| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:12] | NARRATOR: Gob had been preparing for a parade illusion… | |
| [00:14] | -Here it is. -…to allow him to reunite | |
| [00:16] | with Tony Wonder. | |
| [00:18] | Christian magician goes into one closet, | |
| [00:20] | gay magician into the other, they spin around, | |
| [00:23] | then you come out of the opposite closets, okay? | |
| [00:25] | Except now, he’s straight and you’re gay. | |
| [00:30] | You could go back and forth the whole parade. | |
| [00:34] | (sighs) | |
| [00:35] | -I love it. -Yeah. (chuckles) | |
| [00:37] | But the big question is: will Tony? I mean, sometimes, | |
| [00:42] | I’m really into something, and he hates me. | |
| [00:44] | Well, there’s only one way to know. | |
| [00:49] | NARRATOR: And so Gob called a man | |
| [00:51] | he had tried to forget by purchasing | |
| [00:53] | a closet conversion store in the first place. | |
| [00:55] | It’s hard to explain. | |
| [00:56] | Yeah. Okay. | |
| [00:59] | Okay. | |
| [01:01] | Okay. Sure. | |
| [01:07] | -He’s in. -ALL: Yeah! | |
| [01:10] | And breathe a word about this to anybody and you’re fired. | |
| [01:16] | NARRATOR: Now the story of a wealthy family | |
| [01:18] | who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice | |
| [01:21] | but to keep them all together. | |
| [01:23] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [01:29] | It’s… | |
| [01:34] | NARRATOR: Lucille was visiting Buster | |
| [01:37] | for the first time since his incarceration. | |
| [01:43] | GUARD: Five minutes. | |
| [01:51] | Well, I’m not going to be the one who apologizes, | |
| [01:54] | if that’s what you’re waiting for. | |
| [01:56] | -Well, I’m sorry, but… -Apology accepted. | |
| [01:59] | Uh… | |
| [02:00] | No, you said it. | |
| [02:01] | You said “I’m sorry.” | |
| [02:02] | You said the words. | |
| [02:04] | Did I exaggerate about her? | |
| [02:07] | She really is just like the mother in Two and a Half Men. | |
| [02:10] | No, you did not. | |
| [02:11] | Start watching that show? Yes, I did, Mother. | |
| [02:13] | And you lied to me. | |
| [02:15] | There’s no scary half-man that I couldn’t handle. | |
| [02:18] | I don’t approve of that show. | |
| [02:20] | Well, there’s a lot of stuff I’ve done | |
| [02:22] | in this prison that you might not approve of. | |
| [02:23] | I touched a mouse. | |
| [02:25] | I read an illustrated Qur’an for kids, and at recess once, | |
| [02:30] | I sat in “Blacks only.” | |
| [02:31] | Yard. | |
| [02:33] | Oh, I keep doing that. | |
| [02:34] | But maybe what you really don’t approve of is… me. | |
| [02:39] | If you must know the truth, I’m not thrilled with you. | |
| [02:42] | -Okay. -The last time I saw you, | |
| [02:44] | you told me you didn’t need me anymore. | |
| [02:47] | BUSTER: Okay– So I’m to believe | |
| [02:49] | that’s what you’re upset about? (laughs) | |
| [02:52] | Not that you think I’m a murderer? | |
| [02:53] | Or that I touched a mouse? | |
| [02:55] | I happen to know for a fact | |
| [02:57] | -you’re not a murderer. -What? | |
| [02:59] | Lucille 2’s fine, | |
| [03:01] | but she can’t come back right now. | |
| [03:04] | You know where she is? | |
| [03:05] | -I know who she’s with, -(Buster gasps) | |
| [03:07] | and that’s all I can say. | |
| [03:09] | Why don’t you say it to someone to get me out of here? | |
| [03:12] | I can’t do that right now. | |
| [03:14] | You’ll just have to sit tight and trust me | |
| [03:15] | for a little while longer. | |
| [03:17] | (chuckles) So it’s like that again. | |
| [03:19] | History repeats. | |
| [03:20] | You remember that? | |
| [03:23] | I remember you paying me off | |
| [03:24] | by letting me go to the Fourth of July parade, | |
| [03:27] | but I’m a man now. | |
| [03:29] | Paying me off isn’t gonna be that easy. | |
| [03:32] | You’ll need the warden’s permission, and then | |
| [03:34] | you’ll have to sponsor me for my furlough, and they probably | |
| [03:37] | won’t let me on the float again, but that’s just… | |
| [03:39] | Oh, God, it’s still the parade, isn’t it? | |
| [03:41] | We’re still talking about… | |
| [03:42] | Oh, we’re talking about it! | |
| [03:44] | Buster, please. | |
| [03:45] | The parade’s in two days. | |
| [03:47] | The whole city will be there. | |
| [03:49] | The last thing this family needs right now | |
| [03:51] | is a Bluth in a chain gang, picking up trash. | |
| [03:55] | Well, it’s either that, or I’m gonna start spewing it. | |
| [03:58] | And your job’s not gonna be easy since, | |
| [04:00] | of course, I got dinged because I screamed, “Turn it off!” | |
| [04:03] | after they showed the half-man. | |
| [04:05] | It’s like they need another reason to call me… | |
| [04:07] | -Half-man? -…Jon Cryer. | |
| [04:08] | Oh. | |
| [04:10] | NARRATOR: Soon, George Michael sought out Maeby | |
| [04:12] | where she was living | |
| [04:13] | -as the sexagenarian Annette… -MAEBY: One minute! | |
| [04:15] | -It’s me. It’s me. -Oh, where are my glasses? | |
| [04:17] | Oh, they’re right on top of my head, for God’s sake. | |
| [04:19] | It’s me. It’s me. | |
| [04:21] | -Hey. -In. Come in. | |
| [04:23] | NARRATOR: …who wasn’t feeling very sexagenaric. | |
| [04:25] | So, you’re not gonna believe this… | |
| [04:27] | What are you doing? | |
| [04:28] | I’m doing another scrub and run. | |
| [04:30] | My sex date is tonight, | |
| [04:31] | and there’s no other way out of it. | |
| [04:33] | And honestly, if I wanted a hairless lover, | |
| [04:35] | I’d probably go underage rather than overage, you know? | |
| [04:37] | -What’s that? -No, I mean, not that I would do it on purpose. | |
| [04:39] | I’m just saying if I had a gun to somebody’s head. | |
| [04:41] | -If you had a… -What do you want me to do? | |
| [04:43] | You want me to shoot a kid? What kind of monster are you? | |
| [04:46] | I’m not sure how I became the monster there, | |
| [04:48] | but what happened to your plan to make Annette forgetful? | |
| [04:50] | Like, she can’t keep track of things, to get out of the date? | |
| [04:53] | Well, it ended up having the opposite effect. | |
| [04:55] | NARRATOR: Because when Maeby showed up late, | |
| [04:58] | she saw something troubling. | |
| [05:03] | Oh, what a relief. | |
| [05:05] | I thought you disappeared on me. | |
| [05:07] | -(chuckles) -(Maeby chuckles weakly) | |
| [05:09] | Mwah. Thank God. | |
| [05:11] | Before I could even act confused, | |
| [05:13] | he had already called the cops. | |
| [05:14] | NARRATOR: Well, not exactly. | |
| [05:15] | -They weren’t cops. -This is wonderful. | |
| [05:17] | I’ve always wanted to be a Keystone Cop. | |
| [05:19] | It would be my honor to wear this handlebar mustache | |
| [05:21] | -in the 2nd of July parade. -LOU: That’s right. | |
| [05:24] | It’s your first parade not playing the jailbird. | |
| [05:25] | So you should know, | |
| [05:26] | those can be tricky to stick on. | |
| [05:28] | Hey. I think I know what I’m doing. | |
| [05:30] | Kind of what I’m doing. | |
| [05:32] | MAEBY: And these were, like, senior guys, you know? | |
| [05:34] | Long coats. He’s not gonna let her go, | |
| [05:38] | which means I have to. | |
| [05:39] | Good-bye, Annette. | |
| [05:42] | Good-bye to our teeth that make it look like I’m smiling | |
| [05:45] | so I don’t have to. | |
| [05:47] | And you, I’ll miss you most of all, | |
| [05:49] | neighbor’s pain medication. | |
| [05:52] | (voice breaking): I never even got the chance… | |
| [05:55] | Nah, I’ll just take you with me. | |
| [05:58] | So, now that you found out your dad’s sneaking around | |
| [06:00] | with your girlfriend, looks like you need a roommate, too, huh? | |
| [06:03] | No, that’s what I came to talk to you about. | |
| [06:05] | He wasn’t going to see Rebel in Mexico. | |
| [06:07] | The whole thing was just a crazy, paranoid idea. | |
| [06:09] | Who knows where we get these ideas from, right? | |
| [06:11] | Well, you. I got that from you. It’s always from you. | |
| [06:14] | Oh, yeah, I was gonna say that sounded like one of mine. | |
| [06:16] | Yeah, so I was going down there to catch my father in this lie, | |
| [06:18] | and it turns out that I was the one caught in a lie, | |
| [06:20] | because there’s a picture of the stair car in Mexico. | |
| [06:23] | NARRATOR: Something George Michael discovered | |
| [06:25] | while trying to be honest with his father, | |
| [06:27] | on the way to purchasing 12 new tires. | |
| [06:29] | So, George Michael, | |
| [06:30] | -why did you follow me down here? -The truth? | |
| [06:32] | I-I thought you were coming down here to meet Rebel. | |
| [06:35] | Come on, I’m so over Rebel. | |
| [06:37] | GEORGE MICHAEL: You were lying about so many other things, | |
| [06:39] | Pea Soup Andersen’s and being at the barbecue… | |
| [06:41] | MICHAEL: No, no, you’re right. | |
| [06:42] | How about, starting right now, no more lies. | |
| [06:44] | BARRY: That doesn’t include me, though, does it? | |
| [06:47] | MICHAEL: No, no, no. You’d be out of business, and by the way, | |
| [06:49] | Barry, you had the best lie of all, | |
| [06:50] | saying that they had a picture | |
| [06:52] | of-of Lucille 2 and Oscar in the stair car. | |
| [06:55] | That is not a lie. You said, “Keep it as real as possible.” | |
| [07:00] | Prismo, texting mode. | |
| [07:02] | AUTOMATED VOICE: Self-drive on. | |
| [07:04] | MICHAEL: This was real? If they’ve got this, | |
| [07:06] | there’s no reason for them to hold Buster and they know it. | |
| [07:08] | -Did you know about this, Dad? -GEORGE SR.: Are you kidding? | |
| [07:10] | Thanks to your mother, I can’t even feel | |
| [07:12] | -your son on my lap. -Can I see that, Dad? | |
| [07:16] | MAEBY: Ugh, so Lucille 2 is alive? Great. | |
| [07:18] | Another reason I got to get the hell out of here. | |
| [07:20] | No, it wasn’t her, it was us. | |
| [07:22] | From when we went to Mexico with Steve Holt. | |
| [07:24] | Don’t you remember how we got there? | |
| [07:26] | NARRATOR: It was just after Cinco | |
| [07:28] | when Maeby suggested fleeing the country. | |
| [07:29] | Screw it. No rules, anything goes. | |
| [07:31] | -Just the cousins. -Hey, why don’t we take that? | |
| [07:36] | STEVE: Primos! (laughs) | |
| [07:39] | So anyway, now my dad and everyone else | |
| [07:40] | thinks that they have proof that’s gonna exonerate Buster | |
| [07:42] | that I know isn’t true. | |
| [07:43] | And I’m not sure whether I should… | |
| [07:45] | Lie to him. | |
| [07:46] | What do you think? | |
| [07:49] | Oh, okay. You just told me. Really? | |
| [07:51] | Even though we just left | |
| [07:53] | the stair car there when it broke down? | |
| [07:54] | I mean, what if they find it? | |
| [07:55] | I’m sure somebody got it working and it’s long gone. | |
| [07:57] | And it’s not like you’re actually lying to your dad. | |
| [08:01] | You’re just letting him believe something that isn’t true. | |
| [08:03] | You know? Like how people think the world’s melting | |
| [08:06] | because people drive cars, | |
| [08:08] | or that Hillary should continue to roam free. | |
| [08:10] | NARRATOR: And Maeby realized | |
| [08:12] | she had something else to say good-bye to. | |
| [08:14] | Good-bye, Fox & Friends. | |
| [08:19] | NARRATOR: Meanwhile, Lucille was growing concerned | |
| [08:21] | that her daughter Lindsay | |
| [08:22] | wouldn’t be back in time for the parade. | |
| [08:24] | REPORTER: Sally, Sally, where are you headed? | |
| [08:25] | I think the more important question here is: | |
| [08:28] | where is my opponent, Lindsay Bluth? | |
| [08:30] | Maybe she’s hiding behind this wall she wants to build. | |
| [08:33] | If she does indeed show up at the parade, | |
| [08:35] | I will be very surprised, though I may not look it. | |
| [08:40] | -No further questions. -(knocking on door) | |
| [08:41] | -Hey, hey. -(sighs) | |
| [08:43] | Oh, George, I’ve been worried sick. | |
| [08:46] | About Buster being stuck in-in that jail. | |
| [08:50] | They are making him a patsy, parading him around, | |
| [08:54] | frightening the masses before the Fourth of July. | |
| [08:56] | It’s on the second this year. | |
| [08:58] | And being in the parade was his idea, like it was in 1982. | |
| [09:03] | We’re trying to get Lindsay elected, | |
| [09:05] | and Buster wants everyone in the world | |
| [09:06] | to see him in an orange jumpsuit. | |
| [09:09] | -So he’ll be out in public? -I don’t want to tell you | |
| [09:12] | what I had to give the warden to make that happen. | |
| [09:15] | I don’t want to hear it. | |
| [09:16] | Meanwhile, we still don’t have a Lindsay, | |
| [09:18] | and Sally is calling us out about it. | |
| [09:20] | We’ve got this elaborate float to help distract from the fact | |
| [09:23] | that there’s no stair car this year, | |
| [09:24] | -and nobody to put on it. -(phone buzzing) | |
| [09:26] | -Ugh, God. -Fortunately, Tobias was finally calling. | |
| [09:29] | Oh, thank God, it’s Tobias. | |
| [09:32] | You better have found my daughter. | |
| [09:34] | Sally is now in the race, and she’s pointing out | |
| [09:36] | that no one has seen Lindsay in a week. | |
| [09:38] | Yes. I didn’t want to get your hopes up, | |
| [09:40] | but I’m in Mexico and I have found Lindsay… | |
| [09:42] | -Oh, thank God. -…to be very stubborn. | |
| [09:44] | Oh, damn it, | |
| [09:46] | I just did exactly what I said I wouldn’t do. | |
| [09:48] | Anyway, I’m at Ma Bark’s, | |
| [09:49] | and she tells me Lindsay should be back this afternoon, | |
| [09:52] | before I’m out of my postal plumage. Of course, | |
| [09:55] | when she does come back, | |
| [09:56] | I’ll still need to get her into the car. | |
| [09:58] | Well, say whatever you need to. | |
| [09:59] | Yes. I was thinking I would just say, | |
| [10:01] | “Your mother is so sorry she upset you.” | |
| [10:03] | Out of the question. | |
| [10:05] | (sighs) Yes. It felt a little out of character. | |
| [10:08] | How about I just make it about me? | |
| [10:10] | “It’s incredibly important to me and my life…” | |
| [10:12] | Where is this going? | |
| [10:15] | “…and if you do this for me, | |
| [10:16] | “I’m sure Lucille will make me permanent member | |
| [10:18] | of the Bluth family.” | |
| [10:19] | That way, you’re not lying to Lindsay… | |
| [10:21] | You are. Well, that sounds like the best | |
| [10:25] | of our diplomatic options, | |
| [10:28] | but you’re in Mexico, for God’s sake. | |
| [10:30] | Please tell me you prepared a few “against her wills.” | |
| [10:33] | (chuckles) Oh, my gosh. I do miss that wit, Mother. | |
| [10:36] | It’s Mrs. Bluth. I wasn’t joking. | |
| [10:39] | And you’re right, we need her standing, | |
| [10:41] | and dressed and ready for the parade. | |
| [10:44] | On it. In the meantime, wow, what a trip! (laughs) | |
| [10:47] | Murphybrown saw an armadillo, | |
| [10:49] | men held us up at gunpoint, and I got to dress up | |
| [10:51] | -as an os… -(sighs) | |
| [10:53] | NARRATOR: It would be five minutes before he would realize | |
| [10:55] | she was no longer on the phone. | |
| [10:57] | And, as Tobias awaited bringing Lindsay home, | |
| [11:00] | Maeby was reluctantly leaving hers. | |
| [11:03] | You’re Annette’s granddaughter, aren’t you? | |
| [11:05] | Yeah, I am. (chuckles) | |
| [11:07] | I’m getting out of here. | |
| [11:09] | Saying good-bye to her. | |
| [11:10] | Well, she’s in good hands. | |
| [11:12] | Stan would do anything for your grandmother. | |
| [11:15] | If that woman told him to jump off a bridge, he would. | |
| [11:18] | He would, wouldn’t he? | |
| [11:21] | NARRATOR: And she found herself feeling reflective. | |
| [11:24] | (indistinct conversations) | |
| [11:31] | Nah, I love this place. | |
| [11:33] | I’ll just tell him it’s over, and kick him out. | |
| [11:37] | NARRATOR: It was the 2nd of July, | |
| [11:39] | and the Funkes had just finished | |
| [11:41] | working off their water and phone debt. | |
| [11:44] | I guess you earned your shower. | |
| [11:46] | Ugh. This thing does not breathe. | |
| [11:48] | I’ll tell you who doesn’t bitch like that, your son. | |
| [11:51] | I’ll give you 500 bucks cash | |
| [11:53] | for this youngin’ right now. | |
| [11:55] | NARRATOR: And maybe that’s when Tobias learned | |
| [11:58] | what it meant to be a father. | |
| [12:00] | (indistinct mumbling) | |
| [12:12] | (continues mumbling) | |
| [12:19] | My son is not for sale. | |
| [12:22] | Thanks, Dad. | |
| [12:24] | MA BARK: Then shower’s off. There’s your wife. | |
| [12:26] | Now you can both go. | |
| [12:27] | Lindsay? | |
| [12:30] | -Tobias? -DeBrie? | |
| [12:33] | No, you were right the first time. Uh… | |
| [12:37] | (whispering): I’ve been pretending to be Lindsay | |
| [12:38] | the past few months, on account of Marky’s face blind. | |
| [12:41] | But Marky’s buying it. | |
| [12:43] | You should hear him: “Oh, Lindsay, you’ve let yourself go. | |
| [12:45] | Oh, Lindsay, why’d you stop showering?” | |
| [12:48] | You’re missing some back teeth, there. | |
| [12:50] | Yeah. Just like that. | |
| [12:52] | But I don’t think I can be Lindsay anymore. | |
| [12:54] | They’re so critical. | |
| [12:56] | And… I fall apart at criticism. | |
| [12:59] | And Marky doesn’t see me for who I really am. | |
| [13:02] | I see you for who you are. | |
| [13:04] | DeBrie Bardeaux. | |
| [13:06] | A first-class Lindsay Bluth impersonator. | |
| [13:08] | Now, let’s go to Newport Beach, and you can be Lindsay there. | |
| [13:10] | -Oh, I can’t go back to Newport, -(engine starts) | |
| [13:12] | ’cause that’s where Marky’s headed right now, | |
| [13:15] | to protest the 2nd of July parade with a paint bomb. | |
| [13:21] | -(car horn honking) -You know what? | |
| [13:22] | I could go to Newport. | |
| [13:24] | -Let’s do it. -NARRATOR: And soon, preparations | |
| [13:26] | for the 2nd of July parade | |
| [13:27] | were underway. | |
| [13:29] | We’re 20 minutes from float-off. | |
| [13:31] | Ugh, but at least nobody’s noticed | |
| [13:32] | that the stair car’s not here. | |
| [13:34] | And that’s when Sally arrived in a float | |
| [13:37] | that would make sure they did notice. | |
| [13:39] | Oh, hello. | |
| [13:41] | What do you think of the new stair car? | |
| [13:42] | I had to make one, because yours disappeared. | |
| [13:44] | Sally Sitwell. | |
| [13:46] | Well, you’re no stranger to stuffing tissue places | |
| [13:48] | when you don’t have the goods. | |
| [13:50] | Well, what we don’t have is the candidate | |
| [13:52] | that would’ve been Lindsay’s opponent. | |
| [13:54] | But we made one, and put her up top. | |
| [13:56] | Although, she’s not as hollow as your candidate. | |
| [13:59] | Uh, where is she? | |
| [14:00] | Uh, she went off somewhere to pretty herself up | |
| [14:02] | for the parade. | |
| [14:03] | Aren’t you in it, too? | |
| [14:05] | Ticktock. | |
| [14:06] | The sun is nobody’s friend. | |
| [14:08] | Speaking of which, where is that friendless son of yours, | |
| [14:12] | Buster? | |
| [14:13] | Is it true he’s in prison? | |
| [14:15] | Well, yes, in the Keystone Cops skit | |
| [14:18] | in your father’s old role. | |
| [14:20] | Something Buster had only discovered | |
| [14:23] | -moments earlier. -Mr. Bluth, you’re not on cleaning detail. | |
| [14:24] | What? | |
| [14:26] | Is this because I accidentally choked Ron Howard? | |
| [14:30] | Because they already made me pay for that. | |
| [14:31] | They chopped your hand off? | |
| [14:33] | No, they just downgraded me to a manual. | |
| [14:35] | Listen, I don’t mean to namedrop, | |
| [14:38] | but Mother was supposed to have already arranged for me | |
| [14:40] | to follow the parade. | |
| [14:42] | Sorry. | |
| [14:43] | I got a note from the warden himself. | |
| [14:44] | You’re in a cage on a Keystone Cop float. | |
| [14:47] | What? | |
| [14:49] | You mean I’m in the parade? (gasps) | |
| [14:51] | Are there dressing rooms for the talent? | |
| [14:54] | Oh, well, at least Buster’s being held. | |
| [14:56] | Which is more than he had as a child. | |
| [14:58] | NARRATOR: Sally wasn’t that sweet after all. | |
| [15:01] | When this is all over, let’s get coffee. | |
| [15:05] | (inhales) | |
| [15:06] | And Tobias made sure his son was occupied | |
| [15:09] | while DeBrie prepared for her role as Lindsay. | |
| [15:11] | TOBIAS: I will leave you here | |
| [15:12] | and what could be more exciting | |
| [15:14] | than to be backstage | |
| [15:15] | ♪ At a parade? ♪ | |
| [15:19] | ♪ …ade. ♪ | |
| [15:21] | ♪ Being watching the parade. ♪ | |
| [15:25] | No. With the curb huggers? No. | |
| [15:26] | I meant, for one whose dream it is to be a clown. | |
| [15:29] | Oh, yeah, ’cause he’d be, like, | |
| [15:31] | “This is the one place where I’m not embarrassed of my dream.” | |
| [15:35] | Hey, no. Never apologize for your dream. | |
| [15:38] | No. I was-I was making fun of the guy. | |
| [15:41] | What guy? | |
| [15:42] | Whose dream– whose dream it is. | |
| [15:44] | It’s your dream. | |
| [15:46] | We just talked about dreams, | |
| [15:47] | and you said you could unicycle and juggle. | |
| [15:50] | Oh! That’s because my uncle, | |
| [15:53] | he taught me that stuff, when he used to come over | |
| [15:55] | to cheer me up on Father’s Day. | |
| [15:57] | Robbie knows how to juggle? | |
| [15:59] | Who’s Robbie? | |
| [16:01] | (laughing): Oh. Yes, of course. | |
| [16:03] | You wouldn’t know my brother. | |
| [16:05] | Are you one of our parade clowns? | |
| [16:07] | Me? No, I’m too shy. | |
| [16:09] | No– yes, yes, he… yes, he is. Yes. | |
| [16:12] | T-This is, uh, Relucto, the apprehensive clown. | |
| [16:14] | No, I’m not, where do you… | |
| [16:16] | There’s the catchphrase. | |
| [16:18] | Let’s get you into a chair. | |
| [16:19] | Well, I-I bet right now, | |
| [16:21] | there’s a very, very jealous fan out there who would-who would | |
| [16:23] | give anything to-to trade places with you and get up on that… | |
| [16:27] | No, I can’t, because I have to be her husband | |
| [16:29] | in that stupid Lindsay float. | |
| [16:31] | Come on, let’s go. Let’s go. | |
| [16:33] | Meanwhile, Gob was second-guessing his float, | |
| [16:35] | as he waited for Tony Wonder, who had yet to show up. | |
| [16:38] | -Aw, damn it! -Hey, Gob, have you seen Mom? | |
| [16:39] | No. Um, hey, how would you like to help me | |
| [16:42] | in a double-closet sexuality switch | |
| [16:44] | two-hander float illusion, | |
| [16:46] | no credit, no money? Oh, and you turn gay. | |
| [16:48] | -I’ll pass. -Yeah, that’s what I thought of you. | |
| [16:50] | Look, we’re gonna pull out of here in five minutes, | |
| [16:52] | and Tony’s not here; what if he doesn’t show? | |
| [16:53] | Gob, you’ll be fine. | |
| [16:55] | Do you remember high school commencement, | |
| [16:56] | when they asked you to represent all the kids | |
| [16:57] | that were being left back, and then you had | |
| [16:59] | to quickly find a replacement for Buster | |
| [17:00] | who was too afraid to be sawed in half? | |
| [17:02] | So you’re saying nothing’s worse | |
| [17:03] | than the sound of the dog screaming? | |
| [17:05] | No, I just meant you’re not a very good magician. | |
| [17:07] | And that’s when Gob noticed a less discerning brother, | |
| [17:11] | who also happened to be his former magician’s assistant. | |
| [17:14] | GOB: Hey. | |
| [17:15] | -Hey. -Oh. | |
| [17:18] | -Sup. Listen, I’m glad you’re here. -Sup… | |
| [17:20] | I might need you to fill in for Tony Wonder | |
| [17:22] | -in my illusion. -Mm. | |
| [17:24] | It’s gonna involve you being put into a small, | |
| [17:25] | confined space, and you come out gay. | |
| [17:27] | If that’s a swipe about me being in prison, I understand it. | |
| [17:30] | Oh, right, you’re in prison. | |
| [17:32] | What are you doing here? | |
| [17:33] | Well, Mom arranged it. | |
| [17:35] | Although, it is nice to be able to see family again, | |
| [17:37] | because, not to be rude, | |
| [17:38] | -but you didn’t visit me in… -Oh, there’s a dog. | |
| [17:40] | And Tobias and a nervous DeBrie | |
| [17:43] | approached Lucille to pitch their deception. | |
| [17:45] | Tobias, and if it isn’t… what is it again? | |
| [17:48] | -LeTrasha? -Hello, again. | |
| [17:49] | Those last few teeth aren’t going without a fight, are they? | |
| [17:53] | -Mm, thank you. -So where’s Lindsay? | |
| [17:56] | -You said you had Lindsay. -TOBIAS: Yes. | |
| [17:58] | But it turned out to be the professional actress DeBrie. | |
| [18:00] | The only acting this one’s good at is feigning interest | |
| [18:03] | in her drug dealer’s hobbies. | |
| [18:05] | You do see a lot of aquariums. But she was coming off | |
| [18:08] | a three-month run as Lindsay | |
| [18:11] | in front of a sold-out audience of one face blind man. | |
| [18:15] | The point is, if she can fool him, why not have her violate | |
| [18:19] | federal election guidelines by fooling | |
| [18:21] | the entire electorate as the next representative | |
| [18:23] | of the great 48th congressional district of Californ-i-ay? | |
| [18:27] | Upon a float where, unless she gives a perfect performance, | |
| [18:30] | she goes to jail for fraud. | |
| [18:33] | Fine. You’ve left me no choice. | |
| [18:34] | Maybe if you turn away from the bleachers | |
| [18:37] | and cover your face with your hand… | |
| [18:39] | I’m sure that’s not the first time you’ve been told that. | |
| [18:42] | Oh, God, no. | |
| [18:44] | I can’t do this. T-This is… | |
| [18:45] | -TOBIAS: No, no, no. -…why I gave this up. | |
| [18:47] | -DeBRIE: Shy. -No. No, you can. | |
| [18:48] | -You can do this. -No. | |
| [18:49] | -No, no, no. Shy. -You can’t be this critical. | |
| [18:51] | Not too shy, not shy. No– happy, good. | |
| [18:53] | (announcer speaking indistinctly) | |
| [18:55] | Good, happy, not sad. Don’t worry, Lucille. | |
| [18:57] | I’ve got this covered. | |
| [18:58] | I– no, no, no. Shy. | |
| [19:00] | -Sad, shy. Sad… -Just get her up there! | |
| [19:02] | And so, the parade finally began. | |
| [19:04] | Although, “finally” might not be the right word, | |
| [19:06] | because it was still two days before the Fourth of July, | |
| [19:10] | and one day before the big fireworks show on the 3rd. | |
| [19:14] | Welcome to the third annual 2nd of July Fourth of July parade. | |
| [19:17] | To start the festivities, please welcome | |
| [19:19] | the Milford Academy marching band, | |
| [19:21] | known throughout the state | |
| [19:23] | as California’s quietest marching band. | |
| [19:25] | Let’s all be perfectly still and see if we can hear them. | |
| [19:28] | (“You’re a Grand Old Flag” playing very faintly) | |
| [19:45] | MICHAEL: There you are. | |
| [19:47] | And Michael finally caught up | |
| [19:49] | -with his mother. -Hello, Mother. | |
| [19:50] | (gasps) Michael. | |
| [19:52] | Please tell me you’re back, no one new has been arrested | |
| [19:55] | and that your father is on the way, but first, a kiss. | |
| [19:58] | -Hmm. -There are cameras everywhere. | |
| [20:01] | Well, that… something you ought to have thought of | |
| [20:04] | with regard to Lucille 2 and Oscar in Mexico. | |
| [20:08] | LUCILLE: I can’t believe they were so stupid as to flee town | |
| [20:09] | -in the stair car. -Mm-hmm. Mom? | |
| [20:12] | Come on, you knew that Lucille 2 was with Oscar, | |
| [20:15] | and you let your son sit in prison | |
| [20:17] | instead of telling anyone. | |
| [20:18] | Knew? Michael, I can’t… | |
| [20:21] | I mean, the thought that I wouldn’t run to the D.A. | |
| [20:24] | -(crying): the moment I– -Mom. Please. | |
| [20:25] | Do you have a tissue? | |
| [20:27] | You haven’t needed a tissue since Nixon resigned. | |
| [20:30] | I think that you asked Oscar | |
| [20:31] | to take her out of town, didn’t you? | |
| [20:33] | I think that you needed her out of the country | |
| [20:34] | so that you could, what? | |
| [20:36] | -Plunder her business? -Now, listen, | |
| [20:38] | nobody was hurt, everybody’s getting what they deserve. | |
| [20:41] | Buster’s in prison. | |
| [20:42] | No, he’s in a parade. | |
| [20:44] | He’s just playing a prisoner. | |
| [20:47] | At least, that’s what it looks like to everyone here. | |
| [20:50] | Look, I did what I had to do to save this family. | |
| [20:53] | There are things you don’t understand. | |
| [20:56] | But he’ll be out soon. | |
| [20:57] | I did three years in prison because of Buster. | |
| [21:00] | -He can do a few weeks for me. -Well, guess what? | |
| [21:02] | He’s gonna be out a little bit sooner than you think, | |
| [21:04] | because I’m gonna go to Lottie Dottie, | |
| [21:06] | and I’m gonna call her on this photo. | |
| [21:07] | Michael, you stay away from that D.A. | |
| [21:09] | She’s a killer, despite what she may seem. | |
| [21:12] | So, there’s nothing you can do. | |
| [21:15] | The D.A.’s office is closed until after the 5th. | |
| [21:17] | Now, please. We’re family. | |
| [21:21] | You stay out of my life, I’ll stay out of yours. | |
| [21:24] | Hmm. | |
| [21:25] | Thank you! Thank you! | |
| [21:27] | I guess there is nothing that I can do, Mom. | |
| [21:32] | JOHN (over speaker): You know, I-I have to believe– | |
| [21:33] | I’m-I’m not sure that, uh… JONI (over speaker): | |
| [21:34] | Yes? | |
| [21:35] | I’ve just been given the signal. | |
| [21:36] | Uh, the band is finished playing. | |
| [21:38] | Ah, well, that’s terrific. | |
| [21:39] | I’m sure they were great. | |
| [21:40] | Let’s-let’s give them all a big hand. | |
| [21:41] | Oh, it might be too late for that. | |
| [21:43] | Looks like their van just pulled out. | |
| [21:45] | They will be neither seen nor heard next year. | |
| [21:49] | NARRATOR: As it turned out… | |
| [21:51] | Lottie Dottie was heavily guarded. | |
| [21:53] | And that’s when Michael, | |
| [21:55] | who had done some light unicycling in college, | |
| [21:58] | came up with a plan that just might make it | |
| [22:00] | seem like he was part of the parade. | |
| [22:02] | Hi. Excuse me? | |
| [22:03] | -Do you mind if I… if I just… -Aah! | |
| [22:05] | -Although a less complicated plan emerged. -Um… | |
| [22:07] | JONI (over speaker): Looks like the D.A. guards | |
| [22:08] | are leaving their post to tend to him. | |
| [22:09] | This is gonna be less humiliating. | |
| [22:11] | -(clown groaning) -Hi. Excuse me, Lottie! | |
| [22:13] | Mrs. Dottie, I’m Michael Bluth. | |
| [22:15] | Do you mind if I just parade with you for, uh, just a minute? | |
| [22:17] | Oh, you must be Buster’s brother. Hop in. | |
| [22:19] | I am Buster’s brother. Yes. | |
| [22:20] | Oh, so how can I help you? | |
| [22:22] | And please make sure to wave. | |
| [22:23] | Huh? Yes. Hi. | |
| [22:26] | Um, so, does the D.A.’s office make a regular practice | |
| [22:29] | of holding people under suspicion of murdering victims | |
| [22:30] | that are clearly still alive? | |
| [22:32] | -Huh? -We’re not holding him on murder charges. | |
| [22:34] | It’s a tampering case, right? | |
| [22:36] | Yeah, well, if there’s no crime, then what has he tampered with? | |
| [22:39] | Lucille Austero’s clearly alive | |
| [22:41] | after the moment that she disappeared. | |
| [22:43] | You know? That-that’s my uncle Oscar. | |
| [22:44] | My-my mother just confirmed it. | |
| [22:46] | Oh. And we couldn’t find him, either, | |
| [22:48] | so the missing victim and the alibi | |
| [22:51] | and what we thought was the scene of the crime. | |
| [22:54] | Yes. All here. All in one picture. | |
| [22:56] | Oh, my God. This is so embarrassing. | |
| [22:59] | I mean, what can I do? How can I make this right? | |
| [23:01] | Well, you gotta, you gotta release my brother from prison. | |
| [23:03] | -We did. -Hmm? | |
| [23:04] | -You did? -I mean, it has to be processed out, | |
| [23:06] | but he wanted to be in a parade. | |
| [23:08] | MICHAEL: Oh. Well, he looks to be enjoying himself. | |
| [23:09] | Okay, well, I’m glad that we talked this through, though. | |
| [23:12] | -You know? This… -(chuckles) I’m so glad to have met you. | |
| [23:14] | -Yeah? -I guess I should say I’m lucky | |
| [23:15] | I didn’t have to face you in a court of law. | |
| [23:18] | Maybe someday we will. | |
| [23:19] | Yeah, I mean, if it turns out | |
| [23:21] | that’s not really Oscar and Lucille in the picture. | |
| [23:23] | -Right. Yes. And you find a crime scene. -(chuckles) | |
| [23:26] | I-I’ve injured a clown. You don’t want to hurt a clown. | |
| [23:29] | So I’m gonna go back and I’m gonna help the clown. | |
| [23:31] | -Good-bye -Be careful. | |
| [23:32] | Oh! (chuckles) | |
| [23:34] | Next up is a double-closet sexuality switch | |
| [23:38] | two-hander float illusion, | |
| [23:40] | brought to you by our friends at Laguna Closets. | |
| [23:42] | NARRATOR: But with Tony still missing, | |
| [23:45] | Gob, hurt and alone, | |
| [23:48] | was forced to use his weakest talent: | |
| [23:50] | Hey, does anyone have a dog? I… | |
| [23:51] | …thinking on his feet. | |
| [23:53] | GOB: No? | |
| [23:54] | Oh, forget it. | |
| [23:56] | So, I guess, happy 4th. Nah, well… | |
| [23:59] | JOHN: Well, the magician seems to be | |
| [24:01] | just standing there, doing nothing. | |
| [24:03] | JONI: Ah… you get used to it. | |
| [24:04] | It appeared that Tony had missed the parade, | |
| [24:07] | but whether he did so intentionally was something | |
| [24:10] | Gob was just beginning to wonder. | |
| [24:11] | TONY: Did somebody say… | |
| [24:13] | -“wonder”? -(cheering, applause) | |
| [24:15] | Tony? | |
| [24:17] | You sinner. | |
| [24:19] | He’s Gob, the Christian magician. | |
| [24:22] | And he’s Tony Wonder, the hot gay one. | |
| [24:26] | And as a Christian magician, | |
| [24:29] | I know that gay people can change. | |
| [24:33] | And as the hot gay one, I know we can’t, “girlfriend.” | |
| [24:37] | -(laughter) -GIRL: I love you, Tony! | |
| [24:38] | Except, in the world of… | |
| [24:42] | -magic. -Magic. | |
| [24:43] | (“The Final Countdown” playing) | |
| [24:45] | And so, the two men began their double-closet sexuality switch | |
| [24:50] | two-hander float illusion, surrounded by paid protestors | |
| [24:53] | meant to depict both sides of a culture war | |
| [24:55] | that kind of ended a few years ago, didn’t it? | |
| [24:59] | -♪ ♪ -GOB: Tony… | |
| [25:00] | Here we go. | |
| [25:02] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [25:04] | JOHN: Well, it looks like the straight magician | |
| [25:06] | is going into a messy closet, | |
| [25:08] | and the gay magician, well, he’s going into one | |
| [25:10] | that’s neat as a pin. | |
| [25:22] | Kind of thought you weren’t gonna show. | |
| [25:23] | TONY: Hey, man, look. | |
| [25:24] | I know you’re still upset. All right? | |
| [25:26] | I screwed up, okay? | |
| [25:27] | I know we were supposed to hang out | |
| [25:28] | and see each other on the Fourth of May | |
| [25:30] | and take Forget-Me-Nows and… | |
| [25:31] | I just chickened out, man. | |
| [25:34] | Plus, there wasn’t a fourth of May this year. | |
| [25:36] | Crowd. | |
| [25:38] | -♪ ♪ -(cheering) | |
| [25:45] | Look, I felt bad about the whole thing. | |
| [25:47] | I mean, you said this was an important gig | |
| [25:49] | and I figured I had to show. | |
| [25:51] | Yeah, well, the truth is this was never about the gig. | |
| [25:54] | I did this whole thing just to see you one last time. | |
| [25:56] | Wow. | |
| [25:57] | Well, the truth is, for me, | |
| [25:58] | I kind of did the same thing for you. | |
| [25:59] | I mean, I just wanted the chance to see you one last time | |
| [26:02] | and say good-bye. | |
| [26:06] | Crowd! | |
| [26:10] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [26:12] | If you really feel that way, | |
| [26:14] | maybe we don’t have to say good-bye. | |
| [26:16] | What do you mean? | |
| [26:17] | I mean, the problem was, like you said, | |
| [26:19] | that we couldn’t be together | |
| [26:20] | without branding each other’s taint. | |
| [26:21] | No, it’s, uh, tainting each other’s brand, but same dif. | |
| [26:24] | Dif. | |
| [26:26] | BOTH: Same. | |
| [26:27] | -Same dif. -But if this… | |
| [26:29] | Oh, I thought you were gonna… You’re gonna say one more? | |
| [26:31] | Nah, it’s okay. We don’t have to always be in sync all of… | |
| [26:33] | BOTH: Crowd! | |
| [26:34] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [26:36] | (sighs) Look, what I’m saying is, | |
| [26:38] | if this trick goes off like I think | |
| [26:39] | and the yahoos in the stands don’t realize that | |
| [26:41] | (over speaker): all we’re doing is just folding some clothes | |
| [26:44] | and slipping through our trapdoors | |
| [26:45] | and crawling under the float | |
| [26:46] | -to switch closets, then… -TONY: Right. | |
| [26:48] | When you come sashaying out like Ms. Berry Zuckerkorn… | |
| [26:50] | And you’re as straight as Bob Loblaw at | |
| [26:52] | -a high school prom. (chuckles) -I don’t know who that is. | |
| [26:54] | Oh, he’s an attorney we were forced to use one year and he… | |
| [26:56] | I guess he likes them young. | |
| [26:58] | But, uh, we pull this off and we got a show, man. | |
| [27:00] | We could hit the road together. You know? | |
| [27:02] | Hotels and… share a room… | |
| [27:05] | Yeah. Um… | |
| [27:08] | there’s only one problem with your plan. | |
| [27:10] | I don’t have a trapdoor in here. | |
| [27:13] | What? Oh. | |
| [27:15] | Oh, come on! So we’re just two men | |
| [27:18] | who went into a closet and changed coats? | |
| [27:21] | All right. Well, this is an audience of people | |
| [27:23] | too stupid to get out of town on a holiday weekend. | |
| [27:26] | They’re not gonna expect the thing to take a twist. | |
| [27:28] | NARRATOR: But another twist had been planned | |
| [27:31] | -that Gob knew nothing about. -GOB: So we’ll just, you know, | |
| [27:34] | we’ll pull one from the old magic playbook. | |
| [27:37] | We’ll sell it with our smiles. | |
| [27:40] | By the way, I can’t wait | |
| [27:43] | to see you out there. | |
| [27:44] | Same! | |
| [27:45] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [27:47] | Who’s straight now? | |
| [27:50] | (cheering) | |
| [27:52] | I wonder if my friend straightened out his act. | |
| [27:55] | -♪ Free ♪ -♪ Free ♪ | |
| [27:58] | ♪ Free at last ♪ | |
| [27:59] | -♪ Free at last ♪ -Tony, get out here, man. | |
| [28:02] | ♪ Talking ’bout freedom ♪ | |
| [28:03] | -Tony. -♪ Freedom… ♪ | |
| [28:07] | -What the…? -♪ Free, free at last… ♪ | |
| [28:10] | JOHN (over speaker): Laguna Closet Conversion | |
| [28:12] | wants me to make it clear that, well, | |
| [28:14] | their conversion service is not what you think. | |
| [28:17] | They convert closets… | |
| [28:19] | NARRATOR: And George Sr. caught up with his wife. | |
| [28:21] | I’d offer you a seat, but this is a new purse. | |
| [28:23] | I’m actually good here. | |
| [28:25] | ANNOUNCER: And, after talking politics… | |
| [28:27] | So did we-we get Lindsay? | |
| [28:29] | If you squint. | |
| [28:31] | We may just get away with this, George. | |
| [28:35] | You know, it might be the-the last drop | |
| [28:37] | of the estrogen speaking, but I, uh… | |
| [28:39] | (crying): I lost the land in Mexico. | |
| [28:41] | -What? How? -I… | |
| [28:43] | I missed some payments and then, uh, the-the Mexican Romneys, | |
| [28:48] | they showed up and they took it back. | |
| [28:49] | And they said, “No refundo.” | |
| [28:52] | And they speak English. | |
| [28:53] | They’re-they’re Mexican, but they are Romneys. | |
| [28:56] | -George, without that land our whole plan falls apart. | |
| [28:59] | -I know. | |
| [29:00] | The Chinese will expect Lindsay to support a wall | |
| [29:02] | -we can’t afford to build. -Right. | |
| [29:04] | She has to lose. | |
| [29:06] | -She has to lose. -Yeah. | |
| [29:09] | Damn it, George. Why didn’t you tell me that at the cottage? | |
| [29:11] | It happened in Mexico. | |
| [29:12] | I mean, when you came back. | |
| [29:14] | I just, I just came back. | |
| [29:15] | I was parking the Winnie. | |
| [29:17] | Do you have any idea how hard it is | |
| [29:18] | to find five open spaces | |
| [29:20] | -on parade day? -JOHN: Well, here now | |
| [29:21] | is congressional candidate Lindsay Bluth. | |
| [29:23] | Oh, no. Here comes her float. | |
| [29:25] | People are going to love it. | |
| [29:27] | NARRATOR: In fact, DeBrie, fearful and self-conscious, | |
| [29:30] | was hiding from the crowd, | |
| [29:32] | ironically embodying the person | |
| [29:35] | she was meant to impersonate. | |
| [29:37] | She does capture Lindsay. | |
| [29:39] | I’m not sure what she’s, uh, trying to say, John. | |
| [29:42] | She wants to keep Muslims out of America? | |
| [29:45] | Or in? | |
| [29:46] | Well, they’re certainly getting a rise out of this crowd. | |
| [29:49] | NARRATOR: It was message that was easily interpreted | |
| [29:51] | through the lens of one’s particular bias… | |
| [29:53] | She’s a Muslim. | |
| [29:55] | She’s disrespecting Muslims. | |
| [29:57] | She’s a ghost. | |
| [29:59] | She’s disrespecting ghosts. | |
| [30:01] | NARRATOR: …but equally hated by all. | |
| [30:03] | We may just get away with this, George. | |
| [30:06] | And George Michael arrived looking to finally be honest | |
| [30:10] | -with his father. -MICHAEL: Oh, George Michael. | |
| [30:12] | -George Michael. Hey. -Dad, hey. | |
| [30:13] | -Hi, hey. -Hey, hey. Listen, um… | |
| [30:15] | you know that picture of the two people in the stair car? | |
| [30:16] | Do I know it? | |
| [30:18] | I just used it to get Buster out. Okay? | |
| [30:22] | I didn’t go through channels. I didn’t ask Barry. | |
| [30:24] | I just fixed it, you know? | |
| [30:26] | You got to be straight with people. | |
| [30:28] | Nothing bad can ever come of that. | |
| [30:30] | That’s me and Maeby. | |
| [30:32] | What is “me and Maeby”? | |
| [30:34] | In the picture. | |
| [30:37] | This is a bald man and a woman with spiky, black hair. | |
| [30:42] | Well, I’m not proud of this, but we… | |
| [30:44] | we were wearing the Ron Howard/Brian Grazer wigs | |
| [30:47] | from the Imagine gift shop. | |
| [30:48] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [30:50] | That’s you? Why would you do that? | |
| [30:53] | Uh, we were playing. | |
| [30:55] | What were you playing– Ron and Brian? | |
| [30:57] | -Go to Mexico. -What’s that? | |
| [30:59] | Ron and Brian Go to Mexico. | |
| [31:02] | Was the name of the game? | |
| [31:04] | We were bored. You don’t get it. Well, I knew it was a bad idea | |
| [31:09] | to spend my Imagine bucks on those wigs. | |
| [31:12] | You’ve got the stair car, though. | |
| [31:14] | The cops were looking for it. You found it? | |
| [31:17] | It was right next to the house after Cinco. | |
| [31:19] | Dad, listen. I think you better go to the D.A. | |
| [31:21] | and be straight with her about this. | |
| [31:22] | Should I tell her that my son and my niece | |
| [31:24] | were playing Ron and Brian? | |
| [31:25] | Go to Mexico. | |
| [31:26] | Go to Mexico? No. I’m not telling her that. | |
| [31:29] | She seems, uh, very happy now and-and Buster is almost free. | |
| [31:32] | I’m sorry, Dad. | |
| [31:33] | I shouldn’t have told you the truth. | |
| [31:35] | No, no. | |
| [31:38] | But I do think that we should make a one-time exception | |
| [31:42] | to the rule “Always be straight with everyone,” hmm? | |
| [31:45] | I mean, honesty is always the best policy, but, uh… | |
| [31:49] | It’s just not the only one. | |
| [31:51] | It’s one of a bunch. | |
| [31:55] | NARRATOR: But unfortunately for Michael, | |
| [31:56] | the man who is supposed to be with Lucille 2 in Mexico | |
| [32:00] | wasn’t that far away after all | |
| [32:03] | and had a plan of his own | |
| [32:04] | to make it seem like he, too, was part of the parade. | |
| [32:08] | A plan that we’ve decided to present in the style | |
| [32:12] | -to which it harkens back. -(piano music playing) | |
| [32:14] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [32:18] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [32:41] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [33:19] | ♪ ♪ | |
| [33:30] | NARRATOR: It was. | |
| [33:36] | NARRATOR: Maeby finds the man she had previously tried | |
| [33:40] | to get away from horribly injured. | |
| [33:42] | I never even got the chance to tell him. | |
| [33:46] | It’s over. | |
| [33:48] | I’m breaking up with you. | |
| [33:51] | Oh, and I need your keys. | |
| [33:53] | NARRATOR: Buster, unaware that he has | |
| [33:55] | only a few days left in jail, | |
| [33:57] | -What’s happening? -is also unaware | |
| [33:58] | he’s part of a prison break… | |
| [34:00] | -It’s, uh, part of the act. -Oh. | |
| [34:02] | Anything for the kids. | |
| [34:04] | …and risks 30 years for the crime. | |
| [34:06] | BUSTER: The parade really starts thinning out around here. | |
| [34:09] | NARRATOR: Gob, abandoned and confused, | |
| [34:12] | can’t get back in the closet. | |
| [34:13] | It seems as if the Christian-y fellow | |
| [34:15] | is now a gay man, and by the looks of things, | |
| [34:17] | -he’ll be staying that way. -Tony. Tony. | |
| [34:19] | JOHN: What a surprise. | |
| [34:21] | -Yeah, not to me. -GOB: Tony! | |
| [34:23] | NARRATOR: Sally, all but sure to win, | |
| [34:26] | visits Stan in the hospital. | |
| [34:27] | It’s called safety hair. | |
| [34:29] | Practically undetectable. | |
| [34:32] | They tell me John Travolta wears his | |
| [34:33] | even when it isn’t hailing. | |
| [34:35] | No, no, no. Some clowns throws so much as a peach pit at you, | |
| [34:38] | it clanks and everybody knows. | |
| [34:40] | No, you want to keep me safe, let’s build that wall. | |
| [34:42] | Those Bluths are dangerous, I’m telling you. | |
| [34:44] | Yeah, I guess they do have us by the short wigs. | |
| [34:46] | NARRATOR: And Tobias desperately tries not to lose | |
| [34:49] | -his most recent Lindsay. -Help! Please! We need a doctor! | |
| [34:52] | It’s an emergency. Hi. It’s us again. Help! | |
| [34:53] | Did you redo the floors here? | |
| [34:56] | Help, we need a doctor. Oh! | |
| [34:58] | It’s okay. She’s usually on pain pills. | |
| [35:00] | Ugh. I’m gonna call it. | |
| [35:02] | Looks like she’s been stiff for about 18 hours. | |
| [35:04] | Oh, no, no. She’s very much alive. | |
| [35:05] | She just crashed through a papier-mâché wall. | |
| [35:07] | DeBRIE: I’m under the impression | |
| [35:09] | that if you’re carried in | |
| [35:10] | they put you immediately on the morphine drip? | |
| [35:12] | -That’s what we’ve been told before. -Okay, look. | |
| [35:14] | -We prioritize according to need. -Of course. | |
| [35:16] | -Here. -Oh, okay. All right. | |
| [35:19] | Help! Please! It’s a higher priority emergency! | |
| [35:22] | Help! | |
| [35:24] | Oh, bullshit you didn’t redo these floors. | |
| [35:25] | They look amazing. (chuckles) | |
| [35:29] | Help! | |
| [35:31] | I got to stop coming out this way. |