| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:11] | [Ron] Now, the story of a wealthy family who lost everything | |
| [00:14] | and the one son who had no choice | |
| [00:16] | but to keep them all together. | |
| [00:18] | [theme music playing] | |
| [00:24] | [Ron] It’s Arrested Development. | |
| [00:28] | – [autoharp playing “Edge of Seventeen”] – [cooing] | |
| [00:31] | ♪ Just like the white-winged dove ♪ | |
| [00:34] | ♪ Sings a song Sounds like she’s singin’ ♪ | |
| [00:36] | ♪ Ooh, baby, ooh, say ooh ♪ | |
| [00:40] | Oh! [gasps] Look who thinks they can wear white. | |
| [00:44] | You don’t like this on me? | |
| [00:46] | Well, frankly, it’s hard to think about it | |
| [00:49] | over the sound of… Was there a cat in here? | |
| [00:52] | [Lindsay] That was my singing. That’s my talent. | |
| [00:55] | Oh. [chuckles] You’ll be fine. | |
| [00:58] | Most people close their eyes when they plug their ears. | |
| [01:01] | [Lucille sips] | |
| [01:02] | – It’s not true. – [Gob] It is, Michael. | |
| [01:04] | – It’s very impossible not to. – [suspenseful music plays] | |
| [01:09] | Well, I can. This should be my talent. | |
| [01:12] | The competition’s in 40 seconds. You still have nothing? | |
| [01:15] | I mean, I can see that you’re talking, but I just… | |
| [01:17] | I’m not a lip-reader. | |
| [01:19] | [sighs] It’ll be fine, honey. | |
| [01:21] | Maybe it’ll be better if you don’t win this one. | |
| [01:24] | And you wouldn’t be losing much, | |
| [01:25] | just a cruise with your grandmother. | |
| [01:33] | Okay, I heard that. With Lindsay out of the competition | |
| [01:36] | and Buster gone missing, | |
| [01:38] | you’re my only real competition, Michael. | |
| [01:39] | – What do you mean, “gone missing”? – I… I told you. | |
| [01:44] | My plan. I took Buster off his leash, and I brought him down to the beach. | |
| [01:48] | Don’t worry, I told him how to swim. | |
| [01:49] | Hmm, my only thing is, I have to figure out how | |
| [01:51] | to neutralize you, Michael. [seethes] | |
| [01:54] | – [dramatic instrumental music playing] – Oh, my… Oh, my God! | |
| [02:01] | That was a freebie. | |
| [02:02] | [Stevie Nicks’ “Edge of Seventeen” playing] | |
| [02:04] | ♪ Just like the white-winged dove Sings a song ♪ | |
| [02:08] | ♪ Sounds like she’s singin’ ♪ | |
| [02:09] | ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ | |
| [02:12] | ♪ Ooh ♪ | |
| [02:14] | [cooing] | |
| [02:17] | [“Balls in the Air” playing] | |
| [02:18] | ♪ How much can you do? ♪ | |
| [02:22] | ♪ You lift and push and struggle ♪ | |
| [02:27] | – ♪ When the foot’s on the other shoe ♪ – [rings clanging] | |
| [02:31] | ♪ Just grab ahold and juggle ♪ | |
| [02:33] | ♪ All those balls in the air ♪ | |
| [02:37] | – Ha! – ♪ How hard can it be? ♪ | |
| [02:40] | ♪ So hard you’re getting dizzy Flip those balls ♪ | |
| [02:43] | ♪ In the air ♪ | |
| [02:45] | ♪ Keep those balls in the… ♪ | |
| [02:47] | [music player clicks] | |
| [02:50] | But where did the confetti come from? | |
| [02:52] | From Michael’s hat. Honestly, these are so easy. | |
| [02:56] | – That’s it. I’m done. Ow. – [dove coos] | |
| [02:59] | [squawks] | |
| [03:05] | [panting] Abra… | |
| [03:08] | cadaver. | |
| [03:10] | [chuckles] | |
| [03:11] | What do you think? Can we chisel off the hat of this thing | |
| [03:14] | without taking off the whole guy’s head? | |
| [03:15] | – [sighs] – Oh. Well, the competition’s not over. | |
| [03:18] | – We haven’t even seen Lindsay. – [shoes clacking] | |
| [03:20] | [Lindsay] And you never will. I want to save you the trouble | |
| [03:24] | of having to close your eyes while plugging your ears. | |
| [03:28] | So how’s this for my talent? | |
| [03:29] | [rhythmic clacking] | |
| [03:33] | [dramatic instrumental music playing] | |
| [03:37] | Honestly, I don’t know | |
| [03:39] | how Tap-Dancing Ghost doesn’t take the whole thing. | |
| [03:41] | Should we just throw a handkerchief over this? | |
| [03:43] | Michael will do something impressive. Don’t worry. | |
| [03:49] | Buster went in the water. He tried to swim. He almost drowned. | |
| [03:52] | Oh, my God! Do something! | |
| [03:53] | – Save him! – [Mimi muttering, clapping] | |
| [03:55] | No, no, no, this isn’t… this isn’t Michael’s talent. | |
| [03:57] | This doesn’t… This doesn’t count! | |
| [03:59] | Who took off his gentleman collar? | |
| [04:04] | Oh, spirit of this dead bird, | |
| [04:06] | fly into my dead brother! | |
| [04:09] | [Michael exhales] | |
| [04:10] | – [coughing] – [Lucille gasps] Oh! | |
| [04:13] | – Oh! – [gasping] | |
| [04:14] | [chuckles] I’m not too bad at this thing. | |
| [04:17] | [George Sr.] Well, we all know who the hero is today. | |
| [04:20] | We have our new Mr. and Mrs. Bluth. | |
| [04:22] | [Lucille] Michael and Buster. [exhales] You’re okay, honey. | |
| [04:26] | Mommy’s here. And as much juice as you want tonight. | |
| [04:30] | Tonight, you get juice. [exhales] | |
| [04:32] | [gulls crying] | |
| [04:36] | [upbeat piano music playing] | |
| [04:38] | [door opens] | |
| [04:39] | [Ron] It was the day of Buster’s trial. | |
| [04:42] | And while the Bluth family was | |
| [04:44] | – feeling tense… – You okay? | |
| [04:45] | – Uh-uh. – …they were hoping the same | |
| [04:47] | – was not true for their attorney. – [Buster] Where is Dusty? | |
| [04:51] | Oh, he wants to make an entrance. | |
| [04:53] | I… I think he’s gonna come in… nice and relaxed. | |
| [04:57] | And thank you again for being a team player on that one. | |
| [05:00] | Believe me, the guilt will fade. | |
| [05:03] | I mean, I’ve cheated on you a thousand times. | |
| [05:05] | I mean, almost makes up for the permanent damage | |
| [05:08] | you did to my endocrine system. | |
| [05:10] | – [Dusty] Oh, God! God! – [Lucille] Uh-oh. | |
| [05:13] | – Easy. – Oh, man. | |
| [05:15] | What a [bleep] day! | |
| [05:17] | Sorry. Just… I heard my… | |
| [05:20] | my dad’s in the hospital. Just… | |
| [05:21] | – [Lucille] No, don’t worry about that. – I didn’t need this today. | |
| [05:24] | Don’t worry about that. | |
| [05:25] | You need to focus on your opening statement. | |
| [05:27] | I go first? You said I was second. | |
| [05:29] | I’m not ready! | |
| [05:30] | – You are second. – [exhales] | |
| [05:32] | All rise for the Honorable Judge Spencer Stanley presiding. | |
| [05:36] | [upbeat music playing] | |
| [05:39] | – [Stanley] Please be seated. – I cannot wait | |
| [05:42] | to see her reaction when she sees him. | |
| [05:51] | You cut your hair. | |
| [05:53] | Eh. Yeah. | |
| [05:55] | [whispering] Does she look rattled to you? | |
| [05:58] | [Ron] And soon, Michael arrived, | |
| [06:00] | just in time for the opening argument. | |
| [06:03] | [Lottie] …the defense will probably have you review a video, the one here, | |
| [06:09] | where they’ll claim that he had merely approached | |
| [06:11] | and discovered a body on the stairs, | |
| [06:13] | and then claim it miraculously disappeared. | |
| [06:16] | It did. | |
| [06:17] | And so, it would seem that it did. | |
| [06:20] | Unless a closer look was made of the time code. | |
| [06:25] | – [Buster mutters on video] – [Lottie] We’ll learn that the gap | |
| [06:28] | was the result of Buster trying to destroy the evidence. | |
| [06:33] | And we’ll also review footage of the same stair car | |
| [06:36] | on a bluff over the ocean | |
| [06:38] | and a man who appears to be Mr. Bluth | |
| [06:41] | tossing what appears to be Ms. Austero into the surf. | |
| [06:46] | – [Buster mutters on video] – [splash on video] | |
| [06:48] | Let’s remember why we’re all here. | |
| [06:50] | To honor the life | |
| [06:52] | of the most charitable, | |
| [06:54] | vibrant, balanced, beautiful woman named Lucille | |
| [06:58] | this town has ever known. | |
| [06:59] | – [snorts] Burn. – [gavel bangs] | |
| [07:01] | It’s just that my mother’s name is Lucille as well, | |
| [07:04] | – so the… the burn was on her. – [Stanley] I’ll allow the burn. | |
| [07:07] | Mr. Radler, you may begin your opening argument | |
| [07:10] | – for the defense. – I… I know. | |
| [07:12] | – [clears throat] – [Buster gasps] | |
| [07:14] | – [Dusty] Oh! – [Ron] Things were off to a bad start. | |
| [07:17] | – But on the plus side… – [Lottie] If you find that funny, | |
| [07:18] | wait till you hear the defense’s opening argument. | |
| [07:21] | – [laughter] – …Dusty got the laugh he’d hoped for | |
| [07:23] | – at the start of his defense. – [Dusty groans] | |
| [07:26] | Uh, I… I didn’t know about the videotape. | |
| [07:29] | [chuckling] So, I mean, what… | |
| [07:30] | If you’ll… [coughs] …please… [voice cracks] I… [croaks] I’m… | |
| [07:34] | Hmm. Yeah. [stammers] | |
| [07:37] | You can just see he… he’s throwing the body | |
| [07:40] | right off the cliff, so everyone’s like, “Uh…” | |
| [07:42] | [chuckling] “I mean, what else could it be?” | |
| [07:46] | I didn’t even know you could use videotape. Um… | |
| [07:49] | [Ron] But to the Bluths’ surprise, | |
| [07:51] | the DA didn’t immediately call for a mistrial. | |
| [07:54] | [Dusty] I’m feeling like people are judging me, | |
| [07:55] | and it’s just not making me feel that great. | |
| [07:59] | I… I feel like I got, like, totally | |
| [08:02] | – the hard part of this case. – [Lottie hushes] | |
| [08:04] | – [quietly] What the hell is going on? – [Ron] Although she did show | |
| [08:07] | uncommon empathy to the opposing counsel. | |
| [08:09] | [softly] You can do it. You’re ready. | |
| [08:13] | Everything go okay last night? | |
| [08:15] | I think I made a terrible mistake. | |
| [08:17] | [Ron] In fact, she had, | |
| [08:19] | as, the night before, while believing | |
| [08:21] | she was paying a carnal visit to Dusty… | |
| [08:24] | [Lucille] Oh, it’s so dark in here. | |
| [08:25] | [filtered breathing] | |
| [08:28] | [Lucille] Hello? [gasps] | |
| [08:31] | – I can hear you breathing. – [steady beeping] | |
| [08:34] | [Lucille chuckling] Oh, so you did know I was coming. | |
| [08:37] | Good for you, getting a head start. | |
| [08:42] | – And speaking of that… – [bed squeaks] | |
| [08:44] | [Ron] But, had the lights been on, Lucille would have discovered | |
| [08:47] | that the tubes and other accoutrements weren’t there | |
| [08:49] | – for Dusty’s erotic entertainment… – [flatlining] | |
| [08:52] | – …but were instead the implements – [gasps] | |
| [08:54] | That kept Dusty’s centenarian father alive. | |
| [08:57] | – So, Lottie is his ex? – [sighs] | |
| [09:00] | – Stepmom. – [Dusty] I really appreciate this, Lottie. | |
| [09:03] | Please. I’ve known you since you were 30! | |
| [09:07] | And you can call me “Mom.” | |
| [09:09] | Mom. | |
| [09:11] | If… If the judge will allow it, | |
| [09:13] | permission to hug the defense counsel. | |
| [09:19] | Hell yeah. Let’s get the hug on. | |
| [09:22] | – [Dusty] Yeah! Yeah! – [Lottie laughing] | |
| [09:23] | Aw. | |
| [09:25] | – [Lottie] Oh! My baby! [laughs] – [applause] | |
| [09:28] | [Ron] It would’ve been a great ending for a feel-good movie, | |
| [09:31] | but it was a horrible beginning for a gruesome murder trial. | |
| [09:34] | What a [bleep] baby! [chuckles] | |
| [09:36] | – Shut up, murderer! – [indistinct chatter] | |
| [09:38] | [quietly] Well, he is. Clearly is. | |
| [09:40] | [Ron] And during a break in both the trial | |
| [09:42] | and the hug of the opposing attorneys, Lucille caught up with Dusty. | |
| [09:47] | I was a little nervous. | |
| [09:49] | For my first murder trial, though, my first anything trial, not bad, right? | |
| [09:53] | That was humiliating. | |
| [09:54] | I thought Lottie was your ex-wife. | |
| [09:57] | Nah. I mean, she’s a little old for me, don’t you think? | |
| [10:00] | She’s, like… [exhales] …your age. | |
| [10:03] | Look, I’m sorry. Maybe I wasn’t clear about our relationship. | |
| [10:07] | Uh, are you super mad at me? | |
| [10:10] | Oh, for God’s sakes, stop talking like a child. | |
| [10:12] | I mean, how old are you? | |
| [10:14] | – Fifty-six and a half. – Jesus! | |
| [10:16] | Pull yourself together. | |
| [10:18] | Absolutely. | |
| [10:19] | Not gonna let that ruin my recess. | |
| [10:23] | There you are. Okay. Now, Mom, what in the hell was that? | |
| [10:26] | I thought this was Dustin Radler, | |
| [10:28] | the fierce trial attorney, | |
| [10:30] | the only one who’s ever beaten Lottie. | |
| [10:32] | Well, as it turns out, the Dustin Radler I’ve been with… | |
| [10:35] | is his son. | |
| [10:37] | Oh, my God, he’s a motherboy. | |
| [10:39] | There were… There were no hints before today? | |
| [10:41] | [Lucille] Just that I only ever seem to create or attract them. | |
| [10:45] | You got us into this mess. What are you gonna do? | |
| [10:48] | All right. I made an awful choice, | |
| [10:50] | but did I give you a hard time when you gave all our life rights | |
| [10:54] | to Imagine Films to make some TV show? | |
| [10:56] | – That was somewhat amiss of you. – [Michael] Yes, you did. | |
| [11:00] | As it turns out, nothing came of that project, which I predicted. | |
| [11:03] | Just like I predicted your bet | |
| [11:05] | on the DA calling a mistrial wasn’t exactly beating the odds. | |
| [11:09] | – She offered him gum. – [Lucille] Okay, I hired | |
| [11:11] | a completely incompetent lawyer and put my son’s life in the hands | |
| [11:15] | of a moron, and I know what you want me to say, Michael. | |
| [11:17] | Okay, I’ll say it… My bad! | |
| [11:21] | [Lucille sighs] | |
| [11:22] | Wow. I don’t think that I have heard you apologize since, um, | |
| [11:27] | uh, since people used to use that phrase to apologize. | |
| [11:30] | Okay, well, I think we may have to beg the judge | |
| [11:32] | – to declare a mistrial. – [Lucille] No. | |
| [11:33] | We have to do this now while they still don’t have a body. | |
| [11:37] | It’s our best chance for acquittal. We’ll work with what we have. | |
| [11:40] | Maybe her maternal instincts will kick in, | |
| [11:43] | and we’ll benefit from her being his stepmother. | |
| [11:46] | Yeah, I don’t know about that. He’s not a child, after all. | |
| [11:51] | It occurs to me that he may not come back from recess | |
| [11:53] | unless he hears a bell. I’ll get him. | |
| [12:00] | [Ron] As the trial was continuing, | |
| [12:02] | Dusty was desperate for any kind of witness. | |
| [12:05] | – [Tobias] …Guys and Dolls… – [Ron] Even one that came | |
| [12:07] | – with a headshot. – I was more than interested | |
| [12:09] | to try out to be one of the character witnesses | |
| [12:11] | in Buster’s trial. | |
| [12:14] | – Thank you for offering. – [Buster] That’s very nice. | |
| [12:17] | Oh, please. I know the Buster character better than anyone. | |
| [12:20] | I could play Buster with one arm tied behind my back. | |
| [12:22] | In fact, I’ve played Buster with two arms tied behind my back. | |
| [12:26] | I was handcuffed. | |
| [12:28] | Well, this is… [grunts] They’re buying it! | |
| [12:31] | – [chuckling] Now, that’s a witness. – Um, we don’t need you to play Buster | |
| [12:34] | on the stand, more just talk about him as a person. | |
| [12:38] | Oh. Well, | |
| [12:40] | you don’t think I’d be more appealing as the accused? | |
| [12:43] | I mean, the Buster I played could never kill. | |
| [12:46] | [Dusty] Yeah, it’s… | |
| [12:47] | it’s really not an acting job, man. I can’t… | |
| [12:49] | [Tobias] Yes, yes, just… don’t push. I get it. | |
| [12:51] | Just tell the story the way you told it to me earlier today. | |
| [12:55] | Beginning with what you were doing the night of the murder. [gasps] | |
| [12:58] | [grunts] Alleged murder. Alleged. | |
| [12:59] | [Tobias] Yes, yes. | |
| [13:02] | [takes deep breath] It was Cinco… de Cuatro! | |
| [13:05] | [Dusty] No, no, no, I’m… I’m gonna stop you there. | |
| [13:08] | – I still feel you’re acting. – Really? | |
| [13:09] | – A little. I do. – Huh. | |
| [13:11] | [Tobias] So, just no script at all? Just vérité? Okay. | |
| [13:14] | Well, uh, here it is with nothing. | |
| [13:16] | I needed somebody to play a part in my… | |
| [13:19] | Fantastic…for legal purposes, I can’t say the rest of it… musical, | |
| [13:24] | and Buster happily filled in. | |
| [13:26] | [Ron] Well, “happily” might have been an overstatement. | |
| [13:29] | I’ve got a show to do in ten minutes, | |
| [13:31] | and I haven’t got a Thing to wear… this Thing suit. | |
| [13:33] | I gotta find Lucille 2. I gotta give her pictures. | |
| [13:35] | I don’t know the songs. | |
| [13:37] | You’re a monster. You don’t have to be any good. | |
| [13:39] | – What? – [Tobias speaking indistinctly] | |
| [13:41] | So, you’re saying Buster was performing as the rock monster | |
| [13:45] | when the murder allegedly took place? Is that true, Buster? | |
| [13:48] | That’s what I told you. He asked me to that night. | |
| [13:51] | And you’ll confirm that on the stand? | |
| [13:54] | I will. | |
| [13:55] | [in English accent] And perhaps I’ll do it in an English accent! | |
| [13:59] | [in normal voice] Nay, nay, I shan’t. I shall stick to the script. | |
| [14:02] | Not script. Nope. Vérité. I have taken the note… vérité. | |
| [14:06] | – Yes, yes. – Great. | |
| [14:07] | Now, I do wish I could do this gratis, | |
| [14:09] | but I’m having a bit of a shelter crisis of late. | |
| [14:11] | – I hate to play hardball… – [Dusty] I don’t think | |
| [14:13] | that they pay witnesses. | |
| [14:15] | Hmm… | |
| [14:18] | Uh, unrelated… | |
| [14:19] | What happens to this room when you leave? | |
| [14:21] | Yeah, I think they lock it up at night. | |
| [14:24] | Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it. | |
| [14:30] | Damn it! | |
| [14:32] | I just… | |
| [14:34] | [sniffles, voice breaking] …need somewhere to s… | |
| [14:37] | [sniffles] All right, well, gentlemen, thank you so much for your time. | |
| [14:42] | And I will be seeing you. | |
| [14:45] | [Ron] But back at the model home, | |
| [14:46] | an unemployed Michael was doing his own courtroom preparation, | |
| [14:49] | when he had a visit… | |
| [14:51] | – Hey, Dad. – …from the son who had unemployed him. | |
| [14:53] | Hello, son. | |
| [14:55] | – Figured you’d be up here. – Yeah. | |
| [14:57] | Well, that’s… father-son psychic connection. | |
| [15:01] | The drop stairs were down, and you were yelling, “Where is it?” | |
| [15:03] | Oh, that helps, too. | |
| [15:05] | – Sure. – [Michael] Trying to find old law books. | |
| [15:07] | Lottie Dottie Da did say that Dusty would give the guilty guys | |
| [15:10] | a run for their money. | |
| [15:11] | I think she was being sarcastic, but I am free now, | |
| [15:13] | so I’m gonna try to help out in court, which is why I’m trying to find… | |
| [15:17] | [George Michael] A copy of A Few Good Men? | |
| [15:19] | Look at that. How’d that get there? | |
| [15:21] | [chuckles] Actually, I thought I’d find my maritime law diploma. | |
| [15:24] | You know, as proof that I passed what they call the “wet bar.” [chuckles] | |
| [15:28] | You know, you may not have to get involved. | |
| [15:30] | I mean, is this something maritime law even applies to here? | |
| [15:32] | It should. He dumped her in the ocean. | |
| [15:35] | – True. – [both] Allegedly. | |
| [15:37] | – Obviously allegedly. – [George Michael] I’m worried this is | |
| [15:39] | part of that thing that you always do. | |
| [15:41] | You try to fix things, and you end up putting yourself in the middle of them. | |
| [15:44] | – You have to be the hero. – Oh, well. I do not get in the middle. | |
| [15:47] | You dated my girlfriend. You moved into my dorm room. | |
| [15:51] | You make it sound like I’m always in your business. | |
| [15:53] | – You bought my business. – [Michael] Well… | |
| [15:54] | Which has been a huge headache. | |
| [15:56] | Now I have to deliver this border wall to the Chinese. | |
| [15:59] | These are great points. | |
| [16:00] | But what you don’t know is there’s a reason I had to announce that. | |
| [16:05] | I know about the foot. | |
| [16:06] | It’s why I had to fire you, because by trying | |
| [16:08] | to fix things, you just end up putting yourself | |
| [16:10] | in the middle of a much bigger risk. | |
| [16:12] | ‘Cause if you think the Chinese are mad now, | |
| [16:14] | wait until they find out that Fakeblock is not even… | |
| [16:19] | perfect yet. | |
| [16:21] | So I hear. | |
| [16:27] | [block tapping] | |
| [16:32] | I cannot even get past the logo, so you’re close. | |
| [16:36] | But I get it. You need time and money, | |
| [16:38] | and I know I was against this originally, | |
| [16:41] | but… maybe you can still sell it to Rebel. | |
| [16:44] | No, I would never do that. | |
| [16:45] | Thank God. [laughs] | |
| [16:47] | Because she’s just using you for the software. [laughs] | |
| [16:50] | But I’m not getting in the middle. I’m just agreeing with you. | |
| [16:53] | Don’t even need to know your reasons. | |
| [16:55] | [clicks tongue] But why? Just out of curiosity. | |
| [16:57] | Why can’t you sell Fakeblock to Rebel? | |
| [16:59] | And just… just consider it a… a question from an outsider. | |
| [17:03] | [George Michael] Because she dumped me. | |
| [17:05] | You’re not just trying to please me by saying this? | |
| [17:07] | [George Michael] And I wish I could give her the software | |
| [17:10] | to get her back, but… | |
| [17:14] | it’s… it’s fake. | |
| [17:16] | I knew it. I knew it. | |
| [17:18] | She’s not over me? | |
| [17:20] | No, Fakeblock. [sighs] It’s fake. | |
| [17:25] | There is no privacy software. I made the whole thing up. | |
| [17:29] | Made it up? You told me a lie because you… | |
| [17:31] | I lied to you because you seemed so proud of me, and then… | |
| [17:35] | my lying just got me in deeper and deeper, | |
| [17:37] | and then you bought the company, | |
| [17:38] | and I had to fire you so you wouldn’t get in trouble, | |
| [17:40] | and now the whole family is in trouble, and I have no idea how to solve it. | |
| [17:44] | [sighs] I’m sorry, Dad. | |
| [17:45] | Are you mad? | |
| [17:47] | Uh, no. | |
| [17:50] | Uh-uh. I’m not… I’m not mad. I, uh… I get it. | |
| [17:52] | You had your reasons. | |
| [17:54] | Um, I… I do wish that I had not removed all of my privacy software | |
| [18:00] | and replaced it with Fakeblock, but on the other hand, | |
| [18:02] | it does explain why Pemender from Kuala Lumpur | |
| [18:05] | keeps signing into my Linkedln. | |
| [18:07] | [chuckles] | |
| [18:09] | [both chuckle] | |
| [18:10] | The Chinese are gonna kill us. | |
| [18:12] | – I’ll get us out of it. – Please don’t. | |
| [18:15] | [Ron] And back at the trial, without Tobias, | |
| [18:18] | Dusty was without a witness for the night of the murder. | |
| [18:21] | But Lottie had found one. | |
| [18:22] | I call to the witness stand Gene Parmesan. | |
| [18:25] | [man] Gene Parmesan. | |
| [18:27] | Gene Parmesan? | |
| [18:29] | Doesn’t seem like he’s here. | |
| [18:30] | That’s impossible. He’s a private detective. | |
| [18:32] | He’d never be late. | |
| [18:34] | Well, has anyone checked under the… | |
| [18:38] | new bailiff? | |
| [18:40] | – Gene Parmesan. – [shrieks] Gene! | |
| [18:42] | [Gene] And I swear to tell the truth, | |
| [18:44] | – so help me God. – That never gets old! | |
| [18:47] | I’ll tell you something else that never gets old. Whoops. | |
| [18:50] | – I’m under oath. – [laughter] | |
| [18:53] | – On the night of Cinco de Cuatro… – [Gene] Yeah. | |
| [18:56] | …you were undercover, working selling donkey punch. | |
| [18:58] | – Isn’t that correct? – [Gene] Definitely undercover. | |
| [19:00] | I don’t need two jobs. [chuckles] | |
| [19:02] | ‘Cause everything’s going really good. | |
| [19:04] | What exactly is in a donkey punch? | |
| [19:05] | You know, mostly Kool-Aid. | |
| [19:07] | – So it’s similar to juice, then? – [Gene] It is. | |
| [19:10] | [Ron] Lucille was concerned. | |
| [19:11] | The DA appeared to have done her homework on Buster | |
| [19:14] | and his lack of restraint under the influence of sugary juice. | |
| [19:19] | And she found herself resenting a man | |
| [19:21] | – she’d once admired. – [Lottie] Your witness. | |
| [19:23] | [Ron] But Lottie stopped short of making that point. | |
| [19:25] | Do you want me to take it easy on him? | |
| [19:27] | Or give it to him hard? I know he’s a friend of yours. | |
| [19:29] | [scoffs] He’s not my friend anymore. | |
| [19:31] | Testifying against our family | |
| [19:33] | after all the times I faked being surprised by him? | |
| [19:36] | [Ron] So Dusty went after the witness’s credibility. | |
| [19:39] | Mr. Parmesan, you say you’re a master of disguises. | |
| [19:44] | How many looks are you capable of creating? | |
| [19:48] | [Stanley] You asking me? | |
| [19:50] | I’m the judge. | |
| [19:54] | I’m Gene Parmesan. | |
| [19:55] | – [shrieks] – You say you had an undercover job, | |
| [19:57] | which means you must have left the donkey punch stand. | |
| [20:00] | Isn’t that correct? | |
| [20:02] | – Yes, it is. – So you can’t dispute my client’s claim | |
| [20:05] | that he was dressed as the rock monster | |
| [20:07] | out on that floating barge when the murder took place. | |
| [20:09] | Allegedly. [clears throat] Allegedly took place. | |
| [20:13] | No, I did leave the donkey punch stand, | |
| [20:15] | uh, right before the play began. | |
| [20:18] | Mm-hmm. So how can you be sure | |
| [20:21] | that Buster didn’t change into the rock suit… | |
| [20:24] | as we’ve claimed? | |
| [20:26] | ‘Cause it was me. | |
| [20:29] | [Ron] After fighting with Lucille 2, | |
| [20:31] | Buster did end up at the donkey punch stand… | |
| [20:34] | It’s punch, like the juice! | |
| [20:35] | Oh, I need some juice. | |
| [20:37] | [Ron] …but flew into a rage | |
| [20:39] | when he saw an old rival… | |
| [20:41] | – [Buster squeals] – [Ron] …leaving behind | |
| [20:44] | the costume he was to be wearing, to a man | |
| [20:46] | who never said no to a costume or a part-time job. | |
| [20:50] | That’s me. | |
| [20:52] | [Gene] Yep. | |
| [20:53] | [Dusty] Wha…? | |
| [20:55] | [Ron] But while Gene may have undermined | |
| [20:57] | – Buster’s alibi… – Gene! | |
| [20:58] | [Ron] …back at the office, George Michael was worried | |
| [21:01] | – about his dire situation… – Tickle, tickle. | |
| [21:03] | – [George Michael] Uncle Tobias, hi. – Come on. | |
| [21:05] | [Ron] …when an even more dire one came through the door. | |
| [21:08] | Hey, what are you guys doing here? | |
| [21:09] | Well, our stay at the Spotted Palm | |
| [21:12] | came to a rather abrupt end when “Bev” here… | |
| [21:16] | decided to look at her cellular telephone without holding it at arm’s length | |
| [21:20] | and putting on her readers first. | |
| [21:22] | – She blew our cover. – [Murphybrown] Sorry, I keep forgetting | |
| [21:24] | that acting is my passion. | |
| [21:26] | [DeBrie] It really ruined | |
| [21:27] | Annette’s funeral, | |
| [21:29] | may she rest in peace. | |
| [21:31] | Maeby killed Annette? | |
| [21:33] | Where did we land with that? | |
| [21:34] | Uh… gore… she was gored. | |
| [21:36] | Yes. Gored in the running of the bulls. | |
| [21:38] | People were getting suspicious, so it had to be somewhere | |
| [21:41] | where there wouldn’t be a body. | |
| [21:42] | Or where an animal took off with the body so fast… | |
| [21:44] | – That you couldn’t get it back. – Exactly. | |
| [21:46] | That was the idea. | |
| [21:47] | – Yep. Yes. Yep, yep. – [DeBrie] Yeah, yeah. | |
| [21:49] | Good. Well, if you guys were thinking about staying here… | |
| [21:52] | [gasps] Oh, thank you so much. I told you he would come through! | |
| [21:54] | We cannot move in soon enough for you. [laughs] | |
| [21:57] | Some of our happiest days as a family were spent here. | |
| [22:00] | [George Michael] It’s not an abandoned office anymore, | |
| [22:01] | so there are people doing work… out there. | |
| [22:03] | Uh-huh. Well, if it’s work you require, I suppose we can act it off. | |
| [22:08] | – Yeah, that’s going to be a problem. – [Tobias] Well, surely, | |
| [22:10] | there must be some, uh, in-house corporate training seminar | |
| [22:13] | we could do or… or a sexual harassment video. | |
| [22:16] | I mean, I’m no Harvey Weinstein, but I’m sure I could produce one. | |
| [22:20] | And I knew him. Did I tell you that story | |
| [22:22] | when Mr. Weinstein killed my ficus in the ’80s? | |
| [22:25] | When he came over to audition me for… | |
| [22:26] | Yes. We all know DeBrie Bardeaux snagged a private audition | |
| [22:30] | with Harvey Weinstein. | |
| [22:31] | Yeah, but I came on too strong, so I didn’t get the part. | |
| [22:34] | Yes, well, some of us weren’t lucky enough to even have an audition to blow. | |
| [22:38] | Gosh, I don’t really know if we need any acting right now. | |
| [22:41] | The stuff we’re doing here, it’s more about preventing hacking, | |
| [22:44] | – protecting privacy, and stuff like that. – That’s what I was trying to stop, too. | |
| [22:48] | Yes, Murphybrown here is a bit of a computer whiz. | |
| [22:51] | – [chuckles] – Mm… | |
| [22:52] | He’s worked on cable boxes. | |
| [22:54] | [Murphybrown] Yeah, I actually coded, like… | |
| [22:55] | an extra layer beneath the firewall to keep your data from being exposed. | |
| [22:59] | It’s like a dam or, like, a… a stopper, | |
| [23:01] | or a barrier to stop people from… | |
| [23:04] | – Like a block? – [stammers] Okay. [laughs] | |
| [23:06] | Can we do this in English, Professor? | |
| [23:08] | [Murphybrown] Oh, s-sorry, sorry, my… Sorry, my fine student. | |
| [23:11] | – [troupe laughs] – I need a diagram. | |
| [23:12] | It makes no sense at all. | |
| [23:14] | But what he’s basically saying is, | |
| [23:17] | nobody wants to be naked underneath their underwear. | |
| [23:19] | So, one adds an extra layer of protection. | |
| [23:22] | It doesn’t have to be denim, per se, | |
| [23:24] | but everybody wants to hide their privates from something. | |
| [23:26] | Not everybody. | |
| [23:29] | – Can you show me? – [Tobias] Oh, sure. | |
| [23:31] | – [DeBrie] God, yeah. – No, your program? | |
| [23:33] | The… The code that you wrote? | |
| [23:35] | [Ron] George Michael was as surprised | |
| [23:38] | as the courtroom was about to be when the DA introduced a witness | |
| [23:42] | who would turn the whole case upside down | |
| [23:45] | with a sense of the dramatic. | |
| [23:48] | [Lottie] Okay. Now, Warden Gentles, you recently paid a visit | |
| [23:51] | to the Hollywood motion picture director Ron Howard | |
| [23:54] | with information about the Bluth family | |
| [23:56] | you thought was pertinent to a project he was working on | |
| [23:58] | about the Bluth family. | |
| [24:00] | – Isn’t that correct? – [Gentles] That is correct. | |
| [24:02] | – Oh, my God. – [Lottie] This had to do with an incident | |
| [24:04] | in Buster Bluth’s past, correct? | |
| [24:07] | Yes. It is so. | |
| [24:08] | And how exactly did you acquire this information? | |
| [24:11] | Well, if I may be eloquent, straight from the horse’s mouth. | |
| [24:16] | And who is the horse? | |
| [24:20] | Lucille Bluth, | |
| [24:22] | of course, of course. | |
| [24:24] | [Lottie] But all that information on that case | |
| [24:27] | – had been sealed. – [Gentles] Well, all seals can come loose | |
| [24:31] | with a little bit of… | |
| [24:32] | Gentles’ pressuring. | |
| [24:35] | [Ron] And Lucille herself had been so loosened. | |
| [24:38] | Some months earlier, Lucille had enticed Warden Gentles | |
| [24:42] | to a private dinner in order | |
| [24:44] | to get her son Buster released for a Second of July parade. | |
| [24:48] | And through the course of a well-served meal, | |
| [24:52] | and even more frequently served bottles of wine, | |
| [24:56] | Lucille rekindled a friendship in order to ask for a favor. | |
| [25:00] | But as the afternoon turned into evening, | |
| [25:03] | intimate details issued forth | |
| [25:05] | from a now-drunken Lucille’s mouth. | |
| [25:08] | Information extremely useful | |
| [25:10] | to a warden with ambitions of a screenwriting career, | |
| [25:14] | who had heard about an Imagine streaming series | |
| [25:17] | about this exact family. | |
| [25:19] | So, while Lucille got her son out for a parade, | |
| [25:23] | Warden Gentles got a lot more. | |
| [25:26] | In fact, the only thing guarded that evening | |
| [25:29] | was Warden Gentles’ private trailer. | |
| [25:32] | [Lottie] And you shared these stories with Ron Howard? | |
| [25:35] | – [Ron] He did. – I did. | |
| [25:38] | Exhibit 3-A, Making of a Monster. | |
| [25:41] | I would like to play a clip of the season finale. | |
| [25:45] | [TV beeps] | |
| [25:46] | [Ron] And so, they played much of the Imagine Bluth project. | |
| [25:51] | Now, remember, this is really rough. | |
| [25:53] | And our location guy was only able to rent out the cottage for shooting | |
| [25:56] | for, like, two days. And it’s all temp sound. | |
| [25:58] | – We haven’t licensed most of this music. – What? What do you think you’re doing? | |
| [26:03] | I told you. I’m taking this girl who, in my opinion, | |
| [26:05] | has been mistreated by you for far too long | |
| [26:07] | on a cruise with her grandmother. | |
| [26:09] | [scoffs] You’re not taking her anywhere. | |
| [26:12] | Oh, come on, Mom. | |
| [26:13] | I am almost 14, | |
| [26:15] | – and you have been mistreating me. – [young Lucille] Oh… | |
| [26:19] | You go to your room. | |
| [26:22] | – [door closes] – [young Lucille] How dare you? | |
| [26:24] | We both know that child is about to turn 18. | |
| [26:27] | – Oh, that’s right, it slipped my mind. – [young Lucille] Oh, please. | |
| [26:30] | That’s all you’ve been thinking about since you put her up for adoption. | |
| [26:33] | [Mimi] It hasn’t been on your mind? | |
| [26:36] | You swooped in and stole her from the Standwells | |
| [26:38] | when you found out about the endowment, | |
| [26:40] | ’cause you just had to have a cottage on the beach. | |
| [26:43] | [scoffs] | |
| [26:44] | [Mimi] You can say goodbye to that, honey. | |
| [26:46] | Because that child is mine, | |
| [26:47] | and I have nothing else in my life right now. | |
| [26:49] | And I’m not gonna spend the rest of it singing | |
| [26:51] | on a cruise ship for snifter tips. | |
| [26:53] | [young Lucille] I knew this is what you were up to. | |
| [26:55] | Suddenly, there’s no gentleman caller in the picture, | |
| [26:57] | and you decide to look out for yourself? | |
| [26:59] | [Mimi] Oh, you’re one to talk about looking out for yourself. | |
| [27:01] | I’ve never been invited to this place even once, | |
| [27:04] | and let’s not forget who paid for it. | |
| [27:06] | [young Lucille] And this is how you want to be paid back? | |
| [27:08] | You think you’re gonna walk in here and take away my child? | |
| [27:11] | That’s not your child. That’s my child, and we both know it. | |
| [27:15] | [young Buster] No. | |
| [27:16] | It’s not true. I still have it! I’ll still wear my gentleman’s collar! | |
| [27:19] | But you’re not my mother. Mother’s my mother, Grandmother! | |
| [27:22] | [screaming] | |
| [27:23] | – [slow piano music playing] – [thudding] | |
| [27:28] | [Ron] You know, it’s funny, I was actually worried | |
| [27:30] | about them showing this in court, but it… it turned out better | |
| [27:33] | than I’d remembered. | |
| [27:35] | And I actually think it’s a good advertisement | |
| [27:37] | for the show. | |
| [27:39] | Of course, we still haven’t gotten Brian’s notes. | |
| [27:41] | And obviously, we’re gonna put Jean Smart’s face | |
| [27:43] | – on the stuntman. – [crashing echoes] | |
| [27:51] | [Ron] And Cobie did a great job, too. | |
| [27:53] | You know, I… I should send her something. | |
| [27:55] | – Did you know about this? – [Dusty] No. | |
| [27:57] | My dad made us give up Netflix when they went up by two dollars. | |
| [28:00] | [Lottie] Is that an accurate depiction | |
| [28:02] | of what Lucille told you was a true story? | |
| [28:05] | I’m not just saying this to suck up to Ron Howard, | |
| [28:09] | but I think we nailed it. | |
| [28:11] | [Lottie] So, Buster Bluth | |
| [28:13] | has killed before in the exact same manner | |
| [28:16] | he killed Lucille Austero! | |
| [28:18] | [man] Wow. | |
| [28:19] | [quietly] Prosecution rests. | |
| [28:21] | We will reconvene tomorrow. | |
| [28:23] | – Mistrial! Mistrial! – Yes, yes! | |
| [28:25] | I missed your trial! | |
| [28:28] | So you sell me out to Warden Gentles? | |
| [28:30] | And we both know you said I wouldn’t get in trouble. | |
| [28:33] | – You made a promise! – No, Buster, it was a mistake! | |
| [28:36] | You can live with her, Dusty. She can be your mother. | |
| [28:39] | Now you made it almost impossible for me to win this case. | |
| [28:43] | I mean, was that an option? Because you did almost kill my dad. | |
| [28:46] | ♪ Mother and boy… ♪ | |
| [28:49] | [Ron] On the next Arrested Development… | |
| [28:52] | [Ron] George Michael discovers Murphybrown knows | |
| [28:55] | more about computers than he’d been letting on. | |
| [28:58] | …they’ll just be getting this placeholder data | |
| [29:00] | instead of your real data. | |
| [29:02] | – So, like, do you want to watch Gone Girl? – Yeah. | |
| [29:04] | Okay, ’cause I just ripped it. But guess what? | |
| [29:06] | They’ll never know, | |
| [29:08] | because they will be seeing… this dummy info. | |
| [29:12] | – It works. – [Murphybrown] Mm-hmm. | |
| [29:14] | Pretty much all the time. Pretty much works. | |
| [29:16] | [troupe laughs] | |
| [29:17] | – [DeBrie] It’s like a big deal. – I know. | |
| [29:20] | – [Murphybrown] Take a look at it there. – Well, this is Fakeblock. | |
| [29:25] | – You made Fakeblock. – Mm. | |
| [29:28] | Hey, do you want to see Ben Affleck’s peen? | |
| [29:32] | [chuckles, stammering] Yeah. Would love to. | |
| [29:35] | Huh, what do we have here? | |
| [29:38] | – Huh. Yep, yep. – [keyboard clacking] | |
| [29:40] | Huh. Yep. Yep. Yep. | |
| [29:48] | [upbeat music playing] |