| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:16] | Look, it’s my favorite long-term houseguest. | 瞧啊 是我最爱的”常客” |
| [00:19] | Meredith, join us. | 梅瑞迪丝 一起坐 |
| [00:20] | Can’t, late for work. | 不行 快迟到了 |
| [00:22] | Meredith, teaches at Lily’s school. | 梅瑞迪丝在莉莉的学校教书 |
| [00:25] | Her husband left her with nothing. | 她老公什么都没给她留下 |
| [00:27] | It isn’t public school, is it? | 不会是公立学校吧 |
| [00:28] | It is. | 是的 |
| [00:29] | When I have real kids, they won’t go there. | 我亲生的绝对不会去公立学校 |
| [00:31] | Lily is just my stepdaughter. | 莉莉是我继女 |
| [00:33] | Even though she lives with us fulltime. | 尽管她全天和我们住 |
| [00:35] | And who are you? | 你哪位 |
| [00:37] | Huppy took your spot in our double’s game | 哈珀来代替你打双人比赛 |
| [00:38] | She’s an amazing backhand. | 她的反手拍可绝了 |
| [00:40] | Oh, that’s how you get forums like that. | 难怪你有这样的 |
| [00:42] | On second thought, those kids can learn around my schedule. | 突然发现是我说何时上课就何时上课 |
| [00:45] | I am the boss. | 我是老大 |
| [00:47] | The boss. | 老大 |
| [00:48] | To being the boss. | 敬老大 |
| [00:49] | To being the boss. | 敬老大 |
| [00:50] | You have to be on the bus now, | 你得赶紧上车 |
| [00:52] | or the driver says she’s gonna ride you up. | 不然司机就直接走了 |
| [00:55] | Very funny joke, Lily. | 好好笑 莉莉 |
| [00:57] | She said they’ll dock your paycheck. | 她说你的工资会被扣 |
| [00:59] | You know what, those kids need me. | 孩子们需要我 |
| [01:03] | I don’t need a bus chaperone, | 我不需要人监督我开车 |
| [01:05] | and I’ve told everyone that would listen. | 我给所有愿意听的人都说了 |
| [01:06] | So your mom and your two cats? | 是指你妈和你的两只猫 |
| [01:08] | Wrong, I only have one cat and two moms. | 错 一猫两妈 |
| [01:12] | Morning, Safety Patrol! | 早上好 安全巡逻员 |
| [01:17] | Go easy on the blush, okay? | 腮红涂淡点 |
| [01:18] | I looked like a transvestite on Friday. | 周五那天我看着跟个异装癖一样 |
| [01:20] | There’s nothing wrong with looking like a transvestite. | 异装癖又没有什么不对的 |
| [01:22] | They’re just like you and me. | 他们跟我们一样 |
| [01:24] | This is why you don’t have a boyfriend. | 论为何你没有男朋友 |
| [01:27] | I don’t have a boyfriend because I’m 12. | 我没有男朋友是因为我才十二 |
| [01:29] | What’s your excuse? | 而你呢 |
| [01:31] | Nice one, Bronwen! | 黑得好 布朗温 |
| [01:36] | Hey, is that… my convertible? | 那是我的敞篷车吗 |
| [01:42] | Stop the bus. | 停车 |
| [01:50] | Mitzi… | 米茨 |
| [01:52] | Remember me? You took my car, | 记得我吗 你抢了我的车 |
| [01:54] | my husband, and my house? | 我老公和我的房子 |
| [01:56] | Along with all the art | 还有那些 |
| [01:57] | I pretended to understand? | 我假装懂得欣赏的艺术品 |
| [01:58] | Hope you’re happy. | 希望你开心 |
| [02:00] | I really am. | 我真的很开心 |
| [02:01] | Thanks for asking. | 谢谢关心 |
| [02:02] | Hey, divorcee! Back on the bus! | 离了婚的那个 快上车 |
| [02:05] | I see things are going well for you. | 看来你的生活不错 |
| [02:07] | They are. I’ve moved on. | 是啊 我熬过来了 |
| [02:09] | And by the way, don’t look for me | 另外 可别到 |
| [02:10] | at the country club, because my next husband… | 乡村俱乐部找我 因为我下一任老公 |
| [02:12] | …won’t be a member of the country club, | 不会是那里的一员 |
| [02:15] | – he’ll own one. – Work in one. | -他是那儿老板 -那儿员工 |
| [02:18] | I’d give you a ride, | 本来想送你一程 |
| [02:19] | but with my Birkin, there’s no room. | 可我的柏金包就没位置了 |
| [02:22] | Sad face. | 悲剧 |
| [03:03] | You’re late. | 你迟到了 |
| [03:03] | And you wear pants with an elastic waistband. | 你穿的裤子有松紧带 |
| [03:05] | Now what? | 又怎样 |
| [03:06] | Okay, kids. | 童鞋们 |
| [03:08] | Miss Davis is having a super crappy day, okay? | 戴维斯老师今个儿倍儿不爽 |
| [03:11] | So why don’t we just shut our faces | 你们赶紧把嘴闭上 |
| [03:13] | and get ready for some learning? | 准备接受教育 |
| [03:18] | Where’s my lesson plan? | 我的教学计划呢 |
| [03:19] | Some kid picked up the TV. | 有个同学把电视搬走了 |
| [03:20] | And you just sat there? | 你们就这么袖手旁观 |
| [03:23] | Great! | 你们牛 |
| [03:25] | This is why China is winning! | 中华人民共和国万岁 |
| [03:30] | Hey! Hold up, Tank Top! | 等等 背心男 |
| [03:32] | It’s not a tank top, it’s a sleeveless shirt. | 这不是背心 是无袖T恤 |
| [03:34] | I don’t care, I just want my TV back. | 管我鸟事 把电视还我 |
| [03:36] | Although I am seeing a lot of side boob. | 你乳侧漏了 |
| [03:40] | This TV was checked out by another teacher. | 这电视被另一个老师预定了 |
| [03:42] | My orders were clear. | 给我的命令很明确 |
| [03:43] | Wait! Time-out. My nails. | 暂停 指甲劈了 |
| [03:45] | Really? Hey… | 要不要这样 |
| [03:46] | – Give it back! – No. Stop it. | -还给我 -不 住手 |
| [03:50] | I’m still taking it. | 我还是要拿走 |
| [03:51] | She was driving my old car, | 她开着我的旧车 |
| [03:53] | and I was like, “I don’t even care.” | 而我一点也不在乎 |
| [03:55] | You know, like, she can have my old life, | 她可以拥有我过去的生活 |
| [03:57] | because I am blazing a new one. | 因为我正在开拓新的未来 |
| [03:58] | But, Irene, you should have seen her, she’s so gross. | 艾琳 你真应该见见她 恶心死人了 |
| [04:00] | Fake hair, fake boobs, and… | 假发 假胸 还有 |
| [04:02] | Guys… FYI, before I hand out the paychecks, | 同志们 在我发工资前宣布一下 |
| [04:06] | I reserved the cafeteria for my special group | 我把餐厅给我的特殊小组预订了 |
| [04:09] | today and Wednesday, so… | 今天还有周三 |
| [04:10] | Uh, I need something, Principal Carl. | 我有事 卡尔校长 |
| [04:12] | Someone has checked out the big TV, | 有人把电视订走了 |
| [04:14] | even though I use it for serious educational purposes | 但我还需要在我的教室用它用来进行 |
| [04:18] | in my classroom every day. | 升级版教育 |
| [04:19] | I want it and I need it back. | 它快回来 我已经承受不来 |
| [04:21] | Well, Meredith, we all have to share. | 梅瑞迪丝 我们要会分享 |
| [04:22] | That is the Fighting Quaker way. | 这才是共产主义 |
| [04:25] | Not the Fighting Quaker three-way, | 不是五毛党意淫的 |
| [04:26] | which was graffitied behind the gym. | 平分主义 |
| [04:28] | Got the checks here. | 工资在这 |
| [04:30] | Um, I know where the TV is. | 我知道电视在哪 |
| [04:31] | Ginny checked it out, but isn’t using it. | 金妮订走了 但没在用 |
| [04:34] | She says that it is | 她说这是为了 |
| [04:35] | teaching someone a lesson, | 给某人上一课 |
| [04:36] | but I don’t know how because | 但我不知道是什么原理 因为 |
| [04:37] | it’s just in the corner of the room. | 它就被放在教室角落 |
| [04:38] | – Of course you took it. – Took it? | -果真是你抢走的 -抢走的 |
| [04:40] | Or rescued it? | 还是救走的 |
| [04:41] | The poor TV was getting | 可怜的电视先生 |
| [04:43] | so sick of teaching your class. | 都被你的课堂恶心到了 |
| [04:46] | Come on, Kim. | 走吧 金姆 |
| [04:47] | – Let’s go. – Okay. | -走吧 -好 |
| [04:48] | – Um, I haven’t finished my lunch… – Now! | -我还没吃完午饭 -快走 |
| [04:50] | All right. I am supposed | 好吧 我应该 |
| [04:51] | to take my medication with food, but that’s okay… | 在吃饭时服药的 不过没关系 |
| [04:53] | Ginny checked out the TV | 金妮把电视订走了 |
| [04:54] | just so I can’t have it. | 就为了不让我用 |
| [04:55] | Now my kids aren’t gonna know | 现在童鞋们没法知道 |
| [04:56] | what happens to Omar. | 奥马尔的下场了 |
| [04:58] | I hate this place. | 恨死这里了 |
| [04:59] | Oh, me, too. | 我也是 |
| [05:01] | Except I do kind of love it. | 不过我是有点喜欢这里 |
| [05:03] | I have to find a way out of here, Irene. | 我得想办法离开这里 艾琳 |
| [05:05] | I only took this job | 我在这儿工作 |
| [05:06] | so I could find a rich guy… | 就是为了找个土豪 |
| [05:09] | …to fall in love with. | 去爱 |
| [05:11] | – Nice save. – Oh, look. | -装得一手好逼 -快看 |
| [05:13] | It’s a gym teacher. | 是个体育老师 |
| [05:14] | I thought I smelled dirty socks and failed dreams. | 我还以为我闻到了臭袜子和破碎梦 |
| [05:18] | Somebody knows my scent. | 有人懂我哦 |
| [05:20] | And here’s your first Nixon… paycheck. | 这儿是你在尼克森的第一笔工资 |
| [05:23] | Listen, we gotta talk. | 咱得谈谈 |
| [05:25] | My ex got off our friends and family plan | 我前妻退出我的朋友圈了 |
| [05:27] | and that brought some stuff up. | 搞得我有点那什么 |
| [05:28] | Emotional stuff, and you are my rock. | 情感上的东西 而你是我的闺蜜 |
| [05:31] | – So I’ll call you later, okay? – Okay. | -晚点给你个电话如何 -没问题 |
| [05:33] | God knows I have enough free minutes now. | 我现在可真是闲得要死 |
| [05:35] | – Kotsky… – Thank you, sir. | -考茨基 -谢谢校长 |
| [05:36] | Hang in there. | 先别走 |
| [05:39] | You’re his “Rock”? Really? | 你是他闺蜜 真的假的 |
| [05:41] | He’s divorced, I’m divorced… I-I don’t know, | 他离了 我也离了 搞不清楚 |
| [05:44] | – we kind of get each other. – Well, I guess that explains | -就是互相理解吧 -难怪 |
| [05:45] | why he didn’t ask too many questions about your resume. | 他不过问你简历的问题 |
| [05:47] | Uh, state tax? | 州税 |
| [05:49] | Social security? | 社会保险 |
| [05:51] | FICA? | 联邦社会保险税 |
| [05:52] | Is this Obama? | 是奥巴马干的吗 |
| [05:53] | Is this why everybody’s mad? | 这是为啥大家都不爽吗 |
| [05:57] | Are you gonna help with Safety Patrol at all? | 你到底要不要帮我们安全巡逻员啊 |
| [06:00] | Does no one see our tip jar? | 没人看到我们的小费罐吗 |
| [06:02] | It’s like… | 真是 |
| [06:03] | What do I gotta do? | 我该怎么办啊 |
| [06:12] | Joel… | 乔尔 |
| [06:14] | – Joel? – Yeah? | -乔尔 -怎么了 |
| [06:16] | Who are those guys who don’t wear shorts to work? | 那些上班不穿短裤的人是谁 |
| [06:18] | Uh, well, first | 首先 |
| [06:19] | I’d like to explore why you hate gym teachers so much. | 我先知道你为什么这么讨厌体育老师 |
| [06:21] | I’m just not into guys who can’t do their jobs | 我就是不太喜欢那种没了哨子 |
| [06:23] | if they forget their whistle. | 就没法工作的人 |
| [06:24] | You know what? You have not changed since high school. | 你跟高中还是一个样 |
| [06:26] | Now, who are those guys? | 那些人是谁 |
| [06:28] | They’re in Carl’s Divorced Dudes group. | 他们是卡尔离婚男小组的 |
| [06:30] | So they’re all divorced? | 他们全离婚了 |
| [06:32] | Oh. Yeah. | 是的 |
| [06:33] | Yeah, I’ve-I’ve met ’em. | 我见过他们 |
| [06:35] | Mostly doctor-lawyer types | 大多是那些成天 |
| [06:36] | who just talk about wanting to meet new wives. | 谈论想找第二春的医生律师 |
| [06:39] | It’s crazy. | 太疯狂了 |
| [06:40] | You’re just saying that. | 你说笑呢吧 |
| [06:41] | No, no. | 不 |
| [06:42] | He met ’em at, um, Stanford. | 他在斯坦福遇到的他们 |
| [06:44] | Stanford? That’s a smart people school. | 斯坦福 那可是学神聚集地 |
| [06:46] | Yeah, and they must be successful | 是啊 他们肯定很成功 |
| [06:47] | if they can leave their jobs early, | 不然他们怎么能提前下班 |
| [06:49] | without a whistle, just to go to a support group. I mean. | 不带哨子 参加互助会呢 |
| [06:53] | – Good point. – Yeah. | -有道理 -必然 |
| [06:54] | – Thanks, Coach Kotsky. – No problem. | -谢了 考茨基教练 -不用谢 |
| [07:00] | Quit lookin’ at my tush. | 别盯着我的美臀 |
| [07:01] | Oh, sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [07:02] | It’s just distractingly firm. | 真是有够翘啊 |
| [07:08] | So I just heard about your divorce support group. | 我听说了你的离婚互助小组 |
| [07:11] | I mean, you know me. | 你也知道我这个人 |
| [07:12] | I love supporting and being supported. | 爱被援助 也爱交际 |
| [07:15] | Sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [07:16] | It’s called “Separated and Divorced Dudes”. | 这是”分居与离婚男小组” |
| [07:19] | I know you and I have a very special bond, | 我知道咱俩亲得很 |
| [07:21] | and just as you have been there for me, | 就像你一直支持着我一样 |
| [07:22] | I am always here for you. | 我也会一直支持你 |
| [07:24] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [07:25] | But… I mean, those shoulders of yours | 不过 你这个贴心小棉袄 |
| [07:28] | could use a rest. | 都快穿烂了 |
| [07:29] | Supporting me and… | 为了我和 |
| [07:31] | the school, and… | 学校 还有 |
| [07:33] | that elegant bald head… | 你那骄傲的 |
| [07:37] | – …of yours. It just… -Don’t do that, | -光头 这实在 -别这样 |
| [07:38] | ’cause if you start, I’m gonna start. | 你一哭我也想哭 |
| [07:42] | All right, you can come. | 好吧 让你来 |
| [07:44] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [07:46] | But let’s keep this on the down-low. | 不过你得低调点 |
| [07:48] | I like to keep my private life private. | 我可不想把自己的私人生活公开 |
| [07:51] | Yes, my wife left me, | 是啊 我老婆跑了 |
| [07:52] | but the whole world doesn’t need to know that. | 但是没必要让整个世界都知道 |
| [07:54] | Principal Carl? | 卡尔校长 |
| [07:56] | You’re leaning on the P.A. again. | 你又压到广播按钮上了 |
| [07:59] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [08:00] | I’ll see you after school. | 放学见 |
| [08:03] | Uh, attention, Nixonians. | 请注意 尼克森的子民 |
| [08:04] | Please disregard that last drama class improvisation. | 请忽略刚才的戏剧课即兴表演 |
| [08:08] | Thank you! | 多谢 |
| [08:11] | You were right about me showing movies. | 你对我播电影的行为批评得对 |
| [08:13] | So I’ve decided | 所以我决定 |
| [08:14] | to try something else in my class. | 在班里试些新花样 |
| [08:16] | Apparently, it’s not wearing proper workplace attire. | 明显你不打算试着穿合适的工作装 |
| [08:19] | Kim is gonna teach for me. | 金姆要给我教课 |
| [08:20] | Baptism by fire. | 以牙还牙 |
| [08:22] | It’s the Meredith Davis educational philosophy. | 是梅瑞迪丝·戴维斯的教育哲学 |
| [08:24] | – TM. – What? | -已注册商标 -你说啥 |
| [08:26] | Oh, yeah. There’s a student teacher sign-up sheet | 对了 卡尔校长的办公室有个 |
| [08:28] | in Principal Carl’s office. | 实习教师预约单 |
| [08:30] | Apparently, you can check out anything. | 原来你想预订什么都可以 |
| [08:32] | TVs, traffic cones, | 电视 交通锥标 |
| [08:33] | lightbulbs, Kim… | 灯泡 金姆 |
| [08:35] | Got her for the rest of the year. | 把她订了一年 |
| [08:37] | But I’m always with Ginny. | 可我一直跟着金妮在干 |
| [08:39] | We share a pedometer. | 我们共用一个计步器 |
| [08:40] | Kim… just go. | 金姆 去吧 |
| [08:45] | I guess I’ll just count my own steps. | 看来我得自己数自己走多少步了 |
| [08:47] | Enjoy the TV. | 好好用你的电视吧 |
| [08:51] | One… | 一 |
| [08:52] | two… three… | 二 三 |
| [08:57] | But I’ve never taught before. | 我从没教过课 |
| [08:58] | Ginny still has me training with dolls. | 金妮还在让我用布娃娃训练 |
| [09:00] | You’re ready. | 你准备好了 |
| [09:01] | You’ve been following Ginny around for a year. | 你在金妮屁股后面跟了一年了 |
| [09:03] | It’s time for the student teacher | 该让实习教师 |
| [09:06] | to become the teacher. | 变成教师了 |
| [09:09] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [09:10] | Go get ’em, Miss… | 加油吧 金姆 |
| [09:12] | Kim! | 老师 |
| [09:25] | Irene! | 艾琳 |
| [09:26] | Can’t talk, my sisters were just | 没时间聊 我姐姐刚刚 |
| [09:27] | in a horrible boating accident. | 出了场严重的船运事故 |
| [09:28] | I’m the one that called the front office. | 是我给前台打的电话 |
| [09:30] | They’re fine. Surprise! | 他们没事 惊喜 |
| [09:31] | Oh… oh, yeah. | 太好了 |
| [09:33] | I was wondering how they got a boat. | 我就说她们哪儿来的船 |
| [09:34] | We’re playing hooky. | 咱要逃学了 |
| [09:35] | You’re gonna take me to get | 你得帮我把 |
| [09:36] | my hair and my nails done. | 头发和指甲整好 |
| [09:37] | Great. | 极好 |
| [09:43] | I don’t know what we do now. | 不知道该干什么了 |
| [09:46] | I should’ve watched the whole movie. | 我改把整部电影看完的 |
| [09:49] | ‘Cause we are alone, but we are what? | 我们是孤身一人 但我们却是 |
| [09:50] | Not forgotten. | 未被遗忘的 |
| [09:52] | Absolutely. | 是的 |
| [09:52] | ‘Cause we all know that being alone | 因为我们都知道孤身一人 |
| [09:54] | is really being in a relationship with ourselves. | 其实就是和自己在谈感情 |
| [09:57] | Everyone, this is Meredith. | 大家注意 这是梅瑞迪丝 |
| [09:59] | Meredith? Th-Thi-This is the Meredith? | 梅瑞迪丝 这就是梅瑞迪丝 |
| [10:01] | This is your rock? | 这是你闺蜜 |
| [10:02] | Yes! | 是的 |
| [10:04] | I am Carl’s rock. | 我是卡尔的闺蜜 |
| [10:06] | A recently divorced rock… | 刚刚离婚的闺蜜 |
| [10:09] | Matt. | 马特 |
| [10:11] | – Hi. – And… | -你好 -另外 |
| [10:12] | this is Irene. | 这位是艾琳 |
| [10:13] | She’s not divorced, but she is totally alone. | 她没离婚 却百分百单身 |
| [10:16] | Oh, well, not totally alone. | 也不是百分百 |
| [10:19] | I have two ferrets, | 我有两只雪貂 |
| [10:20] | and, uh…. one on the way. | 还有一只快到了 |
| [10:22] | He’s coming from Mexico | 只要他的麝香腺囊被摘除了 |
| [10:23] | as soon as he gets his musk sacs removed. | 就会立马从墨西哥送过来 |
| [10:25] | Uh, would you care to join the circle? | 要加入我们吗 |
| [10:27] | Very much. | 非常乐意 |
| [10:30] | Duck… | 你拍一 |
| [10:32] | duck… just kidding. | 我拍一 开个玩笑 |
| [10:33] | We can play games later. | 咱们等会儿再做游戏 |
| [10:35] | Oh, yeah… | 好啊 |
| [10:36] | So sweet. | 谢谢 |
| [10:41] | So, I saw my lawyer this week. | 我这周见到我的律师了 |
| [10:45] | Mmm. Luckily, he didn’t see me, | 还好他没看见我 |
| [10:46] | so those divorce papers remain unsigned. | 所以那些离婚协议书还没被签 |
| [10:49] | That’s so hard. | 这太惨了 |
| [10:51] | But I’m here to support you… | 我会在这里支持你 |
| [10:54] | …in any way… | 用我能用的 |
| [10:56] | I… can. | 任何方法 |
| [11:11] | I have a great drinking game! | 我想到了一个超棒的行酒令 |
| [11:14] | I just need a black AmEx. | 要一张黑色的捷运卡 |
| [11:17] | No, that’s-that’s not liquor. | 不 那个不是酒 |
| [11:20] | That’s my wife’s scent. | 是我老婆味的香水 |
| [11:22] | Gardenia, orange, pancake batter, | 栀子花 橘子 煎饼糊 |
| [11:25] | and prescription dandruff shampoo. | 药用去屑香波 |
| [11:28] | He’s a perfumer. He’s gonna do all of our exes. | 他是个香水师 会帮我们做”前任味”香水 |
| [11:30] | Divorce is a journey, not a destination. | 离婚是个过程 不是重点 |
| [11:33] | It’s like a journey… | 它像个旅程 |
| [11:35] | Hey, why the long face? | 怎么拉长个脸 |
| [11:37] | You set me up. | 你耍我 |
| [11:39] | Pretty good for a dumb gym teacher, huh? | 一个呆呆的体育老师想出的点子不错吧 |
| [11:41] | As you guys know, my wife Carla | 你们都知道 我老婆卡拉 |
| [11:43] | cheated on me. | 出轨了 |
| [11:44] | I ran into the guy she cheated on me with, | 我那天在健身房 |
| [11:46] | the other day at the gym. | 碰到她出轨的对象 |
| [11:47] | I popped in to put one of my “Roommates Wanted” flyers up. | 我是去贴征召室友的海报的 |
| [11:51] | I’ve already heard this. | 这我都听过了 |
| [11:52] | I can’t imagine her with someone else. | 我没法想象她和别人在一起 |
| [11:54] | It was always Carla and Carl. | 原来总是卡拉和卡尔 |
| [11:56] | Now it’s Carla and Carl. | 现在是卡拉和卡尔 |
| [11:59] | His name is Carl, too. | 他也叫卡尔 |
| [12:01] | I-I just lost it. | 我当时失控了 |
| [12:02] | I screamed, “I hope you’re happy, Carl!” | 我喊道 祝你幸福 卡尔 |
| [12:04] | From inside my car in a parking lot. He’s a big guy. | 从我停着的车里喊的 那家伙块儿太大 |
| [12:08] | Just… | 实在 |
| [12:09] | Come here. We got your back. | 来吧 我们支持你 |
| [12:10] | Ah, thank you, guys. | 谢谢你们 |
| [12:13] | It really hurts. | 真的太痛苦了 |
| [12:15] | You’re stepping on my foot– please. | 你踩到我脚上了 |
| [12:16] | Oh, sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [12:17] | Hey, Rock, you want to get in on this? | 闺蜜 你要来吗 |
| [12:19] | Yeah, you’re one of us. | 是啊 你是我们的一员 |
| [12:22] | What? | 什么 |
| [12:23] | Yeah, you’re just like us. | 你跟我们一样 |
| [12:24] | I’m not like you guys at all. | 我跟你们才不一样 |
| [12:26] | Not at all. | 一点都不一样 |
| [12:27] | Like, not at all at all. | 不一样的那种不一样 |
| [12:30] | What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
| [12:31] | Look at yourselves. | 瞧瞧你们自己 |
| [12:33] | You guys are just a bunch of pathetic sad sacks. | 你们就是一群可怜虫 |
| [12:36] | Oh, no, no, no. It’s called a hugwad. | 不不不 这叫抱友圈 |
| [12:37] | We do ’em at the ferret handlers’ convention. | 雪貂饲主会也会有这种东西 |
| [12:39] | I don’t think she understands. | 我觉得她不理解 |
| [12:40] | Excuse me. Of course I understand. | 我当然理解了 |
| [12:43] | My husband left me, too. | 我老公也甩了我 |
| [12:44] | But I moved on. | 但我熬过去了 |
| [12:46] | Sulking in some hugwad isn’t getting you guys any closer | 在抱友圈里哭泣才不会让你们更加接近 |
| [12:50] | to the life you want. It’s keeping you from it. | 你们想要的生活 反而会阻止你 |
| [12:52] | You shouldn’t define yourself as separated and divorced dudes. | 你们不该把自己当作分居与离婚男 |
| [12:56] | You should just be, like… | 你们该把自己当作 比如 |
| [13:00] | dudes. | 男 |
| [13:02] | Wait. Wait-wait-wait-wait- wait-wait-wait! | 等等 等等 等等 |
| [13:06] | Show us how. Show us how to be dudes. | 教我们 教我们怎么当男人 |
| [13:11] | Guys, everyone, stay in the hugwad, please. | 同志们 回到抱友圈 拜托 |
| [13:19] | But we just got these silkscreened. | 可我们刚把这些印出来 |
| [13:35] | Kim! | 金姆 |
| [13:38] | Kim… | 金姆 |
| [13:43] | Yeah, that’s good, | 好着呢 |
| [13:43] | ’cause I think it’s better | 因为我觉得如果准确些 |
| [13:44] | when you get really specific about it. | 效果会更好 |
| [13:46] | Wow, I was sure you would be long gone. | 我还以为你早走了呢 |
| [13:50] | Well, I had to help. | 我得帮忙 |
| [13:51] | I’m having them send an accidental text to their ex. | 我让他们每个人都给前任”错”发短信 |
| [13:54] | It’s pretty genius. Ned, Ned, come here, honey. | 太机智了 内德 来 亲爱的 |
| [13:57] | Why don’t you read yours? | 念念你的 |
| [13:59] | Oh. Um, “Hey, lover, the sex last night was great.” | 甜甜 昨晚太性福了 |
| [14:02] | And then a minute later he sends a follow-up text. | 过一分钟他要接着发一条短信 |
| [14:04] | “Oops. Sorry, that was meant for someone else.” | 不好意思 发错了 |
| [14:07] | – Nice. – I-I-I-I-I feel healthier already. | -不错 -我已经觉得好多了 |
| [14:10] | Mm-hmm. Sometimes you don’t choose being a hero. | 有时你没法选择当一个英雄 |
| [14:13] | Being a hero chooses you. | 英雄会找上门来当你 |
| [14:14] | You know what? I’m impressed. | 给大神跪了 |
| [14:16] | You are human… ish. | 你想有点人气儿了 |
| [14:20] | How about that? | 这个怎么样 |
| [14:21] | Well, it’s not perfect, but, you know, it will do. | 不是很好 不过够用了 |
| [14:24] | I could say the same about you. | 也可以这么形容你 |
| [14:26] | Oh, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [14:30] | You can’t write, “I still love you, Carla.” | 你不能写 我还爱着你 卡拉 |
| [14:31] | – It doesn’t work. – You doesn’t work! | -这不管用 -你不管用 |
| [14:34] | – What is wrong with you? – I want my tissues back. | -你什么毛病啊 -纸巾还我 |
| [14:37] | No! I did not shed one tear over my ex. | 不 我没为前任流一滴泪 |
| [14:39] | – You don’t need them. – Yes, I do need them! | -你不需要它们 -我需要它们 |
| [14:42] | You may be my rock, | 也许你是我的闺蜜 |
| [14:43] | but these dudes are my pillow to cry into. | 但这些哥们儿是一剂中药 |
| [14:45] | And I don’t want rocks in my pillow. | 哪有中药里掺蜜的 |
| [14:48] | I’m not ready to move on. You’re ruining everything! | 我熬不过去 都怪你 |
| [14:50] | I just want you to be as healthy as I am. | 我只是想让你跟我一样放开 |
| [14:52] | It’s called tough love. | 这叫坚强的爱 |
| [14:53] | I don’t want tough love. | 我不要坚强的爱 |
| [14:54] | I want very, very soft love. | 我要温柔的爱 |
| [14:56] | And if you’re so healthy, why did you use me | 如果你放开了 那你为什么还要利用我 |
| [14:58] | to get in this group so you can meet somebody? | 进入这个团体来找人约会 |
| [15:01] | What? No. | 哪里有 |
| [15:02] | I saw your little flirty routine. | 我把你那调戏计划都看在眼里 |
| [15:04] | “Oh, my God, games are for later!” | 天啊 等下再作游戏 |
| [15:06] | I went to Stanford… for two years. | 我读过斯坦福 两年 |
| [15:09] | You don’t even know what you’re talking about. | 你知道你在说些什么吗 |
| [15:11] | You’re not my rock anymore. | 你不是我闺蜜了 |
| [15:12] | You are fired! | 你被解雇了 |
| [15:18] | Just to clarify, you’re fired as my rock. | 澄清一下 你作为闺蜜被解雇了 |
| [15:20] | Your job is safe. I’m not allowed to fire another teacher | 工作还在 我没法不经学校董事会同意 |
| [15:22] | without school board approval. | 就解雇老师 |
| [15:31] | I’m really flattered that you chose me to be your new soft rock. | 很荣幸能做你的新闺蜜 |
| [15:34] | Just not really sure why. | 就是有些不知为何 |
| [15:35] | – You’re the first teacher I saw. – Okay, cool. | -你是我见的第一个老师 -原来如此 |
| [15:38] | Um, are we gonna be done soon? | 还要保持多久 |
| [15:39] | Because, you know, the rest of the kids are showing up. | 剩下的孩子马上就要到了 |
| [15:42] | Pretty soon. Man, last night was rough. | 马上 天啊 昨晚太难熬了 |
| [15:45] | I ate an entire Cracker Barrel. | 我吃了一整桶饼干 |
| [15:46] | I didn’t even know that was a real thing. | 我原来都不知道还真有卖的 |
| [15:48] | Hmm. What do I do now? | 我现在该怎么办 |
| [15:51] | Laps. Run lots of laps. | 跑圈 跑好多好多圈 |
| [15:53] | The answer is always laps. | 跑圈治百病 |
| [15:55] | Hey, what’s going on? Did you break him? | 什么情况 你把他玩坏了吗 |
| [15:56] | It’s okay. | 没什么 |
| [15:57] | I’m gonna fix him. | 我会治好他的 |
| [15:58] | Just say good-bye to sad, pathetic Principal Carl. | 准备和忧伤悲催的卡尔校长说再见吧 |
| [16:01] | Oh, my God, you’re gonna kill Principal Carl. | 天啊 你要杀了卡尔校长 |
| [16:03] | No. Look, I’m helping him. I’m just not done yet. | 不 我要帮他 只是还没帮完 |
| [16:06] | It’s all part of the plan that I’m still working on. | 全在计划之中 |
| [16:09] | Why don’t you get him to the cafeteria after school, okay? | 放了学帮我把他整到餐厅 |
| [16:11] | Yeah. | 好的 |
| [16:13] | I need Kim back. | 我要金姆 |
| [16:16] | Um, why would I give Kim back? | 我为什么要把金姆还给你 |
| [16:17] | Because I have something you want. | 因为我有你想要的 |
| [16:20] | All right, let me see. | 好的 让我看看 |
| [16:29] | I don’t know. I kind of think I want to keep Kim. She’s great. | 可我有点想留住金姆 她太棒了 |
| [16:33] | I don’t have to be here to turn her on in the mornings, | 每天早上我不用把她启动 |
| [16:36] | and she just learned how to massage both of my feet | 而且她刚刚学会同时 |
| [16:39] | at the same time! | 按摩双脚 |
| [16:41] | Big hands. | 手大 |
| [16:42] | Trust me, the TV is much better. | 相信我 电视好得多 |
| [16:44] | Why do you want Kim back so bad? | 你为什么这么想要金姆回去 |
| [16:49] | Sharing a pedometer has become incredibly difficult. | 共用一个计步器行不通 |
| [16:52] | Okay, okay, I’ll take the TV back, but I need | 好吧 我收回电视 但我要 |
| [16:55] | you guys to fill in for me after school. | 你们放了学给我代班 |
| [16:57] | Fill in where? | 代哪儿的班 |
| [16:59] | Now I have two chaperones? Great. | 现在有俩人监督我了 极好的 |
| [17:04] | Again! Again! | 再一遍 再一遍 |
| [17:08] | Wait a minute. | 等等 |
| [17:10] | This doesn’t look like a nice quiet place | 这看起来不像适合谈话的 |
| [17:11] | that’s great for real talking. | 安静的好地方 |
| [17:13] | Yeah, sorry. I promised I’d get you here. | 对不起 我答应过要把你带来 |
| [17:15] | Carl, we’re all here because we want you to move on. | 卡尔 我们在这儿是想让你挺住 |
| [17:20] | So I’ve contacted Carla, | 我联系卡拉了 |
| [17:22] | and she’s agreed to a conference call. | 她同意打电话过来 |
| [17:23] | – What? – And so did the guy | -什么 -还有那个 |
| [17:25] | – she cheated on you with. What?! | -她出轨的对象 -搞毛啊 |
| [17:27] | I told her you were in a boating accident. | 我给她说你出了船运事故 |
| [17:28] | She should be calling any minute. | 很快她就会打电话过来 |
| [17:30] | But I fired you as my rock. | 可我把你作为闺蜜解雇了 |
| [17:32] | Well, you can’t fire me as your rock. | 你不能把我作为闺蜜解雇 |
| [17:34] | I’m sorry, but I don’t care about these dudes. | 对不起 不过我才不在乎这些人 |
| [17:36] | Why would you say that? | 为什么要这么说 |
| [17:37] | Okay, sorry, | 对不起 |
| [17:38] | but you and I get each other. | 但咱们俩互相了解 |
| [17:40] | I don’t want you being dumped | 我不想让你被甩这件事 |
| [17:42] | to be the defining moment in your life. | 成为你生活的核心 |
| [17:44] | Trust me, this will help. | 相信我 会有效的 |
| [17:46] | I don’t need to talk to Carla. | 我不需要跟卡拉说话 |
| [17:47] | That’s why I have the group! | 这就是为何我组建了小组 |
| [17:49] | You had no right contacting her. | 你没权利联系她 |
| [17:51] | I had all the right. | 我有所有权利 |
| [17:52] | You are living a pathetic existence | 你是个无比悲剧的可怜虫 |
| [17:55] | hoping that your old life just knocks on your door. | 奢望着你过去的生活重新敲响你的房门 |
| [17:57] | Uh, no, I’m not, because first of all, | 不 我不是 首先 |
| [17:59] | I don’t have a door. I have a string of beads. | 我没房门 只有门帘 |
| [18:01] | Stop making excuses! | 别找借口了 |
| [18:02] | Get on that party line with Carla | 接起卡拉的电话 |
| [18:04] | and tell her she ruined your life! | 告诉她她把你的生活毁了 |
| [18:06] | That you had everything, and now it’s gone! | 告诉她你曾有一切 现在一无所有 |
| [18:09] | And you are stuck with nothing at a crap job | 告诉她你陷在一份烂工作里 |
| [18:12] | while that slut drives around in your Mercedes convertible! | 此时正有一婊开着你的奔驰敞篷车 |
| [18:17] | – Excuse me? – There’s no guarantee | -你说什么 -没有什么能保证 |
| [18:18] | that life will turn out the way you want it to! | 生活会走上你想让它走上的轨道 |
| [18:21] | Even though you are hot | 就算你性感 |
| [18:24] | and have a great rack! | 身材火辣 |
| [18:29] | Hey, divorced dudes, let’s hit up Juanita’s. | 离婚的同志 去胡安妮塔酒吧来一杯 |
| [18:32] | First pitcher of margaritas on me, | 我请第一轮鸡尾酒 |
| [18:34] | second through fifth, I will not be around for. Come on. | 剩下的几轮你们自己买单 走吧 |
| [18:38] | However great my rack may be, | 不管我身材多好 |
| [18:42] | I think this is really about you. | 我觉得这一切还是在说你 |
| [18:44] | No. Uh-uh. | 不 |
| [18:47] | I… | 我 |
| [18:50] | I’m fine, okay? | 我好着呢 |
| [18:52] | I am totally… | 我绝对 |
| [18:55] | …totally… fine. | 绝对 好着呢 |
| [19:01] | Oh, the gum’s in there pretty good. | 口香糖黏得太紧了 |
| [19:04] | Do you want me to try to chew it out? | 你要我帮你把它咬出来吗 |
| [19:06] | Why are you guys chaperoning today? | 为什么你们今天送我们 |
| [19:08] | Ginny did it to get me back. | 金妮为了要回我 |
| [19:10] | – She likes me. – Kim, enough! | -她喜欢我 -金姆 够了 |
| [19:12] | No pedometer could measure how far we went today. | 计步器都无法衡量我们今天取得的进展 |
| [19:17] | I really thought I had moved on. | 我还以为我熬过去了 |
| [19:20] | I thought I was over Ray. | 我以为我忘掉雷了 |
| [19:23] | And then seeing his new girlfriend driving my car, | 可一看到他的新女友开着我的车 |
| [19:26] | I just realized there’s no going back | 我才发现我没法回到 |
| [19:29] | to my old life. | 过去的生活了 |
| [19:31] | This is… | 这才是 |
| [19:33] | really where I’m at right now. | 这才是我现在的生活 |
| [19:36] | Maybe it’s not so bad. | 也没有那么惨吧 |
| [19:38] | No, it is. | 有那么惨 |
| [19:59] | After the text yesterday, my ex called right away. | 昨天发完短信 前任立马就给我打电话 |
| [20:02] | Yeah, mine-mine, too. | 我的也是 |
| [20:03] | – Then what’d you do? – Let it go to voice mail. | -你们怎么处理的 -转到语音信箱 |
| [20:07] | And then I called her right back, | 然后我立马就回了她电话 |
| [20:08] | but still a huge victory. | 不过也是一大胜利 |
| [20:10] | I haven’t been on a date since my divorce. | 自从离了婚我都没约过会 |
| [20:12] | But maybe you and I could go on a real first date sometime. | 不过咱俩可以来第一次真实的约会 |
| [20:17] | Well, I’ve been on a lot of first dates. | 我有过好多”第一次约会”了 |
| [20:20] | But how about we go on a second date? | 直接第二次约会如何 |
| [20:27] | It’s cool, you really did help those dudes. | 不错 你真的帮到了这些人 |
| [20:29] | So, are you, like, an unofficial member of the group now? | 所以你是这个小组的不正式成员吗 |
| [20:33] | I am an official member of the group. | 我是正式成员 |
| [20:36] | I’d love to see you in that shirt. | 挺想看你穿这件衣服 |
| [20:38] | I’d also love to see you out of that shirt. | 也想看你脱掉这件衣服 |
| [20:40] | I’ve already hit rock bottom once today. | 今天我可是跌到谷底了 |
| [20:42] | Here’s to moving on. | 敬熬过去的人 |
| [20:44] | Hey! To moving on! | 熬过去 |
| [20:46] | To moving on! | 熬过去 |
| [20:48] | To moving on! | 熬过去 |
| [20:51] | Now who wants to do shots | 咱们一起狂饮 |
| [20:53] | and leave nasty messages on my ex’s voice mail? | 再给我前任留恶毒留言吧 |