live in the real world. | 我不想活在现实世界 |
| [1:15:59] | I’m so sick of living in it. | 我厌烦了这样生活 |
| [1:16:00] | That’s your disease talking to you, man. | 你是因为病才会有这种感受 |
| [1:16:02] | – Oh, I’m trying. – By trying to isolate you. | -我很努力了 -努力孤立自己 |
| [1:16:03] | Trying to kill you. You know this, man. | 努力杀死自己 你明明很清楚 |
| [1:16:05] | I don’t feel like I have a disease, Spencer. | 我觉得我没有病 斯宾塞 |
| [1:16:07] | I feel like… | 我感觉 |
| [1:16:09] | – Well, you got to. – This isn’t like fucking cancer. | -你肯定有 -这不像什么该死的癌症 |
| [1:16:12] | This is my fucking choice. I put myself here. | 这是我的选择 是我让自己变成这样 |
| [1:16:15] | Yeah, you did. You did put yourself there. | 没错 的确是你让自己变成这样 |
| [1:16:17] | Are you gonna let me talk or what? | 你还要不要听我说完 |
| [1:16:18] | Okay? Like, you’re a writer, right? So write. | 你是个作家 对吧 那就写作 |
| [1:16:21] | You’re good at it. This is your day. This is a choice. | 你很擅长 你的机会来了 这就是选择 |
| [1:16:24] | – What do you want to do now? – Fucking… | -你现在想做什么 -该死的 |
| [1:16:26] | Once you get high, you lose all your choices. | 你嗑嗨了就会失去所有的选择 |
| [1:16:27] | – If you get high, you lose everything. – Right. | -如果你嗑嗨了 你就会失去一切 -对 |
| [1:16:29] | All right, so you got to keep choosing the right way. | 所以你必须一直选择正确的路 |
| [1:16:34] | – Right. – That’s right. | -对 -没错 |
| [1:16:36] | You choose the right way. | 选择正确的路 |
| [1:16:38] | Right. All right, hey, listen, | 对 好吧 听着 |
| [1:16:40] | I’m gonna give you a call later, all right? | 我等一下再给你打个电话 好吗 |
| [1:16:41] | Uh, I-I feel like I’m gonna do all right. | 我觉得我应该没事 |
| [1:16:43] | You blowing me off now? | 你要把我挂了吗 |
| [1:16:44] | You gonna call me and waste my time? | 你打电话给我就是来浪费我的时间吗 |
| [1:16:46] | Don’t waste my time. I’m here for you, man. | 别浪费我的时间 你有我呢 伙计 |
| [1:16:48] | You know what, look, I’m having some steaks tonight. | 你知道的 我今晚要做牛排 |
| [1:16:49] | Why don’t you come over for dinner. | 你来一起吃晚餐吧 |
| [1:16:50] | – All right, I’ll see you then. – You… | -好吧 到时候见 -你… |
| [1:16:52] | That sounds great. I’ll see you then. | 听起来不错 到时候见 |
| [1:16:53] | – Yo, Nic, Nic. – Yes, sir. I’ll see you then. | -尼克 尼克 -先生 到时候见 |
| [1:16:55] | – Nic… – All right, bye-bye. | -尼克 -好了 再见 |
| [1:17:54] | Nic Sheff. | 尼克·谢菲 |
| [1:17:56] | Lauren. What? | 劳伦 |
| [1:17:58] | What are you… | 你怎么… |
| [1:18:02] | Wow, it’s been a long time. | 好久不见了 |
| [1:18:04] | What-what are you doing here? | 你在这里干什么 |
| [1:18:05] | Just, uh… | 我… |
| [1:18:09] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [1:18:15] | I’ve been sober for a while, | 我已经戒了很久了 |
| [1:18:17] | but I’m seriously looking to party right now. | 但我现在真的很想疯一把 |
| [1:18:43] | I got what you need. We have E, we have pills, man. | 我有你要的 我们有摇头丸 我们有药 |
| [1:18:46] | We have E. I told you, I told you. | 我们有摇头丸 我就说吧 |
| [1:18:56] | Can you get me a cup of water and a spoon? | 你能给我拿一杯水 和一个勺子吗 |
| [1:19:00] | All right. | 好 |
| [1:19:20] | All right. | 来吧 |
| [1:19:21] | – Here you go. – Thank you. | -给 -谢谢 |
| [1:19:25] | Cotton and a spoon. | 棉花和勺子 |
| [1:20:03] | All right, that’s it. | 好了 够了 |
| [1:20:05] | That’s it. | 够了 |
| [1:22:38] | Your call has been forwarded | 你的电话已经被转到 |
| [1:22:40] | to an automated voice messaging system. | 自动答录系统 |
| [1:22:42] | At the tone, please record your message. | 请在滴声后录下你的留言 |
| [1:22:46] | It’s Dad again. | 还是我 你爸爸 |
| [1:22:47] | I feel like you might have been a little down | 你之前离开的时候我感觉你的心情 |
| [1:22:49] | when you left, Nic, so I’m here to talk if you need to. | 可能有点不好 尼克 如果你想谈谈可以找我 |
| [1:22:52] | All right. | 就这样 |
| [1:23:07] | So you have no idea where he is? | 所以你不知道他在哪里 |
| [1:23:09] | Uh, Spencer told me he heard from him. | 斯宾塞告诉我他接到过他的电话 |
| [1:23:12] | He was having a difficult time, but he was pulling through. | 他很不好过 但是他在努力 |
| [1:23:15] | But, yeah, he’s not at work, he’s not at home. | 但是他没有去工作 他没有在家 |
| [1:23:19] | – He’s unreachable on his cell. – Damn it. Damn it. Vicki, | -他的手机也不通 -该死 维姬 |
| [1:23:21] | he left here two days ago. Why didn’t you check on him? | 他两天前就离开这里了 你为什么不来看看他 |
| [1:23:24] | You’re supposed to be taking care of this kid, right? | 你应该照顾好这孩子的 |
| [1:23:27] | What the fuck, David? | 你说什么呢 大卫 |
| [1:23:28] | Who’s been taking care of him the last year? | 过去一年都是谁在照顾他 |
| [1:23:31] | Well, you could’ve checked on him. | 你明明可以来看看他的 |
| [1:23:32] | I mean, what the fuck is your problem? | 你到底什么毛病 |
| [1:23:34] | What do you think I do all day? | 你觉得我每天都很闲吗 |
| [1:23:36] | Besides, we can’t run surveillance on him 24/7. | 再说了 我们不可能每天24小时地监控他 |
| [1:23:40] | I think you need to go to the police right now | 我觉得你得赶紧去找警察 |
| [1:23:43] | and file a missing persons report, okay? | 上报有人失踪 好吗 |
| [1:23:45] | – Stop yelling at me! – No, I’m not gonna stop | -别冲我吼 -不 我就要 |
| [1:23:47] | – yelling at you, Vicki. – I hate it when you do that. | -冲你吼 维姬 -我不喜欢你这么做 |
| [1:23:49] | – Because you’re just… – You’re totally crazy. | -因为你就是个… -你真是个疯子 |
| [1:23:51] | What are you even doing there?! | 你到底都在干什么 |
| [1:23:52] | – Fucking unfair, David! – No, no! Listen to me! | -这他妈不公平 大卫 -不 听我说 |
| [1:23:54] | What are… | 你到底… |
| [1:23:57] | Damn. | 该死 |
| [1:23:59] | Fuck! | 操 |
| [1:24:08] | Dave? | 大卫 |
| [1:24:10] | Could you call my phone, please? | 你能给我的手机打个电话吗 |
| [1:24:16] | What’s going on? | 怎么了 |
| [1:24:18] | He’s gone. | 他不见了 |
| [1:24:21] | How do we even know he’s in L.A.? | 我们怎么知道他还在不在洛杉矶 |
| [1:24:24] | I mean, he could be in San Francisco. He could be… | 他可能在旧京山 他可能… |
| [1:24:27] | he could be in fucking Mexico, for all we know. | 他说不定都去墨西哥了 |
| [1:24:29] | I need to go. | 我必须要去 |
| [1:24:31] | Yeah, but I need you to stay. | 但是我需要你留下 |
| [1:24:33] | Well, Vicki can’t handle it like I… | 维姬没法像我这样… |
| [1:24:35] | I don’t care about Vicki. This isn’t about Vicki. | 我不在乎维姬 这跟维姬无关 |
| [1:24:38] | Okay, why don’t you just relax and try to be reasonable. | 你能不能冷静点 理智点 |
| [1:24:41] | – What? You be reasonable. – I am being reasonable. | -什么 你才理智点 -我就是很理智 |
| [1:24:43] | Is this reasonable?! | 这叫理智吗 |
| [1:24:45] | No! It’s not! | 不 这不是 |
| [1:24:47] | How can I be?! | 我怎么能理智 |
| [1:24:49] | My son is out there somewhere, | 我儿子不知道去哪里了 |
| [1:24:50] | and I don’t know what he’s doing! | 我不知道他在干吗 |
| [1:24:52] | I don’t know how to help him! | 我不知道怎么帮他 |
| [1:24:53] | You can’t! | 你帮不了 |
| [1:25:06] | I can’t sleep. | 我睡不着 |
| [1:25:12] | You can’t sleep? | 你睡不着吗 |
| [1:25:13] | I can’t sleep. | 我睡不着 |
| [1:25:15] | Okay. | 好 |
| [1:25:20] | Good night, Daddy. | 晚安 爸爸 |
| [1:25:23] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [1:26:02] | Let go! | 放手 |
| [1:26:04] | Airplane flying! | 飞机起飞 |
| [1:26:08] | Airplane! | 飞机 |
| [1:26:11] | Fly away! Fly! | 飞吧 飞吧 |
| [1:26:14] | Airplane! Push! | 飞机 推 |
| [1:27:20] | – No. Uh-uh. Come on, not you. Come on. – Hold on. | -不 你不许下来 快 -等等 |
| [1:27:22] | – Get back in. Guys, come on. – Hold on. Hold on, honey. | -回去 伙计们 来 -等等 亲爱的 |
| [1:27:24] | – Wait. – Good dog. | -等等 -好狗狗 |
| [1:27:27] | What’s up? | 怎么了 |
| [1:27:27] | I thought Nic was gonna be here today. | 我以为今天尼克也会来 |
| [1:27:31] | Uh, no. Something came up. | 不 出了点事 |
| [1:27:34] | Can I call him? | 我能给他打电话吗 |
| [1:27:36] | No, no. You can’t. | 不 不行 |
| [1:27:38] | It’s not gonna be possible. | 没法给他打了 |
| [1:27:40] | Why not? | 为什么 |
| [1:27:41] | Because it’s not. | 因为就是没法了 |
| [1:27:43] | Is Nic back on drugs again? | 尼克又重新吸毒了吗 |
| [1:27:50] | We don’t know, honey. | 我们也不知道 亲爱的 |
| [1:29:29] | All right. | 好了 |
| [1:30:25] | 尼克后来一周都没有回家 我们(他的家人)想要努力说服自己接受 “他只是个青少年” “青少年有时候会走偏” “他应该打个电话” “但他每次努力都会出事” 这是我第二次感觉自己分裂成了对立的两半 一半觉得自己愚蠢又多疑 另一半觉得肯定发生了什么可怕的事 | |
| [1:30:35] | 他有时候会给我发有趣的邮件 他比起通心粉更喜欢意大利面 你见到我儿子了吗 你见到我的漂亮男孩了吗 告诉他我很想他 | |
| [1:31:12] | Come on, Jasper! Whup. | 加油 贾斯珀 |
| [1:31:52] | You got it? | 拿好了吗 |
| [1:31:53] | Oh, fuck. Okay. Hey, Lauren. | 该死 劳伦 |
| [1:31:56] | – Lauren, let’s go. – What? | -劳伦 我们走 -怎么了 |
| [1:31:58] | We got to go. | 我们该走了 |
| [1:32:01] | – What’s going on? – Here. | -怎么了 -给 |
| [1:32:03] | We got to go. | 我们该走了 |
| [1:32:06] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [1:32:21] | I think I just saw Nic. | 我觉得我刚刚看到了尼克 |
| [1:32:24] | What? | 什么 |
| [1:32:26] | I think I just saw Nic and a girl running away. | 我觉得我刚看到尼克和一个女孩跑走了 |
| [1:32:35] | Nic. | 尼克 |
| [1:32:37] | Uh, no. Stay inside. | 不 待在里面 |
| [1:32:39] | – Okay. – No. | -好吧 -不 |
| [1:32:40] | All right, no. Stay inside! I am not kidding, all right? | 好啦 不 待在里面 我没有开玩笑 |
| [1:32:44] | Stay there. | 待在里面 |
| [1:32:49] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [1:32:51] | – Shit. – Never again. | -该死 -再也不来了 |
| [1:32:54] | – It’s okay. Hey. – What do we do? What do we do? | -没事的 -我们怎么办 怎么办 |
| [1:32:56] | It’s all right. | 没事的 |
| [1:33:02] | That was so terrible. | 太可怕了 |
| [1:33:05] | Oh, fuck! | 操 |
| [1:33:12] | Nic? Nic? Nic! | 尼克 尼克 尼克 |
| [1:33:30] | Oh. No. No. No. | 不不不 |
| [1:34:48] | Come on! | 拜托 |
| [1:35:18] | I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. | 对不起 对不起 |
| [1:35:46] | Okay. Okay. | 好吧 好吧 |
| [1:35:50] | 911. What is your emergency? | 警察 请问有什么能帮助你的 |
| [1:35:51] | Yeah. Hi. Uh, I got a f… I’m-I’m with a friend. | 你好 我有个朋…我在和我朋友一起 |
| [1:35:53] | She just O.D.’d, and, uh, | 她吸毒过量了 然后 |
| [1:35:55] | I need an ambulance, I need some help. | 我需要一辆救护车 我需要帮助 |
| [1:35:56] | Sir, do you know CPR? | 先生 你会心肺复苏术吗 |
| [1:35:58] | Yeah, I’m doing it right now. I just… | 嗯 我正在做 我… |
| [1:35:59] | Uh, we… You-you guys, you got to send an ambulance too, all right? | 我们…你们还得派辆救护车来 |
| [1:36:02] | What is your location? | 你现在在哪里 |
| [1:36:04] | Yeah, I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [1:36:06] | Y-You-you guys are gonna have to trace the call. | 你们得追踪这个电话的位置 |
| [1:36:07] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [1:36:09] | Hello? Sir, are you still there? | 喂 先生 你还在吗 |
| [1:36:13] | Sir? | 先生 |
| [1:36:18] | Sir? Sir? | 先生 先生 |
| [1:36:28] | Look up. | 往上看 |
| [1:36:31] | Honey, look up for me. | 亲爱的 往上看 |
| [1:36:34] | Can you look up this way over here? | 你能往这边上面看吗 |
| [1:36:38] | Hey, look, we’re gonna need to take you to the ER. | 听着 我们得送你去急诊室 |
| [1:36:40] | I-I don’t… I don’t want to. I-I… | 我不…我不想去 我… |
| [1:36:41] | – We need to take you to the ER. – I’m fine. | -我们得带你去急诊室 -我没事 |
| [1:36:43] | She doesn’t want to go to the ER. She’s… | 她不想去急诊室 她… |
| [1:36:44] | She’s… No, she’s not okay. We need to take her | 她…不 她有事 我们得带她 |
| [1:36:46] | – to the ER. – But she doesn’t want to go. | -去急诊室 -但她不想去 |
| [1:36:47] | No, sir, she needs to go! | 不 先生 她必须去 |
| [1:36:49] | Okay? | 好吗 |
| [1:36:51] | You have a problem with that, I can inform the police. | 你要是有意见 我可以告知警察 |
| [1:36:53] | Goddamn it. | 该死 |
| [1:36:56] | You’re gonna come and meet me, right? | 你会来找我的 对吗 |
| [1:36:59] | – Yes. Yes! – You promise? | -是的 是的 -你保证吗 |
| [1:37:00] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [1:37:03] | I love you, too. | 我也爱你 |
| [1:37:05] | – You promise you’re gonna meet me? – Yes, Lauren. | -你保证你会来见我吗 -是的 劳伦 |
| [1:37:07] | I’ll come fucking meet you. What do you want from me? | 我会来见你的 你还想让我怎样 |
| [1:37:09] | – Okay, okay. – Jesus fucking Christ. | -好吧 -上帝啊 |
| [1:37:38] | David Sheff. | 大卫·谢菲 |
| [1:37:41] | Hey, Dad. It’s me. | 爸爸 是我 |
| [1:37:45] | – Nic? – Yeah. | -尼克 -是的 |
| [1:37:57] | Please don’t hate me, Dad. | 请不要恨我 爸爸 |
| [1:38:01] | I know I did wrong. | 我知道我做错了 |
| [1:38:04] | I want to stop, but please, please, please, | 我想停下来 但是拜托 拜托 拜托 |
| [1:38:06] | please, please, please no rehab, all right? | 拜托 拜托 拜托别送我去戒毒 好吗 |
| [1:38:08] | Just let me come home. You know what? | 让我回家就好 行吗 |
| [1:38:11] | I realize it’s actually I… I-I need to be home. | 我知道其实我…我需要回家 |
| [1:38:15] | You guys, you guys are gonna give me the strength to stop. | 你们 你们会给我力量 让我停下来 |
| [1:38:20] | All right? | 好吗 |
| [1:38:25] | That’s not going to happen. | 那是不可能 |
| [1:38:36] | I wish that I could help you, | 我也想要帮助你 |
| [1:38:39] | but I can’t do that. | 但我做不到 |
| [1:38:41] | I c… I can’t. | 我…我做不到 |
| [1:38:43] | Oh, please help me, Dad. | 求你帮帮我 爸爸 |
| [1:38:46] | No, Dad. I just need a little bit of help. | 不 爸爸 我只需要一点帮助 |
| [1:38:51] | Please help me. I want to come home. | 求你帮帮我 我想回家 |
| [1:38:53] | All I can tell you is what you already know. | 我能告诉你的都已经和你说过了 |
| [1:38:56] | Dad, why aren’t you fucking listening to me? | 爸爸 你为什么就不听我说话呢 |
| [1:38:58] | – Call your sponsor. – I don’t want to talk to my sponsor now. | -打给担保人 -我现在不想和我的担保人说话 |
| [1:39:01] | I want to talk to you. | 我想和你说话 |
| [1:39:02] | Get help. | 找人帮你 |
| [1:39:04] | – I love you. – Dad, what… | -我爱你 -爸爸 什么… |
| [1:39:06] | And I hope that you get your life together. | 希望你能重新将你的人生拼凑起来 |
| [1:39:09] | I love you, too. | 我也爱你 |
| [1:39:10] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [1:41:41] | – Hello. – Nicolas called. | -喂 -尼古拉斯给我打了电话 |
| [1:41:44] | He sounds desperate. | 他听上去很绝望 |
| [1:41:46] | Gonna die if we don’t do anything. | 如果我们不做些什么 他会死的 |
| [1:41:50] | He’s gonna die even if we do. | 就算我们做些什么 他也会去死 |
| [1:41:53] | Nothing we do has any effect on him. | 我们所做的一切对他都没有用 |
| [1:42:02] | I failed. | 我失败了 |
| [1:42:03] | I know you feel ashamed, okay? | 我知道你觉得很丢人 |
| [1:42:05] | So do I. | 我也是 |
| [1:42:08] | But you have done great, David. | 但你一直做得很好 大卫 |
| [1:42:10] | And Karen, too, so thank you for that. | 凯伦也是 谢谢你们 |
| [1:42:13] | You were up for it when I wasn’t, | 当初我不在时 是你坚持下来 |
| [1:42:15] | and I’m not giving up now. | 我现在不要再放弃了 |
| [1:42:18] | Never. | 永远不会 |
| [1:42:21] | But I can’t do it alone. | 但我一个人做不来 |
| [1:42:27] | I need your help. | 我需要你的帮助 |
| [1:42:32] | I don’t think you can save people, Vicki. | 我觉得你救不了别人 维姬 |
| [1:42:37] | You can be there for them, can’t you? | 但你可以陪着他们 不是吗 |
| [1:42:44] | Look at this. | 你们看 |
| [1:42:52] | I’m done. | 我受够了 |
| [1:42:54] | Okay? I… | 好吗 我… |
| [1:42:56] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [1:43:29] | 三不原则 不是我造成的 我无法控制一切 我无法治愈一切 | |
| [1:43:32] | Hey, everybody. | 大家伙 |
| [1:43:34] | Time to get together. | 集合起来 |
| [1:43:51] | I… I had a rough week. | 我这一周很糟糕 |
| [1:43:56] | Some of you know, some of you don’t. | 你们有人知道 有人不知道 |
| [1:43:58] | I, um… | 我… |
| [1:44:00] | I lost my Frances this week. | 我这周失去了我的弗朗西斯 |
| [1:44:02] | She died of an overdose on Sunday. | 她在周日时死于吸毒过量 |
| [1:44:05] | So… | 所以… |
| [1:44:07] | I guess I’m in mourning, but I-I… | 我是在哀悼 但是我… |
| [1:44:11] | I realized something else. | 我意识到了一些别的事 |
| [1:44:14] | I’ve actually been in mourning for years. | 我其实已经哀悼好几年了 |
| [1:44:20] | ‘Cause even when she was alive, she… | 因为就算她活着的时候 她… |
| [1:44:22] | she wasn’t there. | 她也像是不在了 |
| [1:44:25] | When you mourn the living, | 当你为生者哀悼时 |
| [1:44:29] | that’s a hard way to live. | 那种生活太痛苦了 |
| [1:44:34] | And so, in… | 所以… |
| [1:44:36] | in a way, it’s-it’s… | 所以说这样… |
| [1:44:39] | it’s better, I guess. | 我想这样更好 |
| [1:44:45] | She was a dear, dear young woman. | 她是一个非常可爱的年轻女子 |
| [1:44:52] | I always felt… | 我总是觉得 |
| [1:44:55] | I needed to… to stay strong, | 我需要…坚强 |
| [1:44:57] | that there’d be some future event, | 以后万一有什么事 |
| [1:45:01] | and I’d… I’d need all my strength for it. | 我…我会需要我全部的力量 |
| [1:45:07] | But there are no events after this one. | 但这以后不后再有什么事了 |
| [1:45:09] | I hope she’s not in pain now. | 我希望她现在不再痛苦了 |
| [1:45:20] | Bye, Frances. | 再见 弗朗西斯 |
| [1:47:32] | How’s he doing? | 他怎么样了 |
| [1:47:34] | The doctor’s with him now. | 医生现在正和他一起 |
| [1:47:38] | He said it’s close to a miracle | 他说尼克体内有如此高剂量的毒品 |
| [1:47:40] | Nic survived with all the drugs in his body. | 还能活下来简直就是一个奇迹 |
| [1:54:42] | “Either peace or happiness, | “无论幸福还是安宁 |
| [1:54:44] | “let it enfold you. | 都请好好珍惜 |
| [1:54:46] | “When I was a young man, I felt that these things | 我年轻时 我觉得这些东西 |
| [1:54:49] | “were dumb, unsophisticated. | 非常愚蠢 简单 |
| [1:54:52] | “I had bad blood, a twisted mind, | 我生性顽劣 屡教不改 |
| [1:54:54] | “A precarious upbringing. | 就像个定时炸弹 |
| [1:54:56] | “I was hard as granite. | 我冥顽不灵 |
| [1:54:58] | “I leered at the sun. | 连太阳也不放在眼里 |
| [1:55:00] | “I trusted no man and especially no woman. | 我不相信任何男人 女人更甚 |
| [1:55:03] | “I was living a hell in small rooms. | 我在狭小的空间中过着地狱般的生活 |
| [1:55:05] | “I broke things, smashed things, | 我破坏 我打砸 |
| [1:55:07] | “Walked through glass, cursed. | 走过一片玻璃废墟 |
| [1:55:10] | “I challenged everything, | 我目空一切 |
| [1:55:11] | “Was continually being evicted, jailed, | 一直遭到放逐 监禁 |
| [1:55:14] | “In and out of fights, in and out of my mind. | 各种争斗 各种挣扎 |
| [1:55:16] | “Women were something to screw and rail at. | 女性于我只是泄欲和打骂的对象 |
| [1:55:19] | “I had no male friends. | 我没有男性朋友 |
| [1:55:21] | “I changed jobs and cities. | 我换了工作和城市 |
| [1:55:23] | “I hated holidays, babies, history, | 我讨厌节日 婴儿 历史 |
| [1:55:26] | “Newspapers, museums, grandmothers, | 报纸 博物馆 祖母 |
| [1:55:29] | “Marriage, movies, spiders, garbagemen, | 婚姻 电影 蜘蛛 清洁工 |
| [1:55:32] | “English accents, Spain, France, Italy, | 英式口音 西班牙 法国 意大利 |
| [1:55:35] | “Walnuts and the color orange. | 胡桃 橙色 |
| [1:55:38] | “Algebra angered me. | 代数让我愤怒 |
| [1:55:40] | “Opera sickened me. | 歌剧让我恶心 |
| [1:55:42] | “Charlie Chaplin was a fake. | 查理·卓比林就是骗子 |
| [1:55:44] | “And flowers were for pansies. | 鲜花是给娘炮的 |
| [1:55:46] | “Peace and happiness were to me signs of inferiority, | 幸福和安宁对我来说是低劣的象征 |
| [1:55:50] | “Tenants of the weak and addled mind. | 是弱者和废物的情感寄托 |
| [1:55:53] | “But as I went on with my alley fights, | 但在我在多年来于深巷中与人争执后 |
| [1:55:55] | “My suicidal years, | 考虑自杀后 |
| [1:55:57] | “My passage through any number of women, | 与各种女人相交相识后 |
| [1:55:59] | “It gradually began to occur to me that I wasn’t different | 我开始意识到 我和其他人 |
| [1:56:02] | “From the others, I was the same. | 没有什么不一样 |
| [1:56:04] | “They were all fulsome with hatred, | 他们都充满了愤怒 |
| [1:56:06] | “Glossed over with petty grievances. | 浑身开遍了微小的痛苦之花 |
| [1:56:09] | “The men I fought in alleys had hearts of stone. | 与我在暗巷中搏斗的男人们有着铁石之心 |
| [1:56:11] | “Everybody was nudging, inching, | 所有人躲在躲避 退缩 |
| [1:56:13] | “Cheating for some insignificant advantage. | 推却微不足道的冒险 |
| [1:56:16] | “The lie was the weapon, and the plot was empty. | 谎言就是武器 空虚就是计谋 |
| [1:56:19] | “Darkness was the dictator. | 黑暗主宰了世界 |
| [1:56:22] | “Cautiously, I allowed myself to feel good at times. | 我偶尔会让自己感到放松 |
| [1:56:25] | “I found moments of peace in cheap rooms | 我会在廉价的房间中寻得一丝平和 |
| [1:56:27] | “Just staring at the knobs of some dresser | 盯着梳妆台的把手 |
| [1:56:30] | “Or listening to the rain in the dark. | 或者听着黑暗中的雨声 |
| [1:56:32] | “The less I needed, the better I felt. | 我需要的越少 我就感觉越好 |
| [1:56:35] | “Maybe the other life had worn me down. | 也许是另一种生活让我精疲力尽 |
| [1:56:37] | “I no longer found glamour | 我已经不再能够从 |
| [1:56:39] | “In topping somebody in conversation | 口舌之争中胜过他人 |
| [1:56:41] | “Or in mounting the body of some poor, drunken female | 或者疼爱某个人生坠入痛苦的 |
| [1:56:45] | “Whose life had slipped away into sorrow. | 可怜醉女人为乐 |
| [1:56:47] | “I could never accept life as it was. | 我以前从来不会接受这种生活 |
| [1:56:49] | “I could never gobble down all its poisons. | 我从不会吞下生活所有的毒 |
| [1:56:52] | “But there were parts, tenuous magic parts, | 但是有那么部分脆弱的我 |
| [1:56:54] | “Open for the asking. | 慢慢接受了 |
| [1:56:56] | “I reformulated. | 我被重塑了 |
| [1:56:58] | “I don’t know when– date, time, all that– | 我不知道具体什么时候 这一切… |
| [1:57:00] | “But the change occurred. | 但这改变还是发生了 |
| [1:57:02] | “Something in me relaxed, smoothed out. | 我内心中有一部分放松了下来 |
| [1:57:05] | “I no longer had to prove that I was a man. | 我不需要再证明我是个男人 |
| [1:57:07] | “I didn’t have to prove anything. | 我什么都不需要证明了 |
| [1:57:09] | “I began to see things. | 我开始注意到一些事 |
| [1:57:11] | “Coffee cups lined up behind a counter in a cafe. | 咖啡店中柜台后摆放整齐的咖啡杯 |
| [1:57:13] | “Or a dog walking along a sidewalk. | 或者在路边散步的狗 |
| [1:57:16] | “Or the way the mouse on my dresser top | 或者老鼠爬上了我的梳妆台 |
| [1:57:18] | “Stopped there, really stopped there, | 站定 稳稳地站定 |
| [1:57:20] | “With its body, its ears, its nose. | 它的身体 耳朵 鼻子 |
| [1:57:22] | “It was fixed, a bit of life caught within itself, | 纹丝不动 却充满生机 |
| [1:57:26] | “And its eyes looked at me, and they were beautiful. | 它的双眼看着我 那么美丽 |
| [1:57:30] | “Then it was gone. | 然后又消失了 |
| [1:57:32] | “I began to feel good. | 我开始感觉很棒 |
| [1:57:34] | “I began to feel good in the worst situations, | 我开始在最糟糕的情况下都会感觉很棒 |
| [1:57:36] | “And there were plenty of those. | 而我经常会遇到最糟糕的情况 |
| [1:57:38] | “Like, say, the boss behind his desk. | 比如站在办公桌后的上司 |
| [1:57:41] | “He is going to have to fire me. | 他想要开除我 |
| [1:57:43] | “I’ve missed too many days. | 我太多天没来上班了 |
| [1:57:45] | “He’s dressed in a suit, necktie, glasses. | 他穿着西装 戴着领带 眼镜 |
| [1:57:48] | “He says, ‘I am going to have to let you go.’ | 他说”我不得不开除你” |
| [1:57:51] | “‘It’s all right,’ I tell him. | “没关系” 我告诉他 |
| [1:57:53] | “He must do what he must do. | 他必须要做他该做的事 |
| [1:57:54] | “He has a wife, a house, children, | 他有妻子 有孩子 有家庭 |
| [1:57:56] | “Expenses, most probably a girlfriend. | 各种开销 很可能还有个女友 |
| [1:58:00] | “I’m sorry for him. | 我很同情他 |
| [1:58:01] | “He’s caught. | 他被困住了 |
| [1:58:03] | “I walk out into the blazing sunshine. | 我走进耀眼的阳光 |
| [1:58:04] | “The whole day is mine, temporarily anyhow. | 至少这一整天暂时都是我的了 |
| [1:58:07] | “The whole world is at the throat of the world. | 这世界处于世界的咽喉 |
| [1:58:10] | “Everybody feels angry, short-changed, cheated. | 所有人都感到愤怒 不公 欺骗 |
| [1:58:13] | “Everybody is despondent, disillusioned. | 所有人都感到沮丧 幻灭 |
| [1:58:15] | “I welcomed shots of peace, tattered shards of happiness. | 我很期待一点幸福和平和的感觉 |
| [1:58:19] | “I embraced that stuff like the hottest number, | 我会想对待中奖号码 高跟鞋 |
| [1:58:21] | “Like high heels, breasts, singing, the works. | 乳房 歌唱 工作般热忱对待 |
| [1:58:24] | “Don’t get me wrong, | 别误会了 |
| [1:58:25] | “There is such a thing as cockeyed optimism | 有一个词叫”盲目乐观” |
| [1:58:27] | “That overlooks all basic problems | 指忽略所有的基本问题 |
| [1:58:29] | “Just for the sake of itself. | 只看待最好的方面 |
| [1:58:30] | “This is a shield and a sickness. | 这是一种护盾 一种病态 |
| [1:58:32] | “The knife got near my throat again. | 尖刀又逼近了我的喉咙 |
| [1:58:34] | “I almost turned on the gas again. | 我差点又去自取灭亡 |
| [1:58:36] | “But when the good moments arrived again, | 但是当美好的时刻再度来临 |
| [1:58:38] | “I didn’t fight them off like an alley adversary. | 我没有再像仇敌般与之对抗 |
| [1:58:40] | “I let them take me. I luxuriated in them. | 我让它们带走了我 我沉迷于它们 |
| [1:58:43] | “I bade them welcome home. | 我和它们说欢迎回家 |
| [1:58:45] | “I even looked into the mirror once | 我甚至还曾看向镜子 |
| [1:58:46] | “Having thought myself to be ugly. | 觉得自己变得丑陋了 |
| [1:58:49] | “I now liked what I saw. | 我现在却喜欢我看到的样子 |
| [1:58:52] | “Almost handsome. | 还挺帅 |
| [1:58:53] | “Yes, a bit ripped and ragged. | 是的 有点落魄 |
| [1:58:55] | “Scars, lumps, odd turns. | 伤疤 肿块 淤青 |
| [1:58:58] | “But all in all, not too bad. | 但总而言之还不算太糟 |
| [1:59:00] | “Almost handsome. | 还挺帅 |
| [1:59:02] | “Better at least than some of those movie star faces | 总比那些像婴儿屁股的电影明星 |
| [1:59:04] | “Like the cheeks of a baby’s butt. | 要好上一点 |
| [1:59:05] | “And finally I discovered | 最终 我发现了 |
| [1:59:07] | “Real feelings for others, unheralded. | 发自内心对他人的感情 |
| [1:59:09] | “Like lately, like this morning, | 比如最近 今天早上 |
| [1:59:11] | “As I was leaving for the track, I saw my wife in bed, | 我要去上班时 我看到我妻子在床上 |
| [1:59:15] | “Just the shape of her head there, | 只显露出她脑袋的形状 |
| [1:59:17] | “Covers pulled high, just the shape of her head there. | 被子拉得很高 只显露出她脑袋的形状 |
| [1:59:20] | “Not forgetting centuries of the living and the dead | 几个世纪的生死更迭 |
| [1:59:23] | “And the dying, the pyramids, | 埃及人死了 留下金字塔 |
| [1:59:24] | “Mozart dead, but his music still there in the room, | 莫扎特死了 留下他的音乐 |
| [1:59:27] | “Weeds growing, the Earth turning, | 大麻继续生长 地球继续转动 |
| [1:59:29] | “The tote board waiting for me. | 大把钱在等着我赚 |
| [1:59:31] | “I saw the shape of my wife’s head, | 而我看着我妻子的脑袋 |
| [1:59:33] | “She so still. | 她一动不动 |
| [1:59:34] | “I ached for her life, | 我渴望她的人生 |
| [1:59:36] | “Just being there under the covers. | 就这样躲在下面 |
| [1:59:37] | “I kissed her on the forehead, | 我亲了她的前额 |
| [1:59:39] | “Got down the stairway, got outside, | 下楼梯 出门 |
| [1:59:41] | “Got into my marvelous car, fixed the seat belt, | 坐进我了不起的车里 系上安全带 |
| [1:59:43] | “Backed out the drive. | 靠在座椅上 |
| [1:59:45] | “Feeling warm to the fingertips, | 感受温暖从指尖 |
| [1:59:46] | “Down to my foot on the gas pedal, | 倾泻到踩着油门的脚 |
| [1:59:49] | “I entered the world once more, | 我再次进入世界 |
| [1:59:51] | “Drove down the hill past the houses | 驶下山 经过那些 |
| [1:59:53] | “Full and empty of people. | 有人住或没人住的房子 |
| [1:59:55] | “I saw the mailman, honked. | 我看到了那个邮递员 我按了按喇叭 |
| [1:59:58] | He waved back at me.” | 他也朝我挥了挥手” |