| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | You know, I’ve heard that a lot of women have a fantasy | 我听说许多女人都幻想着 |
| [00:06] | about sleeping with the gym teacher. | 和体育老师上床 |
| [00:08] | – Oh, really? – Yeah. | -真的吗 -真的 |
| [00:09] | Well, I’ve heard a lot of women lie to guys | 我听说许多女人会对没钱途的男人说谎 |
| [00:11] | with crappy jobs to make them feel better. | 好让他们心里好过一些 |
| [00:15] | I’m heading home. | 我要回家了 |
| [00:16] | What? Tonight’s the 6th Grade Lock-In. | 今天可是六年级留校过夜的日子 |
| [00:18] | It’s the big old slumber party at school. | 是学校盛大传统的过夜派对 |
| [00:20] | Ugh, that’s right. I’m just gonna volunteer | 是的 所以我申请做厕所监管 |
| [00:22] | for bathroom duty so I can sneak out. | 这样我好偷偷溜掉 |
| [00:24] | If anyone asks, I’m in the can by the library. | 要是有人问起 就说我在图书馆那儿的厕所里 |
| [00:26] | The most surprising thing about what you just said | 你刚一堆话最大的亮点就是 |
| [00:28] | is that you know where the library is. | 你竟然知道图书馆在哪里 |
| [00:31] | Hey, you got any plans for tomorrow night? | 明天晚上有什么安排吗 |
| [00:32] | I bought two tickets to the Wilco concert. | 我买了两张威尔可合唱团演唱会的票 |
| [00:34] | Ugh, they charge for those? | 那东西还要钱 |
| [00:36] | Wha… I didn’t know you hated Wilco. | 你不知道不喜欢威尔可 |
| [00:38] | Well, I’m a human, and I’ve heard Wilco, | 我是个人 我听过威尔可的歌 |
| [00:40] | so, um, of course I hate them. | 我当然不喜欢他们了 |
| [00:43] | Wait, are you asking me on a date? | 话说你是在邀我约会吗 |
| [00:45] | Well, we are sleeping together. | 我们的确一起滚床单了 |
| [00:46] | Uh, we’re just sleeping together. | 我们只是滚床单 |
| [00:49] | We are just colleagues who just sleep together. Mostly… | 我们只是一起滚床单的单纯同事 而且多数 |
| [00:53] | just at work. | 是在工作时间 |
| [00:55] | No, no. I’ve been to your place and you’ve driven by my place, | 不 我去过你家 你也来过我家 |
| [00:58] | just refused to come in. | 只不过不肯进门 |
| [00:59] | I might be at a low point, | 我或许是在人生低谷 |
| [01:01] | but I’m not low enough to have sex with you | 但也没堕落到在离你舍友 |
| [01:03] | with your roommate, like, three feet away. | 一米的地方和你上床 |
| [01:08] | So, my place next week? | 那下周去我家吗 |
| [01:11] | Hey, Coach Donnie. | 你好啊 唐尼教练 |
| [01:13] | Nice hustle. | “干”得好 |
| [01:14] | Thank you. | 过奖了 |
| [01:36] | Okay folks, it’s almost time for the 6th Grade Lock-In, | 同事们 六年级留校过夜即将开始 |
| [01:39] | which I despise. | 我很烦躁 |
| [01:41] | Years ago, an idealistic young principal | 许多年前 一个充满理想 |
| [01:43] | with a full head of hair | 有着头发的年轻校长 |
| [01:44] | thought it’d be a great reward for the class food drive. | 认为留校过夜是对同学捐赠食物的奖励 |
| [01:47] | Now the bald shell of that man | 如今 这个顶着光壳的男人 |
| [01:49] | would like to travel back in time | 真想穿越回去 |
| [01:50] | and kick that guy in the face. | 给那家伙脸上来一记佛山无影脚 |
| [01:51] | Hormonal tweens staying up all night | 荷尔蒙飙升的年轻人彻夜不眠 |
| [01:55] | is a recipe for drama. | 简直就是年度抓马汇演 |
| [01:57] | Kids think of it as a magical time. | 孩子们认为那是美好时光 |
| [02:00] | Lot of high expectations. | 期待很高 |
| [02:01] | You’re gonna see hookups, | 到时候会有各种勾搭 |
| [02:03] | breakups, lot of hurt feelings. | 各种分手 各种一哭二闹三上吊 |
| [02:05] | I’ve been having panic attacks all week. | 我一整周都焦虑捉急 |
| [02:08] | That’s why my assistant Janet here is gonna help me through. | 因此我的助手珍妮特会来帮我 |
| [02:11] | Yeah, so, at my school, we had a lock-in every night. | 在我的学校 天天都能留校过夜 |
| [02:15] | Course, that was because | 当然 那是因为 |
| [02:16] | I was homeschooled with my five siblings. | 我和五个兄弟姐妹在家里自学 |
| [02:18] | But tonight is going to rock. | 但是今夜一定会很赞 |
| [02:21] | When you’re dragging a urine-filled sleeping bag | 当你在凌晨三点把一只灌满尿液的睡袋 |
| [02:23] | to the garbage at 3:00 a.m. That’ll change your tune. | 拽向垃圾箱 你就不会这么想了 |
| [02:25] | Yeah, I’ve apologized for that, like, a gazillion times. | 千万次 我向您致歉 |
| [02:28] | Besides, they were just urine samples. | 再说 那些只是尿样 |
| [02:31] | Thank you. | 谢谢大家 |
| [02:32] | Okay, Janet’s gonna go through everyone’s | 珍妮特会确认每个人 |
| [02:34] | duties for tonight’s, uh, lock-in. | 在今晚留校过夜的任务 |
| [02:36] | Yeah, so, we’ve got Ginny and Kim on prank watch. | 金妮和金姆负责恶作剧监察 |
| [02:39] | I love pranks. | 我超爱恶作剧 |
| [02:40] | Once, I hid my neighbor’s dog, Buttons, | 有一次我把邻居家的狗扣扣藏了起来 |
| [02:42] | and I put her dog collar on this brisket | 然后我把狗项圈挂到一块胸肉上 |
| [02:45] | and I put it on their porch… | 再放到他们家门口… |
| [02:46] | Kim. Anti-prank watch. | 金姆 是监察恶作剧不会发生 |
| [02:49] | It’s where all the real action is. | 他们都是玩真的 |
| [02:52] | – Right. And, oh, uh, sorry, Coach Donnie? – Yeah. | -不好意思 唐尼教练 -怎么 |
| [02:55] | – “Crushing it” is not a duty. – I know. It’s an honor. | -“屌炸天”可算不上任务 -我知道 那是荣幸 |
| [02:58] | Maybe you’d be honored to know that the coaches | 也许对你来说荣幸的是体育老师 |
| [03:00] | are on s’mores station. | 负责准备点心 |
| [03:01] | S’mores. Can do that. | 点心 没问题 |
| [03:05] | Eat that, Jeff. | 傻了吧 杰夫 |
| [03:06] | No, Jeff, that’s okay. | 没事 杰夫 |
| [03:08] | You’re fine. | 你好着呢 |
| [03:09] | Um… Oh, Irene is heading up Safety Patrol. | 艾琳要组织安全巡逻队 |
| [03:13] | Uh, we’re gonna start with a presentation. | 我们要做个开场演出 |
| [03:15] | I don’t want to give anything away, but… | 我不想剧透 不过 |
| [03:17] | gonna be gangsta. | 表演碉堡了 |
| [03:19] | Which is slang for gangster. | 碉堡是屌爆的别称 |
| [03:22] | And organizing the costumes for the teachers’ skit is Meredith. | 梅瑞迪丝要负责教师小品的服装 |
| [03:27] | Oh. I think there was a mistake. | 你搞错了吧 |
| [03:29] | I’m actually on bathroom duty. | 我是负责监管厕所的 |
| [03:31] | It’s to make sure that the kids aren’t frenching | 我要确保孩子们没在那里 |
| [03:32] | or having babies in there or something. | 激吻啊 造人啊 什么的 |
| [03:35] | It happens. | 时有发生 |
| [03:36] | Yeah. No, that’s fine. | 好吧 |
| [03:37] | I-I can take costumes. | 我来负责服装 |
| [03:39] | I was the lead in my homeschool play every year. | 我以前年年都是家里戏剧表演的角儿 |
| [03:42] | Before we adopted Blanca. | 布兰卡被领养后就不一样了 |
| [03:44] | Okay, gang, we’ve got to get rolling. | 弟兄们 俺们要开工了 |
| [03:46] | Really Can’t put this off much longer | 不能再拖了 |
| [03:48] | I just want to let you guys know | 给你们提前说明一下 |
| [03:50] | that tonight’s gonna be hell on earth. | 今夜将如炼狱一般 |
| [04:01] | Good luck, everyone. | 祝大家好运 |
| [04:07] | Attention, sixth graders. | 同学们请注意 |
| [04:09] | You are now officially locked in. | 你们已被正式锁在学校里过夜啦 |
| [04:14] | So let’s all have a big hand for… | 现在有请 |
| [04:17] | – What if there’s a fire? – You can still get out. | -起火了怎么办 -你还是能逃出去 |
| [04:20] | The doors are locked to keep people | 锁门是为了把人关在外面 |
| [04:21] | from the outside getting in. | 不是把你们关在里面 |
| [04:22] | Now let’s give a big hand… | 现在让我们有请 |
| [04:25] | What if emergency personnel need to get in? | 紧急救援人员要进来怎么办 |
| [04:27] | James. These are your happy years. | 詹姆斯 趁你还没成高中猪 大学狗 |
| [04:29] | Please, just try and enjoy them. | 好好享受人生吧 |
| [04:30] | Now let’s give a big hand | 现在让我们有请 |
| [04:32] | for the Safety Patrol aka House of No Pain. | 安全巡逻员 又名无痛人员 |
| [04:36] | Yeah, safety break. | 安全时刻 |
| [04:39] | It’s time to raise the roof. | 是时候嗨翻屋顶了 |
| [04:42] | Yo, yo, yo. We’re the Safety Patrol, | 切克闹 我们是安全巡逻员 |
| [04:44] | Yo, yo, yo, we’re the Safety Patrol. | 切克闹 我们是安全巡逻员 |
| [04:46] | Well, at least they’re better than Wilco. | 她们唱得至少比威尔可好 |
| [04:48] | You unload that ticket yet? | 你卖掉那些票了吗 |
| [04:50] | No. Why? You… You change your mind? | 没有 你改变主意了吗 |
| [04:52] | Um, it’s still you. | 你还是你 |
| [04:54] | And it’s still Wilco. | 威尔可还是威尔可 |
| [04:55] | So, no. | 我还是不去 |
| [04:56] | Okay, well, I’m gonna ask somebody else. | 好吧 我去问问别人去不去 |
| [04:58] | – A girl. – Great. I don’t care. | -找个女伴 -随意 老娘才不在乎 |
| [05:00] | We aren’t anything to each other. | 我们之间毫无关系 |
| [05:03] | Okay? You provide a service for me. | 你为我提供服务 |
| [05:05] | I mean, if it’ll make you feel better, | 如果能让你心里小激动 |
| [05:07] | I’d be happy to write you a positive review on Yelp. | 我可以在淘宝上给你个好评 |
| [05:10] | Who are we? | 我们是谁 |
| [05:11] | One, two, three. | 切 克 闹 |
| [05:13] | Safety Patrol! | 安全巡逻员 |
| [05:14] | Losers. | 傻逼 |
| [05:19] | Who is throwing eggs? | 是谁在扔蛋蛋 |
| [05:21] | I can’t see because of the light. | 光太强我看不清 |
| [05:23] | All right, everybody go to dinner. Pizza’s in the library. | 大家去吃晚饭吧 图书馆有披萨 |
| [05:25] | Refreshments are at the, um, water fountain. | 饮水池旁有点心 |
| [05:28] | I’m out. | 我撤了 |
| [05:29] | No running. No running. | 不要跑 不要跑 |
| [05:31] | No comedic fast-walking, James Pfaff. | 也不要逗逼式竞走 詹姆斯·普法夫 |
| [05:35] | I’m sorry about these eggs. | 真抱歉他们扔了这些蛋蛋 |
| [05:37] | Hi. I’m Dale. I’m-I’m Lyle’s dad, and I’m a… | 我叫戴尔 我是莱尔的父亲 我是 |
| [05:40] | a volunteer chaperone tonight. | 今晚的志愿监护人 |
| [05:42] | Uh, the boys said that there was gonna be an omelet bar. | 孩子们给我说今晚要做煎蛋 |
| [05:45] | I should have asked more questions. | 我该问清楚的 |
| [05:47] | I’m Irene. Safety Patrol. | 我叫艾琳 安全巡逻员 |
| [05:49] | Oh. Hello. | 很高兴认识你 |
| [05:52] | Kim. | 金姆 |
| [05:53] | This is the perfect time for a prank inspection. | 监察恶作剧的时辰到了 |
| [06:00] | What is that? | 这是什么 |
| [06:03] | Open it. | 掀开来 |
| [06:10] | I knew it. | 我早就知道 |
| [06:12] | This amount of toilet paper | 这么多的厕纸 |
| [06:13] | can only be used for one thing. | 肯定是被用来 |
| [06:16] | – Explosive dia… – Pranking, Kim. | -打飞机 -恶作剧 金姆 |
| [06:19] | Pranking. | 用来恶作剧 |
| [06:22] | I got this group. | 这里的披萨交给我 |
| [06:24] | Ugh. I’m starving. | 饿死了 |
| [06:26] | Hey, look, it’s the Safety Pale-Trolls. | 快看啊 是安全巡逻猿 |
| [06:33] | You guys, come on. | 别耷拉着脸 |
| [06:35] | You have to admit it’s kind of funny. | 这蛮搞笑的 |
| [06:36] | This sucks. | 逊爆了 |
| [06:37] | I mean, the 6th Grade Lock-In | 六年级留校过夜 |
| [06:39] | is supposed to be a night of magic. | 本该是一段美好时光 |
| [06:41] | I wish those mean boys weren’t here. | 真希望那些讨厌的男生不在这里 |
| [06:43] | Oh, yeah. But I am happy that Lyle’s dad is here. | 我挺庆幸莱尔的老爸在这里 |
| [06:46] | He’s really nice. Plus he’s got a sexy name. | 他人超好 名字也超性感 |
| [06:49] | Dale. | 戴尔[大诶] |
| [06:51] | Can you believe he’s single? | 他居然还是单身 |
| [06:53] | OMG, Irene. | 苍了个天 艾琳 |
| [06:55] | – Why don’t you ask him out on a date? – Oh, no. | -为什么不约他出去 -不要啦 |
| [06:57] | Our mom taught us three girls to play hard to get. | 我妈教导我女生该矜持一些 |
| [07:00] | No one’s caught us yet, and Janine’s almost 50. | 没有人比我们更矜持 珍妮都快五十了 |
| [07:03] | Well, the good news is, we ruined some prankster’s night. | 我们破坏了一些小坏蛋的阴谋 |
| [07:07] | One more roll. | 最后一卷 |
| [07:13] | Swish. Yes. | 投 中 |
| [07:21] | I forgot my keys. | 我把钥匙落里面了 |
| [07:23] | – Kim! – Ginny. | -金姆 -金妮 |
| [07:27] | I am so sorry. | 对不起 |
| [07:28] | I just got caught up in the moment. | 词在嘴上 不得不发 |
| [07:30] | Hey. Everybody? | 有人吗 |
| [07:38] | I better get to, uh, | 我该去那什么 |
| [07:40] | “Bathroom duty.” | 监管厕所了 |
| [07:42] | I’ll see you clowns on Monday. | 女屌们周一见哦 |
| [07:44] | Oh, oh, let’s try this one. Oh. | 试试这扇门 |
| [07:48] | Later, sucka. | 再见 男屌 |
| [07:53] | Why is Joel talking to Puffy Vest? | 乔尔怎么在和泡芙衫说话 |
| [07:56] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [07:58] | Everybody’s looking for a place to dock their boat. | 浪子总有归巢时 |
| [08:00] | Okay, what about Wilco? Do you like Wilco? | 威尔可怎么样 喜欢吗 |
| [08:02] | Uh, is there anyone in the world who does not like Wilco? | 世上有人不喜欢威尔可吗 |
| [08:05] | Thank you. | 赞 |
| [08:09] | Oh, sweet Kenny Rogers. | 这下黄海波了 |
| [08:14] | We’re locked out of the Lock-In. | 我们得留校外过夜了 |
| [08:22] | Oh, you decided to stay. Why? | 你打算留下来了 为什么啊 |
| [08:25] | You know when you decide you hate an item of clothing | 还记得有时候你不再喜欢一件衣服 |
| [08:28] | so you give it to your maid? | 然后就送给你的闺蜜 |
| [08:30] | And then you see your maid wearing it | 你看着闺蜜穿着那件衣服 |
| [08:32] | and you’re like, “Why’d I ever give it away? | 就在想 我为毛要送给她呢 |
| [08:33] | Because it looked so much better on me?” | 就因为它在我身上更好看吗 |
| [08:36] | Yeah. Totally. I totally get that. | 秒懂 |
| [08:39] | Totally happens all the time. | 这常发生在我身上 |
| [08:48] | Hey there, homeschool skillet. | 你好啊 家养的妹子 |
| [08:52] | I love your puffy vest. | 我好喜欢你的泡芙衫哦 |
| [08:54] | Everyone looks good puffy. | 泡芙什么的最好看了啦 |
| [08:56] | Aren’t you on bathroom duty? | 你不是该监管厕所吗 |
| [08:57] | Oh, I have a few minutes. | 现在正闲 |
| [08:59] | I was just consoling some crying girls | 我刚在安慰几个女生 |
| [09:01] | and helping a few with their first periods. | 又帮另几个对付她们姨妈 |
| [09:04] | It’s just… so beautiful. | 胸前的红领巾 更鲜艳了 |
| [09:08] | Coach Kotsky? Coach Hotsky? | 考茨基教练 好死基教练 |
| [09:12] | What’s happening, girlfriend? | 你们是什么情况 |
| [09:13] | Are you having sexy times with the coach or what? | 和教练的性福时光 |
| [09:17] | Listen, I think you can do better. | 我感觉你配得上更好的 |
| [09:19] | I mean, Joel is great. | 乔尔虽然很棒 |
| [09:21] | But he’s… poor. | 但他很穷 |
| [09:22] | Like, “He goes on vacation in a car” Poor. | 就是只能在车上度假那种穷 |
| [09:26] | He’s so cute. | 他很帅啊 |
| [09:28] | Oh, and he’s great with kids, too. | 而且他和小朋友关系很好 |
| [09:31] | W… You… if you care about kids… | 如果你喜欢小朋友 |
| [09:35] | You… C… Coach Donnie. | 唐尼老师 |
| [09:37] | Oh, my God, he is fantastic with kids. | 他和小朋友关系好到爆 |
| [09:41] | He actually has the IQ of a child, | 其实他的智商跟小朋友差不多 |
| [09:43] | so he treats them like equals, because they are. | 所以他会平等对待小朋友 |
| [09:46] | Yeah, I don’t really think that… | 我不这么觉得 |
| [09:47] | Uh, don’t… Don’t. | 别拒绝 |
| [09:48] | I think it could be super beautiful. | 我觉得你们是一对儿 |
| [09:52] | You’re doing a great job. | 继续努力 |
| [09:57] | Hey, listen, I got a little extra room in my sleeping bag. | 我的睡袋还有那么点儿空间 |
| [10:00] | I bought it before I got the old lap band, so… | 我是在做缩胃手术之前买的 所以 |
| [10:02] | – If you’re interested. – I’m not interested. | -如果你有兴趣尝试 -一点儿兴趣也没有 |
| [10:05] | Uh, did you just have some weird conversation with Janet? | 你刚是不是给珍妮特瞎说了些什么 |
| [10:09] | Are you jealous or something? | 你是不是嫉妒了 |
| [10:12] | Of Puffy Vest Girl? Eh, no. | 嫉妒泡芙衫 怎么可能 |
| [10:14] | And by the way, she’s wearing that vest | 话说她穿那件泡芙衫 |
| [10:15] | to cover up the fact that that, | 是为了掩盖 |
| [10:17] | um, kid over there has bigger boobs than she does. | 她的胸还没那个小孩大这个事实 |
| [10:19] | Okay, look, you’re the one that said we aren’t anything, | 是你说的我们之间一点关系也没有 |
| [10:22] | so you don’t get to be jealous. | 所以你没理由犯嫉妒 |
| [10:24] | I’m a former Miss Teen Yorba Glinda. | 我可是当年怡红院的头牌儿 |
| [10:26] | I am not jealous. | 我才没嫉妒 |
| [10:27] | – I really don’t care. – Okay. | -我真心不在意 -好吧 |
| [10:30] | Oh, I forgot to tell you, | 差点忘了跟你说 |
| [10:32] | I’ve been sleeping with Coach Donnie. | 我一直在和唐尼教练滚床单呢 |
| [10:36] | You are not sleeping with Coach Donnie. | 你才没有 |
| [10:38] | I’d know. Coach Donnie tells us everything. | 不然我会知道 唐尼教练啥都跟我们说 |
| [10:41] | Even the stuff he does alone. | 就算是自撸也要分享 |
| [10:42] | I like to contribute to the conversation. | 我喜欢投入到对话里去 |
| [10:44] | Well, we just love to talk about space exploration. | 我们我们超爱聊太空探险 |
| [10:47] | – Yeah, uh, economy. – Economy. | -对 还有经济 -经济 |
| [10:50] | Sometimes we say the same thing at the same time. | 有时候我们就是默契到会异口同声 |
| [10:54] | I like her boobs. Both of ’em. | 我喜欢她的胸器 左右两边爱 |
| [10:57] | – Okay. See you guys. – Donnie. | -好吧 回见 -唐尼 |
| [11:00] | Stop! You’re tickling me! | 不要啦 你弄得人家好痒 |
| [11:01] | See? I knew we were vibing. | 看吧 我就知道我们很合拍 |
| [11:03] | Shut up, Donnie. | 闭嘴 唐尼 |
| [11:04] | There must be so much pranking. | 肯定还有很多恶作剧 |
| [11:06] | Swirlies, “Kick me” Signs, | 把人按进马桶 “踹我吧”纸条 |
| [11:09] | uncooked clams hiding in rucksacks. | 背包里藏着的生蛤蜊 |
| [11:12] | They don’t even know we’re gone. | 他们都不知道我们不见了 |
| [11:14] | Everybody hates prank watch. | 所有人都讨厌恶作剧监察人 |
| [11:18] | That’s not true. | 才不是呢 |
| [11:19] | Come on. | 来吧 |
| [11:20] | We’re gonna get in there. | 我们得回去 |
| [11:21] | What are you doing? | 你干什么 |
| [11:25] | That’s a good idea. | 好主意哎 |
| [11:28] | Get their attention! | 引起他们的注意 |
| [11:29] | Hello?! | 喂喂 |
| [11:31] | Let us in! Hey! Everybody! | 让我们进去 大伙儿 |
| [11:35] | Where is Ginny? She’s supposed to play the hero of the skit. | 金妮在哪 她本该演小品里的英雄的 |
| [11:39] | Did somebody say “Hero”? | 有人提到”英雄”这个词了吗 |
| [11:41] | I would love to step in. | 我很愿意替她上场 |
| [11:42] | Because there’s a huge heart under these perfect knockers. | 因为在这对人间胸器之下 隐藏着一颗包容的心 |
| [11:45] | Okay, students, we’re halfway through | 同学们 我们人生中最烂的夜晚 |
| [11:47] | the worst night of our lives. | 已经过去一半了 |
| [11:49] | Next up is the teachers’ skit, | 接着是教师小品 |
| [11:52] | which was written by Mr. Dougan’s ESL class | 由杜根老师的非母语英语班编剧 |
| [11:55] | and it is entitled, | 名字叫 |
| [11:56] | Zombie Scary Fast Run Run. | 《僵尸来了快快跑》 |
| [11:59] | You look great, by the way. | 话说你真漂亮 |
| [12:02] | And… curtain. | 好了 开始 |
| [12:06] | Need… brains. | 要吃脑子 |
| [12:12] | No brains here. | 这里没脑子 |
| [12:13] | I-I can’t hear in this costume, | 穿着这戏服我听不见 |
| [12:16] | so I’m gonna need somebody to wave or something | 所以轮到我上台时得找个人 |
| [12:19] | when it’s my cue to go onstage! | 向我挥挥手示个意 |
| [12:22] | – Got it. – What?! | -知道 -什么 |
| [12:23] | Got… Okay! | 知… 好的 |
| [12:24] | I know how to kill zombies: feed ’em cafeteria food. | 我知道怎么杀死僵尸 给他们吃食堂的东西 |
| [12:30] | Another way to kill them is… | 还有一个杀死他们的方法是… |
| [12:31] | To make them look at Janet’s face | 让他们看着珍妮特的脸 |
| [12:34] | because then they’ll want to kill themselves. | 这样他们就会想自尽了 |
| [12:37] | Okay. Intermission, all right? Everybody huddle up. | 好了 幕间休息 大家聚拢 |
| [12:39] | Right now. What is going on? | 快点 搞毛啊 |
| [12:42] | – I would also like to know that. – I think Meredith doesn’t love | -我也想知道 -梅瑞迪丝不喜欢 |
| [12:45] | that Janet and I have been hanging out. | 我和珍妮特嬉笑打闹 |
| [12:46] | Oh, you think I’m jealous? Um, no. Sorry. | 你觉得我吃醋了 并没有 不好意思 |
| [12:48] | Only fat girls get jealous. | 只有胖妹才会吃醋 |
| [12:49] | Meredith, we were just talking. | 梅瑞迪丝 我们只是在聊天 |
| [12:51] | Great! Good! | 好啊 很好 |
| [12:51] | Enjoy talking. But you should know, | 聊得开心 不过告诉你一声 |
| [12:53] | um, we boned. | 我们上过床了 |
| [12:55] | More than once. | 还不止一次 |
| [12:56] | More than twice. Uh, more than you’ve probably | 也不止两次 比你在这种破烂小品里 |
| [12:58] | played the lead in your homeschool production, | 演主角的次数都要多 |
| [13:00] | so just enjoy your sloppy– uh, I’m sorry– | 享受你们的邋遢… 不好意思 |
| [13:03] | really sloppy seconds. | 是超级邋遢的时刻吧 |
| [13:05] | – What? – What? | -什么 -什么 |
| [13:07] | What was it like to sleep with Joel? | 跟乔尔上床是什么感觉 |
| [13:10] | – Come on. – Joel, is this true? | -拜托 -乔尔 是真的吗 |
| [13:12] | Drama. | 抓马啊 |
| [13:13] | 6th Grade Lock-In’s nothing but drama. | 六年级留校过夜果断就是抓马 |
| [13:15] | I hate it! | 烦死了 |
| [13:18] | And scene! | 剧终 |
| [13:29] | I was dreading tonight because of all the student drama. | 我今晚担心的是学生搞出来的抓马 |
| [13:32] | I wasn’t counting on the drama coming from inside the house. | 可没料到教师之间还有这一出 |
| [13:35] | I trusted you all to handle yourselves. Big mistake. | 我相信你们能处理好个人事务 真是错大发了 |
| [13:38] | Relationships aren’t against the rules, | 你们要恋爱无所谓 |
| [13:40] | but talking about ’em in front of the students is. | 但是在学生面前上演三角恋就是大事了 |
| [13:43] | So… | 所以… |
| [13:46] | everybody come clean | 为了捍卫学校声誉 |
| [13:47] | for the protection of the school. | 大家都坦白交代是怎么回事 |
| [13:49] | I like Meredith’s boobs. | 我喜欢梅瑞迪丝的胸器 |
| [13:50] | I-I didn’t ask for the particulars. | 我不要知道这种细节 |
| [13:53] | Joel, Meredith, | 乔尔 梅瑞迪丝 |
| [13:54] | are you two an item? | 你俩是一对吗 |
| [13:56] | No. We-we aren’t anything but colleagues | 不是 我们只是一起滚过床单的 |
| [13:58] | who used to sleep together. That’s it. | 同事罢了 仅此而已 |
| [13:59] | Joel, Janet, do you like-like each other? | 乔尔 珍妮特 你俩彼此喜欢吗 |
| [14:05] | Yeah, I-I like-like her. | 是的 我喜欢她 |
| [14:08] | Janet, will you… will you go to the Wilco concert with me? | 珍妮特 你愿意跟我一起去看威尔可的演唱会吗 |
| [14:10] | To make up for all this crap? | 为了补偿这些烂事 |
| [14:12] | I-I don’t know. I mean, this is… | 我不知道 这 |
| [14:15] | kind of a lot to take in, but, I mean, | 这信息量好大 但是 |
| [14:17] | I like-like you, too, | 我也喜欢你 |
| [14:19] | so I guess I Wilco to the concert with you. | 我”威尔”跟你去看演唱会的 |
| [14:21] | Nice. | 真好 |
| [14:22] | I think I Wilco-mmit suicide now. | 我觉得我”威尔”自杀了 |
| [14:24] | Well, then, Meredith and I are definitely an item. | 那我和梅瑞迪丝绝逼是一对了 |
| [14:27] | And she quite possibly could become the second | 而她很有可能成为第二任 |
| [14:30] | Mrs. Coach Donnie. | 唐尼教练太太 |
| [14:31] | Uh, no, I won’t because I wouldn’t be caught dead | 不可能 跟体育老师约会 |
| [14:35] | dating a gym teacher. | 还不如去死 |
| [14:40] | Okay, girls, | 好了 姑娘们 |
| [14:41] | Operation Get Ms. Dudek and Dale Together is a go. | 牵线杜德克老师和戴尔行动开始 |
| [14:44] | I don’t know, guys. | 我不知道 |
| [14:46] | He’s the dad of a mean boy. | 他儿子可刻薄了 |
| [14:47] | Oh, Kelsey, Kelsey, Kelsey. | 凯尔西 凯尔西 |
| [14:49] | You can’t help who you fall for. | 感情无法控制 |
| [14:51] | The heart wants what the heart wants. | 这是心之所向 |
| [14:54] | Now… are you in? | 你们干不干 |
| [14:58] | Let’s make the 6th Grade Lock-In magic. | 我们给六年级留校过夜创造奇迹吧 |
| [15:04] | Wake up, guys! Wake up! | 快醒醒 醒醒 |
| [15:05] | Cream ’em. | 奶油攻击 |
| [15:08] | – Oh, this is disgusting! Stop! – Unacceptable! Hey, no! | -好恶心 住手 -不能忍 快停下 |
| [15:12] | I can’t believe this. It’s all over my shirt. | 难以置信 我衣服上都是奶油 |
| [15:14] | Oh, I’m sorry. | 真对不起 |
| [15:16] | You know, you should really apologize to our advisor, Irene Dudek. | 你应该向我们的指导老师艾琳·杜德克道歉 |
| [15:19] | She’s in room 105, currently single, | 她在105号房 目前单身 |
| [15:21] | and she’s up to date with all of her shots. | 她会把握一切约会机会 |
| [15:22] | Go get her. Go get her. To the right. | 去找她 去找她 右转就是 |
| [15:23] | Right there. Down the hall to the right. | 就在那里 走廊尽头右转 |
| [15:25] | – Yes. – Yes. | -太好了 -太好了 |
| [15:29] | Uh, that’s the last roll. | 那是最后一卷了 |
| [15:33] | Kim… | 金姆 |
| [15:36] | Look. | 看 |
| [15:41] | Oh, my God. | 我的天啊 |
| [15:43] | What did we do? | 我们都搞什么了 |
| [15:47] | A prank. | 恶作剧 |
| [15:51] | What’s wrong with you? | 你怎么了 |
| [15:52] | What’s wrong with you? | 怎么这么问 |
| [15:55] | Is this about Joel? | 因为乔尔的缘故吗 |
| [15:57] | I see him leaving the guesthouse sometimes. | 我有时看到他从客房离开 |
| [15:59] | That’s nothing. It’s just sex | 我们之间没什么 不过就是性 |
| [16:02] | which is very special. | 非常特别的性爱 |
| [16:04] | Because sex is always super special and meaningful | 因为性本来就与众不同 意义深远 |
| [16:07] | and done to make a baby. | 还可以造人 |
| [16:08] | Which is probably why he thinks I’m jealous. | 大概因为这样他才觉得我在吃醋 |
| [16:11] | And it’s like… I’m not jealous. | 但是 我可没吃醋 |
| [16:13] | I would never get jealous of someone who’s poor | 我绝不会为了一个穷屌而吃醋 |
| [16:15] | and couldn’t give me the life that I want at all. | 他完全给不了我想要的生活 |
| [16:17] | I mean, he couldn’t give it to me at all. | 他根本什么都给不了我 |
| [16:18] | I mean, at all at all. | 完全没戏 |
| [16:19] | Even if he is cute and even if he is kind of smart | 即使他很性感 在蠢蛋体育老师里 |
| [16:22] | in, like, a dumb gym teacher kind of way. | 算是有点小聪明 |
| [16:24] | But it’s like… even with all of that, | 但就算如此 |
| [16:26] | like, he’s so obviously and completely | 我确定一定以及肯定 |
| [16:29] | and totally, utterly not at all what I’m looking for, | 他完全不是我要找的另一半 |
| [16:31] | and I would never, ever, ever, ever fall for Joel, so… | 我绝对绝对绝对不会爱上他 所以… |
| [16:36] | You can’t help who you fall for. | 感情无法控制 |
| [16:39] | Don’t tell anyone, | 不要告诉别人 |
| [16:40] | but I think the unibrow twin is cute. | 我觉得一字眉双胞胎之一很可爱 |
| [16:43] | But he likes Bronwen. | 不过他喜欢的是布朗温 |
| [16:45] | He chucked all of his eggs at her. | 他把他的鸡蛋都扔向她了 |
| [16:47] | How do you deal with your jealousy? | 那你吃醋怎么办 |
| [16:49] | – I farted on her pillow. – Nice. | -我在她的枕头上放屁 -绝了 |
| [16:52] | Look, you should tell Joel what you told me. | 你应该把刚才那番话告诉乔尔 |
| [16:59] | Hello? | 有人吗 |
| [17:06] | Ms. Dudek? | 杜德克老师 |
| [17:14] | Oh, hello. Your, uh, classroom looks beautiful. | 你好 你的教室看起来很漂亮 |
| [17:18] | Yeah. It’s not normally like this. | 它通常不是这样的 |
| [17:21] | The, uh, Safety Patrol girls, | 安全巡逻队的那些女生 |
| [17:22] | they told me the eye wash was broken, | 跟我说洗眼器坏了 |
| [17:24] | so I came rushing. | 我就赶过来了 |
| [17:25] | Classic trick. | 经典的骗局 |
| [17:28] | Uh, well, I just came by to-to apologize for my son | 我只是过来再次为我儿子 |
| [17:32] | and his loser friends’ behavior again and… | 和他那些狐朋狗友的行为道歉 |
| [17:37] | There’s only one way you can make it up to me. | 只有一个办法可以让你补偿我 |
| [17:40] | What’s that? | 是什么 |
| [17:42] | I guess that apology you just gave. | 就是你刚才的道歉 |
| [17:44] | That actually was a good way. | 这的确是一个好办法 |
| [17:45] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [17:47] | Uh, well, but I was wondering if I could… | 不过我在想能不能 |
| [17:50] | get your number. | 问下你的号码 |
| [17:51] | Four. | 四号 |
| [17:53] | But one was at camp and | 但是一号在营地里 |
| [17:54] | we didn’t actually finish, so… | 我们还没结束 所以… |
| [17:56] | No, I meant your phone number. Like… | 不是 我是指你的电话号码 |
| [17:57] | ‘Cause just seeing you here, uh, looking so alluring | 看到你在这里 在煤气喷灯的映照下 |
| [18:00] | in the light of the Bunsen burners | 如此迷人 |
| [18:02] | had me wondering if we might… | 我就在想 我们也许… |
| [18:03] | Oh, no. | 天哪 不 |
| [18:04] | – Oh, no, no, no. – Holy crap! | -天啊 不不 -我去 |
| [18:05] | Don’t worry! I’ll get us out of here! | 别担心 我们都会安全离开这里的 |
| [18:06] | Uh, Siri, how does one escape fire? | Siri 一个人要怎么在火场逃生 |
| [18:14] | Lily, have you seen Joel? | 莉莉 你看到乔尔了吗 |
| [18:16] | I’m gonna take your advice! | 我打算接受你的建议 |
| [18:17] | About the pillow thing? | 在枕头上放屁吗 |
| [18:19] | No, the other thing! | 不是 另一个 |
| [18:20] | Oh, he’s in the main wing. | 他在主楼 |
| [18:22] | Our motto usually is “Safety first”, | 我们的口号是”安全第一” |
| [18:23] | but this time it’s “Safety second”! | 但这次就安全第二吧 |
| [18:25] | Go get him! | 快去找他 |
| [18:29] | Joel! | 乔尔 |
| [18:35] | – What are you… – I think you’re incredibly hot. | -你怎么… -我觉得你非常性感 |
| [18:37] | I like that you laugh at my jokes | 我喜欢你因为我的笑话而笑 |
| [18:39] | even though you’re not really smart enough to get them. | 虽然你很呆萌 搞不清笑点 |
| [18:42] | And I like that we have this long history together | 我还喜欢我们认识了那么久 |
| [18:45] | because I know that you’ve been fantasizing about me | 因为我知道你一直都迷恋着我 |
| [18:47] | for 12 to 14 years, | 有12到14年了吧 |
| [18:48] | and that’s the longest relationship I’ve ever been in. | 这是我经历的最长的一段感情了 |
| [18:51] | So, yes, you were right. | 所以 你说对了 |
| [18:53] | I am jealous of you and Janet. | 我是在吃你和珍妮特的醋 |
| [18:55] | I don’t want you to go to the concert with Janet. | 我不想你和珍妮特去看演唱会 |
| [18:58] | I don’t want you to be anything with Janet. | 我不想你和珍妮特有任何关系 |
| [19:06] | So, what, are we, like, | 所以 我们 现在是 |
| [19:08] | boyfriend-girlfriend status, then? | 男女朋友的关系了吗 |
| [19:09] | No. | 不是 |
| [19:12] | Oh, I don’t want you to be anything with Janet, | 我是不想你和珍妮特有任何关系 |
| [19:14] | but I don’t want to be anything with you, either. | 但我也不想和你有任何关系 |
| [19:16] | Wait, what? | 慢着 你说什么 |
| [19:18] | When I got dumped, I swore | 我惨遭抛弃时 曾发誓 |
| [19:20] | that I would get back at my ex, | 一定要报复我的前任 |
| [19:21] | that I would strut back into that country club | 我要挽着一个比他更壕的男人 |
| [19:23] | on the arm of a much richer man. | 挺胸抬头地回到乡间俱乐部 |
| [19:25] | And I like you, Joel, I really do, | 我喜欢你 乔尔 真心的 |
| [19:29] | but… it’s just something I have to do, | 但是 这事我一定要做 |
| [19:31] | and I can’t do it with you. | 而且对方不可能是你 |
| [19:35] | – Wait, are your parents rich? – No. | -等等 你爸妈有钱吗 -没有 |
| [19:38] | Okay, so yeah. It can’t be you. | 那就是了 不可能是你 |
| [19:39] | Okay. That was incredibly honest, | 好吧 你还真是坦白 |
| [19:42] | I’ll give you that. | 这点我得承认 |
| [19:44] | What are you thinking? | 你在想什么 |
| [19:45] | I’m thinking I’m still gonna take Janet to the concert. | 我在想我还是会带珍妮特去看演唱会 |
| [19:48] | Why? I just told you not to. | 为什么 我已经让你别去了 |
| [19:50] | Yeah, well, I-I don’t do what you want. | 的确 但我可不会事事顺着大小姐你的意 |
| [19:52] | That’s why you like me. | 所以你才喜欢我啊 |
| [19:54] | Hope you don’t find somebody to get you out of those wet clothes. | 希望你别找人帮你脱掉这身湿衣服 |
| [20:07] | This is really a mess. | 真是一团糟 |
| [20:10] | Well, at least the Lock-In ended six hours early. | 至少留校过夜提前六小时结束了 |
| [20:13] | So, God, you’re probably gonna have to can | 我的天 你大概得开除 |
| [20:16] | whoever started this fire. | 引起火灾的罪魁祸首吧 |
| [20:18] | And… I did not want to say anything, | 我也不想打小报告 |
| [20:20] | but, uh, I’m pretty sure it was Janet. | 不过 我相当肯定是珍妮特 |
| [20:23] | – Janet? – Yeah. | -珍妮特 -对 |
| [20:25] | Really? That seems strange. | 真的吗 好奇怪 |
| [20:26] | I think she did that TP-ing, too. | 外面那个厕纸秀好像也是她搞出来的 |
| [20:29] | Look, she just has that weird, | 她只是对别人的关注有着 |
| [20:31] | creepy, desperate need for attention. | 可怕变态极度渴望的需求 |
| [20:33] | You know, with the zombie skit. | 就比如那个丧尸小品 |
| [20:35] | Okay, well, listen, I’ll check it out. | 好吧 我会彻查清楚的 |
| [20:37] | But can you give me a hand? | 不过你可以帮我一下吗 |
| [20:38] | Uh, the-the drain is over-over there. | 下水道在那里 |
| [20:40] | Oh, I would love to, | 我也想 |
| [20:41] | but I’m actually on, um… | 但我现在 |
| [20:42] | on bathroom duty. | 在执行厕所监察任务呢 |
| [20:44] | And I’d hate to leave my post… | 鉴于这一切的发生 |
| [20:46] | with all of this going on. | 我可不想擅离职守 |
| [20:48] | But, um, call me later, okay? Good luck! | 晚点打给我 好吗 祝你好运 |
| [20:55] | Happy birthday to me. | 祝我生日快乐 |
| [20:58] | Ah, yes. | 太棒了 |