时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:01] | Mr. Baxter, Nate’s French is really coming along. | 巴克斯特先生 内特的法语进步真快 |
[00:04] | Vive la difference! Am I right? | 进步万岁[法语] 说对了没 |
[00:06] | You’re right. | 没错 |
[00:07] | Ms. Perry… | 佩里女士 |
[00:08] | Looking forward to this month’s PTA brunch. | 期待本月的教师家长会早午餐哟 |
[00:11] | Gonna keep the potato salad out of the sun this time. | 这次别让太阳晒着土豆沙拉了 |
[00:13] | Hi. Sorry I’m late. | 抱歉晚了 |
[00:14] | Car wouldn’t start. Truck blocked me in. | 车启动不了 大卡车挡路 |
[00:15] | Lost my keys. Holiday traffic. | 钥匙丢了 节假日路上堵 |
[00:17] | – Well, as long as you have a good excuse. – Ms. Davis! | -你有理由就好 -戴维斯老师 |
[00:19] | I made my parents take me to a salon for a real haircut, like you said. | 我听你的话 逼我家长带我去发廊理发了 |
[00:23] | Good job, Victor. Much less DIY. | 好样的 糊味多 少自己剪 |
[00:26] | Ooh, okay. | 好嘛 |
[00:27] | Candles? Strawberries? | 蜡烛配草莓 |
[00:28] | Looks like we’re about to have sex in a Boyz II Men video. | 是要看着男孩天团的MV跟我做爱吗 |
[00:30] | Please. There’s got to be at least | 得了吧 这地方怎么也得有一个 |
[00:32] | one single, rich dad here | 有钱的单身爸比 |
[00:33] | that wants to talk about their kid. | 想跟我谈谈孩子的情况 |
[00:35] | We can have a one-on-one now | 我俩先单独聊聊 |
[00:36] | and then a one-on-one later on the floor of his home theater. | 然后在他家影音室地板上单独爽爽 |
[00:38] | What about the floor of a regular theater? | 去学校影院的地板上行吗 |
[00:40] | ‘Cause, you know, then I’d be back in this thing. | 完事了我还能赶回来 |
[00:42] | Wait. Why are you so late, anyway? | 等等 你怎么来得这么晚 |
[00:44] | I got in a fight with Abby, | 我当着全体网球队员的面 |
[00:45] | the manager of the country club, | 跟艾比撕逼了 |
[00:46] | in front of my entire tennis circuit. | 就是那乡间俱乐部经理 |
[00:48] | She tried to tell me that I wasn’t a member anymore | 她说 因为我好久没交会费 |
[00:51] | because my dues hadn’t been paid. | 已经不是会员了 |
[00:53] | – Oh, that bitch. – And I was like, | -真是个贱人 -我说 |
[00:55] | “Well, Abby, what do you think I’m doing here? | “艾比 我来这是为了什么呢 |
[00:57] | “Trying to find a man to pay those dues.” | “钓个男人给我交会费啊” |
[00:59] | Ugh, some people, right? | 她可真奇葩 |
[01:00] | – Yeah, some people. – And I was actually… | -是啊 真奇葩 -我当时想到… |
[01:02] | – really excited to… – Can’t believe people. | -要来这还… -居然能这样 |
[01:04] | Are you done? | 说完了吗 |
[01:07] | I was actually really excited to come here tonight, | 我想到要来这还挺激动 |
[01:09] | because this is a place where people actually respect me. | 因为只有这里有人尊重我 |
[01:12] | This is Ms. Davis. | 这是戴维斯老师 |
[01:14] | She’s the most fun teacher I’ve ever had. | 是我见过最有意思的老师 |
[01:16] | Oh, Harper loves your class. | 哈珀超爱上你的课 |
[01:18] | It was so cool when you had them melt the gold jewelry. | 你教他们融化金首饰那节课真棒 |
[01:21] | What a fun way to learn about the Gold Rush. | 寓教于乐地学淘金热 |
[01:23] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
[01:24] | Are we getting any of that back? | 首饰还要的回来吗 |
[01:25] | So nice meeting you! | 好走不送 |
[01:27] | – Bye, Ms. D. – Bye. | -老师再见 -再见 |
[01:31] | I mean… I’m like a god here. | 姐姐我…真是跟神仙一样 |
[01:33] | Totally. | 绝对的 |
[01:35] | Totally. | 妥妥的 |
[01:36] | A jazz band? | 爵士乐队吗 |
[01:38] | Hey, this is a classy open house, Carl. | 这招待会挺有品位啊 |
[01:40] | Well, it needs to be. | 必须这样 |
[01:42] | ‘Cause these parents are breathing down my neck. | 这些家长烦死我了 |
[01:45] | Tonight I need them to focus on the positive | 今晚我要他们想些积极的事 |
[01:47] | and not on the fact that these basketballs | 不能总想篮球是橙色的躲避球 |
[01:49] | are dodgeballs painted orange. | 这种消极的事实 |
[01:51] | Yeah. Well, the smoked Gouda is amazing. | 烟熏高达奶酪可好吃了 |
[01:54] | Ooh, fun fact. | 其实呢 |
[01:55] | It’s regular Gouda that I browned | 那是我把普通高达奶酪 |
[01:56] | in my roommate Ron’s toaster oven. | 放在室友罗恩的烤箱里烤变色的 |
[01:58] | That’s what gives it the smoky flavor. | 所以才有烟熏味 |
[01:59] | And the bagel seeds. | 还有罂粟籽 |
[02:02] | Big money to win is… | 谁来送钱呢… |
[02:03] | Hi. I’m Keith’s dad, | 你好 我是基斯的父亲 |
[02:05] | – Mr. Mueller. – Hi. | -我姓穆勒 -你好 |
[02:07] | Would you like a strawberry? | 想吃草莓吗 |
[02:09] | Oh, sure. | 当然 |
[02:10] | And maybe one for my wife. | 再替我老婆拿一粒 |
[02:13] | Okay. You can go. | 好了 走吧 |
[02:16] | Ugh. It’s like everyone’s married. | 怎么大家都结婚了 |
[02:18] | Oh, no, no, no, no. | 不 不不不不 |
[02:20] | We’re Victor Hu’s moms. | 我们是糊味多的母亲 |
[02:21] | Kid’s a genius. Thanks for coming by. | 这孩子可聪明了 再会 |
[02:23] | But he’s not meeting his potential. | 可他的潜力没完全发挥 |
[02:25] | Well, no one is. Too much TV. | 大家都没发挥出来 电视看太多 |
[02:26] | Okay, good chat. Glad you came. | 聊得好开心 再见了 |
[02:28] | Victor loves you. | 糊味多超爱你 |
[02:29] | – Apparently, you give him a lot of fashion advice. – Yeah. | -你给了他不少时尚建议吧 -是啊 |
[02:31] | But you don’t challenge him academically. | 可学业上对他的鞭策还不够 |
[02:34] | He says you show a lot of movies. | 他说你经常放电影 |
[02:36] | I like to make learning entertaining. | 寓教于乐嘛 |
[02:38] | It’s not a smart way to educate. | 这样教书可不好 |
[02:40] | Everybody else seems to like it. | 其他人都挺喜欢呢 |
[02:42] | Well, we’re doctors. | 我们都是医生 |
[02:44] | Oh… Doctors. | 医生呢 |
[02:47] | How long have you been trying to get that out? | 憋了这么久才说出来吗 |
[02:49] | It’s on our name tags. | 名牌上有 |
[02:51] | We just want to make sure Victor has good teachers. | 我们只希望糊味多的老师都很优秀 |
[02:53] | He does. Trust me. | 是很优秀 相信我 |
[02:55] | Every parent here adores me. | 每个家长都喜欢我 |
[02:57] | For melting down their gold? | 教他们熔化金子吗 |
[02:59] | It’s called hands-on learning, Doctors. | 这叫实践教学法 医生们 |
[03:05] | Sorry, Carl, I gotta leave early. | 抱歉 卡尔 得提前走 |
[03:06] | – But we still have three hours left. – Lady business. | -可是还有三个小时呢 -女人的事女人办 |
[03:09] | Poor kid. | 真可怜 |
[03:11] | Third time this month. | 这个月第三次了 |
[03:46] | It’s not that bad. | 还不算糟糕 |
[03:55] | Joel! Doug Pilaf. | 乔尔 道格·皮拉夫 |
[03:57] | – Math department. – Math department. | -教数学的 -教数学的 |
[03:58] | Uh, I hate to bug you, but… | 我不想烦你 可是… |
[04:00] | Listen, I know I still owe you those 50 bones, | 我知道我借了你50块骨头 |
[04:02] | but I was able to pre-order the next Halo, so thank you. | 但我预订到了下一代《光晕》 谢了啊 |
[04:05] | Wait. You said it was an emergency. | 等等 你说是借去急用 |
[04:07] | Oh, my gosh, no… It was an emergency. | 我的天 是急用啊 |
[04:09] | Yeah, you have to pay when you pre-order. | 预订的时候得付钱啊 |
[04:11] | You should come over and play sometime. | 没事过来玩玩 |
[04:13] | Oh. I’ll ask my wife. | 我问问老婆 |
[04:15] | Look, I don’t quite have the funds | 我现在是没有钱还你 |
[04:16] | to repay you just yet, but I do have | 可我有一只熊掌 |
[04:18] | a bear claw with your name on it. | 上面有你的名字呢 |
[04:20] | Glaze is still melty. | 蛋浆一会就化了 |
[04:22] | Oh, well, my… My wife doesn’t like me to have sweets | 那个 我老婆不让我吃甜食 |
[04:24] | on account of how hyper I get. | 因为吃了会亢奋 |
[04:26] | I won’t tell if you don’t. | 你能控制住我就不告发 |
[04:30] | So, uh… We cool? | 那就..没事了 |
[04:31] | Yeah, we’re cool. | 没事了 |
[04:33] | This is really gonna hit the spot. | 这东西正和我心意 |
[04:35] | Thanks, math department. | 谢了 教数学的 |
[04:37] | Hey, I heard you got into it | 听说昨天 |
[04:38] | with the Hu ladies last night. | 你遭遇糊味多的俩妈了 |
[04:39] | Those stupid tiger moms | 两个蠢蛋虎妈 |
[04:42] | were so disrespectful to me. | 居然对我不敬 |
[04:44] | It’s like they think just because they’re doctors, | 好像觉得自己是医生 |
[04:45] | they’re better than everyone else. | 就比其他人都强 |
[04:47] | Let me tell you something. | 告诉你 |
[04:48] | I’ve known a lot of doctors. | 我认识的医生多了 |
[04:50] | They’re just like us. | 跟咱们没什么区别 |
[04:51] | They put their pants on after sex one leg at a time. | 完事之后内裤也只能一条腿一条腿地穿 |
[04:54] | Man, every day’s a gift with you. | 你还真是充满惊喜 |
[04:56] | It’s bad enough I get no respect | 之前那段生活 |
[04:57] | from people in my old life, | 认识的人都不尊重我 |
[04:58] | and now I get no respect | 现在这糟糕的生活 |
[05:00] | from people in my horrible new life. | 人们也不尊重我 |
[05:01] | Meredith Davis, | 梅瑞迪丝·戴维斯 |
[05:02] | please report to my office. Principal Carl’s office. | 请来我的办公室 卡尔校长的办公室 |
[05:07] | I am Principal Carl. | 我是卡尔校长 |
[05:09] | Now what? | 又什么事 |
[05:11] | I would really… | 我不介意你… |
[05:14] | Dr. Hu and I would like Meredith fired. | 糊医生和我建议你炒了梅瑞迪丝 |
[05:16] | Meredith! | 梅瑞迪丝 |
[05:17] | Do you remember the Doctors Hu from the open house? | 还记得招待会上的两位糊医生吧 |
[05:20] | Yeah, I could never forget | 记得 超级自信的女人 |
[05:21] | an overly-confident woman in UGGs, | 还穿着UGG 怎么能忘 |
[05:23] | never mind two. | 而且还是两位 |
[05:24] | Such funny language. | 妙语连珠啊 |
[05:26] | Perhaps it was this robust sense of humor | 也许就是这种生猛的幽默感 |
[05:28] | that these good folks misinterpreted | 在招待会上被两位好心人 |
[05:31] | as “rude indifference” at the open house. | 误解成了”粗鲁冷漠” |
[05:34] | Nothing that can’t be cleared up | 握个手 道个歉 |
[05:35] | with a firm handshake and an apology. Meredith, what do you say? | 什么错都可以不算 怎么样 梅瑞迪丝 |
[05:38] | – To what? – Apologize to the Hu’s. | -什么怎么样 -向两位糊夫人道歉 |
[05:40] | To the Hu’s? No, it should be from the Hu’s. | 向她们俩 是她们向我道歉吧 |
[05:42] | Could you excuse us for a moment, ladies? | 不好意思 出去一下 |
[05:45] | And that’s inappropriate attire. | 你穿的衣服也不合适 |
[05:48] | Dude, you gotta bounce these chicks. | 哥们 快弄走这俩妞 |
[05:49] | They’re totally talking down to me. | 她俩老说我坏话 |
[05:51] | Welcome to working with parents. You need to apologize, Meredith. | 跟家长打交道就是这样 你得道歉 梅瑞迪丝 |
[05:53] | Carl, we’re friends, so trust me on this. | 卡尔 咱是朋友 相信我 |
[05:55] | Those Bond villains are trying to destroy me. | 那俩八婆想毁了我 |
[05:57] | You gotta have my back on this. | 你得支持我 |
[05:58] | I acknowledge that most of the time | 我知道平时呢 |
[06:00] | you and I are a sassy, fun-loving duo, | 咱俩是欢快的二重唱 |
[06:02] | but in this instance, I need you to have my back | 但现在 你得支持我 |
[06:04] | and tell the Hu’s you’re sorry so we can all move on! | 跟两位糊夫人道歉 赶紧翻过这页 |
[06:06] | Why would I apologize to them? | 我为什么道歉 |
[06:07] | I didn’t do anything wrong. | 我又没做错事 |
[06:09] | They’re trying to act like they’re the boss of me. Nobody is the boss of me. | 她俩装得跟我老板似的 我可没有老板 |
[06:11] | I am literally the boss of you! | 我就是你老板 |
[06:13] | – I am not gonna do this. – I am telling you, you have to do this! | -我不干 -没得商量 必须干 |
[06:14] | Oh, just suck it up and lie, for God’s sake! | 装个孙子撒个谎能怎么样 |
[06:17] | Don’t lie on our account. | 别为了我俩撒谎 |
[06:18] | Oh, everyone, stay calm. | 大家别激动 |
[06:19] | Here, have a butterscotch candy. | 来 吃块牛油糖 |
[06:21] | Oh, don’t mind if I do. | 好呀 |
[06:23] | We’re leaving. | 我们走了 |
[06:24] | Wait, wait, wait. Mrs. and Mrs. Drs. Hu, | 等等 两位糊夫人博士 |
[06:26] | uh, I apologize for both of us. | 我代表我们两个道歉 |
[06:36] | You’re welcome. | 不用谢 |
[06:41] | – Can I have another one? – No, you may not. | -还能再吃一个吗 -不行 |
[06:47] | That mocha latte smells mocha-tastic, Doris. | 这摩卡拿铁闻着真棒 多瑞丝 |
[06:50] | How about a little love for the home team? | 照顾兄弟点怎么样 |
[06:53] | Attention, faculty! | 各位请注意 |
[06:55] | While Kim was vacuuming my rental car, | 金姆给我租来的车搞卫生时 |
[06:57] | she made an unsettling discovery. | 发现了一件不得了的事 |
[06:59] | Do not vacuum the change holder with the change in it. | 零钱匣里有零钱时别用吸尘器 |
[07:03] | There was a scuff. | 车磨损了 |
[07:04] | A scratch. | 刮花了 |
[07:06] | On the rear quarter panel. | 后保险杠上 |
[07:08] | You will have difficulty | 可惜肇事者留的便条 |
[07:09] | seeing the note the driver left, | 怎么也找不到 |
[07:11] | because there wasn’t one. | 因为他做好事没留名 |
[07:13] | The world is going to hell. | 这世界真是没救了 |
[07:15] | Absolute hell. | 没救了 |
[07:16] | Don’t let Kim’s double thumbs-up in the photos fool you. | 别看金姆摆了个剪刀手 |
[07:19] | This is a serious situation. | 这件事很严重 |
[07:22] | The inconsiderate coward who did this will likely never come forward. | 干这事的胆小鬼最好别让我逮到 |
[07:28] | My bad, Ginny. | 我的错 金妮 |
[07:29] | I guess I forgot to leave a note. | 我忘留便条了 |
[07:30] | But you know what will help is some of that | 但是告诉你 多瑞丝今天这摩卡拿铁 |
[07:32] | delicious mocha latte that Doris brought in. | 绝对能帮你忙 |
[07:34] | Check this out. | 来尝点 |
[07:37] | I… I love his face. | 他长得帅 |
[07:39] | Coffee won’t make this better. | 喝咖啡有屁用 |
[07:42] | I looked into the eyes of the man at the rental car counter, | 在租车行 我看着前台接待的眼睛 |
[07:45] | and I promised him that I would take care of that subcompact vehicle. | 向他保证我会照看好这辆小汽车 |
[07:49] | Hey, don’t you worry. I will do everything it takes to make this right. | 别担心 我一定尽力给你弄好 |
[07:53] | You should ask him to do whatever it takes to make it wrong. | 你该叫他尽力给你弄坏 |
[07:57] | Doris! | 多瑞丝 |
[07:58] | It’s not even lunchtime. Behave. | 还没吃午饭呢 别闹 |
[08:00] | Ginny, don’t worry another second, okay? | 金妮 不用担心 好吗 |
[08:01] | I got you covered. | 交给我吧 |
[08:03] | See, he’s a good guy. | 看到没 他真好 |
[08:04] | Who doesn’t love coffee? | 谁不想喝咖啡呢 |
[08:06] | He’s such a good guy. | 真是个好小伙 |
[08:07] | I don’t know what you’re so stressed out about. | 你这么紧张干什么 |
[08:08] | Great guy. Great guy. | 好小伙啊好小伙 |
[08:09] | Why are you all encouraging him? | 你们怎么还替他说话 |
[08:13] | One thing. | 一件事 |
[08:14] | I needed you to do one thing. | 我只要你做一件事 |
[08:16] | A simple apology to the Hu’s. | 向糊夫人们道歉 |
[08:18] | You cannot let these people walk all over you | 绝对不能让人骑在头上 |
[08:20] | unless they are giving you a massage. | 除非是给你按摩 |
[08:22] | I am your boss. And they are my boss. | 我是你老板 她们是我老板 |
[08:25] | And Victor Hu is the best student at Nixon. | 糊味多是尼克松最好的学生 |
[08:27] | His test scores pad the numbers | 他考的分数 |
[08:29] | for all the less gifted students. | 比那群熊孩子们加一起都多 |
[08:31] | And by “Less gifted,” I’m being generous. | 而且熊孩子都算好听的了 |
[08:33] | Last week, Tony Gutierrez got his head caught in the bike rack. | 上周 托尼·谷地瑞兹的脑袋卡在自行车架里了 |
[08:36] | He did that to make five bucks. That’s really good business. | 他是为了赚五块钱 多划算 |
[08:38] | I would’ve given him ten if he’d lasted longer. | 他再撑一会我都想给十块 |
[08:40] | Victor Hu is special. | 糊味多不一般 |
[08:42] | No, he’s not, Carl. | 很一般 卡尔 |
[08:44] | There are other Asian kids. Like, a billion. | 还有好多亚洲孩子 好几亿呢 |
[08:46] | I don’t get why you’re freaking out | 就两个家长抱怨 |
[08:47] | about two parents complaining. | 你紧张什么 |
[08:49] | It wasn’t just two. | 可不是两个 |
[08:51] | It was two dozen parent complaints. | 有两打的家长投诉 |
[08:53] | About you. | 投诉你的 |
[08:55] | You know, another principal would’ve acted on these immediately. | 换别人做校长 可能马上就处分你 |
[08:58] | Yeah, but we’re friends, so… | 是啊 可咱是闺蜜 所以… |
[08:59] | Yeah, and-and that’s why I gave you leeway. | 是啊 所以我一直在迁就你 |
[09:01] | Because I knew that your teaching methods were unorthodox, | 因为我知道 虽然你教书的方式有点奇葩 |
[09:04] | but that you did get through to the kids. | 但你最懂孩子们的心 |
[09:05] | – Thank you. – Well, maybe this was wrong. | -谢谢 -也许这样不好 |
[09:07] | No. It was super right. | 哪有 非常好 |
[09:09] | Parent groups are scrutinizing my every move. | 家长们监视着我的一举一动 |
[09:11] | I can’t let our friendship force me to make bad decisions about this school. | 我不能让咱俩的友情危及学校 |
[09:16] | I can’t protect you anymore. | 我不能再罩着你了 |
[09:17] | I don’t care about your… your, your car problems or your female troubles. | 我也不管你是车出毛病了 还是闺蜜有问题 |
[09:22] | I gotta treat you like everybody else. | 我要对你一视同仁 |
[09:25] | No more thinking with my downstairs brain. | 别惦记着我下面那位了 |
[09:27] | What? | 什么 |
[09:29] | My heart. | 我的心 |
[09:38] | Hey, hey! Check it out! | 快来看看 |
[09:40] | The scratch is gone. It is as good as new. | 刮痕没了 跟新的一样 |
[09:42] | It was never new. It’s a rental. | 本来就不是新的 是租来的 |
[09:44] | Okay, then it’s as good as used. | 跟用过的一样 |
[09:45] | I called in a favor from the shop teacher. | 我找手工课老师帮了个忙 |
[09:47] | He owes me. I have to roll his joints for him | 他欠我人情 他少几根手指 |
[09:49] | ’cause he’s missing a few fingers. | 都是我替他卷大麻烟 |
[09:50] | He might not be the best shop teacher, | 他做手工可能不怎么样 |
[09:52] | but he did a great job on this! | 但这个可是超级棒 |
[09:54] | So, uh… We cool, Ginny? | 那就没事了 金妮 |
[09:56] | If anybody asks, | 要是有人问 |
[09:58] | I’m going out to lunch. | 就说我出去吃午饭了 |
[09:59] | Somebody ate my leftover lasagna from the fridge. | 有人把我昨天放冰箱里的千层面吃了 |
[10:03] | Is that marinara on your shirt, Joel? | 乔尔 你衣服上是调味汁吗 |
[10:05] | No. | 不是 |
[10:08] | Cuff me, Lorna. I was powerless. | 逮到我了 罗娜 我当时饿了啊 |
[10:09] | You are a magician with ricotta. | 你放的干酪又那么好吃 |
[10:12] | Aw, that’s sweet. | 你真好 |
[10:14] | I’m even better with fresh mozzarella. | 我做白干酪更好吃呢 |
[10:16] | I don’t believe you. | 我不信 |
[10:17] | I’ll prove it. | 那就做给你看 |
[10:19] | I will make you baked ziti this weekend. | 这周末给你做通心粉 |
[10:20] | I dare you. | 跟你打赌 |
[10:23] | Lorna! | 罗娜 |
[10:25] | Aren’t you mad about the lasagna? | 千层面的事你不生气吗 |
[10:26] | Now you have nothing to eat for lunch. | 你午饭吃什么啊 |
[10:28] | Oh, it’s okay. | 没事啊 |
[10:28] | It’s nice to get some attention from a man who’s not trying | 除了推销反向抵押贷款的 终于有男人 |
[10:31] | to sell me a reverse mortgage. | 注意到我了 |
[10:33] | So, we cool, Lorna? | 没事了 罗娜 |
[10:35] | Yeah, we cool. | 没事了 |
[10:39] | See that? Everybody’s cool. | 看到没 大家都没事 |
[10:42] | Everybody is not cool! | 怎么没事 |
[10:47] | Ginny is being so unreasonable. | 金妮真是不可理喻 |
[10:49] | I scratched her car, then I fixed it, but we’re still not cool. | 我刮了她的车 然后补好了 可她还有事 |
[10:52] | You want to hear about uncool? | 让你听听什么叫有事 |
[10:53] | Victor Hu’s moms tried to break up me and Carl. | 糊味多的妈妈要拆散我跟卡尔 |
[10:55] | They Yoko Ono’d us, | 他俩离间我 |
[10:57] | and I’m not just saying that because they’re horrible Asian women. | 我这么说不只因为她俩是讨人厌的亚洲婆娘 |
[10:59] | Wait, wait, wait, wait. How? | 等等等等 怎么回事 |
[11:00] | Carl demanded that I apologize | 因为之前态度不好 |
[11:02] | to them for being rude, and I refused. | 卡尔要我向她俩道歉 我不干 |
[11:04] | Well, were you being rude? | 你态度不好吗 |
[11:06] | Yeah, absolutely, | 当然不好 |
[11:07] | but they were being disrespectful to me | 但她们不尊重我 |
[11:09] | and talking down to me. | 还鄙视我 |
[11:10] | Look, I could be as successful as the Hu’s. | 我也能跟两位糊妈一样成功 |
[11:12] | I just didn’t have the same opportunities that they had, | 只不过没得到她们那样的机会 |
[11:15] | because I could get by on my looks. | 因为我靠长相就能吃饭 |
[11:17] | But if I were ugly, I could be a doctor | 我要是长得丑 也能当上医生 |
[11:19] | and join any country club that I wanted. | 乡间俱乐部随便进 |
[11:22] | – Well, it’s good to know you’re thinking straight. – You know what? | -你思维终于正常了 -告诉你 |
[11:24] | I’m gonna go down and give those doctors | 我要去她们那 用她们那套 |
[11:26] | a taste of their own Chinese medicine. | 治治这两个医生 |
[11:28] | That sounds like a bad idea. | 这不太好吧 |
[11:29] | Or the best idea ever. | 是最好的了 |
[11:31] | No, I’m sticking with bad idea. | 我还是觉得不好 |
[11:33] | At least count to ten before you do something rash. | 冲动之前先数十个数 |
[11:36] | …eight, | 八 |
[11:38] | nine, | 九 |
[11:40] | ten. | 十 |
[11:41] | Attention, Hu patients. | 听我说 糊医生的病人们 |
[11:44] | You can’t stand on the furniture. | 你不能站茶几上 |
[11:45] | Oh, really, is it disrespectful? | 怎么了 不尊重人吗 |
[11:47] | More like dangerous. | 是有危险 |
[11:48] | What’s going on here? | 怎么了 |
[11:50] | Hey, you guys. I thought I would just come by | 二位好啊 我想来你们工作的地方 |
[11:52] | your place of work and complain about you, | 来投诉一下你们俩 |
[11:53] | since you took time out of your busy schedule to come to my work… | 因为你俩百忙之中还抽空去学校 |
[11:56] | – and complain about me. – Complain about what? | -投诉我了 -投诉什么 |
[11:58] | Oh, thank you so much for asking. | 开尊口问我了呢 |
[12:00] | Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to lodge a formal complaint. | 女士们先生们 我要正式投诉她们两个 |
[12:03] | The Hu’s… | 两个糊医生 |
[12:04] | the worst doctors in America. | 是全美最差劲的医生 |
[12:07] | They didn’t spend enough time with me taking my temperature. | 她们给我量体温的时间太短 |
[12:10] | They didn’t even know where to put the tongue depressor, | 连压舌板都不知道压哪 |
[12:13] | and they were rude during my breast exam. | 给我检查胸部的时候还特别粗鲁 |
[12:15] | They’re allergists. | 她俩是治过敏的 |
[12:16] | So on top of everything, I might have been molested. I mean, where does it end? | 最重要的是 我被她俩骚扰了 她俩真没下限 |
[12:20] | – Here. – Step down. | -这里 -请下来 |
[12:21] | Why, thank you. | 谢谢啊 |
[12:27] | These, they’re mine. | 这些 都归我了 |
[12:35] | Thanks for the ride. | 谢谢你送我回家 |
[12:36] | I usually walk, but I forgot my mace. | 我一般都走着 可今天忘带狼牙棒了 |
[12:38] | It’s really good for scaring people off, | 吓人是挺有用的 |
[12:40] | but it’s pretty heavy to carry around | 可是每天带着 |
[12:42] | on a daily basis. | 也挺重的 |
[12:43] | I should really see if Medieval Times | 我去”中世纪”店里找找 |
[12:45] | – has a travel-sized one. – Ginny, hey. | -看有没有便携的 -金妮 |
[12:47] | I know you’re still mad at me, but… | 我知道你还生我的气 但是… |
[12:49] | How many different ways can I say “leave me alone”? | 要我怎么说你才不来烦我 |
[12:51] | There’s nine ways in Eskimo, | 爱斯基摩人有九种说法 |
[12:52] | but most are used on bears. | 不过基本都是对熊说的 |
[12:54] | Okay, I know the car is fixed, | 好吧 我知道车是修好了 |
[12:55] | but I still want to give you something for your trouble. | 但给你添麻烦了 我还是想送你点东西 |
[12:57] | So… | 好了 |
[12:59] | I got my second-to-last stamp on my sandwich card. | 这是我三明治会员卡上倒数第二张优惠券 |
[13:02] | Now, the next one is full price, | 下一个三明治是全价 |
[13:03] | but the one after that, totally free. | 但是再下一个免单哟 |
[13:06] | Joel, you borrow money from people and then you don’t pay it back. | 乔尔 你借人钱不还 |
[13:08] | You drink people’s coffee, | 喝别人的咖啡 |
[13:10] | and when you ate Lorna’s lasagna, | 你吃完罗娜的千层面 |
[13:12] | did you even return the Tupperware? | 把餐盒还回去了吗 |
[13:13] | Well, no, it’s soaking. | 没 泡在水里等着洗呢 |
[13:15] | You want everything to be cool, | 你希望没有什么事 |
[13:17] | but sometimes it isn’t cool. | 可有时候就是有事 |
[13:19] | And then somehow I’m the uncool one | 有人划了我的车 |
[13:21] | because someone scratches my car, | 我就有事了 |
[13:23] | and I want them to leave a note! | 划车的最好留个便条 |
[13:27] | – A note? – It shouldn’t be so hard to acknowledge | -便条 -这事已经发生了 |
[13:30] | that something happened, Joel. | 有什么不能承认的 乔尔 |
[13:31] | To respect someone’s feelings. | 不能考虑下别人的感受吗 |
[13:37] | What if I buy the next sandwich… | 要不我去买个三明治 |
[13:39] | and then give you the card? | 给你卡让你免单呢 |
[13:40] | Oh, do you think she’s gonna circle back around? | 你觉得她会开回来吗 |
[13:43] | I, I don’t get it. I have tried everything. | 真不明白 我什么都试过了 |
[13:45] | Joel, walk with me. | 乔尔 陪我走吧 |
[13:48] | You’re a good kid, | 你是个好孩子 |
[13:50] | but you’re prettier than you are smart. | 但你长得帅没脑子 |
[13:51] | So I am gonna help you out. | 我来帮你吧 |
[13:53] | Three years ago, you kissed Ginny at the Christmas party, | 三年前 圣诞派对上你吻了金妮 |
[13:56] | then said “We’re cool” the next day. | 第二天又说”没事了吧” |
[13:58] | She stopped talking to you for two weeks. | 她两周没理你 |
[14:00] | You didn’t even notice. | 你都没注意 |
[14:01] | I know this because I found her journal | 我之所以知道 是因为替她看房子时 |
[14:03] | in a shoe box in back of her closet when I was house-sitting. | 在她衣橱后面的鞋盒里发现了她的日记 |
[14:06] | Man, I had no idea. | 我还真不知道 |
[14:07] | Yeah, I house-sit for her pretty regularly. | 是啊 我经常给她看家 |
[14:10] | I’m super tight with her plants. | 我可会照顾植物了 |
[14:17] | What? | 怎么了 |
[14:18] | I’m an inspiration? | 我是灵感吗 |
[14:19] | No. | 不是 |
[14:21] | Hey, you’re the inspiration, kid. | 你才是灵感 孩子 |
[14:23] | I just got off the phone with the Hu’s. | 两位糊夫人刚给我打电话了 |
[14:25] | Apparently, you paid them a visit without my permission. | 看来你未经我同意去找了她们 |
[14:27] | Well, I did go down there to demonstrate how out of line they’d been, | 我就是去告诉她俩 之前她俩有多过火 |
[14:30] | and it was actually a very creative | 其实还挺有创造性的 |
[14:32] | and well thought out plan, but they went nuts. | 计划特别周密 可她俩抓狂了 |
[14:34] | And you cannot trust anything that they say. | 她们的话都不能信 |
[14:36] | Well, you don’t have to worry about the Hu’s anymore. | 糊家的事你不用操心了 |
[14:37] | They’re taking Victor out of Nixon | 她们给糊味多办了转学 |
[14:39] | and transferring him over to Kennedy Middle. | 去肯尼迪中学了 |
[14:41] | I’m not supposed to say this, but he was my favorite. | 我不该这么说 但他是我最喜欢的学生 |
[14:44] | – It’s all over. – Carl, it’s not my fault. | -都完了 -卡尔 这不怪我 |
[14:46] | I know it’s not your fault. | 我知道不怪你 |
[14:48] | It’s mine. | 怪我 |
[14:49] | Oh, okay, good. | 那就好 |
[14:50] | So, are we friends again? | 咱还是朋友吗 |
[14:53] | I don’t know if we were ever friends, Meredith. | 咱俩做过朋友吗 梅瑞迪丝 |
[15:04] | Crazy week, huh? | 这周真疯狂 |
[15:06] | I heard Victor Hu is transferring. | 听说糊味多转学了 |
[15:08] | That’s a bummer. | 真可惜 |
[15:09] | He does my taxes. | 他还给我算税款呢 |
[15:10] | Well, I say good riddance. | 我觉得终于解脱了 |
[15:11] | His moms are the pits. | 他那两个妈真奇葩 |
[15:13] | Carl is so depressed about it | 他转学了卡尔很伤心 |
[15:15] | and upset with me. | 而且还生我的气 |
[15:17] | It’s like, what’s the fuss? | 有毛线可伤心的 |
[15:18] | It’s one tiny student. | 就一个小屁孩 |
[15:19] | No, no, no, it… It’s not just one student. | 不不不 可不是一个 |
[15:21] | It, it’s 30 students, three teachers… | 是30个学生 三个老师 |
[15:24] | and-and a janitor. They’ve all transferred to Kennedy this year. | 还有一个清洁工 今年都转到肯尼迪去了 |
[15:27] | – Wait, why? – I don’t know. | -等等 为什么 -不知道呢 |
[15:28] | More money, better resources. | 钱挣得多 资源更好吧 |
[15:29] | They don’t have to inflate their basketballs at a gas station. | 不用去加油站给篮球打气 |
[15:32] | I mean, Carl’s been doing backflips | 卡尔在这干得风生水起 |
[15:33] | to make everyone so happy, but they keep jumping ship. | 大家都很开心 可还是有人跳槽 |
[15:36] | Who cares? | 谁在乎呢 |
[15:37] | Carl cares. | 卡尔在乎啊 |
[15:39] | Why do you think he put on such a nice open house | 不然他为什么找了个好地方开招待会 |
[15:41] | for the parents with the smooth jazz and the cheese? | 还叫上爵士乐队 配上奶酪 |
[15:43] | Why do you think he cares about you apologizing to the Hu’s? | 不然他为什么要你给糊妈道歉 |
[15:46] | You know, you’ve been so worried about being disrespected, | 你一直担心别人不尊重你 |
[15:49] | when the real person being disrespected was Carl. | 可其实是卡尔不被人尊重 |
[15:53] | But by other people. | 是不被其他人尊重 |
[15:56] | Really? | 真的假的 |
[16:00] | Grab your coat. We’re going to Kennedy. | 穿上衣服 去肯尼迪高中 |
[16:02] | – Why? Are they hiring? – Come on! | -干什么 他们招人吗 -快来 |
[16:08] | The juice bar lady said their tour started 15 minutes ago. | 果汁吧的女士说15分钟前他们刚开始参观 |
[16:11] | The Hu’s should be in auditorium three. | 糊味多应该在三号礼堂 |
[16:12] | Man, what school has three auditoriums? | 他们居然有三个礼堂吗 |
[16:15] | This place is like Versailles, which I toured once… | 真是凡尔赛宫一样 我还去过… |
[16:18] | virtually. | 神游过一次 |
[16:19] | Nope, Esteban, you quit. | 不行 埃斯特班 你主动辞的 |
[16:20] | You are dead to me. | 我无视你 |
[16:26] | – How can they afford all this teak? – I don’t know. | -居然是柚木的 哪来的钱 -不知道 |
[16:29] | Victor! | 糊味多 |
[16:31] | Seriously? Again? | 你又要闹哪样 |
[16:33] | Man, the acoustics in here are amazing. | 这的音效真是棒 |
[16:35] | Unique New York, unique New York. | 喂喂喂喂 舒克舒克 |
[16:37] | Excuse me. | 不好意思 |
[16:38] | Hi. You here with the tour? | 你们是来参观的吗 |
[16:40] | We need to talk to Victor. We want him back. | 我们来找糊味多 想把他要回去 |
[16:42] | We’re not listening to this. | 不听不听就不听 |
[16:43] | Mom, they’ve been good to me. Let them speak. | 妈 他们对我很好 听他们说 |
[16:46] | Victor, you belong at Nixon. | 味多 你属于尼克松中学 |
[16:47] | But everything’s better here. | 可这里什么都比尼克松强 |
[16:49] | Not everything at Kennedy is better. | 也不是所有东西都强 |
[16:52] | At Nixon, you only have 21 kids per class. | 尼克松中学平均一个班只有21人 |
[16:54] | At Kennedy, you have 28. | 肯尼迪平均28人 |
[16:56] | Well, because so many Nixon students keep transferring to Kennedy. | 那是因为尼克松的学生都转来肯尼迪了 |
[17:00] | If you’re looking for a Nixon-Kennedy debate, pal, you just found one. | 你是想跟我辩论吗 快放马过来 |
[17:04] | Wonderful. | 好的 |
[17:09] | Oh, now you leave a note. | 现在你倒留便条了 |
[17:12] | Hey, I really am sorry. | 真的对不起 |
[17:14] | I’m sorry about a lot of things. | 好多事都对不起你 |
[17:16] | Too little, too late, Joel. | 不诚心 太晚了 乔尔 |
[17:18] | But the thing I’m most sorry about is that we never talked | 我最对不起你的 就是那年圣诞派对之后 |
[17:20] | about what happened at the Christmas party, you know. | 我们还没好好谈过 |
[17:23] | – So you do remember. – Yeah, of course. | -你还真记得啊 -当然啊 |
[17:25] | I mean, the two of us under the mistletoe. | 我们两个在槲寄生下 |
[17:28] | In the parking lot. | 是停车场 |
[17:29] | Well, we had a lot of eggnog. | 都喝了不少蛋奶酒 |
[17:33] | Yeah, I, I rarely drink anymore. No good comes from it. | 是啊 我都不喝酒了 准没好事 |
[17:37] | Well, I mean, some good came from it. | 还是有好事的 |
[17:39] | I got to make out with a really hot girl in a light-up Rudolph sweater. | 我跟一个穿红灯鼻子鲁道夫毛衣的美女亲热了 |
[17:42] | That was the one literal bright light in a pretty rough Christmas. | 那年圣诞不好过 但是美女的红灯一直照耀着我 |
[17:45] | I, I had just broken up with my long-term girlfriend. | 我刚结束了一段好长的恋情 |
[17:48] | We were supposed to get married. | 本来是想结婚的 |
[17:49] | You know, I, I bought a ring and everything. | 戒指什么的我都买了 |
[17:51] | – You never told me that. – Not to mention, | -你都没说过 -而且 |
[17:53] | I had just gotten bumped from the playoffs in my fantasy football league. | 我的足球俱乐部要踢季后赛 不要我了 |
[17:55] | Yeah, you told me about that several times. | 这你倒是说了好多遍了 |
[17:58] | Anyways, um, I’m sorry I didn’t handle things well. | 抱歉事情没处理好 |
[18:02] | But you’re right. | 但你说的对 |
[18:03] | I need to start owning my mistakes, so… | 我犯过的错要自己负责 所以… |
[18:07] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[18:11] | We’re cool. | 没事了 |
[18:12] | Cool. | 没事了 |
[18:13] | Kiss her! | 快吻她 |
[18:14] | Not that kind of moment, Kim. | 气氛不对 金姆 |
[18:16] | Kiss me. | 那就吻我 |
[18:17] | Our soda machines only charge 75 cents a can. | 我们贩卖机里的苏打水只要75分 |
[18:19] | I noticed yours charge a dollar. | 你们的要一块钱 |
[18:21] | We discourage our students from drinking soda. | 我们不鼓励学生喝苏打水 |
[18:24] | That’s why we offer a complimentary fresh juice bar. | 所以有免费的鲜榨果汁吧 |
[18:27] | Oh. Juice. | 果汁啊 |
[18:28] | Well, maybe Victor doesn’t like fresh juice. | 也许糊味多不爱喝果汁 |
[18:30] | Are you kidding? I love fresh juice. | 怎么可能 我超喜欢喝 |
[18:32] | Okay, Meredith, this isn’t working. | 梅瑞迪丝 这样不行 |
[18:34] | No, no, not yet. | 还不到时候 |
[18:36] | He forgot the most important thing at Nixon Middle. | 他忘了尼克松中学最大的特色 |
[18:39] | He’s standing right here. | 就是这位 |
[18:41] | This man cares | 这个人 |
[18:42] | so much that he ignored, like, | 无比关心下属 |
[18:45] | a huge file of complaints about me. | 把无数投诉我的人都挡在了门外 |
[18:48] | And more importantly, | 更重要的是 |
[18:49] | he has not missed one day of school. | 他一天都没有缺勤过 |
[18:51] | That is, count them… five days a week. | 也就是 一周五天全勤 |
[18:54] | Which feels excessive to me, but not to him. | 我觉得全勤太难 他却觉得没什么 |
[18:57] | He’s even been teaching Victor calculus in his free time. | 业余时间他还在教糊味多微积分 |
[19:00] | It was your Christmas present, Moms. | 本来是送你俩的圣诞礼物 妈妈 |
[19:05] | Last year, we got trigonometry. | 去年的礼物是三角函数 |
[19:07] | Look, Carl lives and breathes Nixon so much | 卡尔为尼克松付出了太多 |
[19:10] | that it’s easy to take him for granted | 大家都认为是理所当然的 |
[19:12] | and forget everything that he does for us. | 忘了他真正的贡献 |
[19:15] | And, uh… | 而且 |
[19:16] | And I honestly never thought I would say this | 说实话 真没想到我居然会对个中学校长 |
[19:18] | about a middle school principal, but… | 说出这种话 但是… |
[19:22] | I respect him. | 我很尊重他 |
[19:29] | Now say it’s fine and walk away. | 说”没什么啦” 然后走开 |
[19:32] | Okay. Okay. | 好的 好的 |
[19:33] | You know what, Victor? | 这样吧 糊味多 |
[19:35] | If you want to stay at Kennedy, then you should stay. | 你想留在肯尼迪也可以 |
[19:43] | I don’t know about this, Meredith. | 这样好吗 梅瑞迪丝 |
[19:45] | Hey, people respond to those that reject them, okay? | 拒绝别人 他就会更有兴趣 |
[19:48] | This is sort of my area of expertise. | 这是我的专长 |
[19:51] | It’s gonna be good. | 没事的 |
[19:52] | Well, I’ve always said, Meredith, you are unorthodox. | 梅瑞迪丝 我总是说你有点奇葩 |
[19:55] | Principal Carl? | 卡尔校长 |
[19:57] | But I get through to the kids. | 但我懂孩子们的心 |
[19:59] | And that is why I respect you. | 所以我才尊重你 |
[20:01] | Principal Carl… | 卡尔校长 |
[20:02] | I choose Nixon. | 我选尼克松了 |
[20:05] | Let him hang. | 让他等着 |
[20:06] | This is where we go for something extra. | 现在该去买点东西奖励自己 |
[20:07] | Maybe new earrings for me, maybe a beanbag chair for you. | 我买对耳环啊 你买把变形椅啊 |
[20:11] | I’m just saying. | 就是说说 |
[20:12] | Yeah, but I already got everything I wanted. | 可我不想再要什么了 |
[20:17] | If Victor wants to stay, it’s okay. | 糊味多想留下也可以 |
[20:19] | We want him to be happy. | 要让他开心 |
[20:21] | So do we. That’s one thing we can agree on. | 没问题 这点可以达成共识 |
[20:24] | I guess so. | 也许吧 |
[20:25] | But we’re keeping our eyes on you. | 我们可盯着你呢 |
[20:27] | It’s hard to take your eyes off me. I get it. | 你怎么看我都不嫌多 我懂 |
[20:29] | That’s not what I meant. | 不是那个意思 |
[20:48] | Damn, that was a good Christmas. | 靠 那个圣诞真爽 |