| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:10] | [Ron Howard] While waiting for Michael to return from prison with Buster, | |
| [00:14] | the Bluth family was recycling a welcome home party. | |
| [00:18] | Why do we have to have a partyevery time someone in this family | |
| [00:20] | – is released from prison? – Tradition. | |
| [00:23] | – Some traditions get old. – [sighs] | |
| [00:25] | Like that god-awful thing you used to make me do | |
| [00:27] | on your birthday. | |
| [00:29] | Cook? | |
| [00:30] | Plus, we have some business problems to deal with. | |
| [00:33] | Sally Sitwell won the election and now, | |
| [00:36] | for whatever reason, supports building the wall. | |
| [00:39] | We need to come up with two million dollars | |
| [00:41] | – or we’re gonna make powerful enemies. – Okay. | |
| [00:43] | – Right, shush. – [door closes] | |
| [00:45] | Not in front of the grandkids. I don’t want them to know | |
| [00:46] | about the shady business scams | |
| [00:48] | – that go on in this family. – We lied to investors, | |
| [00:50] | so we have no product and we’re two million dollars in debt. | |
| [00:53] | The next welcome home party’s gonna be for us. | |
| [00:55] | Oh, don’t be ridiculous. My name isn’t on anything. | |
| [00:58] | Why are you so riled up all of a sudden? | |
| [01:00] | [Ron] He was nervous because after his girlfriend invested | |
| [01:03] | in his non-existent business, | |
| [01:04] | …everybody needs a bail-out… | |
| [01:05] | The pressures of his lie only grew worse. | |
| [01:08] | – …a date with a sexy man. – What? I thought | |
| [01:10] | – I was taking you out tonight. – [Rebel] Oh, relax, you’re fine. | |
| [01:12] | Know what? I’ve never been attracted to handsome men. | |
| [01:15] | Ah. | |
| [01:16] | Fakeblock is gonna change the world. Which reminds me, I’m dying to see it. | |
| [01:20] | No, I know, it’s… We’ve just been busy with all our coding and all the goddamn… | |
| [01:24] | [chuckles] …coding and, um… | |
| [01:28] | also programming, so it’s ju… | |
| [01:29] | But as soon as it’s up and running, we’ll… we’ll get you over there and… | |
| [01:32] | No. As a part-owner, I want to see it while all the work is happening, | |
| [01:37] | – and I’m not gonna take no for an answer. – Well, but, | |
| [01:39] | – the coding, and… – [Maeby] Well, problem solved. | |
| [01:41] | Stick her with all of it. | |
| [01:42] | Let her buy it. She’ll get all our liabilities, | |
| [01:43] | and then anything over two million, we get to keep. | |
| [01:45] | I can’t do that to someone that I have feelings for. | |
| [01:48] | So stop having feelings for her. | |
| [01:50] | What? Is that something you can do with people? | |
| [01:52] | Yeah, once I learned how to do it with my parents, | |
| [01:54] | it was easy with everyone else. It’s like a heart switch, you know? | |
| [01:57] | Click. I love you. Click. I love you not. | |
| [02:00] | Click. I love you. Click. I love you not. | |
| [02:03] | Can’t you do that? | |
| [02:05] | No, but in my defense, I’m not a sociopath. | |
| [02:08] | [dramatic music plays] | |
| [02:12] | Click. | |
| [02:14] | [Ron] On the other side of the room, however, | |
| [02:16] | Gob still had a very uncomfortable | |
| [02:18] | “heart on” for his friend Tony. | |
| [02:21] | – Who had recently disappeared. – He’s alive. He got out. | |
| [02:25] | [John, on TV] It seems the Christian-y fellow… | |
| [02:27] | Definitely got out, right? | |
| [02:28] | …is now a gay man and, by the looks of things, | |
| [02:31] | – he’ll be staying that way. – Why wouldn’t he come out? | |
| [02:34] | Oh, who knows what makes a guy think he can pass for straight? | |
| [02:38] | I mean, if he really is gay, he can try to hide it, | |
| [02:40] | but trust me, it will come out | |
| [02:43] | in the most unexpected balls. | |
| [02:45] | Yeah, but the problem is that now the world thinks | |
| [02:47] | that I’m gay, and if I say it was a trick, | |
| [02:48] | well, then the alliance will have me by the balls. | |
| [02:51] | Uh… [laughs] | |
| [02:54] | Excuse me, “balls”? | |
| [02:56] | You realize you just said “balls”? [chuckles] | |
| [02:59] | – But you said balls. – [chuckling] Oh, well that’s | |
| [03:01] | three times I’m hearing balls now. | |
| [03:03] | I put… You said balls, so… Then I said balls… | |
| [03:05] | Why don’t you tell Rebel she can’t see the company? | |
| [03:08] | Then she’s gonna know I’m not a tech entrepreneur | |
| [03:10] | named George Maharis. | |
| [03:12] | – And I’m the sociopath. – [Gob] Both of our hands | |
| [03:14] | – were all over… – What if I take her there, | |
| [03:15] | but it’s locked, and I can’t wait to eat this snow cone. | |
| [03:18] | – Lovely party. – Yeah, it is a great party. | |
| [03:20] | What if I take her there, but it’s locked and we can’t get in? | |
| [03:22] | That’s the sign of a healthy business. It’s closed in the middle of a Tuesday, | |
| [03:26] | – and the owner’s locked out. – [John Beard] Of course, | |
| [03:27] | these are paid protestors that the magicians hired. | |
| [03:30] | Not real protestors, but that’s kind of the norm now, isn’t it? | |
| [03:33] | What if she’s afraid to go in? | |
| [03:35] | ‘Cause there’s angry protesters out front? | |
| [03:38] | – Who would protest a tech company? – Anonymous. | |
| [03:41] | – What’s that? – You don’t know Anonymous? | |
| [03:43] | They’re those hacker guys that wear those Guy Fawkes masks? | |
| [03:47] | Oh, shit. That’s who the note was from. | |
| [03:49] | [Ron] George Michael had first seen the name Anonymous | |
| [03:53] | when debuting his software… | |
| [03:54] | [George Michael] Uh, I’d like to thank… | |
| [03:56] | [Ron] …which he thought was code | |
| [03:58] | – from Rebel. – Let’s put up this wall. | |
| [04:00] | – Have a good night. – [Ron] Having paid little attention | |
| [04:01] | to the men in the Guy Fawkes masks. | |
| [04:04] | – Men who continued to harass him. – [George Michael] Okay, so, | |
| [04:06] | for scenario number two. You found out… | |
| [04:08] | [man, distorted] We’ll find you and destroy Fakeblock. | |
| [04:10] | You can hide behind your mask like a coward, | |
| [04:13] | but I will… Oh, well, that’s a bad example, obviously… | |
| [04:16] | [woman] David, you want Pop-Tarts for dinner? | |
| [04:19] | [man] Mom, don’t say my name! | |
| [04:20] | [Ron] But Anonymous failed to be specific enough | |
| [04:23] | – to make an impression. – [man] I understand | |
| [04:25] | you’ve ignored my cousin Kevin’s… | |
| [04:26] | – I mean, Anonymous’ other warning… – Hello. | |
| [04:29] | They’ve been threatening me for months. | |
| [04:30] | Hey, that’s perfect. Those guys will ruin your life. | |
| [04:34] | – Hey, where did you find those guys? – They’re paid protestors, boy! | |
| [04:38] | [chuckling] Gay Gob’s funny. | |
| [04:41] | Uh, do you think they could be Anonymous? Like Guy Fawkeses? | |
| [04:44] | Guy Fawkeses? | |
| [04:45] | [George Michael] Can you get me guys like that? | |
| [04:47] | You bet your balls I can get you some Guy Fawkeses. | |
| [04:49] | [Tobias laughs] Don’t hold your balls. I would not hold my balls on that one. | |
| [04:53] | – [Ron] And finally, Michael returned… – Where’s Buster? | |
| [04:55] | – …without the guest of honor. – Don’t you have him? | |
| [04:57] | No. I went to the jail to pick him up, and no one there has seen him | |
| [05:00] | since the parade. | |
| [05:01] | Now, you did let him know he was being released, right? | |
| [05:04] | [Lucille] Well, I’m sure they told him at the jail after the parade. | |
| [05:07] | Mother Bluth, I think you might be interested in this. | |
| [05:11] | [Joni] Oh, speaking of maniacs, let’s watch this again. | |
| [05:14] | That’s a real criminal inside that makeshift jail cell. | |
| [05:18] | – It’s a jailbreak. – [John] You know, it’s my… | |
| [05:20] | Is that Oscar? | |
| [05:21] | Well, it’s not you! | |
| [05:23] | Who even told Oscar Buster was in jail? | |
| [05:25] | [Ron] Oscar was told by Barry, | |
| [05:27] | who had driven down to Mexico | |
| [05:29] | – and thought he was talking to George. – You are here! | |
| [05:32] | I came down here to warn you that the cops want you | |
| [05:34] | to lead them to the stair car, | |
| [05:37] | because that’s the evidence that’s gonna keep Buster in jail. | |
| [05:39] | Buster’s in jail? My boy. My boy. | |
| [05:42] | [Ron] And so, Oscar used the parade | |
| [05:44] | as cover for breaking Buster out of prison, | |
| [05:48] | knocking Stan Sitwell out in the process. | |
| [05:50] | Dad? Dad! | |
| [05:52] | [Michael] So they escaped from prison a half hour | |
| [05:54] | before he was gonna be legally released? | |
| [05:56] | – [Lucille] No one told him. – He’s got a lot of spunk. | |
| [05:59] | I like that on a guy. | |
| [06:00] | If Oscar is with Buster, then where is Lucille 2? | |
| [06:03] | I mean, she could be dead, and Buster will be charged with murder. | |
| [06:06] | Or worse, she could come back, | |
| [06:08] | and they would charge us with embezzlement. | |
| [06:10] | Okay. Buster thinks he’s broken out of prison. | |
| [06:12] | God knows what he’s gonna do. | |
| [06:13] | Well, somebody has to find him. | |
| [06:14] | You’re the cause of it, and he does respond | |
| [06:16] | – to your scent. – I’ll go with you, | |
| [06:18] | and we will find our son together, | |
| [06:20] | and perhaps we will find each other along the way. | |
| [06:25] | Why don’t you find some money along the way | |
| [06:27] | to make up for the land you lost in Mexico? | |
| [06:29] | Father, Mother, please. | |
| [06:32] | Our whole family is in crisis. | |
| [06:34] | For I have seen what happens when families turn on each other. | |
| [06:37] | Just as I found my son, I lost him. | |
| [06:39] | And just as I lost my wife, I… I found my replacement wife, | |
| [06:43] | but then I… I lost her. | |
| [06:45] | [crying] I… I have nobody. | |
| [06:49] | Well, you got me, Dad. | |
| [06:51] | Not now, Maeby. | |
| [06:52] | I have… what? Like, one person. | |
| [06:57] | Click. | |
| [06:58] | [Ron] Now the story of a wealthy family | |
| [07:00] | who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice | |
| [07:03] | but to keep them all together. | |
| [07:05] | [theme song playing] | |
| [07:11] | It’s Arrested Development. | |
| [07:17] | George Sr. had again been rejected by his wife. | |
| [07:21] | And, feeling low, he decided to get his affairs in order. | |
| [07:24] | …you’re trying to keep your distance from the company, | |
| [07:26] | and I appreciate that, but you are the copresident with Gob. | |
| [07:29] | Well, hang on. President? When did I become president? | |
| [07:32] | Well, I mean, Sudden Valley. I mean, that’s yours. | |
| [07:34] | – I mean, we’re carrying that for you. – You forgave the debt. | |
| [07:38] | We forgot the debt. | |
| [07:39] | Basically, what we did was we absorbed everything, including you. | |
| [07:45] | And does Gob know that we’re copresidents? | |
| [07:46] | [George Sr.] Gob doesn’t know that there’s a B | |
| [07:48] | – in the word “debt.” – If you’re gonna run the Bluth Company, | |
| [07:51] | that word’s gonna come up. | |
| [07:52] | Go into the company, you look at the books, | |
| [07:54] | you get in there, you find out if there’s any money. | |
| [07:57] | I need an evaluation. | |
| [08:00] | Yeah, that’s an understatement. | |
| [08:02] | All right. You know I’d really like to be involved, | |
| [08:03] | but I can’t risk being involved in anything | |
| [08:05] | – that might be illegal. – Agreed. | |
| [08:07] | – That’s what Gob is for. – Boy, I was really hoping | |
| [08:09] | you were gonna say there’s nothing illegal. | |
| [08:12] | It’s the last thing you’ll ever need to do for me. | |
| [08:16] | [acoustic guitar plays] | |
| [08:17] | – You heard a yes? – [George Sr.] Thank you. | |
| [08:20] | – [Ron] Meanwhile, Tobias… – Kudos on being so quiet. | |
| [08:23] | …checked in with the family who hadn’t abandoned him, | |
| [08:26] | but were hiding in the attic. | |
| [08:28] | I’ve got slices of stale gummy bear, hard candies and a spare rib. | |
| [08:31] | – Ooh, I’ll take that spare rib. – Could I have the spare rib? | |
| [08:33] | Just joshing. It’s stale gummy bear. | |
| [08:35] | Oh… | |
| [08:36] | Sounded like you were having fun down there. | |
| [08:38] | Oh. [sighs] | |
| [08:39] | It takes a lot out of me, but they like to look at me | |
| [08:41] | as the sticky white glue that holds the family together. | |
| [08:45] | But now… you’re my family. | |
| [08:47] | My biological son and my pathological girlfriend. | |
| [08:52] | And as the provider of this family, I promise… | |
| [08:54] | nay, vow that you will always have a roof over… Ow! | |
| [08:57] | – Dad, are you okay? – Roof balls! Jesus, quiet. | |
| [08:59] | – You’re gonna get us kicked out. – Sorry. | |
| [09:01] | [whispering] Okay, I just think we’re all | |
| [09:03] | a little stressed right now, being stuck in this attic. | |
| [09:06] | Are you sure we can’t just live downstairs in the real house? | |
| [09:09] | Oh, this isn’t a real house. This is a model house. | |
| [09:12] | [Murphybrown] How long do we have to stay here? | |
| [09:14] | Just until I can support us on my actor salary. | |
| [09:16] | – [whimpering] Oh… – [Tobias] Quiet. | |
| [09:18] | You can be excited, but quietly. | |
| [09:20] | [gasping, whimpering] | |
| [09:24] | Oh, no… [whimpers] | |
| [09:27] | [Ron] Meanwhile, Oscar, who was on the run with his son, | |
| [09:30] | knew that he had to get rid of a vehicle that approximated | |
| [09:33] | the very one the police were looking for. | |
| [09:35] | [Oscar] Well, I know I left my truck somewhere around here. | |
| [09:38] | All right, I guess we should get out. | |
| [09:41] | [Buster] I probably shouldn’t have chained us together. | |
| [09:43] | [Oscar] No, no, I should’ve brought a key, | |
| [09:45] | but actually, I think it helps sell | |
| [09:47] | the whole Keystone Cop thing, because it had | |
| [09:48] | – to be something crazy. – [laughs] | |
| [09:50] | Because, you know, in silent movies, it’s not real life. | |
| [09:53] | – No. – All right. So what do you think? Ready? | |
| [09:56] | – Mm-hmm, okay. let’s go. – All right. Here we go. | |
| [09:59] | Oh. | |
| [10:01] | I guess stuffdoes happen like this in real life. | |
| [10:03] | – Can you… Easy peasy. – Go out your side. | |
| [10:05] | – [Buster] Easy peasy. – [horn honks] | |
| [10:07] | Well, that wasn’t so difficult. | |
| [10:09] | – [Oscar] No. – Or funny. | |
| [10:11] | Keystone Cops would’ve made a meal out of this. | |
| [10:13] | – Yeah. – Okay, all right. Watch your hand. | |
| [10:15] | Watching. | |
| [10:18] | – Are you okay? – [shrieks] | |
| [10:21] | Wait a minute. It’s a fake hand. How can it hurt? | |
| [10:23] | No, it’s a rental from prison, and Mother said my next hand… | |
| [10:26] | – All right. – …is gonna be out of my own pocket… | |
| [10:29] | Okay, wait. What’s that over there? | |
| [10:31] | It says Mother of God hospital. | |
| [10:32] | Maybe we can get you a replacement. | |
| [10:35] | But first, we gotta get out of these prison clothes. | |
| [10:40] | – All right. – Okay. | |
| [10:41] | Here’s the deal. We need a walking system | |
| [10:43] | – so we don’t just trip over each other. – Yeah. | |
| [10:45] | – Left, right. Left, right. – Okay. | |
| [10:48] | So we always start with left. | |
| [10:50] | Smooth and easy. | |
| [10:52] | Lemon squeezy. And… | |
| [10:55] | [both]…left… | |
| [10:56] | [Ron] It wasn’t a good system. | |
| [10:58] | But Oscar wasn’t the only twin that was down, | |
| [11:01] | because as Michael headed out to keep the company alive… | |
| [11:06] | he realized he’d need to do the same for its founder. | |
| [11:11] | What are you doing with the hose? | |
| [11:14] | Wha… No, I didn’t know it was on. | |
| [11:17] | I mean, I would never purposefully run a car | |
| [11:19] | with the garage door closed with the family in crisis. | |
| [11:22] | Okay. You know, Dad, this is an electric car. | |
| [11:25] | Oh. | |
| [11:26] | So, the only thing you’re killing is my battery. | |
| [11:28] | Is that funny? I… Oh, God, I can’t get anything right. | |
| [11:33] | Meanwhile, your mother is banging every beach rat | |
| [11:35] | that ever dropped out of a race. | |
| [11:37] | – [Ron] George was referring to this man… – [Lucille] Oh, hi. | |
| [11:41] | Care to join me for a glass of breakfast wine? | |
| [11:43] | …with whom Lucille found she had much in common. | |
| [11:46] | [man] Dusty! | |
| [11:48] | [George Sr.] I mean, she wouldn’t go out with me this afternoon, | |
| [11:50] | – and I know it’s because of him. – [Michael] Dad, | |
| [11:52] | I think you might be giving up, uh, a little too easy. | |
| [11:55] | You know? I mean, Mom loves you. She’s just mad at you. You cheated on her. | |
| [11:59] | Or Uncle Oscar did, I don’t know. I lost the thread | |
| [12:01] | on that one, but she’s probably just trying | |
| [12:02] | to make you jealous, and so… You’re the head of the family, | |
| [12:05] | – give her something that she wants. – Wha… | |
| [12:07] | Are you saying that I should go find Buster? | |
| [12:10] | Show her you’re a good dad. You know, | |
| [12:12] | besides, he’s gonna need to be found and told | |
| [12:14] | he’s free before he does something illegal and ends up back in prison. | |
| [12:17] | – Ah. Maybe Lucille will… – You know? -Uh-huh. | |
| [12:20] | I don’t know, let me back in. | |
| [12:22] | [exhales] Boy, you have to have balls of steel | |
| [12:24] | to survive in a hole like that. | |
| [12:26] | And the same could be said for prison. | |
| [12:32] | [Ron] And soon, Michael was going over the books | |
| [12:34] | in what Gob had turned into the conference room. | |
| [12:37] | “Joni Beard, Media Consultant.” | |
| [12:40] | 20K? What’s that? | |
| [12:42] | K means thousand. [chuckles] | |
| [12:43] | Can you believe Adhir just expected me to know that? [laughs] | |
| [12:47] | I must’ve told him K times, “You gotta help me with these things.” | |
| [12:51] | I used to train dogs, so I’m very patient. | |
| [12:53] | And $10,000 for a printer? | |
| [12:56] | – 10K. – Good Gob. Good K. | |
| [12:59] | Yeah. | |
| [13:01] | And to be fair, it’s a… It was a 3-D printer. | |
| [13:04] | Why do we need a 3-D printer? | |
| [13:05] | Well, to be fair, it’s a 3-D dental printer. | |
| [13:07] | But they’re worth twice what I got them to leave them here for. | |
| [13:10] | They must’ve been too slow for them, but I thought, what do we care | |
| [13:13] | if it takes two and a half hours to print some molars? | |
| [13:15] | Can you just get me a copy of the receipt? | |
| [13:17] | Hey, you want to spend a couple hundred bucks on a 3-D receipt, | |
| [13:19] | I’ll have it printed and in your mouth before sunset. | |
| [13:21] | These are your purchases. | |
| [13:22] | – Where are you getting your capital? – [Gob] Capital money. | |
| [13:26] | [quietly] Thank you. | |
| [13:27] | [Adhir] I have all the books here. Coming through. | |
| [13:30] | Including the ones Gob can’t look at. | |
| [13:32] | Do you want the Austero-Bluth or just the Bluth books? | |
| [13:35] | Well, I can only look at the Bluth books. | |
| [13:37] | The Austero books are for British eyes only, as they say. | |
| [13:40] | – [dramatic music plays] – [woman] ♪ For British eyes only ♪ | |
| [13:44] | Okay. Uh, well, as copresident, | |
| [13:46] | – I can look at the books that he can’t. – [Adhir] All right. | |
| [13:48] | I’m sorry I don’t understand what… No, I ju… | |
| [13:50] | Michael, if, look, I’m the copresident, okay? | |
| [13:53] | There’s only room at this company for one copresident. | |
| [13:56] | What’s next? You’re gonna want one of my parking spaces, Michael? | |
| [13:59] | I didn’t know that I was copresident myself. | |
| [14:02] | All right? I’m just here to help. I’m not going to trump you. | |
| [14:05] | Oh, well, Michael, don’t worry, ’cause I already went there. | |
| [14:08] | ♪ Balls in the air… ♪ | |
| [14:09] | [Gob] Saturday and Sunday semester. | |
| [14:11] | Best 17K Mom and Dad ever spent. | |
| [14:13] | Anyway, I don’t know why I’m not allowed to look at the Austero books, but, uh, | |
| [14:17] | Mom does allow me to make purchases from that account. | |
| [14:22] | Let me get this straight. | |
| [14:22] | You’re only allowed to spend money from the Austero account. | |
| [14:25] | Why are all the revenue | |
| [14:26] | from these investments only showing up in the Bluth books? | |
| [14:29] | Would you be terribly offended if I offered you a candy? | |
| [14:31] | – I don’t think Dad wanted me to see this. – I don’t, either. | |
| [14:34] | And your mother has my passport, so why don’t we say that I was never here? | |
| [14:37] | An absolute professional pleasure to have met you. | |
| [14:39] | You know, I think that they had a plan | |
| [14:42] | that they were sure would work, but now they need to get out, | |
| [14:44] | and that’s why he wants an evaluation of all the assets. | |
| [14:48] | – Good to see you. – [Adhir] You’re doing great. | |
| [14:49] | Yeah, he wants to find out what he can sell off. | |
| [14:51] | And you know, since you’re copresident, your name’s all over this. | |
| [14:54] | That means that whatever trouble Dad is responsible for, | |
| [14:57] | you are also responsible for. | |
| [14:59] | So you’re telling me that Dad thinks I’m responsible. | |
| [15:05] | Maybe it’s time to show them you are responsible. | |
| [15:06] | [Gob] Yeah. | |
| [15:07] | That you’re not looking for some reward for doing the right thing. | |
| [15:11] | – Or any reward. – [Adhir over intercom] Good Gob. | |
| [15:15] | Oh, thanks, buddy. | |
| [15:16] | They think I’m too stupid to… | |
| [15:20] | Help yourself. | |
| [15:23] | Yeah. You know what’s funny? | |
| [15:25] | They think that I’m too stup… | |
| [15:27] | [choking] | |
| [15:29] | – I already had one in there, so… – We got to face facts. | |
| [15:32] | They’re stuck. These stick. They’re stickers… | |
| [15:33] | Knowing what we know, we are complicit, | |
| [15:36] | – which leaves us open to… to liability. – [whirs] | |
| [15:38] | You know, the easy choice would be to quit. | |
| [15:41] | – [Gob] There it is. – We’ve got an opportunity | |
| [15:43] | to save the company. That would not be easy. | |
| [15:46] | That… that would take sacrifice. | |
| [15:48] | Maybe even burning the… | |
| [15:50] | well, midweek oil. | |
| [15:53] | I quit. | |
| [15:55] | I shouldn’t have called it the easy choice. | |
| [15:58] | [Ron] And Oscar and Buster found their way to the hospital, having improved | |
| [16:02] | upon their left-right walking system. | |
| [16:05] | [Oscar and Buster] Outside, inside, outside, inside… | |
| [16:07] | Now, we cannot draw attention to ourselves. | |
| [16:10] | – I’m just a guy fixing a broken hand. – [Oscar] Right. | |
| [16:12] | And I’m… I’m just a guy who’s wearing a blue hat. | |
| [16:16] | Nothing to see here, folks. | |
| [16:17] | Nothing to see. [whimpers] | |
| [16:20] | – [Oscar] Hey! – [Buster groans] | |
| [16:21] | [Ron] But soon, they found the prosthetics lab. | |
| [16:23] | Oh, I’m like a kid in a candy shop. | |
| [16:27] | No way. | |
| [16:29] | I think I saw William Shatner wearing this | |
| [16:31] | – while riding a bicycle once. – Yeah. | |
| [16:33] | Why don’t you try this one? This one. | |
| [16:37] | – This one? – Yeah. | |
| [16:38] | – I think this is used for teaching. – Doesn’t matter. Who cares? | |
| [16:40] | [Buster] It sort of reminds me of Mother’s hand, | |
| [16:42] | except it’s less veiny, and warmer. | |
| [16:45] | All right. All right, you ready? | |
| [16:47] | [Ron] Meanwhile, Gob was preparing to walk out of a job | |
| [16:50] | he’d put over eight hours of his life into. | |
| [16:53] | [Gob] This is just as tough for you as it is for me. | |
| [16:56] | Tougher, maybe. | |
| [16:57] | Man without a king. [chuckles] | |
| [17:01] | Oh, God. | |
| [17:04] | I’m gonna miss this view. | |
| [17:06] | Rite Aid roof as far as you can see. | |
| [17:08] | [Adhir] Okay, yes, well, anyway, why don’t we go over some expenses? | |
| [17:11] | Yes, yes, thank you for reminding me. I, um… | |
| [17:14] | [clears throat] …I told some paid protesters | |
| [17:16] | that we use that, um, they could bill us. | |
| [17:20] | You know, it’s for my nephew. Um… | |
| [17:22] | They’re gonna be buying some masks as well, so… | |
| [17:24] | They’re Guy Fawkeses. | |
| [17:25] | So those are personal expenses. | |
| [17:27] | No, I just told you, they’re for my nephew. D… | |
| [17:30] | Got it. I’ll let Michael know they’re non-business related. | |
| [17:33] | [Gob] Don’t worry about Michael. | |
| [17:34] | He should’ve thought of that before he fired me. | |
| [17:36] | Probably for being gay, too. | |
| [17:38] | You do know that Michael didn’t fire you, you quit. | |
| [17:41] | As any proud gay man would do in the face of such bigotry. | |
| [17:46] | But I guess I don’t need to tell that to a little Indian guy, huh? | |
| [17:49] | Michael’s not your friend either. | |
| [17:51] | You should’ve seen the look on his face | |
| [17:52] | when I do my impression of you. You know… | |
| [17:54] | [Indian accent] What’s the problem with Apu? | |
| [17:56] | Just one more thing before I have security drag you out. | |
| [17:58] | Why are you claiming that | |
| [18:00] | the closet conversion company was a religious write-off? | |
| [18:02] | Because I went there to become straight. | |
| [18:04] | I thought it was one of those Christian places | |
| [18:06] | that converts gay men and is, uh… | |
| [18:08] | Now the sole province | |
| [18:09] | of extreme fundamentalist Christian derangement. | |
| [18:12] | Oh, you’re just mad ’cause you can’t have a hamburger. | |
| [18:15] | But, yes. | |
| [18:17] | Those places don’t work. There’s no such thing as a program | |
| [18:20] | that can change someone. It’s a way for hypocrites | |
| [18:22] | to try to convince the world | |
| [18:23] | – that they’re now straight. – [Gob] Without using magic. | |
| [18:26] | So I just tell the world that I’m gay, and that I’m going to one of those? | |
| [18:29] | And then I come out straight. | |
| [18:31] | Mm, well, if you really do identify as a gay man, | |
| [18:34] | I would say going to a place like that will only make you miserable. | |
| [18:37] | So, shall I arrange an Uber for you? | |
| [18:44] | I didn’t understand a word you just said, little guy. | |
| [18:47] | [Ron] But George Michael, meanwhile, | |
| [18:49] | was worried that his uncle had failed to set up the protesters. | |
| [18:51] | You know Betty White has this same car? | |
| [18:54] | – You know Betty White? – We share a weed dealer. | |
| [18:57] | [George Michael, distorted over phone] We are Anonymous. | |
| [18:59] | Oh, shoot, not again. | |
| [19:00] | My tech guys think that I’ve been hacked by Anonymous. | |
| [19:04] | I don’t mean the alkies, I mean the, uh, | |
| [19:06] | the guys who wear the creepy masks, hang out online. | |
| [19:09] | The Guy Fawkeses. | |
| [19:10] | Really? That sounded like you. | |
| [19:13] | Think so? God, they can even do that now. | |
| [19:16] | Well, all the more reason to not get you mixed up in all this. | |
| [19:18] | You know, online hacking I can deal with, it’s just the day that they show up | |
| [19:22] | in person that I’m dreading. | |
| [19:23] | But you can’t live in fear, so… let’s go. | |
| [19:26] | Whatever happens, happens. | |
| [19:28] | [Ron] But two other Bluths were living in fear, | |
| [19:31] | and perhaps that’s why | |
| [19:32] | they soon found themselves entangled | |
| [19:34] | – with an old friend… – [Stan yelps] | |
| [19:36] | [Buster] Oh, that hurt. | |
| [19:38] | [Ron] …whom they soon recognized. | |
| [19:40] | I’m sorry, sir. Are you… Stan Sitwell? | |
| [19:43] | [Ron] Who was immediately fearful. | |
| [19:45] | Oh, my God, George Bluth. | |
| [19:46] | – [whispering] Shh. I’m not George Bluth. – [whispers] Act like we’re strangers. | |
| [19:48] | – Yeah. – Please don’t hurt me. | |
| [19:50] | I don’t want any trouble. I’m getting out of here today. | |
| [19:52] | Oh, I know how you feel. I broke out of prison today. | |
| [19:55] | [Oscar] Hey, uh, Stan? | |
| [19:56] | Could we stay at your place? | |
| [19:58] | You’re taking me as a hostage in case the cops see us? | |
| [20:01] | Hey, guy, I wouldn’t know about that. | |
| [20:03] | – We can pretend we’re cousins. – Cousins? | |
| [20:04] | – [laughing] – [Oscar] Yes. | |
| [20:05] | Yeah, Cousin Stan, let’s walk, okay? | |
| [20:08] | Inside, outside, | |
| [20:09] | inside, outside… | |
| [20:11] | Right behind you, cousin-father. | |
| [20:13] | – [grunts, moans] – [Oscar and Stan laughing] | |
| [20:17] | [Ron] And George Michael arrived at Fakeblock, | |
| [20:19] | ready to act afraid of the Guy Fawkeses. | |
| [20:22] | – [man 1] When do we want it? – [man 2] Stop tracking us! | |
| [20:25] | – [man 3] Make a chain! – [George Michael] This is all on me. | |
| [20:28] | – [man 4] We’re still protesting! – [Rebel] Oh. | |
| [20:30] | You hired a bunch of foxy guys to protest me | |
| [20:33] | because I said I hated hot guys. [laughs] | |
| [20:36] | “Rebel.” “Unfair.” | |
| [20:38] | – I was reading that as rebel. – [man 5] Oh, my God, | |
| [20:40] | – it’s Rebel Alley. We love you. – [man 6] Oh. | |
| [20:43] | Yes, I went as you for Halloween last year. | |
| [20:45] | – Can we get a picture? – [man 4] Do you mind? | |
| [20:47] | Dangerous Cousins is my favorite movie. | |
| [20:48] | – Mine t… – [man 5] I will. | |
| [20:50] | I want to see everything else you’ve got inside. Come on. | |
| [20:52] | Might not be anybody in there. | |
| [20:54] | They wouldn’t have crossed the picket lines. | |
| [20:56] | Oh, well, you never know with nerds. Come on. | |
| [20:58] | [George Michael] If you want to see a big empty room, we’ll take a look, | |
| [21:00] | but uh, just… I just know my guys. | |
| [21:03] | [Ron] But George Michael was in for another surprise. | |
| [21:07] | [clears throat] Yeah. | |
| [21:09] | [Rebel] Oh, my goodness. Fakeblock is so impressive. | |
| [21:13] | – Yeah. – I mean, Fakeblock’s incredible. | |
| [21:15] | – Fakeblock is… – Yeah, Fakeblock is real. | |
| [21:18] | [Rebel chuckles] | |
| [21:20] | It’s my place. | |
| [21:23] | [Ron] And back at the cottage, Lucille was in | |
| [21:25] | for a surprise as well. | |
| [21:29] | Lucille, my lady, my love. | |
| [21:33] | Do you remember our first date, | |
| [21:34] | at that little Italian restaurant? | |
| [21:37] | Do you remember what I said to you? | |
| [21:39] | “How did I ever find you?” | |
| [21:41] | ♪ How did I ever find you? ♪ | |
| [21:48] | You took me for Chinese. The Italian place was the first time | |
| [21:52] | I caught you with your secretary, and you asked, | |
| [21:55] | “How did you ever find me?” | |
| [21:57] | ♪ How did you ever find me? ♪ | |
| [22:01] | That’s it. All right. Get out. | |
| [22:04] | Go back to the Macaroni Grill. | |
| [22:06] | I, uh, also brought you some leftovers. | |
| [22:09] | I’m busy, George. What do you want? | |
| [22:15] | I want you, Lucille. | |
| [22:17] | In what way, George? | |
| [22:19] | Sexually? | |
| [22:20] | Yes. | |
| [22:21] | Sexual-ish-ly. | |
| [22:24] | Look, here’s the deal. [chuckles] | |
| [22:27] | – I can’t… get hard. I… – Live without me. | |
| [22:30] | It’s really getting hard, uh, to live without you. | |
| [22:34] | We really need each other right now, because Buster | |
| [22:37] | is on the lam. His first prison break. | |
| [22:39] | I remember when he just started talking. | |
| [22:41] | He better not have started talking. | |
| [22:43] | No, I meant originally. Like, when he was three. | |
| [22:46] | – Five. | – Five. |
| [22:48] | He didn’t say a word until we fired the wet nurse. | |
| [22:50] | He didn’t stop talking about that for three years. | |
| [22:52] | – Until we caved. – You see, this is the stuff. | |
| [22:57] | That makes life worth living? | |
| [22:58] | I was actually gonna say that we should keep from the DA, | |
| [23:01] | but can you tell me why life is worth living again? | |
| [23:05] | See, that’s just it. | |
| [23:06] | – I’m trying to have some kind of a life. – Mm. | |
| [23:10] | With Dustin Radler, the beach rat. | |
| [23:13] | What’s the deal? You in love with this guy? | |
| [23:14] | – We’re having fun, George. – [chuckles] | |
| [23:16] | Because he’s fun. | |
| [23:18] | He loves music, he plays me songs on the guitar. | |
| [23:21] | You know, hey, | |
| [23:22] | I just brought the assistant manager | |
| [23:25] | of the Macaroni Grill over here during his lunch shift. | |
| [23:28] | It set me back a sawbuck. | |
| [23:30] | It’s a third of what you are giving me to live off these days. | |
| [23:34] | Yeah, that’s another thing Dusty doesn’t complain about, | |
| [23:37] | his allowance. | |
| [23:38] | You give him an allowance? | |
| [23:40] | He doesn’t get one. He’s very wealthy. | |
| [23:43] | He made a lot of money in his law career. | |
| [23:45] | And he’s fun. He surfs. | |
| [23:47] | – He does things. He’s alive, George. – [laughs] | |
| [23:52] | I’m alive. | |
| [23:53] | Only because Michael drives an electric car. | |
| [23:56] | Trust me, the whole “trying to kill yourself” thing, turn off. | |
| [24:00] | I think I need to show you | |
| [24:02] | that I am a fun guy who likes to laugh | |
| [24:06] | and is open to not killing himself. | |
| [24:10] | I don’t call it that, I call it “a cry for help,” | |
| [24:12] | but I think help has just arrived and it’s saying, | |
| [24:14] | – “Cry for fun!” – Don’t cry at all. | |
| [24:18] | Don’t cry. Don’t die. | |
| [24:20] | And have some fun. | |
| [24:23] | [laughing] Wow, thank you. | |
| [24:25] | Okay, I’m gonna… I’m gonna go to the beach now. | |
| [24:27] | I’m gonna have a ball! | |
| [24:32] | I don’t know what’s going on, but I feel like a 55-year-old. | |
| [24:35] | Well, so do I. | |
| [24:37] | And he’s showing up to take me out for dinner later, | |
| [24:39] | so I need to get ready. | |
| [24:42] | Okay. Well… don’t cry. | |
| [24:46] | Don’t die. And have some fun. | |
| [24:50] | Hurt people, hurt people. | |
| [24:55] | [Ron] On the next Arrested Development… | |
| [24:58] | George Sr., hoping his wife is watching, | |
| [25:01] | – goes to the beach to have fun. – Hello. I would like an hour | |
| [25:04] | on the funnest thing you have. | |
| [25:06] | We got a tandem bike. | |
| [25:08] | Unless you’re alone, then it’s the saddest thing. | |
| [25:11] | Uh, second-funnest thing you have. | |
| [25:14] | We got the ball. | |
| [25:16] | [Ron] And soon, finds himself having a ball. | |
| [25:19] | Don’t cry, don’t die. | Don’t cry, don’t die. |
| [25:21] | Help me. | |
| [25:23] | Don’t die! | |
| [25:25] | [cries] Don’t cry, don’t die. | |
| [25:27] | [man] It sounds like he said, “Don’t help me.” | |
| [25:29] | – I heard, “Help me die.” – [George Sr.] Excuse me! | |
| [25:31] | Either way, it looks like he’s having fun. | |
| [25:33] | – [George Sr.] I’m gonna die. – [woman] No maritime law against that. | |
| [25:36] | [gasps] Dolphins! | |
| [25:37] | Oh! Hey, we got dolphins. Let’s hit it. Yes! | |
| [25:40] | [George Sr.] Die! Was that a boat? | |
| [25:43] | [Ron] And Gob goes on a religious program… | |
| [25:46] | Anyway, that’s why I came here. I’m ready to convert. | |
| [25:48] | [Ron] …to be religiously deprogrammed. | |
| [25:50] | – [man] Oh. – Our church runs a program | |
| [25:52] | that sees confused men | |
| [25:54] | – through a very difficult time. – [Gob] Perfect. | |
| [25:57] | – [audience applauds] – Sign me up for that. | |
| [26:00] | This isn’t one of those places where, like, | |
| [26:02] | they get you to quit smoking by making you smoke | |
| [26:04] | tons of cigarettes until you’re like, “Oh, no, | |
| [26:06] | no more, no more…” You know what I mean? | |
| [26:08] | – I don’t want you to think I’m a whore. – No. | |
| [26:11] | No one would suggest that. Um, | |
| [26:14] | – shall we get on our knees? – Oh, are we starting? | |
| [26:19] | [theme music playing] |