| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:11] | [Buster and Oscar] Inside, outside, inside, outside, | |
| [00:13] | inside, outside, inside, outside, | |
| [00:15] | inside, outside, inside, outside… | |
| [00:17] | [Ron] Having taken Stan hostage, | |
| [00:19] | Oscar and Buster believed they were on a flight from justice. | |
| [00:23] | – Who is this guy? – I don’t know… inside… | |
| [00:25] | but I don’t like the looks of him… outside… | |
| [00:27] | He’s a friend, just saying hi. What do I do? | |
| [00:29] | Okay, no funny business. Inside… | |
| [00:31] | – Yeah, don’t be a hero. – Outside… | |
| [00:33] | – [Stan] Do I say hi? What do I do? – All right, acting natural and stopping | |
| [00:37] | in three, two, one. | |
| [00:40] | [all] Hello. | |
| [00:41] | Ah. Hurt your hand? | |
| [00:45] | Tell him to [bleep] off. | |
| [00:46] | Yeah, yeah, yeah, to F off, twinkle toes. Tell him to F off. | |
| [00:49] | Let me handle this. Call the police. Ow! | |
| [00:52] | My son is coming in from Ojai next Tuesday. | |
| [00:55] | – [all] Ah. – [Oscar] Leading with the inside. | |
| [00:57] | – Three, two, one. – [Buster and Oscar] Goodbye. | |
| [01:00] | – Call the police. – [both] Inside, outside, inside, outside… | |
| [01:03] | [Ron] Now the story of a wealthy family | |
| [01:05] | who lost everything, and the one son | |
| [01:08] | who had no choice but to keep them all together. | |
| [01:10] | [theme song playing] | |
| [01:16] | It’s Arrested Development. | |
| [01:21] | [Rebel] Fakeblock is gonna change the world. | |
| [01:24] | [Ron] After George Michael’s girlfriend expressed interest | |
| [01:26] | in seeing his business… | |
| [01:28] | Which reminds me, I’m dying to see it. | |
| [01:30] | – …he was desperate for a way out. – [Maeby] Why don’t you just tell Rebel | |
| [01:33] | – she can’t see the company? – Then she’s gonna know | |
| [01:35] | I’m not a tech entrepreneur named George Maharis. | |
| [01:37] | [Ron] Fortunately, his uncle inspired a solution. | |
| [01:40] | – They’re paid protestors, boy! – [Ron] Unfortunately… | |
| [01:42] | Do you think they could be Anonymous, like Guy Fawkses? | |
| [01:44] | …Gob had a different interpretation | |
| [01:46] | – of what a Guy Fawkes was. – [Rebel] Foxy guys. | |
| [01:50] | [Ron] And when he found his deception falling apart, | |
| [01:52] | George Michael was in for a pleasant surprise. | |
| [01:54] | Fakeblock’s incredible. Fakeblock is… | |
| [01:56] | – Yeah, Fakeblock is real. Yeah. – [Ron] And so, he went to thank a cousin | |
| [02:00] | – who was in the middle of a deception. – [George Michael] I was this close | |
| [02:03] | to telling Rebel the whole truth: that you fired everyone | |
| [02:05] | months ago, and the thing is a fraud. | |
| [02:06] | Then we open the doors, and the place is abuzz. | |
| [02:09] | She totally bought it. She wants to invest now. | |
| [02:11] | I don’t know how you did it, but it was great. | |
| [02:13] | You got people there for the day. | |
| [02:15] | I didn’t hire anybody for the day. | |
| [02:17] | Then where did those people come from? The place was wall-to-wall nerds. | |
| [02:20] | Yeah, this is making sense. | |
| [02:22] | Those people that you saw didn’t come in for the day. | |
| [02:26] | They never left. | |
| [02:27] | Remember when I said I fired everybody? | |
| [02:30] | What I did was, I asked Joan in HR to fire everybody for me. | |
| [02:35] | Then, so I didn’t have to make two phone calls, | |
| [02:36] | I fired her there on the spot. | |
| [02:38] | – So you fired the person in charge of… – Firing. | |
| [02:41] | Yes. So, you know, you fire the person in HR last. | |
| [02:45] | That’s the lesson here. | |
| [02:46] | But, hey, this is how you learn in business, am I right? | |
| [02:48] | We’re still somehow paying these people? | |
| [02:50] | Well, we’re not paying Joan in HR. Gotta give me credit for that one. | |
| [02:53] | Well, we’re not gonna have any more credit at all. | |
| [02:55] | That explains why Maeby’s credit cards aren’t working. | |
| [02:57] | Maeby’s credit cards? | |
| [03:00] | Oh, sorry. The minute I put the teeth in, I become… | |
| [03:03] | a completely different person. [chuckles] | |
| [03:05] | Speaking of which, there’s your solution. | |
| [03:07] | We both have alter egos, | |
| [03:09] | and I think it’s about time we killed them off. What do you say? | |
| [03:11] | George Maharis can have a heart attack. | |
| [03:13] | – Maeby gets hit by a bus. – [George Michael] Killing off Maeby? | |
| [03:16] | – Yup, see you. – I know Annette can be forgetful, | |
| [03:18] | but she remembers Maeby is the dominant personality, right? | |
| [03:21] | Hey, I got a pretty sweet setup here. | |
| [03:23] | Okay? I finally got rid of my beloved Stan. | |
| [03:26] | He’s in the hospital, massive head injury. | |
| [03:28] | Free rent. New neighbors every six to eight months. | |
| [03:32] | Also, Maeby doesn’t even have a high school diploma. | |
| [03:35] | Not a good move, given the world my generation is leaving hers. | |
| [03:38] | I’m glad it’s easy for you, but me and George Maharis have the same teeth. | |
| [03:40] | [chuckles] | |
| [03:41] | People are gonna figure it out. If I’m not arrested for fraud, | |
| [03:43] | I’ll be in debt for life. | |
| [03:45] | – I’m gonna end up in my old bedroom. – Yeah. It’s six o’clock. | |
| [03:48] | I’m already an hour and a half late for dinner. | |
| [03:50] | And I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself, but, uh… Annette, | |
| [03:55] | she like-a the pasta, hmm? | |
| [03:57] | ♪ How did you ever find me? ♪ | |
| [04:01] | [Ron] Later that day, Michael heard a noise coming | |
| [04:03] | from his son’s old bedroom and was surprised | |
| [04:06] | to discover that, this time, it was his son. | |
| [04:10] | It’s you. What are you doing in your bedroom? | |
| [04:13] | Playing a game where I just throw the tennis ball | |
| [04:15] | against the wall and try and catch it. And then if I miss it, I… | |
| [04:21] | Uh, feel pretty bad and beat myself up, | |
| [04:23] | and then I kind of try and move past that | |
| [04:25] | and get back on the horse. | |
| [04:27] | Okay. Son, I… I meant, what… what… what are you doing | |
| [04:29] | back in your old room? | |
| [04:31] | Um… that’s just a… | |
| [04:33] | minor regression. | |
| [04:35] | [women] ♪ Minor regression ♪ | |
| [04:37] | Well, I guess I was actually just trying to go back to a simpler time. | |
| [04:40] | When I was a young boy and… | |
| [04:41] | all I cared about were simple things | |
| [04:43] | like what does it take to be a good citizen | |
| [04:46] | and am I gonna be able to fall asleep tonight, | |
| [04:47] | or am I getting too wound up | |
| [04:49] | – about this good citizen stuff? – Well, George Michael, | |
| [04:51] | you’ve always been such a funny little guy, you know. | |
| [04:53] | Of course it make sense now, you being a computer genius. | |
| [04:56] | Speaking of which, question: I’m trying | |
| [04:59] | to gather as much capital as possible to help out Dad, | |
| [05:01] | but I think that they’re hiding something. | |
| [05:03] | I mean, they’ve got secret bookkeeping, and, um, | |
| [05:05] | came across this file here called “Gated Community.” | |
| [05:09] | Each time I try to print it, I get this root warning, | |
| [05:11] | – you know… – Doesn’t look | |
| [05:12] | like it came from a normal printer, actually. | |
| [05:15] | It’s not, no, I sent it to the Smile Maker. It’s a dental printer. | |
| [05:17] | Okay. That explains that toothbrush next to the warning sign. | |
| [05:21] | And you see how they spelled “byte” without a y. | |
| [05:23] | – No, this is for dentists. – Listen to you. | |
| [05:25] | This is why you have a billion-dollar software company | |
| [05:27] | and your old man has to hit “popcorn” on the microwave | |
| [05:29] | any time I want to heat something up. | |
| [05:31] | – You hit “heat,” then hit “time,” then… – Mine does not work that way. | |
| [05:34] | But popcorn sounds good. Let’s go make some of that. Come on. | |
| [05:37] | [Ron] Unbeknownst to the guys, and directly over their heads, | |
| [05:41] | Tobias had just experienced his own snack problems. | |
| [05:45] | I knew it. [sighs] Okay. I had nine gummy bears | |
| [05:48] | wrapped in tinfoil here, | |
| [05:50] | and the tinfoil is still here, but, uh, I’m super confused. | |
| [05:52] | Do we have magic gummy bears that just get up and walk away? | |
| [05:55] | Yeah, one got up and walked right into my mouth. | |
| [05:58] | What’re you gonna do about it? | |
| [05:59] | [Ron] And the cramped quarters | |
| [06:01] | had his makeshift family feeling on edge. | |
| [06:03] | Oh, I can go downstairs, maybe go to a store. | |
| [06:05] | No! I’m the provider for this family. | |
| [06:07] | If anyone gets to leave, it’s me. | |
| [06:09] | Yeah, you’re good at that, Dad. You’re good at leaving. | |
| [06:11] | It… It’s kind of your thing, actually. | |
| [06:13] | Hey, I don’t have to crouch here for this… Ow! [groans] | |
| [06:16] | I just don’t understand why we’re still here. | |
| [06:18] | – [Tobias] Shh! – Why are we hiding? | |
| [06:19] | Yeah, I thought you said you were the sticky white glue | |
| [06:22] | that this family sniffs together. | |
| [06:24] | All right, look, we’re in a bad situation here. | |
| [06:27] | But, I’ve been jammed | |
| [06:28] | with bigger things in tighter spots than this. | |
| [06:31] | Ah. | |
| [06:32] | We just need better living conditions. | |
| [06:36] | Isn’t that what the Bluth Company does? | |
| [06:37] | No, you fuck… Oh! | |
| [06:40] | – Mmm… – Uh-huh, uh-huh. | |
| [06:41] | – Mm-hmm. – [DeBrie] Uh-huh. | |
| [06:42] | [Ron] Oscar and Buster, meanwhile, had found a new place to live. | |
| [06:45] | [Oscar] This is a great pad. | |
| [06:46] | I know. This is what we in the Bluth family | |
| [06:49] | – call a “Don’t Tell Michael.” – [all laugh] | |
| [06:52] | [Ron] But their new roommate wanted out. | |
| [06:54] | Maybe I’ll go make us some popcorn. | |
| [06:56] | Oh. Are we gonna go in the kitchen? | |
| [06:58] | We’re gonna, I don’t know, boil some hot oil? | |
| [07:01] | [laughs] Nice try, bitch. | |
| [07:04] | Yeah, nice try, B. | |
| [07:06] | – I’d love some popcorn, please. – [Oscar] Hey, smart guy. | |
| [07:10] | Can we watch a movie, | |
| [07:12] | or just leave the lights on so we can’t see you? | |
| [07:14] | We can stay up late if you want and watch it, or something. | |
| [07:17] | – [woman] Thanks for dinner, Annette. – [door rattles] | |
| [07:20] | – [Maeby] See you next time, Bev. – I thought you said you lived here alone. | |
| [07:24] | It’s my old lady. Leave her out of it, please? | |
| [07:26] | She’s a very sweet person. | |
| [07:27] | She’s smiling all the time, even when she sleeps. | |
| [07:29] | [Maeby] I always get the wrong key. | |
| [07:31] | – On my cue, rising. – [Buster] Mm… | |
| [07:34] | [Oscar] And in three, two, one. | |
| [07:37] | [all] Inside, outside. Inside, outside. Inside, outside. | |
| [07:41] | Outside. Inside, outside. | |
| [07:43] | – You blow our cover, and she’s a goner. – [whimpering] Inside, outside. | |
| [07:47] | [rattling] | |
| [07:50] | Run, Annette, run! | |
| [07:51] | – [gasps] Maeby? Why’d he call you Annette? | – [gasps] |
| [07:53] | – [alarm blaring] – Huh? [grunts] | |
| [07:55] | [gasps] | |
| [07:57] | Hand. | |
| [07:58] | [both] Inside, outside. Inside, outside. | |
| [08:01] | And this is why I told you to buy the safety hair. | |
| [08:03] | [Ron] While Maeby was hoping to erase memories… | |
| [08:06] | [Maeby] Now I gotta drink the evidence. | |
| [08:08] | …back at the model home, Michael was bonding with his son. | |
| [08:11] | You know? You’re dating the girl of my dreams. | |
| [08:14] | Your dreams. You know? | |
| [08:16] | What I meant was, my dreams are your dreams. | |
| [08:18] | Have you ever noticed that dreams are hard to remember? | |
| [08:20] | There’s one I can’t forget. | |
| [08:22] | The dream of us working together. Do you remember | |
| [08:24] | how we wanted to make sure we could hang out all day every day? | |
| [08:27] | – Like you and your dad. – That was not a dream. | |
| [08:29] | Think I wanted to hang out with my father? | |
| [08:31] | That was a job. No, but listen, I want you to know | |
| [08:33] | that I’m available to you 24 hours a day, | |
| [08:35] | any time you want, to talk about business. | |
| [08:37] | And don’t think I can’t handle the tech stuff. | |
| [08:39] | I spent those five and a half weeks up at the Search campus. | |
| [08:42] | I’m texting with one hand, you’ve seen that. | |
| [08:43] | Well, my problems are not that easily solved. | |
| [08:46] | – Oh, yeah? – Turns out, we’re way more in debt | |
| [08:48] | than I thought we were. | |
| [08:49] | – Same here. [laughs softly] – Yeah. | |
| [08:51] | I… I’m suddenly running the Bluth Company, | |
| [08:53] | and they’re up to something. I don’t know what it is, | |
| [08:55] | but we’re broke. | |
| [08:56] | It’s just, these offices are just wiping us out. | |
| [08:58] | And same here. Gob’s got us on two floors now. | |
| [09:01] | Trying to get my employees to describe what they’re doing is like pulling teeth. | |
| [09:04] | I think there are a couple of Two Hour Teeth guys | |
| [09:06] | still on the payroll. No one will confirm, but I’m convinced that in the break room, | |
| [09:10] | there’s still an active chair. Anyway, despite all of this, | |
| [09:12] | you and I are gonna get through this. You want to know why? | |
| [09:15] | The Bluth boys, we find a way. | |
| [09:16] | – We’re winners. – Agreed. | |
| [09:19] | Hey, so, non sequitur, what do you know about bankruptcy? | |
| [09:22] | You know, I was just checking into that. [chuckles] No, look. | |
| [09:25] | I don’t know what else I can do. | |
| [09:26] | Dad said go in there and save the company, find money. | |
| [09:29] | But despite all their shady bookkeeping, there’s nothing left. | |
| [09:32] | There’s just… there’s Sudden Valley. That’s it. | |
| [09:34] | The one thing that was mine. Well, and whatever’s | |
| [09:36] | in that file, that “Gated Community,” but… but you’re different. | |
| [09:40] | You’re right at the beginning. | |
| [09:41] | You shouldn’t be thinking about bankruptcy at all, you know? | |
| [09:45] | Can’t you get a loan? | |
| [09:47] | [sighs] Well, I mean, Rebel offered to buy the whole company outright. | |
| [09:51] | – Oh, you can’t do that. – No. I mean… | |
| [09:53] | – Forget about that. – What if the software… | |
| [09:55] | – Is worth billions? – …never works? | |
| [09:58] | It doesn’t seem likely. | |
| [09:59] | – These expenses are just killing us. – Hey, hang on. | |
| [10:02] | Uh, I think I got a solution for both of us. | |
| [10:06] | [elevator bell dings] | |
| [10:09] | – And… open your eyes. – Was I supposed to close them? | |
| [10:13] | Hmm? Oh, yeah. Well, anyway, | |
| [10:14] | these are the offices. What do you think? | |
| [10:16] | Oh, ’cause you’re on the fourth floor now. I… | |
| [10:18] | Yeah, you set up Fakeblock here. It’s free rent. | |
| [10:22] | I don’t know, I mean, you know, this was your office. | |
| [10:24] | This was where you were president. | |
| [10:26] | Where decisions were made that you… | |
| [10:28] | Eventually found out about. | |
| [10:30] | But… but, look, you know, this was our dream, right? | |
| [10:32] | To work together? Do you remember | |
| [10:33] | – all the dreaming we did? – Yeah. | |
| [10:35] | Have lunch together. Work out in the late afternoon. | |
| [10:37] | That’s right, we were gonna put a weight room | |
| [10:38] | – in the back office. – You know it, yeah. | |
| [10:40] | Drive home together, shower up, grab dinner, | |
| [10:42] | – PJs on, teeth brushed. – A little TV. | |
| [10:44] | A little bit of TV, sure, and then a little kiss good night | |
| [10:47] | and off to bed. You know, I am just realizing | |
| [10:49] | that I’m still picturing you as a ten-year-old. | |
| [10:51] | I think I was trying to engineer | |
| [10:53] | a way to stay up late and watch The Tom Green Show. | |
| [10:55] | Mm, yeah, see, I don’t get the new guys. | |
| [10:57] | Anyway, it can be a new dream, then, you know? | |
| [10:59] | I’ll be able to come here all the time. You’ll be able to pop up whenever. | |
| [11:03] | I’m not sure it’s a good idea, you know? | |
| [11:05] | – Yeah. – I’m feeling anxious as it is. | |
| [11:06] | This is just gonna be great, isn’t it? | |
| [11:08] | It’s gonna be so much fun! | |
| [11:10] | [Ron] George Michael wasn’t the only one who felt shackled to his father. | |
| [11:14] | [Buster and Oscar] Inside, outside, inside, outside, | |
| [11:16] | inside, outside, inside… | |
| [11:18] | – [Buster] Hello. – [Oscar] Oh, no. | |
| [11:19] | – [girl] Ew! – Waving with righty. We’ve discussed this. | |
| [11:22] | – [Buster] Sorry. – [Oscar] There’s gotta be a way | |
| [11:24] | we can cover more ground without attracting attention. | |
| [11:27] | Oh, I’ve got the perfect idea for that. | |
| [11:33] | [Buster and Oscar] Wet side, dry side, wet side, dry side, wet side, dry side… | |
| [11:36] | – Okay. – [mutters] | |
| [11:38] | Are you all right? | |
| [11:40] | We should have taken the tandem bike. | |
| [11:42] | [Oscar] Nah. Never would have fit in here. | |
| [11:43] | – [Buster gasps] – [Oscar] Oh, I see what you mean. | |
| [11:47] | [Ron] George Michael was showing his cousin | |
| [11:49] | the new Fakeblock offices. | |
| [11:51] | [George Michael] He wants me to help him print things, and I… | |
| [11:54] | I will say the other place had more of a tech start-up vibe. | |
| [11:58] | Yeah, but the fraud part will be more at home here, you know? | |
| [12:01] | Yeah. If these walls could only testify, huh? [chuckles] | |
| [12:05] | I don’t understand the problem. I thought Rebel said | |
| [12:08] | she was gonna buy the company. | |
| [12:10] | Well, I’m not gonna sell a bogus company to my girlfriend. | |
| [12:12] | Why not? It’s the perfect way to end a terrible relationship. | |
| [12:15] | It’s not terrible. It’s… it’s a great relationship. | |
| [12:17] | Yes, but it won’t be once you sell her a shitty company. | |
| [12:20] | That’s what I’m trying to tell you. You’re more impossible | |
| [12:22] | to talk to than Annette. | |
| [12:24] | – You talk to Annette? – No. | |
| [12:27] | But Stan does. | |
| [12:29] | And as much as we try to infuriate him, | |
| [12:31] | he won’t get the hint. What do I gotta do, hit him on the head? | |
| [12:35] | But, next thing you know, he’s back from the hospital. | |
| [12:36] | – So you actually did hit him? – Yeah, just with a wine bottle, | |
| [12:39] | but it wasn’t open. | |
| [12:40] | I guess I could do it again, | |
| [12:41] | but I just can’t send him back to the ER again, you know? | |
| [12:44] | Three times in one week. | |
| [12:45] | People are gonna start asking, you know, elderly abuse? | |
| [12:48] | [sighs] Which apparently is a real thing. | |
| [12:49] | I guess all old people are this annoying. | |
| [12:51] | Well, so, I’ve looked into selling the company | |
| [12:53] | to somebody else, but the thing is that tech companies | |
| [12:55] | don’t normally sell without a whole lot of vetting. | |
| [12:58] | And anyone I’ve talked to will only do it | |
| [12:59] | if the president stays on, so before we find a clueless buyer, | |
| [13:02] | we’re gonna have to find a clueless president. | |
| [13:04] | And it’s not gonna be me. Someone that’s stupid | |
| [13:06] | and lazy enough that he doesn’t ask any questions | |
| [13:08] | – about the actual software. – Oh, I love | |
| [13:10] | how you’re assuming it’s a he. | |
| [13:11] | [Gob] I know what you’re thinking! | |
| [13:13] | Look who’s back. | |
| [13:15] | After your father unceremoniously let me quit. | |
| [13:18] | Now I’m back down on the third floor without so much | |
| [13:20] | as a “feel free to use the third floor” joke. | |
| [13:22] | [takes deep breath] Anyway… | |
| [13:25] | what are you two doing down here after a long mid-weekend? | |
| [13:28] | Well, Dad said we could use the offices for Fakeblock. | |
| [13:30] | He actually said, “Feel free to use the third floor.” | |
| [13:33] | Mm. Now I’m glad I gave one of those offices away. | |
| [13:36] | – You gave an office away? – Well, just one of the smaller ones. | |
| [13:39] | You won’t even know it’s being used. [chuckles] | |
| [13:40] | [Tobias] …because an actor’s body is his instrument. | |
| [13:43] | Come get my shower ready and then take over | |
| [13:45] | – on the elliptical. – I’m on it. I got it. | |
| [13:47] | No, you can’t take another shower. | |
| [13:49] | I’m still in socks, and I’m about to serve food. | |
| [13:52] | Well, what’s for dinner? | |
| [13:53] | Turkey jerky, popcorn, | |
| [13:55] | – and leftover Jeff. – Aw. There’s no Linda left? | |
| [13:59] | You know, I don’t want to jinx it, | |
| [14:00] | but this certainly is better than living in that attic, yes? | |
| [14:03] | – Oh, definitely. – It’s so great, Dad. | |
| [14:05] | And what’s our number one rule? | |
| [14:07] | [both] Don’t tell Michael. | |
| [14:08] | Well, yes, but I also meant, 88 more days, and squatter’s rights kick in. | |
| [14:12] | ♪ 88 days and squatter’s rights kick in ♪ | |
| [14:15] | [all] ♪ 88 days and squatter’s rights kick in ♪ | |
| [14:17] | ♪ 88 days and squatter’s rights… ♪ | |
| [14:18] | This is going too fast now. Murphybrown, this is going too fast. | |
| [14:23] | – All right, sorry. – Switch it back. Oh! | |
| [14:25] | – [Tobias yelling] – [DeBrie] Oh, God! Oh, God! | |
| [14:28] | Anyway, I’m just stopping by here ’cause this is where my e-mail comes. | |
| [14:31] | [Maeby] You could check your e-mail anywhere. | |
| [14:33] | Uh, yeah, e-mail, but this is g-mail. | |
| [14:36] | Down here on the third floor set it up for me, | |
| [14:37] | and then when we moved to the fourth, | |
| [14:39] | I was like, screw it, I’ll just come down here to check it, | |
| [14:41] | ’cause I don’t want wires going everywhere. | |
| [14:43] | You can use your phone for that. | |
| [14:45] | Yeah, and I could use a pigeon. | |
| [14:47] | But for this particular task, I’ve chosen e-mail. [grunts] | |
| [14:51] | Anyway, I sent my résumé out, | |
| [14:53] | and the only firm that’s gotten back to me | |
| [14:56] | is the gang over at Mailer Daemon. | |
| [14:58] | Aw, damn it! God, missed him again. | |
| [15:00] | It seems like they write me back | |
| [15:02] | every time I step away from this thing. | |
| [15:04] | Well, on the other hand, this is on them, | |
| [15:06] | ’cause I made it clear that I was looking for a three-day-a-week president job, | |
| [15:10] | and why… why… [laughing, stammering] | |
| [15:12] | [breathy laughing] | |
| [15:14] | [exhaling repeatedly] Why-why… when… | |
| [15:18] | when… what kind of… when… what…? | |
| [15:21] | You’re looking for a president job? | |
| [15:24] | [gasping, stammering] | |
| [15:27] | – I’ll be damned, it is a he. – Who e-mails back… | |
| [15:30] | What? At Wednesday at nap? | |
| [15:32] | [George Michael] Hey, Gob, we want to beat | |
| [15:33] | Mailer Daemon to the punch. | |
| [15:35] | Come to Fakeblock. Be our president. | |
| [15:37] | [George Michael] You won’t need to get your e-mail redelivered. | |
| [15:39] | Yeah. You already know the lay of the office. | |
| [15:41] | You won’t have to learn new snacks. | |
| [15:44] | [Maeby] And everybody knows you, | |
| [15:45] | so there won’t be gaining everyone’s respect. | |
| [15:47] | And the best part is, you get paid in stock. | |
| [15:49] | Right. Money never has to change hands. | |
| [15:53] | I’m listening. | |
| [15:56] | – That’s it. We’re done talking. – Mm-hmm. | |
| [15:59] | Can I get back to you? | |
| [16:00] | – Yeah. – I’m in. | |
| [16:02] | – Great! – Well, looks like | |
| [16:04] | I’m gonna need that office space after all. | |
| [16:07] | This is not gonna be an easy conversation. | |
| [16:10] | [Tobias, muffled] But mostly thankful for the one man | |
| [16:13] | who made this all possible. | |
| [16:14] | Who took this ragtag, talented troupe of a family | |
| [16:17] | and… and put a roof over their head, | |
| [16:19] | Jeff in their mouth, and gave us the dignity | |
| [16:22] | to move as we will after work hours. | |
| [16:25] | – To my brother-in-law Gob. – [door opens] | |
| [16:27] | Long may… | |
| [16:29] | I need you guys out of here. | |
| [16:31] | And we’re on the move again. | |
| [16:32] | I don’t want to go back to living in that attic. | |
| [16:34] | And the heat made me like, “What’s happening? Who are you?” | |
| [16:36] | – We’ll figure something out, Murphybrown. – Okay, I hate to be | |
| [16:38] | the one to suggest it, but I know about a tent city. | |
| [16:40] | Well, there you go. We’re down a rung, | |
| [16:42] | but we’re down a rung together. | |
| [16:44] | [Gob] Thanks, guys. My first day as president, | |
| [16:46] | and kicking people out makes it… | |
| [16:48] | – makes it seem real. – [Tobias] Oh, Gob. Something came for you. | |
| [16:51] | [Gob] Hmm. | |
| [16:54] | Powerful Gay Tastemakers? | |
| [16:56] | [Tobias] The Gay Mafia. | |
| [16:58] | – What? – That’s the Gay Mafia. | |
| [17:00] | Surely you’ve heard of them. | |
| [17:01] | Very flattering. That’s the real deal. | |
| [17:05] | [Gob] I wonder if this is from Tony. | |
| [17:08] | Maybe this is how he’s trying to reach out to me. | |
| [17:10] | Wow. So I guess… | |
| [17:13] | I guess sometimes things do work out, after all. | |
| [17:17] | – So we can stay? – No. | |
| [17:19] | For me. | |
| [17:21] | Things work out for me. | |
| [17:23] | [Ron] And while things were working out for Gob, | |
| [17:25] | upstairs, things were not working out so well | |
| [17:28] | – for Michael. – Remember, Mom doesn’t want me | |
| [17:31] | to see the file, so I guess this is what you’d call a… | |
| [17:33] | – Don’t tell Gangee. – You see the fun we have? | |
| [17:36] | I know you do. Come on, the printer’s in here. | |
| [17:39] | So, it is a three-dimensional printer, but I’ve just let it go all day. | |
| [17:44] | What is this? | |
| [17:45] | Is this the printer you sent the file to? | |
| [17:47] | Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think so. | |
| [17:50] | The… the file that was labeled “Gated Community.” | |
| [17:55] | I think that this is | |
| [17:58] | a map that they did not want me to see. | |
| [18:01] | It looks like a wall on the border, but… | |
| [18:05] | made out of teeth? | |
| [18:07] | She’s crazy. She’s totally crazy. | |
| [18:12] | That might be a setting in the printer. | |
| [18:13] | Let me see what we have here. Yeah. See? | |
| [18:15] | Right here. You have to uncheck “Presume Teeth.” | |
| [18:18] | This is what they need me to find money for. | |
| [18:19] | This is their secret project, huh? | |
| [18:21] | Well, there’s only one way to find out for sure. | |
| [18:23] | Uncheck “Presume Teeth.” | |
| [18:25] | And print again. | |
| [18:27] | [Ron] And as they went to do so, | |
| [18:29] | Gob went to meet with the Gay Mafia, | |
| [18:31] | hoping to run into his old friend Tony Wonder. | |
| [18:35] | Are there any tastemakers? | |
| [18:41] | Tastemakers? | |
| [18:42] | You sold a French Regency armoire, and you don’t think I’m gonna hear? | |
| [18:46] | I want my taste. If not… | |
| [18:49] | Listen to this. | |
| [18:51] | [tapping] | |
| [18:59] | – Mmm. – That was me tap-dancing on your grave, | |
| [19:03] | all right? | |
| [19:04] | Yeah, I think I’m in the wrong place. | |
| [19:06] | – I was looking for a guy named Tony. – No, Mr. Bluth. | |
| [19:08] | You’re exactly in the right place. Take a seat. | |
| [19:11] | No, yeah, you know what? I… I’m fine. | |
| [19:13] | We wanted to congratulate you on your coming out. | |
| [19:16] | So brave. | |
| [19:18] | – So brave. | – So brave. |
| [19:20] | So brave. But you know what? Thank you. It’s… | |
| [19:22] | – The struggle is… – Oh, shut up. | |
| [19:23] | We know you’re as straight as an Oklahoma highway. | |
| [19:26] | They’re straight, right? | |
| [19:27] | I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been in Oklahoma. | |
| [19:29] | You were in Oklahoma! | |
| [19:31] | You’re right. In the bus and truck. | |
| [19:34] | ♪ You’re doin’ fine, Oklahoma ♪ | |
| [19:37] | ♪ Oklahoma, O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A ♪ | |
| [19:42] | ♪ Oklahoma ♪ | |
| [19:48] | Is that a song? I… | |
| [19:51] | You’re straight. | |
| [19:52] | No, no, no. I’m… I’m gay. | |
| [19:55] | Yeah, sure, because of your trick. | |
| [19:57] | [Ron] Gob had recently performed a sexuality switch illusion at a parade. | |
| [20:01] | It ended unexpectedly when his partner had a premature emulsification. | |
| [20:06] | This left Gob publicly out of the closet… | |
| [20:09] | Who’s straight now? | |
| [20:11] | …with no way back in | |
| [20:13] | and a sexual identity | |
| [20:15] | the magician’s code precluded him from undoing. | |
| [20:17] | [man] Well, that son of a buck gonna have to stay gay. | |
| [20:19] | [man] Unfortunately for you, we also caught your appearance | |
| [20:22] | on that religious program | |
| [20:23] | And As It Is Such, So Also As Such It Is…what is it? | |
| [20:28] | – “Unto you,” boss. – [man] Unto You. | |
| [20:30] | – Yes. – [Ron] Where Gob announced | |
| [20:32] | he was seeking Christian sexuality conversion… | |
| [20:35] | To Christianity! | |
| [20:36] | …so he could find a plausible way… | |
| [20:38] | To not being into guys, I guess. | |
| [20:41] | You are talking about praying away the gay. | |
| [20:44] | …to lead a public life | |
| [20:45] | – as a straight man. – Well, yeah, I… | |
| [20:47] | Sure, I guess it could get me off. | |
| [20:48] | – I mean, out. – [man] That sends a message | |
| [20:51] | that conversion therapy works, which will hurt us. | |
| [20:54] | And we’re the ones doing the hurting. | |
| [20:57] | Oh, right, then there’d be less gays that would suck the gays out. | |
| [21:01] | – [man] No. – I mean, off. | |
| [21:02] | [man] Because it’s a destructive sham that thinks | |
| [21:05] | that homosexuality can be cured through shame and fear, | |
| [21:08] | you pathetic little dipshit. | |
| [21:11] | You’re right, I hear you. | |
| [21:12] | And I’ll cancel my appointment. I’ll lose my deposit, but right is right. | |
| [21:16] | It’s too late for that. You said on TV | |
| [21:18] | you’re going into conversion therapy, | |
| [21:20] | so you are going to go. | |
| [21:22] | And then you’re going to announce it didn’t work. | |
| [21:25] | So… I have to stay gay? | |
| [21:28] | Just for seven years. Then we’ll let you age out. | |
| [21:31] | It’s a lot more generous than what I did | |
| [21:34] | to that last guy who faked being gay. | |
| [21:35] | You know him. Your pal Tony Wonder. | |
| [21:38] | Don’t worry. We took care of him. Didn’t we, boys? | |
| [21:41] | – [man 2] We sure did. – [man 3] We sure did. | |
| [21:42] | [man] Now, do as you’re told, and you will have made | |
| [21:45] | some very powerful friends. | |
| [21:48] | – In case you ever need a favor. – [Gob] Austero. | |
| [21:51] | Yes, I think I was shacking up with your ex-wife. | |
| [21:54] | She was my sister. | |
| [21:56] | My apologies. | |
| [21:57] | Think I was shacking up with your sister. | |
| [22:00] | Maybe he is gay. | |
| [22:02] | [Gob] You know, I hope you don’t think… | |
| [22:03] | I mean, I… Listen, I want you to know, | |
| [22:05] | my brother probably didn’t have anything to do | |
| [22:07] | with your sister’s disappearance. | |
| [22:10] | I’m not worried about it. | |
| [22:12] | To be honest, we fought all the time, | |
| [22:14] | so it’s probably better for our relationship | |
| [22:17] | that she’s no longer around. | |
| [22:21] | Tell me about it. | |
| [22:22] | My sister and I don’t get along, either. She just left… | |
| [22:26] | Now that you know about our organization, | |
| [22:28] | we’re going to ask for a little insurance to make sure | |
| [22:31] | – you will always be loyal to us. – [snaps fingers] | |
| [22:36] | Since you’re so good at magic, | |
| [22:38] | why don’t you make that disappear. | |
| [22:44] | Is that what I think it is? | |
| [22:45] | – Yes, it’s what you think it is. – Yeah. | |
| [22:47] | We got as much of the cement off as we could. | |
| [22:49] | Don’t need it traced back to us. | |
| [22:52] | You mention this to anyone, | |
| [22:53] | and this is the last sound you’re going to hear. | |
| [22:55] | – [tapping] – You’re gonna… tap-dance on my grave? | |
| [23:01] | Oh, hell, you saw the matinee. Out you go. | |
| [23:05] | Chop-chop. I want it off my floor | |
| [23:07] | and somewhere no one will find it. | |
| [23:09] | I don’t have all day. | |
| [23:10] | I’ve got to get out of these work clothes. | |
| [23:13] | I have house seats for Chita Rivera tonight. | |
| [23:15] | I don’t know who he is. | |
| [23:19] | Stupid day to take an Uber. | |
| [23:21] | [Ron] On the next Arrested Development. | |
| [23:24] | Tobias’s family settles in at a tent city. | |
| [23:27] | Looks like your old man came through with that camping trip. | |
| [23:30] | Although we should stay together | |
| [23:32] | – just to be safe. – [DeBrie] That’s right. | |
| [23:33] | [whispering] We need to keep a low profile. | |
| [23:35] | Tent City is all about survival. | |
| [23:38] | [whispering] So I say we just hunker down, okay? | |
| [23:41] | I bet this place gets a lot quieter after dark. | |
| [23:42] | [birds chirping] | |
| [23:44] | Also, we could always go to the food court. | |
| [23:47] | [DeBrie] Oh, and maybe we can ask them to turn down the birds. | |
| [23:53] | [theme music playing] |