| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:12] | The courtroom at Buster Bluth’s murder trial… | |
| [00:15] | – Because that child is mine. – …had been electrified | |
| [00:18] | after seeing a dramatic spin | |
| [00:20] | – off of the Bluths’ family history. – Buster Bluth has killed before | |
| [00:23] | in the exact same manner he killed Lucille Austero! | |
| [00:27] | Mistrial! Mistrial! | |
| [00:28] | Yes, yes, I missed your trial! | |
| [00:31] | But while emotions were high… | |
| [00:33] | – She can be your mother! – …Michael noticed a subtle exchange. | |
| [00:37] | – I need you to find some videotapes. – They’re back… …in a box… | |
| [00:42] | You do that, and we’ll see | |
| [00:44] | – about you calling me Mother. – Right. | |
| [00:46] | And so, he decided to dig a little deeper. | |
| [00:49] | So, you thought | |
| [00:50] | Mimi was talking about you. | |
| [00:52] | That… That you were her child, and that she was gonna take you away. | |
| [00:55] | Well, had I known that she was talking about Lindsay, | |
| [00:58] | I would have been, like, “Goodbye, Felicia.” | |
| [01:00] | I didn’t even really get close to her until we made soup that one time. | |
| [01:04] | Is it true? Did you push Mimi down the stairs? | |
| [01:08] | I did, but nothing’s gonna happen to me ’cause I’m just a boy. | |
| [01:13] | How come you never said anything? | |
| [01:15] | – How come Mom never told… – You leave Mother out of this. | |
| [01:17] | – She knows nothing. – Why are you protecting her? | |
| [01:19] | What are you not telling me? | |
| [01:21] | I did it, but nothing’s gonna happen to me | |
| [01:23] | because I’m just a boy. | |
| [01:26] | I heard that already, pal. Do not protect Mother. | |
| [01:29] | This looks very, very bad. You know, Lottie is gonna make it look | |
| [01:33] | like you’re one of those guys that pushes old ladies down stairs. | |
| [01:36] | Lottie. She’s so mean. I wish I could shove her down the st… | |
| [01:39] | Hey! Shh! No more talking about shoving, pushing… | |
| [01:41] | – No touching! – Or touching. | |
| [01:43] | – Yeah, feel it. It’s a rental. – Let’s focus on your defense. | |
| [01:47] | Oh, I feel good about that. | |
| [01:49] | – You do? – What I saw today in court… | |
| [01:51] | blew me away. | |
| [01:53] | What you saw in court today is gonna put you away. | |
| [01:55] | Especially after that body-dumping footage. | |
| [01:58] | I mean, what the hell was that? | |
| [01:59] | Buster had been caught on tape, | |
| [02:01] | dumping a person-shaped thing into the sea that only moments before he’d received… | |
| [02:07] | I need your help with a, uh… | |
| [02:08] | – …from Gob. – …body-shaped thing. | |
| [02:11] | It’s from a magician. | |
| [02:12] | Part of his final farewell disappearing act. | |
| [02:15] | Gob had last seen his friend Tony Wonder | |
| [02:17] | during a sex-pref-swap illusion… | |
| [02:20] | …that he’d hoped would cement their relationship. | |
| [02:23] | Which, in an unexpected way, it did… | |
| [02:27] | …leaving Gob with the necessity of pretending he was a gay man. | |
| [02:30] | – He’s gonna have to stay gay. – Gob assumed he’d been ghosted. | |
| [02:35] | But after he was threatened by a group | |
| [02:36] | that somewhat tongue-in-cheek called itself the Gay Mafia… | |
| [02:40] | We know you’re as straight as an Oklahoma highway. | |
| [02:42] | …his assumptions were cruelly confirmed. | |
| [02:44] | And we’re the ones doing the hurting. | |
| [02:46] | In fact, it was a brutal organization that was led | |
| [02:50] | by Lucille 2’s brother, Argyle… | |
| [02:52] | So… I have to stay gay? | |
| [02:55] | Just for seven years. Then we’ll let you age out. | |
| [02:58] | It’s a lot more generous than what I did to that last guy who faked being gay, | |
| [03:01] | – your pal Tony Wonder. – …who threatened | |
| [03:03] | that, since he’s so good at magic, maybe he should make something disappear. | |
| [03:08] | Is that what I think it is? | |
| [03:10] | Gob kept this part from Buster, but told him it was a mannequin | |
| [03:13] | and swore him to secrecy nonetheless. | |
| [03:16] | Um, it was given to me, but I can’t tell you by whom. | |
| [03:20] | But Dusty thinks we’re better off just ignoring it. | |
| [03:23] | Yeah, I think that’s a bad idea. And I’m a little concerned about Dusty. | |
| [03:26] | His inexperience could hurt you. And, I’m sorry, | |
| [03:28] | I cannot let that happen. Not on my watch. | |
| [03:32] | Mm-hmm. Yeah, I saw A Few Good Men, too. | |
| [03:35] | But Dusty’s the real deal. Sorry, Michael. Game recognizes game. | |
| [03:40] | Mom is hiding something. | |
| [03:43] | She even asked Dusty to find some secret videotapes. | |
| [03:45] | You wouldn’t have any idea where something like that would be, | |
| [03:48] | – would you? – You don’t have to save everyone, Michael. | |
| [03:51] | Michael knew there was only one way to get Buster to turn on his mother. | |
| [03:55] | Okay. Don’t tell me. Dusty sure won’t. | |
| [03:57] | Not after Mom told him he could call her “Mother.” | |
| [04:00] | Oh, they went to the cottage. I’d check the cottage. | |
| [04:04] | Now, the story of a wealthy family | |
| [04:06] | who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice | |
| [04:09] | but to keep them all together. | |
| [04:16] | It’s Arrested Development. | |
| [04:21] | Michael arrived at the family’s beach cottage | |
| [04:24] | to discover that his brother’s hunch was correct. | |
| [04:27] | What are you doing? Research on the case? | |
| [04:29] | Hey, Mi… Michael. Maybe you can help me. I, uh… | |
| [04:32] | I don’t know what I’m lookin’ for. | |
| [04:34] | Believe it or not, I don’t have that much trial experience. | |
| [04:38] | Yeah, sure. What are you trying to find? | |
| [04:40] | Your mom told me to get rid of a bunch of these family tapes, | |
| [04:42] | but I can’t imagine she’d want to throw out all these memories. | |
| [04:46] | She asked you to get rid of family memories? | |
| [04:49] | – Why? Is that weird? – It’s just that, typically, | |
| [04:51] | the drinking does that. | |
| [04:53] | Oh, that’s good, because she called it “evidence.” | |
| [04:56] | But I don’t think you’re supposed to admit to destroying evidence in court. | |
| [05:00] | – Sure. – Again, I… | |
| [05:01] | don’t have that much trial experience. | |
| [05:05] | – Yeah. Hey, why don’t we see… | – Yeah. |
| [05:07] | – …what’s in this box? – Oh, well, my mom… | |
| [05:09] | your mom said that I’m supposed to be the only one who looks in there, | |
| [05:12] | – but, um… – I’m sure she wasn’t talking about me. | |
| [05:14] | Uh, well, actually, she said exactly you. | |
| [05:17] | She even said the rules were posted to be specific. | |
| [05:20] | I’m pretty sure that towel thing is a shot at me, but… | |
| [05:22] | Well, we don’t need to do everything my mother asks us to do, right? | |
| [05:25] | Well, that’s true. You’re right. Mother said don’t open the box, | |
| [05:28] | but I don’t see her around here anywhere. | |
| [05:31] | Mother, I’m going to open the box! | |
| [05:33] | Mom’s not here, so it turns out | |
| [05:35] | she’s not as all-powerful as I think she is. | |
| [05:38] | Getting to call Lucille “Mother” had changed Dusty. | |
| [05:42] | So, which ones do you wanna watch? | |
| [05:44] | “George Bluth, Affair: Caught in Act” | |
| [05:46] | or “George Bluth, Another Affair: Caught in Act, Hi-Res”? | |
| [05:50] | I know which one I would watch with a gun to my head. | |
| [05:55] | Not the hi-res. | |
| [05:56] | Oh. | |
| [05:58] | “Buster, Age Eight, Under Hypnosis: 1982.” | |
| [06:03] | This… This is the year that they tried to get him to wean. | |
| [06:05] | Hang on, that was… that was ’83. | |
| [06:08] | Uh, 1982 was, uh… | |
| [06:11] | was… | |
| [06:17] | Awesome. ’82 was awesome. Good year. | |
| [06:20] | – You haven’t watched any of these? – These are three-quarter-inch, Michael. | |
| [06:24] | This is not a TV station in the ’70s. | |
| [06:27] | But, fortunately, Michael knew someone | |
| [06:29] | at a news station in his 70s. | |
| [06:30] | Tell you what, uh, let me take care of this, Dusty. | |
| [06:34] | Yeah, I don’t want to be too sentimental here, | |
| [06:36] | but these are my precious family evidence, | |
| [06:39] | so I should be the one that gets to destroy them. | |
| [06:44] | After talking to Michael, Buster had grown even more nervous | |
| [06:48] | about keeping Gob’s secret. | |
| [06:50] | …the body you dumped was Tony Wonder’s magic dummy, | |
| [06:54] | because no one wants to get put away for murder. I get it. | |
| [06:56] | It is their main evidence against me, | |
| [06:58] | and it does look like I’m disposing Lucille 2’s body. | |
| [07:01] | Not, no… Very different body types, | |
| [07:03] | I can assure you, just… Even in the dark, | |
| [07:05] | you wouldn’t make that, uh, mistake. | |
| [07:07] | Anyway, I’m concerned that, uh… you, uh… | |
| [07:12] | Could you really enjoy your freedom, knowing that you hurt my career? | |
| [07:16] | And don’t forget, Buster, when you were a boy, | |
| [07:18] | – magic saved your life. – Uh… | |
| [07:21] | Uh, look, we don’t have to say that it was a Tony Wonder dummy. | |
| [07:26] | We could tell them it’s a random dummy. | |
| [07:28] | And violate magician-assistant privilege? Not an option! | |
| [07:31] | If you help me with this illusion, | |
| [07:33] | then you can be my assistant for the rest of my magic career. | |
| [07:37] | – Every show, every city… – Oh. | |
| [07:39] | …pending availability and parole conditions, | |
| [07:42] | – of course. – Yeah. | |
| [07:43] | But what if I’m convicted, Gob? | |
| [07:48] | I don’t know. I’ll use Adhir. | |
| [07:49] | – Hmm. – But if you are acquitted, | |
| [07:51] | we can start as soon as next week, ’cause I got a big illusion planned. | |
| [07:55] | – You know that wall we’re building? – No. I’m kind of out of the loop. | |
| [07:58] | – Who’s Adhir? – Doesn’t matter. | |
| [08:00] | But the Gay Mafia wasn’t out of the loop. | |
| [08:03] | Which is what had led to two of Argyle’s cronies | |
| [08:06] | recently showing up in Gob’s office. | |
| [08:08] | Argyle heard about the wall project. | |
| [08:10] | And he’s a little insulted you didn’t ask him | |
| [08:13] | for a sit-down first. | |
| [08:14] | Because had you done the right thing and talked to Argyle, | |
| [08:18] | you would have remembered we’re Newport Beach’s | |
| [08:20] | premier cement provider. | |
| [08:23] | Something you already knew from the trick you did at the parade. | |
| [08:26] | The one you did with your friend. Tony Wonder. Well… | |
| [08:30] | …he certainly knows about it. | |
| [08:33] | It… It’s just a prototype wall. You know, I thought it was too small | |
| [08:37] | to bother Argyle with. | |
| [08:38] | Really? Even though you got Congresswoman Sally Sitwell | |
| [08:42] | to call for it? | |
| [08:43] | Because, I tell you what, you get a federal contract, | |
| [08:45] | that’s a lot of cement. | |
| [08:47] | So why don’t you let Argyle decide whether or not he’s bothered. | |
| [08:50] | Because if Argyle isn’t happy, the wall isn’t gonna be the only thing | |
| [08:54] | covered in cement. | |
| [08:57] | They were two tough guys | |
| [08:58] | right out of Guys and Dolls, a play they were in the middle | |
| [09:01] | of a very successful four-week run of at a local community theater. | |
| [09:07] | Reminds me of how Hanks walked around | |
| [09:09] | – like Jim Lovell for a year. – Argyle will be watching. | |
| [09:13] | And if he’s happy, he just might be okay with letting you go back | |
| [09:17] | to being straight. | |
| [09:20] | And while their affect may have been over the top, | |
| [09:23] | their threats were very real. | |
| [09:26] | – Nice guys. – Of course, it would take Gob | |
| [09:28] | another hour to realize that. | |
| [09:30] | So here’s the illusion: I’m gonna go into the wall | |
| [09:32] | – a gay man, which I am. – Wow. | |
| [09:34] | If anyone from the Gay Mafia asks. | |
| [09:36] | And then, when I come out the other side, | |
| [09:38] | I will be magically straightened out. | |
| [09:40] | Well, cis male, high butch. | |
| [09:42] | Gob had learned a lot in the short time he’d been magically gay. | |
| [09:46] | Buster, you do this for me… | |
| [09:50] | one day… | |
| [09:53] | I’ll come to you for a favor. | |
| [10:02] | And so, the next day, | |
| [10:03] | Michael sought out a highly respected journalist… | |
| [10:07] | Lean Cuisine? I think I got a Lean Pocket around here somewhere. | |
| [10:10] | …who was going through a bitter divorce. | |
| [10:12] | …nothing, thank you. | |
| [10:14] | You know, you look familiar to me. Have… Have we met before? | |
| [10:18] | Well, John, you used our house for To Entrap a Local Predator. | |
| [10:21] | – That’s it. – Yeah. | |
| [10:22] | – You were one of our super creeps. – Yeah, yeah. Uh, no. | |
| [10:25] | – Oh, man, you were so out of it. – Yeah. | |
| [10:29] | – I have it here. – And that’s when Michael saw footage | |
| [10:31] | from a night | |
| [10:32] | – of which he had no recollection. – That’s me! | |
| [10:35] | What am I doing in a Banana Stand shirt? | |
| [10:37] | Can you go back before all this? | |
| [10:38] | A night in which Michael arrived somewhat battered and bruised | |
| [10:42] | to the model home, and ran into a brother… | |
| [10:44] | I’m just not into Cuatro this year. | |
| [10:46] | …with whom he shared some very cryptic information. | |
| [10:48] | I did something that I wish I could forget. | |
| [10:51] | You’ve got no idea how I feel. | |
| [10:52] | Before being surprised by a guest of his brother’s. | |
| [10:55] | What is he doing there? | |
| [10:56] | And Michael watched Gob give him a pill | |
| [10:58] | that he used to preserve the secret of the trick. | |
| [11:01] | What… What was that? | |
| [11:05] | Whatever it was, it knocked you out | |
| [11:07] | – for two days. – …forgetful… | |
| [11:10] | At that very moment, the man who gave it to him | |
| [11:12] | – was being questioned by Dusty. – You and I are friends, don’t you think? | |
| [11:16] | Objection. Is this going somewhere? | |
| [11:18] | Yeah, that’s what I wanted to find out. | |
| [11:23] | So do you think we’ll hang out together after this? | |
| [11:26] | – I’ll allow it. – Ah… | |
| [11:28] | Hang out, like go to the beach or something? | |
| [11:30] | How does that pertain? | |
| [11:33] | I just want to know if he’ll let me see his fort, because… | |
| [11:36] | – I’ll allow it. – Oh. | |
| [11:38] | – I won’t allow that. – That’s… Sustained. That’s… | |
| [11:42] | That’s fine. That’s fair. That’s… Yeah. | |
| [11:44] | Mr. Bluth, you are a magician by trade. Is that correct? | |
| [11:47] | – Illusionist. – Oh. | |
| [11:48] | – I’m sorry. – Oh, please. | |
| [11:50] | Sustained. I’ll allow it. | |
| [11:52] | And you’ve worked with the defendant before. | |
| [11:54] | This assistant… This was your assistant, is that correct? | |
| [11:57] | Yes, he was my assistant. | |
| [12:00] | Gob realized that Buster had gotten him under oath, | |
| [12:03] | not just as a character witness… | |
| [12:05] | Didn’t you say he is the best assistant you ever had? | |
| [12:08] | …but to compel him to take moral responsibility | |
| [12:11] | for the dumping of the body. | |
| [12:13] | – Yes, I did. – And what exactly | |
| [12:16] | was it that made him the best? | |
| [12:18] | So Gob put the moral responsibility… | |
| [12:21] | He would never reveal a secret. | |
| [12:22] | …back on Buster. | |
| [12:25] | He would just act all dumb, like, | |
| [12:27] | – “I don’t know what’s happening, either.” – Mm. | |
| [12:29] | You know, he just… he was just so good at acting like, “Where’d she go? | |
| [12:34] | What happened to her? She just… She vanished.” | |
| [12:37] | And he could take any object, no matter its size, and make it disappear. | |
| [12:41] | Gone forever, like it never existed. | |
| [12:44] | – You’d never find a trace of it. – Ladies and gentlemen of the jury… | |
| [12:47] | And he had nerves of steel, I tell you that much. | |
| [12:51] | Even if he was cutting a woman in half… with that steel. | |
| [12:56] | And then he’d make the steel disappear as well. | |
| [12:59] | – So cool. – He was just a very… | |
| [13:03] | dumb-acting but… | |
| [13:07] | secretly sneaky guy. | |
| [13:09] | And a rift had opened up between the brothers. | |
| [13:13] | But Michael had discovered that Gob was pretty sneaky himself. | |
| [13:16] | So… Gob forget-me-nowed me because of Tony. | |
| [13:21] | And that would be news on any other day, but I’ve gotta save my brother. | |
| [13:26] | Can you play this tape for me? | |
| [13:28] | Yeah, sure. Did anyone tell you about the…? | |
| [13:30] | Yes. Yep. Twenty-dollar tape deck rental. | |
| [13:33] | All right, let’s plop her in | |
| [13:35] | – and see how she plays. – Thank you. | |
| [13:38] | Doctor-to-be, Tobias Fünke. | |
| [13:40] | Subject , who is now in a deep hypnotic state, | |
| [13:43] | and this is my doctoral research material on memory suppression. | |
| [13:47] | Memory suppression? | |
| [13:49] | No. Not that, no. Give him some juice, please. | |
| [13:51] | Juice, please. | |
| [13:52] | …where we left off yesterday. What happened to Mimi? | |
| [13:55] | I pushed her down the stairs. | |
| [13:57] | No. You didn’t do anything. You’re a good boy. | |
| [13:59] | Juice, please! What really happened is your mother pushed Mimi | |
| [14:03] | down the stairs. But what do we tell the police? | |
| [14:06] | Mother pushed Mimi down the stairs. | |
| [14:08] | No, no, no, no. Please remove the juice, please! | |
| [14:10] | We tell the police that you pushed Mimi down the stairs. | |
| [14:13] | I pushed Mimi down the… | |
| [14:15] | No! No, your mother did! | |
| [14:16] | Watch me drink the juice, please. Juice, please! | |
| [14:18] | You’re confusing him. Honey, even though we all know | |
| [14:21] | that I pushed Mimi down the stairs, if you tell anyone that, I’ll go to jail. | |
| [14:25] | I don’t want you to. | |
| [14:26] | – What a bitch. – That’s right, | |
| [14:28] | so you have to save me by saying you did it. | |
| [14:30] | But nothing is going to happen to you, because you’re just a boy. | |
| [14:34] | I did it, but nothing’s gonna happen to me | |
| [14:37] | – ’cause I’m just a boy. – Can you say it again? | |
| [14:39] | …but nothing’s gonna happen to me ’cause I’m a boy. | |
| [14:42] | I wish I hadn’t finished that juice. | |
| [14:44] | – That’s where it ends. – Can you transfer that onto something | |
| [14:46] | less obsolete? I got to save my brother. | |
| [14:48] | I think it’s time to find out if Mother can handle the truth. | |
| [14:52] | A Few Good Men. Great movie. | |
| [14:54] | – But first, I got to wash the pile… – Sure. Take your time. | |
| [14:57] | Orange County Courthouse. | |
| [14:59] | – Is the Bluth case still in session? – It was. | |
| [15:01] | As, after Gob had outsmarted a dumb lawyer, | |
| [15:05] | the question was, could he out-dumb a smart lawyer? | |
| [15:08] | These objects that Buster could hide… | |
| [15:12] | were they as big as a human body? | |
| [15:14] | Oh, God, yeah, yeah. | |
| [15:16] | Just, I mean, the… | |
| [15:17] | often, the exact same dimension of a human body, | |
| [15:20] | of an average human male or female body. | |
| [15:24] | Often a female body. | |
| [15:26] | – Any female body, really. – This list | |
| [15:28] | of skills you mentioned, were they helpful for, say, covering up a crime? | |
| [15:35] | I see what you’re doing. | |
| [15:39] | Yes, it would. | |
| [15:42] | No more questions. | |
| [15:45] | Interesting, huh? Hers were a lot easier than his. | |
| [15:50] | Permission to interrupt the case. | |
| [15:54] | – Could you identify yourself? – You missed it. | |
| [15:56] | – I killed up there. – I am Michael Bluth. | |
| [15:59] | I am the brother of the defendant and… and cocounsel to Dusty. | |
| [16:03] | Permission to join the defense? | |
| [16:05] | Oh, that’ll be great timing, | |
| [16:07] | because I’ve been drinking this free court water. | |
| [16:09] | Does the prosecution have any objections? | |
| [16:11] | – I need a break. – Oh, let him go. | |
| [16:13] | Oh, he worked through recess. | |
| [16:16] | All right. Mr. Bluth, call your next witness. | |
| [16:18] | I would like to call Lucille Bluth, the accused mother. | |
| [16:23] | I think you mean “the accused’s mother.” | |
| [16:28] | Oh, what did I say? | |
| [16:30] | Mrs. Bluth, would you please state your relationship | |
| [16:34] | – to the defendant? – Look at you, | |
| [16:35] | milking this for every moment. | |
| [16:37] | Isn’t this classic Michael? | |
| [16:39] | We make fun of him all the time. Right, Gob? | |
| [16:43] | The rift between the brothers had been repaired. | |
| [16:46] | – Please just answer the question. – I’m his mother. | |
| [16:49] | The district attorney has provided some very provocative information | |
| [16:53] | about the defendant. She has claimed | |
| [16:55] | that he was responsible, at a very young age, | |
| [16:57] | for pushing our grandmother, Mimi, | |
| [17:00] | down the stairs. Thus, that he killed before. | |
| [17:04] | What are you doing, Michael? | |
| [17:05] | Trying to prove the prosecution’s theories? | |
| [17:07] | Stop showing off and get to the point. | |
| [17:09] | What if Buster did not push Mimi down the stairs? | |
| [17:12] | – What are you talking about? – The question is, | |
| [17:14] | do you recall the night in 1982 when Mimi died? | |
| [17:19] | Where are you going with this, Michael? | |
| [17:20] | – I just want the truth. – Oh, God, | |
| [17:22] | are you going for one of your Few Good Men moments? | |
| [17:25] | You remember the night your mother died. | |
| [17:27] | – Of course I do. Terrible, what happened. – Tell me, what did happen? | |
| [17:31] | Because the prosecution would have us believe | |
| [17:34] | that Buster Bluth, your son, my brother, was responsible | |
| [17:37] | – for that death. – Well, he did confess to it. | |
| [17:39] | So it seems that even Buster believes the story | |
| [17:42] | that happened in 1982. | |
| [17:43] | It was an accident. He was very young. He didn’t understand the consequences. | |
| [17:48] | So you are stating, as a fact, | |
| [17:50] | that Buster pushed your mother down the stairs? | |
| [17:52] | Buster says Buster pushed my mother. | |
| [17:54] | And I think you pushed your mother. | |
| [17:57] | I think that Mimi might not have been | |
| [17:58] | the only person that took a fall that night. | |
| [18:00] | I think you let Buster take a fall for you. | |
| [18:03] | Oh, I see. | |
| [18:05] | So if I pushed my mother down the stairs, maybe I did this, too? | |
| [18:08] | – Maybe you did. – I… I thought this was about my mother. | |
| [18:10] | – It’s about family, all of it. – Stay on topic, Michael. | |
| [18:13] | Okay, let’s do that. | |
| [18:15] | Where were you the night that Lucille Austero disappeared? | |
| [18:17] | I don’t know where I was. I don’t know who was where! | |
| [18:19] | Where were you? | |
| [18:24] | So it seems that I came home from somewhere. | |
| [18:26] | The point is that we’re talking about you, not me. | |
| [18:28] | Well, maybe we should talk about you. | |
| [18:30] | You were there. You owed her money! | |
| [18:32] | – I need that money. – Sure. | |
| [18:34] | You borrowed it, didn’t you, Michael? | |
| [18:37] | Yes, I did, because I care about the family, which I thought… | |
| [18:40] | Oh, stay on topic. You bounce like a beach ball. | |
| [18:43] | I’m answering the question. | |
| [18:44] | I’m saying, when you care about a family or a business, | |
| [18:47] | you do things people might not understand. | |
| [18:48] | – Michael! – …what I might do. | |
| [18:50] | Are you threatening… | |
| [18:53] | And… sometimes you do bad things that you don’t remember… | |
| [18:57] | – or I don’t want to remember. – Objection. | |
| [18:59] | – Michael’s out of control. – So maybe I was | |
| [19:01] | out of control that night, but at least | |
| [19:03] | – I can admit it. – Admit what? | |
| [19:04] | You’re talking like you killed Lucille Austero! | |
| [19:06] | You’re goddamn right I did! | |
| [19:11] | And that’s how Michael A Few Good Men-ed himself. | |
| [19:15] | I think. | |
| [19:17] | I, uh… | |
| [19:19] | I… I, uh… I was there. I was there, and, uh… | |
| [19:22] | Hey, Michael, I need that money I lent you. | |
| [19:24] | I think that I went there to see Lucille 2. I was mad at her. | |
| [19:27] | I… I had borrowed money… | |
| [19:28] | Does bad news count? | |
| [19:30] | – I’m ashamed. – What are you doing? | |
| [19:32] | I offered to sleep with her | |
| [19:34] | so that she would forget my $700,000 debt. | |
| [19:37] | Nice humblebrag. | |
| [19:39] | – Then we fought… – I cannot be held responsible… | |
| [19:41] | …and I must have done something to her | |
| [19:43] | and gotten my shirt bloody. | |
| [19:45] | Why else would I change it in the Banana Stand… | |
| [19:47] | Stop. You don’t know what you’re talking about. | |
| [19:48] | But I definitely drove the stair car home, and that’s why it was next to the house. | |
| [19:52] | And, uh, the pill. Gob gave me that pill. | |
| [19:56] | That’s what I saw on that video at… at John Beard’s, | |
| [19:58] | which is why I had forgotten that I was at Cinco. | |
| [20:00] | Okay, Michael, that’s enough. | |
| [20:02] | Even I was starting to believe that Buster… but, uh… | |
| [20:06] | – I think that I’m the killer. – And perhaps, it was at that moment | |
| [20:10] | – that Lottie realized… – I object. | |
| [20:12] | …she had no chance of winning. | |
| [20:14] | The opposing counsel… is confessing. | |
| [20:19] | No further confessions, Your Honor. | |
| [20:21] | It was a stunningly dramatic twist, | |
| [20:24] | a real Making of a Monster-type moment. | |
| [20:30] | – Michael, honest to God… – Yeah? | |
| [20:32] | What the hell was that? You had me on the stand. | |
| [20:35] | – You were making me look like a murderer! – I’m sorry. I found the tapes | |
| [20:38] | where you were making Buster think he pushed Mimi down the stairs. | |
| [20:41] | Exactly. Those are the tapes I wanted you to find. | |
| [20:44] | I couldn’t have laid it out any more clearly for you. | |
| [20:47] | All you had to do was get me on the stand and make me look like a liar. | |
| [20:50] | How do you screw that up? | |
| [20:52] | Screw that up? | |
| [20:54] | What, you wanted me to accuse you of pushing Mimi down the stairs? | |
| [20:57] | We couldn’t have the jury thinking Buster did it, | |
| [20:59] | because they’d be totally convinced | |
| [21:01] | he did the same thing to Lucille 2, | |
| [21:04] | and I couldn’t exactly accuse myself of killing Mimi. | |
| [21:07] | I would just look like a loving mother lying to protect her son. | |
| [21:11] | But I didn’t push Mimi down the stairs. Buster did. | |
| [21:14] | Mom, you’re on tape admitting that you did it | |
| [21:16] | and telling Buster to confess to being a murderer. | |
| [21:19] | He thought he was saying that to save his mother. | |
| [21:22] | We were implanting a memory. | |
| [21:25] | We didn’t want him growing up thinking he was a killer. | |
| [21:28] | Instead, he thinks he’s a hero. | |
| [21:29] | Meanwhile, I grow up thinking I’m a hero, | |
| [21:32] | and I turn out to be a killer. | |
| [21:34] | – You didn’t kill anyone. – No, no. | |
| [21:35] | I think I did. They’re probably on their way to come lock me up right now. | |
| [21:39] | Lottie’s not going to reopen the case. | |
| [21:41] | Mom, I just confessed in there. | |
| [21:43] | That you were drugged and don’t fully remember. | |
| [21:45] | Why did I change shirts? | |
| [21:46] | – Why did I say I lost control? – Michael, | |
| [21:50] | they’ve got nothing. No body. It’s a mistrial. | |
| [21:54] | It’s over. Dusty told me. | |
| [21:56] | Two brothers can’t be charged for the same crime. | |
| [21:59] | Well, I hate to say it, but you may have been getting | |
| [22:01] | better advice from Barry. | |
| [22:03] | But I should talk. I mean, I thought… I was better than this family, | |
| [22:06] | but I’ve made a mess of everything. | |
| [22:08] | I… I couldn’t keep Lindsay around. | |
| [22:10] | My son will likely be ruined at the wall unveiling | |
| [22:13] | for not having the software. That’s my fault. | |
| [22:17] | Turns out, I’m the worst. I’m the worst Bluth. | |
| [22:20] | Never say that! | |
| [22:23] | Gob is the worst. | |
| [22:25] | Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. | |
| [22:35] | On the day of both the wall and the Fakeblock software unveiling, | |
| [22:39] | the Bluth family was growing anxious. | |
| [22:43] | – You think Michael’s gonna show? – And miss a chance to save the day? | |
| [22:48] | We need this part to go well. | |
| [22:50] | Sally Sitwell can’t shut this down before the presentation. | |
| [22:52] | I’m actually more worried about the Chinese. | |
| [22:54] | I don’t think they’re happy with the protesters. | |
| [22:57] | If this doesn’t work, they’ll never stop coming after us | |
| [22:59] | for the debt. Oh, God, I just got an amiable nod. | |
| [23:02] | – Are you sure it was amiable? – Yeah, it was pretty amiable. | |
| [23:05] | Okay, look away. I wouldn’t want our congresswoman | |
| [23:08] | – to think we’re colluding. – Hello, Lucille. | |
| [23:10] | – Oh, Sally. – Colluding with who? | |
| [23:13] | Oh, the protesters. | |
| [23:14] | I don’t know who let these libtards in here. | |
| [23:16] | – I beg your pardon? – People with liberal-tardation. | |
| [23:20] | Well, they’re not making it easier for me to sign off on this prototype. | |
| [23:22] | – I can’t believe you’d let them in. – We didn’t let them in. | |
| [23:25] | I… I don’t know how they got past the guard gate. | |
| [23:28] | You know, maybe we should think about hiring a guard. | |
| [23:30] | God, I see the problem. | |
| [23:33] | – Frosty the Snowflake over there. – What do we want? | |
| [23:35] | – No wall! – When do we want it? | |
| [23:38] | – We don’t? – That doesn’t… | |
| [23:39] | – Tobias! – Go limp! Go limp! | |
| [23:41] | Go… No, no, no, no. You… | |
| [23:43] | You look like you’re at a Walking Dead convention. | |
| [23:46] | – No, limp, like, uh, flaccid. Unerect. – Um, George? | |
| [23:48] | Hmm? | |
| [23:49] | You should welcome some of your friends over there. | |
| [23:52] | I can’t believe my dry cleaners came. | |
| [23:55] | What are you doing? | |
| [23:58] | – Are you not a member of this family? – Uh, he wants to be, | |
| [24:02] | but this is going to guarantee it’ll never happen. | |
| [24:04] | I’m sorry, but I’m doing this for ethical reasons. | |
| [24:07] | – I need the money. – Money? | |
| [24:09] | – These are paid protesters? – Who’s paying you? | |
| [24:12] | I am. | |
| [24:14] | And, Dad, I made you a chant follower, not a chant leader. | |
| [24:18] | – Chant follower? – I’m not paying you for that. | |
| [24:20] | Anyway, yes, we’re protesting. | |
| [24:22] | This family can make George Michael into a fully-blown Bluth, | |
| [24:25] | but they’re not gonna do the same to me. | |
| [24:27] | No, it’s turning you into your mother. | |
| [24:29] | Well, maybe this will bring her back to this family. | |
| [24:31] | Lucille, I am sorry, I cannot authorize this wall in front of these protesters, | |
| [24:35] | especially when it is your family that’s doing the protesting. | |
| [24:38] | I’ll look ridiculous. I… Channel 52 is here. | |
| [24:42] | – What is she paying you? – Three dollars an hour | |
| [24:45] | and a copy of the news footage for my reel. | |
| [24:47] | How’d you like to be a Bluth? | |
| [24:49] | – Fully-blown? – No. | |
| [24:52] | And not your creepy girlfriend or your imbecilic son. | |
| [24:56] | Funny story, that. | |
| [24:59] | They left me. | |
| [25:05] | Oh. | |
| [25:07] | I wear the horns of a cuckold. That’s why you don’t put your girlfriend | |
| [25:11] | in the same sleeping bag with your son. | |
| [25:13] | But I’m not gonna let him share mine. I like to spread my legs. | |
| [25:16] | – Apparently, so does DeBrie. – Okay, don’t worry about it. | |
| [25:19] | These people will follow me anywhere. Hmm? Okay, folks, change of plans! | |
| [25:23] | Now, you guys got through, but let’s keep the rest of your family members away. | |
| [25:27] | I say we do put up the wall, huh? Yes? What’s happening? | |
| [25:32] | What? What? Oh, no! Go limp! Go limp! | |
| [25:34] | Okay. That might buy us time. | |
| [25:37] | Which is what George was doing with the Chinese investors. | |
| [25:40] | Good. I think you’re gonna be | |
| [25:42] | very, very impressed by the wall. It’s gonna, you know, keep everything out. | |
| [25:46] | We are much more concerned | |
| [25:48] | with the software portion of the demonstration. | |
| [25:50] | We are very eager to see how it interfere with the broadcast. | |
| [25:54] | We need something like this in China. | |
| [25:55] | ‘Cause your game shows are the worst. | |
| [25:58] | And, of course, this will be very helpful in avoiding the spread of democracy. | |
| [26:02] | And soon, Buster caught up with his mother. | |
| [26:05] | Hello, Mother. | |
| [26:07] | – Didn’t expect to see you here. – Why the hell wouldn’t I be here? | |
| [26:12] | No, you would be. I wouldn’t. You didn’t invite me. | |
| [26:14] | But, fortunately, Gob invited me. | |
| [26:18] | Hey, Gob. I bet you think you’re seeing me here. | |
| [26:20] | – Yeah, you’re part of the illusion. – Okay, I’ll meet you backstage. | |
| [26:22] | Yeah, I expect to see you there. | |
| [26:23] | Why are you…? | |
| [26:25] | I bet you didn’t expect him to expect to see me back there. | |
| [26:28] | Wh… What did he mean? He’s not using you in his show, is he? | |
| [26:32] | Yes, because I’m a good assistant, | |
| [26:34] | and unlike you, I know how to keep a secret. | |
| [26:37] | I can’t believe you told Warden Gentles about our family secrets. | |
| [26:41] | Look, | |
| [26:43] | you wanted to get out for the parade, | |
| [26:45] | but I drank too much, okay? | |
| [26:47] | This is why you don’t go to rehab. I lost all my tolerance. | |
| [26:52] | But I tried to fix it. | |
| [26:53] | That’s why I wanted Michael to expose that I was to blame. | |
| [26:57] | How was I to know he’d point the finger at himself? | |
| [27:01] | – But it worked. – Mother, I know the truth now. | |
| [27:04] | I always thought you pushed Mimi down the stairs, | |
| [27:07] | and you made me take the blame. I got it backwards. | |
| [27:10] | I pushed Mimi down the stairs. | |
| [27:12] | And you made me take the blame. That’s the same. | |
| [27:14] | But I want to thank you for that. You were just trying to protect me. | |
| [27:18] | Can you imagine how weird I would have turned out | |
| [27:20] | if I thought I did it? | |
| [27:24] | I really can’t. | |
| [27:25] | And soon, it was time for the presentation to begin. | |
| [27:28] | …the president of Fakeblock, | |
| [27:30] | Mr. Gob Bluth! | |
| [27:32] | “Gob”? Who said Gob? | |
| [27:34] | Gob, Gob! Who did? | |
| [27:37] | Thank you. Oh, and my… | |
| [27:40] | As many of you know, for thousands of years, | |
| [27:43] | the U.S.-Mexico border has been woefully unfenced. | |
| [27:46] | But today, that changes. | |
| [27:49] | Not literally today. Today, we’re just here | |
| [27:51] | for approval on a small piece of… | |
| [27:53] | Why am I being so serious? We’re gonna be rich. | |
| [27:55] | With this wall… | |
| [27:58] | Buster, would you get out of the… | |
| [28:02] | Today, in these plywood forms, | |
| [28:05] | 10,000 pounds of wet, gay, QuickHard cement | |
| [28:09] | will be poured, because if we build it, they won’t come! | |
| [28:13] | Oh, that’s clever. All right, get ready to storm the wall. | |
| [28:17] | But before I demonstrate to you the software that will… | |
| [28:21] | I don’t know, I guess just stop tweeting from shithole countries, | |
| [28:25] | I’d like to make a special demonstration of my own. As many of you know, | |
| [28:28] | I performed a trick a couple months ago | |
| [28:30] | where I turned from straight, uh-huh, to gay. | |
| [28:34] | Uh… | |
| [28:35] | Now? | |
| [28:37] | No, let’s see how this pans out first. | |
| [28:39] | While my friend Tony Wonder was encased in cement | |
| [28:44] | and never heard from again… | |
| [28:45] | ♪ The first time ever ♪ | |
| [28:50] | ♪ I saw ♪ | |
| [28:56] | – ♪ Your… ♪ – Face. | |
| [28:59] | Well, now it’s my turn to transform back, which I will do by starting | |
| [29:02] | on the other side of the wall a gay man | |
| [29:04] | and turning straight as I walk | |
| [29:06] | through it. | |
| [29:08] | Hey, no, no, take five from the beating. | |
| [29:11] | You can get back to it. I want to see this trick. | |
| [29:12] | And to help me do that, my assistant, | |
| [29:14] | direct from his mistrial, | |
| [29:16] | please welcome to the stage Byron Buster Bluth. | |
| [29:21] | – ♪ I’m free ♪ – ♪ Free ♪ | |
| [29:22] | ♪ Free at last ♪ | |
| [29:24] | ♪ Free at last… ♪ | |
| [29:27] | Mm. | |
| [29:28] | How does it feel to be accused of murder? | |
| [29:30] | It was a lot of work, but I didn’t do it! | |
| [29:34] | They found me not guilty. | |
| [29:37] | Well, it was a mistrial, so they found you not not guilty. | |
| [29:40] | There was no body. They will never find the body. | |
| [29:43] | Maybe I shouldn’t have smoked during his pregnancy. | |
| [29:46] | Well, to be fair, you… you hate to drink without a cigarette. | |
| [29:50] | Speaking of magic, you ought to get on with yours. | |
| [29:53] | – Murderer! – Not proven! | |
| [29:55] | It didn’t stick, asshole! | |
| [29:58] | ♪ It’s the final countdown… ♪ | |
| [30:04] | Now for the easy part. | |
| [30:07] | Back off. Get the… | |
| [30:09] | Climbing over the wall so I can begin the illusion. Get away! | |
| [30:13] | On the other side. | |
| [30:16] | Well, it is a bit of a flaw | |
| [30:17] | that anybody can get over our wall by using a rope ladder. | |
| [30:21] | And while Gob was shredding what little dignity he had left, | |
| [30:25] | George Michael was showing respect to the family’s Chinese benefactors. | |
| [30:30] | How long until the clown’s done with the clown show? | |
| [30:32] | Uh, well, he’s… technically, he’s not a clown. He’s, um… | |
| [30:39] | Five minutes. Maybe six, if he has a hard time getting his shirt off, | |
| [30:42] | but, you know, I have to let him do this. He’s my uncle. | |
| [30:45] | We have a word for this in Chinese. | |
| [30:46] | It means a combination of embarrassment and obligation. | |
| [30:51] | – We need a word like that. – And after descending | |
| [30:53] | to the other side of the wall, Gob was ready for his transformation. | |
| [30:57] | I am now behind the wall, still fully gay. | |
| [31:00] | But in a moment, I’ll be on the other side. | |
| [31:02] | So, ladies, prepare to be objectified. | |
| [31:05] | Ooh, mommy! | |
| [31:07] | Seal me in. | |
| [31:11] | Not you. Get out! | |
| [31:13] | Okay, now, I still need to somehow get through this plywood form, | |
| [31:17] | but I’m still gay… | |
| [31:19] | …so I’m not very good with tools. | |
| [31:22] | – So I have to use magic. – He’s inside the wall! | |
| [31:28] | I’m making it! I’m through the plywood! | |
| [31:31] | Oh, I’m craving a beer. | |
| [31:33] | My references are becoming more basic. | |
| [31:35] | I think Billy Eichner is mean. | |
| [31:38] | Buster, prepare the other side for my emergence. | |
| [31:41] | And Michael showed up just in time… | |
| [31:44] | Gay masons, begin the pour. | |
| [31:46] | …for the cement to be dropped on his brother… | |
| [31:49] | ♪ Ah… ♪ | |
| [31:51] | …while his son was ramping up business | |
| [31:54] | about a software product his father had been told did not work. | |
| [31:57] | And you are confident the software is effective? | |
| [32:00] | Because we could make you very wealthy. | |
| [32:03] | Oh, we can’t sell you Fakeblock for the wall. | |
| [32:05] | We’re doing the software on a licensing basis, | |
| [32:07] | as we’re on the verge of selling the company | |
| [32:09] | to a major commercial actress. I’m sorry, a commercial enterprise. | |
| [32:12] | I have the contract for them to sign here, | |
| [32:14] | for after the presentation, to sell Fakeblock. | |
| [32:16] | Hey, hey, hey, hey. What’s that? Are you… | |
| [32:17] | You’re selling Fakeblock? To who? | |
| [32:21] | – No, Dad, it doesn’t matter. Please… – Hey. | |
| [32:23] | Hold on. Is it… Is it Rebel? | |
| [32:25] | Are you selling the software to the Howards? | |
| [32:27] | – Do not get in the middle of this. – You said you would not sell to her | |
| [32:30] | because it didn’t work, but it does work, doesn’t it? | |
| [32:32] | You don’t want me to know. Is that why you’re trying to sell it | |
| [32:34] | before the demonstration? | |
| [32:35] | – Uh, this is not the time. – You cannot do this. | |
| [32:37] | You cannot do this because you’re not the president. | |
| [32:39] | You’re just the founder. Gob is the president. | |
| [32:40] | – Can’t sign without his signature. – No? | |
| [32:42] | – No. – Read the contract. | |
| [32:43] | As long as the president is incapacitated, it’s mine to sell. | |
| [32:46] | Incapacitated? What are you talking about? Where’s Gob? | |
| [32:48] | Oh, well, let’s just say he’s, uh, in between things | |
| [32:50] | at the moment, okay? He’s plastered, all right? | |
| [32:53] | He’s doing that Tony Wonder trick where they pour cement on him. | |
| [32:56] | Last I heard, he didn’t know how to do it. | |
| [32:58] | You might want to check on that. | |
| [32:59] | I don’t get it. I… I don’t get why you would do this. | |
| [33:01] | What happened to family first? | |
| [33:02] | I am putting my family first. | |
| [33:04] | My new family. | |
| [33:08] | Howard you like me now, Dad? | |
| [33:11] | – Howard you like me now? – Of course you’re choosing them, | |
| [33:14] | because you never forgave me for Rebel, did you? | |
| [33:17] | After everything that I’ve done for you, you’re still trying | |
| [33:19] | to teach me a lesson? Well, I got news for you, | |
| [33:21] | you can’t sell because I am still part owner in stock, | |
| [33:25] | – and I’m not incapacitated. – No, not yet. | |
| [33:27] | Know what you have in common with my new dad? | |
| [33:29] | And that’s when, in my opinion, George Michael went too far. | |
| [33:33] | You could both use a hit. | |
| [33:36] | – I’m sorry. – As did Michael. | |
| [33:40] | And an animosity that had been building was finally acted out. | |
| [33:46] | And while the father and son fought next to the quickly hard-drying wall… | |
| [33:52] | Gob could be heard trying to fight his way through it. | |
| [33:54] | …more cement than I anticipated. | |
| [33:59] | He’s supposed to say, “Remove the plywood now.” | |
| [34:03] | I don’t know why he’s not saying it. Gob? | |
| [34:05] | You want me to remove the plywood now? | |
| [34:09] | This is quick-drying cement, so the sooner you can answer… | |
| [34:15] | Okay, I’m so, so sorry about that. | |
| [34:18] | We really wanna be in business with you guys. | |
| [34:20] | We don’t act like this all the time. | |
| [34:21] | And I can assure you that I am in complete authority of both | |
| [34:24] | the Bluth Company and Fakeblock, and we’d love to do this deal with you. | |
| [34:28] | – They told me you were fired. – No, | |
| [34:29] | I’m on the board. Third in succession if the other two are incapacitated. | |
| [34:33] | Only feet away, one of those incapacitations | |
| [34:36] | was on display. | |
| [34:37] | As with no response from his brother… | |
| [34:40] | But I would rather have a brother who’s alive | |
| [34:42] | and maybe bisexual than dead and straight! | |
| [34:45] | – I declare a mistrick! Remove the forms! – …Buster appeared to panic. | |
| [34:51] | That’s how Gob, years before anyone else, | |
| [34:55] | ended up with an immovable position supporting a wall. | |
| [35:02] | Uh-huh. Uh-huh. | |
| [35:07] | – He’s mad. – As were the Chinese. | |
| [35:09] | We can’t be in business with a family like this. | |
| [35:12] | We look forward to your repayment of our generosity. | |
| [35:15] | I can’t… I can’t do that. | |
| [35:17] | We… We have nothing that… that we can give you. | |
| [35:19] | We need to build the wall so we can end our debt to you. | |
| [35:21] | Well, we might be happy with just the software component. | |
| [35:28] | You want to… | |
| [35:31] | You want to buy Fakeblock? Well, we should… let’s… | |
| [35:34] | we should wait until after the demonstration. | |
| [35:36] | I… I don’t want you to take on too much risk. | |
| [35:38] | And I wouldn’t know what to charge you, sir. | |
| [35:40] | You will just sign it over, and your debt will be forgiven. | |
| [35:43] | But this has to happen quickly, before the young clown comes to, | |
| [35:46] | or they pull the dead clown out of the wall. | |
| [35:49] | – We will agree to take this risk. – Go, go, go! | |
| [35:52] | And I guess we should do this quickly. | |
| [35:53] | And while these no longer amiable businessmen | |
| [35:56] | signed their okay to taking over a company | |
| [35:59] | from a family that had fallen apart, | |
| [36:03] | a father and son signed their okay… | |
| [36:07] | knowing they hadn’t. | |
| [36:10] | I hope this allows you to save face for your family. | |
| [36:13] | – Well, thank you. – Let’s go. Well done. | |
| [36:20] | But onstage, it was Gob’s face that was at risk. | |
| [36:24] | – Don’t use the sledgehammer. – Get him out of there. | |
| [36:26] | Did somebody say… Wonder? | |
| [36:29] | I wonder if Gob is… still alive! | |
| [36:34] | He was, and as straight as he’d ever been. | |
| [36:38] | And I missed my cue. | And I missed my cue. |
| [36:41] | And Gob and Tony finally reconnected. | |
| [36:44] | – Sorry about jumping my line. – I don’t think anyone noticed. | |
| [36:46] | They were probably just so surprised to see me still alive. | |
| [36:49] | Like you were blown away to see me alive? | |
| [36:51] | You disappeared during that closet bit. I thought that you were ghosting me. | |
| [36:54] | – To make me feel like a fool. – No, look. | |
| [36:56] | I had to switch out with a mannequin in the closet | |
| [36:58] | and pretend I was in the cement. | |
| [36:59] | Oh, no. Yeah, no, I figured that out to do the… | |
| [37:01] | But when the Gay Mafia dumped that body on me, | |
| [37:04] | you know, I… I just, uh… I don’t know, | |
| [37:05] | – I thought maybe it wasn’t a trick. – Oh, so they wanted to scare you. | |
| [37:09] | My God, they’re such a bunch of drama thugs. | |
| [37:12] | Well, I might not have been dead, but my career was. | |
| [37:15] | I was doing three shows a day in Branson in the, uh, | |
| [37:17] | – Yakov Smirnoff Theater. – What’s he like? | |
| [37:20] | Disappointing. Disa… Uh, disappointing. | |
| [37:22] | Yeah, he treats you like an audience member. | |
| [37:24] | But you freed me from that. I still don’t know | |
| [37:26] | how you got those Mafia guys to cancel my contract. | |
| [37:28] | Well, I offered them a better contract. | |
| [37:30] | ♪ Hot cops We’ll clean up the town ♪ | |
| [37:33] | ♪ We’ll turn that old frown Upside down ♪ | |
| [37:35] | So I guess we’re just a couple of straight guys, huh? | |
| [37:37] | – What a relief, huh? – Same. Big-time, same. | |
| [37:41] | I guess I can go back to Joni Beard now. | |
| [37:44] | And I might make it official with Sally Sitwell. | |
| [37:45] | – So… – Tony! | |
| [37:48] | – Tony! – Hey. Yes, I see you. | |
| [37:51] | Cool out. One second. She’s, um… | |
| [37:56] | Since her dad went missing, she needs somebody | |
| [37:58] | to run Sitwell Construction, so… | |
| [38:01] | I guess that would make us competitors. | |
| [38:05] | I guess, uh, friendship is out of the question, then. | |
| [38:11] | But, I mean, we could do other stuff. | |
| [38:13] | Yeah. Like with our hands. | |
| [38:15] | Just hands. | |
| [38:17] | I’d like that. | |
| [38:19] | Me, too. | |
| [38:21] | Just hands! | |
| [38:22] | ♪ I get up, I get down… ♪ | |
| [38:25] | And with the Chinese delegation gone, | |
| [38:28] | Michael and his son celebrated. | |
| [38:29] | Yeah! | |
| [38:30] | Great idea to have me lose that tooth when I hit the ground. It worked great. | |
| [38:33] | And we printed that in less than two hours. | |
| [38:35] | It was really good. Hey, hey, hey, perfect timing. | |
| [38:38] | Chinese impressed? Or not? They didn’t see the big finish. | |
| [38:41] | – Maybe they… – Well, no. | |
| [38:42] | They got a sense of you. Very accurate. | |
| [38:44] | Yes, well, we have Buster to thank for that. | |
| [38:45] | I gave him the mask and asked him to throw down a mannequin | |
| [38:48] | to put in the wall. | |
| [38:49] | God knows where he dug that up. | |
| [38:51] | A good assistant never tells. | |
| [38:53] | And I see you ruined another shirt. | |
| [38:55] | I thought you’d chicken out and crack at the finish. | |
| [38:58] | If that’s… | |
| [38:59] | And perhaps it was those words | |
| [39:00] | that helped Michael remember what it was that happened | |
| [39:03] | on the night of Cinco… | |
| [39:05] | – You’re too chicken for that. – You’re the chicken, and not a spring one. | |
| [39:09] | – …after talking to Lucille 2… – How dare you say that to me! | |
| [39:13] | …that he was so ashamed of. | |
| [39:15] | Chick-chick. | |
| [39:18] | Chick-chick-chick. | |
| [39:24] | It was an impression that not only cost him | |
| [39:26] | – his last shirt… – Are you all right? | |
| [39:29] | …but that he chose to keep to himself. | |
| [39:31] | Well, I didn’t chicken out. I mean, people even say I stole the show. | |
| [39:35] | You know, I’m thinking about doing, like, a solo show. | |
| [39:37] | Maybe do some close-up magic. | |
| [39:39] | – A little sleight of… – Foot. | |
| [39:40] | – Oh. Is it that obvious? – Yeah. | |
| [39:42] | – Did you get that from my office? – Yeah, I Ali-Baba-ed a hand, | |
| [39:46] | – but at least they sent me a lefty. – Just talked to Sally. | |
| [39:49] | She’s never going to approve the wall. Called it a debacle. | |
| [39:52] | And the Chinese got stuck with the software. | |
| [39:55] | – Yep. – Wait. But isn’t it really valuable? | |
| [39:57] | Uh, didn’t Murphybrown fix it? | |
| [39:59] | – Briefly. – You made Fakeblock. | |
| [40:02] | You wanna see Ben Affleck’s peen? | |
| [40:03] | Because after installing his homemade software | |
| [40:06] | into George Michael’s computer… | |
| [40:08] | Yep. What? Where is it? It’s all scrambled now. | |
| [40:10] | – It’s gone. – Yep, and forever. | |
| [40:13] | I fixed it so there’s no way to actually see the movie now. | |
| [40:16] | – So, um, um… – So, basically, | |
| [40:18] | you came up with a way to destroy content? | |
| [40:20] | – Yep. – Damn it. | |
| [40:22] | All right. Well, we’re back to poor. | |
| [40:25] | Looks like you two will be sharing a sleeping bag tonight. | |
| [40:28] | It’s just sad because we also don’t have the wall. | |
| [40:30] | It would have been so nice to be super rich again, you know? | |
| [40:33] | Oh, nobody’s gonna build a wall. | |
| [40:34] | According to the succeeding New York Times, | |
| [40:36] | Donald Trump doesn’t even have a… a chance of winning that election. | |
| [40:39] | Oh, I don’t know, don’t count out his likability. | |
| [40:42] | Oh, I suppose someone should let toe-quotes “Rebel” know | |
| [40:45] | – that the deal is off, right? – Yeah… gotta… gotta say thanks to her. | |
| [40:49] | But, of course, Rebel wasn’t in on the con. | |
| [40:51] | Maeby was. | |
| [40:53] | – Hey, Michael. – Uh, how about that? | |
| [40:55] | – I guess they really did save the day. – Shh. They’ll hear you. | |
| [40:58] | Then they’ll want something for being heroes. | |
| [41:00] | Well, too late. I already did hear you. | |
| [41:03] | They’re here for their paychecks. | |
| [41:04] | But I’ll settle for a bedroom with half bath. | |
| [41:06] | Nice try, but it wasn’t exactly your idea to protest. | |
| [41:09] | It was your daughter’s. | |
| [41:10] | Where is that rebel? | |
| [41:12] | She was celebrating with her cousin. | |
| [41:14] | Wow. Someone thinks his cousin is his mom. | |
| [41:17] | Uh, ex… excuse me, it wasn’t her idea to have paid protesters. | |
| [41:21] | It was mine. | |
| [41:22] | I was hoping it would bring out Lucille Austero. | |
| [41:25] | But the trial is done! I mean, why do we care? | |
| [41:29] | You don’t really think I had anything to do | |
| [41:31] | with her missing, do you? | |
| [41:35] | Do you? | |
| [41:36] | – Oh, no, Buster! – Personally, I have nothing… | |
| [41:37] | – No. – Of course not. | |
| [41:39] | – Oh, honestly! – Remember who’s in your corner. | |
| [41:42] | – Why is everybody so scared? – Oh, hi, Uncle Buster. | |
| [41:45] | We were just speculating as to where Lucille 2 ended up. | |
| [41:49] | Uh, we assumed she’d be here to protest. | |
| [41:51] | Well, maybe there’s a surprise under one of these burqas. | |
| [41:54] | You have got to be kidding. | |
| [41:57] | Well, it’s about time you showed your face, | |
| [42:00] | after what you’ve done to our family, you… | |
| [42:04] | Hi. | |
| [42:05] | Wait, so, at the… Protester… | |
| [42:08] | That was you kicking me… | |
| [42:09] | In the balls. | |
| [42:12] | Yeah, your mother was kicking me in the balls. | |
| [42:14] | I thought you left to find your real mother. | |
| [42:16] | She’s dead. Buster pushed her down some stairs. | |
| [42:20] | Oh, my God. Lucille 2 is your mother? | |
| [42:24] | Mimi. Not Lucille 2. | |
| [42:26] | Oh, right. That is who I pushed down the stairs. | |
| [42:28] | – Hey, hey, hey. – Well, I just… I just put my… | |
| [42:32] | How often do you get to do that when you’re holding one of these? | |
| [42:34] | I showed her the rest of the Ron Howard series. | |
| [42:38] | I knew this day was too good to be true. | |
| [42:40] | Let me have it. I’m a liar and a terrible mother | |
| [42:42] | – for keeping it from you. – Yeah. | |
| [42:44] | That’s kind of true. | |
| [42:46] | Your anger spread to me, made me a horrible partner to Tobias. | |
| [42:51] | And I will say you weren’t the most loving mommy yourself. | |
| [42:55] | But to be fair, you barely knew Murphybrown, so… | |
| [42:58] | Oh, what the? | |
| [43:00] | Oh, yes. And you were a horrible mother to Maeby, too. | |
| [43:03] | Okay, but on the other hand, | |
| [43:05] | you hid this ugly secret from me so I wouldn’t know my mother deserted me. | |
| [43:10] | So, you were a critical, difficult mother, | |
| [43:13] | but I gotta be honest, Lucy, you’re an amazing sister! | |
| [43:16] | Half-sister. | |
| [43:20] | I’m wondering if this means that you will, uh, | |
| [43:22] | perhaps be willing to… take me back. | |
| [43:26] | We’re a family. | |
| [43:28] | Maeby really wanted to roll her eyes, | |
| [43:31] | but not as much as she wanted the hug. | |
| [43:33] | – Wow. Family of the year. – The mother year! | |
| [43:36] | Huh? Nothing breaks us apart. | |
| [43:38] | What happened to Michael and George Michael? | |
| [43:39] | It’s like they never showed up. | |
| [43:40] | Where the hell are they going? | |
| [43:43] | Probably pulling the car around. | |
| [43:45] | Actually, I think they might be ready to move on. | |
| [43:47] | Right. Michael always comes back. | |
| [43:49] | Yeah. He thinks he has to “bring us together.” | |
| [43:52] | Oh, Michael is such a zero. | |
| [43:55] | – Oh, he’ll be back. – Michael always comes back. | |
| [43:59] | Oh, he’ll be back. | |
| [44:00] | Especially after something goes horribly wrong, | |
| [44:02] | based on something stupid we did. | |
| [44:05] | I mean, this… He’ll be… God, Michael. | |
| [44:09] | No, no. I don’t think anything’s gonna go horribly wrong | |
| [44:13] | for a long, long ti… | |
| [44:14] | On the next Arrested Development… | |
| [44:16] | We’re taking down the wall. What do you want us to do about this part? | |
| [44:18] | The family deals with some fallout from the wall. | |
| [44:22] | Oh, no, that’s nothing. Just take it down. | |
| [44:24] | No, I don’t think we should do that. It’ll give away the trick. | |
| [44:26] | – We don’t wanna reveal the trick. – What are you talking… | |
| [44:28] | It doesn’t matter. Everybody knows that’s not me. | |
| [44:29] | You put in a mannequin. That’s the trick. | |
| [44:31] | Yeah. It’s creepy. It looks like a person. | |
| [44:34] | – Get it out of here. – Plus, I wanna get my mask back. | |
| [44:56] | Hey, gang, does Buster’s mannequin look like… | |
| [44:59] | Judy Garland. | |
| [45:01] | Is it Lucille 2? | |
| [45:02] | Why is she smiling? | |
| [45:06] | This isn’t a mannequin. | |
| [45:10] | This is… | |
| [45:13] | the happiest corpse I’ve ever seen. | |
| [45:28] | Okay, I did it. So… | |
| [45:37] | But doesn’t she remind you of Mom? |